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President Leaks Policy Proposals Ahead of State of the Union, Pope Francis Goes Full Joe Biden, Pizza Named as Obesity Villain: P.M. Links

J.D. Tuccille | 1.20.2015 4:30 PM

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  • Pope Francis
    Korean Culture and Information Service (Jeon Han)

    Well aware that his state of the union address is mostly an opportunity for mockery by critics of all political persuasions (Reason will be livetweeting the tedious event), President Obama has taken to leaking his (largely DOA) policy proposals to social media.

  • With off-the-cuff comments calling for speech restrictions, criticizing those who breed "like rabbits," and pondering giving con men "a kick where the sun doesn't shine," Pope Francis is gaining a reputation as the Joe Biden of the Roman Catholic Church.
  • In their ongoing efforts to win hearts and minds, the nice folks at ISIS say they'll kill two Japanese hostages unless the government in Tokyo coughs up $200 million.
  • With Social Security disability benefits well on the way to becoming Americans' favorite scheme for "free" money, Republicans and Democrats line up to battle over the nearly broke program.
  • Food nannies have fingered a new villain: pizza. Give it a rest, you friggin' killjoys.
  • Analysts in Europe see growing political instability and a rising tide for populist and nationalist parties. Well, so long as the nationalists mix in a little socialism, what could go wrong?

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NEXT: Salt Is Not the Killer the Government Says It Is

J.D. Tuccille is a contributing editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Food nannies have fingered a new villain: pizza.

    Get your fingers out of my deep dish!

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      That kind of sounds pornographic man.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        "Tagline: 'You'll want these saucy nannies kneading your dough!'"

        "Sir, but, why are we having nannies making pizza?"

        "You're fired."

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      Wait, what? Pizza is the most complete food ever conceived. Aliens cross the vast gulf of space to come to Earth, solely to acquire pizza.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        All four food groups.

        1. Zeb   10 years ago

          Get with it. There haven't been four food groups for 25 or 30 years.

          Now how many sections does that stupid plate thingy have?

        2. BigFish92672   10 years ago

          Pizza has caffeine?!?

      2. Marshall Gill   10 years ago

        The doctor says I swallow a lot of aggression. Along with a lot of pizzas!

        1. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

          Lighten up, Francis.

    3. a better weapon   10 years ago

      Remember a couple of years ago when food nannies wanted a government warning label on hot dogs like they have on cigarette cartons?

      What's the purpose of fixating on one specific item, exactly? I never had a guess.

      1. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

        You get your food in the door with product X, generally something no one would be too opposed to seeing a label on. Then when you want to label product Y, you have a precedent.

        1. waffles   10 years ago

          But if you label everything people will ignore the labels. Sort of like how most consumer products are known to the state of California to cause cancer.

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            *Thinks about Jew Coke, cries*

  2. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

    Helicopter Parents Anonymous

    Recently, my younger daughter left her class project, a time capsule, at the door so I would see it the minute I got home.

    Her project wasn't due for a month, and she took it upon herself to start it and finish it. I beamed at her great work ethic.

    If the story ended here, I would proudly say I am one of those parents who is totally comfortable with the whole "letting my kids fail" concept, but alas, there is more.

    You see, even though my daughter worked hard to create a unique time capsule -- complete with a slipper, miniature soccer and basketball, chess set, Pokemon cards and cordless phone -- I worried that the other kids, probably with help from their parents, would have much more elaborate and highly constructed time capsules. Plus, I thought my daughter didn't quite complete the assignment.

    Of all the things you can do to irreparably scar your children, doing their homework for them is possibly the most insidious and long-lasting scars you can impart on them short of doing something illegal. Helicopter parents belong in the same category as deadbeats, abusers, and neglectful parents.

    1. John   10 years ago

      And it is an out of control arms race. My friends with grade school age kids tell me the teachers just assume the parents will help now and routinely make assignments well beyond the expected ability of students of the age they teach.

      Great society we are building.

      1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

        I remember teachers failing kids for this type of stuff when I was in school. They would explicitly put "no outside help" clauses in the assignments and come down like a sack of hammers on any kid who turned in an assignment not entirely their own work.

        1. John   10 years ago

          The poor little snowflakes. Don't you know what that did to their self esteem?

          1. Zeb   10 years ago

            I don't even know if it is about self esteem. Are kids so stupid that they are proud of work that their parents did for them? I'm pretty sure I would have known the difference between accomplishing something on my own and having it handed to me when I was that age.
            I think it's just that the parents need to get a fucking life. I don't get it.

            1. John   10 years ago

              Kids are not stupid, they are just cynical and want the grade and to get the assignment done.

              1. Zeb   10 years ago

                That's true. It was very much a rhetorical question. Kid's can figure out how to play the game. I guess I wasn't so cynical as a kid. My parents were far far from being helicopter parents, but I still actively avoided getting help with homework as a kid. But I never had regular homework in elementary school.

      2. Zeb   10 years ago

        I'm still kind of shocked at how much homework kids in grade school get now.

      3. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

        This probably wouldn't happen at all if the kids just got less homework.

    2. JW   10 years ago

      I'm not ready to condemn them. Parent-child projects can be very beneficial experiences for a kid.

      My dad was a complete dick, but the one decent memory I have of him is him helping me, really doing most of the work, on my Pinewood Derby car in Cub Scouts. If it were up to me alone, it would have looked like something Bart did himself.

      1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

        There is a place for parent-child projects, but a school project obviously designed to make kids reflect on their own culture and time while following complex instructions is not the place for that.

        There is a giant gulf between an involved parent and a helicopter parent. An involved parent mans the power tools on the pinewood derby car. A helicopter parent offers three design choices to the child and lets the kid put the easier decals on at the very end.

        1. CE   10 years ago

          A helicopter parent mans the power tools. An involved parent just stands by to take the kid to the ER if necessary.

  3. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

    A squadron of 1,700 private jets are rumbling into Davos, Switzerland, this week to discuss global warming and other issues as the annual World Economic Forum gets underway.

    The influx of private jets is so great, the Swiss Armed Forces has been forced to open up a military air base for the first time ever to absorb all the super rich flying their private jets into the event, reports Newsweek.

    "Decision-makers meeting in Davos must focus on ways to reduce climate risk while building more efficient, cleaner, and lower-carbon economies," former Mexican president Felipe Calderon told USA Today.

    Davos, which has become a playground of sorts for the global elite, is expected to feature at least 40 heads of state and 2,500 top business executives. Former Vice President-turned-carbon billionaire Al Gore and rapper Pharrell Williams will be there as well; each plans to discuss global warming and recycling respectively.

    Another big theme of the mega-rich confab will be combating "income inequality" and how the world's rich can pay their fair share to reduce the gap between top earners and the lower class. Admission price for Davos: roughly $40,000 a ticket.

    The World Economic Forum will also feature discussions on gender equality and opportunities for women. According to the World Economic Forum's own statistics, just 17% of all 2015 participants are women.

    1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      http://www.breitbart.com/natio.....l-warming/

    2. The Other Kevin   10 years ago

      Here's an idea. While they are all in conferences, get some of those plane repo guys to steal all the jets. Then dismantle them and sell the parts for scrap, and redistribute the money to the lower class. Less emissions, more equality, start at home.

      1. Restoras   10 years ago

        And then nuke Davos.

        1. Rhywun   10 years ago

          Exterminate! Oh, different Davros.

    3. Sevo   10 years ago

      Enough About Palin|1.20.15 @ 4:31PM|#
      "A squadron of 1,700 private jets are rumbling into Davos, Switzerland, this week"...

      So Rome got tired of the whining and kicked 'em out?

  4. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    ...Pope Francis is gaining a reputation as the Joe Biden of the Roman Catholic Church.

    Possessed? Get yourself a double-barrel censer!

    1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      Well, I just read the alt-text. Eff you, Tuccille. I think you just added that.

    2. Ted S.   10 years ago

      I hate incense. Gives me terrible headaches.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        That's probably the demons.

        1. Ted S.   10 years ago

          As I wrote in another forum this morning:

          I know that when I was 10, I didn't want to be dragged to Mass every Sunday. Of course, I had a mother who would blame God during her screaming fits if she couldn't find anybody else to blame for something that went wrong. She'd blame God if we had missed Mass, and then once she bitched that we had been going to church regularly and God was still punishing her.

