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Politics

Tonight on The Independents: Tierney vs. Bolton in a Battle of the Johns, ISIL vs. the U.S., Gene Healy vs. Militarization, Killer Mike on Ferguson, Plastic-Bag Bans, Reclining Airplane Seats, the Worst Driving Cities, Plus After-show!

Matt Welch | 8.26.2014 8:14 PM

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The whole point of doing television, really, is to create situations in which New York Times science writer and friend of Reason John Tierney gets to go toe-to-toe with the likes of former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton. On tonight's live episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network, 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, with re-airs three hours later) this Battle of the Johns will form our Party Panel, duking it out over:

* News that an American citizen named Douglas McAuthur McCain (!) from San Diego was killed over the weekend while fighting for the Islamic State (ISIL).

* President Barack Obama's speech at the American Legion.

* A new inspector general report about the mess in the Veterans Administration.

* The morality (and threat assessment) of reclining your seat on airplanes.

* California's proposed ban on plastic bags.

Also on the show: Michael Weiss of The Interpreter discusses the latest developments with ISIL (including its level of threat to the U.S.). Cato Vice President (and Reason.com columnist) Gene Healy will talk about the political fight over police militarization, including Congressional Black Caucus calls for a federal police czar. The co-hosts will break down a new Allstate study of the worst drivers in America, and, obviously, the rapper Killer Mike will come on to talk about Ferguson.

Online-only aftershow begins at foxbusiness.com/independents just after 10. Follow The Independents on Facebook at facebook.com/IndependentsFBN, follow on Twitter @ independentsFBN, and click on this page for more video of past segments.

Start your day with Reason. Get a daily brief of the most important stories and trends every weekday morning when you subscribe to Reason Roundup.

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NEXT: Senate Democrat Wants You to Boycott Burger King

Matt Welch is an editor at large at Reason.

PoliticsThe IndependentsWorldNanny StateCulturePolicyISISVeteransIraq
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  1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

    First?

    1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      It’s so lonely here.

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        Here, have a joke:

        http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/Pics/Hammered.jpg

        1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

          Sacrilege!

      2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        I’ve sworn off < i The Independents.

        1. NebulousFocus   11 years ago

          Yet, here you are.

      3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Hello.

  2. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

    The co-hosts will break down a new Allstate study of the worst drivers in America,

    SPOILER

    Boston takes the second to last place, and Worcester takes last.

    I am shocked.

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      a new Allstate study

      SO the independents are good hands people?

    2. GILMORE   11 years ago

      Asian women?

    3. Dweebston   11 years ago

      So… it’s a ranking of the country’s most amicable driving conditions.

    4. NebulousFocus   11 years ago

      Singapore is much worse than anywhere in the US (and most of Asia as well).

  3. gaijin   11 years ago

    Duty, honor, caliphate….Those three hallowed words reverently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be.

    /Douglas McAuthur McCain

    1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      You need to mix up a McCain quote in there. Like “I hate the Gooks Mun?fiq?n. I will hate them as long as I live*.”

      Something like that.

      *Yes, he actually said that.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        Like this?

        “Duty, honor, caliphate…Stand with our Caliph and fight. We’re Muslims. We’ll never surrender. They will. This is what you are, what you ought to be, what you will be.”

        /Douglas McAuthur MCCAIN

        1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

          He also needs a daughter with a large chest.

  4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    “President Barack Obama’s speech”

    Obama doesn’t do speeches.

    He does soliloquies, Matt.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      Me me, me me me me, that is the question
      Whether ’tis better for me to me me me…

  5. Irish   11 years ago

    This moveon.org petition about how evil Burger King is for their tax inversion is the funniest thing I’ve ever read.

    stop running away from taxes it hurts us

    When I read comments like this, all I can think is ‘Mom! Why won’t the cool kids play with me? Is it because I smell bad?’

    Stay away from my countries welfare tax dodgers

    – Anthony from Canada

    ??? So Burger King is going on welfare, apparently. Didn’t know they let corporations do that in Canada.

    I never eat there anyway…but now I’ll never EVER eat there!!

    That’ll show them!

    I will boycott Burger King until this is settled honorably.

