Getting High With Willie Nelson Does Not Clarify Maureen Dowd's Understanding of Colorado's Marijuana Regulations


Fred R. Conrad / The New York Times

In her most recent New York Times column, Maureen Dowd brags about getting high with Willie Nelson, notes that "I'm the poster girl for bad pot trips" (literally), and once again misrepresents Colorado's rules for marijuana edibles:

Eager not to seem like a complete idiot, I burbled that, despite the assumption of many that I gobbled the whole candy bar, I had only taken a small bite off the end, and then when nothing seemed to be happening, another nibble. 

Nelson humored me as I also pointed out that the labels last winter did not feature the information that would have saved me from my night of dread.

Now, however, Colorado and Washington State have passed emergency rules to get better labeling and portion control on edibles, whose highs kick in more slowly and can be more intense than when the drug is smoked. 

Dowd visited Denver in January. Under the regulations in effect at the time, packages of edibles were limited to 100 milligrams of THC, which makes it unlikely that Dowd would have experienced the eight-hour hallucinatory hell she described in a column last June as a result of "a small bite" and a "nibble." Furthermore, every wrapper had to carry a warning that "the standardized serving size for this product includes no more than ten milligrams of active THC," which would be a tenth of a package containing the maximum allowable amount of THC. At that point potency testing was optional, but companies that tested their products were required to include "a potency profile expressed in milligrams and the number of THC servings within the Container." Manufacturers that did not test for potency had to include this warning: "The marijuana product contained within this package has not been tested for potency, consume with caution." Those rules are hard to reconcile with Dowd's claim that "the labels last winter did not feature the information that would have saved me from my night of dread."

Since May 1, a month before Dowd wrote the column about her bad trip, potency testing has been mandatory in Colorado, meaning that every package has to carry a label indicating total THC content and the number of 10-milligram servings. Yet Dowd claimed the state was at that point merely thinking about "moving toward demarcating a single-serving size of 10 milligrams." In truth, that has been the standard since legal recreational sales began on January 1.

Now Dowd says Colorado recently adopted rules "to get better labeling and portion control" on edibles. But the rules to which she refers, which were issued at the beginning of August, do not affect information about THC content or serving size. Instead they require that foods containing more than 10 milligrams of THC be marked "in a way that enables a reasonable person to intuitively determine how much of the product constitutes a single serving of active THC." The new rules also say that "each demarked standardized serving of marijuana must be easily separable." The upshot is to ban products, such as 100-milligram truffles, that contain more than 10 milligrams of THC but cannot be easily divided into standard servings.

There will be one new warning that is relevant to avoiding experiences like the one described by Dowd: "The intoxicating effects of this product may be delayed by two or more hours." Still, Dowd has consistently understated the requirements already imposed on the industry and the information already available to consumers while creating the impression that Colorado faces a marijuana-edible emergency that demands stricter regulation. In her June 3 column, she describes two "marijuana-related deaths" that are endlessly recycled by pot prohibitionists—one a homicide, the other a suicide/accident. In the column that ran yesterday, she says public education is needed to "prevent any more deaths," as if people are dropping dead left and right from marijuana overdoses, which is a biological impossibility in real-world conditions.

Public education should be based on accurate information about the potential hazards of edibles and the tools consumers can use to avoid them. Dowd seems intent on misrepresenting both.

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  1. “Bad pot trips”? I bet she’s a joy to be around when she is high.

    1. +1

      I quit that stuff a long time ago because it made me paranoid and anti-social, which is not what i want to be when setting up to party, but “bad pot trips”, really? First time I’ve ever heard someone use pot and trip in reference to each other, and I ain’t no youngster.

    2. “I swear mom, I only had one pot!”

    3. Why do I get the feeling that Dowd was one of those girls who used the mating call of “I’m soooo drunk!” after one beer when she was in college?


  2. “And I found the glass bong to be very cold when inserted anally.”

