Ask A Libertarian is Back


Got a question for a libertarian? Then give it your best shot on Tuesday, June 12, when Reason's Nick Gillespie and Matt Welch answer any and all queries, such as:

Should anything be banned?
Aren't libertarians just Democrats who hate poor people?
Do you really want to legalize Heroin?
Who will you be voting for in November?
Where did you get that blouse?

Gillespie and Welch are the authors of the book The Declaration of Independents: How Libertarian Politics Can Fix What's Wrong with America, out in paperback June 26

On Tuesday, from 11AM ET til 4PM ET, Gillespie and Welch will receive questions via Facebook, Twitter, and email, and, with the help of Reason.tv's crack team of videographers, will post rapid-fire video responses to your most probing and provocative queries.

The lines are open, so think up your toughest question and send it our way.

To ask via email, send to letters@reason.com
To ask via Facebook, go to Reason's Facebook page
To ask via Twitter, send to @reason
To ask via YouTube, comment to this YouTube video

And on the day of the event, we'll scan the comments section at Hit & Run and our Ask a Libertarian page.

About 40 seconds. Produced by Meredith Bragg.

Visit Reason.tv for downloadable versions and subscribe to Reason.tv's YouTube Channel to receive automatic updates when new material goes live.

NEXT: The Lousiest ObamaCare Defense You'll Read Today

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Why do libertarians always want to be first?

      1. I guess third best is good too.

        1. Second AND third best!

    1. Wait i am a libertarian...i can answer these questions.

      Why do libertarians always want to be first?

      Inferiority complex and we've been down so long that it looks like up to us.

      1. Plus, you know, we actually are first no matter what anyone else says.

  2. Homesteading?

    1. Homesteading?

      yes....but really only in 3rd world countries.

      Like at Brazilian favelas.

  3. Is inflation still inflation if it is hidden by price drops due to declines in demand?

    Also Reason mustache contest? Did it happen? or am I indulging in conspiracy theories?

  4. "Why are there so few female libertarians?"

    1. Maybe they should try sending out a free fireman of the month calender with every yearly subscription.

      1. Better yet: "Leather Wearers of Reason."

        1. Twelve bitter old men in chaps? Exactly what sort of women are you trying to attract? I say we build their hopes up and hit 'em with the ole switcharoo.

          1. Woah there, you're thinking of the wrong uses of leather. Think more along the lines of.... leather jackets. And pants. RAWWRR!!!! (That was a sexy growl.)

            1. And monocles.

    2. There can be only one!

      And her name is Virginia.

    3. "Why are there so few female libertarians?"

      Women like safety....and the dems and republicans have been preaching alarm for so long that women are in constant fear and paralyzed by it.

    4. Married one. She generously credits me with her "awakening," but I could see it inside, all along. Life is good.

      1. Gives me hope...

        1. I married a libertarian woman as well. Met her right here on HnR and got married a couple of months later.

          And as an added bonus: she was a Size 2P with 34-DD's when we met and her jugs are even bigger now that I knocked her up 12 weeks ago.

          Thanks, God.

          1. Congratulations on your impending daddy-hood. And on your wife having big breasts, too, I guess.

          2. Congrats, you bastard. Ex-wife was 34-DD AFTER reduction surgery (something ridiculous like 38-HHH when preggers with my little sweetheart), but she's a Democrat "just because".

          3. Have fun when she gets older.

          4. Congrats. I met a girl on HnR and she had no legs and was missing a breast.

      2. The future Mrs. Pi is a recent convert. Now she's getting to be really good at it!

    5. a female libertarian friend told me awhile back that the reason is because women politic with their hearts,me politic with their dicks...

      1. *men*..........wheres the edit button??

    6. The answer is obvious. Monocles cause premature crows feet around the eyes, and top hats give us hat hair.

    7. Politics tends to be more of a man's domain, as women just tend to be less interested in the subject.

  5. Who is John Galt?

    1. Who is John Galt?

      Some rapist architect. I have not read the book but that is the impression I get.

