Reason Tweets the State of the Union 2013 Now!

Join the Reason staff for news, views, and abuse about Barack Obama's 2013 State of the Union address. Don't forget to check out the official Reason drinking game.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

The state of our teachers unions is strong.

[db]

Suck my sweaty depilated sack, Fist.

[Anonymous Coward]

Stand back, Barry. I've got three cases of Shock Top and I'm not afraid to use them.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I haven't seen any of this season's episodes yet, so these better not be spoilers.

[Anonymous Coward]

Why are all of these idiots wearing green ribbons? Are they showing solidarty with the Man/Warty Love Movement?

[iggy]

It's impossible for Warty to love any man, unless by 'love' you mean 'enjoys wearing his skin.'

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Frank Underwood agrees

[Alack]

Disorganized Labor Strike Again

[db]

Are we going to watch the State of the Union Address, db?

No, Other db; no, we aren't.

[AlmightyJB]

have fun. not watching. bye.

[World's Oldest Fraggle]

You could watch the State of the Union Address... Or you could watch Michelle Jenneke's SI Swimsuit Profile

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

She has a few things in common with Michelle Obama. Discuss.

[Generic Stranger]

Err....They're both technically female, and are both named Michelle? All I got.

[Art Vandelay]

Wow, thank you for posting that.

I'll be in bunk for the rest of the evening....

[Jesus H. Christ]

A link that is safe!!! Yay!!

She is just too adorable.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Highly unlikely I'll make it through this without destroying my teeeveee. But here goes.

[brlfq]

I'M NOT WATCHING!
.
.
800 comments later....

[brlfq]

OK, 600.
Not bad for nobody watching it.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I'd rather be chemically castrated than listen to that loathesome cunt's victory ejaculations.

[SweatingGin]

Oh thank got the thread is up, I was about to start trolling friends on twitter.

So, to get that going:

Nice to see Holder wasn't too busy with Med MJ raids and asset forfeitures to make it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHO MICHELLE IS WEARING.

[brlfq]

Chewbacca.

[db]

In a Buffalo Bill sense?

[Francisco d Anconia]

It rubs the lotion on its skin, it does this whenever it's told.

[Anonymous Coward]

She's wearing a Trandoshan skin. They are the ancient enemies of the Wookiee people.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Beohner's manhood.

[SIV]

The host has disabled reader comments.

Chicken shits

[Fist of Etiquette]

The reader comments are differently abled.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Chu is the "designated survivor"? Heh.

[Sudden]

Between this thread and the Dorner thread, I prefer the Dorner thread. Although I would prefer this thread if it resulted in the house being burned down here.

[brlfq]

Is anyone here actually reading the tweets? Are we cheating?

[Anonymous Coward]

I see all of the elected mandarins are present for the Speech from the Throne, including Loathsome Lindsay Graham, "Sleazy-E" Eric Holder, John "Massachusetts Favorite Idiot Son" Kerry, Gabrielle "Voted Most Likely to Be a Gun Control Prop" Giffords, and Joe "Big Balls" Biden.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I hear the group sex at the SOTU afterparty is tops.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd sooner cut it off than let Janet Napolitano have a taste.

[Bam!]

Kid gets shot and his/her mother gets the gift of being used as a political prop.

[Rich]

Oh, she probably gets refreshments, too.

[Rich]

Just watched Nick and Paul Butler kick Asa Hutchinson's ass in a drug legalization debate!

I now look forward to the commentariat mocking O's platitudes.

[brlfq]

Anyone else see that large black guy in the balcony?

[SweatingGin]

Was it Chris Dorner?

[Rich]

Nice.

[bmp1701]

You know what other large black guy was on a balcony?

[Rich]

King Kong?

[Francisco d Anconia]

Juliet's body guard?

[cavalier973]

Chet Awesomelazer?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Prince Jackson?

[brlfq]

Huh. Now he's gone. Must have been my

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

HAVE THEY MADE FUN OF NUGENT YET?!?

[bmp1701]

Nugent makes fun of himself through his very existence. But "Wang, Dang, Sweet Poontang" is probably more intellectually coherent than the SOTU address.

[db]

Seriously? I'm not much of a sports fan, but I don't think you can get more Olympic than Greco-Roman wrestling.

http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/w.....s-18480501

[EnemyOfTheState]

LET THE [drinking] GAMES BEGIN!!!

[SweatingGin]

I'm three negronis in. about to make #4

[bmp1701]

Straight Tanqueray for me.

[SweatingGin]

"now I understand everyone's shits emotional right now..."

[brlfq]

Urge to barf rising...

[Francisco d Anconia]

That's it. I'm done.

[brlfq]

Hold the door.

[Anonymous Coward]

My God, why does Boehner always look like such a sad, sorry, sack of shit?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Oui

[jesse.in.mb]

I'm just gonna assume that was rhetorical.

[Bam!]

He starts off with a lie: The purpose of the Constitution is to make the branches rivals for power.

[General Butt Naked]

Troops: Still brave, still coming home

what the fuck ever dude

blame bush asshole

[SweatingGin]

it'll be great, we're heading for a summer of recovery! green chutes everywhere!

[Rich]

"Now, for some cherry-picked pseudo-statistics."

[Rich]

"Now, for some cherry-picked pseudo-statistics."

[Anonymous Coward]

First lie of the evening:

The state of our union is stronger.

[Sudden]

The Unions and the State are strong. It's really just about dyslexia.

[General Butt Naked]

More people than ever are on foodstamps!

We are winning!

[Sudden]

ITS TEH KORPURASHUNZ FAULTZ!!1!!1!!!!!!1!1!!!

[General Butt Naked]

PROFITS!!!

[General Butt Naked]

Class WAR.

Oh, fuck he's going all (more) socialist on us

[Tonio]

The state of union is strong. DRINK!

Corporate profits at an all-time high. Like that's a bad thing?

[Sudden]

Not exactly all time highs in inflation adjusted real terms (or even in nominal terms I don't think).

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Thank God for hockey

[Rich]

"The state of our union is strongER."

Gee, Sir, that's great, I guess.

[General Butt Naked]

You can get ahead if you work hard.

No, that's not how it works, fuckstick.

[SIV]

Ezra Klein and Dave Weigel are in the mix. Consider it a twitter cocktail party.

[General Butt Naked]

how do people clap to platitudes?

Yeah! Bullshit!

[Bam!]

America moves forward when the government gets out of the way.

[General Butt Naked]

MOAR SPENDING!

2.5 imaginary trillion dollars

1%

[Anonymous Coward]

"Fewer people are able to find full-time work."

Might that have anything to do with the newly added insurance expense associated with making employees full-time?

[Sudden]

Oh the bullshit, it burns.

$2.5 trillion deficit reduction? Does anyone actually believe these fucking lies?!?!?

[Bam!]

He just threaten to finish the job.

[General Butt Naked]

Citation please.

[SweatingGin]

These cuts are a really bad idea, which is why I threatened to veto repeals of them in november.

[General Butt Naked]

Job training?

