Tonight on The Independents: Are You Scared of ISIL? Also, Rand Calls out Hillary's Hawkishness, Burger King Wears a Toque, Everyone Apologies for Everything (Except Suge Knight), and Enlightening Aftershow!

Tonight's live episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network, 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, with re-airs three hours later) will contain many different bites at the same rancid apple that is the Islamic State (ISIL).

Taking first crack will be Party Panelists Michael Malice (totalitarian-hating ghostwriterly impazoid) and Brian Morgenstern (a Republican who dabbles in comedy, or vice-versa), who together will address the question of should we be scared of these awful people? (The duo will also assess Rand Paul's weekend bashing of Hillary Clinton, and the ritual apology by Henry Rollins for daring to say something mildly controversial about suicide.) The Blaze national security chief Buck Sexton will assess the various and expanding ideas about what the United States will bomb next in and around ISIL-controlled territory, and the British conservative commentator Nile Gardiner will discuss how the hell London became a breeding ground for Islamic beheadists.

Did you hear the one about how "The inversion virus spreads as Burger King seeks to flee to Canada"? (Yes, they write headlines like that at my former place of work!) Well, Scott Hodge of The Tax Foundation will explain why he hates patriotism and so forth. And Kmele Foster will break the news that Suge Knight is still not dead,

Online-only aftershow begins at foxbusiness.com/independents just after 10. Follow The Independents on Facebook at facebook.com/IndependentsFBN, follow on Twitter @ independentsFBN, and click on this page for more video of past segments.

Comments

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

FOE be nimble
FOE be quick
FOE jump over the candlestick…and not be first.

[Hyperion]

It only counts on links. Just ask FOE.

[Fist of Etiquette]

JUST ASK ANYONE.

None of this matters to me anyway.

[Hyperion]

But, it’s your legacy, forever more…

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Blah, blah…

[Fist of Etiquette]

I better not find moose meat in my Whopper.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

When in Rome…

[GILMORE]

That’s what she said

[Hyperion]

But, moose is delicious!

[Headless Body of Agnew]

Guten Tag.

[Hyperion]

NOOO!!!! Not ISIL, it’s ISIS, that’s way scarier! You war mongers are never gonna get public support for another war unless you use the scariest words along with the scariest images!

Who the fuck is scared of ISIL? It sounds like an old women’s bingo club, or a new brand of tampons, fer the sake of bejeebus!

[GILMORE]

^^^ X10,000 itchy crotches

[Hyperion]

Buck Sexton

If he ain’t a porn star, he’s got the wrong name, or the wrong career.

[Hyperion]

British conservative commentator Nile Gardiner will discuss how the hell London became a breeding ground for Islamic beheadists.

Really, no one has figured this out yet? Also, beheadists? Is that a real word? Reaches for dictionary…

[Rev-Match]

Reaches for dictionary…

There’s an app for that.

[Hyperion]

So you think that just any nut can make a dictionary on the intertoobs? Bah!

[Sudden]

Really, no one has figured this out yet?

True Scotsmen never speak ill of immigration.

[userve32]

I say off with that dudes head at once!

http://www.AnonCrypt.tk

[mr lizard]

I didn’t know Anonbot was part of French aristocracy.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I’ve been listening to Henry Rollins’ work. He seems like such a well-adjusted man!

[GILMORE]

He used to be cool

[SForza]

I like the Buzzcocks, the Ramones, Joy Division, the Misfits, the Dead Kennedys, and even the Dead Milkmen and the Sex Pistols, but I can’t fucking stand Black Flag. I wanna like ’em– I practically grew up in their backyard– but they just sound awful to me,

[GILMORE]

I INSIST:

IF YOU CALL IT “ISIL“, THE TERRORISTS WIN

ISIL = Anti-Itch Cream.

ISIS = EVIL MOTHERFUCKERS WHO WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Also, the white house has chosen ISIL, therefore is wrong.

[Hyperion]

ISIL = Anti-Itch Cream.

ISIS = EVIL MOTHERFUCKERS WHO WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Yeah, that sounds right. Looks like by calling them ISIL, we’ve done neutered them bitches. Wars over, let’s move on, there’s more war mongerin to do somewhere.

