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Politics

Tonight on The Independents: Red Meat Wednesday With P.J. O'Rourke, Judge Napolitano, Michael Ian Black, and Jim Norton!

Matt Welch | 3.5.2014 8:12 PM

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What was that we were saying about Red Meat Wednesdays on The Independents? Tonight on Fox Business Network at 9 pm ET, 6 pm PT (with repeats three hours later), you can see the one & only P.J. O'Rourke talk about his new book, Baby Boom: How it Got That Way (and it Wasn't My Fault) (and I'll Never Do it Again). Speaking of funny people, here's last night's panelists Michael C. Moynihan and Gavin McInnes playing a game called Trump vs. Nugent:

Also on tonight's show, Fox News Senior Judicial Analyst and Reason.com columnist Andrew Napolitano will talk about news that National Security Agency Director Gen. Keith Alexander is looking to criminalize journalistic publication of national security leaks, and whether that means we should be rooting for a federal shield law. Funnymen Jim Norton and Michael Ian Black will speed through a number of contested topics—former IRS official Lois Lerner's non-testimony in front of Congress today, Diet Coke's "You're on Coke" advertising campaign, the Government Accountability Office's report that Michelle Obama's healthy school-lunch initiative is making kids gag, a would-be Alabama congressman's shameful-or-awesome past as a maker of toilet-cam political vids (you can view an example here), and the latest idiotic vaping ban in Los Angeles.

Other topics may include the Duke porn actress who came out today, China's increasing military budget, Chipotle's mixed messages on whether climate change will drive guacamole off the menu, and the 10-year-old kid suspend from school for making finger-guns.

Follow the @IndependentsFBN on Twitter, use the hashtag #indFBN, and go to the show website for previous-episode video and more.

Start your day with Reason. Get a daily brief of the most important stories and trends every weekday morning when you subscribe to Reason Roundup.

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NEXT: Case Challenging California's Yolo County Gun Carry Permit Law Brought Back from Dead

Matt Welch is an editor at large at Reason.

PoliticsWorldNanny StateCultureCivil LibertiesPolicyThe IndependentsNSAMediaEdward SnowdenIRSZero ToleranceE-cigarettesFree Speech
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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    You're going to have to spike the punch in the green room to achieve the level of giddy shenanigans of last night's affair.

    1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      They could have someone run around gently concussing the talent before the show instead.

  2. Sevo   11 years ago

    I know the ads are what pay for the site, but is anyone else a bit disturbed about the "shocking" cure for something if you eat what looks like a rat's ass?

    1. GILMORE   11 years ago

      I'm more disturbed by the Obamacare sign up ads.

      And the 'Frank & Oak'/JUST ADD BEARD!-school of fashion adverts (they must know I lived in Williamsburg)

      Asian Ladies Dating? The only thing disturbing about that is the Imperative Appeal in its poorly worded copy = 'FREE JOIN NOW!'. I'm almost suspicious that's intentional.

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        "And the 'Frank & Oak'/JUST ADD BEARD!-school of fashion adverts (they must know I lived in Williamsburg)"

        I get local ads also, so the bot knows from whence I post.
        Hadn't noticed the copy on the dating service; this one has a chastely-dressed model compared to others.

    2. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

      I've seen the "rat's ass" cure. I've also been getting a lot of HIGHLY EFFECTIVE Big Mac ads lately.

      1. GILMORE   11 years ago

        Fatty

        1. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

          That's an understatement.

          1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

            Are you milking a medical retirement?

            1. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

              Old knee injury has reared its ugly head. Haven't been doing shit and have been packing it on.

              Skied today (in a new brace) for the fist time in 6 weeks. Hurt like hell. I think I've got a meniscus tear.

              1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

                The weather is also an acceptable excuse.

              2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

                There's an MRI machine just down the street from you, right?

                1. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

                  Several, actually.

                  1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

                    Montana (in the summer) is sounding better and better.

    3. General Butt Naked   11 years ago

      Everyone uses adbock. Why don't you?

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        And give up my chance to gripe?

  3. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    No Two minutes of Hate? I am sorely disappointed.

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      How am I supposed to burnish my totals?!? I blame GILMORE!

    2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      Let's be honest, you're disappointed it isn't a daily feature.

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

        Wait. Are you not?

        1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

          Of course I am. Are you implying I'm a communist or something?

          1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

            **narrows eyes** The KGB often used gay men to ensnare closeted American targets in honeypot operations.

            Strangely they have yet to show this on 'The Americans'. Not that I don't mind naked Keri Russell.

            1. Episiarch   11 years ago

              You...you mean not that you do mind, right?

              1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                Shit. I guess I'm disqualified from the proofreading job.

            2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

              Hilarious and tangentially related: Homosexuals in government a Congressional hearing.

              There is a restaurant downtown where you will find male prostitutes. They solicit business for other male customers. They are pimps and undesirable characters. You will find odd words in the vocabulary of the homosexual. There are many types such as the necrophalia, fettichism, pygmalionism, fellatios, cunnilinguist, sodomatic, pederasty, saphism, sadism, and masochist. Indeed, there are many methods of practices among the homosexuals. You will find those people using the words as, "He is a fish. He is a bull-dicker. He is mamma and he is papa, and punk, and pimp." Yes; in one of our prominent restaurants rug parties and sex orgies go on.

              I'm gonna have to bring back bull-dicker and sodomatic (sodomy on autopilot?).

              1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                There are many types such as the necrophalia, fettichism, pygmalionism, fellatios, cunnilinguist, sodomatic, pederasty, saphism, sadism, and masochist.

                Two of these things are not like the other.

                1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                  Eh, oral was still considered sodomy under Virginia's law until a few weeks ago, no?

      2. Bam!   11 years ago

        It's the one consistently good feature of the show.

  4. TheGreatCornholio   11 years ago

    "Other topics may include the Duke porn actress who came out today"

    Would you like to know more?