          Haven't been to a regular (ie. non wedding/funeral) Mass for 20 years or so.

          I didn't mention the incense.

      2. a better weapon   10 years ago

        I stood in a Romanian wedding once, and good lord I have never seen so much incense burned at one time.

        Luckily I didn't have to rent a tux for it, because there is no way they would have allowed it to be returned smelling the way my clothes did.

  5. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    Speaking of free money...

    "Don't worry. He is correct. Prof. Jon Gruber of MIT told me so."

    Hitler reacts to Obama's State of the Union 2015 speech

  6. Sevo   10 years ago

    "Cuomo's Education Agenda Sets Battle Lines With Teachers' Unions"
    [...]
    ..."he will seek several major changes that, atypical for a Democrat, will put him in direct conflict with teachers' unions."
    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01......html?_r=0

    1. Ted S.   10 years ago

      I've been seeing the commercials. The commercials are basically saying WE NEED MORE MONEY!!!111!!!

  7. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

    Analysts in Europe see growing political instability and a rising tide for populist and nationalist parties. Well, so long as the nationalists mix in a little socialism, what could go wrong?

    At least its an ethos.

    1. Clich? Bandit   10 years ago

      Shut the fuck up Donny

  8. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

    "criticizing those who breed "like rabbits,"

    I thought the pope was supposed to encourage that.

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      I thought he was supposed to encourage Coitus Interruptus over condoms. Or am I mistaken?

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        Dear Lord, the Pope says something most secularists agree with, and still it's not enough!

        http://www.usccb.org/issues-an.....-planning/

        1. Zeb   10 years ago

          I can't be bothered to read that. But natural family planning means buttsex, right?

          1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

            no

      2. Zeb   10 years ago

        Coitus Interruptus

        Isn't that onanism?

        1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

          yes

    2. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      I think he means fucking in rabbit costumes.

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        You'll summon HM!

    3. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      The Holy See's army is getting unwieldy.

    4. Slammer   10 years ago

      When I want sex advice I always ask virgins.

      1. Wasteland Wanderer   10 years ago

        So diddling young boys no longer counts?

    5. Rhywun   10 years ago

      + every sacred sperm

  9. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Well, so long as the nationalists mix in a little socialism, what could go wrong?

    You know who didn't wonder enough what could go wrong?

    1. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

      The bad guys in the Rocketeer?

    2. Ted S.   10 years ago

      NASA with its O-rings?

      1. ola   10 years ago

        +1 Morton Thiokol

    3. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

      Sonny Bono?

    4. SoCal Deathmarch   10 years ago

      John Wayne Bobbit?

    5. Francisco d'Anconia   10 years ago

      Pompeii city planners?

    6. Monty Crisco   10 years ago

      NIXON?!?!

    7. DEATFBIRSECIA   10 years ago

      The Founding Fathers?

    8. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   10 years ago

      Il Duce, right before they hung him upside down in a train station?

    9. BigFish92672   10 years ago

      John Denver?

  10. Ted S.   10 years ago

    In their ongoing efforts to win hearts and minds, the nice folks at ISIS say they'll kill two Japanese hostages unless the government in Tokyo coughs up $200 million.

    Put them in tentacle porn instead.

    1. Warren's Strapon   10 years ago

      Well, at least they've upgraded to an honest crime.

  11. GILMORE   10 years ago

    Newsflash - ISIS: Not Good at Farming

    1. Irish   10 years ago

      Given that Isis was the goddess of life, that's some wonderful irony.

    2. KDN   10 years ago

      they had no guarantees that Islamic State would buy their crop as Baghdad normally does.

      One cheer for ending farm subsidies, I guess.

  12. Warty   10 years ago

    Whoa, fuck, it's PM links time? I got nothin'. Here, listen to Marduk.

    1. Slammer   10 years ago

      I've been playing the hell out of that album this week.

      1. Warty   10 years ago

        I don't have it yet, but the songs I've heard are pretty incredible.

        1. Slammer   10 years ago

          Here. Enjoy some Midnight. Hail Cleveland.

        2. DEATFBIRSECIA   10 years ago

          I'll chip in:

          https://www.youtube.co/watch?v=io49sQnk1wU

          1. Warty   10 years ago

            Man, I haven't listened to the Hellacopters in forever. This takes me back.

        3. Juice   10 years ago

          If you like technical death metal, the new Beyond Creation is pretty damned good.

    2. DEATFBIRSECIA   10 years ago

      +1 Fuck Me Jesus

    3. db   10 years ago

      "Marduk, you *totally* rule."

      "I *totally* already know that."

  13. Episiarch   10 years ago

    Food nannies have fingered a new villain: pizza.

    Enjoy fucking dying on that hill, food nanny morons. Jesus they're pathetic...and pathetically stupid.

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      On days when children eat pizza, they consume an average of 408 additional calories, three additional grams of fat and 134 additional milligrams of salt compared with their regular diet.

      Food morons are still moronic about fat? I thought morons had mostly gotten over it. And three fucking grams of it???

      1. Episiarch   10 years ago

        Oh, the people who bought into all the nutrition shit from 30-40 years ago (such as my mother) still hold to some of its basic, most moronic tenets like the animist superstitious morons they are. Absolute terror of fat and salt are still in their wheelhouse.

      2. Rich   10 years ago

        On days when children eat pizza, they consume an average of 408 additional calories, three additional grams of fat and 134 additional milligrams of salt compared with their regular diet

        of Pop-Tarts and Coca-Cola.

      3. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

        My fiance and her mother are still hung up fat and salt. This despite them being italian and having a history of heart disease in their family, and both struggling to lose weight. Despite this, they still think fat, and not carbs, are the problem. Oh and they're both well-educated and smart.

        1. Warty   10 years ago

          I don't normally say this, but it's beginning to sound as if maybe she should squat more.

          1. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

            Believe me, I have tried.

        2. robc   10 years ago

          I think, by definition, they aren't well educated.

        3. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

          A posting local mom on our neighborhood "Next Door" website said she wanted to get her family healthy, and wanted recommendations to help her start a "low-fat, low salt diet." I wanted to post about how wrong she was, but realized any such act would make me the neighborhood asshole, and I have to live with these people.

      4. a better weapon   10 years ago

        Food morons are still moronic about fat?

        And sodium too, apparently.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Yeah, preach it coomba.

      1. Ted S.   10 years ago

        I thought the word was goomba(h).

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Whatever.

        2. Warty   10 years ago

          It's spelled "disgusting Italian subhuman", you morons.

    3. Riven   10 years ago

      They can take my life, but they'll never take my pizza.

    4. John   10 years ago

      Maybe the problem is eating too much, not what kids are eating.

      1. Warty   10 years ago

        Nowadays everyone is rich enough to get as fat and gouty as a king.

        1. John   10 years ago

          And damn is it fun doing so.

      2. MJGreen   10 years ago

        An extra 400 calories is pretty easy to offset if the kids or parents care about doing that, and assuming pizza is an infrequent treat. Why should anyone freak out about the numbers Warty posted? May as well freak out about kids drinking chocolate milk, that has plenty of the dreaded fat and sodium.

      3. a better weapon   10 years ago

        The problem is activity. When telling your kid to go to the park lands you a visit from CPS, and schools remove jungle gyms, and boys are doped the fuck out on prescription meds, the children are more likely to be couch potatos.

    5. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      Pizza is a fundamental right. Like barbecue.

      1. sasob   10 years ago

        To hell with pizza, but fuck with barbecue and there's gonna be another civil war. I mean real barbecue, cooked with a wood fire (or at least charcoal) and not that yuppie cardboard shit done on a gas or electric grill and/or flavored with condensed creosote.

      2. CE   10 years ago

        When I was a kid, we built our own fires. In the woods. And sharpened sticks to roast hot dogs and marshmallows on. With our own knives.

  14. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    Hello.

    For tonight's SOTU. An oldie but a goodie. Gibson, taxes and Obama:

    http://taxfoundation.org/blog/.....x-exchange

    "Well, Charlie, what I've said is that I would look at raising the capital gains tax for purposes of fairness."

    The guy is just too sparkling.

