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Gay French Will Be Able to Get Married in the Crumbling Ruins of Their Home Country


OMG! Lobster Girl!

The European country you probably assumed was already recognizing gay marriage will actually begin recognizing gay marriage (and allow gay couples to adopt) in 2013. Via the BBC:

Gays in France make up 6.5% of the electorate, compared with practising Catholics at 4.5%, according to figures released by pollster Ifop.

A survey carried out at the beginning of the year showed 63% of French people are in favour of gay marriage while 56% support gay adoption.

As Reason's Matthew Feeney pointed out, such forward-thinking does not apply to the nation's economic planning. The incoming regime also plans to hire more public employees, drastically increases taxes on the rich and raise the minimum wage rather than pursue any sort of austerity measures as Europe's economy falls apart. So any wealthy gay French might want to keep those weddings a bit modest so as not to draw attention.

Meanwhile, here in the states, Maryland's new law recognizing same-sex marriage will be put to public vote in November, joining referendums in Washington State and Maine. Gay marriage recognition has yet to survive a public vote in the United States, but shifts in attitudes indicate there may be a different outcome this fall. (And yes, people are still talking about how President Barack Obama's "evolution" on gay marriage is affecting popular opinion.)

NEXT: The Locavore's Dilemma: In Praise of the 10,000-Mile Diet

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  1. Yeah but how will they be able to tell which French people are gay?

    1. You start from 100% and then subtract people. Less counting involved.

    2. This sounds like a discussion I had with two female friends over dinner last night.
      Friend 1: How did you not know that guy was gay?
      Friend 2: Well he was so well-built and well-groomed and well-dressed...
      Friend 1: Did he have a foreign accent?
      Friend 2: No
      Friend 1: There ya go.

      1. Paraphrased from the hilarious leaked Goldman Sachs Twitter feeds:

        "I didn't realize he was European. I thought he was gay."

        1. I love that guy.

        2. Graham Norton (gay) had a segment on his show called "Gay or Eurotrash?"

  2. Alt-text win, Shackford. Good job.

    1. And Scottie is a relative newcomer. Props for catching up on the relevant lore, Shackford.

      1. +1.

    2. Damn good alt-text for sure, but I'd give him a runner up... Win would be: "Sacre-blu. La jeune fille de gros crustac? ? pinces!" or Quebec French "Tabarnac. Lobster girl"

  3. Gotta love it how these jokers take their silly quest for social acceptance to the ballot box, get their asses handed to them, and come back again and again and again, when you just know that if they ever do win they'll be shouting "Settled law! The People have spoken! Cannot be changed!"

    Fucking hypocrites.

    1. Like how you hate democracy except when it comes to minority civil rights?

      1. Sounds like Tony is projecting again.

        1. Like how liberals - who should be the LAST people to engage in bigotry - engage in bigotry?

  4. As long as the Bordeaux keeps flowing and the foie gras is in the market, I will continue to love Paris.

    1. That would be gay Paree, non?

    2. Did you ever try speaking French there? I'm going in a couple of months but am so ashamed of my shitty Canadian French that I almost want to pretend I'm an American and can't speak at all.

      1. I think the stereotype of the Canadian hick is just as pervasive as the American Idiot.

        "I moved here from Canada, and people think I'm slow, eh."

        1. "I fell off the jungle gym and when I woke up I was in here"

        2. I was surprised but now understand that in midwestern Canada, the place, per my BColumbia friend, is full of "rednecks"

          Too bad our south is not joined at the hip physically wwith that part of canada

          We could build a third country in the middle, toss in any Homophobes we missed

          And then use it to test our implements of war in case the taliban come calling again.

          BAsically they are the same thing except for the name of their God and their Jesus

          1. Well shit last time we tried that ya'll came and burned our homes and fields to bring us back in.

            Make up your damn mind Yankee scum.

