On The Independents: The Charlie Hebdo Massacre, Plus Katherine Mangu-Ward, John Tierney, Michael Weiss, Tim Carney, Driverless Cars, Green Nukes, Pot PSAs, and a New Enemy of Freedom


Lyon represent. |||

Tonight's episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network, 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, repeats three hours later), unsurprisingly, focuses on the deliberate assassination of a dozen Parisian satirists by Islamic murderers, and the broader free-speech issues that highlights. Talking about it will be the Party Panel of beloved Reason Managing Editor Katherine Mangu-Ward and New York Times Science Correspondent John Tierney, as well as The Interpreter's Michael Weiss. There will also be relevant Enemy of Freedom named.

Tim Carney of the Washington Examiner will talk about all the exciting corporate welfare we can expect from the new GOP-led Congress. Mashable correspondent Lance Ulanoff will talk about cruising in a driverless car. The Party Panel will weigh in on nuclear energy and kinder, gentler pot PSAs. And the Topical Storm will rain down something special in your chimney….

Follow The Independents on Facebook at facebook.com/IndependentsFBN, follow on Twitter @ independentsFBN, hashtag us at #TheIndependents, and click on this page for more video of past segments.

NEXT: UPDATE: Three Suspects in Charlie Hebdo Shooting Identified, One May Have Surrendered Himself

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  1. Weiss is back? Aw, come on. Show repeats until Fox and Dish hammer out their differences.

    I say everyone boycott the show until I can watch again. WHO’S WITH ME?

    1. I don’t watch it anyway, does that count as a boycott?

    2. It was a good run while it lasted.

      We’ll always have…Matt.

    3. I have it set to record later. May or may not watch it.

  2. New enemy of freedom? I thought Boehner was RE-elected as speaker.

  3. I’m getting an ad for an app that reminds you that you left your toddler in your car.
    If you’re that scatterbrained, maybe you shouldn’t have kids. I mean, you have to remember to feed ’em, too.
    Anyhow, I’ve never watched the show either.

  4. Just got this from a friend. Do the Brits ever stop trying to bring Orwell’s books to life?


    1. They also just arrested a kid for making a video of burning the Koran.

    2. Andrew Allison, of the Freedom Association pressure group, said: “To prevent people from leaving the UK in this way is a misuse of legislation that is supposed to target dangerous criminals. This should stop now. The TV licence is a tax on watching live TV, irrespective of whether or not you watch the BBC. The Government should pass legislation to decriminalise non-payment of the fee and then move to scrap the fee altogether.”

      *** rising intotation ***
      Guess who’s going to be “inconvenienced”?

      Yet another reason to never set foot in the UK.

  5. It occurs to me that what makes Islam so dangerous on so many levels is that it is, in essence, running a Good Cop/Bad Cop routine on the world. The Good Cop Muslims tell us that most Muslims aren’t violent, the Koran doesn’t really mean what it says, don’t be prejudiced haters, etc. We should just be reasonable and cooperate, or those Bad Cop Muslims (the terrorists and their supporters) will be in charge.

    But you know what? Even if Bad Cop Muslims kill a lot of Good Cop Muslims, they’re both cops on the same team.

      1. Hmmmm

        In October 2006, it ended Porky’s (1982) 24-year reign as the highest grossing Canadian movie at the Canadian box office. In turn, its own reign was later ended by Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

    1. The problem with your analogy is that, unlike muslims, there are no good cops.

      1. Just wanted an excuse to insert that. I saw bad cop, good cop and ran with it.

    2. the Koran doesn’t really mean what it says,

      To be fair, neither does the Bible, apparently.

      1. Un-huh.

        And Wagner is better than he sounds.

      2. The Bible and the Koran are very different animals. The Bible was written by dozens of people in a handful of languages over hundreds of years, all “inspired” by God. Few read it in the original languages, and there’s a lot of room for interpretation.