    Yes!

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      Matt has been in his dimly-lit basement all day doing 'research'.

  5. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Taking bets for the eve =

    - Kennedy again spastically blurts something out about oil

    - Kmele goes back to the stalwart grey (Donegal?) sport coat

    - Matt eschews pink entirely: wears white shirt and blue tie and looks normal and no one is much impressed

    - Much amusement is had over Hilary Clinton's Godwin-ing of the Ukraine situation.

    - Someone will again suggest Matt be replaced by Naomi Brockwell. Possibly me.

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      You really think Matt will give up on the pink? He seems pretty dedicated to it. I say he sticks with it.

    2. Sevo   11 years ago

      (fingers of right hand touching forehead, gazing into middle distance)
      I see....
      All people on the show wearing CLOTHES!

      1. Bobarian   11 years ago

        Kennedy won't be wearing underwear?

    3. RannedPall   11 years ago

      Gimme ten bitcoins on Kennedy blurting, and then press my bet again on another blurt if she does. Time to start paying off college.

  6. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

    INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

    1. Bam!   11 years ago

      The dinner bell of The Independents.

    2. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfMoiN6Duk0

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Yo.

      /zips pants.

  7. Calidissident   11 years ago

    Can we please keep Napolitano away from anything relating to the Civil War?

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      What, and not marginalize the movement by needlessly tying us to neoconfederates?

  8. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

    Whoa, only 20-something posts before the show? Did everyone tucker themselves out in Elizabeth Nolan Brown's threads today?

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      Some of us are doing other things, jesse, you lazy bum, like uninstalling SQL Server 2008 R2 from this laptop along with Visual Studio 2008.

      1. Dave C   11 years ago

        Do they uninstall any faster than it takes to install them? That's usually good for most of a day.

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      She threw a lot of rocks at the beehive today.

    3. Sevo   11 years ago

      "Elizabeth Nolan Brown's threads"

      Who dat?

      1. SIV   11 years ago

        New content-generator editor

  9. BigT   11 years ago

    Poet Oatmeal Stout (New Holland) tonight. Very creamy, chocolaty. Yum!

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      I went to my spot, and they don't have Substitute anymore. I'm back to Little Sumpin'.

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        Little Sumpin' is better than Sucks anyway. That Bourbonic Plague was something else. Highly recommended if you don't mind paying $30/bottle.

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

          I'll look into it. I try to keep my beer under $15 a day.

    2. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      Bourbon on the rocks. Well, on one giant, 2" sphere of ice.

  10. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

    Matt should be replaced by Naomi Brockwell.

    1. JeremyR   11 years ago

      Or Kurt Loder

  11. Episiarch   11 years ago

    DREAMCATCHER EARRINGS...all right.

  12. SIV   11 years ago

    COSMOTARIANS CONGREGATE!

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      How's that obsession working for you, Rain Man? You wanna drive the car in the driveway?

  13. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    THAT ARE THOSE OMG!

  14. Bam!   11 years ago

    Kennedy's earrings can be used as fishing nets for when your child's goldfish dies.

  15. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    She shouldn't have hung that sweater on a wire hanger.

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      Whoa, it's like she's wearing GWAR armor under it

    2. Bobarian   11 years ago

      That's her shoulders.

  16. Episiarch   11 years ago

    No, Kennedy, you're on notice!

  17. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Dreamcatcher earrings.

  18. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    It's the pits?

  19. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Hey, I'm wearing the same shirt as Matt.

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      God damn it it isn't pink!

  20. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

    Elizabeth N. Brown ?@enbrown 5h
    Just got called a female @daveweigel by Reason commenters. Whatever that means?
    Expand

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      daveweigel ?@daveweigel 4h
      That you're fantastic and people love you. RT
      Expand

      1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

        I'm putting another hash mark in the "Shrike is Weigel" column for that one.

        1. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

          Do people actually think PB is Weigel? Because I can't imagine (1) Weigel has time for this and (2) would waste his time trolling, because there's no way he believes the crap PB posts.

          1. General Butt Naked   11 years ago

            So we have nuclear engineers that post here, but weigel is too busy?

            From his writings, I think he spends an hour, maybe two, a wee working on his "craft".

      2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        And I'm actually laughing.

    2. SIV   11 years ago

      Dave Weigel gobbles anti-depressants like popcorn and likes rough demeaning sex?

      1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        Wait, what's wrong with rough demeaning sex?

        1. SIV   11 years ago

          I didn't say anything was wrong with it. Just trying to figure the Bettie Brown/Dave Weigel connection.

    3. GILMORE   11 years ago

      Jesus, liz = how hard is it to *look shit up*?

      kids these days

      1. SIV   11 years ago

        Kids? She ain't a day under 37.5.

  21. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Behold the transcendent glory of a poem titled "Trigger Warning"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtUaTk8e-Rg

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      I was hoping against hope it would be at a poetry slam... and it was!

  22. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    There was a camera and he wasn't able to bloviate? Fuck you, Issa.

  23. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Malcolm's mom really needs to come clean.

  24. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Is that a Detroit Red Wings lapel pin?

  25. Episiarch   11 years ago

    Is Kmele mixing grey and brown?

  26. Byte Me   11 years ago

    I'm not sure government officials should be allowed to 'plead the fifth' in their official capacity as government officials, and when being questioned by the body that created their positions.

    1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      Grant her immunity then. That is how stupid the GOP is.

      They don't want her anyway. They are fishing for big fish in the White House.

    2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      They might risk going to prison in in their personal capacities if they confess under duress.

      1. Byte Me   11 years ago

        My thinking is in the line of having transparency. If public servants really were as they are named, then they would be expected to assume certain risks and responsibilities of their positions and consequences for failure to adhere to the letter of the law of the document they swear an oath to.

  27. Episiarch   11 years ago

    Michael Ian Black takes the fifth too.