    -Maureen Dowd “Bad Sex Trip From A Nibble”

    1. So, um….will this be a longer work? I want to check my HSA balance and see if I can afford therapy.

  3. Eager not to seem like a complete idiot

    That ship sank, long ago. All hands were lost.

    1. Yeah, back when she wrote that she was just too smart and beautiful for cowardly men to date.

  4. Dowd seems like she clearly has anxiety issues, and those manifest more commonly when she engages in substance use. It sounds a lot like she stresses herself out when using and it results in a cycle of anxiety leading to a panic attack.

    Admittedly, I had a bad experience with pot in university, but that was the result of it being laced with coke (I was completely unaware of that fact). Christ that was a bad time.

    1. laced with coke

      Sure it was.

      1. Its not as dangerous as people think. The LD50 isn’t that high. Now, have a condom with a quarter pound’s worth rupture in your intestine…

        1. I don’t know anyone who has ever taken something unaware that it was laced. I’ve always thought that was a scene from the movie Friday that never happens in real life.

          1. I smoked a PCP joint by accident. Stolen weed from a friend’s stepdad.

            1. That taught you a valuable lesson about theft. What it is, I have no idea.

              /rodney dangerfield

            2. Did you see the little blue mouse doing the backstroke in the toilet?

          2. I had a girlfriend who was given a cocaine-laced cigarette by someone (she was unaware that it was laced). People absolutely do this. It’s insanely shitty, but they do it.

          3. I took a hit off of a Rick James not realizing that’s what it was. Crack sucks.

      2. I smoked it. My heart felt like it was going to explode, I had a massive headache and it hurt to have any kind of light near my eyes. Long story short don’t buy weed from the weird-looking dude at a bar.

      3. Pam did this all last season on Archer. Has to be true.

        1. I guess we have to decide if we want regular lame Cheryl and a Pam who’s not gonna overdose on cocaine and die, or potentially famous country singer Cheryl and a Pam with big tits.

          1. Seriously, this is a question?


    2. The best lesson I learned at University… never do coke and mushrooms at the same time.

      1. But mushrooms and ecstasy? Yes. If you ever have the opportunity, do it.

  5. Between Ezra Klein’s difficulty with Netflix envelopes, Maureen Dowd’s inability to successfully eat a candy bar, and basically everything Thomas Friedman has ever said or done, it seems like the only real qualification for being a political columnist for a major media outlet is to be functionally retarded.

    1. Add in SadBeard using a whole column to complain about how he hates eating outside and all his frozen burrito reviews.

      1. he has to be playing the longest con ever. There is no way someone like him can function outside his mother womb for five minutes.

    2. It’s almost as if they project their own retardedness on everyone else and that’s why they are complete statists, nannyists, and demand that everything be changed to coddle the stupidest people in our society: namely, them.

  6. So… how many drinks would it take to get the gumption to date/sleep with Dowd?

    Dead drunk?
    Whiskey dick?
    or only legally impaired?

    1. Heroin Overdose.

      1. Sniff glue for 5-10 minutes.

    2. Depends, how long do I have to talk to her first?

      1. This seems about right. She’s not exactly physically ugly. She’s just not nearly so cute or clever as she thinks she is. By an order of magnitude.

        My guess, though, is that the aftermath would be the real problem.

    3. Need more details, like how long it’s been and where we are at said trist. There is difference between being at a bar in a dessert island with no hope of rescue, or a bar in rural Nebraska(allbeit a small one).

      1. Hmm, dessert island

        /Homer noise

        1. Than no couldn’t deal with her dogging me for the rest of my life as I don’t know if I have the stomach to murder anybody even hypothetically.