What the fuck does that even mean?

[Anonymous Coward]

It means the re-education camps will be voluntary, at first. Then counterrevolutionaries and domestic terrorists will be sentenced there by high-ranking administration officials with access to the "kill list", I mean, "disposition matrix."

[General Butt Naked]

RICH!!

EAT THEM!

Yeah, keep killing job makers you mendacious fuck.

[Tonio]

Wuz we just othered?

[Anonymous Coward]

Obama was for the Budget Control Act (and sequestration) before he was against.

[SIV]

Michelle Malkin. I guess the twitter pool is going "fair n' balanced".

[Tonio]

Bipartisan = moar better arse-fecking!

[General Butt Naked]

Where are all these fucking savings?

We hear it year in and year out, but shit keeps going up.

You can't tax your way out of this, asshole.

[EnemyOfTheState]

Obamacare helping slow the growth of health care costs? DOUBLE SHOT

[Francisco d Anconia]

We can't cut our way to prosperity.

And we can spend our way to prosperity?

What a maroon.

[Tonio]

No, we shouldn't make promised we can't keep.

[heller]

We have to keep the promises we make, but following through with sequestration would be bad mkay?

[General Butt Naked]

Ooooh, bipartisan entitlement support. This is going to be awesome.

[Rich]

Evil *and* stupid!

[Rich]

"We cannot violate the guarantee of a secure retirement."

Uh, say *what*?

[Sudden]

And note how when he said "we'll keep the promises we already made" every one in the GOP stood up for the appluase.

We. Are. Doomed.

[SIV]

Shikha is all lame snark about Pelosi botox and Boehner crying.

[Anonymous Coward]

If it's not about Detroit or India, don't expect much from Shikha.

[Tonio]

So, vastly simplified tax code?

[Bam!]

You think the tax code is complicated now, just wait until they "simplify" it.

[General Butt Naked]

SEXCRATERIES don't fucking hire anyone dumbass.

[Bam!]

They're standing up for that? It was a string of platitudes.

[brlfq]

They're standing for all of us!

[General Butt Naked]

Says the king of manufactured crises.

[Rich]

This is horrible.

[Tonio]

Liver...on...the...ropes...

[SweatingGin]

I'll definitely be wearing "eau de juniper" tomorrow.

[Sudden]

I turned it off the second he alluded to that pernicious fucking Warren Buffet lie. Berkshire Hathaway pays a 35% corporate income tax, anything he takes out as a dividend is then taxed at 15%. He only pays himself a salary of $500k because with his P/E ratio, his real net worth remains much higher for not taking money out. For every $1 he pays himself, he loses $7 in share price.

[Bam!]

NetJets, a Warren Buffet company, spent $2 million lobbying for a tax cut on private jets.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Is it just me, or does Joe have the most punchable face in the world?

[Rich]

You wouldn't hit a guy chewing on glasses, would you?

[Francisco d Anconia]

Twice

[General Butt Naked]

We pay our bills*!

*by borrowing

[Anonymous Coward]

This guy isn't giving a State of the Union address, he's making a stump speech.

The campaign is over, Barry. You won. Now try governing.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

He's been campaigning for 6-7 years now. It's the thing he's least bad at.

[Anonymous Coward]

Obama's new slogan appears to be "Let's Get It Done."

Does he potentially owe Larry the Cable Guy money for infringing on "Git'er Done"?

[General Butt Naked]

BOOOOSH!

[Tonio]

Uh, yes it is.

[General Butt Naked]

Independent economists that were coincidentally blowing me under my desk.

KRUGNUTZ!

[Tonio]

Smarter.

[Bam!]

If we don't need a bigger government, why are you proposing to grow it?

[Rich]

Again with the "single dime" crap.

I say: Drink!

[Francisco d Anconia]

Sit down Tester, you fat asshole.

[General Butt Naked]

He wants a smarter government?

A smart government would know that it couldn't do all the shit he proposes successfully.

[SweatingGin]

I'm pretty sure he practiced saying "UHMERICCA" in a redneck accent.

[Rich]

"Get 'er done!"

[Bam!]

Revolutionary how we make everything -- including guns!

[Tonio]

Why, yes, 3D printing does have revolutionary implications.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Hey guys,

I think my liver just failed. Please fedex me a new one ASAP

[SweatingGin]

I'll 3d print one. Or two.

[Sudden]

Thanks to a recent Christmas gift I got my father (genetic test through 23andme) I now know that I have a genetic resistance to cirrhosis.

But even I ain't risking it tonight.

[General Butt Naked]

3-D printing will also be a go around for your gun grabbing ways.

[Tonio]

Git 'er done!

[SweatingGin]

Well, just did a massive troll of liberal friends on twitter with the 3d printing one. I'm assuming I'll be persona-non-grata/added to the OFA re-education lists.

[Tonio]

Just maintain enough proggie contacts that someone will get you into one of the better re-ed camps.

[SweatingGin]

++

[General Butt Naked]

Why manufacturing?

Why?

I just don't get it. Let's spend billions on education so that someone can screw the same part in an iphone all day.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

why do you hate blue collar, salt of the earth jobs?

[Tonio]

Hey, could be robotics or other leading-edge. Machine tools always a good bet.

[Sudden]

What the fuck else are you gonna do with a Pre-Columbian Chicano Studies degree?

[Tonio]

Another huge gummint program, but no cool moonshots.

Energy...the next frontier.

[General Butt Naked]

Really?

After all the energy fucking boondoggles in this administration, he still wants more money?

[Tonio]

Stop teh glowball worming nao~!

[SweatingGin]

Before the astroids from global warming kill us!

[Tonio]

Huh, huh huh, you said 'roid.

[Anonymous Coward]

Dangerous carbon pollution!

OH NOEZ!

[General Butt Naked]

The president is made of carbon (i think) he should start by recycling himself.

[Sudden]

Everytime he exhales a word, it is dangerous. So maybe he's onto something about carbon dioxide...

[Francisco d Anconia]

Doubled the distance a car can go on a gallon of gas...

...and quadrupled the price of said cars in doing so.

[SIV]

How the fuck did we double gas mileage? Is he bragging about the fucking CAFE standards?

[Bam!]

From what I've read, cars have become 60% more efficient since 1980, but it was eaten up by government regulations, like mandatory crumple zones.

[General Butt Naked]

I like warm weather dipshit.

It's fucking cold here.

Fuck yo climate!

[Bam!]

Science is a living entity capable of making judgments

[Rich]

False dichotomy on climate change -- Drink!

[SweatingGin]

I gave up on making a game of it, I'm just drinking.

[Francisco d Anconia]

BULLSHIT!

Fucking lying POS!

AGW! AGW!

[Anonymous Coward]

"If Congress doesn't come up with a solution, I will."

What happened to that shit he just said about not branches of government not competing but cooperating? Cooperate with me, or fuck you?

[Francisco d Anconia]

God, what an arrogant prick!