  28. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Good contribution, Black.

  29. Bam!   11 years ago

    Campaign seems to be getting a lot of free air time. I doubt Coke is crying about Kennedy's snarking.

  30. Episiarch   11 years ago

    That's not the right kind of coke, Kennedy. You of all people should know better.

  31. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Actually, England would really go apeshite.

    1. Byte Me   11 years ago

      Enter: Nigel Farage

  32. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    So what's the difference between this segment and the Topical Storm?

    1. Bam!   11 years ago

      I was going to post the same thing.

    2. All-Seeing Monocle   11 years ago

      These aren't numbered.

    3. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      graphics?

  33. Episiarch   11 years ago

    Someone should tell Kennedy and Black that it's been twenty plus years since she was a VJ and he was on The State.

  34. kibby   11 years ago

    So I managed to get my parents to watch tonight, for PJ. I can't wait to hear how horrified they are at these early segments.

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      invite them to thread.

  35. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Yeah, Welch, parenting sucks.

    1. Bobarian   11 years ago

      Parenting rocks; kids suck.

      1. kibby   11 years ago

        My brain hurts trying to work this out.

  36. TheGreatCornholio   11 years ago

    Gott in Himmel, those earrings, I can't stop staring.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      I need TP.

      1. TheGreatCornholio   11 years ago

        Probably for your bunghole.

    2. Soros' Wank-noose   11 years ago

      Yeah, if they had small motors attached, they could probably supplant a Cuisinart mixer.

  37. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

    Ha, chilimac is still a comfort food for me. It was one of the first things I learned how to cook by myself.

  38. Episiarch   11 years ago

    Chili Mac sounds like the cold version of Country Mac.

    1. Bam!   11 years ago

      It sounds like an offshoot of Fannie Mae.

    2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      WTF is Country Mac?

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        You disappoint me, jesse.

        1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

          You disappoint me, jesse.

          How is that different from any other day?

    3. Bobarian   11 years ago

      Chili Mac is an abortion of left-overs.

    4. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

      Fleetwood Mac?

  39. Almanian!   11 years ago

    OK - I switched over from British Superbike reruns after Shaky Byrne crashed out of race...11 I think it was.

    ANYHOO - how come Welch is always in the "leg chair"?

  40. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Shocked Welch doesn't relish the opportunity to send his daughter to school with a non-FDA approved lunch.

  41. Byte Me   11 years ago

    In regard to the Viking River Cruise ad: I wanna go on a river cruise with real Vikings.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      THIS

      You been watching the History series? Pretty actional w/good kill ratio. #LIKE

      1. Byte Me   11 years ago

        I haven't, didn't know about it, but I'll check it out.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          Second season just started. Better storytelling than most of the cable series, IMHO. Yeah, it's a soap opera, but a soap opera with VIKINGS AND LOTS OF KILLS. I like. Check it out!

  42. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Not a M I Black fan. I AM a Jim Norton fan.

  43. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Fauxcahontas want-um heap high min wage. Ask-um why not $22?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwAQwItEjUo

  44. All-Seeing Monocle   11 years ago

    Oh, I bet ma and pa kibby are gonna love "turdy time".

    1. kibby   11 years ago

      Seriously. I'm really hoping they'll just dvr & watch in a couple of hours so I can tell them exactly when PJ is on. I'd like them to maintain some semblance of respect for my television viewing choices.

      1. All-Seeing Monocle   11 years ago

        I'd say you were taking a pretty big risk given that goal.

      2. Episiarch   11 years ago

        I can't imagine in what state of mind you thought this was a good idea. You do a lot of angel dust, don't you.

        1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

          Maybe Daddy Kibby will find Kennedy appealing and Mama Kibby will fawn over Kmele.

          It's not like she's inviting them to read these comments. Right?

          1. kibby   11 years ago

            My Mom already doesn't like Kmele, despite agreeing with him on everything he said in the segment I showed her.

            It's infuriating.

            1. Episiarch   11 years ago

              How can she not like Kmele? That's absurd, unless she's a ra...oh.

              1. kibby   11 years ago

                Yeah. Uh.

                1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                  I...I was only kidding.

                  1. kibby   11 years ago

                    She just has preconceived notions that he must be super progressive & refuses to listen, evidently.

            2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

              Wow, your mom and Serious are going to get along poorly. I suggest you two elope.

              1. kibby   11 years ago

                This is actually the creepiest idea anyone here has ever suggested to me.

                1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                  Yeahhhh.

            3. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

              Really? Kmele is the least objectionable person on that panel.

              1. kibby   11 years ago

                My parents are pretty avid FNC watchers & have both (somewhat recently) shifted to this idea that all morality should be legislated by Christians.

                I feel like it's Bizarro World sometimes.

              2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                Grand Moff Serious Man|2.25.14

                Kmele's here! **squeeeeeee**

                Least objectionable? That's not what you said the other night.

  45. Almanian!   11 years ago

    WHEN DO WE GET TO THE TWO MINUTES OF HATE????

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      According to the announcement, you don't.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        I thought so 🙁

  46. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    It's a fireside chat. (...when he has Indian food.)

  47. Bobarian   11 years ago

    The way they wear they pants!

  48. SIV   11 years ago

    These guests really suck.

    1. Byte Me   11 years ago

      They should get Andrew Levy (from Red Eye) on. He is at least good at sarcasm.

  49. Episiarch   11 years ago

    I also often philosophize while taking a dump. I usually focus on which one of One Direction is the dreamiest, though.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      OMG - srsly? WHO CAN CHOOSE!

      *swoons*

  50. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Kennedy needs 10 mins in the [unregulated] tanning booth. Or is she going for the "Twilight" look?

    1. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

      TIWVP...

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        This is why vampires...peel? Prate? Purloin?

  51. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    GETTING HEAD IS ILLEGAL NOW???

