Civil Liberties

Hamptons School Board Bringing Drug Dogs Into High School, Voted on Unanimously to "Thunderous Applause"

Didn't hear any complaints, or about the Constitution?


come here or sic em?

The school board in East Hampton, New York says it didn't hear any complaints it took in the three weeks to get from an idea by a parent concerned about drugs at the local high school to the school board voting unanimously to bring drug dogs into the building. Via the East Hampton Star:

A packed house of parents sat close together, speaking as one in favor of the proposal.

"I speak in support of this policy, as a taxpayer and parent of a young child in the district," said Jeff Erickson. "I applaud the board. We all know that we have an epidemic on Long Island with oxycodone and prescription-drug use. It starts with alcohol and marijuana. If we have children using our facility to sell drugs or use drugs, let's get rid of them. Let's get them out, because they're poisoning our children."

Mr. Erickson continued: "I'm pretty conservative on this. I have no problem with them sniffing our children."

Thunderous applause followed his remarks.

"We have not heard one word against — not one," said Patricia Hope, the board president, yesterday morning.

One parent suggested the dogs do the cars in the parking lot, too. No word on what the teachers union might say about that. The principal of the high school says the building would go on "modified lockdown" during surprise visits by the county sheriff's K-9 unit, and local police would be called if drugs were found.

Read Jacob Sullum's March Reason piece on how police use drug dogs to manufacuter probable cause here. Schools need only "reasonable suspicion" to conduct searches, the Supreme Court explained in a 2009 decision about a middle school girl strip searched over an Advil, which you can read Sullum on here.

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  1. Padme was right!

    1. Not when she allowed herself to be Skywalked.

  2. Drug dogs, like the rest of us, want a home in the Hamptons.

  3. And you guys wonder why I think Fatso has a chance at winning the Presidency. If the Dems continue to implode over Obamacare, people like this are going to want a new father figure to come and protect their little snowflakes from the world. And fat ass is just the man for the job when they turn their lonely eyes to the Republicans.

    1. By Fat Ass, I assume you mean Romney II, the Revenge of Romney Christie?

      1. There is only one fat ass who warrants the title.

        1. And he justifies his gun grabbing to the West and the South how?

          1. He does what every politician does, he lies. What are those states going to do, vote for Hillary?

            All fatty needs is the nomination and he is golden.

            1. Fuck him I'd rather have Shillary!

              1. But Christie is a tough minded independent fish. He will go to Washington and put politics aside and get things done.

                It sound stupid, but there are millions of low information voters who eat shit like that up. And Fat Ass is a master at that kind of language.

                I have never bought the Hillary hype. But Fat Ass scares me.

                1. I actually agree with you that if he got the nom, he'd have an easier time in the general election. I just think there are enough gun owning SIV's in the GOP to stop him in the primary.

                2. But Christie is a tough minded independent fish. He will go to Washington and put politics aside and get things done.

                  Wow...when you put it like this I guess he's okay! I don't know what I was thinking.

                  (No....I know you were kidding)

          2. Christie does not have a prayer in the nomination process. Romney's genius was never getting luvy dovey with the media in hopes they would do his dirty work for him, and MSM snits are counter productive to winning over the base of the GOP. Christie is all about that. That is his political career in a nutshell. When he puts his hat in the ring, the MSM will concern troll the fuck out of the GOP about purity test, this annoys the base like nothing else, and Christie will pay the price.

            1. From your lips to God's ear. But, if the base is divided among Paul and Cruz and no other establishment shitbag runs, he could still win.

            2. Maybe, but Christie is a savvy retail politician. I could see him picking some fights with the MSM to impress conservatives, and we know he's very good at that sort of combativeness.

              1. Savvy in knowing how to play the game in New Jersey is very different than being able to speak the language of the GOP base like a native tongue. Without an attitude adjustment that reverses his own natural instincts, when pulling off his usual stunts, he'll wind up offending more voters in the South and the West than gaining their support.

  4. said Jeff Erickson. "I applaud the board. We all know that we have an epidemic on Long Island with oxycodone and prescription-drug use. It starts with alcohol and marijuana. If we have children using our facility to sell drugs or use drugs, let's get rid of them. Let's get them out, because they're poisoning our children."

