Marijuana

Argument Against Medical Marijuana in Florida: If You Give a Rapist a Pot Cookie…

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No on 2

The campaign against Amendment 2, Florida's medical marijuana initiative, warns that letting patients buy cannabis-infused edibles will lead to date rape. You may wonder: Exactly how would that work? Judging from a new No on 2 ad (right), the date rapist would follow these steps:

1. Get a doctor's recommendation allowing him to obtain marijuana for treatment of a "debilitating medical condition" (defined here).

2. Get a date.

3. Buy a marijuana-infused chocolate-chip cookie from a dispensary.

4. Take the date to a picnic where similar-looking chocolate-chip cookies are being served on a red-and-white checked tablecloth.

5. Slip the pot cookie onto the pile of regular cookies when the date is not looking.

6. Offer the date a cookie.

7. Make sure she takes the right cookie.

8. If she refuses, insist that she eat the cookie; force it down her throat if necessary.

9. Wait a couple of hours.

10. Pounce.

Or something like that. You may be thinking: Wouldn't it be easier to get the date drunk or slip her a sedative? You may also be thinking: Marijuana-infused baked goods have been around for a long time. People even have been known to make their own with marijuana purchased on the black market. Why is it we are only hearing about this pot-cookie date-rape menace now? Possibly because recent polling indicates that 88 percent of Floridians support medical marijuana, and the No on 2 folks are desperate to turn public opinion around by any means necessary. Judging from the overwhelmingly negative reaction on the group's Facebook page, where the ad debuted on Saturday, the scare tactics may be backfiring. 

NEXT: Another Confrontation Potentially Brewing in Ferguson (UPDATE: Police Fire on Citizens)

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  1. Clearly this person has never smoked weed.

    1. Hey, they watched Reefer Madness. What more do they need to know?

  2. Legislation by overactive imagination. I like it. Let’s ban the poaching of unicorns while we’re at it.

    1. How many unicorns have you run into lately? See? Clearly an endangered species!

    2. Poaching is out. The new thing is to cook your unicorns Sous-Vide.

  3. You may be thinking: Wouldn’t it be easier to get the date drunk or slip her a sedative?

    Actually, as a non-Chester, I was thinking how boring having sex with someone unconscious would be, rather than considering which methods would be more effective but YMMV.

    1. Chester-the-Molester !!!

  4. We seem to have already invented 2 new HyR memes.

    – Rape Cookies
    – Unicorn Poachers

    I applaud the idea of both.

    1. Or Unicorn Cookies and Rape Poachers

      1. Oddly enough that’s the name of Steve Smith’s book club.

        1. Funny he always struck me as a Unicorn Rape kinda guy.

          1. Also a Cookie Poacher. Just sayin’.

            1. You know who else poached a cookie?…

      2. Unicorn Raping Cookie Poachers.

        1. Great name for an indie band.

  5. I heard the devil weed makes white wimminz want sex with the negroes.

    1. It’s true! One puff and I was ready to dance with the dark devil!

    2. You know, Suthen, I should be the one to relate the tale of how my parents met.

  6. It’s pretty difficult to come up with the most retarded anti-pot ad considering the competition but I think this one is the new champion.

  7. I’ve got an idea! Let’s slip someone a drug that often makes the uninitiated feel paranoid, and then try to put the moves on them! What could possibly go wrong?

    1. Warty calls that Tuesday

    2. “Acid, the new date rape drug.”

  8. Pot does make you horny. Why that’s bad I’m not sure. But then I’m not a fascist asshole.

  9. You may be thinking: Wouldn’t it be easier to get the date drunk or slip her a sedative?

    Nah, I’m thinking it’d be easiest to dose her with marijuana by simply lighting up a joint and offering it to her.

    ‘Course, I’m not an experienced date-rapist and don’t know how you’re going to dose someone into enough unconciousness/docility that you can have your wicked way with them through *pot*.