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      wait...WHAT??1

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

        So ya see fellas, it's not that women find you repulsive after all. You can blame the government for that dry spell.

    2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      Don't worry, nobody will enforce it...until they do.

    3. Byte Me   11 years ago

      Just shower-head...

  52. Episiarch   11 years ago

    There's a lot of focus on oral from Kennedy. First big snakes, now oral. I think Kennedy is trying to tell us something.

    1. TheGreatCornholio   11 years ago

      She said Cum Black. I HEARD IT!!!!

  53. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Candy cigarettes trained me not to smoke. Those things were disgusting.

  54. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Kennedy almost prevented Welch from making his gateway zinger, but he got it out.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      cock blocker - she's the Linda Tripp of Independents

      1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        Wow.

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          I'm impressed.

        2. Almanian!   11 years ago

          BAM!

  55. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    "anti-scientific act of progressive populism"

    Um, is there any other kind?

  56. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Mrs. Almanian "OMG, it has a little mustache at the end of it! HAHAHAHAHA!"

    THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

  57. BigT   11 years ago

    Keep your laws off my body - I wanna sell a kidney.

  58. Episiarch   11 years ago

    Holy shit, did Kennedy just kiss the ass of one of the people she chronically interrupts? Maybe she's trying to make amends.

  59. Bam!   11 years ago

    How'd these poor African kids get those necklaces?

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Sam Kinison's cameraman handed 'em out right after the ham sammiches

      1. All-Seeing Monocle   11 years ago

        YOU LIVE IN A FUCKIN' DESERT!!!!!!!!

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          +1 wonderful recollection - thank you, Rodney Dangerfield for revealing that man to the world on your show!

        2. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

          Don't send them food, send them luggage.

          GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DESERT!

          1. Almanian!   11 years ago

            Send a fleer of u-hauls, we'll move 'em all at once!

    2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Your donations.

  60. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Jorge Lopez? Really? Fuck him. At least Danny Trejo's on...

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      I'm a Mexican-American and I don't watch George Lopez because it furthers the stereotype that George Lopez is funny.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        Aaaaaaaay yi yi!

  61. Almanian!   11 years ago

    EDWARD SNOWDEN HAS DONE MOAR DAMAGE TO THIS COUNTRY THAN HITLER! LITERALLY!

  62. Episiarch   11 years ago

    DON'T MENTION THE WAR!

  63. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    "You know, Kennedy, Lincoln censored many newspapers and even put editors in prison!"

  64. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Judge Nap be lookin' FI-HINE! Someone's gotta gym membership and USIN' it.

    Plus - Grecian Formula.

  65. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Independents Attire Review, March 5 2014

    - Kennedy = Discovers that specific shades of Emerald/Teal cause the blood to completely drain from her body. Luckily her evening Ritalin-enema will keep her chatty until dawn, when she returns to hanging from the studio rafters by her feet.

    - Matt = Was no-tie Tuesday not informal enough for y'all? Don't worry, Matt intends to progressively reveal his utter contempt for TV viewers by eventually showing up in nothing but a tank-top and sweatpants. To the confusion of many his hair will remain perfectly combed.

    - Kmele = While remaining by default at the top of the Independents Fashion Pyramid, even the perfect formula dies from excessive repetition. The love affair grows stale, and even the maroon tie and hanky fails to inspire us in yet another otherwise flawless ensemble. We remain hopeful that a spring palette may be forthcoming, and that the experimental NSA-lapel-pin surveillance-devices may be scrapped entirely.

    Notes on Guests =

    - Johnny Blue Jeans 1) Gay? Didn't know. 2) Ageless? possible ring of mordor in pocket?

    Thank you

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      "tank-top"

      The term you're looking for is "wife-beater".

      You're doing the lord's work with your fashion review, by the way.

      1. kibby   11 years ago

        That is an offensive term to women, you sexist pig.

    2. The Bearded Hobbit   11 years ago

      Fuck ties.

      16 years into my vow to never put one of those hangman's nooses around my neck for the rest of my life.

      ... Hobbit

      1. GILMORE   11 years ago

        That's very nice for you. Your story will soon be considered for a compelling sequel to 12 Years a Slave

        1. seguin   11 years ago

          Working title: 16 Years a Clip-On

    3. GILMORE   11 years ago

      in case anyone fails to understand my surprise re: JBJ, please review the following classic =

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLW2i2ZBVNw

  66. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Shit, I was going to bet The Judge goes 'less red' with his coiffe.

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      The judge looks like he's about to start trying to sell everyone concrete shoes.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        You gotta prollen wi' dat, goomba?

      2. GILMORE   11 years ago

        Needs moar pinky ring

  67. SweatingGin   11 years ago

    Oh come on, Judge. They don't need to change the 1st amendment to ban publishing leaks, just like they don't need to change it to ban political speech.

  68. Almanian!   11 years ago

    "pierce the shield"

    I know what you're sayin', Napster. Word.

  69. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Lincoln never bothered with grand juries, he just ordered people locked up without trial!

  70. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Don't pierce the shield!

    Just the tip!

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Just this once. Just to see what it feels like...

  71. Almanian!   11 years ago

    "I don't like any federal legislation" - THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU, JUDGE N!

  72. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    You'rE in favor of enhancing human freedom, Judge?

    DIDN'T THE CIVIL WAR ENHANCE HUMAN FREEDOM BY ABOLISHING SLAVERY?!

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      DON'T MENTION THE WAR!

  73. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Abolish the N word- coming to a Boondocks episode soon?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TSEteId5-c

  74. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    If you have a blog then you have a virtual press. First Amendment!

  75. Bam!   11 years ago

    Crestor ornage fleece guy kind of looks like Chris Christie.

  76. BigT   11 years ago

    Are H&R comments protected by a shield?

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      In Russia, comments shield YOU!

      Wait, no they don't....