      1. No, if anything John Galt is the rapee. Keep it straight.

      2. Wrong book. That's Fountainhead.

  6. Should anything be banned? Just Government, Rap Music and XL Thongs.
    Aren't libertarians just Democrats who hate poor people? Do Sociopaths really hate?
    Do you really want to legalize Heroin? HELL'S YEAH BITCHES!
    Who will you be voting for in November? The higest bidder.
    Where did you get that blouse? My slave made it from baby seal skins.

    1. Should anything be banned? ...Rap Music and XL Thongs.

      Snoop Dogg has a dim view of this bullshit.

  7. How come I have an appendix, but I don't have an index or table of contents?

    1. +2, extra good one!

    2. How come I have an appendix, but I don't have an index or table of contents?

      Cuz the book of your life is not finished yet.

    3. You have an index finger, and that's close enough. If you sign up to be an organ donor, upon your death your contents will be on the operating table. To anticipate a question: yes, you have pages, at least that's what you call them as they shine your monocle and true the rim of your top hat. But we all know it's a fancy word for slave.

  8. Why aren't there any Chinese breakfast places? Do the Celestials not break their fasts like the white man?

    1. Why aren't there any Chinese breakfast places?

      Cuz they put eggs and ham in their lunches and dinners.

    2. Why aren't there any Chinese breakfast places?

      You've never heard of dim sum?

      1. Eh, really more of a "brunch" type thing, and even then, only in far southern China. I tried going to a dim sum place in Xian once and it was awful. The stuff in HK was like heaven on earth.

        1. True, but who the hell goes to a "breakfast place" except for brunch?

          1. Waffle House, motherfucker.

  9. Shouldn't fire alarms go off before there is a fire?

    1. Another winner!

    2. Shouldn't fire alarms go off before there is a fire?


  10. Is there such a thing as eating too much roughage?

    1. Is there such a thing as eating too much roughage?



      Sorry I did not use the reason link for this.

      1. Is it dangerous? I'm kind of surprised body modification folks aren't doing it on purpose.

    2. You know who else ate too much roughage?

      1. No

      2. Grandpa

  11. Why is the Reason L.A. office in such a drab glass box? YOu guys should spend the cash and move into a creaky Gothic mansion.

    1. Why is the Reason L.A. office in such a drab glass box?

      So Tim can watch the homeless people outside.

      1. Win. +100.

      2. Ayn called it "Ruthlessly Efficient"

  12. Fuck, WarrenT, you are just on fire!

  13. What about ask a Mexican Libertarian?

    1. Old mex is unavailable as he is working hard on his plot to corner the silver market.

      New mex is a left leaning libertarian so we only want to hear about 50% of what he has to say....plus no one is sure if he is even a Mexican...could be just some white dude who lives in New Mexico.

      1. I guess the original Ask a Mexican, Gustavo Arellano, graduate of UCLA's Masters program in Latin American studies, is nowhere near being Libertarian (enough), despite having been featured in Reason. El Sigh.

  14. Will the top-two primary in California soon kill third parties there, if it hasn't already?

  15. Why can't there be more than one Highlander?

    1. Easy: In Physics, we know that "Quickening" is a conserved quantity. It can neither be created nor destroyed and, like mass, it tends to consolidate. So, eventually, all "Quickening" will reside at a central point: The Singular Highlander. Were you sleeping in class, bro?

      1. You both were apparently sleeping through the entire series. "Highlander" was only the moniker of Connor (and later Duncun) MacLeod. Collectively, they were simply known as "Immortals."

        1. I use the vernacular when discussing the topic with the general public. Those of us in the know understand "Immortals." But that takes some explanation, for which few non-fans have patience. Practically everyone knows what you mean when you say "Highlander." Sort of like discussing libertarianism. If you insist on talking about the Non-aggression principle, you put people to sleep. If you say "Freedom," or "you get to decide," people's eyes light up.

  16. What is Lobster Girl's phone number and what will it take to get me into her pants?

    1. Well, Marshall, the standard answer to such a question is that there isn't room in Lobster girl's pants as there is already one asshole in there!