      2. DO NOT try to speak French to Parisiens. DO NOT. They do that passive-aggressive shit where they pretend not to understand you for a minute, then say "OH! You meant to say 'Bonjour'!", when you pronounced it exactly as they did. Buncha fuckers. Nice city. Shame about all the Parisiens that live there.

        1. And I never got that crap from any other Frenchies I ever spoke to who were from places other than Paris.

          1. I don't know when you were last in Paris but that was definitely not my experience in 1997 when I was in Paris.

            Things may have changed since, I don't know.

            It is true that historically Parisians have had that reputation but they got over it to a great extent in the 90s. Perhaps their hatred of Bush brought it back. 🙂

            1. No, this was in 1988.

            2. I don't know when you were last in Paris but that was definitely not my experience in 1997 when I was in Paris.

              It was my mother's experience when she went to France in the 50s, and my mother was English and spoke French. So she was just as Euro-trash as everyone else, but they detected she wasn't French. And my mother's accent was fucking impeccable.

              1. i had the same experience. the french people were AWESOME. **except** in paris, where they were ridiculous snobs. i speak french pretty fluently, and outside paris people generally appreciated an american speaking their language, even if imperfectly executed.

                but paris was just full of anti-american snobs.

                most of the people i hung out with in france were surfers, and thus we had plenty in common

                a french surfer and american surfer ... well surfers are surfers no matter where you go. there's always a bond.

            3. It salmost shameful that we have to read the 4 letters which also descibe the plants in the front of my house

              At least they didnt wreck teh economy and create a war based on lies.

              And turn our govt from a surplus to a horrible depression.

              1. Oh look a new troll.

          2. During my brief travels through France awhile back (No Paris), the Frogs I met were invariably charming and quite indulgent of my utter inability to speak French, and my wife's atrocious French.

            They all spoke Visa, which seemed to be enough.

            1. Paris ? the rest of France

              1. Manhattan ? the rest of New York City.

                So many parallels.

                1. All the little French kids think American tourists are packing heat.

        2. Montrealers do a similar thing except they're pretending not to realize that you want them to speak in English when you asked them a question in English.

          1. Montrealers I spoke to in French would always answer me in English. Kind of put a damper on trying to practice when we'd go up there for field trips n shit.

            1. I think they both stem from the same root: Montrealers want to be jerks about being bilingual instead of regular Canadians.

            2. Montrealers did that to me too. I think when they can tell you're an Anglophone they just want to cut out the middle man.

              1. Yeah, this is 100% the case. If they think you're an Anglophone (and they will unless you sound like one of them), they will pop straight into English.

                Throw in a few "tabarnac"s and "calice"s and then maybe you can convince them.

                1. If they think you're an Anglophone (and they will unless you sound like one of them), they will pop straight into English.

                  Maybe if you are speaking French. When you ask them a question in English, they will inevitably respond in French. When you don't understand, they'll sigh, roll their eyes, and then respond in perfect English.

            3. For all of those who had Montrealers speak to them in English after you spoke French, don't worry. In Paris, the French do that to Montrealers. The Parisians find the Quebecois accent to be lower than patois.

            4. I should say I have never had a bad experience with a French Canadian - they have been lovely to me, even the Montrealers. One of my dream road trips is the Trans-Labrador Highway, the beginning of which would take me deep into Francophone Quebec (Lac Manicouagan et points north) - I expect my interractions with the locals to be friendly. Although I should probably study up a bit on my Quebecois.

              1. My wife and I go to Montreal nearly every year. We love it. I think it is the best city in North America.

                1. Certainly very clean, I was astounded at the cleanliness of the subway.

                2. John, next time you go, check out the Restaurant Sans Menu. It's way off the beaten path (fortunately for me, in one of my old hoods), and has some of the most amazing French food I've ever had (or at least it did), and for cheaper than I've ever had it elsewhere. If you don't know it already of course. I hope it's still awesome.

                  1. I will do Nicole. Have you ever been to the Bonaparte? That is our favorite restaurant there. We need to try new things. We kind of get in a rut of old favorites. I want to try the Foix Gras place Bourdaine is always going on about.

