Student Loans

U.S. Senator Talks to Youths About College Loans Via Animated Gifs. Bald Eagles Weep.


Apparently, United States senators are now communicating with the people about complex policy issues via animated gifs in BuzzFeed listicles. Cue piteous weeping for the fate of democracy. And a highly relevant animated gif, obviously.


Today at BuzzFeed Politics, Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.) attempts to reach out to the kids these days with this gem: "11 Reasons Why Congress Needs To Fix Student Loan Rates Now." He's asking youths to tweeter about how they don't want to pay the government for the use of its money to go to college with the hastag #dontdoublemyrate. 

Some of his reasons are misleading, like this one:  

1) Because on July 1st, your student loan rates doubled from 3.4% to 6.8%.


The rate increase doesn't apply to current loans. The feature strongly imples that graduates will find themselves owing an additional $1,000/year on average all of the sudden. Instead, the increases apply going forward. Future students will know the new rate and be able to make their own choices about whether to take loans at that rate.

Some of his reasons to keep rates low are actually good reasons to let the rate increase:

8) 41% of you with loans will be delinquent at some point, severely hurting your credit scores.


These low repayment rates are a product of an environment where kids are encouraged to take out loans that can't afford to pay back, due in large part massive federal subsidies. If you make something cheaper, people will consume more of it—whether or not that is a good idea in the long term.

(Or, to put it in the terms that the youths can understand: Cheap loans = Cheetos.)

Oh god, now I'm doing it too. Send help.

Here: Just watch this video instead.

Related: Cracked on 4 stupid ways the government is embracing the Internet.

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  1. Love the misleading comment about my rates doubling. My student loan rate went from 2.6% Per Annum to 2.8% per annum. At the new rate, I’ll end up paying about a thousand dollars in interest for my 2013 fiscal year. Mind you, that’s about what I paid in 2012…

    1. ** I know, the rates only apply to new loans, but his avoidance of that fact was deliberate too.

  2. “Oh god, now I’m doing it too. Send help.”

    Warty, go teach him the meaning of pain!

    1. Now he will know why he fears the night.

    2. You guys realize KMW is a woman, right?…. RIGHT?

  3. I’ve never had a seizure due to photosensitive epilepsy, but GIFs just about do the trick.

    1. I warned people yesterday that it was a matter of time.

  4. ROCK, FLAG, AND EAGLE! And taxpayer-subsidized loans for students. USA! USA!

    1. In my defense, I’ve never been delinquent on paying back my loans. I didn’t take on debt I couldn’t afford.

      1. thankfully you also never lost your job or suffered a serious illness

        1. I did lose my job – out of work for six months. Kept up my payments, and wrote a book. Got a new job.

      2. thankfully you’ve also never suffered a serious illness or lost your job

        1. Yeah, it would be a damn shame if there was one class of debt that couldn’t be discharged through bankruptcy if one experienced an unexpected and rare reversal of fortune.

          1. That class being debt to the State.

        2. Guy Laguy| 7.11.13 @ 3:01PM |#
          “thankfully you also never lost your job or suffered a serious illness”

          Your posts continue to be amusing archetypes of brain-dead lefty excuses.

        3. thankfully you have
          also never suffered
          a serious illness
          or lost your job

          HAIKU FAIL

        4. Been laid off three times in the last 12 years, never missed a student loan payment. Of course, I drive an old car and don’t spend money on tattoos…

    2. See, here’s where you’re wrong. Thanks to these subsidies, we now have millions of new scientists and engineers. Tens of millions. All working to make America great. Why do you hate America?

      1. Because of those people who study uneconomical programs and then whine about how they can’t find employment. I got a degree in a field I hate because that’s where there were jobs. (Then the world discovered offshoring). The little snowflakes can suck it up too and do something useful.

        1. What, I love the law? Fuck that. I’d like to be a rocket man.

          1. Burning down your fuse of there alone?

        2. There was a guy on a friends’ FB today — bitching is the wrong word, so let’s say explaining his experience with regret — talking about running up $40k in student loans to end up a waiter and how he wouldn’t advise his path to anyone else. So the natural question was, “what did you get your degree in?” Oh, PoliSci? Yeah. No wonder you can’t carry the vig on $40k at 3% per annum.

          1. With any kind of luck, Mom or Dad co-signed and now they can pay for their failure as parents.

          2. Anyone with a degree in Poli Sci can get a job easily. The fed gov and pretty much all state govs are constantly – constantly – hiring. I get at least one job listing a day in my email inbox just for my small bureau alone.