    *takes off glove, smacks burger king in face, challenges to pistols at dawn*

    Stay in USA and pay the your taxes that the profits you make are from minimum wages for your employees.

    Make the your minimum higher wage from Canada.

    I will never buy burger king again. It is criminal what you are doing.

    Definition of criminal: Anything which makes me sad

    I will no longer visit tim Horton or buger king again my wife and eat at both at least once a week no longer will we

    English make language no good in comments moveon.org

    1. NotAnotherSkippy   11 years ago

      Thank you.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      They keep out-retarding each other.

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        I call that a “Tard-Off”.

    3. Rev-Match   11 years ago

      Don’t re-locate your offices to Canada to avoid paying your share of American taxes.

      How soon before these types are advocating the holding of companies in the country by force? Because “economic patriotism”, or something.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        Schumer already is

      2. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

        Next step, invade Canada for sheltering US tax evaders.

      3. Christophe   11 years ago

        They are. All they haven’t done yet is propose making the law change be retroactive.

    4. The Tone Police   11 years ago

      well 2073 retards can’t be wrong…

    5. The Tone Police   11 years ago

      You missed the best one:

      THIS IS AMERICA EVERYONE SHOULD PAY THERE FAIR SHARE. IF YOU DO THIS IM TAKING MY EBT TO WENDYS THERE BETTER ANYWAY

      Jesus Christ, that’s fucking hilarious.

  6. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Someone posted a link about a child abuse gang in the UK. More on that:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbpAXRfbE-A

  7. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

    “California’s proposed ban on plastic bags.”

    I don’t live in California, but to those who do, have you ever seen or heard a television or radio advertisement simply urging people not to use plastic bags? I’ve heard of many legislative proposals to use state coercion to bar their use, but I can’t recall a single such ad trying non-coercive persuasion. I’ll happily stand corrected if someone can note otherwise.

    1. SForza   11 years ago

      Never. But why would the State want to persuade us when they can rape us instead?

  8. Aloysious   11 years ago

    Since Jesse is lonely, I thought I would share pearls of wisdom from Louis Farrakhan.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      A government conspiracy to kill black kids? Well, at least F isn’t being a blind partisan for Obama!

    2. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      Why is he wearing a 70’s prom tux?

      1. Aloysious   11 years ago

        Maybe he’s got the funk?

        1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

          That’s not the funk;this is the funk.

          1. Aloysious   11 years ago

            Damn. Now that is funky.

            1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

              So get yo ass on the Mothership!

    3. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      What did I jut watch?

      1. Aloysious   11 years ago

        Louis Farrakhan White Devils.

        Looey has opinions. This one is, to be fair, kinda old.

  9. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Guess which celebrity Ayatollah Khomeini looks like:

    https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/1068724480/hBECCF929/

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      I…. i…..

      My world is shattered.

      Although I guess that explains Connery’s opinions towards women

  10. Dances-with-Trolls   11 years ago

    (including its level of threat to the U.S.)

    I’m guessing that this means the threat to individual Americans rather than to the nation. Because ISIL isn’t taking out the USA unless they get more help from the US Congress.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      ACLJ would have you believe that we’re all about to die and the terrorists will be flying their flag over the Capitol

  11. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    You’ve heard of Jews for Jesus, but did you know there are Sikhs for Hinduism?

    http://www.info-sikh.com/PageRSS1.html

  12. Stickler Meeseeks   11 years ago

    “News that an American citizen named Douglas McAuthur McCain (!) from San Diego was killed over the weekend while fighting for the Islamic State (ISIL).”

    Another “Gentle Giant” bites the dust.

    1. Stickler Meeseeks   11 years ago

      “He shall not return.”

      1. Swiss Servator, Bern baby Bern   11 years ago

        Nice.

  13. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    An inspirational message:

    http://platedlizard.blogspot.c…..agine.html

    1. Aloysious   11 years ago

      You added a picture of crazy-hair alien guy. That was a nice touch.

    2. NotAnotherSkippy   11 years ago

      Hey, I’ve seen an elephant up close and it’s waaayyyyy bigger than that little moon up in the sky.

  14. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Let the best John win.

