Drones

Obama's Wars: Biting Drone-War Parodies and The Dawood Military Hospital Scandal

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For those curious about the other side of the aisle, Charles Davis has an amazing piece that really gets into the mindset of the left as they desperately try to defend their guy against the threat of a Mitt Romney presidency.

Check out these first paragraphs from the New Inquiry article:

With all the attacks on his leadership from the professional left, it's all too easy to forget that Barack Obama is by far the most liberal president in American history. From permitting gays to serve openly in the military to saying they should even be allowed to get married, the president has deftly tied his most progressive policies to America's most reactionary institutions, upholding the long liberal tradition of making the status quo more sustainable, its excesses more subtle. But to the outraged left, helping Americans isn't enough. He's supposed to concern himself with the lives of foreigners, too….

If you can stomach the toxicity, just consider the implicit Birtherism: that President Obama should be more concerned about non-Americans than registered American voters, as if he's not even American himself. And consider the classism and misogyny. Amid a GOP-led war on women, the privileged far left would have us believe protecting the life of some impoverished stay-at-home Buzkashi mom is as vital as safeguarding a successful, independent American woman's access to subsidized birth control — that a Madeleine Albright or Hillary Rodham Clinton are no more important than some willfully oppressed third-worlder in a burka.

But I got a bit farther and suddenly remembered (I had a lot of tabs open, alright?) that I had found Davis' essay linked in a Glenn Greenwald tweet. So, this, thank God, was a parody.

Writes Davis:

Don't let the baby-killing rhetoric from the emo-left fool you, though: drones don't just protect important people, they protect Pakistanis and Yemenis too. Indeed, we know that because that's what those who use them say. Repeatedly, the boss of country's advisors have assured us that civilian deaths in his drone wars are "exceedingly rare" and that, even when they do take life, it's only to protect it. Not even Glenn  Greenwald — basically just a whiter, more privileged Anwar al-Awlaki — disputes these facts.

Because liberal apologies for war do happen, but they are never stated quite so bluntly as this:

After all, if you don't like that Barack Obama possesses the unilateral ability to decide who lives or dies, imagine how insufferable that power would be in the hands of the former Massachusetts governor. Instead of laughing with the president as he jokes about drone striking the Jonas Brothers, we would probably be stuck listening to an awkward Romney make dated quips about offing the Allman Brothers.

Out of the full context, the deftness of the parody is not clear, but Davis dances on the line between familiar, partisan waffling and more overt, satirical absurdities (that Greenwald line hasn't been used with any seriousness yet, I hope) and God, just go read it.

Especially read it because of the reports on the Dawood National Military Hospital scandal in Afghanistan (with Buzzfeed supplying the most brutal of the photos, click with caution).

According to Buzzfeed:

There are currently two ongoing investigations looking into the Dawood Military Hospital abuses: one centered around the Military Whistleblower Protection Act, the other concerned with [three-star Lt. General William] Caldwell's politically-motivated decision to delay investigations into the hospital until after the 2010 elections.

It's not pretty to see the effects of the Afghanistan war that America has fighting for more than a decade. Worse still, accusations that in the hospital:

wounded Afghan soldiers: open vats of blood draining from soldier's wounds, feces on the floor, and Afghan doctors and nurses demanding bribes to provide patients with food and basic care. According to the witnesses, patients routinely starved to death, were operated on without sedatives, and died of simple infections.

Former military analysts testified on Tuesday that there was a determined cover-up about the "Auschwitz-like" conditions in the mostly U.S. tax-payer funded hospital so as not to sully Democrats chances in 2010.

Army Colonel Mark Fassl was NATO's Training Mission Afghanistan Command Inspector General in 2010. He says when he requested the inspector general to investigate the hospital, he was admonished by the three-star general in charge, Lt. General William Caldwell.

"His first response to me was 'how could we make that request with elections coming?'" Fassl told a House oversight subcommittee Tuesday.

