Joke Article Earns Writer a Secret Service Interrogation


Comedy is a hard industry. It's even harder when the Secret Service doesn't think your jokes are funny.
That's a lesson that Daniel O'Brien, the head writer at humor website Cracked, learned the hard way. Yesterday, he opened up for the first time about a frightening encounter he had with the feds.
Back in 2009, O'Brien, a history buff, began researching material for a jocular book called How to Fight Presidents. In July of that year, he wrote on his obviously humor-oriented website an obviously satirical article titled "6 Helpful Tips for Kidnapping the President's Daughters."
Soon after, he was on the phone with a member of the Secret Service, Special Agent Mike Powell. Powell said his "job [is] to pay attention when certain … concepts are brought up online," O'Brien recalls. The agent "sounded warm and kind and goofy, like a fun uncle," lulling O'Brien out of a panic attack and explaining that the satirist would have to go chat with some other agents in person.
When O'Brien got there, two humorless individuals he prefers to identify as "Agents Hardass and EatShit" interrogated him. They went joke-by-joke through O'Brien's history as a writer.
Here's some of the exchange:
"In this section you mentioned that you once kidnapped President Carter's daughter, Amy, but that she escaped because you underestimated her ability to swim. You claim you had her on your boat and was astonished to see her, quote, slice through the ocean like a dolphin, like a goddamn dolphin, I swear, end quote. Why did you say that?"
[…]
"I was worried that some readers might think the article was serious, so I wanted to sprinkle in a few super-obviously-fake details to drive that home, so I mentioned owning a boat, which isn't true, and kidnapping Amy Carter, which given my age would have been impossible."
[…]
"In November of 2008," Agent Hardass began, "you wrote about having Pocahontas' actual skeleton stored in your pantry." … "Is that true?" Agent Hardass continued.
This went on for two hours. They asked him if he was involved in any terrorist organizations, to which he replied, no, but that he had been in an a cappella group in college. They demanded the name of it so they could follow up.
O'Brien writes with a lighthearted tone, but the whole situation is a serious example of the chilling effect government surveillance has on people's daily lives and web behavior. He took down the original article, wouldn't even mention it by name in yesterday's follow-up, and noted that he deliberately mentions no living presidents in his book. And still, O'Brien "get[s] stopped and pulled aside at airports five out of six times" he tries to fly.
Tim Cushing of Techdirt suggests that the such behavior flies in the face of claims "that the government (specifically, its intelligence and investigative agencies) isn't interested in your 'emails/phone calls to Grandma' or your 'cat videos'" and that it should serve as a warning to "those who would have honestly felt the government was unconcerned with their internet activities."
Reason contacted O'Brien, who confirmed that although the article is on a humor site, his account of the event is factual.
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"Am I being detain or am I free to go?"
"Do you want to be detained, motherfucker? I'll fucking detain you if that's what you want."
"Do I stand accused of banging your skank mother?"
"Did you see that? He took a swing at me!"
*spits out teeth*
I've had this exchange with interrogators a thousand times in my head. I would have a hard time not making things worse for myself.
"Nothing personal, I don't answer questions without a lawyer present." *shrug*
My astrologer told me never to answer questions from anyone named Agent.
This isn't a chilling effect, this is pure thuggery to shut down even humorous mocking of the King President.
L?se-majest?! Punishment by Praetorian Guard.
L?se-majest?! Punishment by Praetorian Guard.
You can say that again....
Damn these squirrels. They don't let you post one minute and then double post the next.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/slow-cooked-squirrel/
Either the agents didn't know it was a joke, which makes them retarded.
Or the did know it's a joke, which makes them thugs who are trying to intimidate people for the sake of it.
Choose one. And you only get those two to choose from.
And is everyone having the same trouble posting as I am?
yes I have to copy and paste everything I write
How about their boss (or higher) was too stupid to see it was a joke and berated them for even suggesting that it might be a joke?
