Fun-Killing D.C. Cops: No Sledding on Capitol Hill
We can't have another 9/11, after all


Sorry, D.C.-area sledding enthusiasts: Winter fun is strictly prohibited on Capitol Hill grounds, and the police fully intend to enforce the law.
Cops told sledders on the southwest side of the Capitol to pack it in on Tuesday, according to The Wall Street Journal, which also noted that the sledding ban has existed since 9/11. But if American children aren't allowed to enjoy a bit of fun on public property, surely the terrorists have already won.
D.C. resident Jessica Zippin told The Journal that members of Congress can grant waivers for individual people to be allowed to sled, although a police officer also quoted in the article contradicted that information:
Capitol Police Officer Shennell Antrobus said sledding isn't allowed on the grounds and said he wasn't aware that individual members of Congress could petition for a temporary reprieve. "The only thing I know is that in our regulations, sledding is not allowed on the Capitol grounds," he said.
I called the D.C. police but wasn't able to immediately confirm the existence of a secret sledding waiver system (nobody picked up in the communications department).
Residents unhappy with the ban are free to contact their ostensible government representative: Rep. Eleanor Holmes Norton, who doesn't actually even get a vote in the House of Representatives.
I've previously written about the increasing prevalence of sledding bans, which are encouraged by over-protective government policies stemming from insane liability lawsuits:
It seems to me there is some comfortable room between the Wild West frontier of days past and the bubble-wrapped nanny state we live in now. Perhaps the government could protect our basic safety needs while still allowing for a bit of winter fun?
Reason's Lenore Skenazy has also covered this phenomenon.
Sledding bans made Reason TV's Nanny of the Month video in January. Watch that below.
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You'll put your eye out!
Almanian!|2.17.15 @ 5:27PM|#
"You'll put your eye out!"
If Jimmy jumped off the bridge, would you, too?
Did the Germans use 50-year-old Soviet-era rocket engines to attain orbit in their dastardly, un-provoked attack on Pearl Harbor??! I don't think so!!! Therefor your argument is as worfless as Eric Barwin!!! Eric Barwin, you are worfless!!!
Sadly, since the ending of DS(, we've *all* been worfless.
Also: Boston Mayor tells residents to stop jumping out of their windows into snow banks
We have to ban this now, we need more laws!
why would someone want to stop natural selection?
Clearly you haven't seen this snow. The mayor is basically telling people they can't leave their houses. (I did actually bury a couple of the first floor's windows when I was doing the sidewalk)
I went to the beach yesterday. We collected fossil shark teeth. Some weirdos from up north were swimming in the gulf, so we had the cops deport them.
My boy got a chance to try out his new birthday present yesterday.
"This is a Hazmat non-returnable item?"
Lead acid battery
Ah. Pretty cool, though I'd like a much higher-powered one. I mean, for me.
We were down in Venice, which is one of or the very best place to find fossilized shark teeth. People regularly find megalodon teeth there, though usually the best of those are found by people diving offshore a bit.
You can rent them in touristy places. I played with an adult sized one in the Bahamas. Tons of fun, and the sea life can't get away from you!
were swimming in the gulf
Did they get MRSA?
You know, I haven't heard much about that recently. I think the Bucs took it all into their locker room and saved Tampa. Unsung heroes, really.
Because needz moar retarded voters. Duh!
because they're democrats.
I am convinced that is the goal of progressive policies (and modern civilization in general)
"Civilization" weakens the race.
So...........global warming is going to save lives? I'm going to keep this one in my back pocket for my next encounter with a Green.
Kids are still sledding down the hill across the street from me, today, here in Baltimore, much to my amazement that the neighborhood budy bodies haven't went out of their way to kill someone's fun.
But in DC, I can understand it a little more, since in only 9 days or so, they'll be reefer crazed zombies on those hills.
And they'll be unregulated reefer crazed zombies, those are the worst!
But the children!? This might endanger the children! So we must pass more restrictions making them all sled on one congested hill!