    2. Bobarian   11 years ago

      They're protected by the fact that only 30 people post here.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        And 20 of those are Tulip and puppets

    3. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      ask Warty? and all the others named in that that shall not be mentioned?

  77. Almanian!   11 years ago

    That Gretsch in the Crestor ad looks like mine! Except mine's sunburst, not Hipster Orange. Cool guitar, though

  78. Episiarch   11 years ago

    So Matt knows people in the adult industry? It must be his mom.

  79. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    What boys are on her case about being in porn? Idiots.

  80. TheGreatCornholio   11 years ago

    http://www.pornhub.com/video/s.....belle+knox

    Here's a start on some of her videos.

    Her profile http://www.matrixmodels.com/profile.php?id=830 says only 94 lbs at 5'4". Just the right size.

    1. Bam!   11 years ago

      Just look at that cold lifeless expression. Who wouldn't want to bang that?

      1. TheGreatCornholio   11 years ago

        I'm not particularly picky. But different strokes for different folks!

    2. Byte Me   11 years ago

      I'll be in my bunk...

  81. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    God can't see though sunroofs.

  82. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Hopefully they have hardwood floors.

  83. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Lower risk. Yeah - I'd still want my babies born where my dogs won't wanna lick 'em off.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      "won't be able to"....anyway

    2. Episiarch   11 years ago

      Hey, the dogs are cheaper than a nurse, and do just as good of a job.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        They ARE extremely thorough. And they like shit like afterbirth.

      2. SweatingGin   11 years ago

        If you let the dogs get it, you won't be able to do placenta crafts. And sell them on etsy.

  84. GILMORE   11 years ago

    "Kmele's Blessed Pocket Squares"

    I approve

  85. kibby   11 years ago

    No drugs? There is literally not a planet on which you could pay me to give birth without drugs. So. Many. Drugs.

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      My mom did it the natural way 6 times.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

        The later births come quickly. It's the first one that's a doozy.

        1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

          My brother was like 13 pounds and got stuck at one point, so that one was hardest for her according to my dad.

          1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

            Your poor dad.

      2. kibby   11 years ago

        You also couldn't pay me to do it six times. Or once, even.

        Your mother is a better woman than I.

        1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

          Your damn right she is. She worked an 83 hour week during Stormageddon last week and keeps our house spotless.

          1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

            You should pitch in more.

            1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

              $200 a month in rent plus maintaining the yards and taking care of the family dog.

              She has 3 daughters at home that can pitch in.

            2. kibby   11 years ago

              Seriously, kid. I hope you appreciate the hell out of that woman.

              1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                I really can't express how much I admire and look up to her. So yeah, I do.

                1. kibby   11 years ago

                  D'awwwwwwwww that's the cutest thing ever.

    2. Episiarch   11 years ago

      What does giving birth have to do with that sentiment? That's my attitude every day, and as far as I know, I can't give birth. Unless it's an ass-baby. Speaking of which, I haven't watched Bad Milo yet and it's on Netflix Play Instant now.

      1. kibby   11 years ago

        This is why you're a broken husk of a man.

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          (sobs)

    3. GILMORE   11 years ago

      I was discovered under a cabbage leaf

  86. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    I was born in a vajayjay.

  87. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Avocados. Don't. Care.

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      No you didn't.

  88. BigT   11 years ago

    Not the Tesla again!

  89. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    How do you make a point about Global Warming without artificial consequences?

  90. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

    Canada is going to steal our avocado trees.

  91. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

    So won't we able to grow avocados in Oregon?

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Can't wait for teh global warmings so we can start our orange, avocado and pineapples groves in mid-Michigan. Daddy gots ta have his citrus and guac.

  92. SIV   11 years ago

    It's $1.80 for a little dollop of Chipotle guac.

    1. GILMORE   11 years ago

      Its green mayonnaise

      Shrike LOVES it

  93. Bobarian   11 years ago

    Fuck Chipotle!

    1. SIV   11 years ago

      The McBurrito isn't bad.

  94. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Here is the top video on youtube for explaining "hate speech":

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTdCa6vbvTk

    And here is what the same guy says about Christianity:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTdCa6vbvTk

    These people are beyond parody.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      They're both the same link, you [bleep].

      1. Derpetologist   11 years ago

        Keen eyes, sir. Keen eyes.

        Here it is:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDHFAsY6rSA

    2. Byte Me   11 years ago

      Is that the complete list of what is "hate" speech? I contend that "hate" is a relative term and these panzies (not the word I really want to use to describe them) need to grow pair and/or some fucking skin and get it through their thick skulls that people will inevitably say things they don't like. Stop being a little bitch about it and learn to let it roll off your shoulders.

      That's my rant for the night. I yield the floor.

  95. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Lincoln caused global warm...OK, I'll stop.

  96. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

    Look, if avocados are at risk I'm jumping ship and joining team AGW... I'm sorry.

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      Think of the killing you can make after cornering the market on plains-state avocados!

  97. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    My friend gave me a bag of avocados from her tree two weeks ago. Today they were finally ripe enough to be used to top our tacos. Very good.

  98. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Why is PJ not doing bong hits?

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      I've been bogarting the bong.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        figures

    2. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      How to Drive Fast on Drugs

      While Getting Your

      Wing-Wang Squeezed

      and

      Not Spill Your Drink

      *almost* HST level there.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        For a second there, I thought you were going to link us to that "Nickleback" song....

        *stares at SG*

        1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

          There's a nickleback song related to that?

          And if there is, you know this? 'Cause I didn't.

          1. Almanian!   11 years ago

            Uh...a...FRIEND....told me...

            *turns and walks away swiftly*

  99. SweatingGin   11 years ago

    "Gumming cialis"

    Wow. Going for a thread winner there, Kennedy.

  100. Bam!   11 years ago

    P.J. O'Rourke is funny and insightful but I dislike his delivery. The nervous laughter is annoying. "You know. *chuckle* You know."

