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Politics

Will Shitty Obamacare Ads Get Young People to Buy Insurance?

Nick Gillespie | 11.12.2013 1:29 PM

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…or just increase the number of victims of side-splitting hoolarity?

As part of something called the "Thanks Obamacare campaign," a bunch of folks at various grammatically challenged Colorado-based nonprofits have rolled out an ad campaign at doyougotinsurance.com. Check out all the ads at the site, or just peruse these three lowlights.

Here's one titled "Brosurance":

Question: Is there a copay for butt-chugging accidents? I'm just asking for a friend.

Then there's this one, which has already been dubbed Ho-surance by the wags on the Twitter:

More tips to save the $10 a month cost for oral contraceptives are online at Woman's Health.

Finally, we don't have to put away our machetes after clearing brush!

Go here to look at even more ads that will make you not only think twice about Obamacare but about the decision to let Colorado enter the union way back when. Among the gags are jokes about drinking (beer, shots), kid sports, Ryan Gosling (natch), kayaking, and so much more. About the only possible meme missing is a Richard Gere gerbil motif. But you gotta save something for the second round, right?

None of the ads explains why you should bother signing up for insurance before showing up at the hospital or the doctor's office by the way.

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NEXT: Why a Powerless Female Figurehead Might Still Cure Hamas' Misogyny: Shikha Dalmia in TIME

Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason and host of The Reason Interview With Nick Gillespie.

PoliticsNanny StateWar on DrugsScience & TechnologyCultureCivil LibertiesPolicyObamacareHealth Care
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  1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

    "Look at us, we no longer have to take responsibility for our own actions! Thanks ObamaCare!"

    But seriously. Answer to headline - No.

    1. Steve G   12 years ago

      yeah, they probably don'e even realize they are bolstering the argument against free health care with no incentives to be avoid it.

    2. Radioactive   12 years ago

      shitty ads get folks to do/buy things constantly...so yeah

  2. Almanian!   12 years ago

    Yeah, that skank-with-birth-control ad is....offputting.

    1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      You know they're going to do it in the butt anyway...

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        which is why she's going to need insurance to treat her butt gonorrhea

        1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

          Dude definitely looks proud of his butt gonorrhea.

      2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        What what?

        1. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

          Let's do it in butt, OK.

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      That dude wants her pre-teen sister, not her.

    3. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      "BIRTH CONTROL! It lets him blow his load directly inside of you!"

      Where's my royalty check?

      1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

        *mandated goggles are considered durable medical equipment and subject to a deductible.

      2. Sevo   12 years ago

        "Where's my royalty check?"
        You have to sign up through the web site to get it.
        Sorry.

      3. Juice   12 years ago

        I'm lolling uncontrollably right now.

      4. Loki   12 years ago

        I do kind of wonder what's going to happen to the STD rate now that Obama's made sure that women can get "free" pills so that they can go bareback. My guess is in a couple of years we'll be seeing all kinds of moral panics and scare stories about the "skyrocketing STD rates among young adults."

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          Have you seen the single parent statistics? Who isn't barebacking?

          1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

            A friend of mine was overheard saying
            "Moms are whores; you know they're not going to make you wear protection".

            This is from the same guy who has the vacation policy "No condoms no sunscreen".

            1. Episiarch   12 years ago

              Hey, that's my vacation policy!

            2. SugarFree   12 years ago

              "I was on vacation in Haiti... who needs to wear protection?"

              BAD IDEA JEANS

            3. Brett L   12 years ago

              Its... not untrue in my experience.

              1. Pelosi's Rabbit   12 years ago

                Not just moms, either.

      5. Brian   12 years ago

        Pure. Awesome.

    4. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

      Not into to heehaw donkey teeth huh?

    5. Rich Grise   12 years ago

      I thought it was to cover the cost of the screaming poop machine when her birth control fails.

      1. soflarider   12 years ago

        Maybe an Obamaphone upgrade is in order to give a daily reminder to take that birth control pill.

  3. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    Be honest: Lindy West had a hand in creating these ads, didn't she?

    1. SugarFree   12 years ago

      Not enough jam-smeared fingerprints and chocolate milk spills to be her handiwork.

      1. Almanian!   12 years ago

        nice

        1. SugarFree   12 years ago

          She's the one that had a whole post about hunting for and eating candy corn Oreos.

          At least they uncovered the M&M KKK Konspiracy in the comments.

          1. Loki   12 years ago

            candy corn Oreos.

            Wait, that's a real thing? I thought South Park made it up.

          2. Loki   12 years ago

            From the Jezebel comments:

            Also, friends: We're thinking about making this a regular series (Lindy West Vs. ???), so if you have any suggestions for future episodes, put them in the comments or send me an e-mail! And it doesn't have to be food, necessarily. I can review ANYTHING.9/12/12 6:01pm

            How about Lindy West Vs. a 9mm bullet fired from a Glock 19? I'd love to see that...

            1. SugarFree   12 years ago

              No way a 9mm is getting through that thick skull or ballistic shock blubber.

              1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

                By 9mm, he meant harpoon.

            2. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              Lindy West vs. The Persuasive Writing Correspondence Course
              Lindy West vs. The Copy Editor

              1. SugarFree   12 years ago

                Lindy West Vs. Spellcheck
                Lindy West Vs. Grammar
                Lindy West Vs. Humor

                1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

                  Lindy West Vs. Dr. Robert Atkins
                  Lindy West Vs. 2 hours of self-control in front of cake.

                  1. Boisfeuras   12 years ago

                    Lindy West Vs. 2 hours of self-control in front of cake.

                    I don't know if you know this about fat people... They fucking love cake."

  4. Brett L   12 years ago

    I'm getting page cannot be displayed at all the "doyougotinsurance.com" links.

    1. alan_s   12 years ago

      I'm sure you're probably better off for it.

    2. Andrew S.   12 years ago

      Like everything to do with Obamacare, the website sucks, but I was able to get through.

      There are more crappy ads on the site if you can ever load it.

    3. Doctor Whom   12 years ago

      There's no sugarcoating it: That Web site is slow.

    4. Loki   12 years ago

      So what you're saying is the government can't even get a website to work... where have I heard that one before?

    5. Biden's Scroteplugs   12 years ago

      try doyougotsinsurances.com

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        Careful. Democratcare doesn't cover RACIST!

    6. Chris Knox   12 years ago

      509
      Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
      The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

      Isn't that cute? Just like healthcare.gov!

  5. Jon Lester   12 years ago

    I get the feeling that the opportunity to make these ads is not one that just anyone can compete for. This has to be somewhere between cronyism and no-bid contracting.

    1. Sevo   12 years ago

      Jon Lester|11.12.13 @ 1:41PM|#
      "I get the feeling that the opportunity to make these ads is not one that just anyone can compete for. This has to be somewhere between cronyism and no-bid contracting."

      So they won't be the jewels in the agency's portfolio?
      I'm gonna agree; shitty client, ya know.

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        But they probably charged a few hundred million for each ad.

  6. bostonaod   12 years ago

    And it looks like the site is down.. lol

    1. Bobarian   12 years ago

      That's part of the meta-campaign to show you that the ACA site ain't so bad.

  7. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Douchebaggery at every level.

    1. Pelosi's Rabbit   12 years ago

      And fucktardery. Anyone who thinks Obama is an introvert is completely fucktarded and is not to be trusted around children or open flames.

      1. Pelosi's Rabbit   12 years ago

        Hey, wrong post!

        1. johnl   12 years ago

          It's always good.

  8. playa manhattan   12 years ago

    All the keg stand ad does is make me double check my beer budget for the year. It would have had the same effect on college age me, too.

    P.S. Most colleges (where I assume that keg stand is supposed to be taking place) already offer very heavily subsidized healthcare through their student health center. I paid something like $150 per semester at Berkeley for full coverage.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      FSU started requiring it in the mid-2000s so that financial aid would recover it.

      1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

        Require student health insurance? I think Berkeley did too, unless you could prove you were covered under another policy.

        1. Episiarch   12 years ago

          I'm pretty sure almost everywhere does that. If I recall correctly, I had to do so in the early 90s.

          1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

            Required or not, it was obviously a good idea. I did a lot of dumb shit in college.

            1. Episiarch   12 years ago

              Charlie: Since when do you pay to stay in a hospital?

              Doctor: Since always.

              Charlie: Uh, no, I believe that is what taxes are for.