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      What a divisive populist scumbag. He fits right in with Hugo Chavez, Evo Morales, and every populist scumbag Indian politician I remember during my days growing up there.

    2. Warty   10 years ago

      Well, in his defense, at least he told us exactly what kind of scumbag he is. And morons still voted for him. Fuck morons and fuck voting.

      1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

        Most of these tyrants project their tyranny if you pay attention. You know, like Mein Kampf: "The Jews need to go, and we should move Germans into all of the lands to the east, after moving out the residents."

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          That's the best. When you point to this with Arab terrorists specifically saying (as is the case in the Hamas charter) they want to 'throw Jews into the Sea' people don't believe you. My sister's boyfriend wanted a cite to this when I told him.

          I smashed a bottle over his head.

          In my head.

          1. BigFish92672   10 years ago

            Didn't the European Jews in Israel COME by sea? Maybe it lost something in translation.

      2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

        Voting is great if you do it right.

    3. MJGreen   10 years ago

      Only rich people earn capital gains, right?

      1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

        Only the filthy rich. I mean, who else owns stock?

      2. Marshall Gill   10 years ago

        And they stuff their filthy profits into mattresses stuffed with money! I hear Bill Gates sleeps on 50 money mattresses! Don't even get me started on the vaults of gold coin in which he swims!

  15. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    ...President Obama has taken to leaking his (largely DOA) policy proposals to social media.

    Firing up Attack Watch for some preemptive strikes, I hope.

  16. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    With Social Security disability benefits well on the way to becoming Americans' favorite scheme for "free" money, Republicans and Democrats line up to battle over the nearly broke program.

    PRIVATIZE! PRIVATIZE! PRIVATIZE!

    1. Ted S.   10 years ago

      Ban disability. Problem solved!

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      The disability scam is really scary. We're losing an awful lot of productivity to the dole, that's for sure.

  17. GILMORE   10 years ago

    "ISIS say they'll kill two Japanese hostages unless the government in Tokyo coughs up $200 million."

    as noted earlier today =

    Obviously this is Blowback for Japan's longstanding political and socioeconomic Meddling in the Middle East

    /sheldon

    1. Slammer   10 years ago

      "Collectivist!"

      /bo

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      I heard this morning that it's because the Japanese ponied up some cash to fight ISIS. Of course, they aren't going to give ISIS $200 million under any circumstances, but I'm sure this will encourage them to support anti-ISIS activities all the more.

      1. GILMORE   10 years ago

        Real Japanese look at these ISIS beheadings and think "Ppppt. Amateurs"

        1. BigFish92672   10 years ago

          I know two that won't.

  18. GILMORE   10 years ago

    Newsflash - Look out California, NYC wants Some of that Sexy Public-Rail-Project-Boondoggle-Action Too!

    1. Ted S.   10 years ago

      Build a bunch of fucking el trains already, NYC. El trains can't be that expensive.

      1. GILMORE   10 years ago

        Obviously you haven't been to NYC in a while.

        The last 'train to the plane' project cost $2billion, and linked JFK to lovely Jamaica Queens....

        ...which is like, HUGELY CONVENIENT....if you live in Jamaica, Queens.

        It was promoted as a more-affordable way to get to-from the airports.

        If you think taking walking to a subway that takes you to a train that takes you to a shuttlebus with your luggage is a "Bargain" at only $10 per direction.... compared to $30 get a car to drive you from your door to the terminal... well, good for you and the tiny number of other people who actually use it each year. Last i checked they're losing money on each fare and were considering raising prices.

        The existing Newark air-train is actually more-effective, by contrast; at least then you're going from a comfy MTA train to the airport, rather than stuffed in the subway.

        1. Rhywun   10 years ago

          Yeah, I probably wouldn't take the AirTrain to JFK today - too inconvenient. But in my poor days, sure.

      2. Rhywun   10 years ago

        NYC is the only major city in the world with fewer miles of subway now than 50 years ago. They basically tore down a shitload of els and promised to replace them with subways - which of course never happened.

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      At least yours will only be a mile and a half.

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        Look, I'll take anything that'll get me away from Bakersfield faster.

      2. Rhywun   10 years ago

        At least yours will only be a mile and a half.

        And it will be used.

    3. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

      Meh. I can't say this is, on its face, as stupid an idea as the California HSR. This is something that, at least in principle, has some level of demand. Yes, I think the entire thing should be privatized. But, that isn't going to happen.

  19. GILMORE   10 years ago

    Newsflash -

    Legalization of Weed Means Prosecutors Have Harder Time Demonizing Drug Offenders - Will Someone Please Think of the Lawyers?

    1. Ted S.   10 years ago

      They can all die in a gutter.

      Ther, I thought of them.

    2. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      Check this out:

      "Based on federal sentencing guidelines, Kleinman faces about 24 years in prison without the possibility of parole.

      "Shemitz had offered him a plea deal before the trial that could have resulted in the minimum sentence of 10 years ? the same deal she made with [the defendant's former partner].

      "She didn't relish the outcome ? Kleinman was a father of two young children ? but she didn't second-guess her work."

      And concluding with this bit of unawareness:

      ""As a prosecutor, the thing we will not stand for is when someone doesn't take responsibility for what he does," she said after the trial concluded. "He's going to get a lot of time, and he should.""

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        un-self-awareness.

    3. Francisco d'Anconia   10 years ago

      Imagine a world with 80% fewer lawyers.

      Kinda gives you a warm feeling inside, doesn't it? The only thing better would be 90% fewer cops.

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        When you remind people that Dick Cheney shot a lawyer in the face and made him apologize for getting in the way, even the hardest liberal smiles.

  20. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    "Food nannies have fingered a new villain: pizza."

    Pizza, when done properly, can be healthy.

    I can't stand when they conflate greasy, gross, generic pizza with the REAL STUFF.

    Idiots.

    1. Matrix   10 years ago

      If they come after my pizzas, I will END them.

      'nuff said

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        BUT EXPERTS SAY IT'S BAD FOR US!!!!

    2. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      ^^THIS^^

      My caramelized onion, goat cheese and fresh rosemary pizza is tasty and healthy.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        I do the same thing - except I add crushed garlic and use fresh mozzarella.

        Either way, it's awesome isn't it?

      2. JEP   10 years ago

        Do you guys have a crust recipe? I've been messing around trying to find the right combo, but haven't hit it yet...

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   10 years ago

          I'm also looking for a good crust recipe if anyone has one!

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

            Email me.

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Do you use 'OO' pizza flour?

          Also, I tend to coat the crust with olive oil.

          What are you looking to get from the crust? I love when it's slightly burned/blackened from a wood oven.

          1. JEP   10 years ago

            What is 'OO' pizza flour?

            I think I'd be happy if I knew how to get a thin crust and a more traditional, puffy crust.

            Also, do you guys use yeast?

            1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

              It's an Italian-style, ultra-fine grind. I've never worked with it, but I've heard good things.

            2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

              http://www.foodnetwork.com/rec.....ecipe.html

            3. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

              The basic thick crust recipe that I use

              It's a decent base for starting out because it's about as simple as you can get. I like bumping the whole wheat flour to 2.5 or 3 cups, because a 1:2 wheat to white ratio gives good rise and chew.

              This recipe is like training wheels. You can do all sorts of fun stuff with it, but the real fun doesnt start until you pull the training wheels off.

              I use this recipe when I want to freeze a ton of dough for quick Friday night Pizza dinners.

              1. Marshall Gill   10 years ago

                The basic thick crust recipe that I use

                They were discussing pizza. What is this thing with "thick crust" to which you refer?

                1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

                  I just like enjoying my toppings on something more than a giant round matzos cracker.

        3. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

          I have an awesome crust recipe. It's from an Italian baking cookbook. I will try my best to bring it in and post it tomorrow, JEP. It's very simple (water yeast oil and salt, but I forget the exact amounts). I have never had better crust at any restaurant anywhere ever.

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

            I'll be looking for it.

            1. JEP   10 years ago

              Same.

              1. Riven   10 years ago

                /takes the next number

        4. G?C   10 years ago

          I started to write my wife's wonderful crust recipe, but it ended up getting way too long. I'll share the detailed instructions if anyone wants, but will probably do it via email - I'm entirely too long winded to post in the thread...