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      Which is why his writing is funny.

    2. Sevo   11 years ago

      Saw him live once. He's a writer and writers get to edit stuff. Speakers, well, once it's out there..

  101. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Commie-Nazis!

  102. Almanian!   11 years ago

    I'm allergic to suicide vests, too, PJ

  103. Almanian!   11 years ago

    "We're baby boomers?" "Uh, yeah - 1962." "Did not know that..."

    My wife - I think I'll keep her.

  104. Bobarian   11 years ago

    Bell bottoms and Yuppies did not make the world better.

    Fuck Boomers.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Yeah, but my '71 Camaro Rally Sport was cool as hell, so....I forgive some.

      1. Bobarian   11 years ago

        That was designed by someone from the 'greatest generation'. Boomers designed the Aztec.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          You are incorrect. Program lead was - I believe - a "Greatest" (Mitchell). Designers were boomers.

          PWND

          1. Bobarian   11 years ago

            In 66-69, roughly when the 71 would have been designed, the oldest boomers would just be graduating from college.

  105. GILMORE   11 years ago

    I first read PJ O'Roarke in Rolling Stone in the 1980s, and said to myself, "this cat knows whats up". He was the first example for me of a guy who could be 'counter-cultural' while wearing a tie.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      His reviews in Car and Driver are my faves. The Buick GN from the 80's and a recent review of the Rolls Royce...no, Bentley Azure are exquisite treasures for the ages.

      1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

        I'll have to look those up...

        But a motorcycle review by the Master:

        Song of the Sausage Creature

        You want to cripple the bastard? Send him a 130-mph cafe-racer. And include some license plates, he'll think it's a streetbike. He's queer for anything fast.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          I like that Brenda Butner was working for the magazine when he penned this. They reprinted it a few years ago (I subscribe).

          Srsly? I'll take PJ's reviews, which are actually cool. That shit Buffalo Roam wrote? Weird - "why don't you go kill yourself?" And he did...

      2. SIV   11 years ago

        PJ's car writing and early/mid 70s NatLamp work was his best.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          I agree

        2. The Bearded Hobbit   11 years ago

          He also did some articles for Playboy.

          ... Hobbit

  106. Episiarch   11 years ago

    Generational collective guilting is...tiresome. I had hoped for more from PJ.

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      I enjoy it at Thanksgiving.

  107. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    You don't plug another guy's book, PJ.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      Those Boomers are all in it together.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        COLLECTIVISTS IN THE END - ALL OF 'EM. TOGETHER

  108. kibby   11 years ago

    Well that was...not up to my expectations.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      O'Rourke requires more time than The Independents is willing to provide.

      1. kibby   11 years ago

        I think he just comes across much better in writing.

      2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        People with ADHD think the Independents segments aren't long enough.

    2. All-Seeing Monocle   11 years ago

      Would have been better off having them tune in last night for Gavin McInnes.

      1. kibby   11 years ago

        My father would probably appreciate Gavin almost as much as me.

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

          That Mr. Burns joke was the joke of the decade.

  109. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Wait, WTF? Pre-filmed? My attire review is *shattered*

    1. GILMORE   11 years ago

      That was like a bad dream-sequence

    2. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      She looked good in that dress. Or was it a tank top-y top?

    3. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      They pre-record all of the year's shows in the first two weeks of January.

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        So you're telling me the little commie NEVER gets slammed?!

  110. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

    I disagree with this man's contention that his bald head is beautiful.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Hard to tell with his pants on, I agree

  111. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

    The avocado. California's sole positive contribution to the world.

    1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      That's hurtful, FdA.

      1. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

        🙁 I'm sorry.

        1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

          It's cool. I'll pretend you didn't mean it and we can still be friends!

    2. SIV   11 years ago

      Fiberglass surfboards, hot rods, personal computers...

    3. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      Uh, The Beach Boys?

      Come on, this state is awesome.

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        You're seriously going with the Beach Boys? You're scaring me. I didn't think you were a serial killer, not even after you skinned that girl and wore her face like a mask.

    4. SIV   11 years ago

      Raymond Chandler, Phillip K. Dick, Hollywood...

    5. SIV   11 years ago

      The Runaways...

    6. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

      I rest my case.

    7. Bobarian   11 years ago

      Fake Boobies on skinny little blondes...

  112. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    We cannot allow a defense spending gap!

  113. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

    China doesn't need to police the rest of the world.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      You're gonna get letters.

  114. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Uh-oh. Welch is about to badmouth Reagan to Kennedy.

  115. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    We cannot allow an avocado gap!

  116. Episiarch   11 years ago

    Matt gets very animated when talking about Japan's military. I'm suspecting a hentai tentacle fetish in his closet.

    1. kibby   11 years ago

      Well thank you for that image in my head. *urks*

      1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        You may enjoy the anthology Coming Together: Arm in Arm in Arm...

        Roommate read it on a lark and thought it was a bit tame, but if you want to catch up to Matt you'll have to start somewhere.

  117. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    My guess would be that the ChiComs are more willing that the U.S. to sacrifice lots of soldiers. I mean, they're willing to sacrifice soldiers at American Civil War levels...oops, I promised to stop.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      And the Taiping Rebellion was contemporary with the American Civil War and was *much* bloodier.

      Stop it! Stop it!

    2. Bobarian   11 years ago

      That is how we got our asses kicked back out of NK during the Korean War.

  118. Episiarch   11 years ago

    I'm glad that Kmele--someone--is pointing out that the military is just a huge fucking bureaucracy. Because that's exactly what it is.

  119. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Whichever country won the biathlon will rule the world.

  120. Bam!   11 years ago

    We could cut our military budget in half and not lose a single defense system. Just stop wasting money on incompletely run programs. The Future Imagining Architecture was a $15 billion bust. F-22 is a mess. Etc.