              Mac: Yeah, you don't pay a fireman to put out a fire.

              Charlie: Or a cop to shoot a guy.

              Dennis: How do you not know how this works? You've been in a hospital before.

              Charlie: I?I guess I must have slipped through the cracks. I do always give a fake name 'cause I like to stay off the grid. You know what I mean?

              Mac: Yeah, they usually just give me a bunch of antibiotics, the sores go away, and I walk out.

              1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

                A good friend of mine had a bad habit of punching through windows when he was drunk. He went to USC, so he would just hitch a ride over to County to get stitched up if things went wrong.

                They had an address verification system, so he would just give a fake name and real addresses that he could remember off of the top of his head.
                15 years later, my parents still get medical bills for "Bartholomew J Simpson" at their house...

              2. font_of_stupidity   12 years ago

                +1 Mexican collagen

        2. Carolynp   12 years ago

          Both UT and Loma Linda did for me...a million years ago while the earth was cooling...

  9. JW   12 years ago

    "got insurance?"

    I did....

    1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      You didn't like it, though.

    2. Andrew S.   12 years ago

      It wasn't good enough. Didn't cover the possibility you'd become pregnant after being run over by a bus.

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        Was it the same bus that keeps getting other people pregnant when it hits them?

        1. DontShootMe   12 years ago

          Nah, it's the one Obama keeps tossing people under, it's so crowded under there, somebody is bound to become pregnant.

        2. Kid Xenocles   12 years ago

          That bus is a real player.

          1. Locke   12 years ago

            I keep seeing this reference and must have missed it. Can someone point me to the source?

  10. SugarFree   12 years ago

    Tom Scocca continues to be the dumbest person we don't make fun of often enough...

    And the comments, oh the comments...

    1. JW   12 years ago

      I couldn't finish it. My brain began to liquefy.

      The good news is brain liquefaction from reading abject morons is covered under ObamaCare!

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        Sadly, there are no providers who'll treat you with those plans.

        1. JW   12 years ago

          Some spray tire sealer oughta do the trick.

          1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

            So you don't plan to do much thinking with that ex-brain then?

            1. JW   12 years ago

              I am going to write for Gawker. Doesn't that count?

              1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

                Fix-A-Flat is probably overqualified for that job, so you'll be fine.

    2. Episiarch   12 years ago

      Jesus fucking Christ, it always devolves to "paying your fair share" with these idiots. Anything is justified because we're a collective.

      Sometimes I wonder if these people are so desperate to rope everyone into a forced collective because they're deathly afraid that if it were voluntary, no one would want them.

      1. JW   12 years ago

        they're deathly afraid that if it were voluntary, no one would want them.

        NOW, who's projecting?

        1. Episiarch   12 years ago

          (runs off sobbing)

      2. tarran   12 years ago

        Sometimes I wonder if these people are so desperate to rope everyone into a forced collective because they're deathly afraid that if it were voluntary, no one would want them.

        *I* don't wonder; I've heard several of them make comments to that effect over the years.

        1. Episiarch   12 years ago

          Really? Can you elaborate? I'd love to hear how they put it.

          1. tarran   12 years ago

            The one that leaps right to mind was a televised back and forth between a congresswoman and I think a Cato guy in some congressional hearing six or seven years ago. The subject had to do with medicare IIRC.

            The Congresswoman was basically all over the cato guy about charities shelling out money to provide "free care". She didn't believe his claims. So she asked him to quantify how much was provided, and he rattled off some huge dollar amounts.

            And she then said that's a drop in the bucket, to which the policy guy made some answer using stats to argue that most Medicare recipients were wealthy enough to afford the policies that a robust insurance market would provide. And he with numbers made an argument that Medicare was creating more strain on the charity industry (rather than taking up the slack).

            Now, I don't know if the wonk was right. My memory of what happened to this point is hazy. What happened next, however did really strike me. The Congresswoman's voice got very small, and she said something to the effect that "you are saying that people should just have faith that the market will meet their needs?" And the guy said "It's not faith, it's incentives; people will voluntarily want to provide this care" and the woman replied "some of us need more certainty that we will be cared for than depending on voluntary care" while shaking her head at his obvious foolishness.

            1. sarcasmic   12 years ago

              The Congresswoman's voice got very small, and she said something to the effect that "you are saying that people should just have faith that the market will meet their needs?"

              The classic central planner's response to "Let the market work" is "Well, who will centrally plan it?"

              Kind of like how religious people must frame atheism in terms of faith, unable to understand that atheism is a lack of faith.

              1. SugarFree   12 years ago

                ATHEIST CHURCHES! HURR DURR!

            2. R C Dean   12 years ago

              I don't know if the wonk was right.

              Sounds to me like he probably was.

              1. johnl   12 years ago

                Charity continues to be an important part of the system. Anyone who has an expensive condition knows this.

            3. R C Dean   12 years ago

              The Congresswoman's voice got very small, and she said something to the effect that "you are saying that people should just have faith that the market will meet their needs?"

              "Well, it seems to me like you are saying that people should just have faith that the State will meet their needs. How has that been working out?"

      3. sarcasmic   12 years ago

        Everyone knows that the rich don't pay their fair share. I mean, they're rich.

      4. Biden's Scroteplugs   12 years ago

        Their plans only work if I am fully on board, and I am never on board.

      5. cobright   12 years ago

        Because the alternative is to deny care.

        You choose to carry no insurance or a crappy policy with a $1 million lifetime cap. Okay, but you don't get to choose how sick you get. You can't just choose to not get cancer, so why should you get to choose not to cover your risk of getting cancer?

        Make you a deal, let the hospitals send people who can afford healthcare but choose not to get it home to die and I will support letting you choose not to carry insurance.

        1. Dirt McGirt   12 years ago

          Treat medical services like they were any other transaction, because they are? Deal!

    3. Tman   12 years ago

      Nutrasweet is braver than I, for there is nothing more depressing in terms of our future than reading the comments from the smug prog-hipsters at Gawker.

      I weep for the future.

    4. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      A Gawker comment, reproduced in its entirety:

      And you can blame the whiny, Koch-sucking clowns in congress for that, as they're the reason we don't have a single-payer plan that would give everyone the same coverage for the same amount.

      Yes, the Democratic caucus is well-known for being in the employ of the Kochtopus.

      Thank God these people will never reproduce... right?

      1. Andrew S.   12 years ago

        Of course they won't reproduce. Not with all the free Obama-provided birth control they won't!

      2. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

        Thank God these people will never reproduce... right?

        It's for this exact reason that I love seeing hipsters riding around on bicycles. Testicular cancer will save us all!

    5. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

      The first comment I read was this one:

      What kind of car do you drive Tom? A Ford Focus? Well that's not a real car. From here on out I'm forcing you to get rid of it and buy a Bentley.

      What kind of computer do you use Tom? An iMac? Well an iMac isn't a real computer. From now on I'm forcing you to use an Alienware computer with 32 GBs of RAM.

      Where do you shop for food Tom? Whole Foods? Well Whole Foods isn't a real grocery store. From here on out I'm forcing you to only shop at Dean and Delucia.

      I can't believe this is what ACA supporters have devolved into. "That thing that you chose to buy and were happy with wasn't a real product and you're an idiot, so we're helping you by making you pay more for something you don't want."

      I paid for catastrophic insurance b/c I used little to no health care and wanted a safety net in case of disaster. THAT'S THE POINT OF INSURANCE YOU IDIOT!!! If insurance was meant to cover everybody for everything then it would cease to be insurance you smug Williamsburg fuckbag.

      You're smug, elitist pricks. End of story.

      I am happy again.

      1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

        The replies to that comment, OTOH, have been proven to cause testicular cancer in lab rats.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

          I think my balls are filled with cancer now too:

          Here's the right analogy. The insurance company sold you a cardboard box painted to look like a real car and parked it in your driveway. You only had to pay $10 a month for it, but once you go to use it, you find out it doesn't work. It doesn't cover anything. (No engine, no transmission, etc.). Now you find out that you have to pay slightly more for a real car.

          Every single person that Fox news has trotted out as an example like this woman has been debunked. Most can actually get real coverage cheaper than the "junk" plan that covered nothing and had massive deductibles. none of them had actually researched their options beyond quoting that their existing insurance company wanted to charge them for a better plan.

