Reason Tweets the State of the Union. Now!

 

Comments

[cavalier973]

Here we go.

[Paul.]

There we went.

[cavalier973]

I'm imagining how awesome this would be if the President were libertarian instead of stupitarian.

[Spiny Norman]

We'd probably go back to a written letter to Congress instead of a speech.

[Terr]

Fuck this shit.

[NebulousFocus]

Seconded.

[Francisco d Anconia]

INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

WHAT? MY FAVORITE SHOW IS BEING PREEMPTED BY THIS BULLSHIT/

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

SCUM AND VILLAINS, ASSEMBLE!

[Rich]

Stay calm and hive on!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNv5sPu0C1E

[Francisco d Anconia]

Well played.

[Byte Me]

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

[Byte Me]

Yea, at least last time was for a car show/auction. On the plus side, we get Stossel's sensibility followed by Kennedy's firebrand. (which will get to ferment for a couple hours after the speech)

[DEG]

I'm going to repost this from the PM Links, with an additional thought:

Original post:

I was thinking about the State of the Union address. I have no interest in watching it. My liver will not take the abuse. However, I had a thought. In 2011 The Chive had a humorous Yoga Pants For President post. I think that if the campaign had succeeded, the world would be a better place. That is all.

Addition:

I think I'm wrong. The world might not be a better place had that campaign succeeded. Imagine the fighting over whether or not someone should wear the yoga pants, and if someone should, who?

[LynchPin1477]

The Chive rocks, and President Yoga Pants is a campaign I can get behind.

[cavalier973]

He can't even hand out packets correctly.

[Bam!]

You do realize this is up against Lewd & Luscious Lesbos 2 on TEN, don't you?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I bet the Supreme Court justices are watching it on their devices while pretending to listen to the speech.

[Paul.]

"Devices". I see what you did there.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

And I didn't know I did it.

[Francisco d Anconia]

I'm out.

[playa manhattan]

What's TEN?

[Bam!]

Not exactly sure, but it was in my guide in the porn section.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

"The Erotic Network".

[playa manhattan]

Sounds like something that costs extra.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

According to Wikipedia it's the oldest erotic cable channel still around.

Not as clumsy or random as a Google search, but a more eloquent adult channel from a more civilized time.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Who wants to be the designated commenter who sits out the SOTUA in the event of a Tom Clancy-esque attack?

[cavalier973]

Those pesky record corporate profits and their propensity to keep wages low.

[cavalier973]

We need to support a free market that doesn't create outsized corporate profits.

[cavalier973]

We need to put our nation before partying.

[PapayaSF]

SOTU? STFU.

[Paul.]

It's time to turn off the war machine, and turn on our children... turn on our children...

[goneGalt]

Turn on? So he's gonna legalize ACID?

Woo Hoo!

[Bam!]

I hear tell Obama went to his goto speech writer, Mark V. Shaney.

[Rich]

I understand that Mark, not Valerie, makes most of O's decisions.

[Marc F Cheney]

You rang....?

Oh. Never mind.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I will use my psychic powers to discern what the President is saying, without cheating by watching TV, etc. etc.

OK, he is For the Poor. He wants the Rich to Pay their Fair Share. He is pro-woman. The Income Gap is too large. The Economy is Looking Up. But there is Still Much Work to Do. He is Gravely concerned about the crisis in some foreign country, say Syria or the Ukraine. This illustrates the Challenges of U.S. Leadership. He isn't waiting for Congress, but is Taking Steps on his own to Move This Country Forward.

All right, did my mystic powers work?

[Redacted]

Using my mystic powers I say yes.

[Paul.]

You forgot to start with "Let me be clear". Technical violation. Automatic disqualification.

[VG Zaytsev]

Some say...

[Bam!]

Angry eyebrows.

[Paul.]

GOP: I know you are, but what am I?

[Anonymous Coward]

Since I'm in the middle of an event in which I can neither drink nor watch this monarchical farce, I need the commentariat to relay Barry's dissimulation in prose.

Wow me.

[fish]

I hope you suffer deeply from "survivors guilt".

[Anonymous Coward]

If I outlast all of you, that just means I am king of the libertarians by default and become the new host for The Jacket.

[cavalier973]

I do not recall making any promise.

[Paul.]

You signed the social contract just like the rest of us.

[Andrew S.]

I really don't understand why anybody watches the SOTU address. I mean, there are the Obama diehards, but why would a sane person watch?

[Rich]

why would a sane person watch?

Indeed, why would a sane person *participate*?

[Francisco d Anconia]

To get drunk playing the drinking game?

So I can yell at my teevee?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I'm watching a 'Wings' rerun.

[Paul.]

Is that were Linda Mccartney plays keyboards?

[Bee Tagger]

The Casey Chapel years? The Alex Lambert years?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

It's in the Casey years.

Antonio definitely under rated in sitcom history.

[Bee Tagger]

Agreed.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I'm watching something more intellectual than either the SOTU or Wings:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_4jrMwvZ2A

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Brawn!

[Ed]

which episode? what channel? i love that show

[jesse.in.mb]

The youtube stream of it is giving me an error. Where else can I watch it?

[cavalier973]

http://www.c-span.org/SOTU/

[Bam!]

Television. It allows you to watch broadcasts on a larger resolution display.

[deepspeed]

Broadcast? Is that like a torrent?

[playa manhattan]

I thought you said you didn't have cable. Am I to understand you don't have a TV at all?

[jesse.in.mb]

I have two TVs. The one in the living room has my antenna attached. The one in my room doesn't.

[cavalier973]

Stop manufacturing crises, then, snotnoggin.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Short Bus Jockeys, ASSEMBLE!!!

[Francisco d Anconia]

Was looking forward on the program guide. Stossel (Have I mentioned I like Stossel?) at 11 and teh Independents at 12 (EST).

And ah, no Lou Dobbs.

[Paul.]

LUUUUUUUUUUUCYYYYYYYYY!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

My mortgage rep sent me a letter wishing me happy birthday. While I appreciate the gesture, I think it's pretty gay. Should I tell him?

Hey, come to think of it, would this be one of the 10 letters Obama would 'fight for?'

[playa manhattan]

I know what you are trying to do. Happy Birthday, I guess.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I reject it. No love in it.

[playa manhattan]

My insurance agent sends me a birthday card every year. I'd prefer he deduct the price of the card and postage from my premiums.

[Bam!]

George Will just shat on the SOTU on Fox News.

[Rich]

Doo-doo tell.

[Andrew S.]

I'm catching up on the last couple episodes of Archer.

[Irish]

If Barack Obama murdered a child, what would the media's excuse be:

A) Necessary policy adjustment that was more brutal than originally intended due to Republican obstructionism.

B) Actually Christie's fault for closing that bridge.

C) HE WAS A TERRORIST!

[Somalian Road Corporation]

I don't have to imagine this. I'm living it every day every time a wedding gets droned.

[Andrew S.]

Bingo.

Also, I love the username.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

D) Bush lied us into a war.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

"If he liked his life he could keep his life...but, and this is my fault for not being more clear and explaining things better, I never said you could keep a junk life."

[Byte Me]

"Let me be clear, I will use a lot of words, but I will not say anything that is new or of any substance. There will be strawmen, strawmen, and more strawmen. I will whine and complain about congress, dismiss the legitimacy of the judicial branch, and feign belief in Constitutional government. Oh, by the way, my critics are racists."

[Rich]

Hey, what are false dichotomies, chopped liver?

[cavalier973]

Also, give lip service to the Free Market, then propose a mass of "reforms" that do nothing but bind down and hold back the Free Market.

[Byte Me]

...and "assault" weapons, (free) education, "common sense" reforms, how great he thinks he is, etc, etc. We'd be here all night.

[Byte Me]

Though I did seriously overlook the dreaded "global war..er...climate change". (probably bc it's 14 degrees in VA)

[Pi Guy]

What the hell did he say?

Same as usual. Not a damn thing.

Ooooooh, I love to dance a little sidestep

[Pi Guy]

Just heard Schieffer say "After the Repubs shut down the government..." And then "But after the crappy ass rollout of Obamacare..." As tho the entire purpose of the shutdown wasn't to protest Obamacare.

Have they won the spin on this despite The facts? Again?