        OTOH, the Koran was (supposedly) dictated by Allah, who speaks archaic Arabic, and who has the master copy in Heaven. To be a Muslim, you must believe that. There is very, very little room for interpretation.

        1. Good point. Also Mohammed was a major vindictive asshole. Muslim is much more of a cult of personality. (which might be why liberals like it so much)

          1. I think they like it only because it’s anti-Western civilization. “The enemy of my enemy….”

          2. Mohamed ordered the deaths of people who mocked him and his teachings.


            Seems like a relevant point that people should know.

    3. A horrible event in Paris.

      Sadly, such a brutal massacre was/is necessary for people without the aptitude for abstract thought to grasp reality.

      Now, the evil and violence are abundantly clear to millions. It is irrefutable and undeniable.

      Millions have had an instant illumination of the choices: Liberty/Freedom/Rights or Ignorance/violence/repression.

      Are more such violent acts necessary to awaken the sleepers? Yes, and they will surely come.

      For now, a giant alarm clock went off in Paris.

      1. I’m waiting for them to get around to making it America’s fault so they can put their collective heads back in the sand.

        1. It’s possible, but it is so clearly a direct tit for tat: Blasphemy = Death, that it will be hard to connect it to anything else. This is straight up hardcore Islam meets Enlightenment.

  6. Report on CA ‘happy chickens’ law, Whole Foods division:
    Non-compliant eggs(still available): $2.99/half doz.
    Compliant eggs: $4.99/half doz.
    Looks like Alice Waters got her wish; poor people can eat cake.

    1. What if I want eggs of a different mood?

      1. You’ll probably have to pay for the therapy, but do they really want to change?

        1. I want my egg providing chickens bitch slapped.

          1. You’ll have to go out of state!

          2. You know who else like to abuse the chicken?…

            1. Officer Barbrady?

            2. Lord Foul?

    2. Non-compliant eggs

      Nice (girl) band name.

    3. I had not heard about that law. My oldest daughter is vegan because of animal treatment. My wife will get eggs from a source where the chickens are raised running free on a farm and my daughter will eat those if she comes over and we have them. My wife calls them happy chicken eggs. We only get them for her when she comes for a holiday.

      1. Someone needs to go and look up what Vegan means. I’m pretty sure eating the unfertilized egg of a living creature is supposed to be ‘against the rules’ no matter how nice you were to the Mommy.

        1. Rules are for losers.

          1. +1 EGG REBEL

        2. A lot of people confuse “vegan” (which carries a host of “moral” considerations, like not eating honey because the bees are enslaved, and so on) with “vegetarian” which does not necessarily have a moral component, but means “does not eat animal products or flesh”, all the way to “ovo-lacto vegetarian” which is what most people who you know as vegetarians are; they will eat eggs and dairy, pretty much anything but animal flesh itself. Some even eat fish.

          True vegans are ULTRA-RESTRICTIVE, down to not eating processed flours and sugars or wearing any animal products (including silk because it comes from insects) or eating honey and a host of other things.

          1. She doesn’t eat honey nor butter which is pretty brutal considering everything that is made with butter. Those eggs are basically her only “cheat” food which she gets a couple times a year. She will do flour and sugar. I had never even heard of that. That’s bizarre.

            1. When I was a teenager I worked in a health food store and it was bought from the old owners by a serious vegan couple. They did it all. The sugars and flours just couldn’t be overly processed (basically they wouldn’t eat bleached flour or sugar because of the bleaching process), and anything that had to do with animals was right out, from clothing to food to products, and that included insects. I’m trying to remember if they would even eat soy cheese because of the microbes. I think they would, because that would be too insane, even for them.

              It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten all their rules, but it was a mix of “morality” (killing and enslaving animals is wrong), health-foodism (bleaching processes aren’t good for you), and straight up vegetarianism. It was hugely restrictive though, obviously. And I had to learn it all, because I would sometimes prepare food for all of us and also I would ask why we no longer carried certain products.

              They weren’t terrible businesspeople, though. They got rid of all the meat in the store but weren’t so stupid as to get rid of dairy or stuff with bleached flours and sugars. That would have been business suicide.