          1. Kid Xenocles   12 years ago

            Better better analogy: Instead of buying an maintaining a car, you bought some open-ended plane tickets. You don't travel that much, but when you do you go far away, so this is a pretty good deal. But everyone knows that cars are more flexible and independent, so the law makes you buy one. Also, think of the jobs - you have to pay your fair share in keeping the recovery going.

          2. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

            I'm guessing every word in the last paragraph is a lie?

            1. Ted S.   12 years ago

              Including "and" and "the".

          3. Episiarch   12 years ago

            What's amazing about this comment and so many like it is this mouth-breather's absolute certainty regarding someone else's life, insurance, desires, and even intelligence. The mouth-breather somehow knows exactly what your plan had in it. They know that you were too stupid to know what was in your plan. They know that you can get better coverage for less than you were paying, again implying that you were too stupid to find it. And they know that you never researched any options for your plan. Because they know it.

            I think, once again, we have inadvertent projection by these people. They're projecting their own stupidity, laziness, and lack of planning on everyone else.

            1. Brett L   12 years ago

              I have savings, and have done more and more complex math than any seven English majors. I have managed the technical architectures of intricate systems worth millions of dollars. Fuck all of these assholes for telling me I can't read a health insurance spec sheet. Also, for 5 years, my insurance functioned exactly the way they told me it would. I have no reason to doubt that the catastrophic side would have been different.

              1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

                Most Gawker commenters are 20-something morons who are either still going to college or just got into the workforce. For those of you who don't remember what enormous pricks you were at 21, ask your parents or anyone who was within hearing distance. If you weren't an annoying, smug asshole who knew everything, most of your friends probably still were.

                My guess is that most of the people commenting will figure out how full of shit they are as they mature. In the meantime, memorializing ignorance on the internet does not look pretty.

                1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

                  I'm not as optimistic. I'm in my early 30s and most of my friends are still like that.

              2. wwhorton   12 years ago

                I have savings, and have done more and more complex math than any seven English majors. I have managed the technical architectures of intricate systems worth millions of dollars. Fuck all of these assholes for telling me I can't read a health insurance spec sheet. Also, for 5 years, my insurance functioned exactly the way they told me it would. I have no reason to doubt that the catastrophic side would have been different.

                I dropped out of college to work as a web developer, because math is hard and my idea of long-term planning is buying two cases of beer at once. I have the impulse control of a ferret. I will probably be paying off credit card debt until a Libertarian becomes POTUS.

                And yet, I still don't feel like it's your responsibility to make sure I can pay for a cast if I break my leg doing something stupid. Also, thanks to literacy, I can read contracts and other documents to determine which policy provides the most value to me at the price point I can afford. I've managed to do all of this without a massive government bureaucracy commandeering premiums from the rest of America.

                1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

                  WRECKER!!!!1!

                2. cobright   12 years ago

                  Yes wwhorton, but there is no way to enforce a noise ordinance on you while we let that broken leg kill you over the course of several weeks. The value of that cast is not enjoyed entirely by you and as a society we have determined that your continued productivity is worth more than whatever part of that cast we might have to chip in for.

                  It's like the subway in NYC, even someone who never rides the subway get's value from it being there.

            2. Kid Xenocles   12 years ago

              You see, the problem is that the insurance companies have been lying to us and ripping us off the whole time. Naturally the solution is to force everyone to buy the insurance companies' products.

              1. Brett L   12 years ago

                Either Obama got completely rolled by the insurance companies or his team failed to fix any of the actual problems.

          4. Sevo   12 years ago

            "Most can actually get real coverage cheaper than the "junk" plan that covered nothing and had massive deductibles."

            Do these bozos not propose to work longer hours for less pay?
            Disregarding the frictional costs of gov't meddling, do they somehow think that adding coverage lowers costs?
            'Gee, Mr. Groceryman, I'd like that steak, but if you toss in the lobster it'll be cheaper, right?'

            1. Sevo   12 years ago

              Do these bozos *NOW* propose to work longer hours for less pay?

      2. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

        Oh nevermind, I see now it was only first because all of the "gawkers" responded to it with more ridiculous bullshit.

    6. Sevo   12 years ago

      And O'care is SOOOOOOOOOOO popular, why 3% of the expected victims have signed up on the state exchanges where it is possible to do so!
      "State Obamacare exchanges enroll 3 pct of target so far -report"
      http://www.reuters.com/article.....XX20131111

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Kentucky has had 41000 people enroll, 33000 of which were already Medicaid eligible. I can't imagine this is going to help the state's budget.

        1. SugarFree   12 years ago

          Oh, no. Lexington might not get its fifth unused Cultural Center!

        2. Sevo   12 years ago

          So KY got all of 8,000 insurance 'sign-ups'?
          Wow! I'll bet the actuaries at the insurance cos are working overtime now, trying all sorts of payment schedules to somehow get premiums to match payments.

  11. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

    "He ended up carving himself because black people are like children."

    1. waffles   12 years ago

      That forced a very inappropriate laugh out of me. Thanks man.

    2. johnl   12 years ago

      Wow the black kid with the machete is an image I would just not use. Couldn't they get a white kid with an axe? Or Japanese kid with a sword? Those guys must not want to get invited to any cocktail parties.

  12. John   12 years ago

    This post should be linked to the one about Postrel and glamor. No, these ads won't get young people to buy shitty insurance. But they will, by associating liberalism with a shitty and undesirable and decidedly unglamorous product, make liberalism a hell of a lot less glamorous.

    1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

      But Liberals are more artistic and creative! That's why they're culturally dominant.

    2. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      It's kind of ironic that the only thing that the whole Hope'n'Change? movement has produced is a crappy, expensive, and inherently unglamorous insurance scheme.

  13. Episiarch   12 years ago

    Obamacare's train wreck is spreading into all kinds of unexpected areas. Here we're getting retardedly stupid ads from Kool-Ade drinkers providing us with unintentional comedy, and they're looking desperate at the same time!

    Obamacare may be the gift that keeps on giving. Just not in the way that they intended.

    1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      So true. I expected it to be climatically bad in relevant areas, but now it's expanding to awfulness markets in other areas, as well. Perhaps the next Adam Sandler or Michael Bay movie will somehow be the result of ObamaCare, as well. At this point, I would believe just about anything.

      1. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

        At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it caused the creation of Deuce Bigalow 3.

        1. JW   12 years ago

          Easy now, don't get ahead of yourself.

          They still owe us a The Adventures of Ford Fairlane 2.

          1. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

            Freddy Got Fisted

    2. JW   12 years ago

      You told me that you gave me gonorrhea. What's this Obamacare? Is it anything like chlamydia?

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        No, it's a chronic ailment that costs a lot more.

      2. Episiarch   12 years ago

        Sort of...

    3. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      These ads paint a very clear picture of exactly how these people view their constituency.

      1. Episiarch   12 years ago

        As too stupid to manage any part of their lives for themselves?

        1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

          That's a nice way of putting it. I would have said "as fucking retards".

        2. wareagle   12 years ago

          and you have answered your earlier question about the forced collective. The hive has to paint those outside it as too stupid to make their own decisions; it cannot hope to gain converts through persuasion.

      2. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

        ^THIS.

    4. Juice   12 years ago

      I also love how smug all the supporters were a couple of years ago. "Just wait until this thing actually rolls out. People will love it and there will be a permanent Democratic Party majority!"

  14. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

    I'm surprised that nobody is commenting on the kid making the villainous child face. Losing a hand might improve him as a person considerably.

    1. SugarFree   12 years ago

      That pumpkin killed his father.

      1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

        White-Hispanic pumpkin?

        1. SugarFree   12 years ago

          Actually "pumpkin" is AAVE for a rotund women who is willing to let you put a candle in her and light it.

    2. entropy   12 years ago

      Why is the african child carving a pumpkin with a machete?

      That shit is racist.

      1. Bobarian   12 years ago

        Obviously, they're implying that Black kids don't got no daddies round to keep them from cutting their hands off, so OBAMACARE to de rescue!

        Extra-crispy racism, there!

        1. Skip   12 years ago

          Why isn't MSDNC bleating on and on and on and on about "dog whistles"?

    3. Doctor Whom   12 years ago

      You're right. He looks like a kid in Chick tracts, pre-salvation. On the next page, he asks, "Who's Jesus?"

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        My little brother used to make that face and unfortunately my parents didn't beat him every time he did. He's grown into the most useless "adult" one could hope for.

