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Politics

Friday Funnies: Obama Hears You

Chip Bok | 11.14.2014 7:00 AM

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NEXT: Brickbat: Why Most British Cops Don't Carry Guns

Chip Bok
PoliticsElection 2014Barack Obama
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  1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

    So, they've taken the uper quarter of 'Bama and embedded it in his desk ala Davros?

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      EXECUTATE!

  2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    How's Cosby supposed to get any work down with Jack?e and Charles Napier flapping their gums?

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I thought it was Andrew Jackson and Supremes-era Diana Ross.

  3. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

    OT: I wasn't the only one getting stuck in architecture and falling through the world. I only saw one crash, but from time to time it does freeze for thirty seconds (and resume working if I do nothing). Also, the controls are sloppy, as if they are only a general suggestion at to what Arno should do. In climbing walls, he will often just stop, even when the section above is perfectly climbable (as in he will eventually climb it after enough coaxing) and you have to guess what piece of architecture he's going to move to next. This is game six or seven, navigation and handling should be understood by your company at this point.

    Most of the time, if you get stuck in architecture, you can fast travel out of it, but if you get stuck during a mission, you have to reload the last checkpoint, often losing all of the city-run progress. Two things which are almost guaranteed to thwart movement are railings and window frames - Arno sticks to them as if glued. Getting him to detatch from either takes a lot of coaxing that should not have to happen.

    1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      I won't tolerate your intolerance you misogynist pig man.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Then we can all be intolerant together!

        Yay, the masks are off, time to be UnCivil... wait, that's not a big change for me.

    2. KDN   11 years ago

      When will the publishers learn that releasing an unfinished game is significantly worse than pushing it back? Theirs is an industry that lives and dies on first impressions.

      In other video game first impression news, I picked up FarCry3: Blood Dragon on Steam for less than I used to pay for an NES rental at Blockbuster. It might be the greatest FPS in history. How did I not know about this?!?!

      1. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

        Blood Dragon is a whole lot of fun but it doesn't have the staying power of Far Cry 3. (the monsters n bad guys become a little too easy to whack later on).

        Becomes repetitive, too. But there is a great sweet spot in there.

    3. Spoonman.   11 years ago

      I recommend scrolling to the bottom of UnCivilServant's link. Less so if you are susceptible to nightmares.

      1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

        hehehe.

  4. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    The voices in his head are a grave letdown

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      But they are, alas, his only real friends.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        He will, however, find whoever stole his strawberries from the White House kitchen.

        1. Bill Dalasio   11 years ago

          +1 pair of steel ball bearings

      2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        You have to admit, that zombie does have a decent blue suit.

  5. Suthenboy   11 years ago

    Obumbles is not a leader. He is a ruler. With his mentality, what we tell him we want means nothing. POS can't leave fast enough to suit me.

    1. Bill Dalasio   11 years ago

      Personally, I'd be happy with a competent administrator.

      Seriously, why can't we have just that - a guy who manages the affairs of the federal government competently and efficiently without all the turbulence of trying to lead or rule the country into whatever "grand and noble" bullshit gets into their head?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Because they don't have the ego and ambition to launch a multimillion dollar campaign to win the election.

        1. Bill Dalasio   11 years ago

          Then we really are hopelessly and utterly fucked, aren't we?

          1. straffinrun   11 years ago

            You can always hold out for hope except when it comes to the Creedance.

        2. Suthenboy   11 years ago

          "Because they don't have the ego and ambition to launch a multimillion dollar campaign to win the election."

          ^This.

          We have allowed the president so much power above and beyond being commander in chief and signing bills into law that only power mongers can gain the office. If you create a position of great power, the worst kinds of people will gravitate to it.

          I forget who said it, but in commenting about the Bush / Gore election someone said "Lets face it: these are two guys who would eat their own children to get this office."

          1. Bill Dalasio   11 years ago

            I think that's part of it. But, I think it's missing something.

            In it's most primitive form, government is on top of and in charge of society. Og was the tribe's chief and everyone obeyed him as the boss, as the father figure. The terms changed, but the role really didn't - king, laird, padrone, or, in our modern parlance, 50%+1. In that context, the notion of the leader shaping society for grand and noble might have made sense.

            But, a few hundred years ago, there was the beginnings of the inkling that things could be different, that maybe government was just one institution among many in society tasked with a specific and defined mission. In that context, the head of the government is no more our leader, fit to determine grand and noble goals for society than the head of IBM, the head of the local trade union, or the head of your church. The only "grand and noble" goal he is properly tasked with is making sure his organization does its job and does it well.

            But, as I said, even the beginnings of that mentality are only a couple of hundred years old. By and large, most social perception is rooted in the more primitive, tribal, mindset of government (If an alien in a science fiction movie says "Take me to your leader", it's inevitably the case that the alien is escorted to the White House or UN.). And, honestly, I'm not sure the newer mindset will even survive long enough to become the standard.

          2. steve baker   11 years ago

            I've seen Bush's children, but not Gore's?

            Hmmmmmm

      2. Idle Hands   11 years ago

        Because its not possible. The bureaucracy and graft involved has become to vast to manage even a single aspect of it. You could put the most qualified manager on the planet in charge of any federal agency and by the end of his appointed term he would look like the least qualified. The sad fact is that if a news agency focused on one particular agency, take your pick from the fda to homeland security, the amount of fuck-ups and waste produced by the bureaucracy would be stunning.