    1. “it’d be easiest to dose her with marijuana by simply lighting up a joint and offering it to her.”

      cunning in it’s simplicity

      1. Or, you know… “Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?”

        Works more often than you’d guess.

        1. MDMA…

          Like Billy Dee Williams says about Colt 45 Malt Liquor. “It works every time”

  10. Sounds plausible, dude.

  11. I was curious as to who is opposing and supporting Amendment 2 officially and found a list of both sides on the Amendment 2 Ballotpedia page. Fascinatingly, along with the state’s LP chapter, Florida’s SEIU is supporting it. Opposing it are law enforcement groups, Sheldon Adleson (?) Debbie Wasserman Shultz and what looks like every Republican official in the state.

    1. Are you asking who Adelson is, or why he opposes it?

      He runs casinos in Vegas. He can’t make money off drugs in Vegas if they’re legal in Florida.

      1. I was asking the latter, and I guess that does answer it. I just wondered why he would care whether sick people in Florida can use marijuana or not.

        Now if you could explain why the SEIU supports it…

        1. Have you ever met a service employee that -didn’t- smoke pot?

          1. I see it’s being sold as something nurses and health care service workers support:

            Martha Baker, RN, Vice President of the SEIU Florida State Council, expressed her support for both United for Care and Amendment 2.

            “Amendment 2 is about compassion for patients suffering from debilitating conditions, and that is something our members are proud to stand behind,” said Baker. “Seriously ill patients should not have to expose themselves to prosecution for seeking to obtain the medicine they need to relieve their symptoms, and no physician should have to put their freedom or their license at risk for recommending the use of that medicine.”

            http://www.unitedforcare.org/p….._marijuana

            Something I’ve always wondered about the SEIU, isn’t every occupation that doesn’t manufacture something or physically manipulate the environment a ‘service’ occupation?

            1. Hence the vague name.

              If they aren’t specific, they have a larger pond to fish in with their bullshit.

              1. I guess Workers of the World Unite was taken.

        2. Culture war cuts both ways. If the republicans are taking a party line stance against it (living up to the “Stupid Party” moniker), it’s going to push some donkeys in the right direction.

        3. If you look at Adelson wiki page, you’ll see that he had an addiction problem in his family.

          He’s still on the wrong/fascist side of history but it’s a common mistake to make.

          1. Addiction to marijuana?

            1. Addiction to marijuana?

              If you can be “addicted” to shopping or sex, why not?

              The addiction to power, on the other hand, is base evil.

    2. And Charlie Crist’s current employer (Morgan & Morgan, Esq.) are running commercials in favor.

      1. Crist is listed as a supporter, so it must be popular.

        1. I believe you have the measure of the man.

          1. Why do people hate trial attorney John Morgan, of Morgan and Morgan Orlando, so much?

            1. Because they are the archetypal personal injury, sue your boss, chase the ambulance law firm. Maybe they really are on the side of the people, but they swim with sharks and its hard to see the difference from here. Also, more personally, because John Morgan wants to let the police keep putting poor people in prison for having pot, but thinks his dad would have been a responsible user.

    3. Libertarians + unions vs. Democrats + Republicans + police? The End Times Are Here!

    4. Republicans desperately want to die on this hill. I have to think they know their constituency better than I possibly could, but it seems like such a waste of potential votes to cling to the losing side of this issue. The tide turned ages ago, and it’s washing them out with it.

      1. Yeah, I really don’t get it. There must be too many kickbacks from private prisons to just let it go.

        1. The money/influence still hasn’t shifted. Yet. SEIU and trial lawyers are not where the Republicans raise their money in FL. But I continue to believe that when they see Colorado gain 250M/year in revenue AND see their prison budget fall by 6-8%/year, it won’t take another election cycle to get all the leadership-track state reps to see the light, regardless of party affiliation. The reality of state budgeting is that schools, hospitals, and prisons eat up 85% of the budget. Being able to steal 2-3% of the budget from the prison sector AND have the crime rate decrease will be huge wins.