Free Sledding Zone
Things sure have changed. When I was there in 1995, people laid out and tanned right next to the Capitol. Is there nothing the terrorists haven't taken from us?
They'll find more things, don't worry.
Damn them!
The terrorists took nothing that we did not give them.
They stole my brain!!!!!
the sledding ban has existed since 9/11.
Jeebus. 9/11 was like an ultimate power-up for every fucking busybody, nanny, and authoritarian in the US.
Under what conceivable scenario is sledding on Capitol Hill a security threat?
Bomb-bearing drone-sleds?
Or, in the case of sunbathers mentioned above: boob baring red heads.
And don't forget the kiosks that used to cover the Mall in capitalist glory.
That really happened?
Last time my wife and I were on the mall, we stopped at this little place that's not far from the Washington Monument to get a snack and something to drink. My wife wanted and coke and the girl told us they aren't allowed to sell Coke on the mall, only Pepsi. I guess Pepsi is the favored crony soft drink company of the Obama regime.
It used to be covered with those little stands. Lots of t-shirts. When I first saw that, I loved America a little more.
All gone now, like the rest of our freedoms and guts.
Sadly, yes.
Let us purchase three t-shirts for $5 in commemoration.
No Coke..Pepsi !
That's Chicago.
Do you want the terror-sledders to win?
I have heard of something called rocket sleds before. Perhaps this is what the Capitol Police fear.
Kinetic bombardment. Those sleds get going pretty quickly.
I don't think this is about space-based kinetic, er, sleds. That, I would understand.
Under what conceivable scenario is sledding on Capitol Hill a security threat?
The Fuck You That's Why scenario.
Too many targets. Don't want them terrorists to have 100,000,000,000,001 targets. 100,000,000,000,000 is enough.
Pat Robertson's Latest Warning About Facebook
"Yesterday on "The 700 Club," Pat Robertson fielded a question from a viewer who wondered if she should be worried about her pregnant daughter posting fetal ultrasound photos on Facebook. Robertson, giving an answer that sounds more like a bad sequel to "Rosemary's Baby," warned that the woman's daughter may be setting her family up to be cursed by a Facebook-savvy satanic coven.
'I don't think there is any harm in it,' he said. 'But I tell you, there are demons and there are evil people in the world, and you post a picture like that and some cultist gets hold of it or a coven and they begin muttering curses against an unborn child. You never know what somebody's going to do.'"
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/.....F9cKU.dpuf
He's right about derpbook being evil, just for the wrong reasons.
Wrong reasons is a bit of an understatement, we're talking a guy warning that demons and cultists might curse your fetus if you put it online here.
It's not like it's THAT crazy.
This is why cremation's the way to go. That way you can your spirit particles can invade other peoples' bodies and fuck with their sexuality.
/Reasons why I never got a theology degree.
*That way you can get your spirit particles to invade other peoples' bodies and fuck with their sexuality.
Jesus, I need a proofreader for my phone.
Have you been watching '80s classic All of Me with Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin?
I actually just rewatched that a few weeks ago.
I saw it once, probably in the early '90s and for some reason it stuck with me.
I really wish he would shut up. As a Christian, he makes us all look bad. Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
am I the only one who read that as if it said it was fun killing DC cops?
I admit nothing. Nothing at all..
"(nobody picked up in the communications department)."
Passive aggressive much, Robby?
Feminists discover downside of FDA
A pharmaceutical company hoping to develop the female version of Viagra resubmitted its drug for the Food and Drug Administration's review on Tuesday ? representing the latest major development in a years long fight that has pitted scientists against feminists....
But FDA officials have so far declined to approve flibanserin for mass production because of concerns over its side effects, like levels of dizziness and drowsiness that could impair driving. Experts have also suggested that it isn't effective enough to justify its potential risks. Critics, meanwhile, have accused the agency of gender bias, saying there are already more than 20 drugs on the market to treat male sexual dysfunction and the FDA's reluctance to approve a drug for women suggests an implicit discomfort with women taking control over their sexuality."
http://thinkprogress.org/healt.....gra-fight/
"concerns over its side effects, like levels of dizziness and drowsiness that could impair driving."