[Hyperion]

I mean can you imagine if a big L libertarian was president and was dealing with ISIL as opposed to our current cowardly leadership?

Current cowardly leadership: Well, we totally respect your religion and if any, you know, funny guys make any videos and put on youtube making fun of you, they will be immediately arrested. And also, we realized that you Muslims have made every discovery and advance in science since the beginning of time. Therefore, we’re diverting all of our NASA’s budget away from space travel in favor of Muslim outreach.

New Libertarian leadership: So why did you guys name your movement after a feminine anti-itch cream, you fucking pussies?

[Headless Body of Agnew]

Now I get it. Very Angry Girls Insistently Slaying Infidel Layabouts?

[Hyperion]

Ah, those good old days when we had politicians with names like Spiro T Agnew, Richard Millhouse Nixon, Henry Kissenger. And they were even all of them, ugly as their names and no one cared! The good ol days…

[Headless Body of Agnew]

Do you realize my handle is a stupid Futurama reference and not an endorsement of RMN and his administration?

[Hyperion]

I wasn’t really thinking about it, but ok, I got it now.

[Headless Body of Agnew]

Peace.

I’m keen on an acronym contest. How to make the Jihadi threat look stupid in translation. My entry is above.

[Headless Body of Agnew]

It’s your joke after all.

[Headless Body of Agnew]

“ISIL = Anti-Itch Cream.”

A google search of “ISIL cream” gave me Police arrest possible ISIL-affiliated ice cream seller.

I must shop at a different drugstore.

[SusanM]

Does Rand Paul do particle physics and play guitar as well?

[GILMORE]

+1 Buckaroo

[Hyperion]

No, nor does he walk on water or play golf while Rome burns. He’s just an ordinary guy. It could be a long time before we are blessed with another black jeebus.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Prediction: Nothing.

[BigT]

Green snakeskin blouse!!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Terrorist, rapper…what’s the diff?

[Fist of Etiquette]

British terrorists’ balls aren’t getting past the TSA.

[Derpetologist]

Tales from the Derp

I got in an argument at the secular meet-up about the corporations-are-people thing. Her position was that a corporation cannot have religious or political views because they are not people. I said that you can’t have a corporation unless people are involved at some point. Corporations don’t just appear. They are started and run by people. She said you can a defunct corporation that isn’t doing business. OK, says I, but you can’t have an active corporation unless people are involved.

[Hyperion]

Next question: Is government people?

[Derpetologist]

That’s good. I’ll bring that up next time.

What I should have asked: if corporations are not people, does that mean the New York Times does not have freedom of the press?

[Headless Body of Agnew]

I recall a conversation I had with a bunch of people talking about biodiesel. They bounced around news of who was doing what in the scene, and it sputtered out with a shrug that “the corporations will just take it over.” Unthinkable that an expanding corporation might be a better means of expanding the market of something they believe to be good for the environment? None of them even considered that they themselves might lead the corporation that leads the expansion of the sector?

It’s economic hipsterism. I was all for keeping a bio-diesel still in my basement until pickup drivers could pump it at the Stop’n’Go 24/7.

[Sloth Fratelli]

19th century classical liberals were not nearly as friendly to corporations as their libertarian intellectual spawn in 2014; they correctly viewed corporations as creatures of the state.

One can argue that a group of people pooling resources toward a common purpose or commercial interest can still retain political or religious beliefs. Very hard to do so when the state steps in and grants them the privilege of limited liability, well unless it’s become part of your “libertarian” dogma.

[GILMORE]

” a corporation cannot have religious or political views “

Really?

She needs to explain this to ‘The Christian Broadcasting Network‘ and those people that make hot-dogs

[HazelMeade]

My standard reply:

The same people are always anxious that corporations “have a social conscience”.

How the fuck are corporations supposed to have a social conscience if they don’t have religious and political views?

The whole problem is that these people don’t think corporations should be allowed to hold *those particular* religious views. They are totally fucking OK when hold views like “breast Cancer is Bad” and “Please Recycle”.

[Headless Body of Agnew]

Nicely said.

[Fist of Etiquette]

What the hell is Welch weari-

WHAT THE HELL IS FOSTER WEARING?