          1. They will never let the “demand” for prison space drop. The Statists will just find other vague laws to lock up minorities for. Granted legalizing weed puts a temporary dent in their efforts, but they will recoups their “losses” and then some for spite. In fact I bet they will find a way to double the incararation rate until they are back to the norm. Sorry for the nut punch… I hope I am wrong.

          2. I continue to believe that when they see Colorado gain 250M/year in revenue AND see their prison budget fall by 6-8%/year, it won’t take another election cycle to get all the leadership-track state reps to see the light, regardless of party affiliation.

            I agree completely. I am expecting a flood of legalization in the next few years. The States have become just as addicted to filthy lucre as the Feds. Their budgets grow faster than inflation and population and still they want more.

            Here in Oklahoma there is even petitions and candidates running for Governor who support legalization.

      2. Republicans desperately want to die on this hill. I have to think they know their constituency better than I possibly could, but it seems like such a waste of potential votes to cling to the losing side of this issue. The tide turned ages ago, and it’s washing them

        You do know this line of thinking is why the Republicans didn’t get rid of Social Security and Medicare? And will be used to justify not repealing Obamacare?

        1. I think you’re making his point. For the most part, they don’t seem to care about principles, so why die on this hill?

        2. I think you’re making his point. For the most part, they don’t seem to care about principles, so why die on this hill?

          1. Damn squirrels

          2. They seem to think that they’ll lose more votes by opposing pot than by legalizing it I guess. It’s all political expediency.

            1. Oops I meant they’ll “lose more votes by legalizing pot than by opposing it.”

    5. Of course the SoCons are against it

      “John Stemberger, president of the Florida Family Policy Council, said his group and other Christian conservatives oppose the prescription cannabis initiative because he worries it could lead to outright legalization, which has happened in Colorado and Washington. That could lead to more minors using pot.”

      http://www.bradenton.com/2014/…..rylink=cpy

  12. Will the new face of “Date Rape” look like a Cookie?

    (1) Random capitalization is often a symptom of substandard literacy.

    (2) The answer to “Will” or “Does” questions in headlines in media, or in ads like this, is usually “No.”

    1. If reporters are supposed to report the news, why the fuck are they asking me!?

  13. Sounds like Florida should make date rape illegal!

  14. I did not have sexual relations with that cookie.

  15. No Independents thread? My hotel has Fox Business.
    Radley is on touting the virtues of “community policing” and suggesting that police departments might consider hiring a Black officer or two.

  16. Millenial feminism has invaded millenial pot.

    1. We ought to poll millennials to get their reactions to this…

  17. All men are rapist
    some men like pot
    pot is rapist
    QED

    1. Children like cookies
      Pot cookies are child rape

  18. I have it on good authority that there may be some people within the legal community who may or may not give their sheep edible cannabis products. Take that knowledge as you will.

  19. “Where would you rape the Millenium Falcon, anyway?
    Right there; I’ve done it.”

    ~Mr. Plinkett

    “AHAHAHA Rape Jokes! I love ’em!”

    ~Also Mr. Plinkett

    1. What’s funnier, Rape Jokes or Prison Rape Jokes?

      1. It depends on if they are women in prison rape jokes or dudes in prison rape jokes.

        1. Or if your in prison at the time.

          1. you’re

            Also – Especially if its your cellmate who is telling them.

  20. Sounds like a prett ycrazy idea dude.

    http://www.AnonWays.tk

  21. I’m still waiting for my artisanal organic fair trade living wage transmale femsplained pot from Outer Mongolia.

  22. And how come there have been no cracks about Kevin McCarthy for being a pod person? I am teh disappoint.

  23. My mind filled in the headline, “…and he’ll rape for a day. Teach him to make pot brownies, and he’ll rape for his life.”

    Isn’t that how Steve Smith got started?

  24. So can anyone explain why Canadians love Obama so much? Even more than their own politicians?

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