        1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

          The same brother you were paid to assist with his phone troubles?

          Enabler.

          1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

            That would be the one. I got back more than I spent in parental reimbursements. I like to think of myself as a terrible parenting profiteer.

    4. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      You don't need health insurance for a knife would to the hand. The ER is required to treat you.

      1. Kid Xenocles   12 years ago

        You need health insurance to cover the tax on the prosthetic hand your dad makes for you from a 3D printer.

        1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

          I thought 3D printers could only be used to print guns.

          1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

            They also print more 3D printers to aid proliferation.

            1. wwhorton   12 years ago

              Isn't that like putting a portable hole into a bag of holding?

          2. Michael Price   12 years ago

            No they SHOULD only be used to print guns.

  15. entropy   12 years ago

    Keg stands are crazy?

    Dude you're doing it wrong. WTF are you doing handstands on the keg for?!? This ain't fucking gymnastics class!

    1. entropy   12 years ago

      OMG look I'm standing on top the keg I'm such a cool badass I could fall off it. Keg stand guys, get it? Why don't I have any friends? Stop throwing tomatoes at me.

    2. Slammer   12 years ago

      Where's his HELMET?!!?

    3. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      "Not having health insurance is crazier"

      Alrighty then, lets get fuckin' crazy!

    4. wwhorton   12 years ago

      No, keg stands are stupid. Painting a face on the keg and talking to it all night would be crazy.

      1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

        MOLSOOOOOOON!

  16. Slammer   12 years ago

    Needs moar womensz health/abortionsz

    1. Andrew S.   12 years ago

      Did you know that by not making birth control completely free, you're literally raping every woman in existence?

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        do I get to choose the woman, or is it a random sort of thing?

      2. wwhorton   12 years ago

        At once, or sequentially?

  17. ChrisN   12 years ago

    Keep in mind that there are also many zombie locusts from California in Colorado. They feed on tax revenue and leave behind the tell-tale bike-paths, non-profits, and a familiar odor of activism.

    1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

      The Zerg.

  18. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

    got insurance?

    Pack It For The Jacket

    Ladies, make sure you get your free birth control pills and condoms, because the Jacket is coming for you in more ways than one.

    1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      Just the ladies? I feel so othered.

      1. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

        got insurance?

        Don't be a Pauper, be Proper Whopper of a Popper Shopper

        Get ready for a night of sugary drinks, tight-fitting clothing, and hot gay sex by getting some poppers, now free as preventative care under the ACA!

  19. The Other Kevin   12 years ago

    The quality of these is right up there with facebook e-cards and that picture of a kid standing in front of a burning house. Any minute now someone is going to fuse them all together somehow.

  20. JW   12 years ago

    "Lets hope he's as easy to get as this birth control!"

    Well, he knows that you are, which is all that really matters.

    Men will fuck mud, if given half a chance, so don't flatter yourself.

    1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      "I take these pills all at once before we fuck, right?"

      1. db   12 years ago

        "No, just the white ones."

  21. Bobarian   12 years ago

    "OMG, he's hot! I hope he's as easy to get as this birth control."

    STEVE SMITH WOULD NOT FUCK THAT WITH WARTY'S DICK!

    1. SugarFree   12 years ago

      Everyone knows Warty's dick is security coded. If someone else tried to use it, it would shred the meat right off their pelvis.

      1. db   12 years ago

        Technically, Warty's dick is mostly a braided rope of flesh stripped from others' pelvises, so, yeah.

        1. SugarFree   12 years ago

          That is merely what he keeps his penis in, you timelocked fool. Futurecock technology is beyond the grasp of your primitive mind.

      2. The Last American Hero   12 years ago

        That's not to keep people out. It's to keep something in.

  22. RightNut   12 years ago

    These remind me of the work I used to do for ad design in high school. Hopefully no one got paid for this stuff.

    1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      I assume that somebody affiliated with the Obama Victory Fund 2012 got their company paid a lot of money for this.

  23. Killazontherun   12 years ago

    OT: Most propaganderrific article you'll see this week:

    Typhoon Haiyan: gun culture of the Philippines hinders relief efforts

    A combination of unlucky geography, poverty, poor government and widespread gun use have exacerbated the effects of Typhoon Haiyan

    No mention of the local political conflict involving a rebellion in the poorer and more Islamic areas affected here in the examples given. Just the notion of Filipino rednecks holding things up to make trouble.

    1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

      Link:
      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/new.....forts.html

    2. Warty   12 years ago

      It is said that three centuries of Spanish machismo were followed by 50 years of American preaching on the right to bear arms, making for a volatile mixture.

      What, Limeys think we send out gun missionaries?

      1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

        So, the Republicans heated up the earth and caused this storm, then they turned the Filipinos into gun nuts who obstructed relief efforts? I thought these Reps were only destroying America, but they're destroying the earth, too!

      2. font_of_stupidity   12 years ago

        "It is said"; nice weasel language.

      3. Brett L   12 years ago

        What? We had to invent the 1911 for the Moros. They've been badasses since we got there.

        1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

          1911, a design so spiffy, I don't think it will look antiquated a thousand years from now.

        2. Michael Price   12 years ago

          Yeah and that was when they just had machetes.

      4. PD Scott   12 years ago

        Weird, no mention of the Japanese Army's confiscation of every firearm they could get their hands on. I'm sure that had nothing to do with the current Filipino desire to be armed.

        1. Thane is a cosmotarian!   12 years ago

          The Bataan Death March is a right-wing phony scandal!

      5. GILMORE   12 years ago

        In related news, the corrosive, provincial gun-culture of the New World colonists is proving an unforeseen hindrance to the implementation of Best-Practice Imperial Tax Policies
        - Guardian.UK, circa 1776

      6. Michael Price   12 years ago

        The occupying US forces did NOT encourage the locals to bear arms. Even military intelligence has enough smarts to figure out that torturing someone and encouraging them to carry around lethal weapons is a bad combination.

  24. Andrew S.   12 years ago

    Has anyone explained why that poor kid's parents are allowing him to carve a pumpkin with a machete? I'm pretty sure that's neglect of some kind.

    1. JW   12 years ago

      I did almost cut off my left index finger with a hatchet, when I was 8 or 9. My uncles had been trimming the lower branches off the Christmas tree and left it on the porch, where I found it with the branches. And what use is a hatchet unless it's cutting some wood?

      That was a fun Christmas.

      1. SugarFree   12 years ago

        Egads. What a disaster that would have been. That's the finger you butt in your butt while jacking off! Close call.

        1. JW   12 years ago

          Blabbermouth!

          I have to stop drunk sexting you.

          1. SugarFree   12 years ago

            DRUNK-LIKE TYPING DETECTED
            LOCKING TEXT FUNCTION FOR 6 HOURS
            SIRI THINKS YOU SHOULD SLEEP IT OFF, ASSHOLE

            1. Michael Price   12 years ago

              That will be a feature one day, just you wait.

        2. Killazontherun   12 years ago

          He could always tape a pencil with the eraser outward to his desk if his hand isn't properly equipped.

        3. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

          What if he's left handed? Why are you othering the sinister among us?

          1. SugarFree   12 years ago

            He is left-handed. That's the important hand to him.

            1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              This is different than how I think he should pleasure himself and therefore unfathomably disgusting. I think we need a federal law to cover this.

              1. SugarFree   12 years ago

                "Why does JW keep listening to 'Stinkfist' over and over again?"

                1. db   12 years ago

                  Obamacare: This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to.

            2. playa manhattan   12 years ago

              The "Howdy Stranger" hand?

            3. Loki   12 years ago

              So it's the finger in the ass that gets him to climax, not the one grabbing his dick? Or does JW even bother grabbing his dick during masturbation? So many unanswered questions...

              1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

                It's more of a David Carradine thing

                1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

                  You have to admire the professionalism of the hookers who just slipped out of the room and never said a word about it afterwards.

                2. Bobarian   12 years ago

                  Only he dresses a lot more strangely when he's hanging in the closet.

      2. Slammer   12 years ago

        +1 Jerry Garcia

  25. Killazontherun   12 years ago

    This in an article supposedly written by a professional reporter:

    Analysts tend to blame the colonial history of the Philippines for becoming a gun-happy independent nation. It is said that three centuries of Spanish machismo were followed by 50 years of American preaching on the right to bear arms, making for a volatile mixture.