          Her recipe is as good, if not better, than any of the pizza we ate while living in Europe...

      3. CE   10 years ago

        Pepperoni, sausage, bacon, olives, green pepper, and extra cheese. I'm eating it, stop worrying about me or if my pizza is greasy.

    3. Slammer   10 years ago

      I fucking love greasy pizza.

      1. Riven   10 years ago

        I just love pizza.

        .

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   10 years ago

          Pizza is hands down my favourite food. I even like it more than poutine.

          1. Riven   10 years ago

            I've never had poutine, but pizza is also the highest ranking food on my list.

            1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

              I've never had poutine'

              Most distressing thing I've read all day!

            2. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

              Poutine is disgusting. It could only have been created by Canadians.

        2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

          WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT ALREADY

          /2nd grade

          1. Riven   10 years ago

            Maybe I will!

            /stomps off

          2. Irish   10 years ago

            "WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT ALREADY"

            Jesse, of all people I thought a gay man raised in an evangelical family would know better than to insult the sexual proclivities of others.

            There's nothing wrong with Riven's pizza-sexuality, you pizzaphobic shitlord.

            1. JEP   10 years ago

              The main problem in marrying pizza is that no one will bake you anything for the wedding.

            2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

              Stow your butthurt, Irish. Pizza has been waiting years for Riven to pop the question and she's been too chickenshit. I was exhorting her to put a ring on it.

              1. Riven   10 years ago

                Look, I'm just not ready for a long term commitment again so soon. Pizza understands that and accepts me the way I am.

                1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                  You say that now but Pizza's love grows stale. You may find it cheesy but Pizza gets sauced every night that it's left a crusty old bachelor.

                  1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

                    Maybe true for GAY pizza. Not for MANLY MAN CHICK-BANGING pizza!

                    1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                      Because women love nothing more than cramming something warm and yeasty into their nethers.

                    2. Riven   10 years ago

                      For a gay man, this is a surprisingly apt statement.

                    3. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

                      I can assure you that there is nothing in this world that my wife would rather cram into herself than pizza.

            3. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

              Pizza is the sacrament, which transubstantiates into the body of our Creator.

              Unless it's deep dish, in which case it just transmutes into turds.

              1. John Titor   10 years ago

                *Riven comes home one night to find pizza in bed with lasagna, their saucy goodness sprayed all over the sheets.*

                1. Riven   10 years ago

                  Sounds like the kind of storyline in which I'd also end up with amnesia in a day or so.

                  1. John Titor   10 years ago

                    No that's when you find out you're pregnant with the Pizza Devil, who in a twist is actually the product of a black mass by your orangutan roommate.

                    Christ I watched too much Passions stoned in university.

                2. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

                  Calzone! Take me away!

                  1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

                    Ancient Chinese secret, eh?

                  2. Riven   10 years ago

                    I lol'd

                3. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

                  Dear Penthouse Letters...

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        Greasy is good when done right.

        My brother in law's mother makes an incredible greasy pizza like a true-blue Neapolitan. It's fucking awesome.

    4. a better weapon   10 years ago

      Maybe I'll order pizza tonight. Any of you LA reasonoids have a good recommendation?

      We love Fresh Brothers, but its so expensive. Anything comparably good for cheaper?

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        In my area Pedone's or Valentino's is the way to go but they're fairly local.

        You need Los Doyers. The man has an encyclopedic knowledge of food in LA.

        1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

          Wait...we're calling him a "man" now?

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            This is why I need a professional copy-editor in my life, AND AN EDIT BUTTON.

            1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

              I can only help you with one of those things.

        2. Los Doyers   10 years ago

          Somebody summon me? How can I assist in your foodie adventures, a better weapon?

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            Do you lack a belly button, foodie genie?

            1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

              It'll cost you one wish to find out...

              1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                Hmm. I don't want to get Monkey's Paw'd. Why don't you come over and we'll discuss the formulation of this wish over drinks.

                *Digs out jug of rohypnol, labels it "bitters"*

  21. The Other Kevin   10 years ago

    I hear there will be some kind of speech on TV tonight, that nobody will be watching.

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      Hope... change... Hope... change... Hope... change... Hope... change...

      ... repeat ad nauseam.

      1. CatoTheElder   10 years ago

        Let me be clear, there are some who say _________.

        Hope ... change

  22. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    Kimmel finds people who don't know MLK:

    http://digg.com/video/jimmy-ki.....jr-is-dead

    Yeah. That's not good. Especially considering they have a vote.

    1. Ted S.   10 years ago

      People still use Digg?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        If by 'people' you mean me than no. I just googled and took the first link. Not gonna spend a second more than I need to for this.

    2. John Titor   10 years ago

      He's that guy who nailed that note to the church door right?

      1. JEP   10 years ago

        He's a junior, so he's that guy's son...

      2. Marshall Gill   10 years ago

        Oh, please, John, 90% of the population probably doesn't know anything about Luther. That was like, over a hundred years ago!

        1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

          Leave Lex Luthor out of this!

    3. CE   10 years ago

      Still climbing the mountain...

    4. Homple   10 years ago

      How could anybody who had experienced week's spell of sentience during the last 45 years in the USA not know who MLK was?

  23. GILMORE   10 years ago

    Seth Rogan Compares American Sniper film to Nazi Propaganda;

    Insists People Calling Him 'Asshole', 'Douchebag', 'Moron', etc. Are Like Totally Over-Reacting, So Like, Chill Dude

    Once again proving =

    Twitter: The Most Powerful Idiot-Amplification Device Ever Created

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      No. Sounds about right to me.

      He's acting like a complete, stupid CANADIAN douche.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        Oh, snap!

      2. Smilin' Joe Fission   10 years ago

        I like his hardcore back peddling after people start to call him out.

        "I just said something "kinda reminded" me of something else. I actually liked American Sniper. It just reminded me of the Tarantino scene."

        Bullshit. What a coward.

    2. John   10 years ago

      Rogan hasn't been in a hit in years. What kind of drugs was he using that caused him to think saying something that would piss off most of the American movie audience was a good idea?

      Rogan's movies suck and his days of getting leading parts are numbered as it is. Getting half to country to say "fuck him I will never go to one of his movies again" doesn't strike me as a smart career move. Worse, Rogan has no acting talent to speak of. So its not like he can fall back on making Indie movies. Those movies only hire has been movie stars who are actual actors.

      1. GILMORE   10 years ago

        "What kind of drugs was he using...

        It's called "Los Angeles"

        and it rots your brain

        1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

          Hurtful, GILMORE. Some of us flower in this adversity.

          1. GILMORE   10 years ago

            I was channeling Raymond Chandler

            "LA - a city like a heavily made-up old woman. Attractive as long as you're far enough away from it."

            To be fair - I've never really spent much time there at all. Downtown LA a half dozen times on business, a few trips to places around there. Malibu, Long Beach. Never any extended stay.

          2. John Titor   10 years ago

            Next you'll be telling me you love using the three seashells.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        Pineapple Express was good.

        Superbad too.

        1. John   10 years ago

          Those are both almost ten years old. And Suberbad was unwatchable. It was okay until after about ten minutes I just wanted to punch that obnoxious fat kid.

          1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

            You have shitty taste in movies.

            1. John   10 years ago

              No I don't. I wanted to like Super Bad. I thought it would be good. But it just sucked. You really want to die on the hill of a movie starring Micheal Cera is good? You really want to go there cytotixic?

              1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

                Yup. Superbad was supergood. The hell is wrong with Cera? He was in Arrested Development. Your taste is so bad I would not be surprised if you hated that too.

            2. Wasteland Wanderer   10 years ago

              Coming from you, that's a compliment.

              1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

                Nope. Stop that. My taste in movies (and much else) is near perfect.

                1. Wasteland Wanderer   10 years ago

                  You're a legend in your own mind, at least.

      3. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

        Well, the thing is that he was funny for all of 15 minutes. He's never really had much beyond his usual fat-guy stoner schtick. My impression is that he's been trying to compensate by being the funny guy for the social justice set.

      4. a better weapon   10 years ago

        Eh, he's probably strengthening his brand for the kind of people who see his movies anyways.