            1. Well, he’s waiting tables in the state capital, so he’s obviously done something wrong.

              1. Waiting tables still stuck in Tallahassee. Yikes.

          3. Just the name pisses me off. Since when is politics “science”?

            A more appropriate course title: “Self-Aggrandizement for Pathological Liars”

            1. Scruffy Nerfherder| 7.11.13 @ 3:18PM |#
              Just the name pisses me off. Since when is politics “science”?

              Read Drezner =


              Personally I think the people who get uppity about the label are often baldish small-penis STEM grads who have nothing else to feel superior about. Just my observation.

              1. I fit at least one of those descriptive terms.

                Science tends to be evidence based. Other than how to best treat the public as ignorant rubes, I can’t find much evidenced based activity in politics.

              2. Personally I think the people who get uppity about the label are often baldish small-penis STEM grads who have nothing else to feel superior about. Just my observation.


            2. I think it comes from an older meaning of the word “science”. It used to just mean knowing a lot about something.

  5. I have an idea. Stop subsidizing loans, make them dischargeable, and just walk away.

    1. If it weren’t for student loans, I would never have been able to get my degree in Southeast Asian Gender Studies.

      Why do you want Southeast Asian Gender to go unstudied?

      1. May I please have fries with that? In a way that doesn’t offend Southeast Asian conceptions of gender, of course.

      2. Couldn’t you just google that topic? I bet you could find lots of free videos just by typing in “asian girls” or “asian boys”.

        1. But don’t type that in all at once. I learned from experience during my research that typing in ‘Asian lady boys’ leads to some unexpected results.

          1. Foreseeable results are not unexpected…

  6. If they’re going to use the animated gif, they should at least be using it right.

    1. Ah shit. Well, one is all you get.

  7. Animated GIFs in lieu of video are never funny.

    1. They’re useful for porn. Other than that, I hate them.

      1. Of course, this is Warty, who thinks everything is porn-worthy.

        1. who thinks everything is porn-worthy

          1. You’re not getting me to click on that link.

            1. Dude, you want to click on that link, trust me. Or you could just Google “Zahia Dehar”.

          2. You’re doing it wrong.

          3. You know, she’s super hot, but the amount she arches her back makes mine hurt just watching. (I say that after the extended video you posted last week.)

            1. We get to leer at her, and her intervertebral discs get to suffer. That’s how it is, and that’s how it ought to be.

            2. But yes, you’re correct. Maybe she should squat more.

    2. they are worse than Vines

  8. GIFs are where joy and humor go to die. The fact that Buzzfeed has created a successful website based on semi-literate GIF-addled listicles is one of the most obvious signs of societal decline.

    1. The fact that Buzzfeed has created a successful website based on semi-literate GIF-addled listicles is one of the most obvious signs of societal decline

      No kidding. Here Buzzfeed explains the timeline of the Egyptian revolution in Jurassic Park GIFs.

      Because stupidity will find a way.

      1. My god that’s stupid. It’s so stupid that I’m kind of impressed how stupid it is.

        1. If you thought THAT was stupid, get a load of the first sentence of the top comment:

          Ranjan Roy ? Follow ? Top Commenter ? New York, New York
          I regularly defend Buzzfeed’s hard news coverage as some of the best around to old-fogey media types. You just made that job infinitely harder.

      2. Some of them don’t even make sense.

        Under this:

        Massive protests broke out, forcing him to reverse his decree and cancel the assembly.

        is a GIF of a guy with a gun saying ‘clever girl.’

        What the fuck does that even mean?

      3. W T F ?

        Stoner did that. Had to be.

      4. Somebody has WAY too much free time.

    2. And God knows I hate slideshow lists too.

    3. I only realized a few weeks ago that that’s all Buzzfeed does. I thought it was another Gawker-y type of site and it was just a coincidence that the few times I was linked there, it was a list of GIFs.

    4. Oh come on GIFs are sometimes funny. Like…5% of the time.

      1. 5% of funny GIFs are funny 5% of the time.

      2. They’re funny if they’re in response to something. Once in a while, if someone says something and another person responds with a GIF that is perfect for the situation, it can be kind of funny.

        In that case it’s funny because it’s a comeback to what someone else said. If you just throw GIFs onto a website with a half dozen words underneath, that is definitely never funny.

        1. That’s exactly it.

        2. Dude, too many words. Couldn’t you have just explained it with a gif?

            1. I switched to a faster browser earlier this week, and the link STILL took forever to load. Next time just load the image by itself.

  9. There is no fucking drummer better than Neil Pert!

  10. Ward, I am frickin’ billing you for replacement battery for my phone.

  11. Yeah, p.s. – this post crashed my gizmo like 5 times.

    1. This is why I visit H&R with only cached images set to load.

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