Biden Lands in Ukraine as Violence and Hostage-Takings Resume


Vice President Joe Biden arrived in Ukraine today amid renewed violence (because, you know, the White House wouldn't want to risk sending someone important to a hotbed of militant hostage-takers).
One hot topic will be Ukraine's presidential election, which is set for next month. Biden is set to meet tomorrow with the interim president, interim prime minister, members of parliament, and activists.
According to the Associated Press, "a senior administration official…onboard Air Force Two en route to Kiev" said "the vice president also will follow up on recent U.S. commitments of non-lethal security assistance and discuss what more Washington can offer to help." This will cost the U.S. around $3.5 million and will include medical supplies, water purification units, and sleeping mats.
Additionally, Biden will talk about "technical aid," according to Radio Free Europe, with a focus on stepping up Ukraine's domestic energy production. Russia, which is the world's largest exporter of oil and has pipelines running through Ukraine, has been using threats of hiked up prices as leverage in the current crisis.
Despite an agreement struck among various parties in Geneva last Thursday to "de-escalate" the situation, indications of peace were short-lived. Separatists quickly defied the agreement, saying they wouldn't accept anything short of removing the interim leaders from power. Yesterday, three people were killed at a separatist-controlled checkpoint. Russia says Ukrainian nationalists provoked it, while Ukraine's intelligence agency says blame rests solely with the Russians. Time reports another incidence that may escalate tensions further: Pro-Russian militants have kidnapped a journalist, whom they paraded in front of the media.
For more Reason coverage of Ukraine, click here.
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Did he bring his shotgun ?
Sure, to stand on the porch of Ukraine and....
Actually, from watching the Bork hearings, I concluded his teeth should be registered as deadly weapons.
Did Biden ship the Trans Am too?
the White House wouldn't want to risk sending someone important to a hotbed of militant hostage-takers
"Hmm. Would like to send some kind of mission to Ukraine, but man, whoever we send is going to be Target One for militant hostage-takers. Can't be anyone important."
"Nobody important? I've got just the guy."
Makes you wonder if this idea originated from the Clinton camp, just to clear out all possible opposition to Hillary's ascension.
Oh joy, I can't wait until Hillary's fake memories of "dodging sniper fire in Bosnia" are countered by Joe's fake memories of "wrestling Putin while Pooty-poo was riding a bear without a shirt on".
Huh. Biden is initiating violence and hostage-taking? I always saw him and less effective and threatening than that.
He must have brought the shotgun with him then!
He's comic relief. He's the C-3PO of United States foreign policy.
"He's the C-3PO of United States foreign policy"
Stolen!
C-3po was an intelligent, competent linguist and translator. Joe Biden has a mullet.
And people question my theory that we are deliberately trying to start a war with Russia. I mean, not that this administration has a deep bench to send, but my God. This is shameful.
Alt text: "
I am a donut!
Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one season 1 boxed set of House of Cards; one 12 ounce bottle of Heinz Ketchup; one signed copy of 'Dreams From My Father'...
"Shoot, I wish I got Secret Service advance kit with a list of local brothels and gross of condoms in addition."
@Tim & Brett:
+2 mineshaft gaps
Dear Ukraine,
If you like our Vice President, you may keep our Vice President. Please. Trust us, we're not the White House.
Thanks in advance.