If you're a horny woman, you've got better things to do than drive a car anyway.
Besides, alcohol works for most women, even small amounts of it.
In college, I remember women acting drunk after having a glass of wine placed in their hands.
Although, most women I have seen who claim to be feminist, would need to add a tranquilizer dart gun to the mix to keep the targeted guy from running away.
Maybe the FDA can package a government subsidized package for them, a 6 pack of wine coolers and a tranquilizer gun. They'll just have to think of what name to market it under.
Do you go to college? In my experience there's a fair number of attractive girls there who identify as feminists.
Lucky for me, I haven't been on a university campus as a student for nearly 20 years.
But when I was, people didn't 'identify' themselves as all of these different things, they were there to get an education. And all of the professors weren't hardcore Marxists. There were no classes called 'gender studies' or any other ridiculous bullshit like that.
It's not like they're all hanging out and reading bell hooks and Andrea Dworkin, it's just that they'd consider themselves some kind of feminist.
I've always thought the whole 'only ugly chicks are feminists' is just an old wives tale popular with conservatives who got turned down by some woman and chalked it up to them being 'a crazy feminist, not that good looking anyway.'
it's just that they'd consider themselves some kind of feminist
In other words, they just feel the need to identify with something and have no fucking idea what it even is.
Are you going to add something meaningful to the conversation, tonight, Bo? Or at least make an attempt at wit, or something? Or is it just going to be the same old drab contrarian bullshit?
I know, the latter.
Wow, touchey there. Did my last line hit a nerve?
Let it go, she was probably a lesbian anyway!
Your're really not too smart, Bo. No wonder almost everyone here hates you. I go out of my way to be nice to you, but it doesn't seem to work.
1. It was kidding, don't be so touchey.
2. "No wonder almost everyone here hates you" is usually not something grown ups say, even on the internet.
Swap out "conservatives" with Bo and I think we're onto something here, Hyperion.
You're not being a grown up around here, Bo. If you were, you would start actually engaging in debate and thoughtful comments instead of being a constant contrarian. I mean seriously, if I say I think the moon is green, you will say it's purple, for no obvious reason except being contrary.
Also, you often engage in personal insults, while at the same time accusing others of doing so.
Critics, meanwhile, have accused the agency of gender bias, saying there are already more than 20 drugs on the market to treat male sexual dysfunction and the FDA's reluctance to approve a drug for women suggests an implicit discomfort with women taking control over their sexuality.
To which the FDA collectively replied, "Look, I'm not a machine!"
Those kids are lucky the noble defenders of freedom in the machine gun nests didn't chop them into pieces.
I wonder how long it will be before some kid sledding down a steep hill will be gunned down by trigger happy cops.
'STOP! STOP! He's coming right at us! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM! I feared for my life!
Eh it's more likely that three cops will empty two mags apiece at the kids on the sled and hit nothing but snow.
Damn you.
Don't joke, dude. They're already killing kids that are just carrying toy guns (and not even pointing said toy guns at them), people with cell phones, you name it. At this point, once their guns come out, something is almost assuredly getting shot, and it will probably be anything moving. Including kids.
I wasn't joking.
"They're coming right for us!"
Are they worried about Val Kilmer and Warwick Davis taking them out Willow-style?
Will Joanne Whalley be there? Just say yes.
I don't love her, she kicked me in the face!
Get your hair out of my face or I'll chop it off.
So I definitely Googled her (been a while since I've seen Willow) and one of the pictures is her staring at a glass dong in the foreground.
D.C. resident Jessica Zippin told The Journal that members of Congress can grant waivers for individual people to be allowed to sled
I believe we've found our replacement for Brian Williams!
This is so fucked up. If we were worth a shit as a citizenry right now, tens of thousands of sledders would descend on DC and sled nonstop for weeks.
