Tonight on The Independents: Greg Gutfeld on Independence & Libertarianism, Judge Napolitano on the NSA, John Stossel on Climate Policy…Plus Big Booties, Army Robots, and Some of Your Hate Mail!
Wednesday night episodes of Fox Business Network's The Independents (9 pm ET, 6 pm PT, repeats at midnight) have tended to be libertarian red-meatathons…so no reason to stop now. Did you want Andrew Napolitano talking bracingly about politicians and journalists who would throw Edward Snowden under the Espionage Act bus? You got it. John Stossel explaining how you can conclude that mankind is contributing to the warming of the planet without wishing to regulate capitalism out of existence? Check. And multi-show Fox News degenerate (and smashing television success) Greg Gutfeld talking about how hanging out with liberals makes you conservative but hanging out with conservatives makes you libertarian? You betcha.
The Party Panel tonight consists of National Review writer and The End Is Near and It's Going to Be Awesome author Kevin Williamson, and comedian Tom Shillhue, who will talk about Obamacare's impact on full-time work, Obama's initiative to combat campus sex-crime, the military's enthusiasm for death-robots, and the proposed American pullout from Afghanistan.
Other topics likely to come up: Violent crackdowns on jaywalking, the 15-pound baby, Katy Perry's wish to talk aliens with Obama, Kanye West's latest Kanyisms, and Jen "Big Booty" Selter's big new sports deal. And sealing the deal will be a dramatic reading of viewer hate mail, including choice selections from last night's comments string!
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Ceterum censeo Washingtonium esse delendam.
Cutting this one pretty close.
All that pre-show partying must be getting to Matt.
Green room .... green day! Amirite?
no shit. just hit record so only missed the intro. little more heads up next time people.
INDEPENDENTS GATHER, ACCUMULATE, COLLECT, AMASS, DRAW TOGETHER...
Coagulate?
Congeal?
But what about today's biggest and most horrifying story:
The Captain and Tennille are divorcing!
If love couldn't keep them together what hope is there for the rest of us?
OK, I'll admit it: I don't get how you can be married to someone from your early 30s for forty years and then, in your early 70s, decide it's over.
I don't understand either, unless you suddenly decide you'd like to die alone. Because it's not likely you'll find someone else.
INDEPENDENTS CONGREGATE!*
*I was contacted by FoE's attorney who provided me with a cease and desist order. The word "assemble" [1] is the Intellectual Property of Fist of Etiquette Enterprises as coined in the phrase "Team Stossel assemble!" [1] (Have I mentioned I like Stossel?) and any unattributed use of the word would result in prosecution to the fullest extent of federal law. I regret any inconvenience or confusion this may cause to viewers of The Independents.
1. Fist of Etiquette, Reason Blog, March 24th 2011, 10:02PM
Now I'm upset that you're not using assemble.
Then call off your attack dogs.
Oh, they're harmless.
Just don't show any fear.
Let's see where Kennedy falls on the hyper scale tonight.
On a scale of 8 to 10?
Gutfled is a huge, huge support of the NSA. He is no longer even remotely a libertarian.
Er, supporter.
And one of those people who think Snowden should be murdered.
Bring that up on the show, maybe? On Red Eye, all the guests either agree with it or just laugh.
Pretty much why I stopped watching Red Eye. (That and that Mike Baker guy from the CIA always being on there)
Kennedy busted him on that when he was guest-hosting O'Reilly last Friday.
Doh!
Ooh, there he is!
Hallelujah!
Kennedy in a dickie?
Ooooooh, Stossel. Have I mentioned...
Dreamcatcher earrings tonight. You have to give her points for originality.
Gutfeld is worth two guests.
Li Na v. Eug?nie Bouchard, and Dominika Cibulkov? v. Agnieszka Radwa?ska. Who are your picks?
Personally, I'd like to see the winner of the Cibulkov?/Radwa?ska match win the title. Cibulkv? can barely see over the net, and I know a lot of fans who have a really negative view of Radwa?ska for allegedly being a pusher. Her winning the title would cause a lot of heads to explode.