        I doubt anyone who sees American Sniper was ever interested in his movies in the first place.

      5. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

        Rogan [sic] hasn't been in a hit in years.

        Neighbors (2014) grossed $268 million on an $18 million budget; This is the End (2013) brought $126 on $32.

    3. Francisco d'Anconia   10 years ago

      So, is there a citation that actually has him comparing American Sniper film to Nazi Propaganda? Cuz that tweet certainly doesn't.

      1. mad.casual   10 years ago

        Yeah, I'm with you on this. He's totally innocent of intentionally implying similarity.

        Still, shoulda recognized he was going to stick his foot in his mouth or acknowledged that he did it rather than the usual, 12-yr.-old-esque, indignant, "Nuh-uh. Shutup!"

        1. Francisco d'Anconia   10 years ago

          If, as you say below, American Sniper is gushing with the tragedy of war and the abhorrence of violence, then I doubt he was talking about them both being propaganda films.

          Maybe he was referring to the level of violence?

          Sounds like people searching for something to be outraged about, to me.

      2. Dave C   10 years ago

        Indirectly.

      3. GILMORE   10 years ago

        "Cuz that tweet certainly doesn't."

        He was comparing American Sniper to the propaganda film shown in the last act of Inglorious Basterds

        I'm not saying that 'outrage' is justified, but he was absolutely comparing the Eastwood film to "footage of a Nazi sniper massacring piles of people"

        At the very least its an appallingly stupid comment

      4. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

        Yeah, maybe I'm just missing something since I haven't seen either movie, but I don't see the huge deal.

    4. mad.casual   10 years ago

      The funniest part is he couldn't be more obviously wrong, American Sniper is gushing with the tragedy of war and the abhorrence of violence.

      I suppose Rogan thought 'Death Of a Salesman' was about the joys of fatherhood?

      1. Marshall Gill   10 years ago

        I suppose Rogan thought 'Death Of a Salesman' was about the joys of fatherhood?

        It is comments like this one that keep me coming back to this horrible, wonderful place!

        Truly well done sir!

  24. The Bad Captain Madly   10 years ago

    Well, so long as the nationalists mix in a little socialism, what could go wrong?

    Perhaps the good folks of Europe have concluded there are worse fates than being ruled by National Socialists. Like being ruled by Enlightened Liberals, for instance. Can't say I entirely blame them.

    1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

      I can entirely blame them, as would any sane person.

  25. rts   10 years ago

    19th century boondoggles not just for California any more!

    High speed train proposed between Portland and Vancouver

    A group based in Portland is lobbying local governments for a high speed train that would connect the Cascadia region, from Vancouver to Portland.

    Perkins said it would take a public-private partnership to fund the train, and the first phase of construction would only run between Seattle and Portland, which would cost from $18 billion to $22 billion, according to Perkins.

    The second phase would continue the line into B.C.

    1. GILMORE   10 years ago

      OMG IF THEY LINK SAN FRANCISCO IT WILL BE LIKE A HIPSTER AORTA

      1. GILMORE   10 years ago

        naturally, it will fall apart in the planning process because i sincerely doubt there's anyone left who actually knows how to swing a hammer in those places

        Even the illegal immigrants have their own lifestyle blogs

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

          I also doubt they've heard of the Cascadia Subduction Zone.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      They want to link Canada and the USA?

      Isn't that asking for trouble?

      I can totally see fights between Canucks and Trail Blazers fans for no reason.

    3. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

      I've heard rumblings here of Dallas-Houston and Dallas-Austin high speed lines. What's with this push for trains? I love trains, but railroads have been a losing venture since the 50s

      1. John   10 years ago

        Progs like trains because they hate freedom. Seriously. Cars are messy and allow people to go whenever and wherever they want. Trains put everyone in a steel tube on an organized controlled schedule. This makes them irresistible to Progs.

        1. Not a Libertarian   10 years ago

          Well and of course the unionized workforce.

        2. Rhywun   10 years ago

          I'm not a prog and I like trains. In the right area, they are a good solution. Too bad they're only building boondoggles now.

          1. John   10 years ago

            I don't dislike trains. I just don't want to force people to pay for them. If trains can make money, great. I am sure you feel the same way.

            The progs don't care if they make money. They want people on trains and out of cars.

            1. Rhywun   10 years ago

              Fair enough - I just like to point out when you're laying it on a little thick.

        3. Juice   10 years ago

          Dagny Taggart is a total prog.

      2. rts   10 years ago

        Freight and cargo trains are still a solid business (I think).

        1. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

          Ugh, I heard a snippet of NPR this weekend in which they were interviewing this poor framer who couldn't get his government-subsidized corn to market because the trains were all hauling oil tankers. The upshot was that ever since the train industry was completely deregulated (they may not have said completely, but they sure acted as though that was the case) so many years ago, poor slobs like this guy were getting fucked so someone else could make a profit.

      3. kinnath   10 years ago

        What's with this push for trains?

        In very high-density population centers (Japan & Europe) they can be very effective for getting around.

        There ain't no place in the US that can support that kind of service. But progs view this as "moral" failure, not a demographics problem.

  26. GILMORE   10 years ago

    Salon shares stories of personal struggle =

    Black Girl Explains =

    My Sense of Racial Self-Importance is Overwhelming, and I Blame White People

    White Girl Explains =

    Men Keep Forcing Me to Hate them More and More

    1. Raston Bot   10 years ago

      white guy explains = don't care/fuck off

    2. Rich   10 years ago

      I met my new roommates on Craigslist. Two white, one Chinese. ... I was excited for the potential of cross-cultural exchange. We had a get-to-know you powwow on the rooftop.

      Emphasis added. RACIST!

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        Oh, it gets worse.

        "After arriving in New York, I became an intern at Essence, a magazine so safe I likened my boss to an aunt."

        So she's calling her boss an Aunt Jemima?

        And she says she's tired of suppressing her blackness, and she'd like to go and fry some chicken.

        But serious, even without the fried chicken, her self-imposed stress could give her a heart attack.

    3. Juice   10 years ago

      These articles are like little romance novels.

  27. Raston Bot   10 years ago

    Masterpiece Theatre doing a Wolf Hall series. Fuck yeah.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_Hall

    1. John   10 years ago

      That looks very good. Fuck yeah is right.

    2. Warty   10 years ago

      Cromwell was arraigned under a bill of attainder and executed for treason and heresy on Tower Hill on 28 July 1540. The King later expressed regret at the loss of his chief minister.

      Kings are funny creatures.

      1. John   10 years ago

        Cromwell was the bag man for whacking Ann Boleyn. He is a real example of live by the sword die by the sword.

        1. Warty   10 years ago

          History is a bad imitation of a Martin Scorsese movie.

      2. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        Henry VIII did that a lot - he wakes up one morning with a hangover and a recollection of arguing with his wife or his old friend. Then he goes to find the person and apologize, only to learn, "you Majesty, you had him/her beheaded." And Henry is like, "I hate it when that happens!"

        1. John   10 years ago

          Mostly, he whacked anyone who could point out that the Tudors were carpet bagging Welsh Usurpers and cattle thieves with no claim to the thrown.

          1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

            Sure, but he also found time to hire the executioner to give him two quickie royal divorces. No child-support payments or anything!

            1. John   10 years ago

              Queens and princesses are in the business of producing male heirs. If they can't do their jobs, they shouldn't take the crown.

              1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                Back then, how would they know in advance?

                1. John   10 years ago

                  It was a hard life back then. But hey, the future of the kingdom depended on a male heir.

                  1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                    Well, I don't particularly like Queen Elizabeth, but she was basically as good as a male Protestant in similar circumstances.

              2. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

                Except it's not at all clear that the women were the problem.

          2. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

            To be fair, you kind of have to do this if you're king. That guy calling you a usurper has a good chance of wanting to be the next usurper.

      3. John Titor   10 years ago

        The Duke of Norfolk and other nobles who were enemies of Cromwell basically managed to convince the king that the lousy commoner in their mist was a traitor. Henry later realized that Cromwell was a hell of a lot more competent than most of the people damning him.

        1. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

          Of course, there's not a lot of reason to believe that Cromwell was particularly more competent than Thomas Moore. So, live by the sword die by the sword, I guess.