    Said Mr. Erickson, before heading back to his Hampton house and whipping up a batch of "toonies" so he and his wife, Buffy could relax.

    1. Jenkem! Krokodil! Spice! BATH SALTZ!!

    2. Can dogs smell prescription drugs and tell if they're being misused? Am I missing something here?

  5. Let's get them out, because they're poisoning our children.

    If you don't want your kids to be spoiled twits who down party drugs by the barrel, why are you living in the Hamptons?

    1. ^this.

  6. Thunderous applause followed his remarks.

    "We have not heard one word against ? not one," said Patricia Hope, the board president, yesterday morning.

    Libertopia is upon us!

    1. Indeed. On that note, I've prepared my campaign speech for when I finally run for office. Here goes:

      "A vote for me is a vote for common-sense laws which protect our children from terrorists. My administration will balance traditional family values and social justice, helping working Americans achieve the American Dream. I will raise taxes on those who are not paying their fair share, allowing us to stimulate the economy through carefully targeted investments. I will be tough on crime, I will create jobs in growing industries, and I will keep your children safe. Vote for me!"

      1. the "investing" needs to be done in some combination of a) our children, b) our future, and/or c) our crumbling infrastructure.

        Other than that you nailed it.

        1. Not just any ol' investment in children/future/infrastructure but targeted investments.

  7. Come on guys, lets say it loud and say it together

    If you had children you would feel differently about this.

    And yes, the vomiting lamp is lit.

    1. I have children. And ironically, I gave my daughter "the talk" last night. She's eleven, I felt it was time.

      1. You are just a bad parent Paul.

        1. It is kind of amazing, how it ain't 1954. I'm sitting there, explaining to my 11 year old daughter who truly, TRULY is about as innocent as you can get, that she should never, ever... ever speak to a cop if she finds herself in a confrontation with on. "Let the cop arrest you, " I told her.

          "You will never, EVER be in trouble with me if you call me from the station. You will, however be in trouble with me if I find you spoke or allowed officers to interrogate you."

          1. Terrible world. I know kids are sexual long before adults want to face reality. But you ought to be able to stay innocent at 11.

            1. I remember some things about being 11. 11 year olds have never been all that innocent.

              1. Mine is. So much so I'm worried about her.

                1. I suppose there is a lot of variation of maturity levels at that age. By 11 I was fully into my wanting to fuck anything vaguely female (and human) stage and had discovered by dad's Penthouse stash.

                2. Have her apply for the Reason internship. That should, umm, broaden her horizons.

                3. Mine is.

                  No, she isn't. Trust me on this.

          2. Don't forget to mention that the cop will use lies and trickery to try to get her to talk. That the cop may pretend to be on the kid's side, or threaten grave punishment for not talking. You must impress upon her that cops lie, lie, and then lie some more.

            1. Absolutely I told her that. I told her the cop might even indicate that she can avoid arresting if she just answers a few questions. I told her, "Just hold your hands out for the cuffs and call me when you get to the station."

              Parents don't realize how vulnerable their kids could be. I gave her a mock scenario, because she was honestly having trouble understanding why she'd ever get arrested for something, and her mom was kind of looking at me sideways.

              "Your 18, 19 yrs old, you're out driving with some friends. You know two of them, you don't know the third. The third has some ecstacy in her pocket. Driver gets pulled over for speeding (or whatever). Friend gets nervous, drops the X onto the floorboards. Cop comes up to the door, speaks to the driver, suspects a car full of teenagers of shenanigans, shines his light into the car, sees the pill on the floor. Next thing you know, the cop is questioning you and telling you that the person standing over there says the X is yours..."

              I told her don't deny it, don't try to explain it. Just say, "I'm sorry, sir, I can't answer any questions."

              1. To be fair, I have managed to talk my way out of some shit with the cops. But that was in my late 20s and early 30s, after I had honed my bullshitting skills. As a teenager there's no way I could have gotten away with it.

                1. To be fair, I have managed to talk my way out of some shit with the cops. But that was in my late 20s and early 30s,

                  It's certainly easy to talk your way into bullshit with cops.

                  We'd hang out in front of my house talking in groups at night, and I had a Mrs. Kravitz type neighbor who would routinely call the cops when she saw us there.