Dog, I hate the press.

[Bam!]

And now they all clap like good little seals.

[Pi Guy]

And they always start late. You know, be sure that they get it right.

If only they'd at least considered that with the ACA

[cavalier973]

Carbon Dioxide is plant food, you chucklehead.

[Plopper]

The new categories at the top of the page suck... before they were general things like "civil liberties". Now it's "NSA" and "Marijuana"... totally stupid imo. Makes it look like you only care about those specific issues and not liberty in general.

[SIV]

"Wedding photographer and cake-baker equality"

[lap83]

Even libertarians have pet issues.

Actually "pet issues" would make a good category.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

And a good band name.

[Bee Tagger]

Scheiffer thinks the people shaking the people involved in this spectacle represent a cross-section of America?

[cavalier973]

What about the coldest temperatures in 20 years?

[Paul.]

Climate change.

Things just aren't the same.

[cavalier973]

The other countries no longer lead in "green energy" because they all went bankrupt trying to implement "green energy".

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

George Snuffluophogus: the President seems "energized" by the fact that he's taking executive action to address issues.

Yeah, power tripping will do that.

[Bam!]

Krauthammer wants SOTU to be like Question Time.

Would be more fun to watch.

[Andrew S.]

I'd actually watch it if they did it like that.

[Rich]

Perhaps O will use his executive powers to mandate that.

[kibby]

He could use his pen! Maybe even his phone!

[cavalier973]

We need to listen to the scientists, who will, of course say almost the exact opposite thing concerning the earth's climate 20 years from now.

[Byte Me]

Wow Boehner, that's also how I introduce each bowel movement.

[Bam!]

Leading with a teacher, huh? Starting with a joke, I see.

[Caleb Turberville]

My cable is out, so I'm watching Back to the Future. "Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!"

[Andrew S.]

http://www.october212015.com/

[db]

hey, guys, what's going on?

[Rich]

Ask Boehner.

[cavalier973]

What politician wouldn't happily take a portion of someone else's wealth?

[Paul.]

I bet tonight is like a Superbowl Party for Tony.

[Andrew S.]

For people like Tony and Shrike, this is televised pornography.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

**tells nice stories about nice people**

"And it's all thanks to me!"

[Francisco d Anconia]

Sit down you fucking idiots.

[playa manhattan]

I'm about to make a perfect 45 degree pour.

[cavalier973]

I'm sorry, I zoned out a moment...what was he saying about mortgage rates? What law is he proposing?

[db]

Oh, is this address thingy still going on? I'll read the fucking transcript tomorrow.

[Res ipsa loquitur]

No you wont.

[playa manhattan]

America is the #1 place to invest, huh? I have a pile of cash that says otherwise.

[Pompey]

The Heritage Foundation economic freedom list says otherwise too. What a crock of shit.

[AlmightyJB]

Also, Elvis has been reanimated.

[cavalier973]

Liar! He never died!

[Byte Me]

"cut in half"...Um..Comrade...it is not "cutting" when you fall short of a projection. That is all.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Let's play what's 'Joe Biden thinking?'

[Bam!]

Someone should edit the SOTU, Blind Date style, adding a thought bubble above his head.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

That would be HILARIOUS!

[Rich]

"I'm more clean and articulate than this clown."

[Rufus J. Firefly]

'Damn, picking between the Seahawks and Broncos is hard.'

[Heroic Mulatto]

Obama warning Congress: I'll do it without you

That's some dictator shit right there.

Wherefore rejoice? What conquest brings he home?
What tributaries follow him to Rome,
To grace in captive bonds his chariot-wheels?
You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!
O you hard hearts, you cruel men of Rome,
Knew you not Pompey? Many a time and oft
Have you climb'd up to walls and battlements,
To towers and windows, yea, to chimney-tops,
Your infants in your arms, and there have sat
The livelong day, with patient expectation,
To see great Pompey pass the streets of Rome:
And when you saw his chariot but appear,
Have you not made an universal shout,
That Tiber trembled underneath her banks,
To hear the replication of your sounds
Made in her concave shores?
And do you now put on your best attire?
And do you now cull out a holiday?
And do you now strew flowers in his way
That comes in triumph over Pompey's blood? Be gone!
Run to your houses, fall upon your knees,
Pray to the gods to intermit the plague
That needs must light on this ingratitude.

[Raven Nation]

Complete guess here: is this "Julius Caesar"?

[Corning]

clutching Obamacare like a dragon and its treasure.

[Rich]

We can't have the most fundamental debate, because we have work to do!

[Francisco d Anconia]

Dammit, I just puked.

[cavalier973]

We want smart children, so we'll take them away from their parents and put them in an establishment where they will learn to be good little sheep.

[Aloysious]

You tell 'em, 2chilli

[Rufus J. Firefly]

D-did I just see a sickle and hammer flash by the screen?

[PapayaSF]

A little subliminal conditioning, eh?

[Bee Tagger]

He's leaving out how the NSA is the reason he knwos what our inner-most aspirations are.

[Caleb Turberville]

"I think you got the wrong car, McFly. Just close the door, and walk away."

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

"if you....take responsibility you can get ahead"

Well it's a wonder, then, why proggies are so determined to let people live in a consequence free world.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Liar!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Maybe, just maybe, profits aren't as good as he thinks it is?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Profits are at record highs - $110-115 on the S&P 500.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Palin, douche, I follow the market. I know and if you'd care to do deeper digging you'd know things aren't so rosey.

[fish]

I thought you were upthread blowing Tony?

[Bobarian]

He's multi-tasking, blowing Tony while shitting on the thread.

[cavalier973]

We need to raise people's incomes so that we can increase our government revenues.

[Bam!]

Declares himself a dictator to thunderous applause. We are so fucked.

[Bee Tagger]

A portion of the crowd applauds tyranny.

[Francisco d Anconia]

It's how liberty dies.

[Rich]

Unfortunately, those proposals are *Chinese* concrete.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Yup. It was a sickle and hammer alright.

[Byte Me]

I find it astounding that he just announced, very directly, to the legislative body that he intends to usurp their legislative authority, and they APPLAUDED.

[Aloysious]

Separation of powers, what is it?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp069Y_P-9M

[Francisco d Anconia]

Damn your fast fingers.

[AlmightyJB]

I just.. uh...what?

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Alright, I'm done. Going to read a transcript. I'm sick, had a bad day, and the applause after the line about how he'll do whatever he can to take steps bypassing the legislative branch was too much for me.

[Aloysious]

Nick made a funny.

[Francisco d Anconia]

People are actually following the tweets?

[SIV]

The live tweet stream is pretty lame. I'm waiting for the first Delaware Dave Weigel re-tweet

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Does Obama really want to advance the idea that people can accomplish stuff without Washington doing anything?

[Paul.]

Matt Welch: It's all nickel and dime stuff.

[Andrew S.]

Matt Welch points out he's made the "If Congress won't act I will" talk for the past several SOTU addresses, which is true. Thankfully, so far, it continues to be another unfulfilled promise. Not that any of that makes me feel any better.

[Bam!]

But now there is no upcoming election to keep him in check.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Did he call Boehner a drunk?

[cavalier973]

"Good job, Joe!"

Joe Biden wrote some legislation? Was it legible and coherent?

[Paul.]

I'll bet it was far better than anything that idiot Feinstein could craft with her box of crayons and big chief paper.

[Rich]

"Fix the tax code."

Right this minute. I'll wait.

[Anonymous Coward]

Fix the tax code:

Step 1: lighter fluid

Step 2: matches

[Pi Guy]

Boehner just blew his nose! Classic!

[Rich]

"Hand check!"

[Byte Me]

I don't think even The ONION could top the parody of what I am currently watching.

[Irish]

Barack Obama is retarded.

"Europe and China aren't standing still, and neither should we!"

Is this the same Europe with a 14% continental unemployment rate?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, you heard it right. The Chinese fascists and the European bureaucrats are the ones we need to emulate.

[Bee Tagger]

Barkeeps don't pronounce it reSEARCH

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Research needs government to function. What crowding-out effect?

[cavalier973]

What?!?!? I can't believe that the President just endorsed the Patriarchy, while at the same time implying that women are incompetent when it comes to child-rearing.