[Hyperion]

I’m afraid to look.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Dragon-lady Kennedy.

[Rev-Match]

Kennedy’s dress is what happened to that dinosaur that kid shot in his story.

[BigT]

I better adjust the color on my TV – OUCH

[GILMORE]

What is the opposite of a ‘Trifecta’

[BigT]

A trifukdup

[GILMORE]

I like. I will save this for future reference

[Francisco d'Anconia]

My local paper said ISIS was the biggest threat since 911 today.

I’m ascared.

[Hyperion]

We haven’t seen nothin as scary in decades! NEEDS MOAR WARZ!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Wait, work with Syria?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

How does one get the last name “Malice”?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Malice? Absenceof Malice? He owes me money.

[GILMORE]

Its pronounced “ma-lee-chay”

[Notorious G.K.C.]

In Prague, eh? Ask your hotel for a ground-floor room.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Losing? Lost! About 13 years ago.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Apparently Welch didn’t notice that white flag or two someone was able to hoist over the Ole You Ess of Eh.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

The Independents: 70’s Game Show Host Edition

[Fist of Etiquette]

Separation of church and state means we can’t use religion as a criteria for anything!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

No, there isn’t.

[Derpetologist]

I read a pretty dumb op-ed from some general on CNN. He was in charge of a couple of divisions in northern Iraq in 2007-2008. Here was his great wisdom:

The situation is complicated and it’s ultimately up to the people who live there.

Top. Men.

[GILMORE]

FUCK YOU MALICE I SAY THEY’RE ZOROASTRIAN!! THEY WORSHIP ZORO!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Yeah, well armed, thanks, Kurds and Iraqis.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Crazy idea. Don’t visit countries where they cut your head off.

[BigT]

What works? Napalm and daisy cutters.

[Fist of Etiquette]

If they’re changing alliances do we want them as refugees?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Derp.

[Rev-Match]

LEAVE HILLARY ALONE! SHE’S POOR AND YOU HATE WOMEN!

[Hyperion]

I only hate poor women with cankles. So, yeah, I hate her, but it’s not her fault.

[Atanarjuat]

“Hillary Clinton is America’s mother-in-law.”

QFMFT

[Hyperion]

Well that would take mother-in-laws being evil to an entire new level.

[BigT]

So these guests are scripted? That’s very disappointing

[GILMORE]

Who’s Bob’s Big Boy over here?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Kill em all and let Zod sort em out.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Matt Welch thinks rappers are weird.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

She’s got a big dick.

[Derpetologist]

I read that during the first Gulf war, the US warned Saddam that if he used chemical weapons, the US hinted they would retaliate with nuclear weapons.

Bush’s letter said that the “United States will not tolerate the use of chemical or biological weapons or the destruction of Kuwait’s oil fields…. You and your country will pay a terrible price if you order unconscionable acts of this sort.” Baker issued a stronger and more explicit verbal warning, telling Aziz that if Iraq used chemical or biological weapons, “The American people will demand vengeance. And we have the means to exact it…. [T]his is not a threat, it is a promise.” He then warned that if such weapons were used, the American “objective would not be the liberation of Kuwait, but the elimination of the current Iraqi regime.”

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/a…..al_weapons

[Hyperion]

The only thing that I can see actually making the USA use nuclear weapons again, would be if something like a free enterprise zone city would spring up in Honduras or some other country like is being talked about, and become wildly successful. If that happens, then the US will definitely use nukes if necessary to end the experiment. Otherwise, probably not.

[GILMORE]

The Independents Attire Review, 25 August 2014

“And If You Promise To Be Nice, We’ll Give it Back“-Edition

– Kennedy: “Evil Green-Dragon Lady” does not frighten us, because she lacks the gigantic golden poison-tipped nails, and smoking incense-sticks in her hair that would be needed for her superpowers to be fully activated. We caveat that her ability to Spit Poison actually has nothing to do with what she’s wearing and is just a natural gift.

– Matt: “Formula” sans the Pink Shirt. We never really liked it. This suit would actually work better using a lower intensity color tie with the white shirt, like maroon, or light brown/bronze things. Its a very neutral shade of suit and it gets overpowered a bit by the tie unless its mixed with the pink.