Another advisor in Afghanistan, Col. Gerald Carozza, says Caldwell's deputy delivered a similar message: that the general was upset that Fassl had asked for an independent investigation "so close to the (2010 midterm) election."

"We were to consider postponing it until afterwards," Carozza testified. "It was a stunning moment for me."

It's rather optimistic of Caldwell to think that even pictures like this would make people change their minds. Remember, when it's our guys, our country, our party, it's never a crime, it's just the unfortunate cost of war.

Reason on drones, ReasonTV on "What Happened to the Anti-War Movement?"

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  1. For those curious about the other side of the aisle…

    Other side, eh?

  2. The desperation from TEAM BLUE is already pretty extreme, and it’s only going to get worse. This is either going to be entertaining or appalling.

    1. Read it. It is awesome.

      http://thenewinquiry.com/essay…..advantage/

      Davis should be given a Pulitzer.

      1. This was a knockout punch:

        [T]he overpoweringly putrid scent of death wafting in the air as her father cupped the intestines spilling out her mangled abdomen, the littlest Ledbetter faintly breathed her final words. And like the laudable columnist Ezra Klein, she was on message.

        “It’s so cruel,” she said, whimpering as tears fell from her bloodshot eyes to her blood-smeared cheek, “what Mitt Romney did to that dog.”

      2. At first I was going to say that it’s too subtle and most won’t get it.

        Then I saw his sheer brilliance as he gradually made each paragraph more biting.

        1. I could care less whether * most * get it. It was such a pleasure to read such a snarky, subtle takedown of liberal apologists for Obama.

        2. Then I saw his sheer brilliance as he gradually made each paragraph more biting.

          This.

          It starts out almost cheerleading, then starts to get seriouser and seriouser.

    2. My gut tells me appalling is more likely.

  3. The left always seems to try and twist itself in knots with policy nuance, as if to say there’s some upside to civilian murder.

    Shorter version: It’s ok when the cool, calm, Barack does it. It would be way much worser if that square, mormon, zomgRomney did it.

    1. Elaborating on the nuance bit, it’s like they desperately want to show what wonderful, astute observers they are, seeing all the gray in every policy, to somehow prove to themselves that it’s all right as long as THEIR guy or gal is doing it. Throw an R or L or I behind someone’s name and this article would be about unmitigated genocide.

    2. This one sounds a little worse than the Walter Reed Hospital neglect scandal. I wonder why it is not in the news as much?

  4. The hospital business is revolting and turns my stomach. Awful.

    1. Let me be clearer – the whole business is revolting, the hospital business moreso than the rest.

  5. Remember, when it’s our guys, our country, our party, it’s never a crime, it’s just the unfortunate cost of war.

    I highly doubt proponents of the Afghan War would side with hospital corruption.

    The corrupt staff at that hospital should be executed. Preferably by drone strike. Always my fave!

    1. Cytotoxic|7.27.12 @ 8:23PM|#
      “I highly doubt proponents of the Afghan War would side with hospital corruption.”

      Agreed.
      But had it been Bush in office, the media would be SCREAMING!
      Now, it’s uh, what?

  6. You know what’s a real crime against humanity? Having to watch this retarded British opening ceremony.

    1. Hint:
      There’s an on-off switch on every electrical device ever made.
      Move it to “off”.

    2. My girlfriend was making me watch. Tequila helped until they did a tribute to socialized medicine.
      I fled to the computer.

      1. tribute to socialized medicine.

        Wait..this happened? or are you just screwing with us?

        1. Oh it happened. In dance.

          1. Explain how this is possible.

            1. I don’t really want to think about it ever again.

              1. I don’t think it’s really something that can be explained or believed without watching.

                1. I just watched it. I have to go wander the streets aimlessly now for a while while the hidden alien messages that had to have been in that worm their way into my brain.

              2. ….. tha fuck?

                1. WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING?!?!

              3. What the fuck? No, seriously, what the fuck did I just watch? There were beds, lights, nurses, kids, doctors, the sockhop…

                Maybe alcohol and/or drugs will make…whatever that was…make sense.