              1. So fruits, veggies, nuts, legumes, and tree bark basically.

              2. Health food stores smell funny.

                At least the old-school ones. Like Seaweed farts. Or some kind of curd.

                One of my first gigs in consulting was for a consortium of companies that make soymilk (this was way back before it was even like a widely available thing – like 1996 or so) – I even remember who they were… White Wave, Pacific Foods of Oregon, Vitasoy (hong kong), and Blue Diamond (who was investing in the area) = they hired my company to do a bunch of strategic research into the category. I ended up spending a lot of time traveling and visiting health food store operators and surveying consumers and asking them about how they used the stuff and why, etc.

                I’d always buy something in every store just to be nice and seem like I was ‘groovy’ too. more than half the time i tried the item then threw the rest out because it was appalling. Every now and then i’d be pleasantly surprised.

            2. So, eggs = OK, but Butter = No-no?

              She’ll eat a (#*@$# proto-fetus, but not ‘milk derivatives’, which are actually the ONLY ‘animal byproduct’ *biologically intended for consumption and which nurses baby children*

              RULES R4 LOOSERS Indeed

              1. Because she doesn’t think cows are properly treated. That’s her whole deal. Shes young.

                1. It’s not like shes some vegan monk activist who subscribes to vegan times. Shes a kid trying to follow her conscience the best she knows how. Kinda like how I don’t shots except when I do shots. So yeah we’re not zealots.

                2. No i get it, and i wasn’t passing judgement.

                  I was just thinking that maybe she hasn’t really researched the thing through enough to determine that eating “scrambled, unfertilized amniotic sac” is probably an order of magnitude closer to “actual living-creature-ish” than consuming derivatives of ‘cows milk’, which pretty much has to come out one way or the other, which is biologically intended to be consumed by mammals, and that cows suffer if you DONT milk them… etc.

                  Maybe she’d change her mind if she saw that “Balut” snack they eat in the Philippines…

          2. My sister calls heself a vegetarian but she will on occasion eat fish. As far as I know she will do dairy. Probably not a lot because her and her husband our health freaks.

            1. That’s what I know as a “pescatarian”

              1. For pete’s sake, what do those who eat only finned-fish call themselves?
                How about those that eat no cloven-hooved…
                Oh, wait!

              2. She may or may not know what that is. I don’t think its like a religion to her or anything.

          3. Except for that ‘supplement’ they take, the one made from animal protein, so they don’t die.
            I read a comment by a dedicated vegan recently that she (and it was a “she”) had stopped taking the supplement; she just doesn’t wash the veggies as much as she did and presumes there’s enough wee beasties to make up the difference.
            Wee beasties must not be fauna, I guess.

            1. she just doesn’t wash the veggies as much as she did and presumes there’s enough wee beasties to make up the difference.

              Sheesh, just wash the veggies in pond water and be done with it!

              1. “Sheesh, just wash the veggies in pond water and be done with it!”

                Or the toilet; It’s *NATURAL*!

            2. And then there are your level 5 vegans


            3. Nah, they can get all the complete protein they need from soy, rice and beans, etc. Now, there’s probably a reason that people who eat that way tend to look unhealthy as shit, pasty, etc, but they’ll live.

              1. Episiarch|1.7.15 @ 9:57PM|#
                “Nah, they can get all the complete protein they need from soy, rice and beans, etc.”

                From what I’ve read and heard from MDs, that is simply not possible.
                There are certain amino acids (? – old fart memory) that MUST come from animal protein and the supplement makers are very careful not to mention it.

                1. I’m assuming you’re talking about Omega-3 fatty acids, and vitamin B12

                  1. GILMORE|1.7.15 @ 10:26PM|#
                    “I’m assuming you’re talking about Omega-3 fatty acids, and vitamin B12”

                    G, I can’t remember. I was interested only in that a SIL decided to eat vegan and wife was curious.
                    I will suggest there’s no foolin’ about needing it and vegans knowing it; look at the suppliers!