    3. John Titor   10 years ago

      Dammit Mantel make that third book already! Cromwell's not going to chop his own head off!

  28. LynchPin1477   10 years ago

    fingered a new villain: pizza

    YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      Soon, pizza will send out for YOU!

  29. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

    Video: Some Americans Think Martin Luther King Just Died

    First African-American to walk on the moon?

    Almost three decades after Americans first observed Martin Luther King Day, some beachgoers in San Diego believe that the civil rights leader only just died, with others thinking that King was the first African-American to walk on the moon.

    http://www.infowars.com/video-.....just-died/

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      "How are you celebrating the King holiday?"

      "I'm reading Cujo and Christine, some of King's best work."

      1. Riven   10 years ago

        Not The Stand?

        Eh, I guess it's a little long for just one day.

        1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

          Eh, the TV series was good.

          But the novels from the 70s are really the cream of the crop.

  30. Matrix   10 years ago

    Paris Mayor says she will sue Fox News

    because they said that there are "no-go zones" in Paris, because those areas are highly populated by Muslims who aren't friendly to non-Muslims.

    Even UK Prime Minister David Cameron took exception to claims about Birmingham, England being labeled as such. I asked a friend over there in England about it. She said that Birmingham is like 85% Muslim or Indian, and she gets harasssed when she visits. So, Cameron may not like to hear the truth.

    1. rts   10 years ago

      I lived in Birmingham for 4 years. It is not 85% Muslim or Indian. Nobody harassed me.

      The real reason it's a no-go zone is because there's just fuck all there, especially considering it's the UK's "second city".

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      They really are scary, scary these meek politicians.

    3. John   10 years ago

      Even UK Prime Minister David Cameron took exception to claims about Birmingham, England being labeled as such.

      What a tea bagging lie. Next they will be saying there are Muslim adolescent girl rape rings that the authorities refuse to do anything about. I mean, such a thing is impossible right?

  31. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    For you pizza enthusiasts. Montreal style pizza with smoked meat. I made it not too long ago and it was a blast to eat. Yeah, it breaks the Neapolitan code but meh. I'm a fucking Molisana-Calabrese:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JB_QmcB05A

    1. Riven   10 years ago

      I would straight wreck that.

    2. Smilin' Joe Fission   10 years ago

      Looks delicious Harry... I mean Rufus...

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        That's how I always pictured him

    3. John   10 years ago

      Anything with smoked meat can't be too bad. And they do bagels up there. They should be able to do good pizza dough.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        Montreal has its hot spots for sure.

    4. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      Mediocre.

    5. MJGreen   10 years ago

      Shouldn't it have mayo or something on it? Is Montreal known for their salted cured meats?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        Mayo on smoked meat?

        Gross.

        Mustard, cole slaw, pickles. Any combo of each.

  32. See Double You   10 years ago

    Uncle Joe does it again!

    The second time she met Biden, he told her: "Well, you have beautiful eyes, Miss Orr," she recalled.

    That's a little...creepy.

    1. Ted S.   10 years ago

      She should have responded, "All the better to see you with."

  33. Not a Libertarian   10 years ago

    Reason columnists and commentators are being generally dismissive of even the idea of a State of the Union Address

    But in purely political terms, how can it not assist the President?

    He will advance all manner of populist left wing measures that while are completely out of the question in this congress, will undoubtedly be popular.

    The majority are always in favor of taxing...other people... to their own benefit.

    The narrative of a "fighting President" that is "Back in his stride" is irresistible to the Press.

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      But in purely political terms, how can it not assist the President?

      Of course, organized theatrics like the SOTU will enhance the cult of the presidency.

      It is good that there are people who see this, and dismiss such nonsense.

    2. CE   10 years ago

      The "populist left wing measures" are not popular at all. No one I know wants higher taxes.

  34. R C Dean   10 years ago

    the nice folks at ISIS say they'll kill two Japanese hostages unless the government in Tokyo coughs up $200 million.

    Would they accept an express delivery of $200mm worth of high explosives?

    1. John   10 years ago

      Let the Japanese go Japanese on their sorry asses. The US had gotten a bit fat dumb and lazy fighting these savages and forgotten that there are some real war like people out there. The Japanese are one of them or used to be. I imagine they could be again.

      1. CE   10 years ago

        Be careful what you wish for.

  35. MJGreen   10 years ago

    Not sure if this has been posted, but these are words actually said by a protestor at Vanderbilt:

    What I'm really trying to show her is that she can't continue to say these kinds of things on a campus that's so liberal and diverse and tolerant.

    Link at Instapundit. Some times it does feel like activists are just trolling.

  36. PapayaSF   10 years ago

    A Facebook friend is already ranting about the GOP response to the State of the Union. "It's not a 'pre-buttal,' it's an attack! And don't they want to help the poor? Did they learn nothing from the Depression??" Yeah, we learned that government welfare is expensive and often makes things worse. Not that I'm going to try to explain it to her....

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      Just update your FB profile picture to an AK-47 and/or a religious book of your choice. (with the exception of the Koran, which is subject to a multiculturalism exception to liberal outrage.)

  37. GILMORE   10 years ago

    Israel to Iran =

    Dude... We're like so sorry we killed your Military Leader.... when we bombed those terrorists in Syria... wow, what a terrible coincidence...must have just been passing by, right?

    Iran Not Happy With Apology

    " "These martyrdoms proved the need to stick with jihad. The Zionists must await ruinous thunderbolts," "

    because, like, 30 years of Funding Hezbollah? That was just foreplay.

    1. GILMORE   10 years ago

      Also = re: the 'Ruinous Thunderbolts', Iran?

      Israel Already Has Those

      Israel/Iranian relations sometimes remind me of this scene; naturally with the Israelis in the Wyatt Erp role

      1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

        The Daily Mail had a story claiming that some Israeli general thinks Hezbollah and Iran are gearing up to invade the Galilee. Yeah...I don't see that happening. They have this 'Syria' problem right now.

  38. John   10 years ago

    http://io9.com/80-of-americans.....socialflow

    Words fail.

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      Dr Lizardo misses SerenadaRobbie Gonzalez
      Sunday 11:22am

      I think that they didn't just prove that 80% of Americans are scientifically illiterate; we sort of knew that already and Somin gives a competent defense of it. What they really proved is that it is easy to manipulate people who don't know jack about a topic to make them believe whatever the hell you want to believe and that is much, much more frightening. Because then we ask those people who have no clue what they are talking about to make binding decisions about the very things they know nothing about, so the decision is influenced more by PR firms than facts.

      I wonder how this dude votes.

      1. John   10 years ago

        Yeah. And I am sure he is quite an expert on the evils of global warming, vaccines and GMOs. I bet that guy is all about the science.

        1. Not a Libertarian   10 years ago

          Lizardo is the prime io9 commenter

          1. John   10 years ago

            Okay? I don't know what that means.

            1. Not a Libertarian   10 years ago

              He might not necessarily be the most prolific commenter on i09 but his views are the distillation of the opinions there.

              So yes, he holds all of the "correct" views on climate change.

              Although I do think he actually does espouse responsible views on vaccines and GMOs.

              1. John   10 years ago

                What a sorry existence it must be to "hold all of the correct" views on any website. Seriously, what is the point if you can't gore a few sacred cows once in a while?

                1. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

                  With the in crowd, he's the innest.

    2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

      This is why I only eat inorganic matter. I prefer my nutrition silica rather than carbon based.

      1. Not a Libertarian   10 years ago

        So which Cylon model are you?

        1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

          Tyrol ended up a Cylon, right? Probably him. Short, squat, brooding and prone to poor decision making.

          1. Not a Libertarian   10 years ago

            MARRY, FUCK, KILL: the seven models?

            Go!

    3. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

      I'm a member of a few gardening Facebook groups, and a guy posted that study on one of them. The butthurt from the "organic non-GMO heirloom natural" crowd was enough to require a tanker truck of Preparation H.

      Of course, these are the same idiots asking if their tomato and kale seeds are GMO free. (they all are because genetically modifying a plant is fucking expensive)

    4. John Titor   10 years ago

      Eh, this goes back to all those fake 'ban dihydrogen monoxide' petitions. Just general scientific ignorance and a fear of 'chemicals' pushed by naturalist movements.