It's sad how sheep like compliant we have become as a nation.
We're supposed to be the freest nation on earth, but I can tell you, as far as personal freedom, we're not. Economic freedom, we still rank way up there, but we're slipping down the scale each year. Out of control cronyism will eventually put us into the lowest ranks of economic freedom, and it's not going to take decades to get there at the rate we're going.
How we got here is no mystery. We stopped fighting back sufficiently when government tried (and succeeded) to increase its power and take away our liberties. Government usurpation of power had been attempted from the very outset of constitutional government, but people fought hard against that in many cases for over a century. Now, not so much.
People surrendered a chunk of liberty here and a chunk there when facing certain 'emergencies.' Which is why I'm always wary of alarmists, be they on the right (Muslims! Immigrants!) or left (rising sea waters! Plutocrats!).
Yet you were recently alarmed about the lack of a sheepskin on someone's wall.
That's a pretty massive equivocation there.
Sorry, I didn't finish college, so I don't know what that word means.
You could ask someone who did, like every governor in the country except one or two.
Walker and who else?
Jan Brewer maybe?
I looked it up, Gary Herbert of Utah.
Well I'm covered if "Educational Accomplishments of Current American Governors" is the topic at pub trivia.
Government has learned to leverage the divide and conquer tactic. We are so busy fighting each other, we don't have time to waste on the real cause of all the problems.
Yup-Yo! And the problem is excessive guv in the 1st place...
Even without snow.
Will no one organize the "Million Sled *March*"?
Where is Calvin when you need him? To the Transmogrifier!
I think he's peeing on the cross or praying to the Ford logo or something.
Speaking of balancing of Karma, I wonder what Bill Watterson's ghost is going to do the people who started that once he's gone.
Dude if you're an ethereal being with infinite range and power, you're not going to waste time wreaking terrible vengeance on the people who wronged you in the meat-life you no longer live.
You're going to go watch people in the shower.
This is correct. As most scientists are aware, the Bernoulli effect is an inadequate explanation for why shower curtains behave the way they do during showers. The explanation--the only possible explanation--is ghost voyeurs.
Hah! If you are a being of infinite power, you will have knocked up some cute Jewish babe some 2 K+ years ago! In a steamy and unseemly, lop-sided affair...
Then MUCH later, when the angels say you are stressing out too too terribly much, and you should take a vacation on some back-woods planet like Earth, just to get away from all the pepples that get away from it all, you say, "Ha! Ain't goin' anywhere near the place! Silly little affair with a Jewish girl, no big deal... The Nosenhiemer BAHSTAHDS ain't stopped talkin' about it ever since!"
I really need to find the cartoon I drew where I drew Calvin's dad and his uncle out hunting and down the hill Calvin is dead next to his Transmogrifier box, and the dial is set to "Bear" or "Deer" (I can't remember which). I mimicked Watterson's style perfectly too.
"D.C. resident Jessica Zippin told The Journal that members of Congress can grant waivers for individual people to be allowed to sled"
After a campaign contribution of course.
OT, but hey!
If we didn't have crazy uncle Joe Biden, we'd have to invent Shirley MacLaine:
"'What if most Holocaust victims were balancing their karma from ages before, when they were Roman soldiers putting Christians to death, the Crusaders who murdered millions in the name of Christianity, soldiers with Hannibal, or those who stormed across the Near East with Alexander?"
http://www.msn.com/en-us/movie.....reporter11
I did not know the Roman soldiers were Jewish, but then I miss so much!
He's the best possible Vice President. In fact, I suspect he's a divine reward for all that America has done in recent decades.
"In fact, I suspect he's a divine reward for all that America has done in recent decades."
And, sadly, that might well be true.
Can there be any doubt? It's end times, bitches! Run away!
To quote an old Dilbert strip I'm fond of, "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people and assume they deserved it."