Then they should have turned in their badges on the spot. These are people's lives they're messing with. And my money they're wasting.
The whole point of seeking out the job is to mess with peoples' lives. They don't give a shit if the people they're messing with did anything wrong. They care about their own personal power, and that's it.
Government attracts a certain type of asshole. LEOs are the dirtiest assholes of all the assholes.
Hey man, tough times make for weak spines.
Cracked IS a reliable news source, right?
I guess this means I better keep my keyboard shut about Teddy Roosevelt watching intently, longingly really, my glorious intimate encounter with Alice Lee in celebration of his Nobel Peace Prize win. We did it on a bear skin rug, in almost bare skin.
SugarFree has already shelved his trilogy of novels about LadyBird Johnson's brothel days.
Nobody likes a quitter. Back to the keyboard.
Fuck the squirrels
It's the other way around right now.
On reason, the fuck squirrels you!
What a website!
Squirrel the fucks!
WHAT ABOUT THE CHILLING EFFECT OF SERVER SQUIRRELS, "REASON"? WHAT ABOUT THAT?
Here's the thing--where's the legal justification for treating such speech as threatening? If the subjects had been people outside of SS protection, the odds are very small that any law enforcement action would be taken at all, especially after the ten seconds it would take even a cop to see that Cracked.com is a humor site.
There is existing law that fairly clearly requires speech to incite or cause imminent lawless action. This idea that there's a magical exception for presidents is, frankly, highly offensive.
My understanding is that if anyone fingers you for a threat to the Royal Family the SS is obligated to follow it up.
No, I understand that it's the practice. I just question it's legality. It's another thing altogether if there's a reasonable possibility of a threat (which would be true if a little person were involved), but that's not even close to the case here.
Yeah, but if it weren't for the actions of the noble yet troubled Clint Eastwood and Rene Russo, then the John Malkoviches of the world will kill Jim Curley.
Russo! Russo! Russo!
I am having trouble looking it up and forgot a lot of the details, but about 10 years ago or so some guy made a stalker-like website complete with video clips. I think it was in Baltimore or NYC. The young woman in the video was a knowing participant, but it got some cop's attention. It kept his attention even after the ruse was revealed because he was still convinced (as quoted by a news outlet anyway) that there was something bad going on.
http://www.reddit.com/r/Shitst.....y_tyranny/
http://www.reddit.com/r/Shitst.....y_tyranny/
The really funny thing about this is that Cracked does better journalism than half the MSM
At least half of the MSM doesn't split every list up into multiple pages.
Yeah but at least Cracked's comments system works
Test
Of course that works.
So update, even a libertarian engineer can survive voir dire. Fuck.
Tell them the lawyers look guilty to you. Always ahs gotten me off.
I was almost on a jury once.
"Have you ever fallen down on a [city] bus?"
"No, I always manage to catch myself."
Bye-bye.
Wonder how many people Bush had detained and interrogated for daring to mock the President? Tony, still wanna tell us how much better current shithead is than former shithead?
Wasn't there a cottage industry in W. Bush fantasies back in the day? Will this post? Who knows?
Someone made a movie about Bush's assassination, and nothing else happened.
Make a movie about Obama's assassination and you're likely to end up in Gitmo.
Don't even need to. Someone made a film about Prophet, and he spend 6 months in jail and takes the rap for inciting riot in Libya.
If you like your satire, you can keep it... to yourself.
I remember reading those articles when they came out. Most articles Dan writes are these same kind, absolutely ridiculous and in no way true. In fact, almost every article on that site is (was) similar in those regards.
This just goes to show how very little those in govt understand concepts like "ridiculousness" or "humor". Apparently Big Brother doesn't like/comprehend those facets of Liberty.
The state hates being laughed at WAY more than it hates being criticized.
I wanna know why and in what sense the satirist "had to" go chat with Agent Grim and Agent Creepy.