  39. John   10 years ago

    Someone please troll Jezebel with this.

    In an experiment that involved sending out more than 2,500 resumes either with or without photos of the applicant, economics researchers Bradley Ruffle at Ben-Gurion University and Ze'ev Shtudiner at Ariel University Centre sought to answer the question of whether being good looking could help you find a job. The answer surprised them: Not if you're a woman. Pretty women faced an uphill struggle to get a chance at a job.

    The economists hadn't reckoned on the fact that 93 percent of the HR staffers deciding whether to call in someone for an interview were female. It turns out that HR women (who also tend to be young and single and hence still in the dating market for men) are eager to meet with handsome men. But they're jealous of beautiful women. So your business is losing out on talented people (and wasting time with untalented ones) based on their looks.

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/ky.....partments/

    1. Matrix   10 years ago

      But, see, it's actually the Patriarchy to blame. You just can't see that because you're a male oppressor. The HR women are oppressed by the Patriarchy because men just aren't readily available at all times for her needs and won't devote their total attention only to her. So she cannot let her competition get hired.

      1. John   10 years ago

        The most privileged group of people in society are, young attractive, educated white women. They rule over all. The most oppressed and disadvantaged group are nerdy guys, old broads and fat women.

        Feminism is nothing but an ideology whose single purpose is to ensure that never changes.

        1. Riven   10 years ago

          Life is much easier when you're a young, pretty, white woman. Being educated is just icing on the privileged cake.

          1. John   10 years ago

            My mother said that people held her age against her much more than they ever held her being a woman against her. And she was very much a middle class attractive young white woman in her day. So she saw the privilege and lost it when she got older. I remember she used to say in response to feminists screaming about Playboy that they were just angry they were too homely to ever get invited to pose.

            1. Riven   10 years ago

              On one hand, it is nice to be working in a male dominated industry because there's only very few other women. Granted, they're all going to hate each other, but at least there aren't that many.

              On the other hand, I get called "Honey" and "Sweetie" so frequently you'd think it was my name.

              1. John   10 years ago

                You are a woman right? Wow. I honestly have never heard a man do that at work. Seriously. I only have ever heard such names used by middle aged or older southern black women when talking to men.

                1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

                  Or any race of woman over 40 in Texas.

                2. Riven   10 years ago

                  Eh. It's just one the fringe benefits of working in construction/mining/ag equipment, I guess. I'll take "honey" to "girl," which was incredibly common during the 8 months I did live in the south.

                  1. Riven   10 years ago

                    Oh! One thing that I do find hilarious is the habitual swearing. It's never bothered me and I've never complained, but if I'm around and one of our sales guys lets loose a four-letter word, he'll apologize to me specifically

              2. Clich? Bandit   10 years ago

                Stop dressing like a hooker then!

                You know it is those jumpers and sweaters you wear you hussie.

            2. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

              I have a dear friend who earned an MBA from a pestegious school and was homecoming queen. Met her whe she was 22. Tall, blonde, OMG! We'd walk through the skyways to go to lunch and every fucking head would turn. Every head. It was the weirdest thing to experience. She's now in her forties and while still attractive (and very successful) that no longer happens. She has to notice.

              1. John   10 years ago

                Some middle aged journalist wrote in response to the cat calling video that the woman in it needs to check her youth privilege, since the biggest fear expressed by women over 40 is being sexually invisible to men.

    2. JEP   10 years ago

      As a male in a typically male dominated field, finding out the talent acquisition people are cock blocking you is depressing news.

      1. John   10 years ago

        And undoubtedly true. Have you ever seen the kind of clam bakes HR departments are?

        You are getting the fucking moron who looks good instead of someone who can actually do the job.

        1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

          At my company, they are middle-aged, obese women. And they tend to hire middle-aged, obese women.

          1. John   10 years ago

            Jesus, that is even worse.

            1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

              The kicker (we have about 10,000 emplotees) is that for heathcare, the company sef-insures, so it's really a bad move financially for HR to keep doing that.

              1. Clich? Bandit   10 years ago

                EAP, you feel ok? Can you recite the alphabet for me?

  40. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

    This proposition just *lost* in an Oxford Union debate:

    "Hamas is a greater obstacle to peace than Israel."

    http://humanevents.com/2015/01.....niversity/

    1. John   10 years ago

      Apparently Oxford is now dumber than even Oberlein.

    2. PapayaSF   10 years ago

      Idiots.

    3. John   10 years ago

      I am actually someone was allowed to argue the Israeli side without being arrested for hate speech. Does the Oxford Union know that they facilitated the criminal act of criticizing Muslims and defending Jews?

  41. PapayaSF   10 years ago

    How many nightclubs celebrate the MLK holiday. Fight for your right to par-tay!

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      "yall hoes come thru and dont tell coretta"

      At least it's tasteful.

    2. Slammer   10 years ago

      The Truckstop Wednesday's one in Florida sounds fun, though.

  42. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

    Honduras to Unveil First ZEDE in March

    http://panampost.com/panam-sta.....-in-march/

  43. Not a Libertarian   10 years ago

    Free Drinks for Ladies at Last, Thank God Almighty we have Free Drinks for Ladies at Last!

  44. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

    Nostalgia Critic calls out The Matrix for being the outdated overrated movie it is; comments section goes nuts with literally hundreds (judging from the dislike bar) of butthurt Matrix fans who apparently are the whiniest cunts on Earth.

    1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQHCEUvc4Q0

    2. John   10 years ago

      It is all of that and more. It is the most rediculous movie. First, the idea that the world is some illusion and not real is not exactly new, yet Matrix fans somehow missed the memo on that and thought it was the most amazingly original idea ever!!

      Lets not even get into the plot holes or why a race of super intelligent machines wouldn't just kill all of the humans and get their power from nuclear or fossil fuels or something. No man, we cut off all of their solar power by blocking the sun. yeah, because solar is the wave of the future.

      God what a stupid fucking movie.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        Sure, and it was fun. Until they did the sequels.

        1. John   10 years ago

          It was fun. The problem was its fans didn't quite understand that is all it was.

          1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

            Equilibrium did it better.

            1. CE   10 years ago

              Equilibrium gets closer to the truth every year. Never thought they would really ban light bulbs.

              1. Wasteland Wanderer   10 years ago

                It's like statists watch dystopian films for tips.

        2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

          Reloaded was not that bad. Revolutions OTOH...

          1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

            Reloaded actually had some cool ideas that made sense, like the old repurposed killer programs (albino twins). Too bad that got overshadowed by 'symbolism' bullshit which is always the LCD of art.

            1. JEP   10 years ago

              I liked the parallels between computer programs and mythology. The first movie didn't really get into that kind of thing.

              Like the thug that the French program's wife killed in the library to get to the key maker...he was notoriously difficult to kill, but she kept a silver bullet in her gun implying he was werewolf.

          2. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

            Here's Reloaded's redeeming feature:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8OZpmIWcxg

            1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

              Best sequence of the series.

      2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

        Using humans for an energy source isn't just stupid, it's a thermodynamics FAIL. We CONVERT energy we don't generate it.

        A much better idea would be if the robots wanted to study our brains and minds to come up with much better computers (our brains are the best computers) and so hooked people up to a network, AND The Matrix was a product of everyone's collective dreaming. We wouldn't just be in The Matrix, but we would be The Matrix.

        1. Irish   10 years ago

          "We wouldn't just be in The Matrix, but we would be The Matrix."

          *Cytotoxic hits bong, explains his theory of the universal overmind*

          1. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

            "In fact, when The Matrix first came out, it seemed like the single crummiest, laziest, most awful dim-witted idea in the entire history of science fiction. But it turned out to be true!"

          2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

            LOL. I mean if you link up a bunch of minds and let them fill up the virtual world with whatever they think of, like the dreamworld of Inception. Now there's a movie that will never age and deserves every quantum of praise it gets. HAIL NOLAN

            1. Warty   10 years ago

              Inception was so terrible and boring that I fell asleep during it.

              1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

                Get out.

        2. John   10 years ago

          Yeah, there is that whole conservation of energy thing. We can only generate as much energy as we take in.

          Yeah, it was really retarded.