[Rich]

Cooperate with me, or fuck you

Ah, a true dichotomy. 8-(

[General Butt Naked]

Is there anything the government can't do?!

Let's do it!

[Anonymous Coward]

High speed rail!

Choo-choos for everyone!

[Francisco d Anconia]

High speed rail!

DRINK!

[Tonio]

A state with confiscatory taxes and business-killing regulations, or Nevada?

[Bam!]

So the companies that outsource to India are doing so because of their non-broken roads -- Or something.

[General Butt Naked]

Dude, they don't come here because we don't have TRAINS, it's because of onerous taxes and regulations.

Is there really some global firm out there that won't come here until we paint some bridges? If there is, fuck yo bridges.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

You guys seem surprised for some reason.

[General Butt Naked]

Who seems surprised?

[General Butt Naked]

I think this speech was written by copy and pasting random HuffPo comments.

Jesus. I've never seen it this bad, and I thought the mushroom cloud shit of the bush years was bad; Obama makes bush look like Thomas Jefferson.

[Bam!]

Bets: How much of this will happen in four years? I'll bet exactly zero.

[Otisjay]

We can only hope

[Sudden]

This guy has spewed the exact same crap for four plus years now. How can anyone actually think that there is any promise to it given it's abysmal failure thus far?

[Tonio]

Universal Pre-K.

Children hit hardest!

Bet that mandate is unfunded.

[bmp1701]

World to end. Women and minorities to be hit hardest.

[sloopyinca]

I've been out for a while. What the fuck is this "State Of The Union" they're talking about? Does it have anything to do with the AFSCME?

[Tonio]

You are a punk-ass bitch, sloop. Keep up the good work.

[EnemyOfTheState]

Sir, I envy you right now.

[Anonymous Coward]

TEH CRUMBLING INFROSTRUCTURE!

Definition of "Structurally deficient bridge" (courtesy of IowaDOT):

The fact that a bridge is classified under the federal definition as "structurally deficient" does not imply that it is unsafe. A structurally deficient bridge, when left open to traffic, typically requires significant maintenance and repair to remain in service and eventual rehabilitation or replacement to address deficiencies. To remain in service, structurally deficient bridges are often posted with weight limits to restrict the gross weight of vehicles using the bridges to less than the maximum weight typically allowed by statute.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Maybe he meant "assault bridge"?

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe Seth MacFarlane's martini-sipping manatees wrote this drivel Barry calls a speech?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Oh. My. God. He dropped the pre-school bomb shell.

That won't do jack shit. I know, I'm in education.

More free crap.

[Tonio]

I was first. Nyah, nyah.

[Sudden]

Just expanding the ranks and reaches of the govt employment rolls.

[General Butt Naked]

Let's give our kids lsd, fuck if it'll help this sinking ship.

[brlfq]

I've been reading the tweets. If sarcasm = electoral votes, Gary Johnson would be making this speech.

[EnemyOfTheState]

"Degree in Computers or Engineering" how fucking vague can you get

[Archduke Pantsfan]

More MCSE!

[strat]

MCSE = Must Consult Someone Experienced
MCSE+I = " " " " Immediately

[Sudden]

He thinks those are finite fields of study. I majored in PoliSci myself. I know the way they think.

Shows you how brain dead he really is.

[Bam!]

"The Room" RiffTrax: That's right, Lisa works in "the computer industry."

[Francisco d Anconia]

I know my life was ruined because I didn't go to preschool.

Oh, a new government program. That will bring down the debt.

[General Butt Naked]

ZE GERMANS!!

Oooh, an associates degree in computers. Maybe I could get a job in the Obama Screen Door factory of america.

[Tonio]

Redesign the schools. Oh. Fuck. This is going to cost us.

[Sudden]

Two teachers to every kid!

[Tonio]

Traditional college is increasingly irrelevant.

High-Ed takeover?

[Tonio]

Yup.

[Sudden]

The following institutions will be immediately shut down once federal takeover occurs:

George Mason
Hillsdale

He'd be Article 58ing the fuck outta this country if he could.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Looks like I picked the right year to get out of academia...

[EnemyOfTheState]

Unfortunately I have just spent 3 years (4 semesters) and $$$$$ in government debt to find out college is a sham (especially in the 'computer field'). I learn more reading in 2 hours than I do in a whole semester course...fuck you public education

[DesigNate]

I stupidly chose a field where the government deigned that I should have a master's degree to actually practice what I've basically been doing for 10+ years. Don't feel too bad.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Why do any colleges get federal aid?

[General Butt Naked]

Let's fund colleges and make them take more people for free, it'll work GREAT!

Economists (that are blowing the president) agree.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

College graduates make more money than high school dropouts. Therefore, if everyone has a college degree our GDP will go up.

[General Butt Naked]

QED

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

GED

[Rich]

"A college scorecard."

I can hardly wait 'til tomorrow.

[Sudden]

"A college scorecard"

I believe Jerry Sandusky had one posted in his office at Penn State...

[Francisco d Anconia]

Tey er tekin ar jerbs!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Every dollar spent on ECE pays itself back 7 times!
Obama said!

[General Butt Naked]

"Immigration reform"

--freak out

what the fuck was that all about?

[brlfq]

Never have so many tweeted so much for so little.

[Tonio]

Uh, illegal immigration is already going down, but jobs program noted.

[Tonio]

Boots, boots, boots, boots...

[General Butt Naked]

Back of the line?

Jesus that is some racist shit, asshole.

[HazelMeade]

Is it over yet?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Beyonce is warming up for halftime

[Tonio]

It ain't over til it's over.

[Sudden]

The republic, yes.

The speech, sadly no.

[HazelMeade]

Jesus fuck, it's 9:50 PM. How long has it been going on for?

[General Butt Naked]

Hiring foreign engineers creates jobs?

What fucking world does this ass live in.

[General Butt Naked]

Dude, Biden got fuckin' punched. he's got a broken blood vessel.

[Bam!]

What's the silver drink holder in front of John? Looks like some sort of alcohol paraphernalia.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Here it comes. Raise min wage.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Why not $100 dollars an hour!

[Francisco d Anconia]

$9.00/ hour? Why not $50.00?

[cavalier973]

If we raised the minimum wage to $100,000 an hour, then everyone could buy a mansion after just a few hours' work. It's brilliant!

[General Butt Naked]

You shouldn't be havin fucking kids if you're making minimum wage.

How about that?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Why do you hate women

[General Butt Naked]

Cause they take they're fucking screaming tax sinks everywhere, and bug the shit out of me.

[Tonio]

You monster.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

I had no idea you were a eugenicist.

[Alack]

How about, "If you're making minimum wage and decide to have kids, good luck out there on your own, Einstein"? Is that more acceptable?

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Now you're just social Darwinist.

[Alack]

I think I'm okay with that.

[Heroic Mulatto]

ZOMG! It's not a decision!!! The babies magically appear in the single minimum wage-earning mom's wombs because RAPE CULTURE!

[Rich]

Oh, just make the minimum wage $100/hr and be done with it!