    Whatever the causes of the pervasive gun culture and high murder rate, the reports of armed looting that emerged two or three days after Haiyan struck surprised no one. Even if some reports were exaggerated, the Philippines' reputation for poor law and order preceded it.

    Those highly volatile Spaniards and those ignorant, gun toting American rednecks, what are you going to do? Being under the rule of both for so long, absorbing those disfunctional cultures into their own, those poor Filipinos, what chance do they possibly have?

    1. Andrew S.   12 years ago

      It's amazing how racist so many people on the left seem to be. To them, indigenous peoples, along with East Asians and Africans, are just too dumb to think for themselves, and they've been manipulated by the evil (and smarter) white people.

      Similar to the way they feel about women.

      1. Episiarch   12 years ago

        Why do you think the first words out of their mouths is to call opponents racists? Projection. They know, deep down, that they are racist (we know they're collectivist, so how can they not be racist?). Therefore, they assume everyone else is too.

      2. Killazontherun   12 years ago

        I have to admit I tend to assume that the reporter is a typical, Hoplophobic priss pot of an Englishman, but, supposedly, he is a professional writer who has to apply standards to his product.

        Another thing worth pointing out:

        There are 3.9 million guns - legal and illegal - held by civilians in the Philippines, or about 4.7 per 100 people, which isn't that high in global terms. But people are prepared to use them. The murder rate is among the highest in Asia and three times that of the United States, at 8.9 homicides per 100,000.

        I'm pretty sure if you go back to Tucille's article from last Spring on Scotland Yard's estimation of secret caches of hidden privately held guns, came at a per population figure that would get you higher for Brit ownership than the Filipino stat above. Guns were common even in London before the bans came into effect in the 50's. I don't recall the response of the people to the Blitz as anything but a model of orderly behavior.

        1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

          Also worth noting is that this article was published in the "conservative" Telegraph. What the hell happened to you, England?

          1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

            Yeah, I kind of want to help put the country out of its misery out of respect for what they once were. The Olympics last year with the bizarre DHS dance is what set me over the edge, if anyone asks.

            1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

              Conquering and retaining them as a penal colony would do them some good, methinks. It wouldn't be worth it and we shouldn't do it, but sometimes my charitable side makes me think that we should simply as an act of kindness.

    2. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

      Those highly volatile Spaniards and those ignorant, gun toting American rednecks

      They really should blame violent blacks, lazy Mexicans, and greedy Jews if they want to hit all the bases.

    3. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      Damn those American and Spaniard institutions for propagating Islamic separatist movements!

      1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

        I blame Ferdinand and Isabella.

    4. GILMORE   12 years ago

      ""Analysts tend to blame ""

      read:

      Analyst(s) = "Some a) un-named people with b) unmentioned credentials in c) a vaguely-alluded-to plurality if not stated majority..."

      basically, "Some dudes say..."

    5. Seamus   12 years ago

      I'd be very surprised if the Americans spent 50 years extolling the right to keep and bear arms to the Filipinos. Because of the holding in the Insular Cases that the Bill of Rights didn't automatically extend to American possessions acquired in the Spanish-American War, it was up to the U.S. to decide how much of the Bill of Rights would apply in the Philippines, and we had no particular inclination to recognize as a "right" the rearmament of the people we had just finished conquering in the Philippine Insurrection (or as it's known in the Philippines, the War for Independence or the Philippine-American War). In fact, in 1911, the U.S. dealt with the Moro Rebellion by ordering the disarmament of the entire population of Moro Province. None of the organic acts which Congress passed for the Philippines (the Philippine Organic Act of 1902, the Philippine Autonomy Act of 1916, and the Philippine Independence Act of 1934) protected the right to keep and bear arms, nor did the constitution adopted by the Filipinos themselves in 1935.

      1. Winston   12 years ago

        Quite Seamus, how dare you bring in facts to refute an attack on TEH GUN KULTUR!

      2. GILMORE   12 years ago

        "I'd be very surprised if the Americans spent 50 years extolling the right to keep and bear arms to the Filipinos"

        More likely it was the double-crossing we gave them after we kicked the Spanish out that convinced them that the best way to deal with the Yanquis Americanos was to arm-up themselves and shoot back. Filipinos have a certain affinity with Americans despite having fought with us once mainly because they also see themselves as a 'self liberated' country.

        Funny how that works. People who had to once throw off oppressive regimes = tend to like owning guns? Weird, I know.

    6. Michael Price   12 years ago

      " Even if some reports were exaggerated,"
      So basically he's openly admitting that the reports might not actually be completely true, which means he hasn't checked at all, which means they might be completely false.

      It's New Orleans all over again.

  26. Loki   12 years ago

    *facepalm* I really need to get the hell out of this state. The derp is starting to really get out of hand. Holy hell...

  27. db   12 years ago

    Come on...seriously? Can that possibly be a legit O'Care supporter site?

  28. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    Even if some reports were exaggerated, the Philippines' reputation for poor law and order preceded it.

    "Go on admit it. All those tales of child rape, murder, and cannibalism coming out of post-Katrina New Orleans *could* be true!"

  29. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    Analysts tend to blame the colonial history of the Philippines for becoming a gun-happy independent nation.

    "Armed" insurrections are generally more successful than the unarmed kind.

    1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

      Clearly the Philippines would have been better off under Japanese occupation where the indigenous people were disarmed for their own safety.

      They even gave them all jobs. Isn't it amazing what a proactive government can do?

      1. The Last American Hero   12 years ago

        And exercise via long walks.

  30. Paul.   12 years ago

    If NPR says "Young Invincibles" one more time, I'll eat a bug!

    1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

      Everything you guys report back about NPR makes me so glad that I don't listen to them. I can remember the last time I did, it was a really long time ago. Beck was promoting his follow up album to Mellow Gold.

      1. Paul.   12 years ago

        When they just do straight news, they're pretty good. It's when they start doing perspective news that it goes sideways.

        1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

          I can get the straight dope almost anywhere. Rather read it, and leave my audial sensations to more pleasant things.

        2. Zeb   12 years ago

          I listen to a lot of NPR too and I agree with your assessment. For just plain news, there isn't much that's better on TV or radio. But their point of view stories are reliably pretty lefty/progressive.

    2. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      Young Invincibles? is an official HHS marketing campaign.

      http://health.younginvincibles.org/video-contest/

      NPR stands for National Propaganda Radio.

      Of course they going to tout the HHS marketing campaign.

  31. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

    Does the name Tony Trenkle ring a bell? No? He's the HHS CIO who resigned a few days ago. There wasn't much hype about the resignation. Why wouldn't Obama trumpet this great asskicking?

    Maybe it's because Trenkle would not sign off on the initial site launch due to data security concerns.

    Great. Five weeks, hours spent to enter my information, 98 attempts to get information, and now I learn that the project executive resigned because he would not sign off on the system's data security. Oh, and I've not been able to get any more information from Healthcare.gov than I could get from a website designed and implemented over a weekend by two guys in a dorm room.

    Thanks, ObamaCare.

    1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      According to HHS documents provided to the House, cited in the video report here, "the threat and risk potential is limitless".

      1. Episiarch   12 years ago

        It just keeps getting better. This needs to be such an epic clusterfuck that Congress can't help but impeach Obama.

        1. Paul.   12 years ago

          Like Benghazi, it's a fake scandal.

          /shrike

        2. db   12 years ago

          That wouod be awesome, but there are so many other more important reasons to.impeach. plus they'll fuck.it up anyway and he'll emerge looking like a victim.

          1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

            And, even if successful, Biden would be president.

            1. font_of_stupidity   12 years ago

              Look, I love the concept of impeachment. In a perfect world, we would impeach way more than we do.

              But the optics of impeaching Obama will strengthen the left like never before, since impeachment will be portrayed in the media as Racist Political Theater and/or a Waste of Time and Taxpayer Money. Joe Meatball and Sally Housecoat have come to believe that impeachment is just another political tool of party hacks.

          2. Paul.   12 years ago

            y and he'll emerge looking like a victim.

            This cannot be understated.

            As much as it has become increasingly difficult for the press to run cover for the administration and confront its missteps, an impeachment at this point would galvanize them into re-circling the wagons.

            Don't ever mistake some occasional hand-wringing by the MSM as a sign they're ready to abandon the cause. That's nothing more than a trap.