[cavalier973]

Also, the term is "rearing", not "raising".

[Rich]

"We are closer to energy independence than we have been in decades."

Well, DUH!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

It's like the horizon: something that never gets closer no matter how hard you run towards it.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Bridge fuel. I was explaining that concept to the Peanuts today.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Yes, Mr. President, I'm awake, I'm awake!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss2hULhXf04

[Bam!]

Solyndra (however you spell it) is still in need of it.

[Pi Guy]

"All of the above energy strategy that I introduced..."

"...fuels off the future..."

If only the money doled out to Solyndra could've been given to fracking and other fossil fuels. *sigh*

[Invisible Handjob]

Claimed credit for Google innovation and fracking natural gas revolution within a couple minutes

[playa manhattan]

I missed the part where he said "In spite of my policies...".

[Andrew S.]

I don't hate myself enough to watch, but from what I'm gathering on Twitter, has this been more or less a repeat of every one of his other SOTU addresses?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Who the fuck is "we", kemosabe? The bailout was your gift to the auto unions.

[Rich]

*Must* they applaud every other sentence?

[cavalier973]

It's traditional. Besides, it's a welcome respite from having to hear him talk.

[SIV]

shikha sood dalmia@shikhadalmia
All the above energy strategy, except for coal, nuclear and keystone natural gas.

Keystone is crude

[Bam!]

Climate change is a fact: It's frickin' freezing.

[Byte Me]

"Not to mention, we have these strange "highs" and "lows" every day. And sometimes it rains, sometimes it snows, sometimes it's sunny...oh wait, that's just weather and season. Move along."

[AlmightyJB]

Science means never asking questions.

[Paul.]

Jesus I'm not even listening to the speech and the Reason staff tweets make me embarrassed for the prez.

[Byte Me]

Speak for yourself comrade. I will lay my car out through every corner, let it idle all day at work, and buy that extra tank per weekend for my pwc (and it's a 2-stroke), if only to smite you.

[Aloysious]

That twitter feed needs more Emily.

[Raven Nation]

EVERYTHING needs more Emily...or Tracy Oppenheimer.

Also, this is why there are not more...

[Francisco d Anconia]

Because droughts never happened before teh carbunz.

[playa manhattan]

The oil companies make about $.08 a gallon profit after assuming the risk and doing all of the work. The federal government makes $.184 per gallon for doing nothing. Who is subsidizing who, Obama?

[Pi Guy]

How cool would it be if they were broadcasting the SOTU on Fox Biz with Kennedy, Welch, and Kamele commenting Mystery Science Theater 300-style?

[Pi Guy]

300, 3000. What's an order of magnitude between friends?

[Francisco d Anconia]

Next year.

[lap83]

I would rather Mike and the bots doing the commenting, but that would be good too.

[lap83]

this is appropriate, btw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjCjgjk9n0o

[pogi]

Joel Mike

[pogi]

Joel greater than Mike. Damn this keyboard.

[Bee Tagger]

Look, I get that he's trying to communicate that he's confident in the theory of man-caused climate change, but doesn't the word "fact" have a very specific and important meaning when used in the context of science stuff?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Washington is a warm gun, blah, blah, blah, blah, Mother Russia, blah, blah, blah, blah, Meaning of Christmas, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because meanie corporations, blah, blah, blah, blah, you all look like my son if I had one, blah, blah, blah, blah, habla espanol, blah, blah, blah, blah....

[Bam!]

Instead of "Let's get it done," he should say, "Get'er done!"

[Francisco d Anconia]

Schumer. That's a punchable kickable face.

[Bee Tagger]

Sullum crushing it tonight, btw.

[american socialist]

This speech sucks! The only society worth emulating are miniarchist, anarcho-capitalists ones in northeast Africa! Building roads? Government research? WTF! PROTECTING LANDS! Those belong to megacorp in a miniarchist society.so that megacorp can build a uranium processing plant next to Yellowstone Entreprenurial Enterprise Industrial Park. This President is a commie, Kenyan, socialist fascist. Rand Paul forever!

[Francisco d Anconia]

derp

[Byte Me]

With regard to "megacorp", there has not been a monopoly in this country that was not facilitated by the government. Your premise is wrong. That is all.

[Andrew S.]

That's the worst trolling attempt I've ever seen. You have to try to be that terrible.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Close up on Biden! Because the gun control task force went so well!

He's still wondering if he should take the Seahawks.

[Bam!]

Top-down job training is going to work well based on previous top-down experiments.

[Rich]

*Trickle*-down training!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

And now, the rebuttal:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyx6JDQCslE

[Bee Tagger]

Just don't you dare try this kind of educational experimentation with our public education for children!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I'm disappointed he hasn't taken a shot at the Supreme Court. I honestly want to see if its true that one or more of them is prepared to walk out.

[Anonymous Coward]

Obama is too gutless to pick a fight he thinks he might lose.

[SIV]

Misty DeMars is kinda a porn stripper burlesque name.

[Paul.]

Let's talk about something else. Obama no longer interests me.

[cavalier973]

I still haven't gotten tired of this.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's your favorite ice-cream flavor?

[Paul.]

I think I like vanilla.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Moose tracks.

[kibby]

BORING.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I like off-white.

[Pi Guy]

IPA

[cavalier973]

New York Super Fudge Chunk

[mad libertarian guy]

peanut butter chocolate

[Byte Me]

"We're not depending on the government...but, congress, give them a chance."

Um...what?

[Rich]

Use your Independence Card!

[Byte Me]

Is it ok if it's not a card, and I keep it in a holster?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Oh, and not a word about guns so far. Maybe Team Obama has finally learned its lesson inasmuch that gun control is suicide for their party.

[Paul.]

Just wait, it's coming. I'd bet money on it.

[Byte Me]

Seconded.

[Byte Me]

9:59. Told ya...

[Timon 19]

Jesus fucking Christ, Air Force One is a terrible, terrible movie.

That is all.

[PapayaSF]

I thought it was a pretty good thriller.

[Timon 19]

It always seems to be on this time of year, and my wife insists on watching it every fucking time because HARRISON FORD!!!!

It's way, WAY better than if she wanted to watch the SOTU, but holy fuck that movie has not aged well (and it irritates the living piss out of me in oh, so many ways - most of which are the usual aspie-like "come on, that can't happen" moments I have).

It's garbage, and the dialogue manages to get worse with every viewing. And it celebrates the POTUS as something other than a shithead politician, and I have very little patience for that shit anymore.

[playa manhattan]

My grandkids are going to ask me why they have to pay for something from 50 years ago called "the stimulus".

[Paul.]

Fuck my grandkids, why do I have to pay for some yuppie who overpurchased?

[playa manhattan]

You'll be long dead before it's paid for.

[Andrew S.]

I'm still pissed off that I was responsible and bought within my budget when I bought my house, instead of the ludicrous loan amount the bank was willing to give me. I could've had a much nicer house, and then been bailed out, and had the same mortgage payment I have now!

[SweatingGin]

think of all those signs saying "this dog park paid for by the ARRA Stimulus!"

Your grandkids will still have those dog parks to enjoy in 50 years. Multiplier.

[playa manhattan]

"Hey, Johnny, see that bridge that is right next to the other one?"

[Paul.]

Why yes, yes I do.

[mad libertarian guy]

Your grandkids will still have those dog parks to enjoy in 50 years. Multiplier.

Yes. Dog parks do produce a multiplier effect.

[SweatingGin]

I mean, crap, they practically pay for themselves! in dog crap. or something.

[SweatingGin]

Is this where we smugly post that we're not watching it? 'cause I just can't make myself turn it on.

[db]

Same here.

[lap83]

same

[GILMORE]

aw, you smugly posted before me. I has sads.

[american socialist]

It's pretty interesting that you libertarians can't wipe the spittle off your keyboard long enough to acknowledge that 5 yrs ago this country was involved in an imperialist war led by a Republican warmonger and that excuses were being made by some of the writers on this website about why we should have 100,000 troops stationed in Mesopotamia.

[db]

Go drone a wedding, fucker.

[Palin's Buttplug]

BOOOOSSSHHHH!

[Paul.]

You're a good sport, Shrike.