    After 10+ years of watching the Iraq war, and the geniuses who considered it *a good idea as part of a larger middle-east strategy*…. I sincerely hope Tierney has actually thought of some decent prods to Bolton that will force him to acknowledge errors in conception, execution, and in basic premises about ‘democratisation via “light-footprint” invasion’.

    Too many people go for the easy “I told you so”, and just say, GAHH!! BOOOSH!! OIL!!! and don’t actually remember that “the plan” with Iraq was to ‘release a wave of pent-up desire for democracy’ in the middle east… not just ‘get rid of saddam’.

    Its only been in the post-iraq phase (that year was fun!) where the Architects of the Iraq war have moved the goalposts to say that the effort was simply to ‘oust saddam’ and remove that threat. They pretend they achieved their ‘limited goal’, and everything since is ‘someone elses fault’.

    …when in fact, the current mess all across the region is partly what the Neocons said they *wanted*. Stir up the pot in the middle east, and let a thousand flowers bloom. The removal of Saddam, Assad, Gaddafi are all goals that Bolton would have said would/will lead to ‘greater stability’.

    It is beholden on people like Bolton to rationalize the status quo vs the thinking that DESIRED a power-vacuum in Iraq, and has since put the US in the position of endless war in the region, most likely *to the ultimate benefit of Iran and Syria*.

    1. NotAnotherSkippy   11 years ago

      C’mon. Persia needs fair ups for Thermopylae.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        So Iran is going to nuke the Greeks?

    2. Juice   11 years ago

      Those lies are easily exposed. The way the Coalition Provisional Authority busted up the Iraqi system and scattered, smothered, and chunked it shows that their intentions were to breed instability. A whole slew of old hat experts were telling them straight to their faces repeatedly that what they were doing would completely destabilize the country and possibly the region. They just ignored them and carried on stirring shit up between the Sunnis and Shia.

      1. GILMORE   11 years ago

        “…shows that their intentions were to breed instability”

        You’d think so, but no.

        No, they spent a decade+ explaining in advance how this was all going to work out great. The even wrote it all down and stuff.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          1994 Cheney was right about Iraq. I always wanted to understand what caused his total change of opinion.

        2. Juice   11 years ago

          The PNAC didn’t have detailed plans of how to politically reshape Iraq after deposing Saddam. They thought they would have some puppet dictator (Chalabi) installed “democratically” and then that would be that, maybe a few loose ends to tie up. Well, that was a no-go right out of the gate and so their plan B, so it seems, was to completely dismantle the Iraqi government.

          1. GILMORE   11 years ago

            You’re being reductive – PNAC only came into being in the late 1990s and did not re-do all the policy research proposals that

            The actual lead up all throughout the 1990s had neocon intellectuals proposing the ‘post-saddam’ middle eastern scenarios, many of which were formulated by Paul Wolfowitz in 1989-1993 when he undersecretary of defense for Bush I.

            The thinking went back over a decade. Chalabi was nothing but a placeholder for what they thought would be an emergent polity of anti-saddam locals who’d be happy to ‘take over’.

            You seem to be trying to backtrack ‘rationale’ from events rather than look at everything that lead the decision-making up to the invasion.

            1. GILMORE   11 years ago

              1st sentence – ‘….that preceded their recommendations.’

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      +1 greeting us with flowers

  15. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Also =

    I think the rapper, rather than comment on ‘ferguson’ (why does rapping qualify anyone to talk… forget it)… explain the appeal of “Jihad” to other unsuccessful* rappers like himself.

    (*because WTF is he doing on this show)

    1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

      I find it interesting that there are plenty of musicians who lecture on politics but none who lecture on physics.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        I think there are plenty of musicians who lecture on physics…they just happen to be physicists!

        And of course, there are plenty of physicists who lecture on politics.

        1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

          Some are even astrophysists.

          1. GILMORE   11 years ago

            damn you

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

            +1 Flash

      2. GILMORE   11 years ago

        “Derpetologist|8.26.14 @ 8:42PM|#

        I find it interesting that there are plenty of musicians who lecture on politics but none who lecture on physics.

        Actually, Brian May – lead guitarist for Queen – …completed a PhD thesis in astrophysics,[97] entitled A Survey of Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud,…

        He is co-author, with Sir Patrick Moore and Chris Lintott, of Bang! ? The Complete History of the Universe (published in 2006)[102] and “The Cosmic Tourist” (published in 2012).”