  121. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    God created man.

    Samuel Colt made them equal.

  122. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

    Praise Jeebus! And pass teh aminishun.

  123. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    New York - nowhere to go but up!

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      I've been streaming it from my cable/ISP rather than face mother-in-law for the last few days. So, weirdly, the only commercials I get are for spanish soap operas, George Lopez Show, and Rick from Pawn Stars selling razors, The rest of the time it's just a black screen with a logo.

      Haven't missed the NY ones. I imagine there they're playing MI ones.

  124. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Melissa Harris Sufferin' Succotash Sylvester Perry & guests discuss Rape Culture.

    Oh Boy.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jA3jbEPetE8

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Oh no. No way I'm clickin' that. Nope. Uh uh.

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

        I could screencapture the Twitter debate I had last night with a feminist who had written on her profile "My heart belongs to Marx."

        She called me a #ChampionMansplainer. It was awesome!

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          Wow! Wow. Wow

          Just...wow! Oh what a night...

          1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

            There was a trending topic called #LiesToldByWomen

            This girl gets her panties in a wad at how many women were participating and perpetuating harmful stereotypes.

            I told her she must think humor a tool of the Patriarchy and it escalated to me laying done some 'Mansplaining.

        2. kibby   11 years ago

          I hope you wiped the floor with her.

          1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

            Arguing with people that deranged is like trying to play chess with a pigeon. They inevitably shit all over the board and fly way to sqwaking about how they totally won.

            But this exchange happened. Her:

            Sarah B ?@sariweather 18h
            @LiberalBHound Yep. And ~ [my name] is a certified expert on women's lived experience.

            Me:

            @sariweather i once saw a feminist drop her purse. I picked it up for her and she yelled "Stop oppressing me!" #ChampionMansplainer

            Some other douchebag that chimed in:

            Liberal Basset Hound ?@Laffybug 18h
            @sariweather he appears to fall into the "it's never been a problem for me so it's not a problem for you" crowd. #tool

            Me:
            @LiberalBHound @sariweather feminist converse: "it's a problem for me, so I'm going to make it a problem for you because I know better."

            Her:

            Sarah B ?@sariweather 18h
            @yeshuatrujillo You can fuck the fuck off & stay out of my mentions.

            So I guess I won.

            1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

              But you had a redaction fail.

              1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                Shoot. Oh well, I've exposed my name here before already so what difference, at this point, does it make?

                1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

                  I'd follow you, but it would expose my name.

                  1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                    Your name ISN'T SweatingGin?

                    Next you'll tell me your children aren't the Ginlettes.

                    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

                      Next you'll tell me your children aren't the Ginlettes.

                      They don't know they're in a band yet. But Welch said something during the oscars about every five year old in the country knowing the frozen song by heart, and well, the Ginlettes can sing it just fine.

                  2. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                    I actually don't Tweet much, I mostly just follow. Although Matt Welch and Lucy Steigerwald follow me, so there's that.

                    1. Libertymike   11 years ago

                      The phrase "so there's that" is a verbal clutch often employed by Stephen Breyer.

                      So there's that.

                2. kibby   11 years ago

                  I can stalk you now!

                  1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                    You mean you weren't before? I'm offended.

                  2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                    ...but me suggesting you elope was creepy?

                    1. kibby   11 years ago

                      I only stalk when invited to do so. So I'm not like CREEPY creepy. He's a kid, after all.

                    2. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                      Stalk away, I don't mind. My Twitter isn't much to see though.

                      And as for eloping, I don't think it would work because I actually want to father children in the future. So kibby would have to be okay with going Old Testament and letting me knock up her handmaid.

                    3. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                      I don't think it would work because I actually want to father children in the future.

                      You can father them just fine, they just might not be legitimate in the eyes of your family patriarch.

                    4. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                      Oooh, nevermind. I read kibby as only being against giving birth without pharmaceutical assistance. I didn't realize she was against being a baby factory at all.

        3. Derpetologist   11 years ago

          Twitter will not only be the death of English, but perhaps even thought itself.

          Why don't you ask her what she thinks about Marx impregnating and then abandoning his servant girl Elanor?

          Or how never bathed and let his family suffer in grinding poverty?

    2. Byte Me   11 years ago

      ...discuss Rape Culture.

      Is this where they say that all men are closet rapist, and even making the slightest sexual innuendo or advance in the means of hitting on a woman qualifies as some form of rape?

      1. seguin   11 years ago

        Pretty much. They also use an obnoxious acronym (PIV) to denote heterosexual vaginal sex, which is considered rape, because penises are evil or something like that.

  125. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Derka durrrrrrrr! Hurr durr! I give to Wounded Warrior, but I fucking hate listening to Trace of Intelligence Adkins

  126. TheGreatCornholio   11 years ago

    Kids with finger guns. I blame Microsoft....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0VOM7e5Hug

  127. Episiarch   11 years ago

    The Runaways as the bumper? OK, I can deal with that.

    1. SIV   11 years ago

      Cherie Currie makes chainsaw bears now

      1. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

        That's awesome.

        Can't think of anything cooler than being an EX-star.

  128. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    "I'll pretend not to come to school during my suspension."

  129. SweatingGin   11 years ago

    Kennedy: "You're a good person"

    No, Kennedy. No, I'm not.

  130. Almanian!   11 years ago

    PEW PEW PEW PEW! research says...

  131. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    God and Guns! Two great tastes that taste great together!

  132. Almanian!   11 years ago

    MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE LOCKED UP, MATT!!

  133. kibby   11 years ago

    Matt, I demand you find this & publish it.

  134. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Go Kmele! #gangsta #sideways

  135. Episiarch   11 years ago

    That was racist, Kmele.

  136. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    COSMOTARIANS! The men on the panel hate guns. I can TELL.

  137. SweatingGin   11 years ago

    "What'd you say about my mom?"