[General Butt Naked]

Fuck that, mr. Hitler.

We should go to $1000 bucks an hour.

[Bam!]

It will mean the difference between rent and eviction, but not for the reason he thinks.

[Tonio]

Living wage tied to cost of living.

Inflation forever.

[SweatingGin]

It'll go faster, at least.

[Slammer]

Holy shit the huffpo's picture of the King in the rain is fucking weird

[General Butt Naked]

Cost of living goes up because employees cost more, so minimum wage goes up then the cost of living goes up because employees cost more...

[Anonymous Coward]

"Let's tie the minimum wage to the cost of living."

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, is this motherfucker just a complete economic illiterate? Or is he just preaching to the dumbfuck Team Blue choir?

[Rich]

Another false dichotomy -- Drink!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

it's about feeling and emotion

[HazelMeade]

Complete economic illiterate.
Is this even a question?

[DesigNate]

Yes

[Tonio]

Shared misery.

[Tonio]

Defeating the core. Now there's a well-defined goal.

[General Butt Naked]

We are safe because we spend billions defeating imaginary enemies.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Remember:

ROMNEY WOULD HAVE DONE IT TOO!!!!!!1!!!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

yeah, but faster

[General Butt Naked]

Yup, and that's what sux. No choice.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

I don't think so.

Romney would have given the most pro-liberty State of the Union address since the Teleprompter was invented.

[Alack]

I'm sure he would have only been differently shitty. The only thing good about his platform was his tax reform, and that never would've made it through Congress.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

And, you know, the lack of support for gun control.

[Alack]

O didn't make gun control a part of his platform either, if I recall, but being a Dem did sort of imply it.

[Calidissident]

BWAHAHAHAHA

[Tonio]

Hopefully all will come home alive and safe.

[General Butt Naked]

....So we can start a new war.

I'm looking at you Iran!

[General Butt Naked]

Called it.

[Tonio]

Norks and Malians crying they weren't invited to prom.

[Bam!]

Our soldiers will come home, but our drones will fly continuously, around the world and at home.

[Tonio]

So is it the core or the remnants?

"Evolving". Happy Darwin day.

[HazelMeade]

I'm going to bed. I was hoping this would be over by now.

[Tonio]

'Night.

[Francisco d Anconia]

night

[Anonymous Coward]

"We'll to help countries like Yemen, Libya, and Somalia"

...with drones.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

I guess we can't move to Somalia anymore.

[Anonymous Coward]

Why not? If you don't have anything to hide, then you have nothing to fear from Emperor Barry's Star Chamber of Drone Justice.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., er, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children.

[Killazontherun]

Best Barry O imitation I have ever laid eyes on.

[General Butt Naked]

Are our values murder?

Cause you seem to love murdering people.

[Rich]

"Even more transparent".

Words fail.

[Bam!]

This sounds like a speech crafted by running Mark V. Shaney over New York Time op-ed pages.

[Rich]

Excellent observation.

[General Butt Naked]

This guy is such a fucking joke.

This isn't even close to a state of the union address; it's barely even a badly produced campaign ad.

[SweatingGin]

cyber defense executive order today? I didn't here anything about it -- was it secret or something?

[Anonymous Coward]

The most transparent administration in history can neither confirm nor deny the existence of an executive order that may or may not have been signed today concering so-called cyber defense.

[Tonio]

Intel sharing. Except it's not quite legal yet.

[Sudden]

Same fucking talking points we've been subjected to for four years already. Nothing changes, except I become less tolerant to stupidity and more tolerant to booze.

[Alack]

Glad I started drinking early. This is the dumbest SotU I've bothered listening to, which is amazing because it's exactly the same as all the other ones too.

[General Butt Naked]

Yeah, let's give gov. control over the internet...

for safety...

...from hackers, or something.

They'll not give up until this country is bloodily torn apart.

[Rich]

Define "empowering" exactly.

[Bam!]

Now he wants to be president of the fucking world. (And sounding a little like Patrick Bateman when he was at the restaurant talking to his yuppie friends.)

[Tonio]

All things to all people.

[Tonio]

What are these universal rights?

[Alack]

Mandatory health insurance and legal abortion. All other rights are negotiable.

[Bill Dalasio]

Did Obama just say he wanted our country to be like Myanmar?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes. Yes he did.

[Bill Dalasio]

FRIGGING MYANMAR?!?! The guy says he wants America to resemble one of the world's most backward shitholes and the Republicans are too chickenshit to nail him on THAT?!?!

[SIV]

I usually try and endure these for historical purposes but I couldn't stand it anymore so I cooked a hamburger. The cheapest kind they had at the store which costs almost to the penny per pound as a gallon of gas.
Around $3.85. Thanks ethanol mandates and subsidies! And thank Ben Bernanke too.

[Sudden]

I got a whopper the other day. Fucking $5, for just the damn whopper. I barely ever get fast food, much less BK, so I didn't realize how costly that had become. I actually even repeated to the drive thru machine "no, not the combo, just the burger." Couldn't believe it. Those things were like $1.79 a few years ago.

[SIV]

The weird thing is USDA Choice NY strips, T-bones and ribeyes still go on sale for $7-9 a lb but chuck roasts cost $5 a lb and short ribs $8.

[General Butt Naked]

If you watch this and are inspired or nodding in agreement, please end your life.

[General Butt Naked]

Ooooh, another middle east speech!

Remember how well that worked before.

And TROOPS!

[Bam!]

How could women have proven themselves capable of combat if they've never been in combat?

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Manti Te'o's girlfriend was in combat.

[Alack]

By being human beings with the same rights and abilities as any man, you chauvinist.

[Greg]

Haven't you ever watched American Gladiators?

[General Butt Naked]

DAAAANG, Boner hates the troops.

you see that?

[Somalian Road Corporation]

I remember near the end of Bush's presidency I thought: "Ugh, fuck, it's almost over. The next guy will have to put in some real overtime to be worse."

Hyuk hyuk hyuk. Joke's on us.

[Bam!]

I think all presidents elected by popular vote have probably been this stupid, only now the office has dramatically more power.

[SIV]

Did I miss all the "gun safety" shit?

[SweatingGin]

Here it comes!

[SIV]

It's all I'm here for. Well that and making subtle insinuations of thinly-disguised cosmotarianism in the twit-stream.

[Tonio]

I've written grocery lists with better narrative structure.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

And, I imagine, a more complex vocabulary.

[SIV]

FUCK!

[SIV]

(Voting as the most fundamental right)

[Paul.]

I'm late to the SOBA, he say anything profound?

[Alack]

SOBA? I was thinking SoBE: State of Barack's Ego.

[Paul.]

State Of Brack Obama.

[Alack]

Can it be "Rex Barack Obama"? That implies he is a king AND makes the acronym "SoRBO" for all of the Hercules buffs out there.

[cavalier973]

"Brack"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....ults_video

[cavalier973]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....oY09PYqkCv

[cavalier973]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....oY09PYqkCv

[Greg]

God Brak would be such a huge improvement over Barack. My favourite Brak scene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5mVNRsedbY

[Paul.]