        1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

          Yeah, but he doesn’t lecture his fans on it and there’s nothing about science in his songs- unless you think “Princes of the Universe” is about astronomy.

          1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

            On a side note, I would like to bemoan the total lack of hit songs about sea monsters.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

            Yeah, but Flash Gordon

      3. PapayaSF   11 years ago

        Doesn’t Insane Clown Posse count, for their lectures on magnetism?

        1. Dweebston   11 years ago

          Fuckin’ magnetism, how did they explain how it works?

  16. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

    TX Pastor Files Complaints About Vampire Books

    “Pastor Phillip Missick of King of Saints Tabernacle, a Messianic church, filed a complaint with Austin Memorial Library, Cleveland’s public library, asking that many fiction books on vampires, demons and the supernatural be purged. He says he was stunned to find the young adult section full of books like ‘Blood Promise,’ ‘Twilight,’ and the “Vampire Knight” series.

    ‘This is dark. There’s a sexual element. You have creatures that aren’t human. I think it’s dangerous for our kids’ said Missick.

    http://abc13.com/religion/past…..ed/275930/

    1. Dances-with-Trolls   11 years ago

      They’re “my” kids, not “our” kids. Thanks anyway, Pastor Asshole.

  17. Stickler Meeseeks   11 years ago

    Okay, this is kinda adorable, if you like adorable puppies.

    http://rlv.zcache.com/dog_in_a…..g=0xffffff

  18. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    I will repeat a sentiment I shared a few months ago:

    http://reason.com/blog/2014/03…..nt_4375535

    Oh no! Our strongman was overthrown! No worries- we’ll just pay the dictator next door to fight the new guy.

    Oh no! The dictator is bankrupt! No worries- we’ll just tell him it’s OK to invade Kuwait.

    Oh no! He actually invaded and now we have to fight him. No worries- we’ll just tell the Kurds and Shiites to rebel.

    Oh no! He slaughtered the rebels and is stronger than ever. No worries- we’ll just sanction him and bomb him once in a while.

    Oh no! We need to invade again so he doesn’t help terrorists. No worries- it’ll be a walk in the park.

    Oh no! They’ve taken to guerilla warfare and they’re pretty good at it.
    No worries- once they have elections, the new government will restore order.

    Oh no! The country is hopelessly split into factions and they’re having a civil war.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      What’s with all the ancient history? Next you’ll bring up Mossadegh

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        Reminds of the time O’Reilly hushed Ron Paul for giving a history lecture:

        http://youtu.be/gZyxnctMims?t=2m39s

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          History is for losers and nerds

          1. creech   11 years ago

            And guys who’ve glommed on to “Killing so and so” books.

  19. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

    Questions About Story of Tenn. Teen Allegedly Suspended for Saying Bless You

    “So I called up Principal Peggy Dodds just a little while ago and got her side of the story before shit hits the fan in the conservative world.

    According to Dodds, Turner was not given an in-school suspension. She wasn’t sent out of the classroom, either ? she chose to walk out. And, most importantly, she wasn’t punished by the teacher for saying ‘God bless you’ ? however, the teacher did admonish her for ‘disrupting the classroom.'”

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/f…..z3BY5k9fFr

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Teacher, then, is still an idiot for claiming a ‘bless you’ disrupts anything.

      Not that I care either way at the moment. I mean, what difference does it make at this time?

  20. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Prediction: Black.

  21. Rev-Match   11 years ago

    Kennedy looks fruity.

  22. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    He’s a loser.

    Next.

  23. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Oh, Bolton, come back for more, eh?

  24. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Does Tierney cancel out Bolton? Or vice versa?

  25. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Kennedy starts interrupting again?

  26. gaijin   11 years ago

    WHy is Kennedy surprised that middle class people would be attracted to ISIL? Economic class certainly didn’t define hte 911 hijackers…except that they were not poor people.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      Bill Ayers was middle class. I think Lenin was, too.

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        Ditto for Che & Castro. Actually, they were near-rich.