That's why it's ok that the guy who got elected saying he'd put a stop to the practice, doubled down on it.

[Francisco d Anconia]

yawn

[Andrew S.]

I dare you to find a single post from Reason 5 years ago (or 6 for that matter) supporting the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

You're a fucking moron.

[american socialist]

Google Ronald Bailey Iraq War. He's so smart.

[Andrew S.]

Don't tell me to google. You said there were articles 5 years ago supporting the war. Since Obama was in office 5 years ago today, I'm being generous and giving you a 6 year window. Find me a post supporting the war.

[Paul.]

American socialist just posted one.

[Irish]

Then Ronald Bailey was completely wrong about this issue.

I don't understand why I should give a shit that I disagree with a writer on this site. I disagree with many of them about many things.

[american socialist]

I'm merely positing that writers on this site are schills for the RP. How else do you explain their support for an pro-lifers and gay marriage bigots?

[Byte Me]

And now it is an imperialist war and troops stationed in foreign lands by someone with a D after their name. No difference, still wrong. Again, your premise is wrong. That is all.

[american socialist]

How many U.s. Troops-- outside of those protecting McDonalds from Iraqis that hate us-- are there in Iraq?

[Andrew S.]

Pop quiz: Who signed the agreement to pull troops out of Iraq?

[Paul.]

That wedding party was very carefully selected by Obama.

[Irish]

Answer: There are fewer troops than Obama would have liked to have, but he was forced to adhere to a timetable put in place by George Bush.

[american socialist]

Yeah right and John McCain would have pulled U.S. Troops out of Iraq. Quick question... Did he say that back in 2008? I forget...

My position is that many of you commenters are bitter Republicans and don't have a principled leg to stand on when you say you are for liberty and end up supporting Ted Cruz and Rand Paul.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

It seems that your position is "bottom," since you clearly enjoy being fucked by the guy you're shilling for.

[Sevo]

american socialist|1.28.14 @ 9:42PM|#
"It's pretty interesting that you libertarians can't wipe the spittle off your keyboard long enough to acknowledge that 5 yrs ago this country was involved in an imperialist war led by a Republican warmonger and that excuses were being made by some of the writers on this website about why we should have 100,000 troops stationed in Mesopotamia."

And now we are involved in an imperialist war by a Dem warmonger.
So there's that. And that AS is an ignoramus.

[american socialist]

I'm against the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Anyone that can't distinguish between the relative merit of those wars or the difference between the person that started the war and one that had to deal with George Bush's shit is the ignoramus

[Red Rocks Rockin]

"BECAUSE DRONING PEOPLE IS OKAY WHEN MY GUY DOES IT A BLOO BLOO BLOO!!"

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

"How do I reeeech out tp dees keeeedz?!"

[db]

Victory Headwaters Pale Ale. That is all.

[SweatingGin]

bourbon old fashioned. Out of gin. Out of vermouth.

[db]

Wow, I wouldn't have thought it possible.

[SweatingGin]

I haven't figured out a way to collect and bottle the perspiration without it having the salty flavor (yuck)

[db]

ewwww

[SweatingGin]

you started it.

[playa manhattan]

Hairy Eyeball. Again.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Big deal. Doesn't everybody go to college?

Women's studies major?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

When he gets to women's issues I really hope he talks about how many women are going to college and are getting master's degrees.

You know, because it would mean the president is verifying that Rand Paul was right about female advancement.

[Pi Guy]

Great. More Marcottes and Melitha Harrith Perryth.

*eye roll*

[playa manhattan]

How do I join the Pre-K teachers union? I see a bright future there...

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Yeah, my oldest sister is right now at Concordia taking classes for their teaching program.

She's going to be entering a pretty sweet racket if the system doesn't collapse in the next 10 years.

[playa manhattan]

It will, but the 10 years in the meantime will be nice.

[Bam!]

shikha sood dalmia
@shikhadalmia
If anything proves that libs don't believe in science, its their faith in pre-k.

[Rich]

Give me your 4-year-olds!

[AlmightyJB]

What complete bullshit. Even the progtards cant be buying all this bs.

[Bee Tagger]

The Austrian school says that the Fed creates those test bubbles with it's monetary policy.

[Bee Tagger]

Crap. I just ruined Ted S.'s night with that mistaken apostrophe.

[db]

Or is that "Ted S.' night?"

[Bee Tagger]

And here I thought not playing the drinking game would mean I wouldn't puke tonight.

[Rich]

See?! We *need* high-quality pre-K!

[jamesrk]

thats funny i thought i read a study once stating that early education did not make a damn bit of diffrence.

[Bee Tagger]

Quick, declare it fact before Obama does.

[db]

How long has this been going on, and how long will it last?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

That's what she said!

[SweatingGin]

Maybe he can start going Chavez-esque and do a 3 hour speech. Hell, start there, and then work up from it. By his "final" speech, he can start having the first ones to stop clapping after every line rounded up. Then it's just a matter of keeping the speech going to root out the opposition.

[VG Zaytsev]

Better yet, he'll start singing pop songs half way through his speech - Chavez style.

[SweatingGin]

link?

[american socialist]

Student loans are socialist fascist.

[Irish]

Shut the fuck up, Mary.

[Anonymous Coward]

Why do you support nondischargeable debt?

[Sevo]

american socialist|1.28.14 @ 9:45PM|#
"Student loans are socialist fascist."
No, you ignoramus, they just raise the cost of tuition.
But ignoramuses wouldn't know that, right?

[AlmightyJB]

Connecting them to NSA computers.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I just spoke to God and he concurs with me...on everything.

[SIV]

Nick Gillespie@nickgillespie
If your fetus isn't born knowing three languages we can't compete in globariffic economy #sotu

Nick reinforces his pro-choice cred

[Bam!]

How are you going to give each child a deferential media, Barack?

[american socialist]

Equal pay is socialist fascist.

[Sevo]

american socialist|1.28.14 @ 9:46PM|#
"Equal pay is socialist fascist."

Stupidity is socialist fascist.

[Rich]

Argh! "77 cents!"

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Pelosi makes more than most men.

[playa manhattan]

Especially paying non-union wages to the employees at her winery.

[Bam!]

Women get equal pay when they do equal work.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Free ICE-CREAM for EVERYONE!

[SIV]

War on Wimmenz!

[AlmightyJB]

Pander on.

[Pi Guy]

Mad Men episode? I think we called that the Clinton Administration

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's Keith Richards doing there? About to break into 'Happy?'

[american socialist]

Women are socialist fascist. Rand Paul forever!

[db]

Oh, I get it.

[Andrew S.]

I don't. Can you explain it to me? Because I'm pretty sure that "american socialist" has severe brain damage.

[db]

Guess who?

[Andrew S.]

I can't figure it out. Tony and Shrike are usually far more coherent than that.

[Irish]

It's Mary.

[Andrew S.]

I had forgotten about Mary!

[OldMexican]

There's something about Mary!

[GILMORE]

"There's something...."

...no, actually there's not.

[Byte Me]

Mr. socialist: You neglect to acknowledge the different choices in courses of study that men and women make. A man and a women in the same industry, same field, same discipline, with the same experience, and same education make about the same money. For a third time, your premise is wrong. That is all.

[Bam!]

That's what gets a standing ovation? More pandering to women? Don't you girls worrying your pretty little head, they government is here to take care of you!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Did the camera just show Smeagol dancing to the president's pro-women spiel?

[Rich]

We don't resent wealth -- We TAX it!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Who has a nicer tie? Boehner or Biden?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

....or we will make you.

[Rich]

"Do what you can to raise your employees' wages."

Fire some employees!

[Francisco d Anconia]

What is that shit in his ears?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I swear if one of my workers comes into my office asking for a raise citing Obama I will pull down my pants.

Even if it's Canada.

[Sevo]

I solved the problem; no employees. All contractors and all legal.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Uh-oh, someone's taking advantage of a loophole.

You've been warned.

[american socialist]

Mayors, governors, Costco... Socialist fascist.

[Sevo]

american socialist|1.28.14 @ 9:49PM|#

american socialist all imbecile

[SIV]

Costco!

[AlmightyJB]

Empty rhetoric. Wow. Who would have thought

[Bam!]

Obama spends more of other peoples money on other people to get other people to support Obama.