                    1. I have, the Bonaparte is a great place too. Also, on the pricey side, Chez l'?picier is freaking awesome.

                3. Something tells me John spouse are not paying regular visits to Les Foufounes Electriques when in Montreal. (first place I ever got drunk)

                  1. Ha! I have only been there once.

                    Fun story about somewhere else John Mrs John probably do not go: One summer I was in a car full of girls I had driven down to Saratoga Springs with to say goodbye to a friend. On the way back, there was a huge backup at the border crossing, and some car in the lane next to us full of frat-boy types got our attention. (Note: in case anyone doesn't know, New England college kids LOVE Montreal because they can go out there legally. Not to mention the strip club rules.) So they're asking us about the cool places to go, and tell us they have "heard about Crescent St" (tourist trap!). I immediately tell them the real action is on Ste. Catherine around St. Timoth?e, and to hit up Parking, Mado, and Unity II, among others. As we part in traffic, I'm screaming "Ste. Catherine St. Timoth?e!" maniacally, and all the girls I'm with, nice Canadians that they are, are like "Why did you do that? Why did you send them to the gay village?"

                  2. LOL. That would be a no Nicole. But we have hit St. Catherine street a few times. yeah baby.

                    1. Nicole is an awesome name, but I prefer Kristen or KK 😛

                  3. Fuck, my best story ever was just eaten in comment spam. Anyway, I have only been to Foufounes once, but that's so funny.

                    So in case anyone doesn't know, going to Montreal is pretty popular among college students in New England because they can drink and go clubbing legally, not to mention the laws around strip clubs. So this one summer on our way back from a day trip to Saratoga Springs, I'm in a car full of girls waiting in line at a big backup at the border crossing. Car next to us is full of frat-boy types. They get our attention and find out we live there, ask us the cool places to go, say they have heard of Crescent St (tourist trap!). So immediately I tell them where the real shit is happening: "Ste. Catherine St. Timoth?e. Parking, Mado, Unity, Drugstore." As we part in traffic, with me wildly screaming "Ste. Catherine St. Timoth?e," all the nice Canadians I was with were bewildered. "Why did you send them to the gay village?"

                    1. And I get ampersanded on top of everything else. That's Ste. Catherine et St. Timoth?e.

                    2. Looks like Foufounes is coming up on its 30th anniversary next year - I might have to go back and see what the young whippersnappers are up to since I was last there in 1990.

                    3. Kristen, if you do speak French (or rather, understand joual OK), you should check out Mado. I would link, but you know, squirrels. "Mardis chez Mado" is this like...burlesque drag show thing, which sounds crazy and very niche and very gay, but in Montreal is more like "family fun time." Not as in children, necessarily, but it's a great comedy act and ridiculously good drag show.

                      And anyone who goes there should remember to listen to their Louise Forestier on the way.

                    4. Sounds fun! I really do need to recreate some Montreal memories.

                    5. Okay, I apologize if that ends up stuck in anyone else's head as bad as it's now back in mine, but (a) it's fun, (b) it's an excellent example of joual if you haven't heard it, and (c) there's even a great libertarian line!

                      Pis laissez-la donc faire, si a veut se casser la gueule, c'est d'ses affaires!

                    6. That is awesome Nicole. And the last time I was there they seem to have closed down a lot of the strip clubs. St. Catherine's used to be the home of the full contact lap dance. Now it is all HM stores and such.

                    7. What? No more Ch?teau du Sexe? My dad will be devastated!!!

                      There was no HetM at all when I was there. Def prefer the strippers.

                    8. When I went up to plan out a bachelor party last spring there was still quite a few full contact places we found.

                    9. I never went to any with danseuses, only danseurs, but I always thought the best/most ridiculous part was that the full contact was less "allowed" and more "mandatory."

              2. I grew up 5 miles from the Quebec border and spent 3-4 weekends a year in Montreal during undergrad. It's only the Montrealers who have been annoying, though I agree with John that it's a great city. The only part I dislike is how annoyed they get when I speak to them in one of their official languages.