                1. By the way, I would accept socialized medicine with open arms in this country if nurses went back to those uniforms.

                  1. I am not wearing that.

                1. I thought Tubular Bells was a nice touch. If you’re going to do something like that, you might as well use the theme from The Exorcist.

        2. It was called “The Bed Dance”. Bunch of Children. NPR reported on it this morning… in passing. Because to NPR, this is as normal as Campfire girls marching in the Macy’s day parade.

      2. Bardas Phocas|7.27.12 @ 9:04PM|#
        “My girlfriend was making me watch.”

        You need a new girlfriend. My wife was kind enough to visit some friends and watch it with them. I offered tissues, but…

        1. Fuck that.

          My wife asked if I’d watch it with her, lovingly told her “not no, but fuck no”, and opted to listen to 3 awesome recods on vinyl instead.

          Still Life by Opeth; Spiral Circus by Porcupine Tree; and Valtari by Sigur Ros.

          BTW: If you had my collection, what would you listen to tonight?

          1. BTW: If you had my collection, what would you listen to tonight?

            None of that rot. I’d listen to my Hammock or Minipop Pandora station. “The Wall”? WTF?

            Your musical collection is like hipster-wannabes swilling PBR instead of something that actually tastes good, like a good microbrew.

            /musical intervention

            1. Are you shitting me, dude?

              Hipster? Mostly metal and prog is hipster to you?

              You need some lessons.

    3. It was just as bad in the rerun.

    4. Here is something that will counter the retarded opening ceremonies:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..r_embedded

      Mike Kelly gives what I thought was a pretty good speech. He’s one of the ‘good Republicans’. And he even mentioned the word ‘libertarian’ near the end just in an odd context.

  7. LTG Caldwell should be BCD Specialed – once convicted, have his rank torn off, his sword broken and be made to ride an ass, mounted backward, out the gate of the post. Then he can be arrested and handed to the Afghans.

    And the Afghans who did this at the hospital – turned over to the families of their “patients”, with a smile.

    I am sick just thinking of this – the two Afghan docs I knew stayed to help the Northern Alliance – they could have easily fled to safety and made good money. I can only imagine how pissed they must be.

  8. I’ve never been so ashamed of my British heritage.

    1. James Bond would be proud.

  9. Wow. That post went from funny to serious very quickly. That hospital story is appalling.

  10. OT: Hey guys, If I don’t know you, the hands off.

    A reasonable request, yes? The feminist twist is, she’s talking about being in the walkway of a crowded bar.

    1. What is so intimate about a woman’s lower back vs her shoulder or upper back?

      Anyway I usually put my hands up like a diver and wedge my way through crowded bar. The fear being that my hand could brush a women where it definitely should not…or worse brush a man where it should not.

      This is all very odd though…I mean an opps I bumped your boobs is not nearly as bad as opps I poked you in the eye and scratched your cornea..

      1. She’s so full of herself, she she ignores physics.

        A) The shoulder sticks out more and gets bumped often. As a result, a touch on the shoulder is usually ignored.

        B) A stronger push on the shoulder in order to get attention throws the person off balance, possibly spilling their drink.

        She chooses to ignore all of this and instead assumes that the guy is trying to hit on her shrew, annoying ass.

        (also, if you’re not going to take a piss or get a drink, and instead decide to approach that way, it totally does work)

    2. When someone does this to me, it completely eliminates any chance that I’m going to talk to him. In other words, guys, this shit doesn’t work. I can tell you right now that you’ll have better luck attracting the attention of a woman if you don’t pull this lower back faux-slick bullshit move. Hands to yourself. Use your words. Trust me on this one.

      Dear Kara (Is it pronounced Ka-ra as in Tar, or Kara as in Tare?),

      As someone who completely respects the space of strange women, if I were to ever find myself in the same room as you, I will not, under any circumstances whatsoever try to fuck you. In fact, if you were the last woman on earth and we passed by eachother in a tight space, I would not, under any condition, attempt to have relations with you.