                  Cop would drive up (usually time was around 11pm or so), he'd saunter up, ask us what we were doing. After about 30 seconds he'd say, "where do you live", I'd say, "Right here" and point to the house. He'd nod and then say, "well someone called about a disturbance, you guys seem pretty quiet. Just keep your voices down..." then he'd drive off.

                  Man that must have pissed her off.

                  Anyhoo, I'm sure had I been rude or belligerent, I could have talked my way 'into' an arrest.

                  I did get 'interrogated' by some cops during CrazyAssed girlfriend 27, and in retrospect, I'm amazed I didn't get arrested. The cops in that scenario were pretty relaxed too.

                2. David Simon had a chapter in, IIRC, his book Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets, that did nothing but talk about the police interrogation and Miranda. His assessment was that you were a complete idiot if you thought you could try and talk your way out your predicament in that setting. I believe it. The police in that position listen to liars every day, and are adept at getting their subjects to trip over their own lies. Simon's observation was that far more people talk their way into trouble than out of it. Or, what Paul basically said.

          3. Is she allowed to tell the pig she wants her lawyer?

            1. Yep. Unfortunately she doesn't "have" a lawyer. She'll have me, who will have a fucking junk-yard dog of a lawyer.

            2. Until 18, just daddy is enough.

    2. "Dear Mr. Jones:
      Your child has been taken to the ER by police officers after he acted nervously and was seen to be clenching his buttocks. He refused to allow his anus to examined in violation of the district's anal policy..."

      1. If your kids have nothing to hide, they should agree to be sodomized.

    3. If you had children you would feel differently about this.

      And then if your child gets caught with drugs, anal probed and thrown in jail, you would feel differently again.

      My experience with parents tells me that their feelings aren't generally a good way to make policy. While parental feeling are often quite understandable, they are often not terribly rational. That's how you end up with Jenny McCarthy anti-vaccine bullshit.

    4. Correction: if you had children you would feel differently about OTHER PEOPLES' KIDS being sniffed. By lay one nostril on my little angel...

  8. Cavity searches should be a part of any well-rounded social studies curriculum.

    1. You know the same people who won't let the teenager walk to school alone because of the CHILD MOLESTERZ!! would be totally down with that to keep their little snowflake off drugs.

  9. Mr. Erickson continued: "I'm pretty conservative on this. I have no problem with them sniffing our children."

    Is he talking about the cops or the dogs.


    Unfortunately, the SCOTUS will rule that this is perfectly constitutional.

    I am really hoping that Mr. Erickson's child is busted.

    1. I swear, this country has been suffering from mass hysteria for years. Just like the scientist who proposed that the mass outbreak of supposed peanut allergies was a form of mass hysteria, I swear to Jeebus that the whole fucking country has been in mass hysteria mode over drugs and child predators since the mid 80's. It's just amazing. He has no problem with unaccountable drug dogs sniffing his children? Oh yeah? And when they signal that your little brat is positive for drugs, are you going to sing the same tune? Parents have become almost completely collectively insane.

      1. I think people have a minimum amount of fear. They can never wake up and not be afraid of something. The Cold War gave them something to fear. Since that ended they have gone from one mass hysteria to the next seeking new ways to meet minimum fear.

      2. my wife and I talk a lot about how dealing with other parents is at times harder than having the actual kid.

        1. Parents are insane. Kids never change. But adults certainly do change. I really wonder what this generation is going to look like as adults. What will be the long term effect of being raised by the most neurotic and superstitious parents in human history?

          1. I think there's a libertarian future. This generation will not want their kids searched, photographed, sniffed, restricted, x-rayed and generally presumed guilty by every authority figure from teachers to the TSA.

            1. Your words to the ears of the God of Libertopia!

            2. Except that by then it will be too late.

      3. They believe cops only do bad things to bad people and would never, ever do anything wrong to good people like their kids or themselves. I don't think it's mass hysteria so much as wishful thinking. My wife used to think I was paranoid about cops until about a year ago when she got a bullshit ticket for making a right turn at a red light. She fought it in court and was really surprised when the cop outright lied about what happened. The only way the blinders will come off these people in the Hamptons is when their kids get arrested.