            5. My French is beyond broken, but I made an attempt to use it in Montreal while in the Francophone sections of the city. BTW, there is a sizeable Anglophone community in the city near McGill and Concordia. Folks there greet you in English when you walk into a store or bar before you say anything.

              Some folks in the Francophone sections responded to me in French. Once we exceeded my French, I'd ask to switch to English and they seemed OK with it.

              A few Francophone folks would switch to English right away when I tried talking to them in French. I asked a Francophone Quebecoise about this, and she said most of the Francophone folks in Montreal can tell French isn't your first language and will switch to English to make it easier on you.

              My dad's experience in Montreal in the 60's (and he knows French better than I do) was that folks would not respond to him at all when he spoke to them in French.

        3. I had similar experience in Paris a long time ago, but things have greatly changed and now they are like the rest of the world: Very appreciative if you try to speak the language.

          Even when central Paris treated people with imperfect French like dirt, I had a wonderful experience with the farmers who brought their produce to the market near Gare du Lyons: Even with my shitty French, they treated me like a king for trying to speak the language.

          1. Gare du Lyons? Eehhh...I don't undairstan zees "Gare du Lyons". Are you sure zees is Francais lang'uahz? Stoopeed Amereecain!

            1. Actually, it's Gare de Lyon.

              1. I know - that's why I was giving him my best attitude Parisienne.

                1. I heard it in my mind as "gair dew lions" and smiled to myself. 🙂

                  1. I kid, Aresen, I kid. 😉

                    1. Told you my French was shitty.

        4. That is almost word for word what a friend of mine said. She goes every year.

        5. In over 20 years of traveling to France probably a dozen times, this has NEVER been my experience in Paris or anywhere else in France. For all their faults (and they can seem very uptight and neurotic to Americans), the French are some of the most charming people I've ever met.

          1. I'm specifically talking about Parisiens. The other Frenchies I have met have been lovely. I did an exchange program for a summer in Lyon - it was nice. Spent some time in Chamonix - nice. My French teachers were all great - not a single one of them was from Paris.

      3. Actually I got compliments on my French accent there. To bad my vocabulary and comprehension are so piss poor.

        My French cousin even said that my French was better than his mother's (My aunt who emoved to France in the early 1950s) after over forty years of living there.

        My advice to anyone in France is to give it speaking French a try. Most of the myths about the hostility of the French to nonspeakers is either false or obselete.

        1. My experience was completely the opposite, and I had been speaking French fluently for years and gotten many a compliment form non-Parisien French speakers and straight A's in my classes.

          1. I was surprised too after the stories I had heard. I was not surprised at the cab driver in Nice complimenting me but getting the two compliments I got in Paris did.

            Overall I encountered none of the hostility others have reported.

          2. Paris is the New York of France, in more ways than one.

      4. Ya. Don't use your Quebec/Canadian French, just use the annoying American French accent. "Bone joor moan ameee. Juh swees unn Americain." Anyone who speaks English within 10 feet (3.048 meters/metres) is guaranteed to put you out of their misery.

        O revoyer. Bone chance on your trip.

        1. Bone joor monsee-yoor. Come and tell me who? I will try my shitty French. I recently spoke with a dude from Australia by way of Lebanon, who claimed to speak fluent French, who said that he had trouble understanding people in Quebec. I suspect snobbery.

          1. I worked with three French guys, one from Quebec and two from France. The French guys said the Canadian guy's speech was really old fashioned and rustic sounding. Sort of like Shakesparian English sounds to us.

            But then the guy from Lyon said the the guy from a small town Normandy sounded like a yokel too. Seems they have the same regional differences ther.

            1. Outside of Montreal and Quebec City, most of Quebec is hicksville. (Which I'm sure you know if you've been there.) Macon, Georgia looks metropolitan compared to, say, Sherbrooke.