Israel's state comptroller is clearly an anti-Semite
"On Tuesday, at precisely 4 p.m. local time, the Israeli state comptroller released an eagerly awaited report condemning the Netanyahus for "excessive spending" at both the prime minister's official residence "
http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....id=HP_more
Yawn.
I am drinking Cooper's Best Extra Stout to self-medicate the pain away. I hate snow, but I hate sledding bans even more.
Stout is definitely best when it's cold outside.
Vodka, comrade. Vodka is best when Winter is biting your neck.
Of course, it's 68F here, and I'm going to go pour me a vodka.
A Vodka Collins, made with fresh squeezed lemons.
Tonight, it's cold beer, or a different cold beer. I might light a fire if it cools off later. I got some awesome fire glass at home depot. Best $17 I ever spent. Other than the money I spent on the beer.
Cold beer, cold day.
Rainwater and pure grain alcohol... Anything else, will mess w/yer purity of yer bodily essences... Oh, the rainwater and grain alcohol should be locally sourced, and organic, as well...
I hope you have a license for that rain water and distilling, be a shame if something happened to it.
/the feds
Did ya'll know what the Mayan civilization fell because of man made global warming?
Yep, it's true, I'm watching History Channel right now.
And the Mayans had wireless technology too.
Probably the most flagrant false advertiser in the cable industry, with the exception of TLC.
Nothing can cut diorite (mohs scale 5 - 7) except for diamond! The ancients had alien technology!
/derp
But did they have karma?
Yeah, if you mean smallpox, the Spanish brought the karma.
That'a OK because the Indians traded them syphilis for it.
Yeah, right after the smallpox killed most of them off. I don't think it was an equal trade. It was like some beads for Manhattan Island type of deal.
Isn't there like two dozens different theories as to why the Mayan slow collapse happened, some of which as simple a trade routes shifting?
Oh wait, History Channel. I'm surprised it wasn't aliens.
JEWS DID MAYAN SLOW COLLAPSE!!!
Or Hitler.
It could have been non-man made climate change. A major drought maybe, I think there is some real evidence for this theory.
That's not interesting enough.
Ok. When the space aliens visited the Mayans and offered them wireless technology, iPads, and Michael Kors acessories, the Mayans tried to double cross them by hiding their most bestest nubile wiminz, and when the aliens found out, they nuked the Mayan cities.
And that's the real truth.
I think the serious, actually-backed-by-evidence theory is that a.) there wasn't really a collapse, just a decline, and b.) there were a ton of contributing factors, of which an unusual series of severe droughts was one. Not to mention the charming Mayan pastime of warfare, enslavement, and human sacrifice.
Apparently the Yucatan peninsula is a "wet desert" so to speak, with a dearth of reliable fresh water and relatively thin soil layer. Crap-ass jungle trees and vines grow like champs, but not so much viable foodstuffs. Farming above the bare subsistence level requires fairly sophisticated organizational capabilities and relatively complex technology, thus the rise of the Mayan city-states. The system was very brittle, however, and broke under strain.
I went to the local park to the sledding hill today. The differences I noticed from when I was a kid were:
1. Tons more adults, and the cars that came with them. When I was a kid, my parents did not like driving in the snow. If we wanted to sledding, we had to walk to the park. Which we did alone, or maybe with one of the gang's dads. Who brought a hip flask to keep him warm.
2. No fire. Someone always found an old metal trash barrel, or some scrap steel, or something and lit a fire. People tended it, fed it, kept toddlers from falling into it. Everyone gathered around it and warmed themselves when they got cold. Usually it was one of the dads who lit it, but he would enlist older boys to take turn as fire watch. People would walk to the grocery store for hot dogs and marshmallows.
3. Everyone leaves early. Me and the girlfriend walked past the main sledding hill at noon and watched for a bit. Lot of people leaving, but a few coming in. Walked past it again at 3 or so, only a few diehards. When I was a kid it was packed by 930 and people didn't leave until it was too dark to see what was in front of you.
I had to walk to the big hill at the park for sledding, uphill and in the snow.