  17. Whats the deal with airline food?

    1. When did you ever get "food" on an airline?

      1. When I used to fly Varig business class. Man, I miss that.

  18. Actually, fun as this is, I have an actual question.

    How do you hope to achieve libertarian ends, in a democratic society in which the vast majority of the populace are unabashed statists? I don't mean, "Well we just need to educate them", I mean, they know Bloomberg, know his agenda, and reelect him, because they want this. How do you account for dealing with the majority of humanity, who has no problem using the gov't to punch you in the face and take your shit to enforce their beliefs?

    1. I say everytime someone comes up with a new law or entitlement, we should propose something even more extreme until everyone is so downtrodden that they have no choice but to change. Thusly, Libertarians for bigger government.

    2. Night watchman state -- besides permanent, explicit supreme law, nothing else, 'cause no legislature.

      Or just move to Somalia.

    3. The point isn't to win. It is to offer an alternative solution after the TEAMS run things into the ground. We don't need to achieve Libertopia, just keep things from going too Commie.

  19. Now that there is a tea party who needs libertarianism?

    1. The Tea Party are just Republicans who are justly ashamed of George W. Bush.

      Libertarians do not experience shame.

      1. As evidenced by your moniker.

  20. Why do my farts smell good, but everybody else's farts smell bad?

  21. Why do libertarians say "cunt" all the time?

    1. Because they want to antagonize and totally alienate all the fragile little motherfucking statist sunflowers in the world, who we must accommodate by being ever-so-tender, lest we push them away.

    2. To keep women as far away from us as possible?

    3. To annoy Ken Shultz.

    4. Because the expulsion of breath and the vulgarity of sounds from the hard consonants is cathartic and almost musical...

      1. Agreed, and much better than a bilabial fricative.

        1. For those not, "In the know."

          I personally prefer a Bronx Cheer, myself.

  22. Why do libertarians think they know better than elected officials?

    1. Why do statist twat weasels think they know what's best for everyone?

      1. "consent of the governed"

        1. Not my consent.

          I didn't agree to any of this shit.

        2. In any given election, the majority of people generally do not consent to those who are elected (the highest voter turnout since 1962 was 60.8% in 1968, and most politicians aren't elected with even 80% of the vote). And even the ones who did vote for the jackasses in charge don't agree with everything they do.

          1. Man, Reason really needs an edit button...

            That should be 1960, and 1960 had a higher voter turnout - 63.1%. My point stands, however.

            1. Even still, there's no way my rights are a popularity contest.

              I wouldn't care if voter participation was 99%, and 99% of the voters all agreed!

              ...my rights still wouldn't be a popularity contest.

              1. True. But it's a lot more fun to show they're full of shit using their own standards.

          2. Typical turnout is 50% of the Registered voters which misses a lot of adults who in theory are competent to vote. Many elections are only won with about 50% of the voters due to the 2-party schism in our country and some votes going to fringe parties. So at best 25%, possibly less than 20% really choose the candidate that wins.

            Many people are one issue voters. They want to force religious crap on others or they have some program that will benefit them they want to support. Not surprising at all. Just sad. Many voters are not well informed and believe the spin bites put out by politicians and parroted by brainless media. Then to top it off, often politicians don't really do what they said they would and are rarely called out for it.

        3. Most think that's a typo: "contempt of the governed". (Apologies if this obvious joke has been said before...)

        4. If the "consent of the governed" is good enough for rapacious taxation and a police state (you local SWAT goons were approved by your wise elected officials) why isn't it good enough for government workers to have their wages and benefits set?

          So you'd be fine if your "elected officials" voted for the extermination of the ethnic group you belong to? After all, your "elected officials" must know better than you what your puny life is worth.

        5. So you're running on "we haven't shot you yet"?

          I guess it's something...

    2. Why do elected officials think they know what's best for me?

      1. Because election to political office endows them with moral and intellectual infallibility. Get with the program, anarchist1222222222222222222

        1. Even if they did know what was best for everyone as a group, how would they know what was best for me in my situation?