[Bam!]

Obama spends more of other peoples money on other people to get other people to support Obama.

[GILMORE]

I'm not watching, but make sure to tell me when to DRINK

[Rich]

NOW!

[goneGalt]

This is, like, the worst chat room ever!

[kibby]

Until 2016. & probably after that, too.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Just keep drinking.

[Byte Me]

Gilmore, if you just chugged for about an hour, that would about do it.

[Marc F Cheney]

What the fuck are you guys all talking about?

[Anonymous Coward]

Your mom?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Here it is, the magical multiplier effect!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

He let out how he arrived at $10.10. It's easy to remember.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Let me guess...

When Roosevelt told Morgenthau he was thinking of raising the price of gold by 21 cents, his entourage asked him why. "It's a lucky number", Roosevelt said. "Because it's three times seven." As Morgenthau later wrote, "If anybody knew how we really set the gold price through a combination of lucky numbers, etc., I think they would be frightened."

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Paging Dr. Bastiat, Dr. Bastiat to Capitol Hill please. You are urgently needed.

[Pi Guy]

$10.10/hr. Nope not poverty. And easy to remember. That's what really counts

Hell - why not make it $50/hr. Fitty's easy to remember, too

[kibby]

Let me be clear, I will not be satisfied until the dollar menu at every fast food restaurant is a fifty dollar menu.

[Bam!]

No risk, get rich quick: The MyRA way!

[Andrew S.]

Are there actually any federal contractors who make less than $10.10 per hour? I can't imagine there are.

[Rich]

"My RA"?

As in "Breckenridge'?

[mad libertarian guy]

Way better than the SOTU.

[AlmightyJB]

Government bonds. Thats new.

[Paul.]

Jesus, is this thing still going on?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's your favorite color?

[kibby]

Mine is orange!

[Bam!]

A president without a budget and a massive debt talking about financial security.

[Palin's Buttplug]

TARP mentioned.

Is that fair?

[db]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?f.....dbd9oGDWd0

[SIV]

The Republicans actually tried to make interest income non-taxable up to some modest amount. Dems blocked it claiming "only rich people save"

[jamesrk]

"in case you havent heard, we are in the process of fixing that"

[Pi Guy]

Boehner's face when TOTUS said, re: health care "In case you hadn't heard, we're in the process of fixing that.":

Priceless

[Bee Tagger]

I'm done.

[Rich]

Sebelius looks totally zonked out on something.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

To think Alamnian finds her attractive.

[Hyperion]

She's attractive in the same way that Judge Judy or Greta Van Susteren or Ellen DeGeneres is.

You know, you have to be a little sick to recognize it. Probably our own Impaled ButtPig fanaticizes about one of those dykes porkin him with a giant dildo, when he's not thinking about Obama.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I think there's an obvious reason why healthcare is tucked into the middle of this speech.

[Rich]

It'd be *awesome* if Boehner started crying.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I'm sorry, how is repealing Obamacare not a way to reduce costs and increase choice?

Remember those 4 million people that lost their plans?

[Sevo]

Yep, but 650,000 'signed up'! So there!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Yes, because your numbers add up. Suurree.

[Francisco d Anconia]

GOD, WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHE!

[Byte Me]

"Let's increase choices...by having the government determine what choices are available!"

Seriously, this is worse than I thought. I knew it would be bad, but HOLY FREAKING HELL. I don't know how much more I can take.

[Francisco d Anconia]

MOAR ALCOHOL!

[Bam!]

I ask every American with a pony to help those without get one. Help them get a pony.

[Rich]

Tell them "get covered or we'll fine your ass!"

[Rich]

Guns!

[Palin's Buttplug]

Background test the head cases!

No, that is like grabbing a gun from a Sovereign Citizen.

What to do?

[Paul.]

He'll never go after guns! It's a conspiracy by [fox news reporter]!

[Bam!]

Nick Gillespie
@nickgillespie
I propose a plan that will match each Kentuckian with a family in a another, better state. #sotu

[MJGreen]

We had cowards in my day. We called them Kentuckians!

[creech]

Does everyone else notice the Emperor is naked? Or is it just the total transparency we've heard so much about?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Okay, lesson not learned on gun control. Push that shit as hard you can, Mr. President.

[Francisco d Anconia]

There it is.

They just can't help themselves.

[Palin's Buttplug]

One sentence on guns. You must be deflated.

[Francisco d Anconia]

You must be an asshole.

[OldMexican]

Ding! Ding! Ding!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What about janitors? They're the ones who have to clean up America's mess! Why don't they get a shout out?

[Sevo]

Check the Min. Wage thread; an idjit there was claiming the janitors should make, uh, more than they do.

[Byte Me]

"In USSA, 'self government' means WE govern YOU."

[SweatingGin]

Mrs. Gin turned on the TV. Jesus, he's still going. He's really going to do the Chavez thing, isn't he?

[Byte Me]

Get on an Old Navy t-shirt?

[SweatingGin]

this is what I meant.

[Rich]

I blame Ran Paul and Ted Cruz!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

He's wrapping it up. He just needs to take credit for ending the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and saving us from the terrorists.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

America's longest war won't be over until the DEA is disbanded.

[mad libertarian guy]

America's longest war won't be over until the DEA is disbanded.

This.

Burn it down.

[Francisco d Anconia]

On the Bush timetable.

[Paul.]

*head in hands*

Jesus, America, collapse already.

[Andrew S.]

So is it wrong to have completely given up on the future? I'm terrified of what kind of future my daughter (now 4) is going to have the way we're going as a country.

[Paul.]

Well, it'll be like greece, so it won't be that bad. She'll have a full pension by 25, maybe 30. No one will actually work for a living, the government will finally be 100% corrupt and Canada will be bailing us out.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

With what? Oil or maple syrup?

[Paul.]

GUNS. What do I win?

[Rich]

DRONES!

[kibby]

Does he at least get a wedding to go along with those drones?

[Bam!]

You did hesitate, it's why we didn't go into Syria (thank god).

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

"I won't put our troops into harms way unless it is absolutely necessary....unless it's Syria and I need to cover my ass."

[Rufus J. Firefly]

So who will be the first to claim this was his most inspiring speech?

[goneGalt]

Tweety? (MSNBC)

[Andrew S.]

Rachel Maddow or whoever is on MSNBC once this crap is over would be the obvious answer.

[andarm16]

Always a safe bet.

[kibby]

Everyone I graduated high school with?

[Paul.]

Young invincibles.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Bah. I'm outta here. Gonna go check on the NHL scores for my pool.

[Paul.]

What does your pool have to do with the NHL? Did it freeze it over or something?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Not sure how to rebut.

[Byte Me]

Hmmm...insists that he doesn't want our troops overseas forever. Interesting that one legitimate power he DOES have is to bring the troops home. Equally interesting is that he chooses not to wield that one.

[Sevo]

He really wants to but BUUUUUUUUUUSH!

[Bam!]

Remaining true to our Constitutional ideals? He actually said that after all that? Ho-lee shit.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Didn't he promise to close that place like 6 years ago?

[playa manhattan]

Note that he asked congress to close it. I guess it isn't important enough for "executive action".

[Somalian Road Corporation]

His supporters don't give a shit because it's not the place and what went on there that truly offended them, but the identity of the person in charge.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

What goes on there. Why am I using past tense?

[kibby]

I seriously think they must laugh endlessly behind closed doors about that one.

"Did you hear? I totally said I was going to close that place again & I'll bet some of them actually believed it!"

[Paul.]

Stopping countries from getting nukes is like 'created or saved'. All these countries would be nuked up if it wasn't for domestic spying! NSA FTW!

[Rich]

We almost have lasting peace in the Middle East!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I was watching until my sister just changed it to Tosh.0. Which, of course, is more edifying than the vapid bullshit the president is spewing.

So good call.

[playa manhattan]

New or repeat?

[kibby]

New Kroll Show tonight, so I'd vote new.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I dunno, but it felt like a breathe of fresh air.

[Francisco d Anconia]

If only someone had a goal that the US would not get a Nuclear weapon.

[playa manhattan]

I have beer, and 4 turkey legs injected with mojo criollo roasting in the oven. I just don't care about this anymore.