              2. They don’t just look unhealthy, they smell funny. I don’t mean ‘ha ha’ funny.

            4. “”she just doesn’t wash the veggies as much as she did””

              Gee, that’s brilliant.

              Starve your @#*$& immune system then go out of your way to expose yourself to as much dangerous bacteria, fungus, and chemical residue as possible. Darwin FTW

              1. “then go out of your way to expose yourself to as much dangerous bacteria, fungus, and chemical residue as possible. Darwin FTW”

                Prolly no KEMIKALZ(!), but, yes, the rest, ’cause *natural!*

            5. I have noticed that the only people who engage in food weirdness are people who have never been hungry. Veganism is a bad side effect of being too far removed from the real world.

              When you have been hungry you eat what is put in front of you and you say thank you.

              1. Suthenboy|1.7.15 @ 10:28PM|#
                “I have noticed that the only people who engage in food weirdness are people who have never been hungry.”

                As a general rule, those in China will eat what hasn’t et them!
                And it will be well-prepared! Where’s HM?

              2. Then there is India.

                1. AlmightyJB|1.7.15 @ 11:17PM|#
                  “Then there is India.”

                  Yeah, tainted by that pig who can eat what she pleases while hoping others starve.
                  The Alice Waters of the Indian sub-continent!

          4. I had thought vegetarians won’t eat or wear anything where an animal is killed/harmed, while vegans won;t eat or wear anything that came from an animal regardless of physical harm.

            1. “while vegans won;t eat or wear anything that came from an animal regardless of physical harm.”

              Except for that supplement…

            2. Yeah, those are I think the “general” classifications. I’m sure people individualize. Kinda like libertarians:)

      2. AlmightyJB|1.7.15 @ 9:28PM|#
        “I had not heard about that law.”…

        According to an article in the local lefty rag, it typically requires a 70% increase in cage space.
        Even assuming the farmer had some un-used space, it still sounds like the hen population is reduced by something close to 50%.
        The promoters of the law claimed ‘it wasn’t going to make a noticeable difference’ in egg price.
        Oh, and O-care won’t raise the debt also.

        1. Yeah, I’m not sure how I would react if one day they told the truth about their proposals.

          1. JB: please don’t ever post about your vegan daughter again. This was the most horrible threadjacking ever. I know you didn’t start it, I’m just saying…

  7. OT: On Monday, I was finally fired from my job. Here are the parting words I gave to the weasel who orchestrated it:

    Dear Fred

    I missed you in HR today. I figured you would want to savor the moment when the ax fell. You coward. I see also you couldn’t resist the urge to cram in a few more lies into my “get lost” letter. I’m sure you rubbed your oily hands together and cackled with glee. Since you were too chicken to face me, here are some parting words:

    Remember that long chat last year? It was the one that began with you bragging about your high IQ and ended with you threatening that the world would chew me up and spit me out. I thought about walking off the job then, but I thought I could impress you with results. So much for that. I guess I just don’t have the Right Stuff for the heart-pounding, high-stakes world of plastic bags.

    People like you are the reason Dilbert cartoons exist. You’re a buzzword-spouting stuffed shirt with as much depth as a sheet of paper. There are engineers there with patents and PhDs. You really think you’re more impressive than them?

    If you’re lucky, you have another 50 years left. I suggest using that time to learn how not to be a royal prick.

    Peace & Love

    Futile and unprofessional perhaps, but I felt compelled.

    1. For real?

    2. Derp, from what you’ve posted here I am convinced you have talent. I don’t know your background, but you have a lot to offer and will be successful. F those a-holes. Good luck.

      1. Thanks. I have a BS in chemical engineering and 3 years experience in manufacturing.

        During one of my per-firing hearings, the weasel pounded on the table and said “all I care about are results!” I then listed all the positive things that had happened in my dept since I was hired. He said “well, that wasn’t all you.”

        Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.