      2. gaijin   11 years ago

        yep…thus the middle class must be destroyed…for the children. 🙂

    2. Derpetologist   11 years ago

      Very poor people are too busy trying to stay alive to waste any time with other causes.

  27. gaijin   11 years ago

    Bolton’s brilliant plan: Just Kill People

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      He has to destroy the village to save it

    2. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

      He didn’t say it was a new plan.

    3. PapayaSF   11 years ago

      Some people just need killin’.

  28. Rev-Match   11 years ago

    I propose another increase in funding for veterans care.

    Just throw money at it, you pinheads!

  29. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    “I sure hope my opponents don’t politicize this issue by supporting vouchers for veterans.”

  30. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    They’re much nicer to Bolton. I mean, by comparison to before.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      Well, he just came out as a “hawkish” libertarian.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        Say what? I’m not watching so pardon my disbelief.

        1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

          Basically it went down like this:

          Bolton: I am a hawkish libertarian.

          Kennedy and Kmele: There’s no such thing!

          Bolton: Yes, there is.

          *commercial break*

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

            Somebody is betting on a Rand Paul nomination.

      2. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

        Yeah, I got that before, both on here and Red Eye.

    2. gaijin   11 years ago

      I think they want him to come back on…and he wants a gig in case this libertarian thing gets big.

  31. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    I’m not sure what terrorist attacks on the United States buys them, other than actual American retaliation.

    1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

      I’m not sure that a lot of people in those kinds of organizations appreciate what that really means.

      They have a belief in western weakness, but the SouthPark episode where Cartman goes back to the founding fathers kind of ties in the two headed capability of the US people.

      We do still have the capability to turn the region into a glassy parking lot. A bad enough attack would likely move the current ‘Libertarian Moment’ into an after-thought if a majority of the US is out for blood.

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        “We can agree to disagree as long as we all agree that America kicks ass.”

        ? AmeeeeriKuh….Fuck Yeaaaah!

  32. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Ooh, a PhD in Islamic studies.

    “And what do you intend to do with this degree?”

    “I’ll appoint myself Caliph.”

    “Ha ha, that’s a good one!”

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      PhD…hah…one can only imagine the heresies that must be committed in challenging and defending a thesis presentation.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        Mohammed pictionary

        1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

          I am stealing this idea.

  33. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Well, an armed American public does help forestall a single Islamist with a gun.

  34. Rev-Match   11 years ago

    If things go south…

    Things are going south like Sherman.

  35. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Oh, we’re *all* going to meet the one who refers to “the least of these.”

  36. GILMORE   11 years ago

    The Independents Attire Review, 26 August 2014

    Krakatoa-Edition

    – Kennedalia: Its the orange patterned-thing that evokes something between ‘Christmas’ and ‘Pocahantas’. We’ve been pretty neutral on it; our main complaint is that whatever it *is*, its ‘incomplete’ because all the TV broadcasts is ‘tits up’; we’re not really privy to the ‘whole thing’, and therefore its sort of badly employed as a TV-Host presentation.

    – Matt: Hey! after many instances of pointing out that the Pink should give it a go with his Navy suit, he finally gives it up… and its OK. We think it still rolls hotter with the Tie That Likes Pink, but this isn’t bad at all. What would be *ideal* would be a light purple/lilac tie, which is also a pretty banging tie-shade in general (particularly with grey, like…)

    – Kmele: We’ve never seen him do the “light grey w/maroon” and its a classic match. Grey is our #2 favorite jacket-color next to the Khaki, and the things we like best with it are the Maroon first, then Navy combos, with the ‘multiple shades of charcoal/grey & brown’ tie running a close third. This actually leads us to note = someone on the show should wear a Royal Horse Guard Regimental Stripe tie at some point – its a great look, and works with a variety of suits/jackets.

    Matur nuwun

    1. Dweebston   11 years ago

      Where does all this come from? Honest question. I wake up too tired to deal with my day job, let alone much extracurricular to my couple of classes, yet here you are, an unpaid and unrecognized fashion blogger, wringing a couple hundred words from (to my eyes) the utterly unremarkable couture of some trio of cable personalities several nights a week. What gives? And where can I get some?

  37. GILMORE   11 years ago

    ‘Sup Khalil!!