        3. John   12 years ago

          It just gets better every day. Even I would have never thought that Obama is so stupid he would go ahead with a website after his own CIO refused to sign off on it because the security was so poor.

          I get it that he is a narcissist and won't admit he is wrong. But even the worst narcissist will back off at some point if out of some feral survival instinct if nothing else. I can't fathom how someone could be so stupid and out of touch with reality they wouldn't back off after it was apparent it was going to end in total disaster. The country doesn't deserve Obama. But God the Democrats sure as hell do. Obama's entire second term is going to be one big example of how sometimes justice is served.

          1. db   12 years ago

            It really is getting good. It seems that throughout the implementation, but especially near the deadline, the system itself was giving him all the excuses he would have needed to delay it and to avoid this disastrous embarrassment and exposure of incompetence. But he soldiered on and got up out of the trench anyway.

            1. db   12 years ago

              I mean to say that this.is basically the Administration's equivalent of a WWI bayonet charge in the face of withering machinegun fire. And the footsoldiers are going to be slaughtered in the next election.

            2. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

              It is a genius symphony, composed of the finest strands of progressive arrogance and butthurt. The President, his supporters, and progressives at large sold out on the dream of single-payer and are stuck defending this dog. Oh, and they're not doing a very good job of it:

              Although I generally try to take the high road, I'll enjoy my flirtation with hell if it means I get to say to you that all those who don't want to buy health insurance to cover everything can just kill themselves now, because living is an option that anyone can always opt out of. Please proceed.

              As much as this is difficult to believe since you sound more like a talking bloody stool sample than a person, but we do basically know how much insurance you'll need because you're a human being, you stupid, boorish fuckwad.

              You don't know how much insurance you need. No one does. You just want to not pay for insurance while you are young and healthy and then start paying when you're older and do need it.

              The unbounded joy that ObamaCare is bringing is really something to behold!

              1. Paul.   12 years ago

                The enemy never sleeps. Single payer will be the response.

                1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

                  Every Democratic President since FDR has tried to implement a single payer/public option. All have failed. They failed even with a 60-vote majority in the Senate.

                  They will try to keep living the dream, sure -- but there won't be any takers.

                  Just listen to the intense bitterness in the responses I excerpted. Does that sound like the editorial voice of someone whose plan is going off without a hitch?

                  Because it sounds to me like the voice of Iraq war supporters circa 2006.

                2. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

                  assuming single payer is shorthand for a Medicare for All, its really shortsighted.

                  who knows the most about Medicare policy? Lobbyists like me. So if they want to make me more powerful than they could possibly imagine, bring on single payer.

              2. John   12 years ago

                I think I figured out one of the things that made this thing so awful. If you remember, the original bill had a public option. A lot is being made about how some of the Obama people are admitting now the plan was to destroy the individual insurance market. Everyone is taking that to mean they wanted to cause all of this harm. No, remember they also wanted to public option.

                The plan seems to have been destroy the individual market and get those people on the public option. Then let everyone else see how great it was and use that as a way to go forward to make it bigger and bigger until we were all on the public option, ie single payer.

                The problem was the public option couldn't get through Congress. So the bill that passed killed the individual insurance market without providing any alternative. Now rather than say, "if we can't have the public option, we are better off not doing it at all", these idiots believed their own bullshit and thought the country would be so grateful to them for passing "comprehensive health reform" that they would gain seats in the 10 midterms and they could go back afterwards and add the public option in.

                Of course they got killed in the 2010 midterms. So the public option never got put back in and they were left sitting on a ticking time bomb, too bull headed to admit they were wrong yet unable to fix it.

                1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

                  Yesterday in the Evening Links I posted an editorial by some prog dimwit, written right after ObamaCare passed. It was titled "The Worst Is Over", and said exactly what you wrote here: we'd get the public option after the midterms, glory hallelujah, and after that it's Permanent Democratic Majority, baby!

                  What libertarians don't realize is that progs, savvy though they may be in the art of politicking, don't know squat about policy and know very little about what drives Americans. It constantly surprises and frustrates them when Americans consistently reject things like single-payer or have a tax revolt, since that kind of stuff doesn't happen either where they live or in their fantasy version of Europe (the only two places of importance to a progressive). They perform American politics the same way a deaf person learns how to speak. Since they're idiot savants wrt politics, this works OK for them in normal times, but these aren't normal times -- so we get to see how bizarre the prog universe is compared to ours.

                  They really didn't have a plan beyond, "once the rubes get their hands on this, they'll love it".

                  1. John   12 years ago

                    TIT,

                    They actually think that fucking this thing up is going to help them next year such that the solution will be the public option? That is a novel way to look at it to say the least.

                    1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

                      Right now the predominant meme going around is that single-payer would have avoided this mess -- not that anyone saying that has any credibility, since the progs all had their fun ragging on FireDogLake and Jane Hamsher for not Getting With the Program and supporting ObamaCare. At any rate, it's obvious to all but the dimmest that even if they survive this debacle, Dems aren't going to be trusted with anything healthcare-related in a long time... hence the bitterness.

                    2. John   12 years ago

                      The other great thing about this Trouser is that the Progs at Fire Dog Lake are admitting Obama is a failure. A lot of real dead ender Obamabots are not going to like that. As I figure it the Dems will split into three camps over this.

                      1. The progs like those at FDL who will admit it is a disaster and say that means we need single payer.

                      2. The Obama dead enders who have too much invested in Obama to admit this parrot is not just resting its eyes.

                      3. The Dem politicians who out of survival instinct reach out to Republicans and try to fix this thing.

                      All three camps will consider the other two traitors to the cause. It is going to be spectacular.

                    3. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

                      Progressive tears... just in time for Christmas.

                    4. Killazontherun   12 years ago

                      Like the Celebration Ale that is waiting for me in a half hour at my local grocery store. I called, they got it in today.

                    5. db   12 years ago

                      Thanks for the heads up, I'm going to have to stop by the beer place on the way home. Hopefully they'll have some.

                    6. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

                      #3. I'm sure that, for a political price, the McCain/Graham/McConnell wing would love to reach back, and help the Dems in the Senate, and the Boehner bunch in the House. That's how the GOP could be the stupid party, and make things even worse.

                      Just think, though ... the Tea Party Republicans were demanding a course of action just weeks ago that would have saved Team Obama all this anguish, and Team Obama was ready to shut down the entire government and default on its sovereign debt to maintain its course into the iceberg.

                    7. R C Dean   12 years ago

                      Right now the predominant meme going around is that single-payer would have avoided this mess

                      Because an administration that didn't get within spitting distance of being able to implement a working website could easily take over the entire health care finance complex.

                      Its like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum because they can't even ride a tricycle, but Dad won't let them drive the Harley.

                  2. Sevo   12 years ago

                    ..."savvy though they may be in the art of politicking, don't know squat about policy and know very little about what drives Americans."...

                    Dunno about that. 'Free Shit" and self-delusion seems to move the voters pretty well. Did you see the thread on minimum wages?

                    1. John   12 years ago

                      Sure but free shit only works if someone else is paying for it. And with Obamacare, they appear to have finally run out of other people's money.

                      The problem with relying on free shit is that there is never enough free shit to go around and the free shit brigade is never satisfied. It will work for a while. But it won't work forever.

                    2. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

                      Free shit isn't what progs are about; managed societies are. Free shit is incidental to the program and tends to be what is left over after all the really appalling parts of the prog program are taken out. Read up on the New Deal sometime. There was some serious no-shit fascist stuff in there before the New Deal was pared down by WWII and the following administrations. Outside of its use in placating constituencies, free shit en masse is almost always an accidental byproduct of progressive schemes.

                      Seriously, what are the hottest prog agenda items right now? Higher taxes, statist healthcare, and gun control. All of that flies in the face of what Americans want, and none of it is free shit. Is Europe the land of free shit? Not really, the Euros get the ever-loving hell taxed out of them in return for peanuts.

                      Free shit is the only politically tractable part of the prog agenda, and they don't generally understand this all that well.

                    3. Paul.   12 years ago

                      Dunno about that. 'Free Shit" and self-delusion seems to move the voters pretty well. Did you see the thread on minimum wages?

                      this country is firmly ensconced in the frame of Free Shit.

                      We've pretty much just passed a $15 minimum wage here.

                      http://www.thenewstribune.com/.....a-tac.html

                    4. Paul.   12 years ago

                      Further, a woman who publicly stated she believed Amazon.com should be Nationalized is within wisp of winning a Seattle City Council seat.