Li Na over Bouchard just on experience alone, but I'm always interested in seeing upsets.
Na to win it all.
She's beating up on Bouchard right now.
Is Gutfeld predictable?
Oh sure, you take hate comments from one of the times I didn't watch the show.
I have all sorts of terrible things to say about you people, but now you're never going to get to hear them.
I just want to say, all my comments were from a place of love.
We will make it regular. And regularly avoid omit you!
Maybe later you can regularly learn write sentence all proper like.
Imagine a Russian accent, or something? Hard to type between segments/drinks.
And regularly avoid omit you!
I recognize the words, but what do they mean put together?
He saw you coming, JeremyR.
Who told the straight man he could zing Kennedy?
Bonds was skinny when he was a Pirate.
And then Greg became a Muppet after being around Kennedy.
WHAT OTHER TOOL DO THEY HAVE TO FORCE CHANGE? WORDS?
Mistakes were made, old men were beaten.
"I'm a big supporter of police."
One wonders if Greg has ever read Balko.
I am disappointed he didn't get the lemon party joke.
Is that anything like a rainbow party?
google it.
NO GLOVE NO LOVE
Bartenders have to wear the same gear as proctologists?
A million to one shot doc! A million to one!
How often do they have to change those gloves? That goes for both bartenders and proctologists.
Moooooon riverrrrr...
Two by two, hands of blue.
I'm getting a strange feeling of love for sumo wrestlers from this episode.
Maybe he wouldn't have been hit nine times if he didn't present such a target.
OH SNAP KENNEDY
Question: When the fuck does Greg Gutfeld sleep? As far as I can tell he's on every show Fox has from about 10 A.M. until 4 in the morning.
He's the product of certain experiments. That involve lobotomy.
I don't want to alarm anyone but on Epix3 right now is Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.
They find him.
I don't own it. For a reason.
The Fresh Prince's uncle? I thought he was dead.
Shel Silverstein jokes, Kennedy? What are you, my sister?
hanging out with conservatives makes you libertarian? You betcha.
Not that Gutfeld, a lover of Stop 'n Frisk and NSA surveillance would know anything about that.
Why does Gutfeld call himself a libertarian? He's a Republican with some good ideas about drug legalization.
He created The Dawson's Creek but he can't wear a shirt and tie under his suit coat?
Wait, this guy is just a comedian?
He working up a bit and Kennedy won't let him hit his stride.
Kennedy plus knives explains a lot.
DEMS NEEDS THE COLLEGIATE VOTE.
Obama is focusing on sex assault because he's finally remembered what Michelle did to him. It was buried for a long time.
Proctologist finally found it.
A million to one shot doc! A million to one!
Had to change gloves three times.
Is Kennedy going to go all rape-rape?
That jacket frightens me.
Weezer as the bumper song? Kennedy must be having flashbacks to her time as a VJ.
Turn the volume down on your sets, boys. The Judge is about to shout Constitution at you.
Some of us are Vagina Americans.
I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT.
WANNA CHECK?
Pix plz thx
This is why there are no female libertarians and an obese trucker decided to pretend he was The Worst.
Trucker?!?
This is why there are no female libertarians.
...I've made a huge mistake.
No, Epi's just a creep.
If you yell EPI STOP CREEPING over and over again, he might go away.
That sounds like a lot of work.
Just loop it on your voicemail, I'll get tired eventually.
He's like Swiper.
EPI NO CREEPING!
EPI NO CREEPING!
EPI NO CREEPING!
Yay, we did it!
I have it on good authority that there are no female libertarians, so you must be lying.
Little known fact: Nicole, Kristen, and Invisible Furry Hands are actually all played by the same obese male trucker.
None of them are actually real.
What ever happened to Dagny?
I don't know.
I'm still reeling from the fact that Stormy Dragon ended up being a dude. What kind of a man would name himself that?
Thank God that guy is gone. He was insufferable.
I'm pretty sure that SD is a lady-type.