            2. I've worked with Africans from French-speaking countries that made fun of the Quebec accent. It was pretty awesome. I remember this one guy who used to run around saying "c'est ?a" to me, where the "?a" sounded more like "saw" or "suh." He thought it was hilarious.

              1. My best friend's dad was from old-timey French Canadian Vermont stock. They were from Hicksville QC, transplanted to Hicksville, VT. Anyway, he was on the phone to his siblings one day, and I had to ask WTF language he was speaking. And I was pretty damned fluent in French by that point. Didn't understand a friggin word, except "b'joor".

                1. You can occasionally still find the guys who speak Cajun French in the oilfield. That's a bizarre dialect.

          2. It might have been snobbery but the French really do have trouble understanding Quebec French. In fact, they subtitle movies and TV shows when people speak Quebecois. It's like Americans having difficulty understanding some British accents (anyone seen Trainspotting??).

            1. I have, and I went to Glasgow. I remember chatting with a friendly, helpful hotel clerk. I got about 33-50% of what he said. No joke.

            2. Oh yeah, I've known French people from France to visit Quebec and have trouble communicating. Hell, I've witnessed it, and acted as an interpreter from French to French.

      5. I don't speak French but the place where I got the most compliments for trying to speak the language was Spain.

        Here in the Czech Republic they mostly shit on you for trying to speak the language, although it's probably getting better.

        1. The Germans werre always very cool about you speaking to them in their own language - used to turn scowls in small towns into "oh, he's OK, listen..."

        2. The Turks went apeshit (in a good way) when I spoke their language to them.

      6. Dagny, when you say "shitty Canadian French" do you mean that you actually speak with any level of Quebec accent and/or slang? Because if so, they simply won't understand you.

        And to add to the discussion below, I've spent MUCH more time in Montreal (lived there 5 years) than in Paris, but I too was much more likely to experience the I-try-to-speak-French-you-answer-me-in-English. And that was because I had nice Parisian-sounding French so they knew I wasn't from there. By the time I was speaking joual it was a different story.

        Now, of course, I'm just an American with a completely ridiculous accent when I speak French. It is kind of fun though.

      7. I had a European co-worker say that when he meets strangers from North America, he asks them if they are Canadian. When asked why, he responded that Americans don't get angry if they asked if they are Canadian. Whereas Canadians get really annoyed when asked if they are Americans.

        1. when i traveled central america, it was definitely beneficial to claim to be canadian and not american.

        2. I've heard that too, kinnath.

          When someone told me that I understood why the bank teller at Schiphol Airport asked me if I was Canadian when I stopped to get some local money.

          1. I especially though it strange since I was changing US dollars for gilders. I figured that should have been the giveaway.

          2. I never, ever arrive in any country without at least $100 equivalent in the local currency.

            There are no bigger ripoffs than exchange rates in airports.

            1. Banks are OK, money changing places or cambios can be a ripoff, of course. But major European airports have banks in them in my experience so I wasn't worried.

              In this case I had not planned on staying in Holland but on going on to Germany right away but something happened that made us chang our plans and I decided we'd need gilders after all.

  5. iFop? Too easy.

  6. Lobster girl isn't bad looking, but I prefer OUR lobster girl.

    1. Being able to cook is a plus.

    2. This is Lobster Girl in Mitt Romney's AmeriKKKa.

      1. If he promises a lobster in every pot and a girl like that in every bed I'll vote for you him.

  7. France: Just enough Enlightenment-era Republican egalitarianism to be intrigued, but plenty enough socialist delusion and nationalistic bigotry to be incredibly disappointed.

  8. You know who else planned to hire more public employees, drastically increase taxes on the rich and raise the minimum wage rather than pursue any sort of austerity measures...

    But wasn't so big on the whole 'gay' thing...

    1. Obama?

    2. Pol Pot?

  9. I didn't realize the French denied any of their citizens any state benefits.

    1. Are you kidding? Most French citizens have to work nearly 20 hours every week! And they have to wait until they are 37 before they can retire with full pensions for life! It's the evils of austerity!