– Kmele: Our least favorite of the Plaid formulas – the Tricolor jobby w/ black. Meh.

If anything, a trifecta-of-failure is something worthy of note *if only for its synchronicity*. Its the worst Power Trio since Sleater-Kinney

c’est moi qui vous remercie

[GILMORE]

I just want to note for future reference = I googled “Worst Power trio of all time” and got “Rush”.

I chose Sleater-Kinney because i thought it would be less offensive. But I’m pretty sure matt AND kennedy probably like them, and for the record, i’m OK with them as far as that thing goes… (breeders? ugh. 90s chick rock was old before the 90s were over. and dont even make me think Le Tigre)

If i’d put more time in, I would have said, “Sublime” or “Green Day”.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is that Frank Frazetta?

[Derpetologist]

In Las Vegas, many church-goers will put poker chips in the collection plate. The Catholic Church gets so many of them that they have a special monastery outside the city that collects and sorts the chips. Then, they take them to the casinos to cash them. These workers are known as Chip Monks.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Well, what do you know, it’s not true, but

“It is true that one church in Las Vegas, the Shrine of the Most Holy Redeemer, once had a Franciscan friar on staff who made the rounds of casino cages and thus, in the fashion of the joke, he was dubbed “the chip monk.””

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jo…..B1ZqXgY.99

[Homple]

And then there were the Cistercians who prepared products for Mrs. Paul: the Fish Frisrs.

[Homple]

Friars.

[Fist of Etiquette]

No one is going to stop the Sexton juggernaut.

[BigT]

Libya has 2 mommies.

[Hyperion]

Is that the new NeoCon hairdo?

[Atanarjuat]

Not really new. He looks like a college Republican, or maybe a young Newt Gingrich. Seems pretty well-spoken and knowledgeable though.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Jesus Christ.

Quit it with Canada and ‘freedom loving.’

Have you seen the recent government’s stance on marijuana?

Canada lowers its corp tax rates because it needs to attract businesses in order to maintain its social safety welfare order because god knows we ain’t doing it through entrepreneurship.

[Homple]

Hey, Steyn and Levant helped get rid of the hate speech star chambers. That’s something, isn’t it?

[Cytotoxic]

No they did not. We only got rid of Section 13.

[Hyperion]

Kennedy has done and skinned herself a green lizard.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

She is the lizard queen, she can do anything.

[Hyperion]

This is why she’s the boss. I mean, look at Matt and Kmele, the dweebs, does anyone think those guys can skin a green lizard?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Ray Manzarek and John Densmore

[Hyperion]

I keep imagining how we could put Matt’s jacket and Kmele’s shirt on the same guy, and behold! THE SUPER DWEEB!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

And try and say something in Canada. You’ll have the cocksucking unelected CRTC and the tyrants in the Human Rights Commission on your ass in seconds. It’s worse in Quebec if you dare express yourself in English on a business sign.

Ask Mark Steyn.

[BigT]

Keep up the rant Firefly!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Bah.

[Cytotoxic]

Yeah but our cops are less savage than yours.

[Acosmist]

The cops in Quebec are savage?

[Atanarjuat]

I am fairly drunk.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Unfair.

[Headless Body of Agnew]

How can you be unfairly drunk?

[Atanarjuat]

Fist just thinks it’s unfair he can’t drink right now, since he’s flying a commercial airliner.

[gaijin]

all your bucks are belong to us

/dotgov

[Fist of Etiquette]

This just in: Fox Business show wants tax cuts for corporations!

[Homple]

Get rid of corporate taxes period, tax incidence and all thst. Businesses don’t pay taxes; they collect taxes.

[Derpetologist]

So I found this gem:

http://www.diffen.com/differen…..vs_Fascism

Philosophy

Communism
From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. Free-access to the articles of consumption is made possible by advances in technology that allow for super-abundance.

Fascism
The state must gain glory through constant conquest, aka war. Belief that the past was glorious, and that the State can be renewed. Philosophies varied by country.

Means of control

Communism
Rallies, force, propaganda etc.

Fascism
Force, propaganda, rallies etc.