[Rich]

He just used the F-word -- "Finally".

[Hyperion]

Let me be clear. I won't stop until every single American is making 100k a year, or until the average electric bill for a 2 bedroom apartment is 5k a month, or until a gallon of milk is $30, or until a gallon of gas is $45. You see my vision, biothces? Well, do you? No? Well, that's cause you aren't as smart as me. If you were, you'd be prez. But you aren't, I am! So shut up and adore me, peons! Maybe you can't take that vacation to the next town. Maybe you can't afford that new toaster oven... no one really needs a toaster oven... but we all have to sacrifice here. And while you're sacrificing over at the local diner, I'm gonna be sacrificing at Maui, bitches. Some of us, you know, me, we have to sacrifice more.

[Paul.]

Feeney: Mention Egypt! Pish tosh, we're nation building at home!

*cracks whip*

Now get back to work, that public sector swag doesn't supply itself!

[Bam!]

Obama believes that you should have a say in your government so strongly, he has personally task the NSA to gather your political beliefs.

[Bam!]

Brings home the gold? Didn't know Obama was down on the dollar.

[Irish]

I like this Obama guy's opinions about Guantanamo Bay. If only he'd been president for the last 5 years, maybe he could have done something about it.

[Hyperion]

He tried, but Rethuglicans stopped him. He somehow forgot about all his executive powers when it came to this issue, I suppose. Oh well, no one is totally perfect.

[mad libertarian guy]

He must also have forgotten about the Dem House and Senate he had for two fucking years. You know, the one that gave us the lovely ACA.

[Bam!]

Veteran pandering, incoming.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Yeah, I thought only the GOP got to do that.

[Bobarian]

Well, Bush is on his 4th term now.

Dick.

[Hyperion]

Umm, let's see. We have to supply tax payer funded dollars to our wounded warriors.

How about this, shitheads. STOP fucking getting us into totally useless wars and sending our children(not yours, fucking cowards, because that's not going to happen) and let's see how that works.

We need a new law, and gawd I hate that suggestion. But we need one that states that any congress critter voting for, or president signing off on an act of war, MUST send all of their eligible age children or them self, if they are of eligible age, to the front lines of the battle.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Look at the pretty libertarians suggesting that unwilling adults be forced into military service because of their parents' political positions.

[Bam!]

Starting to feel like one of those Wounded Warrior Project donation commercials.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Does he not realize that it's HIS FUCKING FAULT that Corey was on his fucking 10th deployment?

[kibby]

Um, Obama is perfect so clearly you're mistaken.

[andarm16]

Wouldn't that require a shred of self awareness?

[Somalian Road Corporation]

According to a distressing fraction of my Facebook feed absolutely everything, including their toast getting burned this morning, is the fault of those sinister Republicans. By the way, did you hear about Christie closing a bridge in New Jersey? Important stuff!

[SweatingGin]

The mic picking up Obama's clapping is scaring the hell out of me.

[Rich]

Don't stop applauding -- EVER!!

[Bam!]

They're really applauding themselves for being so kind to veterans.

[SweatingGin]

well put.

[juris imprudent]

They are applauding because masturbating in public is still frowned upon.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Cynicism aside, I think that was all genuine.

[Sevo]

So it's done?

[Palin's Buttplug]

OK, enough of using the poor fool as a prop.

[Paul.]

But then there'd be no speech.

[jamesrk]

Collective shoulder!

[Rich]

Whew.

[Francisco d Anconia]

THANK CHRIST!

[Bam!]

Jesse Walker
@notjessewalker
Our long national high school assembly is over.

[SIV]

THANK FUCKING GOD IT IS OVER

[american socialist]

These wounded veterans remind me why I held these people that launched these illegal and immoral wars with such visceral contempt.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Fuck off Mary.

[american socialist]

Libertarians supporting the Iraq War? Is that miniarchist or Anarcho-capitalist?

[Francisco d Anconia]

No one is supporting the Iraq war, Mary. It's your supporting the idiot who pulled out on Bush's timetable you bat-shit crazy cunt.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Slight correction: the idiot who wanted to continue the occupation beyond Bush's timetable...

[Sevo]

Fuck off Mary, but search this first:

"Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R., Calif.) had a simple question Wednesday for three of the Obama administration's top Afghanistan specialists: How many American troops have been killed in Afghanistan this year? None of the witnesses at the House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing on Afghanistan had an answer."

It's a WSJ vid with an addy too long to post here and Obo admin idjits too dumb to answer simple questions.
He also asked if anyone had any idea what it was costing; nope, not a clue.
But assholes like you could tell us to the penny what it cost when Bush was in office, right?
Oh, and fuck off.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

They're not coroners or accountants, they're SPECIALISTS.

[Dweebston]

Right? And that's an applause line.

Just sick.

[american socialist]

Nope, sick is what this last President did in Iraq. Barack Obama ended that war--one that his opponent in 2008 wouldn't have. What problem precisely do libertarians have with that?

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Unsurprisingly, you have it backwards. Bush negotiated a withdrawal in 2011 before leaving office, while BO attempted to strongarm the Iraqi govt into extending the occupation agreement as the deadline approached.

[american socialist]

Yes, Bush set all kinds of hypotheticals and never withdrew. It's pretty funny how "libertarians"-- and I put quotes around that word for a reason-- seem to be coming around to the presidency of George w. Bush. I wonder why that is.

[Sevo]

american socialist|1.28.14 @ 11:09PM|#
..."It's pretty funny how "libertarians"-- and I put quotes around that word for a reason"...

Yes, it's because you're an ignoramus.

[Irish]

Pointing out Obama's terrible is not supporting Bush.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

It wasn't a hypothetical, it was a treaty with the force of law, which BO wanted to abrogate.

I wonder why that is.

Same reason libertarians were nostalgizing the Clinton administration in 2005.... the guy who came after him incredibly found a way to be even worse.

[Paul.]

Obama drones only the good weddings, is the takeaway.

[Dweebston]

*ahem*

It's sick that people give riotous applause to dead and dismembered soldiers. I don't care what context. It's the dissociation from responsibility, whether on the presidents' or on Congress' or on the voters' parts generally, that disgusts us.

And no, your messiah ain't laudable for his hand in it.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

It's sick that people give riotous applause to dead and dismembered soldiers.

Umm, what? The soldier didn't choose a stupid, pointless mission, the civilian command did. He deserves all the applause he can get.

[Dweebston]

See below. Yes, you're right. But that's not what I'm objecting to. It's the applause, as though he's a blameless bystander who walked into this travesty and not a principle agent in facilitating it, that puts me in a sanctimonious fervor.

[Dweebston]

And to clarify, I could give a shit about the soldiering part. Yes, sad that you took a job involving marching around on occupied soil and had your nuts impelled into your brainpan by a landmine. That's real human tragedy, but kinda part of the job description. I'll bet the Iraqi civilians gunned down, blown up, or displaced from their ancestral homes feel pretty bad about it, too.

It's the distancing from accountability I find odious and sadly predictable.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

There's nothing inherently wrong with "marching around occupied soil" unless you want to impugn the guys who served in Germany and Japan in 1946. I agree that the Iraq War was misguided and immoral but that's not up to adrenaline addled 18yo to decide.

[Dweebston]

Absolutely agreed. I don't hold it against them. It's part of the job, and it's a tragedy when pain is visiting on anyone, including soldiers.

But the president doesn't get a pass on perpetuating unnecessary violence, and instigating new episodes, merely because he threw out some kind words for soldiers. That's what got my hackles up.

[Dweebston]

^visited

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

What about those who continued said wars for years after having the power to stop them?

[Sevo]

BUUUUUUUUUUUSH!
It's amazing. Obo picks up the phone, Bush says the magic words and Obo does what Bush wants!
It's the only way to explain it! Obo the 1st would never do those things otherwise.

[db]

Very nice, 2Chili.

[SweatingGin]

I really thought Obama's #SOTU apologies for NSA spying, IRS abuses, and Obamacare failures struck the most touching and sincere notes.

I really need a twitter not in my real name.

[Dweebston]

Like verbal ambien.

[Bobarian]

So, how many pinochios does the Post give him and how many does he actually deserve?