          1. I know it was a bad joke, but you didn’t happen to hear anything go zipping by, just over your head?

            Dessert =/= desert

            1. I don’t have Good Humor.

    4. If by “legally impaired” you mean “died of alcohol poisoning”…

    5. Frankly, I wouldn’t fuck her with Hillary Clinton’s dick.


  7. Speaking of ignorance in media, Mollie Hemmingway at The Fedralist unloads on Politico.

    Yeah, I can’t put my finger on why people were talking about Alinsky ever? SAYS A POLITICAL REPORTER. I mean, seriously. I get if you’re a normal person who lives a happy life unencumbered by discussions of politicians. But if you’re a political reporter, how can you cover the manufactured War on Women without knowing from which its tactics spring? How can you cover any political race without knowing how basic strategies of political change are employed by people on up to, oh I don’t know, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? I’m sorry for shouting, but you see how it’s kind of frustrating, no? Look at these 13 (or 24, depending on how you look at it) rules from Alinsky and you tell me whether the phrase “Oh that’s why Harry Reid and other Democratic operatives are constantly invoking the specific names of the Koch brothers” doesn’t immediately spring word-for-word from your lips when you get to the end.

  8. I usually have a bad time eating THC because I’m a light weight and it’s easy to “over dose”. I have had raging think I’m gonna die panic attacks. So I don’t eat it anymore. Problem solved.

  9. It’s surprising the Bloomberg organization hasn’t poached Dowd from the NYT. She’d be a perfect fit.

  10. OFFS, all of this obsession over labeling and consumer warnings and all that is so fucking obselete. Everything you could want or need to know about a drug you want to try is on the fucking internet. I’ve never seen anyone so helpless. She could be dying of thirst on in the desert and she could find a case of bottled water and she would still die because the bottles don’t have any instructions on how to consume water and what the proper dose is.

    1. She could be dying of thirst on in the desert and she could find a case of bottled water and she would still die because the bottles don’t have any instructions on how to consume water and what the proper dose is.

      I have a cunning plan…

      1. So cunning it has its own Chair in Cunning Plans at Oxford?

    2. You know in this situation she’d just go and drink a bunch of seawater.

    3. Yes, but Dowd is far too narcissistic to not think everything should be arranged around her needs. Since she’s too stupid to do anything, everything needs to be set up to cater to that fact. Just because the rest of us aren’t functionally retarded (well, except for ProL) doesn’t mean shit.

  11. “….I also pointed out that the labels last winter did not feature the information that would have saved me from my night of dread.”

    Did I not see an interview with the clerks that sold her that stuff where they held the package in front of the camera and it was clearly labeled with instructions? Did they not also say that they gave her very specific instructions verbally, more than once? Aside from being bat-shit crazy, the woman is a bald-faced liar. What half-assed operation would publish her?

    Oh, never mind.

  12. Has there ever been a push to label the amount of gibbering idiocy a single Dowd column contains?

    That could cut down on the cancer rates among the NYT readership substantially.

    1. Why would you want to do that?

      1. Accidental exposure.

        There is no acceptable safe level of Second Hand Dowd.

  13. OT: striking teachers texting students inside school to stir up discontent.…..ecgbypass;

    1. Teachers texting students for anything is kinda seedy.

  14. how many drinks would it take to get the gumption to date/sleep with Dowd?

    Enough drinks to render her incapable of speech. How many drinks is that?

    1. With or without a rufi?

    2. If all you need to do is silence her, there are plenty of ways to do that.

      Most have to do with putting something in her mouth.

      The real moral dilemma is figuring how to live with yourself.

      1. If you gagged and choked her, you probably wouldn’t have any remorse. You could think of it as rape instead of sex.

    3. Let’s find out. One, two, three [crunch]. Three.

  15. She simply made it all up to sell a story.

  16. Maureen, you’re nobody’s poster girl.

    1. Maybe she’s the poster girl of being nobody’s poster girl.

  17. Now, however, Colorado and Washington State have passed emergency rules to get better labeling and portion control on edibles, whose highs kick in more slowly and can be more intense than when the drug is smoked.

    Goddammit, don’t encourage her. Now that she thinks she can browbeat both states, she’ll never leave us alone.

  18. Too bad the hundreds of thousands of pot users before Dowd were unable to access basic information about what pot might do when eaten or smoked. How did so many legions of druggies ever make it on their own?

  19. She was still “suffering” the affects so can’t be held accountable for bad reporting!

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