Psst, if you're a terrorist, don't read this story.
Five Transportation Security Administration workers at Southwest Florida International Airport have been fired and another 38 suspended after an internal investigation found they failed to perform random screenings last year.
The 43, a combination of front-line screeners and supervisors, represent about 15 percent of the roughly 280 TSA employees at the airport. The number of workers involved makes it one of the largest disciplinary actions TSA has taken in its 10-year history, TSA spokesman David Castelveter confirmed.
But travelers and all other people shouldn't worry, because it doesn't really matter that they don't follow procedure:
"It's the random secondary that did not happen," [a TSA spokesman] said. "At no time was a traveler's safety at risk and there was no impact on flight operations."
I'm not sure which is supposed to less of a relief: That gold-bricking workers finally got the heave-ho or that 15 percent of an airport's TSA crew could be goofing off without effecting security. Either way, it seems, we - the tax-paying traveler - lose.
ReasonTV's TSA vid playlist. Spoiler alert: Intermittent groping ahead.