      1. And they have to wait until they are 37 before they can retire with full pensions for life!

        When did they raise that?

    2. Actually, I love the American liberals belief in the ever so cultured Frenchy.

      Most of the French guys I've met have all the culture of a longshoreman.

      There is huge gap between the cultural attiudes of Jacques Sixpack and the cultural elites that govern the place.

      For the most part he's been bought of by the beaucoup free stuff he gets. But at heart he's a bigoted lout.

      1. Just point the liberals to the Tour de France coverage and show them the assholes lining the roads, especially in the mountain stages. Thems ain't stupid Americans! (well, not all of them)

        1. per capita, the french are also amongst the biggest consumers of mcdonalds in europe

        2. To clarify, what I was driving at in my last paragraph was that Jacques puts up with the progressive bullshit his govermental masters push in him (like no death penalty, gay marriage and filthy beurs in the banlieues) because of all the free shit he gets.

  10. I wonder how this will play in the Islamique banlieus?

  11. Gay countries and crumbling ruins?

    I thought for sure this was going to be about Greece.

  12. Well now that looks like a lot of fun lol. Go for it man!

  13. Sure, go to the government and have them put your name on their official list of gay people, then when France collapses and the Islamists and/or Nazis and/or Stalinists take over what's left, it will easy for them to identify you.

    1. They already had civil partnerships before.

  14. "As Reason's Matthew Feeney pointed out, such forward-thinking does not apply to the nation's economic planning."

    He sound surprised. Are there any examples where "forward thinking" on gay marriage goes along with economic sanity?

    Any country or state come to mind?

    1. To some degree: Canada, Sweden, Denmark, Iceland, Norway, the Netherlands, Israel

      1. Maybe, but on the economic front they are kind of late bloomers to liberty. Their economic liberalization is like the vodka drinker switching to beer after too many times waking up naked in a trash bin. So it was kind of out of necessity. The gay stuff was kind of a culture-war of choice.

        1. Until the 1970s Canada had more economic liberty than the US. The had never endured the New Deal and were much later in adopting most of the trappings of the welfare state.

          In fact, on issues like occupational licensing they are still ahead.

        2. Mind you, when they did get around to adopting the trappings of the welfare state they did it with a vengeance. 🙂

  15. "practising Catholics at 4.5%"

    Holy shit. Muslims are almost 10% of the French population. Goodbye France.

    Have fun French gays, it will be over as soon as that number hits 50%.

  16. I found the title 'crumbling ruins....'
    interesting, maybe satire

    The real thing thats crumbling, thanks be to God and jesus, is the catholic church.

    The so called xtian crusades were really the catholic crusades that killed tens of millions of Mulsims froma bout 1000 to 1500. No wonder some of them hate the west. - Scoieties have long memories.

    The church now hates gays with a passion similar to that the church created in much of Europe over a thousand years - hating Jews, and laying the foundations for the holocaust WWII

    And they dare to talk about protecting life.

    BTW Hitler, Mussolini, FRanco, Dr. Mengele, Adolph Eichmann, Paul Joseph Goebbels were all catholic

    BTW Stalin - nut that he was, went to a Russian Orthodox seminary in his youth. You can rest assured that the ROC was about as liberal as Atila the Hun

    1. Stan, *Becket* is almost on...don't you want to go beat off during the murder scene?

    2. Troll said BTW Hitler, Mussolini, FRanco, Dr. Mengele, Adolph Eichmann, Paul Joseph Goebbels were all catholic

      You're just flat out wrong. Hitler and Mussolini both absolutely despised religion. Mussolini in particular delighted in assailing the Roman Catholic Church. Hitler thought that the Christianity had been the poison which sapped the purity of the Germanic peoples. The Nazi regime was socialist, very much opposed to all religions.

      Lumping in Franco with Nazis and Mussolini is disgusting. He did some pretty bad things, but Spain didn't turn into a puppet of Stalin, and he handed power over to a democratically elected government after his death. In the shitty shitty 20th Century, you could do a lot worse then living in Spain.

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