    (*Kmele gets this a lot)

  38. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    At the risk of sounding like anonbot, wow, this rapper is making a whole lotta sense!

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      yup

  39. PapayaSF   11 years ago

    “If it can happen to Mike Brown, it can happen to anyone.”

    Haha, no. It can happen to anyone who fights with a cop, but that’s rather different.

    1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

      Well, we don’t know that that is what happened here.

      1. BigT   11 years ago

        There is agreement that there was a tussle at the car door.

        1. Dweebston   11 years ago

          Execution at 35′ is clearly the remedy.

          1. PapayaSF   11 years ago

            The 35 feet thing has not been established.

  40. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Police are the ones who are in greater danger?

    Wah?

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      I *think* he’s saying the cops endanger themselves by their confrontational attitude.

    2. Rev-Match   11 years ago

      They don’t even make the top ten (statistically) most dangerous jobs.

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        Then they should get rid of some cop shows a give us a show about those brave boys in brown- garbage men.

        In the municipal sanitation system, the garbage is collected by two separate yet equally important groups: the trash men , who dump the cans; and the drivers, who handle the truck. These are their stories.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Well it’s not like it’s danger danger

      1. GILMORE   11 years ago

        Oh my God?

    4. BigT   11 years ago

      Police are in danger of getting sent on paid vacation.

  41. Rev-Match   11 years ago

    I want my Constitutional rights recognized by the police.

    I want a weekend alone with Jessica Alba, but some things just aren’t in the cards.

  42. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Khalil… again.

    *sigh*

  43. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    He has a Stephen King monkey?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Seems appropriate since King uses a slave army of monkeys with typewriters to write his books.

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        I read about this time some zoo keepers decided test the monkey-typewriter theory. They used keyboards instead. In the first pen, all the monkeys were afraid of it. The alpha monkey cautiously approached it, picked up, and examined it. Then, he threw it on the ground, pissed on it, and smashed it with a rock.

        In the other pen, one monkey actually typed. He produced an 8-page document consisting solely of the letter S.

        1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

          “The alpha monkey cautiously approached it, picked up, and examined it. Then, he threw it on the ground, pissed on it, and smashed it with a rock.”

          That’s also how Hemingway worked.

          1. Swiss Servator, Bern baby Bern   11 years ago

            *polite applause*

  44. GILMORE   11 years ago

    DONT BLAME THE BEER!!

    1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

      I think Kennedy has built up a tolerance to rohypnol

      1. GILMORE   11 years ago

        It was originally designed to get her to pause for a second so someone else could talk

        1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

          By her husband.

  45. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    I bought all the Alaskan Amber in Kenosha one time- 90 beers. It’s my brother’s favorite and he can’t get it where he is. He lives behind the Wal-Mart in Ozark, Alabama.

    A year later, I cleaned out all the Alaskan Amber at Woodman’s for the same reason.

    1. GILMORE   11 years ago

      its that good?

      That raises a question (which has come up before)…

      What is the best *cheap* beer in America?

      And I don’t mean ‘supercheap’ (where people debate the relative merits of Natty Bo to Labatt Blue)… but, ‘not fancy ass micro-snob’ stuff.

      I’d say “Gerst” from Nashville (which used to be $4-5 for 6)…but i don’t know if it still exists.

      I think Yuengling probably is a deserving contender.

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        Hmmm.

        Let me consult my notes:

        http://platedlizard.blogspot.c…..ument.html

        I’ll go with Sierra Nevada or Shiner.

        1. GILMORE   11 years ago

          Sierra is ‘expensive’ most places.

          Is it cheapish in … wherever its from?

          shiner i agree on. Thats Texas, right? We used to get cheap cases of that in Tennessee.

        2. Swiss Servator, Bern baby Bern   11 years ago

          Shiner or the late, lamented Rhinelander (circa 1989).

      2. Max Power   11 years ago

        You are right, the answer is Yuengling.

    2. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

      He lives behind the Wal-Mart in Ozark, Alabama.

      In a dumpster?

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        No, I just enjoy pointing that out since he hates the South & Wal-Mart.