I say ideologies with identical tactics are identical.

[gaijin]

but…intentions!

[BigT]

That’s not fascism – that was what the Nazis did, but it was not their economic policy. Monarchies also try to recover faded glory.

[Sloth Fratelli]

I say ideologies with identical tactics are identical.

That’s a little over-simplistic; every tyrannical ideology of the modern world has the same general tactics. but I’d agree the above author utterly whiffed on his/her description of the philosophies. Fascism at its heart has nothing to do with conquest or war, nor does communism have anything to do with technological advance.

It is cute that they wised up and permuted the “means of control” when they turned out to be identical.

[Hyperion]

Communism
Free-access to the articles of consumption is made possible by advances in technology that allow for super-abundance

This is from The Onion, right?

[Derpetologist]

Yeah…

The old Soviet joke was that if communists took over the Sahara, there’d be a shortage of sand.

[Hyperion]

Well, how do these corporations expect that our government can spend 2 trillion dollars a year on shit if we don’t have the worlds highest tax rate? Evil greedy bastards.

[gaijin]

say it again….corporations don’t pay taxes…they collect them.

[BigT]

They took our jobs – by lowering taxes!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Congratulations, that was the lamest Canadian joke ever!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Bubblebutts? Where’s HM?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfu5qSdezXQ

[Fist of Etiquette]

Kennedy raided the Big Trouble in Little China wardrobe.

[gaijin]

it works, no?

[Fist of Etiquette]

You can seldom go wrong copying Kim Cattrall.

[Sudden]

Pre-SITS Kim Cattrall that is…

[Sudden]

Pre-SITS

That should read Pre-SITC but I’m functionally retarded today.

[gaijin]

SATC…not that it matters

[Fist of Etiquette]

I always thought it was Sex and the City.

[Sudden]

Whatever it was, it was too awful for me to actually get it correct.

That show ruined an entire generation of women. There is no femininity or chastity to be found among the wretched wenches of this world. It’s now hate fucking all the way down.

Fortunately, that’s probably the type of sex I’m best at.

[Atanarjuat]

WINNER

The Cobra Kai segment was pretty trippy. So she just happened to have that outfit waiting for a snake story?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Say “What’s in your wallet, again. Say it one more fuckin time muthafucker!”

[Francisco d'Anconia]

That was a punctuation abortion.

[Fist of Etiquette]

How did we find out about this guy’s complaints?

[Rev-Match]

It is NOT a subsidy if you earn it through voluntary exchange, Kennedy!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I thought Kemle would take the old guy’s side against the kid.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The old man is that neighborhood’s Hamas.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That’s pure, lemon flavored multiplier.

[Rev-Match]

If life gives you lemons, find someone who’s life has given them vodka, and have a party. – Ron white

[Fist of Etiquette]

The snake died, too.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Cobra venom is nasty stuff.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Giraffe meat is very tough. So I was told by a friend.

[BigT]

Yes, but not as tough as elephant. I visited a restaurant that served 102 different animals in S Africa. There’s a reason we eat pigs, cows, lambs, and chickens.

[SIV]

Black bear is pretty good. Tastes just like greasy pot roast with a hint of pleasant gamieness.

[Hyperion]

All I can say, is that if you are ever in Brazil and someone offers you bode, pronounced ‘bah-gee’, do not eat it, unless you like chewing on shoe leather. It’s goat and it’s fucking awful.

[Derpetologist]

Mishikaki (goat shish kabobs) are pretty good.

[Hyperion]

Maybe some folks know how to feed the goats? Not sure, but my first experience with goat? Chewy and awful.

[Heroic Mulatto]

You had the wrong goat. Done right, goat can be sublime.

[SIV]

Cabrito is what you want. Baby goat is the best.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Cardassians, not Kardasians.

[Fist of Etiquette]

As long as they quiet as they tweeted.

[GILMORE]

Oh diss.

Common went downhill after Ressurection

[Atanarjuat]

Tow the what?

[Fist of Etiquette]

TOO SOON, BRITAIN.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

It’s not as if the British embassy has any real business to transact. If Kerry wants to communicate with the British, he just texts his counterpart in London –

“bombs away in Iraq?”