      4. Back in the early '70s I saw a list comparing patriarchal and matriarchal societies, with the ideals of each. Everything synced pretty well with traditional social ideals vs. Age of Aquarius/hippy ideals: for instance, patriarchal societies are concerned with honor, matriarchal with fairness or compassion (IIRC).

        The one area that did not fit was a fear. In patriarchal society, the fear was homosexuality. That fit, even then, because of early gay liberation. The equivalent fear on the matriarchal side, though, was fear of child abuse. At the time, there was no sign of a shift in that direction. But since then? Oh yeah.

  10. Just wait until their little preciouses get tossed into the system after the dogs they clapped for indicate their brat's locker.

    1. C'mon Fistie, that only happen in the neighborhoods where these peoples' gardeners live.

      1. The whole problem for the Hamptons started when they integrated the schools.

        1. Bussing in junkies and dealers from the drug slums..

  11. "I have no problem with them sniffing our children."

    Oh, ya dont say?

    Where is pedobot when he is needed? I am sure he would have something clever to say about that.

      1. I always suspected you were anonbot.

    1. It never seems to occur to these idiots that their kid could be the one that's caught dealing or even holding, and that there could be far worse consequences from that than from smoking weed.

    2. Is this my cue?

      1. "No mister no, your candy makes my butt bleed!"

  12. Good. Now parents can see how the legal system can ruin the lives of their children. Johnny's got a joint in his locker? Guess what, parents. Your kid is now ineligible for student loans and the military. You wanted Johnny to go to college? Unless you're paying for it out of pocket, he's screwed. But it's all for his own good.

  13. If I went to that school, I'd grind up some stems and seeds and poppy seeds and sprinkle it around the teacher's lounge, the principal's office, and on their cars in the parking lot, at the air intakes at the base of the windshields.

    1. Yeah. This would be very, very tempting.

    2. Brilliant - someone tweet to some highschoolers 🙂

  14. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too harsh in my opinion of Normals, and then I see shit like this. "Turn the school into a prison? Who could object to that?"

    No! You're not thinking! You're on drugs!

  15. How hard can it be for the kids to plant drugs on the administrators?

    1. It is probably unneccessary to plant drugs on the administrators.

      But the admins will never be subjected to search, even by proxy dog, unless they write a letter protesting some police practice.

    2. Or on each other. That is one way to take care of a bully I guess.

      1. Perhaps Mr. Martin should have planted some PEDs in Mr. Incognito's locker?

        1. No. In his beer. Watch the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary on Ben Johnson sometime. It pretty much proves that the sleazy Santa Monica Track Club coach got a Jamaican friend of Johnson's to feed Johnson a beer laced with steroids right after the 1988 100 meter finals causing Johnson to test positive.

  16. Even given their general crappy record, can dogs even smell pills?

    1. Who cares? They can smell officer approval, that's all they need.

  17. What will be really funny is when some of the teachers get busted. Ha!

    1. The NEA will fund a defense all the way to the supreme court

    2. Forty years from now, I can imagine one of those kids being faced with the decision to allow her parent's brains to be put in the body of a cloned replica or pull the plug. She recalls that time in high school the K9 officer's cold wet nose went up her dress and bumped her sphincter just before its big lopping disgusting tongue rolled around her vulva, and her parent whom allowed and encouraged it to happen.

      'Pull the plug.'

      1. You're very disturbing and frightening when you channel SugarFree.

        1. We were probably raised on the same early to mid 1980s issues of Hustler magazine.

  18. "OK, Kids! Do you know what day it is? That's right! It's Drug Dog Wednesday! Everyone out to the hall and bend over. Negatives can come back to class, but positives must head right on down to the nurse's office for the anal rape phase of Drug Dog Wednesday."

  19. What could possib-lye go wrong?

  20. You know who else had meetings end in thunderous applause?

    1. Emperor Palpatine?

    2. L Ron Hubbard?

    3. Led Zeppelin?

      1. Ron Dellums?

    4. Sorry, everyone. I was looking for Maximus Decimus Meridius. Maximus Decimus Meridius was the correct response.

      1. I'll be in my bunk (despite the fact that I hated that movie)

  21. Come to think of it, I do remember a few times at my high school where they brought in the drug-sniffing dogs. Pretty much everyone thought it was bullshit, but that's high school.