          I'd rather make those choices myself.

          1. I was being totally sarcastic, Ken. They don't know, and can't know, shit about what's good for groups OR individuals, which is why statism fucks shit up.

            Of course, Husseinus Obamus Barackus Imperator Caesar Americanus knows best, because he's special!

            1. Vote for the lesser of 3 evils: Cthulu 2012!

              1. Obi-Want 2012 - Our only hope!

          2. Hell, even if they knew what was best for me personally, why would I be such a damned fool as to think it would make a whit of difference to them, rather than what they think is going to improve their lives and electability as much as possible?

    3. This is a spoof, right?

      1. Naah, it's Nando; it's the real thing, depressing as that is.

      2. I don't know, can someone spoof himself?

    4. Nando|6.9.12 @ 5:37PM|#
      "Why do libertarians think they know better than elected officials?"

      *Everybody* knows better than politicos.

      1. Even the people who vote for them?

        1. You keep presuming politicians are altruistic, kind, and never have their self-interests at heart, Nando.

          IMO, politicians aren't people... they LOOK human, but once they get elected they turn into soul-money-and-power sucking creatures who view every grown adult as nothing but toddlers... and income sources.

          This goes for virtually every one of them, of both political parties, and of both sexes and any skin-tone variation.

          But do go on and tell us they're only looking out for us.

    5. Shorter Nando: "I live to lick and grovel before the sweet, spiky stiletto heels of Big Mama State."

  23. What do you do if it starts raining, and you're wearing a leather jacket?

    1. Turns the jacket inside out, Seinfeld style.

  24. Why do libertarians want to force gold hegemony on everyone else?

    1. I thinks some libertarians advocate that becasue they're sick of debt hegemony being forced on everyone else.

      1. The USD is an asset, not a liability. Of course gold is an asset too. But when the rest of the world values your currency more than others that country is at an enormous financial advantage.

        1. Hey, I know there are good arguments on both sides of that debate. I was just answering the question.

          I think the best arguments on the goldbug side of that debate have to do with fighting inflation and discouraging the accumulation of debt.

          Being used as a reserve currency is great at a time like this, no doubt. But have you seen the national debt lately?

          Yikes! They're gonna tax us to pay a big chunk (at least) of that debt sooner or later, right?

          1. The national debt is a fiscal issue we can blame on successive Congresses. It is not a monetary issue.

            1. The gold standard acts as a check on government deficit spending as it limits the amount of debt that can be issued. It also prevents governments from inflating away the real value of their already existing debt through currency devaluation.[44] A central bank cannot be an unlimited buyer of last resort of government debt. A central bank could not create unlimited quantities of money at will, as there is a limited supply of gold.[38]



              1. There is nothing to stop Congress from borrowing $15 trillion worth of your fictitious GoldLoons much as it has borrowed $15 trillion USD.

                Nothing, that is, other than the limited supply of GoldLoons.

                But conversely growth would be limited to the supply of GoldLoons as well.

                Look at the chart for M3. Our wealth has exploded far past the available supply of gold.

                All the gold ever mined is worth about $9 trillion today. US personal net worth is over $60 trillion.

                1. I hear all those arguments, too. And I'd only add that the same impulse that made us go off the gold standard in the first place would still be in play. The first time Congress thought the political advantages of going off it outweighed the advantages of staying on...

                  She'd offer her honor. We'd honor her offer. Then we'd jump on her and off her.

                  It's the same impulse that makes Congress raise the debt limit periodically.

                  But! Those are the best arguments for the gold standard, I think, and those are the reasons why some libertarians advocate the gold standard.

                  I think that was the answer to the question: Why do libertarians want to force gold hegemony on everyone else?

                  Incidentally, I think some smaller countries with smaller economies would benefit from a gold standard for exactly those reasons.

        2. The USD is an asset, not a liability. Of course gold is an asset too. But when the rest of the world values your currency more than others that country is at an enormous financial advantage.