Is she really a dude?
Stormy Dragon was a man.
I know. What kind of dude would name himself Stormy Dragon?
What? Stormy also had the worst LiveJournal ever.
I had totally forgotten about him.
Did he leave a trail of tears or just vanish entirely?
WTF happened to Sparky, BTW. They sparred a few times.
Haven't seen Jim/Gojira in a long time either.
Who is Kennedy waving to?
Kennedy is awestruck?
Yeah, because that's the first thing a spy does is to expose himself by delivering his secrets to the enemy VIA A NEWSPAPER.
Holy crap, he looks 30 pounds lighter than the reruns from his old show. And he's not shouting.
It's like he half started doing coke. Or half stopped.
Sling that mud, Judge. Hammer Rogers good.
Who isn't afraid of being kidnapped by the CIA?
Snowden likes Ron Paul? EXECUTE HIM.
WHY CAN'T PEOPLE LIKE THIS BE RUNNING OUR GOVERNMENT.
Because sane people don't want that job.
The government doesn't give a shit if popular sentiment is leaning towards Snowden. That's sort of the point.
Stop leading the witness Kmele.
The judge issuing a scathing indictment of the justice system and Obama.
Yup.
2 minutes of pure sanity.
Didn't use the word "constitution" once.
Yes, the Espionage Act of 1917 was created out of war hysteria and anti-anarchist and anti-communist fear mongering.
Why do people still think Wilson and Oliver Wendall Holmes are authorities on the matter of free speech?
Holmes was horribly awful but he actually did improve on free speech over time.
Wilson was just pure evil.
Holmes did have redeeming decisions, but what I am amazed at is how many people quote ad nauseum his "fire in a crowded theater" line when it was plainly wrong and hasn't been case precedent since the 40s.
Her vajj.
Bam, I think she's actually a lot less hyper than usual tonight. 6 at most.
Stossel's mustache must have a calming effect.
...and then Kanye insisted that he was not, in fact, a gay fish.
This show is feeling kind of phoned in.
It said the same thing about your comments.
And it's your fault for bitching about Kennedy being too hyper. Hope you're happy.
Aye.
Kanye is the Bob Ross of the music industry.
Why are you dissing Bill Alexander?
Misdirection. Katy Perry IS an alien.
Matt thought that Russell Brand was Katy Perry.
The bowling alley reminded him of the Special Olympics.
Big ass, no tits. Meh.
According to Matt, 10 years ago, Salon had an article on Jennifer Lopez's butt. Coincidentally, that was the last good journalism they did.
Asses. It IS something they know a thing or two about.
I don't know. Their article about The Legend of Zelda being classist, racist, and sexist is still the funniest thing I've ever read.
Kmele is lovestruck. It leaves him speechless.
The inveterate liars of moveon.org have a vast library of insipid propaganda. Fun fact- the name "Move on" was coined when Democrats were urging people to "move on" from the Lewinsky scandal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObOpIQksI0k
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_MoveOn.org
I thought they were trying to "Move On" from BUUUUUUUUUSH!
Two minute hate: who gets a shoutout? Place bets now.
I'm gonna go with your mom.
Shit dude, Kennedy just "and YOUR MOM"
Mind: blown.
I AM IN CONTROL OF YOUR TELEVISION. I CONTROL THE HORIZONTAL AND THE VERTICAL.
What about the diagonal?
Stossel jumping the gun.
Stossel shows up when Stossel's ready, bitches.
Also, Barry Goldwater once said he repeatedly asked his friend General Curtis LeMay if he might have access to the secret "Blue Room" at Wright Patterson Air Force Base, alleged by numerous Goldwater constituents to contain UFO evidence. According to Goldwater, an angry LeMay gave him "holy hell" and said, "Not only can't you get into it but don't you ever mention it to me again."
If she says "womb broom", finish your drink.
Stossel isn't a denier, he's a prevaricator!
Serious question: when are you going to have Richard Sherman on the show?
Super serious question: When are you going to have Richard Simmons on the show?