        1. Bill Dalasio   11 years ago

          But, the miserable irony is that, even if they are unable to run their organization efficiently and competently, they think they and their hopelessly corrupt institutions are qualified to remake the world in the image of whatever fool ideas get into their head.

  6. Libertarian   11 years ago

    Well, I guess we can rest easy. From Coulter's recent column:

    "Libertarians and tea partiers, you were fantastic this election. I have a lot on my plate right now, so it's kind of a relief that I'm not going to have to drown you.

    Third-party libertarian voters didn't cause us to lose any elections, except probably in Virginia, where Republican Ed Gillespie nearly pulled off a come-from-behind shocker. But no one saw that one coming ..."

    Then she looks at the GOP and says, very sternly, this is "your last chance." How many times have we heard that!?

    1. VicRattlehead   11 years ago

      Skeletor aint drowning no one, shit a stiff breeze has more ass to it.
      pfffft

      1. MJBinAL   11 years ago

        She does look like skeletor a bit doesn't she?

        Ann is just a fascist. Not a "conservative" or "small government" or any of those things.
        She is also (fortunately) not capable of persuading anyone she is right, since she starts off by insulting them in her biting, demeaning way.

  7. Will4Freedom   11 years ago

    I see Bok had a lot of time on his hands this week. Even drew the details of Obama's golfing pictures on the desk. Nice touch.

    What's that on the table behind Lurch and that woman? Nobel prize? Oscar for best portrayal of a Democratic-Dictator? Statue of himself?

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Since the nobel prize is a circular disk, it can't be that.

    2. Roger the Shrubber   11 years ago

      That is Teddy Roosevelt riding a bucking bronco. He got it in exchange for the Churchill bust.

    3. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      It's a broken Hitachi magic wand.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        *slap!*

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          *slap!*

          1. Rich   11 years ago

            "Come on, pick up the glove!"

        2. Almanian!   11 years ago

          *SLAP!*

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            Please stop slapping each other's genitalia.

            1. Almanian!   11 years ago

              Only your genitalia you located on your ass. Ours our on the other side...

              1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                You're the one with the dickbutt, dickbutt.

                1. Rich   11 years ago

                  Hey, he's not your dickbutt, pal!

              2. WTF   11 years ago

                *SLAP!*

                1. Almanian!   11 years ago

                  That's why I say, "Hey, man, nice shot!"

                  Nice shot, man!

                  That's why I say, "Hey, man, nice shot!"

                  That's a nice shot, man!

                  1. This Machine Slips It In   11 years ago

                    *a-HEM*

                    It's "What a good shot, man," not "Nice Shot, man!"

                    Sheesh.

                    Oh, right:

                    *SLAP*

                    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

                      whatever - Nice shot, man!

            2. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

              Whose genitalia ought we slap?

              1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

                Warty's....if you have a deathwish.

              2. Rich   11 years ago

                I defer to SugarFree.

      2. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

        It's a broken Hitachi magic wand

        the other half seems to be crammed sideways in Valerie Jarret's mouth.

  8. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Hey, Mel Tillis lost his stutter! Not that Marlo Thomas seems to care.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Dude, you're OLD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

      How's your Red Skelton Komedy Kollection!

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

      1. sasob   11 years ago

        At least Red Skelton was funny. This clown presently in the White House isn't - at all.

  9. SugarFree   11 years ago

    Bok has given Obama a straight up old bumpy penis head. Which I'm sure is racist somehow.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      Hey!! Ol' Dirty Bastard wasn't racist!

    2. WTF   11 years ago

      Because everyone knows black guys have big dicks, so drawing Obama like a big dick plays into that racist stereotype.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        "It's twue. It's TWUE!!"

        1. Florida Man   11 years ago

          "Baby, I am not from Havana!"

          1. MJBinAL   11 years ago

            "Don't shoot the n###!"

  10. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

    I don't remember this episode of the Mary Tyler Moore show.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      You're thinking of a different Valerie.

    2. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Wow. You're even older than Fist.

      You're, like, MY age or something.

  11. Almanian!   11 years ago

    This is a mess. I don't even....

    Thefore, perfect. Happy Slap-Ass Friday, Reasonoids! I hope a chicken bone lodges in your throat and you choke to death like Roger Daltrey in "The Legacy".

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose.

    2. WTF   11 years ago

      *SLAP!*

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        *SLLLLAP!*

    3. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      *pimp slap*

  12. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    ha.

  13. Almanian!   11 years ago

    If I were sage I would say,

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  14. John Galt   11 years ago

    Why is the truth so funny? Ha ha ha HA!

  15. John Galt   11 years ago

    The president is a jug-eared psychopath intensely focused on carrying out personal revenge and carrying on endless with his cronyism. BOKed it right out of the park this time!

  16. ritchbumpsyrg   11 years ago

    My classmate's mother-in-law makes $73 every hour on the computer . She has been without work for five months but last month her check was $14391 just working on the computer for a few hours. why not try this out.
    vi?????????sit hom?????????epage ????? http://www.jobsfish.com

    1. plusafdotcom   11 years ago

      http://www.plusaf.com/linkedin.....ntenna.jpg

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