[OldMexican]

Re: American Stolid,

It's pretty interesting that you libertarians can't wipe the spittle off your keyboard long enough to acknowledge that 5 yrs ago this country was involved in an imperialist war led by a Republican warmonger

While, 5 years later, this country is now involved in other imperialists wars led by a different (and far dreamier!) warmonger.

and that excuses were being made by some of the writers on this website about why we should have 100,000 troops stationed in Mesopotamia.

Whereas other better excuses were being written in other and more progressive websites for stationing 100,000 troops in Khorasan. So there!

[SIV]

Fox's Chris Wallace just said something about "a path to legalization" and I thought he was talking about weed.

[Hyperion]

I can't believe that any of you actually watched the talking asshole.

I watched prospectors, and then the weather channel. MUCH MORE SUBSTANCE!

[OldMexican]

I am watching lovely reruns of Modern Family. And catching up on the speech by reading your comments, of course. Spare my sanity.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Hell no. If I need to prove I'm not racist I bate to Misty Stone.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Crash Test Dummies lead and Nick Gillespie: separated at birth?

[juris imprudent]

This is the most cogent comment you have ever made, or ever will. Enjoy the moment.

P.S. I always like CTD because it was sung in my register.

[Dweebston]

Even worse is the fucking post-game commentary.

If they breathlessly lauded the speech and mirrored the president's platitudes, I might at least shrug at the credulity of true believers. But that's not it at all: it's a bloodless technical analysis of how well the speech will go over with various pressure groups and voting blocs. It's like an ESPN wrap-up without any of the levity.

[Sevo]

"it's a bloodless technical analysis of how well the speech will go over with various pressure groups and voting blocs."

Nothing matters other than that. The sounds were mouthed, the Tonys of the world salivated, and the only question is how did the saner portions of the population respond?
I remember when the Super Dome was built; the only question was "who wrote the insurance?"; all else is commentary.

[Irish]

CNN just compared Barack Obama's speech to sex.

[jamesrk]

A TINGLE DOWN MY PANT LEG!

[kibby]

Wait, seriously?

[Irish]

Yes.

[kibby]

I feel like I'm too young to be this hopeless about this future, but there it is.

[juris imprudent]

All of CNN or just an idiot or two?

[Irish]

It was Alex Castellanos.

"I think I've said before that I think a speech by Barack Obama is a lot like sex, the worst there ever was is still excellent," the political consultant said Tuesday during CNN's coverage immediately following the president's speech. The comment earned puzzled looks from his fellow CNN contributors Stephanie Cutter and Newt Gingrich.

[juris imprudent]

He's probably fucking Lena Dunham.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Long, boring, and with a lot of insincere noise at the end. CNN must not have a great sex life.

[Irish]

It seems to go on forever, has annoying applause breaks, and people are watching me on their T.V.s with hate in their eyes.

[SweatingGin]

Republican response is terrible. Trying to setup a more moderate Palin. But it did yield this wonderful line:

"Whether we're born with an extra 21st chromosome or..."

[Irish]

HAHAHAHA! I'm not watching, but all the conservatives on my twitter feed are talking about how great it is and blah blah blah.

It's unsurprising that that's just partisan stupidity.

[Tony]

I felt awful for the things going through my head when she said that.

[SweatingGin]

you should feel more ashamed of yourself than normal.

[Sevo]

That's presuming the life-form known as Tony has self-awareness sufficient for shame.
From the posts here, that is doubtful. Piles of shit have no self-awareness.

[kibby]

One blog on Tumblr is making fun of him not knowing how to pluralize "curriculum", so there's a small shining moment in the evening.

[SweatingGin]

That's Racist!

[kibby]

I'm not clever enough to turn that into Latin.

[SweatingGin]

how about an animated gif? That's Racist!

That kid is awesome. He's probably 15 or older by now.

[kibby]

That kid is awesome. & now I feel really old, thanks.

[Anonymous Coward]

You shut your damn mouth! He went to Harvard! HARVARD! Did you go to Harvard? No? Then clearly you're a land grant college dunce and Obama is a genius!

P.S. You're a racist.

[kibby]

Man, wouldn't you be embarrassed if I HAD gone to Harvard?

[Anonymous Coward]

Not at all. I had good intentions. That's all that matters.

[kibby]

Dammit, I forgot that FEEEELINGZZ are all that matters!

[Dweebston]

My brother: "This woman is a retard."

Me: "No, but she thinks you are."

[GILMORE]

All I have learned today is that Shrike is getting angry at Crazy Mary for being even fucking dumber than he is and stealing all his (its) attention.

[Francisco d Anconia]

+1 bat-shit crazy

[cavalier973]

I rant about the minimum wage.

[american socialist]

I like this chirpy optimistic Republican. It's got to be hard to do this response. It's total utter bullshit, of course, and inoffensive as vanilla paste.

This is what I read between the lines... I've got a kid with Down's Syndrome and if I choose to raise a Down's Syndrome child it should be classified as murder if someone else chooses to do something different and end that pregnancy. Am I reading in too much?

[Paul.]

Mmmno, that's pretty much it. I mean people who are against abortion do see human life as starting in the womb, so... ergo, killing the fetus is akin to murder.

If you're just discovering this now, just wait what you'll discover when you get into 7th grade!

[Tony]

Which drug cocktail do you endorse for executing women who get abortions?

[SweatingGin]

Good question. You should ask it of politicians, record their response, and post it on youtube.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Most murderers aren't executed anyway, but the only drug cocktail I support for executions is lead with copper frosting. Let's see the Eurorrhoids try to interfere with that.

[Tony]

If anyone deserves the needle it's baby murderers, n'est-ce-pas?

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Well, totality of circumstances and all has to be considered.

SCOTUS is unlikely to countenance an analogue of D+C for an adult's body, so we'll have to stick with the lead.

[Tony]

Premeditated murder of a defenseless baby; the motive? It was a potential inconvenience. Yeah, mitigating factors abound.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Coping lumpen spongier equivocator.

[Sevo]

Tony|1.28.14 @ 11:15PM|#
"If anyone deserves the needle it's baby murderers, n'est-ce-pas?"
Fuck off, shitbag.

[Paul.]

Which drug cocktail do you endorse for executing women who get abortions?

Boy, Tony, you just went full retard.

[OldMexican]

Re: Tony,

Which drug cocktail do you endorse for executing women who get abortions?

A few minutes of your drivel will drive them to self-immolation. Far cheaper. Not very humane, though...

[Paul.]

Tony, do they teach reading comprehension in 9th grade? I hope so. You should make sure you have it if it's an elective.

[Tony]

I think it's a valid curiosity. If you think abortion is equivalent to child murder, then you must think the punishment doled out for child murder should apply to mothers who get abortions and doctors who perform them. The sheer callousness and psychopothy involved in murdering a poor little baby with ample foresight merely because the baby would inconvenience you almost makes me want to bring back Old Sparky.

[OldMexican]

Re: Tony,

If you think abortion is equivalent to child murder,

It is not "equivalent" to child murder. It is murder. There're no gradations of murder; there's no "child murder" or "woman murder" or "computer scientist murder," only murder.

then you must think the punishment doled out for child murder should apply to mothers who get abortions and doctors who perform them.

Indeed. I prefer shunning and banishment, myself. I can't fathom the kind of sick or twisted ideas of punishment your mind harbors, for my eternal relief.

[Tony]

It is not "equivalent" to child murder. It is murder. There're no gradations of murder; there's no "child murder" or "woman murder" or "computer scientist murder," only murder.

No, not really at all. (Christ you live and die by the law of "simpler shit is better.") We attach degrees to murder, based on cultural moral norms about culpability. I'll cautiously presume that you're familiar with the distinctions.

Abortion = murder of baby. It was premeditated (murder 1). Its motive was especially callous (the little shit got in the way of my eating bonbons). And it was a baby, the murder of which juries are entitled to judge more harshly.

You can only be for banning abortion if you're prepared to apply pretty much your maximum capital punishment to its practitioners.

[OldMexican]

Re: Tony,

We attach degrees to murder,

No, "we" don't.

based on cultural moral norms about culpability.

You're certainly clueless about the subjects you discuss. You're confusing murder with manslaughter.

You can only be for banning abortion if you're prepared to apply pretty much your maximum capital punishment to its practitioners.