    Kmele is talking to *you*, Epi.

    1. Bobarian   11 years ago

      Epi is Kmele's mom.

    2. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Shit - when Epi's not getting his posts posted, Kmele's just straight up TALKIN' to him.

      Shit. I am not worthy

    3. Episiarch   11 years ago

      The only mom I've badmouthed on this thread is Matt's, but I suppose I could talk about Kmele's too. Let me pull back the covers and ask her if it's ok.

  138. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    AH! Lou Dobbs.

  139. Episiarch   11 years ago

    AIGGHHH LOU

  140. Almanian!   11 years ago

    LOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

  141. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Matt says you can take his air guns when you pry them from his invisible holsters where he keeps them next to his invisible drum kit.

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      I'm kind of looking forward to the guns episode

  142. SIV   11 years ago

    Worst Independents Ever

    1. Bobarian   11 years ago

      Until the next one.

    2. Almanian!   11 years ago

      You know, for a show called Independents...

  143. GILMORE   11 years ago

    DOBBS WITH A TAN!!

  144. Byte Me   11 years ago

    THE GUN SHOW!!! Now, I won't be able to sleep or work for the next two days.

    Though, I really despise Geraldo. I don't know how he is on other topics, but he is an absolute and willfully uniformed douchebag when it come to guns.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      So pretty much the same for other topics in my experience. Douchebags gonna douche.

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      I have a gun show for Kennedy in my living room. I'll also show her which way the beach is.

      1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

        Two tickets to the gun show

    3. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

      suns out guns out

  145. hamilton   11 years ago

    Sorry threadjack:

    The most amazing amicus brief ever, by Cato and PJ O'Rourke.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      Cattiest Supreme Court brief ever. From footnote 15:

      " Driehaus voted for Obamacare, which the Susan B. Anthony List said was the equivalent of voting for taxpayer-funded abortion. Amici are unsure how true the allegation is given that the healthcare law seems to change daily, but it certainly isn't as truthy as calling a mandate a tax."

    2. Sevo   11 years ago

      II.
      TRUTHINESS, INSINUATIONS, AND
      ALLEGATIONS ARE PROTECTED BY
      THE FIRST AMENDMENT ................................ 8

      I don't know why anyone would question this, and I certainly hope Obo's admin isn't opposing it.
      "You can keep..."

    3. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

      I'm reminded of why I don't like John Bolton. As ridiculous as the UN, the job of an ambassador is to advance the interests of our nation, and sometimes that means biting your tongue in the face of the ridiculous. Likewise the job an amicus brief is supposed to be to win your side of the case.

      Being snarky feels good, but in the wrong situation it can often end up hurting your cause. I'm kind of annoyed by people who end up sabotaging their own goals because they seem more interested in living out their fantasies of being a standup comedian than they are doing their actual job.

  146. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

    Dobbs just said epicenter, doesn't that bother someone here?

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      It would if I were watching.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        Oops, I get it, never mind.

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      He's busy in his dungeon.

  147. SweatingGin   11 years ago

    What the fuck?

  148. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    MSLSD's substitute for Special Ed weighs in on institutional racism.
    With Africana professor as the guest.

    Oh Boy.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWT0hCyk9tA

  149. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    "The Definition of Privelege" by a slam poetry festival participant.

    Featuring laughable Ebonics from a white twink.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-BodYLppLk

  150. Derpetologist   11 years ago

    Egad, these privilege complainers are hysterical:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l7q71AimrA

  151. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Religious South African sect eats grass 'to be close to God'

  152. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Hockey

    1. Sevo   11 years ago

      Linky no worky

      1. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

        blame TSN it worked before.

  153. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

    Okay, just watched Gravity.

    What the fuck? Yeah, yeah... Nice visuals... Good acting... Stupid fucking story...

    SPOILER ALERT:

    What the fuck? There are no more suits on the destroyed shuttle? No way to replenish O2? No more fuel for Clooney's jet pack? Didn't even address it. Why, exactly, did Clooney kill himself? They were tethered to the ISS. The velocity vector was arrested. Grab the line and pull yourselves in. Dumber than dirt.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

      Clooney finished his bucket list.
      He died so Sandra could live.

    2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      Why weren't they wearing adult diapers under their spacesuits?!?!

      1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

        That's one I spotted immediately. The director pointed it out himself in an interview, saying no one spotted the most obvious unrealism, but I DID!!!

    3. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

      Neil DeGrasee Tyson Hilariously Explains What's Wrong With 'Gravity' in Less Than 3 Minutes

    4. JeremyR   11 years ago

      It's funny how much of Gravity was basically taken from the 2000 movie, Mission to Mars.

      In that, the spaceship blows up right when they reach Mars, so they have to space walk over to a supply ship also in orbit that has a lander for some reason.

      Only you have Tim Robbins in the George Clooney role.

      1. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

        Tim Olyphant Tim Curry Tim Roth Tim Conway Tim Horton Tim McVeigh Tim Robbins

        1. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

          and no greater than sign. put one between all of them.

      2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

        All a ripoff of Dark Star, except Sandra Bullock doesn't use a surfboard.

        1. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

          every movie made after 2001 owes everything to Ski School 2.

          1. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

            A cinematic tour de force.

  154. Corning   11 years ago

    Is that the pee in public guy?

  155. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

    The "tools" you likely have around the house aren't really the right kind. Especially the "spreader".

  156. Almanian!   11 years ago

    All three of ours were C. My wife begged for it after 24 hours in labor with the first, who wasn't going ANYwhere...the other two were scheduled. A relative dream 🙂

  157. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

    Only one way to find out.

  158. SIV   11 years ago

    All his books are set in California

    Chicago has Nelson Algren

  159. SIV   11 years ago

    Which Algren? The Man With the Golden Arm, his short story collection The Neon Wilderness. A Walk on the Wild Side and Someone in Boots in that order.

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