To be fair, it's not Barack Obama anymore, it's The Barack Obama, but SOTBA doesn't really ring.

Maybe SOTO, State Of The Obama.

Gonna have to run it by a few people.

[Tonio]

Improve the voting experience. Which ain't broke, really.

[Paul.]

It's not the voting experience that's the problem, it's the feeling after...

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

My voting experience was having a bunch of assholes I didn't vote for win the election. Improve that.

[Paul.]

Welcome to libertarianism.

[Alack]

SOlution: start voting for the assholes, and enjoy your new partisan outlook!

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Is this code for "asking for ID to prevent voter fraud is just, like too hard and stuff"?

[Paul.]

Where Welch and Cavanaugh at?

[SIV]

Cav only gets to write occasional book reviews for the print edition now.

[Paul.]

No, I mean, "Where he at?"

Is he at home? Is he buying groceries? Like, what's he doing, right now.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Like, what's he doing, right now.

There is a 97.999% probability that wherever he is, he is bloviating on some topic of which he knows absolutely nothing about.

[Paul.]

I'm not talking about the President.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Cavanaugh for President*!

*Of the Hair Club for Men

[General Butt Naked]

gun control

[General Butt Naked]

called it, what a fuck

I got yer common sense reform right here!

*grabs crotch, shakes vigorously*

[Alack]

Anyone who disagrees lacks common sense. Good thing he's here to tell it like it is for us plebes.

[Bam!]

Here it comes. Grab your guns or he will.

[Tonio]

Teh chirrunz!

[Anonymous Coward]

Waiting to vote is unAmerican!

Assuming your vote matters, which, if you don't line up with either TEAM, your vote counts for shit.

P.S. here comes TEH GUN VIOLENZ.

[Francisco d Anconia]

GUUUUNNNNNZZZZ!

[SIV]

Good ol' Jake rumbles the gaffe.

Jacob Sullum@jacobsullum
I'm going to need another cocktail. #SOTU

[Rich]

"What I say tonight matters little."

At last!

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

He's trying to channel the Gettysburg address.

[Alack]

Did the Gettysburg address also sound like a series of dead horses being flogged?

[cavalier973]

"The Gettysburg speech was at once the shortest and the most famous oration in American history...the highest emotion reduced to a few poetical phrases. Lincoln himself never even remotely approached it. It is genuinely stupendous. But let us not forget that it is poetry, not logic; beauty, not sense. Think of the argument in it. Put it into the cold words of everyday. The doctrine is simply this: that the Union soldiers who died at Gettysburg sacrificed their lives to the cause of self-determination ? that government of the people, by the people, for the people, should not perish from the earth. It is difficult to imagine anything more untrue. The Union soldiers in the battle actually fought against self-determination; it was the Confederates who fought for the right of their people to govern themselves."

~H.L. Mencken

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Barf. Just lost a lot of respect for Mencken. The Confederates were fighting for slavery, which is the most polar opposite of self-determination imaginable.

[cavalier973]

The Confederates would not have been fighting at all had they not been invaded.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

The Confeds started the war by firing on Union forts.

[cavalier973]

Lincoln started the war by trying to garrison a fort in Charleston Harbor for the purpose of collecting tribute from the seceded nation. I direct you to his first inaugural address, in which he clearly states that the only reason for bloodshed (re: war) is the refusal of the seceded states to collect the taxes for the federal government. Not slavery, not even secession, but taxes.

[Tonio]

Common sense. DRINK!

[SweatingGin]

And the dead former LA COP/NAVY guy believes in these proposals, too!

[General Butt Naked]

Fuck the police, and fuck you.

molon labe

[Rich]

"Get ammunition magazines off the streets."

The mask slips.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Where are these magazines laying around on the streets? I could use some.

GTA is not the real world, Mr President.

[Tonio]

Stolen...by an inanimate object, not an evil human.

[Francisco d Anconia]

No they fucking DON'T deserve a vote.

SECOND AMENDMENT BITCH!

[SweatingGin]

Holy shit, about 14 red state dem senators are shitting their pants at this.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

They do deserve a vote. 99-1 and 434-1.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

the children!

[General Butt Naked]

I like guns and shootin' shit.

So what.

She was killed in the place with the most restrictive gun laws.

[Alack]

That can't be right. Gun laws prevent gun deaths. You must be mistaken.

[SweatingGin]

how could that be? handguns are illegal in Chicao?

[Eduard van Haalen]

I know someone - an Obama voter - who said she'd switch back and forth between the SOTU and the Westminister Dog Show, with emphasis on the latter.

[General Butt Naked]

My rights aren't up to a vote.

[Paul.]

Democracy disagrees.

[Tonio]

^This

[Bam!]

They have a vote, you moron.

[Tonio]

They already have votes...you mean they deserve a veto on our rights.

[General Butt Naked]

And gabby robotically claps on.

[SIV]

Jelly beans are better than the cattle prod.

[Anonymous Coward]

Background checks count for shit in stopping criminals because criminals rarely walk into gun stores or gun shows to buy firearms.

And the police in America have never been outgunned. They've been outshot, but that's because most cops can't shoot for shit anyway.

And Obama stands on the corpses of the dead. FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

[Alack]

Then we just need more laws to make sure criminals go through the proper, monitored channels. Once we can watch everyone's transactions, our laws will be effective and we will be safe.

[lap83]

Skipped the State of the Union, I had my share of self-important liberal claptrap today as I heard a talk by a lady who was a daughter of one of the Brown v Board plaintiffs (extra credit assignment for a history class I'm taking)

The highlight, she compares a color-coded USA map showing segregation laws prior to the 14th amendment with a map of the 2008 election results then says "This shows the north may have won, but the ideology still prevails"

Yeah, because McCain's whole platform was on returning segregation to schools. She was just offensive.

[Paul.]

I thought that was Romney's platform?

[lap83]

That and birthing/rape camps.

[Heroic Mulatto]

The highlight, she compares a color-coded USA map showing segregation laws prior to the 14th amendment with a map of the 2008 election results then says "This shows the north may have won, but the ideology still prevails

Which is why, of course, the most virulently racist protests against forced busing occurred in Boston.

[lap83]

it was weird, she would alternate between "Yay! We outlawed racism!" and "GRR! Why were people still being racist?" without realizing the insanity of praising something that doesn't do what you want it to.

She concluded with something along the lines of... "sometimes, I notice that people are still racist with me *inserts anecdote from 40 years ago* therefore we need more laws"

[jesse.in.mb]

A friend of mine in HS was convinced that Bush wasn't going to renew the constitutional amendment allowing blacks to vote. We were all really confused and when we explained that wasn't how constitutional amendments worked she screamed "that's just what I believe" and stormed out.

[Some call me Tim?]

...Did she really say "prior to the 14th amendment?" because that's somewhat irrelevant since segregation was an issue AFTER the passage of the 14th amendment.

[lap83]

It was a map showing the different segregation laws by state.