“sure”

“we’re such bffs”

[Notorious G.K.C.]

It’s an expandable pocket flashlight!

Wait, wrong product.

[HazelMeade]

Am I scared of ISIL?

Maybe just a little.
I think I could avoid being killed by ISIL pretty easily, just by not travelling in certain parts of the Muslim world.
Of course, the parts of the Muslim world one might be hesitant to travel have been getting a bit bigger.

As in I would be a bit hestitant to spend a lot of time in Cairo or Jordan. Fifteen years ago , I would not have been. There’s no way I would go to Syria or Iraq. (Fifteen yeas ago those would be undesirable, but not totally out of the question). I would likely avoid Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and probably the rest of the gulf states.
Basically, islamism makes certain parts of the world places where Westerners simply can’t go. That hasn’t been the case for probably hundreds of years.

What I’m more afraid of isn’t getting killed by ISIL, it’s that the instability in the middle east will do bad things to the world economy, which will make my life worse off in subtle ways. And that if they are left unchecked, those bad things will get worse and worse.

[Hyperion]

A name is everything. You start a business with the wrong name, and you are screwed, no matter how good your product. They would have stuck with ISIS, damn scary. ISIL? Really? That’s not scary.

[Rorschach Carlyle]

I thought cosmotarians weren’t afraid of anything except homophobes, xenophobes and raaaacists.

[Timon 19]

Yemen would be a no-go, and Saudi would only be particular areas, but the UAE? Come on. That place is harmless, unless you’re a British couple openly having drunken sex on a beach (and then it is very bad indeed). Oman is a humble version of the UAE, but complete with awesome native residents. Qatar isn’t much to be concerned with. Bahrain is a bit sketchy. Most of Jordan would be OK. Most of Turkey is bleedin’ outstanding. Kuwait is probably all right, but boring as fuck.

Iraq, Syria, and the poor parts of Cairo would be right out, but much of the rest of Egypt wouldn’t be so bad.

[HazelMeade]

IIRC Qatar funds ISIL.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Oh yeah? Ask Major General Edward Pakenham what his country burning the White House got him and his redcoats in the end at New Orleans.

Oh, you can’t, because they got slaughtered by Andrew Jackson.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Try singing this to a rap beat:

http://www.galafilm.com/1812/e…..leans.html

[Heroic Mulatto]

+1 a little bacon and a little beans

[Rev-Match]

use the Torchlight to light up those dark, unlit areas

“Lights”. What are they?

[Fist of Etiquette]

No. Robin Williams has pretty much left the news cycle.

[gaijin]

I’m so very sorry that I am not sorry.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Disappointed in Rollins.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Got no problem with suicide. I figure they have their reasons.

[Derpetologist]

So, I read that Robin Williams ended up paying around $36 million in alimony and child support. That is enough to spend $1000 a night on hookers for 92 years.

John Cleese also got taken to the cleaners by his ex-wives. He said: “I adore lemurs. They’re extremely gentle, well-mannered, pretty and yet great fun … I should have married one.”

[gaijin]

I dont think Harry has had an unaided straight wong in years.

[GILMORE]

Is the idea that everyone needs to be “nice” all the time?

“Nice” FWIW, used to be a disparaging term

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yeah, I don’t care about what Reid said there.

[GILMORE]

Brian uses skin cream, and may therefore be a serial killer

[Rufus J. Firefly]

But if Bush had said it…

[GILMORE]

Suicide. If its good enough for Socrates and Hemingway, then Fuck Critics.

[BigT]

Racist jokes in the after show – maybe not a snooze fest, at last.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

So these Poles went to a bowling alley to attack some black people, and one of the Poles said, “quick-get the eggs!”

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Why does the new Polish navy have glass-bottomed boats?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

So they can see the old Polish navy.

[BigT]

Why did they invent the wheelbarrow?

– To teach Polaks to walk on their hind legs.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

That guy has a British accent.

TERRORIST!

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Brits are bloody embarrassed by the beheading. It was not very sporting.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Almost like it’s not cricket?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Or his cup of tea.

[Homple]

Not quite the done thing, old chep.