    3. Sidd Finch v2.01   11 years ago

      I had been at a new job for about a month when the boss/owner offered to let me drive his new truck. I get back about 5:30 with the bed two-deep full of $6.99 Negro Modelo 12 packs. As I’m pulling in he’s greeting people important enough that he changed into a suit. Akward.

      Is Ozark the town on 231 with two Walmarts almost next to each other?

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        Yep.

  46. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

    Sleepy time

  47. Rev-Match   11 years ago

    We can move beyond that…

    The Government: Here to help move you on to things that the government wants you to move on to.

  48. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    My airline is nothing but hammocks.

  49. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    I buy the plastic bags.

    Doing anything else is barbaric.

  50. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Kennedy flies private charter.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Or travels naked on a donkey.

  51. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Mo Money County, mo problems.

  52. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

    Bolton.

    Foster.

    Big Ballers.

  53. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    I thought police czars are called Ministers of Internal Security, or Ministries of Love.

  54. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

    Children belong in the baggage hold.

  55. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    I can’t remember the last time there was a 2 minutes of hate.

  56. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Thank your lucky czars. He comes prepared.

  57. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    Booya! Joke of the night.

  58. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The CBC is all about big brother coming in and doing what they can’t or won’t do for themselves.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      And (as Reason points out) they voted to continue federal military giveaways to local police departments like Ferguson’s.

      What have they done, constructively, for the cause they claim to represent?

      1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

        Perpetuate it, thus perpetuating the need for the CBC?

  59. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    She used up all of Healy’s time with a commercial for Friday’s show!

  60. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

    Throw a czar at it?

    An argument for balliste.

  61. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    I believe Massachusetts has the most expensive car insurance. Try driving in Boston to see why.

  62. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Massholes.

  63. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    DC has an excuse. They’re the most important people in the world.

    1. BigT   11 years ago

      DC has an excuse the most self-important people in the world.

  64. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    AH! Lou Dobbs.

  65. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

    The important thing is to be FROM THERE.

  66. GILMORE   11 years ago

    eeek. Dobbs

  67. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    I declare this aftershow stillborn.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      Enjoy this musical interlude instead.

  68. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

    So…

    “The Live Stream will begin soon”

    Have you tried saw palmetto? it helps with the prostate.

  69. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Yeah, I guess not on the aftershow…

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      I thought the stream just didn’t like me.

  70. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

    Well, that was a hell of an aftershow….

    Oreo.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      Wait, the stream is showing for some people?

      1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

        I caught the tail end….yes.

  71. GILMORE   11 years ago

    This is what they do when Matt and Kmele get into knife fights.

    it happens! more often than you think. matt’s partial to the stilleto, while Kmele is more a karambit-style fighter.

  72. userve32   11 years ago

    Sounds like a prett y solid plan dude. Wow.

    http://www.AnonCrypt.tk

  73. widget   11 years ago

    President Barack Obama’s speech at the American Legion.

    The link to the speech is above. The length is 38 minutes. I listened to the first 2 minutes and then clicked again ahead to the 36 minute mark. He is still speaking. He really does speak for 38 minutes at a time. Some snarking hacker should put the Gettysburg Address on his teleprompter just to see how long it takes for him to read it.

    1. Agammamon   11 years ago

      Eh, they should be used to it.

      My experience says that the higher ranks *love* to hear themselves talk. Usually it goes like this just before a major holiday,

      Get into formation and wait 10 minutes for the senior command to show up.

      Then the SEL (CMC/SgtMJR) talks for 10 minutes.

      Then the XO gets up and talks for 15

      Then the CO gets up and talks for 20

      Then you break and reform by department.

      While waiting for the DH to show up you get to listen to your LPO, LCP, and DivO go on and on.

      Then the Dept LCPO has to give his two cents.

      Then the Department Head.

      By this point you’re just so fucking exhausted form listening to these people drone on that you don’t even want to do anything.

      Kinda like this post.

  74. PapayaSF   11 years ago

    Term of the day: OOBOOs (offended on behalf of others).

  75. Paul.   11 years ago

    Congressional Black Caucus calls for a federal police czar.

    *facepalm*

  76. userve32   11 years ago

    Dude makes a ll kinds of sense dude. Wow.

    http://www.CryptAnon.tk

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