          2. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

            The utter incompetence of Team ObamaCare in every dimension of project management really does surprise me. I expected a rough rollout, but nothing like this, nothing even close. I really expected that the MSM would be propagandizing about the wonders of ObamaCare by now, but even the MSM can't sugarcoat this turd.

            I'm now persuaded, John. ObamaCare is unlikely to fail forward to single-payer. I think that was the intention, but who is stupid to entrust the Democrats with 18% of the nation's economy after this abject and immediate failure? (But, don't forget that the GOP isn't called the stupid party for nothing.)

            1. John   12 years ago

              See above CATO. I think the plan was to fall forward into single payer via forcing more and more people onto the public option insurance, except the public option couldn't get through Congress. So, their own plan, as passed by Congress, could never work as intended. But they were so set on getting "something", that they passed it anyway figuring they could fix it later after they won big thanks to passing it. Hasn't worked out that way.

              1. Paul.   12 years ago

                See above CATO. I think the plan was to fall forward into single payer via forcing more and more people onto the public option insurance, except the public option couldn't get through Congress.

                It was absolutely the plan, and publicly stated by people like Max Baucus-- who "regrets taking single payer off the table".

            2. Paul.   12 years ago

              I really expected that the MSM would be propagandizing about the wonders of ObamaCare by now, but even the MSM can't sugarcoat this turd.

              They're tryin'... they're tryin'.

      2. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

        It won't be too long before a massive security breach. I'm guessing within the next 6 weeks, if it hasn't happened already and the idjits just don't know about it yet.

    2. Paul.   12 years ago

      It makes one wonder what the HVph rate (HIPAA violations per hour) is with Obamacare.

      1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

        Well, I would guess close to zero until they get it working.

        1. Paul.   12 years ago

          Or 100%. Ie, each transaction violates HIPAA. Just moving data in an unregulated way is a violation. It doesn't matter whether it gets stolen or misused.

          1. R C Dean   12 years ago

            I suspect this is the case.

          2. Michael Price   12 years ago

            You're talking about the HVpt (HIPAA violations per TRANSACTION). The HVph would be close to zero until it gets working, even if the HVpt is 100%.

  32. Killazontherun   12 years ago

    So pissed with that shit from the UK Telegraph at the moment I almost missed this awesome article.

    This is pretty much the litmus test of whether I can respect a woman.

    http://cloudfront-media.reason.....ing-is.jpg

    Do you find it insulting? Condescending? Do vagina subsidies make you more likely to vote for the candidates offering them?

    1. Rebekah   12 years ago

      Yes. Yes. No.

      The flip side of "My Body, My Choice" is "My Body, My Responsibility" and I am embarrassed by those of my sex that deny this reality.

      How'd I do?

      1. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

        IMO, you did well young padawan.

        The WAR ON WOMEN meme makes me want to begin an actual WOW.

      2. Michael Price   12 years ago

        Marry me.

  33. Tim   12 years ago

    Those are like a National Lamppon parodies from the 70's, if you are old enough to remember National Lampoon or the 70's.

    1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

      The fake census form from a 1980 issue was the funniest and the most racist shit ever. If you can recall the multiple choice answers to the question, 'what would you really do if the shit hit the fan?' you have both a smile on your face and a tinge of guilt at the moment.

    2. Ska   12 years ago

      This comment made me think of Lance Parkertip, Noted Notary Public.

      But that's not National Lampoon.

  34. Tim   12 years ago

    Lamppon, rhymes with tampons I am a retard.

    1. SugarFree   12 years ago

      Never trust a magazine that bleeds for five days but doesn't die.

  35. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    "OMG, he's hot! I hope he's as easy to get as this birth control."

    Why should I comment when this ad speaks for itself in 16-point boldface type, making my points for me?

    1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      Because it's comedy gold?

    2. Loki   12 years ago

      Remember when Rush Limbaugh was castigated and forced to apologize for calling Sandra Fluke a slut, and implying by extension that women who wanted to force their employers to give them "free" birth control pills despite their religious objections were also sluts?

      What do you suppose the odds are that the feminist left will be throwing a hissy fit over this ad pretty much saying the exact same thing that Rush did about all women (i.e. that they're sluts for wanting free birth control)? A trillion to one?

      1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

        Combine the belief in Lying for Justice with contempt for the public, and they simply don't care about yesterday's talking points. That's why it's so irritating that opponents won't shut up about the "if you like your health plan" thing. I mean, that was in the past, get over it!

        1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

          I'm shocked, shocked! to discover that progressives are more interested in manipulating people into doing their bidding than convincing them with reason. Now, why would that be?

  36. Ken Shultz   12 years ago

    If you're You're going with the low cost option.

    The pittance of a penaltax 16.5 months after January 1, 2014, is nothing compared to the cost of buying insurance. The Supreme Court said that the penaltax is only okay because it's so small, but even ignoring that, there's no way Obama has the clout in Congress to get a hike of the penaltax high enough that it makes it sufficiently expensive not to buy insurance.

    They'd have to raise the minimum penaltax from $95 to over $1,200 a year, and that's just never gonna happen.

    Here's my prediction:

    Sometime over the next six months, Barack Obama will give his version of Jimmy Carter's "Crisis of Confidence" malaise speech.

    http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americ.....er-crisis/

    It won't be about energy, of course; it'll be about health insurance. ...and it's going to be remembered as the inflection point, the time when Obama became a laughing stock. Just like Carter did.

    1. John   12 years ago

      My prediction is that over the next year it is going to fail so miserably, Democrats are going to be forced to gut it or delay it or do something. The only issue is whether they are forced to do so before or after the midterms. But if this thing continues to go this badly, Congress will gut it or repeal it over Obama's veto. They won't have a choice.

      Sure some hard core progs are going to never agree to that that and the butt hurt will be immense. But it only takes some of the Dems to team with the Republicans to override a veto.

      1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

        Kay Hagan is so desperate she is already running local ads attacking the 'extremist who shut down our government.' Not working, her poll lead is shattered, and the Rand Paul endorsed candidate running for the GOP nomination is at the top of the pack.

        http://www.politico.com/story/.....99731.html

        1. John   12 years ago

          Last I saw Mark Pryor's approval ratings in Arkansas were around 34%. This thing is so bad that McAulliffe one by less than 2 points in Virginia against this year's Todd Akin. With the shut down pissing off all of NOVA and Cuccinilli going on and on about sodomy and such, McAulliffe should have won going away. Hell, the polls had him up seven points or more after the shutdown. But then Obamacare happened and he barely won.

          What chance does a Dem in a no kidding Red state have? Or any Dem who is running against a competent and well funded opponent?

          1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

            the tell will be in a few weeks when we start making PAC decisions. we don't fund losers.

          2. Killazontherun   12 years ago

            Be great if the reaction of the Dems who survive the midterms, assuming the present course to hold steady, demand to impeach Obama to save their own political viabilaty, and blame obstructionist Republicans for his continued presence in the office. That's the world I want to live in.

            1. John   12 years ago

              Remember too Killazontherun at some point the major media is going to have to put their clothes on, make the walk of shame and pretend last night never happened. Obama is not going to be in office forever. And they are going to have to pretend they never lied and sold him to the country, if for no other reason so they can do the same with Hillary in 2016 or failing that pretend there is nothing hypocritical about them waging war against a Republican President the way they did with Bush.

              My guess is that when they realize that Obama is no longer valuable to the cause and their attacks no really hurt the next Dem, they will go after Obama as bad as they ever went after Bush. They will have one or two years of destroying Obama so they can later claim how hard they were on him like the first five years never happened.

            2. R C Dean   12 years ago

              the Dems who survive the midterms

              Will be the Pelosis and Jackson Lees, from utterly safe districts, who will never raise a finger against Obama.

              1. John   12 years ago

                If that is the case RC, then the Republicans majority will be so large they won't need any votes in the House. As for the Senate, there are plenty of unsafe Dem Senators up for re-election in 2016 or 18.

      2. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

        Assuming all Rs vote to override ...I think you need to pick off 66 votes in the House and 21 in the senate.

        1. John   12 years ago

          That is not that many when you think about it. And that is now. It is lower if things go badly for the Dems in the midterms.

    2. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

      the time when Obama became a laughing stock

      I await the killer rabbits.