[General Butt Naked]

"I want to take your rights away and murder you..."

*anecdotes and platitudes*

*WILD APPLAUSE*

[Paul.]

Welch finally got out of the bathroom.

[Bam!]

What the hell is he rambling on about now?

[Francisco d Anconia]

No law will make a difference, but lets take away people's rights so we can all feel good about ourselves.

Fucking idiot!

[Tonio]

That was long but lacking in substance.

[Tonio]

Oops, not you Francis.

[General Butt Naked]

She should of waited for a new fucking wig, shit looks nasty.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

In case you forgot, you're a truly disgusting creature. All of you.

[General Butt Naked]

You know you laughed.

I don't care if a motherfucker is 200 years old, if they vote to infringe my rights they can eat a bag of seeping dicks all day long.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

You can take my seeping dick from my cold dead hands.

Notice the plural.

[Paul.]

Thinking about fondling my 13 round mag... right... now...

[Paul.]

But, if you (successfully) disarm people, how are they supposed to "fight back"?

Tucille is finally getting it. Lightbulb going on.

[General Butt Naked]

"We are citizens, now get in the cell citizen..."

My rights are wrapped up in my existing motherfucker.

[Bam!]

Future generations have obligations to the present thanks to you, Mr. President.

[General Butt Naked]

Finally.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

ITS OVER

[Archduke Pantsfan]

There's gonna be one hell of an after party.

[General Butt Naked]

Boner is gonna vomit mint julips all over nancy pelosi's tattered, flat tits.

Epic.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Boehner's look...

Are you fucking shitting me?

[General Butt Naked]

Where do I see Rand at?

I don't have cable, anyone know?

[General Butt Naked]

the NBC pundits are creaming their jeans over the deserve a vote thing.

jesus, at least pretend objectivity.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What was the over/under on Michelle eating one of the people sitting next to her? Boehner looked like he wanted to vomit on Obama.

[Tonio]

And the Elks Auxiliary vomited on the Elks...

[Anonymous Coward]

"Well into our third century as a nation..."

Wasn't the United States of America created in 1776?

2012-1776=236?

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

And the fencepost error takes another victim.

[Paul.]

Stay on your side of the fencepost.

[Anonymous Coward]

It did, but I have an excuse. I started drinking about an hour before this farce of a speech began.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

0-100 = 1ST Cent
100-200 = 2nd
200-300 = 3rd

[Tonio]

0-99, 100-199, 200-299, but yeah.

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I done DERPed. Apologies to all relevant parties.

[EnemyOfTheState]

The miracles of public education

[Tonio]

Heh.

[Some call me Tim?]

0-100=First century
101-200=Second Century
201-300=Third Century...which is where we are.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

First century was 1-100, there was no 0

[Some call me Tim?]

Uhhh Zero was the year of Christ's birth...you should pay better attention in Sunday School.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

7 BC is actually the best estimate going by what the gospel of Matthew says.

[Paul.]

What're the years 6 BC to 1 BC called? Or do they just revise Jesus' age up by 7 years? Serial question.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

ref

[Tonio]

Uh, yeah, sure, whatever, Tulp.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

King Herod died in 4 BC so it can't possibly be any later than that, as he told the wise men to go to Bethlehem in Matthew's gospel.

[Tonio]

Your age at birth is not age 1; it's age zero. HTH.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

You are in your first year at birth. not your 0th year.
hth

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

cardinals vs ordinals, fencepost errors, this is the gift that keeps on grabbing.

[Tonio]

Yes, cardinal vs. ordinal.

[Heroic Mulatto]

1,000,000,000 Chinese disagree with you, Tonio.

As would many other Asians, and the Romans for that matter.

It's the difference between an inclusive vs. exclusive counting system.

[Tonio]

Fuck 'em.

USA, USA, USA...

Besides, teh Romans didn't understand the holy Zero.

[Heroic Mulatto]

That's not quite true. The Romans didn't use a zero as a holder for place value, but they understood the concept of "nothing" when counting.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Well, if you don't have negative numbers, which were used only in India and China at the time, the idea of zero as a number doesn't have much practical value.

[Paul.]

It's OK, we programmers of yore got burned by fencepost errors all the time, because in programming, sometimes the fencepost moves.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Yep, you learn about things like this when you go to college for computers or engineering.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

BUT WHAT DOES RACHEL MADDOW THINK

[Alack]

Trick question! She doesn't!

[SIV]

That was painful

[Paul.]

1/2 What with all the rights wrapped up in the other rights, it's hard to tell what rights we are violating by insisting on other rights....

It's rights all the way down.

[brlfq]

This just in: Dorner still dead.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

or that's what they want you to think!

[Rich]

He's already being tossed in with bin Laden.

[wakeup]

you're stealing my lines

[Paul.]

Either that or the paper boy got it good and hard.

[SIV]

Some ABC analyst is saying Obama killed it on gun control. The Gettysburg Address got nothin' on that soaring oratory.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Interesting phrasing

[General Butt Naked]

Where's Rand?

Motherfucker better deliver, that speech deserves condemnation in the strongest of words.

Who am I kidding?

It'll be all, "Please vote for us, mexicans, pwetty pwetty pwease!"

[Bam!]

Mark Rubio wants Mexican votes so badly he has a pre-recorded Spanish language rebuttal.

[Paul.]

Jessica Yellin reports administration officials refused to put a price tag on the president's new proposals tonight.

They don't want to limit themselves.

[Gannicus]

You guys didn't actually watch that shit did you? I got all I needed to know from reading the Reason live blog of it.

[Bam!]

Fox News is using Bing? Seriously?

[Paul.]

MSNBC doesn't even use Bing.

[General Butt Naked]

Rubio looks like a deer in the headlights.

[EnemyOfTheState]

I guess its kind of hard to respond to an Obama speech when you will get crucified for telling the truth (it was all lies).

[General Butt Naked]

Oh, make it about abortion, that's a winner for sure.

[Paul.]

Making it about the Jews doesn't work like it used to.

[General Butt Naked]

Here's a link to Rand's rebuttal when it comes on.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Who is going to give the libertarian response?

[Paul.]

Uh, we just did. SnarkTown, here we come.

[Anonymous Coward]

Is there anyone sober enough or awake to deliver the libertarian response?

[General Butt Naked]

If you can make it through an hour of Obama's speechifying without being drunk, you should have your citizenship revoked.

[Tonio]

[High-fives Paul.]

[Generic Stranger]

I thought that was why reason was live tweeting it?

[wakeup]

Confirmation bias!

LeVar Burton
?@levarburton
I don't care to listen to the post mortum or re-buttle. I know what I heard! #SOTU

[Heroic Mulatto]

And you don't have to take my word for it!

[SweatingGin]

This is the best thing I've seen tonight.

[wakeup]

you missed killaz' gif in the PM links?

[SweatingGin]

Was still at work, I only watched it once through. Back to it now, though, as soon as my wife is asleep.

[SweatingGin]

wow, I never saw a re-buttle on reading rainbow... was it a character from Brazil?