1. Parents don't want their children to be abducted by the police.
2. Need a permit for that, which you're not going to get if you tell them that's what it's for.
3. That one is mainly because of number 1. The parents have to stay there the entire time to prevent the police from kidnapping their kids, and they get bored. Besides that, kids tire more quickly than they used to, and they have video games to play inside the nice, warm house (where the parents would rather be).
We had a downhill track with a couple of turns like for a luge and brought a keg. We didn't even need ice.
If we wanted to sledding, we had to walk to the park.
Good point. You used to see kids dragging their sleds down the road, headed for the hill. I haven't seen such a thing for who knows how long.
Something else crazy I saw: lots of parents pulling their kids in sleds along the park roads to and from the hill. Not toddlers or kindergartners, but 2nd-3rd grade aged kids. Pulling them along 200 yards of snowy road.
Why, after the invention of Super Smash Bros, would anyone go sledding?
Dude I grew up with the original. Then got Melee when it came out. Then me and my brother sold our Gamecube for an Xbox.
We played the original in the lounge at the dorm freshman year though. Good times.
My first video game was that pong thing where all you did was hit this white pixel mass, which was the ball, across a screen trying to get it in into a small goal on the other side, with these things they called joysticks.
Last week or so, I've been playing Ravens Cry, a game so buggy but so cool. There's more cursing and politically incorrect stuff in it than any game ever, and you're a pirate!
In the opening scene, you're on your ship trying to sink another ship and the banter from your second in command to the sailors includes such epic lines as:
Load those cannons faster, you cocksuckers!
Be brave, you pussies!
You're going to die today, bitches!
My first video game was that pong thing where all you did was hit this white pixel mass, which was the ball, across a screen trying to get it in into a small goal on the other side, with these things they called joysticks.
Long live the VIC-20!
"Fun-Killing D.C. Cops"
Terroristic threats against DC police officers were detected and logged by the NSA's HooverIt extremist event detection system. The threats emanated from a well known web site for a right wing extremist hate group. Because of the timely detection of the threat by the HooverIt system, the hate group's LA and DC headquarters were neutralized through drone strikes without incident for DC police. The top leadership of the group was verified destroyed through DNA sampling, while dozens of lower level operatives were confirmed dead.
FBI investigators are inspecting the rubble at the devastated sites in hopes of finding information pointing to affiliated terror cells. The identities of the visitors frequenting the hate site were collected by HooverIt, and the FBI has been rounding up the terrorists for detention and questioning at Guantanamo Bay.
The 2 they are looking for are known as Tony and Buttplug.
Seriously, guys. You don't have to inflict Bo on yourselves. The power is in your hands.
powr iz 4 grwn upz
Shut up, you boor.
It's actually pretty hilarious watching the oblivious idiot go right out and attack the one person engaging him civilly in this thread. I mean, this is top quality entertainment.
Stay tuned for an all-new episode of Unfrozen Caveman Law Student!
Are you saying that it's your fault?
Yo Robby, were they DC police or US Capitol Police? Those are two separate agencies.
I trust I'm not the only one who misread the title and caught a glimmer of hope, only to have it be smashed like a guitar at a Nirvana concert.
NO, NO, NO!
The government is not here to to 'protect our basic safety needs'.
Where are the legal sledding places in D.C.?
A sled in time saves nine ---- eleven? Thank God we're further protected from the violent extremism of kids sledding on Capitol Hill. Just a few more sledding bans to go before the whole country is secure!
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Nope, can't do it. You can't half-ring a bell, Soave, and you can't have a government that only intrudes in your life enough to provide for "basic safety needs". The moment you charge the government with prevention, as opposed to adjudication of disputes and punishment of injuries, you give up the right to "a bit of winter fun" or any other exceptions. You've given your safety to the government. Now your safety is the government's problem. The government is not a scalpel, however. The government is a chainsaw. A big one. Wielded by a blind, retarded rhinoceros with thumbs and a mean crank habit.
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