  37. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    Regarding that birth control ad, it really is true that politically active, young progressive women are easy. All you got to do is just articulate some of their talking points and you suddenly become a lot more attractive.

    1. John   12 years ago

      Stop it with the slut shaming and check your privilege.

      1. Loki   12 years ago

        Stop it with the slut shaming and check your privilege.

        Uttering this sentence in front of a proggie chick is probably the most sure fire way to get her panties to drop.

        1. John   12 years ago

          I have no doubt. Ever notice how "feminist" men like that nut who wrote at Jezzebelle have a tendency to be sociopaths who collect a harem of young women to bang?

          1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

            I'm in the wrong line of work.

            1. John   12 years ago

              It would be fun for about a week. Then you would be stuck listening to all of their bullshit. That is a situation only a sociopath or masochist could love.

              1. Michael Price   12 years ago

                No that's why you have a harem, so you can move one once they start you know, talking.

                Wow, that came out WAYYYY... more misogynist than I meant it to. But I still stand by by it.

  38. lap83   12 years ago

    "He set out to carve the pumpkin. He ended up carving himself."

    Lies! This poor innocent black child was just minding his own business eating skittles. That racist pumpkin had it in for him from the start!!!'

  39. A Frayed Knot   12 years ago

    These were real? I saw this off my twitter feed and thought they were parodies. Good grief.

    1. Sevo   12 years ago

      ..."I saw this off my twitter feed and thought they were parodies."

      I thought the same thing about O'care, but was assured by several brain-deads that we got a real deal!
      I've since sold them controlling interest in the north anchorage of a local bridge so I can pay my med insurance premiums.

  40. John   12 years ago

    Sometimes "gay" is way over used as a descriptive term. But my God, that "Brosurance" one is the gayest ad I have ever seen. It is at once homoerotic and completely offensive to the human race straight and gay.

    1. playa manhattan   12 years ago

      It's just 2 guys picking up another guy in a tank top and spreading his legs. I don't see what's gay about that...

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        You can tell it's not gay by the way the guy in the flag shorts has his hand resting gently right below the kegstanding guy's ass on the outside of his shorts instead of his hand being in the same place, under the shorts.

        1. John   12 years ago

          Like I said, it manages to be offensive to the entire human race, straight and gay alike.

        2. John   12 years ago

          You are right Jesse, it is not gay. It is "frat boys who give each other blow jobs and chase each other around naked and call it 'hazing'" kind of thing. That is not gay. But what is it?

          1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

            But what is it?

            Hawt.

            1. John   12 years ago

              Yeah I suppose so. Sort of like sorority girls doing the same thing is to me.

  41. TCop19   12 years ago

    Hey, if anyone is stupid enough to fall for the health care scam, they're stupid enough to be pulled in by an idiotic ad campaign (these ads really are a spoof, right?).

  42. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    I finally got the doyougotinsurance.com site to load. It is worth it -- how could Nick not have included the ad with the butch lesbian roller derby team*?

    *NTTAWWT

    1. SugarFree   12 years ago

      butch lesbian roller derby team

      Doubly redundant.

      1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

        At last, I've achieved Marcotte levels of efficiency in communication!

    2. Loki   12 years ago

      And then there's this one.

      I don't think the phrase "smoking hot" means what they think it means. Apparently they think it means chubby with a severe case of horse face.

      1. Thane is a cosmotarian!   12 years ago

        ...pron for John?

      2. John   12 years ago

        So guess they are out exercising for the collective? Getting healthy so they contribute more than they take?

    3. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      OMG! I thought this article cherry-picked the most embarrassingly stupid ads. Instead, the three examples are only of average stupidity.

      Hey, young Obamatons, check out this link to see how utterly stupid Team Obama thinks you are.

      Forward!?

      1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

        There are all of 3 that could pass for not being parody. Even those ones are corny at best.

  43. Ken Shultz   12 years ago

    We should start reminding progressives, too, that as much as they enjoy making fun of libertarians for always talking about Econ 101, it shouldn't escape anybody's notice that their big experiment in universal coverage may indeed fail because the progressive-in-chief doesn't seem to know the first thing about price signals.

    Consumer behavior doesn't respond to public service ads on MTV or rousing speeches by Barack Obama.

    No really.

    Consumer behavior does respond to price signals. If people don't think they need it, and it costs less not to buy it, then they're going with the low cost option.

    No really.

    1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      But Yes We Can? ignore Econ 101 when we have the Audacity of Hope? and an agenda of Hope'n'Change?.

      Let me be clear: Yes We Can? move Forward!?

      1. The Last American Hero   12 years ago

        Maybe take a Great Leap Forward?

  44. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

    The $1500 Early Bird Prize in HHS' Healthy Young America's video contest went to this catchy, inspirational gem:

    http://health.younginvincibles.org/video-contest/

    1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      You may need to scroll down to see the ad.

  45. OldMexican   12 years ago

    None of the ads explains why you should bother signing up for insurance before showing up at the hospital or the doctor's office by the way.

    No need to. You are asked to sign in and fork over $400.00 a month to some insurance crony because it's the hip, groovy and real happening thing to do.

  46. OldMexican   12 years ago

    Go here to look at even more ads that will make you not only think twice about Obamacare but about the decision to let Colorado enter the union way back when.

    Ba-rum-dum! Pshh!

  47. OldMexican   12 years ago

    Will Shitty Obamacare Ads Get Young People to Buy Insurance?

    Well, the ads are pretty shitty... There's no way to beat around the bush with that fact.

  48. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

    Vigil held for embattled Lebanon County pastor

    I wonder what the barriers to exit are in this case.

    1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

      Oh for fuck's sake, wrong thread.

  49. MikeyLikesIt   12 years ago

    Email from the director of CCHI, one of the primary backers of this ad campaign: "

    I think the ads are 1) reaching out target demo which are mostly not the people who are upset and 2) raising the volume is good, regardlews5."

  50. steve walsh   12 years ago

    Bro'surance, Ho'surance, & D'Ohsurance. Who could be offended by that?

  51. Render Unto Caesar   12 years ago

    thanks obamacare!: the equivalent of thanking someone for sparing your life after they murder your entire family.

  52. IVillageIdiot   12 years ago

    Shitty adds convinced the knuckle-heads on two occasions to vote for him even AFTER they knew he was a "Community Organizer" from Chicago... I don't see why it won't keep working for twenty more years.

    They should be about 40 by then, huh?

  53. goneGalt   12 years ago

    OK guys, serious question here.

    Are we ABSOLUTELY sure we are not being trolled here? A la "twerking girl on fire" and Jimmy Kimmel?

    Even if I take the position that the entire administration is simultaneously dumb as a stump while being evil incarnate, I just can't believe they would sign off on something like this.

    1. Winghunter   12 years ago

      Oh, you can't bring yourself to believe it, eh??

      October 14th, 2008 (That's 3 weeks before the election for all you geniuses): "You have to pinch yourself ? a Marxist radical who all his life has been mentored by, sat at the feet of, worshipped with, befriended, endorsed the philosophy of, funded and been in turn funded, politically promoted and supported by a nexus comprising black power anti-white racists, Jew-haters, unrepentant former terrorists and Chicago mobsters, is on the verge of becoming President of the United States. And it's considered impolite to say so!" - Melanie Philips, The Spectator ( UK )

      Search this up: Obama Secret Service Agent: "It's Worse Than People Know ..."

  54. goneGalt   12 years ago

    EDIT:
    Alright, so it is supposedly some private progressive group and not the administration. How long do you think it will take for the administration to pull these guys aside and tell them, you're not helping?

  55. Winghunter   12 years ago

    When the kids see what their price tag is for Obama's Commiecare, all we'll hear is laughter and cussing.

    BTW, the gerbil stuck in Gere's rear is a true story. A paramedic I personally know was in the waiting room at the time they wheeled the two critters in.

  56. Fanglemeister   12 years ago

    We send our babies off to college at 18 to earn their advanced degrees in Partay (with concomitant studies in Getsum), that's expensive enough, but they're supposed to buy their own insurance now too?

    I thought Barry wanted us to keep them on the parents' insurance until the kids are fully pickled and ready to graduate to the unemployment lines at age 26?

  57. cobright   12 years ago

    Love the title of this post, way to keep it classy Nick.

  58. JRS1001   12 years ago

    Those ads are National Embarrassment.
    This is how the Federal government views 20-something people.
    PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!!

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