When are you going to have the ghost of Sherman Hemsley on the show?
Having both on at the same time might be the greatest show of all time, except for the Manimal series premiere.
Working on a Super Bowl Friday show for next week, so....
Don't lead me on like that, Matt.
Kmele, your stock is dropping.
funny, I was just about to complement Kmele (mostly based on a few nights ago with income/wealth questioning, but still)
"Cancelling subsidies to Planned Parenthood is the same as forcing women to get coat hanger abortions!"
-Moveon.org
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zCJigrTb9Q
DERP!
I wonder if they still hate the Komen bastards.
Jumping into the Hudson is the mark of the truly insane. Congratulations, John.
When Stossel says "The Hudson", he's referring to Kate.
"Your Mom."
Someone's reading the comments.
... Hobbit
I'll call it a 'redmeatathon' when you guys bust the chops of that sleazy Marxist.
Until then, it's another talk show.
Something similar to your sentiment might be getting read out loud near the end of the program.
Spoiler alert.
A.I., not Terminator.
Hunter Killers.
Autonomous robots don't feel pity, or remorse. Unless they're number five, in which case they might be alive.
Which one was Grace Park?
Someone hasn't seen a certain Steve Guttenberg movie.
I was totally going for Battlestart Galactica, of course. but wow.
Cocoon?
Police Academy?
Who the hell is Steve Guttenberg?
I'LL KILL YOU
Short Circuit bitches!!!
The guy who played Kris Kringle, Jr., in Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. It's a Hallmark Christmas classic!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rbBN5krmAU
Number 8.
You are number six.
I am not a number! I am a free man!
You are number two.
That is a poop joke.
Will there be disintegration chambers?
Someone hasn't seen a certain Steve Guttenberg movie.
Short Circuit?
Police Academy, you fool.
Because Obama could seem pro-security while still being anti-Iraq.
So then we didn't break Afghanistan. So, yay us.
WE DO! WE DO!
Who says robots won't take over. Watch how agile these mini-drones are.
http://www.bing.com/videos/sea.....8424598E10
Hummingbirds are agile, they haven't taken over. Checkmate.
Think you could sneak a few of these past the Secret Service and knock off the Prez?? Yes, you could.
Hate mail is what Kennedy receives regarding her earrings.
My comments on her earrings are from a place of love.
I seriously didn't know they'd quote my Cleopatra comment when I posted that. Now I'm freaked out.
I, too, am freaked out by your eerie prescience.
Get out of my head!!!
My heart jumped/sank when I say 'gin', although I've never seen that poster before, and wasn't here late enough for it.
You know who else got hate mail?
DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT KENNEDY HATE MAILERS
"Who thought up this joke?"
Oh Matt, that guy sure got your number.
You suck...TWICE!
EPI! HATE MAIL!!!!
I got two!!! I win!!!
What do I win?
I only got one. I'm jealous.
Christ...as if he wasn't insufferable before.
Boom. Now the Fox viewing public knows how awful Episiarch is.
50 people down, 8 billion to go.
AIGGHHH LOU DOBBS
AH! Lou Dobbs.
Epi gets not one but TWO shoutouts!!
Affirmative action.
Look, it's only fair that I get special advantages after what your people did to my people.
My people never hunted gay monsters. They only hunted heterosexual monsters. Sheesh.
Back to Buckaroo Banzai. . .
... Hobbit
A classic!
I love the first two because they were clearly from conservative Fox News watchers who were just royally pissed that libertarians have a show.
It's also very appropriate that Epi got two. Pretty much every one of his posts is vile enough to make two minute hate.
Also, if Matt's still here, is this going to be a regular segment? I kind of enjoyed it.
If it becomes a regular segment, it's going to become a competition.
I'm guessing that might be the point. And I wholeheartedly approve.
There could be some really atrocious and vile comments down here if people started trying to one up each other.
This entire comment section would become a digital hate crime.
& that would be a change how?
Don't forget, the NSA is watching, listening, reading, and recording.
Aye!
Hell yeah!