        Process engineering is on my reverse bucket list- things I will NEVER do again.

        1. Life’s too short to work for jerks. Good luck on the job hunt.

        2. Pounding on the table? Jesus Christ. I haven’t had an insecure man try to physically intimidate me like that since I was a child. I wonder how I’d react now.

          1. When you’re 5’4″, the bullying is constant.

            Whenever I read about a short guy who kicked ass like Audie Murphy or Simo Hayha, I think to myself “yeah, not surprised.”

            The Gurkhas are short and they have won more medals for bravery than any unit in the British army.

            The Napoleon complex is real.

            1. I once had a boss who made a short, frail little programmer nerd cry in a private meeting. And then he told everyone about it. I don’t think I’ve ever been more disgusted or loathed anymore more.

    3. That sucks. Sounds like you’ll be happier anyways. I had an asshole boss for years. Would actually physically feel better every step I would take away from the building after work. Getting laid off from there was the best thing that ever happened to me. Good luck. Doesn’t sound like you’ll need it with those skills.

    4. Getting fired is never fun, even when you hate your job. I’ve been fired three times. On the third time I changed career directions and never looked back. You might also find that your strengths are better suited elsewhere. Good luck!

      1. Same here- fired 3x in 5 years. I’ve always been interested in languages. My plan is to become a linguist in the Army. I’ll ace the Defense Language Aptitude Battery and then spend 2-3 years in sunny San Diego studying Arabic, Chinese, or maybe Kurmanji Kurdish.

        The first step is losing a lot of weight. I have to get down to 158 pound from my current 205. I weighed 135 pounds when I got back from Peace Corps. The gain I attribute to beer and TX BBQ.

        1. When I went through DLI, it was in gloomy Monterey. Quick google-fu says it still is. If you go that route, you’ll have fun.

    5. Writing adult fuck-you letters is one of the sublime joys of life.

      1. Yes. A thousand times yes.

  8. Never let a tragedy not be used as an excuse to take away the rights of the people.

  9. It’s time for another Make Fun of Muhammed day world-wide. this time we all have to participate. And it should last a long time, not just a day. Eventually they’d get used to it.

    1. Last time all the comments got wiped.

      1. Like I wipe my ass with pictures of Muhammad?

    2. I need to think about that a bit more, but I think you may be right. More violent acts should earn them more ridicule? Whatever we do, it can’t look like knuckling under or limiting our rights. We can’t make it look like terror is a viable method controlling us.

  10. Watching Cocaine Cowboys 2. There basically at early 80s during the Miami violence. News anchor says Miami Head of Police Benevolent Association warned that criminaljustice system can no longer protect the citizens and that they should arm themselves. Can’t imagine ever hearing that today from the police.

  11. The Independents Attire Review, 07 January 2015

    Danger Zone-Edition

    – Kennedy: I am tempted to go full Frank Booth and put on my huff-mask and start screaming “DONT LOOK AT ME”, but I’m pretty sure that’s at least one in-joke too far. Translation = Baby digs blue velvet. We’ve discussed how greens and blues can be Paleface-problematic, but as long as they are the rich, vibrant shades we think they win for Kennedy.

    – Matt: Revisits “The Pleasantville”, his ‘Black and White-TV’ ensemble. We were pretty negative (no pun!) on the original which was based around the Black Suit of Doom; this, however, we’re grooving with. Grey suit #3 makes all the difference, changing the background tint to something more middle of the grey-scale, letting the black tie contrast much better.

    – Kmele: You might think we’re such a shameless slut for the maroon tie that we’d overlook the spotted shirt = You would be wrong. We think mixing casual shirts with ties and sportcoats is a recipe for danger, especially if both are of the more-conservative shades/fabrics, as here. Meh.

    We will grant laurels to Matt for the third day, setting up the possibility for the elusive Quadruple Crown on Friday

    Ar Kun

    *Happy Birthday, Kenny Loggins

    1. Also =

      Tierney always wears the same @*(#$@ tie. Always. I mean, fuck, i guess if you find something that works, stick with it…but this is absurd.