    Elementary school kids would probably think it the coolest thing ever if the cops roughed up a six grader for holding prescription drugs.

  22. Never happened while I was at school. But several years after I graduated there was a surprise dog search at my former high school. All the students were told to leave their bags where they were (which is just fucked) and go outside and stand in the football field.

    Some parents tried to sue, but didn't get anywhere. One woman who I worked with at the time and who had students there at the time was involved in the suit and was accused in the local paper of defending drug dealers or some stupid shit.

    But here is the amazing and somewhat suspicious part. They didn't find any drugs. Which is simply absurd. The only explanations I can think of are that they were just there to teach the kids a lesson on authoritah, it was a training exercise, or that they knew that it wasn't really legal and didn't want to deal with it in court. Probably some combination of all three.

    1. Or the kids were smart enough to keep it in their sock or something, instead of in their bag or locker.

      1. That's possible. I know I was always smart enough to keep anything I brought to school on my person. But it's always been a pretty druggy school so it was quite surprising.

  23. I can do you one better. I remember meeting a woman hawking a business in which she leased drug-sniffing dogs to parents to search their children's rooms for drugs. "It's the only way to be sure!" I think she went out of business shortly thereafter.

  24. Why doesn't the school just hire the "My Future Self 'N' Me" people to teach these kids a lesson?


    Schumer wants DOJ to GPS retarded kids. The Virginia Libertarian Party immediately thinks "why didn't we think of that?"

    1. What could possibly go wrong? It's voluntary, right? Surely the government would never misue such a program, and they'd never make a voluntary program manditory, would they?

  26. This makes me want to attend school board and PTA meetings to keep an eye on the legion of helicopter parents around here. They are so legion they pick up and comfort my kid when he falls down.

    1. Send the drugs dogs to the parking lot of the PTA and school board meetings - EVERY SINGLE MEETING - EVERY CAR "SNIFFED"

  27. So much for, It couldn't happen here.

    *hums, Deutschland, Deutschland, uber Alles*

    1. That poor song got hijacked by the National Socialists, but it has more innocent origins - a 19th-century drinking song to the tune of Haydn't Emperor Concerto. Modern Germany still uses verse 3:

      Unity and justice and freedom
      For the German fatherland!
      For these let us all strive
      Brotherly with heart and hand!
      Unity and justice and freedom
      Are the pledge of fortune;
      |: Flourish in this fortune's blessing,
      Flourish, German fatherland! 😐

      1. you know who else liked drinking songs?

        1. Could we get a ruling - when a discussion has already been Godwinned, do you get to make "you know who else" jokes?

          1. Yes, but everybody must answer with "Hitler"

        2. Your mom?

          And Epi's mom?

      2. You're thinking Beethoven with the Emperor Concerto. The tune is taken from Haydn's Emperor Quartet.

  28. And he justifies his gun grabbing to the West and the South how?

    "It's for your own good. Now lean forward and spread 'em."

  29. "Can we at least get the dog to stop 'alerting' on my fucking thigh?"

  30. you know who else liked drinking songs?

    Every rugby player i have ever known?

  31. We had the dogs come to my school and the parking lot regularly when I was in high school 17 years ago. Those of us who were part of that 'crowd' just learned to park a block away on the street.

    A few years before that a dog sat on my backpack in class. At that point in time I was very innocent and had never even tried a cigarette or a beer let alone anything else. It was both scary and amusing watching them go through my backup looking through every page and trying to figure out what illegal substance the paper was that had been in my backup for 6 months and was literally breaking down from having books pulled in and out for 6 months.

  32. "Smithers, release the hounds."

  33. We'll see how much "thunderous applause" they give when the jackboots decide to use dogs to sniff their homes when they're deemed "unfit parents" by the State.

  34. Great, prepare the kids for a lifetime of no dignity, personal violations and obedience to the state. Get 'em while they're young!

  35. It would only take one kid with a spray bottle filled with hemp tea to derail this entire effort. All it would take is a few sprays down the hallways and the dogs would hit on everything they stuck their noses against.

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