[Tonio]

OMG, C-Span (online) coverage of Rand Paul is open mic and empty podium. SRSLY. I can hear them strategizing in the background. They don't know they're on. "Shit."

[Paul.]

"ok, you distract him, when he looks away, I'll hit him with this"

[Tonio]

That is so unprofessional.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

You need at least an empty chair.

[General Butt Naked]

If you can stay awake through a Rubio speech, Obama will eat the peanuts out of your shit.

Biden told me.

[Bam!]

Give Rubio a sitcom-style applause track.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Rubio would kill on Big Bang Theory.

[Bam!]

Do the Republicans and the Democrats use the same market research firms? Because Rubio sounds eerily similar to Obama.

[Paul.]

Whatever gets you elected...

[Francisco d Anconia]

Flip on C-SPAN2.

Whoda guessed Rubio is bilingual?

Guess that's Team Red reaching out to Latinos.

[Paul.]

Matt Welch@mleewelch

Is a SOTU response the place to go granular/bland on incentivizing local school districts?

"Fuck you, cut spending," won't pass muster on Nat'l TV.

[XM]

Reason reaction to Rubio's response

"I don't like it when a Republican make points that we make. If more low skilled immigrants came in, there would be more Rubios!"

It's ok, Rand and Marco. When libertarians abandon you because you ain't pure enough, I'll still vote for either you. Rand's dad, keep your mouth shut when you're son is running for president. He's more more electable and better looking than you.

[Tonio]

You have dreadful taste in men, XM.

[General Butt Naked]

Rubio needs water to speechify, Obama don't.

PWND!

[SweatingGin]

Done! we're all progressives now!

[General Butt Naked]

Check your privilege.

[Paul.]

Gillespie: Why would anyone borrow $100,000 for college? Why would anyone loan that much?

Not all of us end up in the private sector, Nick. Some of us go into much more lucrative fields.

[VG Zaytsev]

Rubio just did a shot in the middle of his speech.

[SweatingGin]

when he says mineral water, he really means gin.

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh. Rubio just took a hit from the water bottle. I was hoping for a prop od some kind or an empty chair.

[General Butt Naked]

At least a spit-take.

[Tonio]

Government is not the solution to all our problems. Society vs. government. Thank you, Mr. Rubio.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

If more low skilled immigrants came in, there would be more Rubios!

Isn't that an argument against immigration?

[Nuked]

Tried to watch the SOTU, puked in my mouth a bit and ended up turning on Joe Dirt.

[SweatingGin]

Pretty sure you won. Maybe time for a few clips from idiocracy.

[Nuked]

"How exactly is a rainbow made? How exactly does a sun set? How exactly does a posi-trac rear-end on a Plymouth work? How exactly does Obamacare work? It just does."

[Francisco d Anconia]

What channel?

[Bam!]

Happy Gilmore is on AMC.

[Nuked]

Movie Time.. Canadian channel though

[Gannicus]

Poland Springs says "suck it Obama!"

[Paul.]

Song of the day

[wakeup]

Miguel Bloombito
?@ElBloombito
Por favor no take mas than 16 ounceros de un agua break, Se?or Rubio. El ba?o tiene un longo line.

[Gannicus]

Will Rand's speech be televised? And if not, does anyone have a link for it?

[General Butt Naked]

I linked it above. It's not on yet.

[General Butt Naked]

Here.

[Gannicus]

Thank you. May your libertarianism be forever bountiful.

[SweatingGin]

Someone linked this earlier, but nothing on it yet: stream.

[Tonio]

I'm watching on c-span dot org.

[Tonio]

OMG, C-Span online has Rand Paul on the podium being made up. That feed is still live. They don't know they're on. "Can someone give me a hand signal?".

W. T. F?

[Tonio]

OK, they just gave Rand the two-minute warning. He's still live on c-span dot org, but doesn't know it. Someone gonna get fired (not).

[Tonio]

"One minute to air."

[SweatingGin]

At least they didn't say "Burn it down. Burn the house down"

[Tonio]

Thirty seconds. Stop sniffing, Rand.

[General Butt Naked]

David Brooks on PBS saying that the republicans should give people more money to get votes.

Not only that, but that giving people free money is "economic liberty".

[Bam!]

The only time David Brooks meaningfully contributed to a discussion was when he asked Milton Friedman a question and promptly got spanked.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

David Gergen [gt] David Brooks

[General Butt Naked]

They are actually debating on PBS whether or not Dear Leader wants to actually grow government.

"He said he wants smarter government not bigger government" -shortcut to thinking

[General Butt Naked]

Rand is on.

[Tonio]

Rand is finally on on c-span dot org.

[Tonio]

American exceptionalism. Equality. Freedom. Opportunity.

[Killazontherun]

Jesus Christ, look at the home page pic of Obama at the podium. The rumors that drinking the blood of Pakistani children reverses aging is a lie. He looks old as hell. My brother is the same age and doesn't look anything like that.

[Heroic Mulatto]

That's because your brother isn't America's Sin-Eater.

[General Butt Naked]

He needs a new haircut, he looks like on of those "hair club for men" guys.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

No wig comment for the privileged white male. Typical.

[Tonio]

"Government is the problem."

[Tonio]

Marco is a bettor orator than Rand.

[Bam!]

What rebuttal did you watch?

[Tonio]

The one in english.

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Keep in mind that being a good orator has nothing to do with substance.

[Bam!]

True, but substance doesn't always get elected.

[Tonio]

Bam!

[Tonio]

And Marco had a better speech. There Tulpa, are you happy? /speech forensics geek

[Tonio]

Rand is rambling. Disappointing.

[General Butt Naked]

What are all these "facts" and "numbers"? I don't grok. -america

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

UNLEASH THE FACT-CHECKERS!!!!1!!!

[Generic Stranger]

I think we need to call in the "Fact-Finders", because you're going to have to do a lot of searching to find any in Obama's speech. I wonder if they have fact-sniffing dogs...

[SweatingGin]

Wonder if Rand got his haircut at the senate barbershop.

[General Butt Naked]

Nice dig at bipartisanship.

[SweatingGin]

++

[Gannicus]

Rand is kicking ass and taking names.

[Tonio]

Big government debt keeps the poor poor and saps the savings of the elderly.

[SweatingGin]

wow, he sounded a *lot* like his dad with the "you know how many voted for it? Zero!"

Still does, actually.

[General Butt Naked]

I just have the sound on and I thought the same thing.

[General Butt Naked]

Rand has a 5 year plan.

[SweatingGin]

OBAMAPHONES!

[Tonio]

There are lots of clicking and dropouts on Rand's audio (c-span dot org). Anyone watching this anywhere else seeing this?

[Tonio]

"hearing"

[General Butt Naked]

here.

no problems

[Tonio]

OK, now Rand is getting somewhere. Wish he'd have started with this.

[General Butt Naked]

I think he did okay.

[Tonio]

I'll admit that after two prior speeches I was a bit cranky and ready for it all to be over. But still...