    2. NTTAWWT
      but your fashion commentary is super super gay.

  12. Far Left cartoonist Ted Rall weighs in on France:


    Think of the rage behind the gunmen who invaded Charlie Hebdo’s office yesterday, and that of the men who ordered them to do so. It’s too early to say for sure, but it’s a fair guess that they were radical Islamists. I’d like to ask them: how weak is your faith, how lame a Muslim must you be, to allow yourself to be reduced to the murder of innocents, over ink on paper colorized in Photoshop?

    1. And to make up for linking a leftie, here’s a hot chick with a sexy butt and glasses:


      1. Much better.

      2. self-promotion? haha

      3. You are forgiven.

      4. Too bad about her fake boobs. She’s adorable otherwise.

        1. “Too bad about her fake boobs.”

          Picky, picky, picky!

    2. Ted Rall is a fucking scumbag.

      1. Yeah he is. He’s not wrong in this case though.

        1. He is wrong though. They don’t operate under liberal, western rules. Trying to shame them, that way, won’t work.

        2. Ted is wrong because technically they did not murder innocents (from the Islamists’ perspective).

          They went after and killed exactly the people who were responsible for the mortal crime of blasphemy.

          In the jihad world, this isn’t just a “good shoot”, it is the “best shoot”.

    3. And here is classy Ted Rall making fun of dead US troops, comparing them to ‘suicide bombers’

      1. When I was home for Christmas, my brother shared a lot of war stories, He was medevac pilot in Iraq and Afghanistan.

        He said that in Afghanistan, it was common to pick up guys who had lost both legs and their left arm. They could usually save the right arm because it’s held closer to the body when you’re holding a rifle.

        He said people ask him what happened to the people he picked up. He said he prefers not to think about it. So many people died in the back of his helicopter. The ground crew would hose off the blood after most missions.

    4. Amazingly, not bad! He didn’t even blame the GOP!

      1. I was impressed. That’s the most eloquent and reasonable Rall has ever been.

    5. “…over ink on paper colorized in Photoshop?”

      He has no idea what he is talking about. They are animists. It is not ink on paper to them. It becomes a thing with magical power if it has a certain shape.

      Words have magical powers. Thoughts do also. This is why images, words and thoughts must be forbidden.

      A friend of mine, born and raised in the US, was Iranian. His grandmother has moved here, but not after spending 65+ years in Iran.

      Once when they were in the emergency room waiting to see a doc she forbid him to look at any of the other sick people there. She said they had evil that would jump off of them and get on him if he looked at them. The same for ugly people.

      1. When I was in Tanzania, I saw many bumper stickers that said “this car is protected by the blood of Jesus Christ.”

        Once, I saw a bumper sticker that said “the wise have no faith.”

        Wabongo hawana imani, in Swahili.

        Skepticism is rare everywhere.

      2. I should have added this. When a thing has a certain shape or appearance it elicits certain thoughts or feelings in the viewer’s mind. For them the thoughts and feelings in their mind is reality. They can’t tell the difference between what is in their head and what is in the world. Their feelings and impressions are accurate gauges of reality.

        If a rock in the moonlight has a sinister appearance then they know that rock has a sinister spirit and is dangerous. If they see an image of Mohammed then that image is actually mohammed or some form of him because it make them think of him just as his actual presence would.

        I vaguely remember that one of Gen. Custer’s Indian scouts tried to explain why Indians and Whites would never come together. He said that Whites live mostly in the physical world while the Indian lives mostly in the spirit world. Of course the spirit world is just that person’s imagination but they don’t know it.

        Same for these primitive fucks.

        1. “If they see an image of Mohammed then that image is actually mohammed”


          1. Holy shit! It’s Wolfman Jack!

  13. It is rare for people to get angry about ideas that are obviously false. If I stood on a street corner with a sign that said 2 + 2 = 5, most would think I was a harmless nut. On the other hand, it is common for people to angry when a silly belief is mocked.