          1. CE   10 years ago

            Yeah, but we can convert pizza to energy, and pizza is worthless to machines. Unless they need the oil or something.

        3. PapayaSF   10 years ago

          Using humans for an energy source isn't just stupid

          To be fair, this was not the original idea, which was that the Matrix was created by using all those human brains as distributed processors. Which would make sense. The use of them for "energy" was imposed on the filmmakers by the money people, who thought nobody would understand the original idea.

      3. MJGreen   10 years ago

        It doesn't matter if an idea is not new, so long as it's explored in an interesting way or the movie is fun. I'd say the first Matrix movie is both. It's not high art, but it's pretty slick and moves along quite well. There are times when you may think it wants you to take it seriously, and then there's some bonkers moment that reminds you to just have fun.

        That said, it is pretty dated and certainly has an audience that rates it way too highly. It feels very much of its time. Whereas, for example, The AV Club today did a small piece on The Last of the Mohicans, which came out years before The Matrix but doesn't feel similarly dated.

        1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

          moves along quite well.

          I found the pacing to be pretty uneven.

          1. MJGreen   10 years ago

            I used to think that, but I started watching it on TV last year and was surprised at how quickly it moved. I think my memory was inflating how long certain scenes were; visiting the Oracle and all that wasn't as slow as I had remembered. Considering how much it has to establish, I think it's paced well, relative to a lot of other action films.

            1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

              You know the TV version can have parts cut out right?

              1. MJGreen   10 years ago

                It was HBO, I think. It may still have been edited down, but I doubt it was anything substantial.

      4. lap83   10 years ago

        I think The Matrix is like the movie equivalent of The Catcher in the Rye, so it's most popular among 15 year old boys who have finally discovered a form of the medium made by someone as immature and obnoxious as they are. It turns into an instant favorite.

        1. lap83   10 years ago

          Also, a favorite among men who have the artistic tastes of 15 year old boys. I've actually heard some full grown men, who should know better, assert that The Matrix was a better action movie than Heat. Fucking Heat.

          1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

            I am going to choose to believe that this statement is not true.

    3. Irish   10 years ago

      The greatest butthurt:

      "Doug you are fuckin pathetic man

      Despite of me being a huge Matrix fan the fact remains that you're trying way too hard to make the movie look bad when I'm sure many of the movies you enjoy have become dated, cliched and downright silly.

      Aging happens to all movies dude and even then many of your critiques and jokes are really minor in comparison to the overall experience which is subverted by the movies presentation, you can apply plot holes and inconsistencies to practically any movie and make it look bad, and you have failed in doing that here simply because of the fact that the movie does an adequate in explaining the concepts of the matrix.

      And as for your point about the reason why the matrix was designed the way it was as opposed to a dreamlike reality was outright stated in the scene where Smith interrogated Morpheus in which he said That the matrix at one point was designed to be a paradise however no human would accept the program because the human mind could perceive the concept of paradise to be unrealistic.

      Look I'm fine that you dislike the matrix and that's fine, but going out of your way to make the movie look worse than it actually is does nothing more than further cement your bias as opposed to a critics perspective (and I am well aware that Doug critiques for KOMEDY AND TEH LAWLZERS but regardless it's just bad reviewer form even for the sake of comedy.)?"

      1. John   10 years ago

        You leave the Matrix alone!!

        That whole post is kind of a cry for help.

      2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

        That comments section makes me want a New Holocaust for Youtube commenters.

      3. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

        "Aging happens to all movies dude"

        Not The Outlaw Jose Wales, dude.

        1. John   10 years ago

          Or The Manchurian Candidate or about a hundred other actually great movies.

        2. Irish   10 years ago

          Bonnie and Clyde has aged well.

          Casablanca has aged well.

          Everything by Kurosawa has aged well.

          That's because all those things are awesome whereas the Matrix is overrated.

          1. JEP   10 years ago

            Casablanca should be required viewing for everyone in high school or before.

            For the mere number of references that are made to it on a daily basis.

            Here's lookin' at you, kid.
            Papers, please?
            Round up the usual suspects.
            Play it again, Sam.
            etc, etc,

            1. Irish   10 years ago

              Everyone on Earth should watch Kurosawa's Ran.

              That is all.

          2. John Titor   10 years ago

            I like to compare 80s The Thing movie to the modern one when I'm talking about 'aging well'. 80s The Thing ages well because the special effects were solid but also well shot by Carpenter to cover up their flaws. The new Thing throws its CGI right in your face and makes it look out of date within a year. A lot of the tricks to 'aging well' is just being subtle.

            1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

              I agree wholeheartedly. Carpenter's The Thing is still fantastic, and not just because of Kurt Russel's hat. And beard. And jacket. And the guy tied to the chair...and a stache-less Brimley!

        3. sasob   10 years ago

          Or The Sand Pebbles.

    4. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

      I like The Matrix but almost all of Doug's criticisms are spot on and yeah it's not that great. Dem fanboys though...

  45. Loki   10 years ago

    That's some great alt-text. 5/5.

  46. Warty   10 years ago

    Crossfit!

    Crossfit!

    1. GILMORE   10 years ago

      What the fuck are those people doing?

  47. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

    U of M student robbed by mob of 15 to 20 women

    http://www.myfoxtwincities.com.....b-of-women

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      Oh, the victim was a woman, too. That story just got 90% less interesting.

    2. GILMORE   10 years ago

      "of M"

      Michigan
      Maryland
      Montana
      Mississippi
      Massachusetts
      Maine
      Missouri

      ...oh, Minnesota

      1. cavalier973   10 years ago

        You forgot Memphis, you chowderhead.

        1. GILMORE   10 years ago

          Chowderhead?

          Dear sir, I Am A New Yorker. The five words that make one the envy of the world*

          I am not from Cape Cod.

          also - its "Chowdah" Say it right!

          *(this is a reference to a speech Rudy Guliani once made which i can no longer find but is probably in here somewhere)

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          U of M? Montreal?

  48. cavalier973   10 years ago

    Pope Francis is gaining a reputation as the Joe Biden of the Roman Catholic Church.

    Pope: "I'm told Chuck Graham, state senator, is here. Stand up Chuck, let 'em see you."

    Chuck Graham (standing up): "It's a miracle, Your Holiness!!"

    Pope: "Oh, God love you. What am I talking about."

  49. jdgalt   10 years ago

    On the contrary, Reason folk. It's about time that religions, and especially the world's biggest one, accepted the fact that people will never again take seriously a command to refrain from sex outside marriage, and replaced that demand with the more sensible one, that no one should produce offspring he or she can't support.

    30% of all US births are now in this category, and you can bet those children will grow up to do the same, if we the taxpayers continue to subsidize that behavior. Their parents are setting bad examples.

    I say, abolish AFDC/TANF (or at least make it truly temporary) at once, and put affected children into foster care instead. That way they'll grow up to be productive citizens and not a permanent burden.

    1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

      It's about time that religions, and especially the world's biggest one, accepted the fact that people will never again take seriously a command to refrain from sex outside marriage, and replaced that demand with the more sensible one, that no one should produce offspring he or she can't support.

      1) religion and pragmatism generally don't belong in the same sentence

      2) one could argue that the whole traditional marriage thing was set up at least somewhat for this reason. Of course, super cheap, universal birth control was unfathomable until about 75 years ago, so they didn't have much of a choice.

      3) 1 Timothy 5:8 - If you don't take care of your family, you're worse than an unbeliever.

      4) religion has very little influence on the actions of cultures anymore (at least in western nations). Even religious adherents are lukewarm about the rules and lifestyle.

      Indigent children are caused by many factors, but religion? Not nearly as much as a thousand other factors.

  50. db   10 years ago

    I will definitely not be watching any addresses on TV of any sort tonight. Let me know if anyone says anything in any way lacking demagoguery.

    1. cavalier973   10 years ago

      Does "My fellow Americans" count?

      1. GILMORE   10 years ago

        I heard he replaced that with,

        "KNEEL, PETTY MORTALS!! FOR YOUR GOD NOW SPEAKS TO YOU"

        tho i dont plan to watch.

        1. Zeb   10 years ago

          "WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM!"

  51. userve32   10 years ago

    There is a dude that knows whats up man.

    http://www.BestAnon.tk

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