[SweatingGin]

I liked his speech, but I have to admit, I was channeling poppa-paul, and about 8 drinks in, so...

[Drake]

Stossel is on Fox Business with Ron Paul.

[Tonio]

Checks and balances...restore liberty.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Maybe.

[MacKlingon]

I just finished watching the Westminster dog show, did I miss anything?

[Francisco d Anconia]

What breed won?

[MacKlingon]

A little black dog named Banana Joe, never heard of the breed, can't spell it anyway. but can google it.

[wakeup]

AFFENPINSCHER

[Drake]

The gayest looking dog in the final group I assume.

[Heroic Mulatto]

The correct term is African-Canine.

Racist.

[MacKlingon]

My dog is black and white....wait a second, I don't want to go there.

[heller]

I was rooting for the Old English Sheepdog. My family is big on Bearded Collies.

[Tonio]

C-span dot org just cut to color bars and tone. That shit was obnoxious. Assholes.

Goodnight, fellow commentatorers.

[Heroic Mulatto]

In Guam, high-powered, military-style assault knife kills 3 and wounds 11.

[SweatingGin]

Would have been way better if rubio's response was this

[Sevo]

Not done yet, I see,

[XM]

Did the GOP pick Rubio over Rand to deliver the party response to Obama's SOTU because

(1) Rand is white, not Latino

(2) Rand's dad is Ron Paul

[Generic Stranger]

Yes?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Six of one and half-a-dozen of the other.

[SweatingGin]

All of the above? Plus the whole easy objectivist jokes thing.

[lap83]

because they're like the nerd trying to be liked by the cool kids who laugh at their pathetic efforts while the other nerds feel betrayed. So they end up just being more awkward and having less friends than they started with.

[wakeup]

LAPD denies news reports that a body has been recovered at Big Bear. CNN hastily removes "fugitive ex cop found dead" on screen.

[jesse.in.mb]

Are we jumping back to the other thread then?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Know what this means?

I'm guessing they killed some poor soul other than Dorner. Perhaps some batshit insane living in the woods survivalist?

[SweatingGin]

This is a resort town, isn't it? Probably just some vacationing union pension state worker.

[Drake]

Damn that would be funny if Donner was watching this from a thousand miles away.

Fox took the story down too - and put up a story about more free hooker trips by Banging Bob Menendez.

[Sevo]

"I'm guessing they killed some poor soul other than Dorner. Perhaps some batshit insane living in the woods survivalist?"

Nope. Not there. Survivalists don't have digs where the starting price is $150K

[Francisco d Anconia]

Both FOX and CNN websites still saying they pulled out a charred body.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Correction. CNN just changed their story to no body yet.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Okay, the headline says no body, but the story says body.

[Almanian!]

Perhaps it was Jesse "The Body"? No?

[Francisco d Anconia]

Why do I bother?

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

IIIIIIIIIIIIII ain't got no body....

[Bill Dalasio]

Again, at risk of sounding like a fanboy, terrific speech by Paul. He came across as the grown up in the room. Obama came across as giving a litany of free shit he'll promise to give away. Rubio, although his heart was in the right place looked like a deer in the headlights. Paul came across as a sensible guy who'd studied the issues and was telling you what was going on. Don't know if this will do much for him, but it solidifies my support.

[JeremyR]

Unfortunately, the only people that even heard that speech were already fans of his.

[Sevo]

Is he done yet?
"Obama: Nation stronger, GOP should back his plans"
Yeah, I'm king and all you subjects need to get in line.
http://www.sfgate.com/news/sci.....270471.php
Asshole

[Guy Laguy]

We should cap wages at $50/hour. Then nobody is excessively rich.

[Bill Dalasio]

I'll add, I think Paul seems to be starting to pick a trick up off of Gary Johnson to begin a very good jujitsu on the Republican Establishment. Rather than, like his dad, letting them cast him as the crazy one, he reverses the crazy.

[Almanian!]

He's all Aikido and shit.

Paul San - HAI!

[Almanian!]

I feel like a really happy Rip Van Winkle. Watched "Justified", played with the dogs, didn't hear a fucking WORD of the SOTU nor the "response".

Now, "Doomsday Preppers"! One I haven't seen before, even.

Fuck this government, fuck the President, fuck Congress, fuck the Federal Bureaucracy, and - no, fuck you - cut spending.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

I'm gonna watch it as soon as the torrents done because it doesn't air in Canada the same night.

[Almanian!]

Ah, yes - the TV exchange rate. Bastards.

Aside from Labatt Blue, the Simon Fraser University Pipe Band (sometown, BC) is the best thing Canada ever exported.

And Mickey Redmond, for us Detroy-it fans. Well, and Natasha Henstridge. And Estella Warren.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

In 2013 where you live shouldn't affect what you can watch.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Gerald McRaney

[juris imprudent]

I am disappoint - I came in after all the speechifying and ya'll are still coherent. At least as coherent as you ever are [glances sideways at Tulpa].

[Archduke Pantsfan]

no dirnking, I *hic* haven't been occifer.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

a DUI near end of shift? what a shift killer.

purse your lips and blow, sir

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

I know you prefer to draw blood, you sicko.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

well, you can blow on my breathalyzer anytime you want, big boy

[Tulpa (LAOL-PA)]

Your mom was plenty coherent last night.

[Handsome Jack]

Libertarian PJ O'Rourke admits it: "The principal right that the Second Amendment seems to guarantee is the right to be a soldier."

Time to end this fraud about "gun rights."

[The Immaculate Trouser]

If that's true, then I'll need a lot better guns than what I have.

For soldiering, and all.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

i read that quote in one of PJ's book, just a sample on my kindle fire, but it stood out as very un-pj. i was kind of surprised. in retrospect, gun rights are not a topic that PJ has covered a lot in his books (and i've read nearly all). doesn't seem to move him much

[DesigNate]

Fuck you

[cavalier973]

P.J. O'Rourke is a libertarian?

Even so, that statement is wrong.

[Jesus H. Christ]

All I can find is the POTUS SOTU, I don't see Rand's rebuttal at all.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

HERE YOU ARE GOOD SIR

[Jesus H. Christ]

Thanks.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Kate Upton just said it was so cold in Antarctica that she had to have people lift her legs into her clothes.

I'm in the wrong career path.

[cavalier973]

Pet beautician?

[heller]

Nothing better than sitting in a room full of Democrats, watching the SotU, and shitting on everything Obama says.

[brlfq]

You know who else yells at the TV?

[RenkBooo]

I never thought about it liek that beofre.

http://www.Total-Anon.da.bz

[entropy]

I love these headlines.

Breaking: Dorner's body found in ruins of cabin.

Update: Dorner's body not found. Cabin still on fire.

Update: Dorner escapes.

Update: Dorner's remains removed from wreckage.

Update: Dorner not found.

Update: Dorner's wallet found in ruins of cabin.

Update: Hostages wallet found in cabin, not Dorner's.

Update: Police still haven't entered the cabin.