    As they say in Texas, if you speak the truth, make sure you ride a fast horse.

    1. it is common for people to angry when a silly belief is mocked.

      Perhaps just a way to help convince themselves they *really* believe it and are *not* stupid?

      1. No, I think they also know it silly and fear the consequences when other people stop fearing them.

        “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!”

        1. Hey, clown — Are you *mocking* me?! 😉

    2. Of a piece with the absurd pedagogical demand for so-called constructive criticism is the doctrine that an iconoclast is a hollow and evil fellow unless he can prove his case. Why, indeed, should he prove it? Is he judge, jury, prosecuting officer, hangman? He proves enough, indeed, when he proves by his blasphemy that this or that idol is defectively convincing?that at least one visitor to the shrine is left full of doubts. The fact is enormously significant; it indicates that instinct has somehow risen superior to the shallowness of logic, the refuge of fools. The pedant and the priest have always been the most expert of logicians?and the most diligent disseminators of nonsense and worse. The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by such learned dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries and then went roistering down the highways of the world, proving to all men that doubt, after all, was safe?that the god in the sanctuary was finite in his power, and hence a fraud. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.

      – Mencken

      One of my favorite things he ever wrote.

    3. Yes. This exactly explains AGW. People are so dedicated to their belief that they get angry and try to suppress those who question it. AGW is the Islam of science.

    4. People are committed to ideas and wrap their egos up in them. To admit they were wrong attacks their sense of self worth.

      Besides, most people don’t believe any particular thing because they logically arrived at that conclusion. They believe it because they chose to at some point. If they had reasoned it out, then they would be willing to amend the their position based on new evidence.

  14. I can’t wait till I can get drunk and have my car drive me home.

    1. “I can’t wait till I can get drunk and have my car drive me home.”

      How long will it take before NSA has your route for the evening of 1/7/15?
      That car’s gonna report location on a regular basis; I’m gonna get my bike out of storage.

      1. You gonna stop progress because technology might be used for ill?

        Hows bouts we get the technology and forbid the NSA from using it under pain of death, instead of living in caves?

        1. “You gonna stop progress because technology might be used for ill?”

          Not me!
          I’m just not gonna use it.
          For example, I have yet to find a need for texting.

  15. “Wrapped up like a deuce in the middle of the night”

    I thought the lyric was “attacked by the jews, another mother in the fight“?

    1. I think the line is “Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.”

      A deuce is some kind of hotrod engine. I am sure someone here has more details on it. I am not a car guy.

      1. ’32 Ford.

        1. Beach Boys – “She’s my little deuce coupe…”. Basically it’s a highly modified 1932 Ford coup?, usually without the sides and top of the engine compartment. The engine is a modern V8, generally with lots of performance modifications.

      2. “Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night”

        A deuce is a turd and finally that lyric makes sense.

  16. There once was a man named…. DOBBS

    1. Who complained ‘They took our jobs’


    2. He complained of angina

      1. And went back to polishing knobs.

        1. I applaud everyone who followed up and delivered on that.

      2. And then he started to sob

    3. /And now, you old fool, you won’t pee!
      Nuts. Wrong limerick…

    4. There once was a man named Lou Dobbs
      He fretted about all he FOBs.
      He fought for in vain
      All migrants detain’d
      For fear dat dey took all r jerbz.

      1. There once was a man on Fox News
        He hated gays wetbacks and Jews
        One night in Saipan
        He sucked a Mex’can
        And now he is very confused

        1. Burma Shave

        2. My lawyers have asked that I change
          The facts, tone and ‘motional range
          of my pr’vious ditty
          For Dobbs prefers titty
          And vaginas troubled by mange

  17. Derpetologist – can I get an email? We’re looking for people. Michigan – we need engineers. I’m a hiring manager. If i can’t use your skills at my plant, I know 100 other people who can – Prod Devel, mfg, quality, testing operations, Research – I’ve been in all of them.