And you're engaging in question-begging. Who told you that crime and punishment have to be judged and dispensed by a state? Your whole argumentation is based on this assumption. Like I said: I prefer banishment and shunning myself, as in I would never engage in trade or deal with a murderer.

[Tony]

Sometimes I forget you're a complete loon. Do come again when you're prepared to talk about the world human beings inhabit.

[OldMexican]

Re: Tony,

Do come again when you're prepared to talk about the world human beings inhabit.

Yes, lets.

"What do you mean slavery is immoral? Come back when you are willing to talk about the real world!"

Same shit, different asshole.

[juris imprudent]

No a valid curiosity is how many times you can be donkey punched by Shaquille O'Neill before you pass out from orgasmic overload.

[Paul.]

I think it's a valid curiosity. If you think abortion is equivalent to child murder,

Reading comprehension 100. An introduction for people who failed last semester. In the following statement, explain where the writer claimed to believe that abortion is child murder. Extra credit for those can guess the disposition of the writer.

Mmmno, that's pretty much it. I mean people who are against abortion do see human life as starting in the womb, so... ergo, killing the fetus is akin to murder.

Extra extra credit, show how Tony actually isn't pro choice, where almost everyone here is.

[Tony]

My question was about capital punishment. I don't know where we went off the rails.

[Paul.]

My question was about capital punishment. I don't know where we went off the rails.

You have so utterly failed to grok the point, Tony, that I'm just bowing out. Good luck in your future endeavors.

[Tony]

A good grok is hard to come by. This is a message board!

[Sevo]

Tony|1.28.14 @ 11:55PM|#
"My question was about capital punishment. I don't know where we went off the rails."

Very simple; when you posted here.
You've never posted in good faith so it shouldn't be surprising that people take you as the pile of shit you are and respond in kind.

[Sevo]

"Extra extra credit, show how Tony actually isn't pro choice, where almost everyone here is."

Not worth it. The only possible reward is Tony being shamed.
Piles of shit such as Tony do not have self-awareness such as to be capable of shame.

[Paul.]

I voted for Gary Johnson, bitch!

[Byte Me]

Dido. Second vote (ever) was for Robert Sarvis.

[Dweebston]

Dido.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Never forget!

ROMNEY WOULD HAVE DONE IT TOO!!!!!!!11!!!!

[Byte Me]

Time for STOSSEL!

[Francisco d Anconia]

Have I mentioned I like Stossel?

(Okay, I'm late.)

[Byte Me]

"(Okay, I'm late.)"

That's what she said.

[Tony]

Ohhhh. You're one of those guys who thinks that having read Ayn Rand makes you a member of the FOX News elite consumers club.

But curious, and pardon my redundancy, Stossel is libertarianism for dummies.

[OldMexican]

Re: Tony,

But curious, and pardon my redundancy,

I pardon your redundancy.

[Byte Me]

I don't believe many people at FNC have read Ayn Rand, or take her seriously for that matter. Your premise is wrong. That is all.

P.S.
It is striking that "for dummies" tends to mean "for understanding by people who have been failed by the public schooling system". This tends to also, support a larger market, but it still more intellectual than "the rich are evil". Discern what you will, which i suspect will be very little. That is all.

[Tony]

I presume someone naming himself after a character in Atlas Shrugged has read the book. But it wouldn't surprise me one bit if he'd only read Ayn Rand for Dummies.

[Byte Me]

"Byte Me" is a character in Atlas Shrugged??..Not to my knowledge. Of course, "Bite Me You Fucking Totalitarian Prick" may have been unwieldy as a 'Reason' handle, so I refrained from it. As I suspected, you discerned very (less than) little. But, do keep trying. You might 'get it' one day.

[Sevo]

Tony|1.28.14 @ 11:37PM|#
..."But curious, and pardon my redundancy, Stossel is libertarianism for dummies."

Well, obviously not 'for dummies' enough; you are still confused.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

So how'd it end?

[Sevo]

I didn't watch, but I'll hazard a guess it ended stupidly.

[Tony]

That's no way to stay informed about Obama, the overwhelming obsession of your political life.

[Sevo]

Tony|1.28.14 @ 11:13PM|#
"That's no way to stay informed about Obama, the overwhelming obsession of your political life."

Fuck off, shitbag.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Gimmick bunker pismire squadron leader jabber wind afforestation methylene blue.

[Tony]

I'm beginning to assemble an interesting psychological profile from these exercises. Do carry on.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Board leverage scilla?

[Tony]

I diagnose thee a terminal Randroid. Let your folks down easy.

[Sevo]

Tony|1.28.14 @ 11:41PM|#
"I diagnose thee a terminal Randroid. Let your folks down easy."

I'm sure a diagnosis from a pile of shit is of interest to, well, other piles of shit.

[Sevo]

Tony|1.28.14 @ 11:34PM|#
"I'm beginning to assemble an interesting psychological profile from these exercises. Do carry on."
The fantasies of an imbecile; do carry on.

[SweatingGin]

He's resigning the presidency effective at noon tomorrow. Obamacare and ARRA dog parks won't be enforced by the executive branch, and the FDA is instructed to reconsider the classification of weed as schedule I.

[american socialist]

This was fun. Good night Republicans. Let's do it again next year.

[Sevo]

G'night, ignoramus.

[SweatingGin]

good night, Mary, hope it's a year til the next time we see you.

[OldMexican]

Re: american stolid,

This was fun. Good night Republicans

Good night, John-boy!

[Byte Me]

I think it is more than fair to say that proggies do not even make the slightest attempt to determine what libertarians believe before trolling them.

P.S.
Socialism = Force
So go F!ck Yourself, am. socialist. That is all.

[Irish]

It's not really a progressive. It's Mary. She's just mentally ill.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Yeah, um, wasn't she permanently banned? How did she sleaze her way back in? It's obviously her.

[Byte Me]

I was under the impression that all "progressives" were mentally ill, with the constant/incessant supporting of tried and failed social/economic policy.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Come on John, there are no conservative or liberal wings of libertarianism. I hate this shit. It makes it sound like everything is an offshoot of the TEAMS. What bullshit.

[Tony]

Factionalism exists even in your ragtag band. Good luck taking over all of modern civilization, especially with all those rules keeping people from doing things in large groups and the persistent nonexistence of unicorns.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Elapid nutria silent butler.

[OldMexican]

Re: Tony,

Factionalism exists even in your ragtag band. Good luck taking over all of modern civilization

"Only those that remain loyal to the Party and the leader shall conquer the world!"

Your fascist bona fides bubble out from time to time, Tony.

[Tony]

You're conflating fascist ends with practical means. But don't get me wrong, I believe the best political path for libertarians for the purpose of achieving the best world is for them to continue being hung up on purity tests over actually achieving political influence.

[OldMexican]

Re: Tony,

You're conflating fascist ends with practical means.

What the hell are you talking about, you nitwit? Who other than authoritarian fascists or imperialists would want to "take over civilization"?

[Tony]

Libertarians.

[Sevo]

Tony|1.28.14 @ 11:57PM|#
"Libertarians."

Of course! Libertarians collect wealth at the point of a gun, right?
What a sorry excuse for a human being.

[Tony]

The essential check on your would-be authoritarian takeover. You'd never be able to pay for it.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

The essential check on your would-be authoritarian takeover. You'd never be able to pay for it.

Our current quasi-socialist system isn't exactly paying for itself either.

55 years and counting of the national debt increasing.

[OldMexican]

Ha ha ha!

Ah, how quaint. Projection.

[Sevo]

Tony|1.28.14 @ 11:51PM|#
..."But don't get me wrong,"...
Oh, don't worry, shit-boy, we got your number when you walked in the door!
Your stench gave it away...

[Byte Me]

You'll get a participation trophy...

[Francisco d Anconia]

?

[Byte Me]

As in "sharing" beliefs with the conservative and liberal wings of the TEAMS.
Possibly a bad adolescent sports joke?

[Francisco d Anconia]

Ahh. Got it.

[Francisco d Anconia]

It will be 9/11 times 1000.

[RishJoMo]

Sometimes man, you jsut have to roll with the punches. Wow.

http://www.Anon-Stuff.tk