      Yours respectfully,

      Paul.

      1. I might hatefuck her if I could duct tape her whore mouth shut so I didn’t have to listen to her yammer on. 😀

        Seriously, woman, if you hate men that much, admit to your sexuality and go to a lesbian bar.

      2. In other words, guys, this shit doesn’t work.

        I am not a very touchy person. I don’t like touching strangers and i don’t like strangers touching me.

        Anyway when i lived in Portland one of my roommates was very touchy with strange women. he was also like 6foot 5 in great shape had pretty blue eyes and a could talk for hours and hours with anyone about anything.

        Needless to say this shit does work. The guy had a different women in his bed at least twice a week.

    3. Uh, sweetie? You, a nominally attractive female, are in a bar – a place where both drinking and courtship behavior are taking place – and you are getting bent out of shape about being touched on your lower back?

      You really need to join an order of contemplative Nuns. You are simply too delicate for this world.

  11. but her father ? let’s call him Mohammad II ? recounted to me that the real tragedy of his daughter’s death would be if it undermined President Obama’s political capital, and with it his ability to expand Americans’ access to quality, affordable health care.

    Ok yes everyone needs to read David’s article.

    1. David = Charles Davis

      =P

  12. Jezebel gets one right:

    feelings. And while it’s probably not “normal” for criminals to be a girl’s “type,” it’s actually much more common than you’d think. Women have a long history of being physically attracted to people who’ve committed particularly heinous crimes. There’s actually a term for it: Hybristophilia.

    Uhm, no, it’s not more common that “I’d think”.

    Woman: God that guy really creeped me out when he came up to me. I mean, he was really overly forward and he said things that really gave me the heeby-jeebies.

    Me: So, did you go out with him?

    Woman: Yeah!

    1. Close, but incorrect at a key point. The word “creep” is reserved for the guy who approached her respectfully with impeccable manners.

    2. I think people are just failing to take into account the power of math.

      Even if you’re completely gross and only 1 in 10000 women who see you would be interested in you, that means that if you commit a horrific crime and suddenly 150 million women see your picture, 15000 of those women will like what they see.

      And of those 15000 women, a certain number will use Twitter.

  13. Phizer invites you to rim a dog.

    http://gawker.com/5929610/pr-d…..-rim-a-dog

  14. Indiana shootout leaves bystander, police dog dead

    Guy decides to shoot up his ex wife’s house.

    He shoots a cop.

    Huge gun battle erupts.

    Cops shoot their own dog.

    The shootout also led to the death of an Anderson canine officer named Kilo.

    “When Officer Dulworth was shot, Kilo, in the midst of the surrounding gunfire and reacting to the loss of his handler, mistook one of the officers as an aggressor and attacked him, biting him several times,” Anderson police said in a statement. “The officers found themselves faced with a confused K-9 and an armed suspect firing upon them.”

    Police said officers were forced to shoot Kilo during the chaos.

    1. They just can’t hep themselves when it comes t dogs, can they?

      JFC.

  15. Former military analysts testified on Tuesday that there was a determined cover-up about the “Auschwitz-like” conditions in the mostly U.S. tax-payer funded hospital so as not to sully Democrats chances in 2010.

    I am so disgusted with my country. At this point I would never take up arms again to defend it. My fellow country-men, yes. But D.C., SCOTUS, Congress, never.

    1. They aren’t my country. They’re criminals who extort from me so they can live their dreams of playing Risk for real.

    2. Nothing wrong with the country. It’s just dirt and weeds and people. It’s the mafia with good PR running the government that you should hate.

      If I wasn’t such a pussy, I would take up arms to fight those quasi-mafiosas.

      1. I fear that at some point, a choice to willingly and gladly avoid violence, short of leaving everything and everyone people who just want to be let alone has ever known, may not be an option.

  16. I know the government is out of control, but had not realized just how extensive the subsequent corruption…

    But no matter what the president does, it’s not illegal right? Then how can the president ever be impeached?

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