    Went to your blog but didn’t see a way to contact you. If I can get an email, will shoot you a note from work and we’ll go from there. Assume your resume is fired up.

    Unless you aren’t interested in Michigan 🙂 Lemme know. Good luck regardless.

    1. I appreciate it. Michigan is one of the few states I haven’t been to yet. I spent 3 years in Chicago so cold weather doesn’t scare me.

      My real name is one letter off from a Victorian novelist-think Tess of the D’ubervilles. My email is mylastname.myfirstname@gmail.com
      You can see my real name by clicking on my handle.

      1. It’s a trap! Pure Michigan is people!

      2. Here’s to your luck and the hope you don’t need it!

      3. Chicago is horrible and my wife loves it. Fuck Chicago. My fucking hot trumpet of a wife BUYS lingerie for Chicago. I hate that horrible wasteland of crosswalks and tired earth. The wife comes alive. Rents the biggest places to sleep and we have to party at the best dark rich parameters owned by shitty billionaires and then we sleep at glitzy tiny rooms.

        FUCK Chicago. I hate that place and I get great fucking sex out of it.

        1. I mostly hated the 3-way and 5-way intersections. Otherwise, a nice place. Especially the late night gyros and Italian beef places.

          1. Deep dish!!

            (sorry they took yer jerb, but I bet you’ll bounce back quickly and leave that asshole in your dust)

            1. Yeah, not worried in the slightest. Surviving malaria on your own in a 3rd world country has a way of toughening you up.

              1. We used to dream of catching Malaria.

  18. 3d gunz r gettin easier! Shouts pants-wetting Gawperite.

    Poor dude’s sack is all twisted.

    I like the fact that guns can be printed but really wouldn’t it be easier to sell people Sten kits or some other easy gun? Instead of printing, have a mini-mill where you feed in the metal and it cuts it for you with little chance of error?

    1. See, progressive liberals live in upper-middle class enclaves in gentrified sections of American cities. Therefore, metal work strikes them as some sort of wild, inscrutable black magic practiced by tribes of warlocks in unmapped sections of Kansas and Tennessee.

      That’s why they imagine banning guns would have an impact on the supply of guns. Because they don’t realize that every hick in Appalachia and a large number of Mexican drug cartels would immediately begin producing cheap, dirty weaponry if there were an American gun ban.

      There would be a massive, violent black market in that event, but progs don’t want to consider the consequences of their chosen policies, so they just imagine that guns would be impossible to manufacture were legal producers shut down.

      1. The major bottleneck would be ammo particularly powder. But given this country’s lack of success with interdicting another illicit powder I’m sure we would be up to our knees in the stuff in no time.

        1. Kyber pass ammunition (circa 1985) used to use old cellulose movie film chopped up and nitrated.

      2. The weapons that wouldn’t be made illegally, would be aquired from the military, and police.

    2. I was just watching a show on TV about two guys in the Philippines who make 1911 pistols by hand from scrap metal.

      They have templates for all the parts, and just file/cut the metal to fit them.

      They make 5 a month.

  19. Braindead morons seem to think that ‘great’ Islamic art is great. Fact is, NO fucking clever patterns and articulate geometries on miles of silly temples repeated ad fucking nauseam will ever stand the test of the ultimate art- the human body.

    Plus one for advanced art and all its great wave punchers.

    Negative centuries for Islamic fucking boring repetitive geometry. Praise dumb fuck Muhammad.

    1. Next on Abrahamic Idol!

      1. James is my ride into the boof-town, sweet and delish Gilly construct… Boof-town is where vectors of realities intersect and get confucius…

    2. Easy, ace. Mellow out and ride an astral dolphin.

    3. Praise be, unto the cyborg!

  20. Evidently the sexless berber-moors found some crack into the mathematics. And efter a fuckton of centuries some alley gargantuan waste of centuries were discovered by several aborted stepchildren to be infinity logarithms. And then Minecraft, Steam, monster math, and the interwebs breathed a sigh….

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