We certainly enjoyed it! And the funny thing is, after sifting through the first tranche of proposed hate-Tweets and hate-mail, I was all, "Dude, one H&R comments thread produces more pure bile than that!" (paraphrase.) And sho' nuff, etc.
But do not rule out the possibility of these incentives being WAY REVERSED in the near future....
Our bile is full of love, Matt. Love-bile. You know what I mean.
Oh, don't you back-pedal now.
My hate-bile bladder is refilling. I'll be ready again soon. Honestly, this never happens to me!
The bile here is mostly good-natured, like commenting on Kennedy's earnings or how your tie tonight looked like you strung up Kermit the Frog.
You guys obviously have a lot of fun on the show, and I do appreciate that.
Seriously though, are any advertisers pounding on your door? Or is it just network commercials?
I'd be really encouraged if advertisers were asking for your show (and demographic, whatever that is) by name.
Apparently the Giant Angry Beaver bailed on them.
I love those commercials. They're so sexist.
Last night is the first time I've seen "dry_gin_wet_Farts", and it wasn't me.
My bile comes from love.
You know now you've just encouraged people to talk shit about The Independents.
It's not as if there's anything good to say about it.
Hatemail/read H&R should be a daily (or at least weekly) segment
Yes, which would require people to watch. So the show has finally discovered the Glenn Beck-method of attaining viewers/listeners.
Any attention is good attention.
"Hey Beavis. He said 'Pull out.' Hehehehehehehe."
I found the video that best encapsulates Robert Reich's ignorance. Marvel as he explains how restructuring companies to make them more profitable is the worst thing ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rodifJlis2c
I wonder if he ever thought that maybe, just maybe, cutting salaries and laying people off is a way to keep a company from going under and putting even more people out of work.
It's late in Kiev, mostly flaming barricades now.
There's a lesson in there.
Not sure if you saw this earlier, but:
Ukraine sent a text message to protestors
My take: If you *don't* overthrow the government, they'll throw you in a gulag. Have fun protesting, we know where you live.
I *may* be overreacting. It's hard to come up with another explanation, though.
Two online purchases per year, Argentina
Shits geting real, real quick.
Texas executes Mexican cop-killer despite pleas from the Obama administration.
American authorities in many cases involving foreign murder suspects failed to notify the suspect's country's consul as required by a treaty - and the suspects went on to get convicted and sentenced to death. The cure, say the State Dept and the International Court of Justice, is to spare the convict's life or hold new hearings. Texas says no.
http://cir.ca/news/texas-executes-foreigners
Generally, in these cases the courts have found that these people got the death sentence because they were murderers, and the denial of consular access was harmless error.
But the State Department is worried that other countries now won't tell American consuls when an American is arrested.
Of course you have to tell the consul of the guy's country when he's arrested, but does that mean overturning guilty verdicts and sentences? Wouldn't a compensation payment be enough?
HuffPo reporter outdoes the North Korean media: "No signs of a pro-life rally on the National Mall today, except for this sign honoring life -- in the garbage."
http://thefederalist.com/2014/.....ngton-d-c/
Walter Duranty is like, "wow, this chick is oblivious!"
Matt Welch|1.22.14 @ 9:47PM|#
"Something similar to your sentiment might be getting read out loud near the end of the program."
OK, Matt, so I'm not the only one to gripe.
Until someone DOES something about those gripes, you got Oprah Winfrey minus the tears.
Greg Gutfeld talking about how hanging out with liberals makes you conservative but hanging out with conservatives makes you libertarian? You betcha.
Right. Has he given up his knee-jerk support of the War in Iraq yet or did I miss something? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPHbCilSsxo. Or stopped calling women who have abortions morally inept. You libertarians sure do have some strange bedfellows.
You libertarians sure do have some strange bedfellows.
Unlike the bedfellows of socialism, amirite? Let's go break us some eggs, comrade!
Is this available online somewhere in its entirety? It's the distant future of the 21st century so I'm somewhat surprised that just clips seem to be available on the Fox site.