[GILMORE]

That man’s power suit would gives John McCain an erection

[GILMORE]

remove “would”

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What are the embarrassed about? They’ve let PC go wild. What the fuck did they think was going to happen? Jesus Christ, they had terrorists Islamists behead their own ON THEIR SOIL.

[Derpetologist]

Racist jokes?

Why are black people good at basketball?
Because it involves running, shooting, & stealing.

What’s black and blue and floats down the river?
A Jew who tells Italian jokes.

A Korean and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane. The rabbi turns to the Korean and says “I’ll never forgive you Chinese people for what you did at Pearl Harbor.” The Korean says “That was the Japanese, not the Chinese. And besides, I’m not Chinese or Japanese, I’m Korean.” The rabbi says “Chinese, Japanese, Korean- what’s the difference?” The Korean says “I’ll never forgive you Jews for what you did to the Titanic.” The rabbi says “What?! The Titanic wasn’t sunk by Jews; it hit an iceberg.” The Korean says “iceberg, Greenberg, Goldberg- what’s the difference?”

[PapayaSF]

How to Get Rid of an Anthill

Buy a can of black spray paint, and spray the anthill and all the ground around it. Get the paint on as many ants as possible, too. Soon the ants will think they’re black and living in a black neighborhood, and stop working and kill each other.

(And there go my hopes for elective office!)

[GILMORE]

A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK!
DADDY’S LITTLE INFIDEL-BEHEADER

[Hyperion]

You know, maybe the limeys should have thought about it a little more before importing a zillion muslims and at the same time making masculinity a crime. Just sayin.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Tolerant code for…soft.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Kennedy is making it hard for me to say:

Kennedy it’s The Independents. Not The Interruptions!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Did you hear the one about the Sumerian?

He was very stupid.

/Phonecian cuneiform tablet, as reported by Dave Barry.

[Fist of Etiquette]

THERE’S NO TIME FOR KEEPING IT KMELE!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Rap-sputin, good one!

[Derpetologist]

Kennedy last wore that shirt on May 21st.

http://reason.com/blog/2014/05…..nt_4528088

[GILMORE]

I’m amazingly consistent

“. It needs oversized fake-gold fingernails dripping poison, a tongue spike, and a lot of incense burning around her. “

it made an impression

[Hyperion]

DERBZZZZ!!!!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

No, don’t cut off the stream just before the racist jokes!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Boots on the ground in Syria. Take that, Syria.

[GILMORE]

Who says, “Collateral Damage? Maximise that.”

because when people say they mean to ‘minimize’ it the question is always, “what was the other option again?”

[Fist of Etiquette]

I like when the aftershow stream shits the bed and you have to refresh the page, you must watch the commercial again. But not tonight!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Spoke too soon.

[GILMORE]

Speaking of ISIS assets, they have money flowing via the UAE.

Step #1 could be = ban any transactions via these institutions until the freeze assets owned by anyone associated w/ ISIS

the fact we haven’t means we haven’t even officially designated them a Terrorist group yet because *we don’t want to get all tied up fighting them*

(because we want them to overthrow Assad before we kill them all)

[GILMORE]

Noted here

“ISIS gains in Iraq present an opportunity for Washington to tighten counter-terrorism financing cooperation with Saudi Arabia and other Gulf states, whose concerns about ISIS terrorist threats on their soil are deepening. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew’s visit last week to Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates — the closest U.S. partners on this issue in the Gulf — is a positive step. Another constructive move would be to gauge the potential for altering Washington’s contentious dynamics with Kuwait and Qatar regarding terrorism financing. There are signs that ISIS “successes” may fuel higher levels of private Saudi and other Gulf support to a variety of Sunni extremist groups operating in Iraq and Syria, which would be important to counter.

At the same time, the current reality — that of ISIS acquiring major independent sources of income — demands a counter-terrorism financing approach that shifts away from focusing on private donations made by residents of Saudi Arabia and other Gulf countries. Significantly undermining ISIS’s financial base would now require rolling back the group’s access to local Syrian and Iraqi income sources.”

That we have not yet even tried this before talking about “bombing” shows some seriously deep-fucked-up conflicting issues going on

[PapayaSF]

It’s hard to quickly stop mass slaughter by interfering with their financing.

[Cyto]

Isn’t one of their major forms of financing kidnapping europeans for ransom? How do you cut that off if you are the President of the USA?

[GILMORE]

if you go to three different sources you will find 3 different “main sources of financing” for ISIS
– some claim its oil from regions under their control
– some claim its from extortion/kidnapping
– some claim its control of utilities in syria
– insert a half dozen more

everything any complex org does, no matter what the sources, utilizes institutions as agencies. regardless of *what or how* they support themselves, the US has enormous leverage over international financial institutions that could severely restrict them if needed.

We have, for whatever reason, left them more-alone in this regard than other ‘terror’ groups. there is no clear explanation why.

The most simple (as far as i can tell) is that we like keeping them alive in syria.. but NOT iraq.

We’re in a position where we’re working against our own policies re: Assad and Iran. Its a total shit show.

[PapayaSF]

That’s one of the ways. Convincing them to end that practice would be good. I imagine Obama going to the UN to ask for a worldwide ban on paying ransom… Yeah, that’ll happen.

[Atanarjuat]

He’ll never become President Foster wearing that ugly-ass shirt.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Shot at the Post Office from out of nowhere.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

The stream is down, I can’t see the racist jokes, how am I supposed to be, uh, outraged at them?

Let’s see…so, a Polack, an Irishman and a Frenchman walk into a bar, and the Frenchman has a small piano…no, the Irishman has a duck on his head…confound it, it’s just not the same!

[GILMORE]

not one racist joke so far.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Wow, that joke about the black girl with sickle cell seemed more inspirational than funny. Where’s the punch line?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

This American Red Cross outfit needs to get better comedians.

[GILMORE]

MATT BLAMES AP FOR “ISIL”

Oh, Come ON,

[Headless Body of Agnew]

Oh I get it it, Vagisil.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ask not what your interruption can do for you, ask what you can do for your interruption.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Logic dictates the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They chickened out of doing the racist jokes.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Like a Frog with a white flag.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Like a Frog with a white flag.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Like a Flog with a white frag.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

So typical for a…a…Romanian!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I’ve never been so disappointed…I mean relieved…at the aftershow being so substantive!

[GILMORE]

She beat the cut-off by suddenly speeding up.

She knows their tricks now

[Sudden]

So there are pro-Maduro protesters downstairs my building right now. I kinda wanna do something insanely Kochtopus down there.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Yell “I am Cornholio, I need TP for my bunghole!” They’ll stampede in search of the toilet paper.

[GILMORE]

Who what where?

Los Angeles?

Are you kidding

[Sudden]

Well, after going back down to walk my dog and seeing the protest fizzle, I looked around at the various signs and shirts and utilized my limited spanish skills. I was able to find three possible protests in one: many a “Maduro” shirt, several signs contra Mexican president Niesto (recognized words were “traitor” and “he sold mexico”, so I’m assuming regarding Niesto’s oil reforms, which are just contracting with foreign companies that know how to do it competently, not even an actual denationalisation), and several calls for immigration reform in the states.

Two of those are the only reason I pause at the third.

[GILMORE]

this is a level of retard unknown even in NYC

which is saying something

[BuSab Agent]

Hell is frozen! Cop may be held responsible for Puppycide. Course it’s a cop dog….

[PapayaSF]

US Furious After Source Of “Mystery” Libya Bombing Raids Revealed

You know you’re living in a strange future when there are “mysterious” air raids. Spoiler: Egypt (bankrupt and nearing starvation but with a kinda-sorta air force) plus UAE (hyper-rich weaklings).

[GILMORE]

“The United States, the officials said, was caught by surprise: Egypt and the Emirates, both close allies and military partners, acted without informing Washington or seeking its consent, leaving the Obama administration on the sidelines.”

I’ve mentioned before that the most significant sign of eroded US diplomatic power being that ‘people are willing to openly cross us’/make us look bad

When Israel says, “Fuck off, US Secretary of State”, and these Arab-client states start acting unilaterally without informing us? (btw – two ‘tied’ issues) We’ve got Zero pull with anyone.

Russia is laughing up a storm watching this.