          AFAIK there were only two previous points in time where a fiat currency was the defacto reserve currency for any large area.

          First is the dominate era of the Roman Empire and the second was the Yuan dynasty in China. Both ended very badly.

          I really don't see any reason to believe that it will be different this time, although I do acknowledge that timing the collapse is impossible and that it is most probably decades away.

          1. Also, has anyone been paying attention to the news that our status as reserve currency in central banks has been slipping? We get away with a lot of financial shenanigans because the dollar was once an almost universal reserve currency. That's not so much true anymore, and what happens when the bottom drops out?

            1. Well... the Euro has been the main threat to the dollar as reserve currency, but the Euro is currently going into the shitter even faster than the dollar.

              When Krugman's aliens get here, we'll switch to the Uno, or gold pressed latinum, or soylent green.

    2. Why do libertarians want to force gold hegemony on everyone else?

      Because they mistakenly believe that a gold standard would be a hard brake on government spending.

    3. Actually we don't, we just want it to be an option. In a FREE market, the MARKET decides which is the favored unit of exchange. In many cultures past there have been several competing coins in the same marketplace which have competed for favor for among the participants. It keeps the producers of those coins honest and prevents degradation of the purity of the metal used. Libertarians advocate allowing the participants of the market to choose which medium of exchange suits them best. Historically, it has always ended up being gold or silver that ended up being the favorite in a FREE market.

    4. Because you can't just print more gold when you've run out of other peoples' gold.

  25. Which is why democracy is fundamentally illiberal. There's a fucking reason the United States are a republic, and a republic not in the stupid bullshit sense the rest of the world seems to understand that word.

    It's fucking extraordinary that alcohol prohibitionists felt they needed a constitutional amendment to ban alcohol, isn't it? Because that silly libertard idea would have been laughed out of Congress were some silly little freedom-lover attempt to remind it of the fact that amendment are fucking mandatory, and the only path to, additional powers for the government.

    1. *to attempt to


    2. If only an Amendment had been required to make marijuana and cocaine illegal. Prohibition did it correctly as loathsome as the idea was. Of course that bad idea was soon corrected.

      In my view the Controlled Substances Act is not Constitutional.

      1. If only an Amendment had been required

        It was. It always was, is, and always will be. The difference is that not enough Americans then gave (and now give, too) a fuck , and in practical terms, the Constitution only means as much as people think it means. And that's fucking awful.

        Thank Gaia for democracy, I guess. Drink.

        1. Yep the progressives killed the constitution by imagining that it was a living document.

      2. Who are you and what have done to Sarah's Poop Shoot Stopper?

  26. Wait, I thought we were Republicans that like to smoke pot? When did the cabal change this on us?

    1. That line was invented by Republicans to explain their own embarrassing lack of support for liberty, but we're nothing like they are.

      When we talk about being devoted to individual rights, we really mean it.

      1. I know about 10 Republicans -- people that are very close to me -- that hate Romney, and all but one is voting for Ron Paul. Am I the only person here that knows morally upstanding Republicans?

        1. Holy shit, too much alcohol. *Are.

          1. No, my mother is one of them. She is also voting for Ron Paul.

            1. With Paul in November, it may have to be a write-in. Not sure if that even works in today's election booths and then I'm not sure if it would be honored.

          2. There are some honest Republicans now. They see it all clearly when they're out of power.

            Slide back in the archives to 2004 or so--when their guy was in the White House. See what happens when libertarians question Dear Leader's use of surveillance against American citizens...

            All of a sudden we libertarians are a bunch of terrorist sympathizing traitors.

            Watch what happens when we start criticizing Bush Jr. for the biggest expansion of Medicare in history up to that point by way of the prescription drug benefit...

            All of a sudden, we libertarians are gonna quibble about trifles while Al Qaeda is working to take over America and make all of our women wear a burka.

            Believe me. I've seen it. Once they get their man in power again? Us libertarians will all be much worse than chopped liver. As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow.

            1. And when I say Republicans, I mean hardcore, Barry Golwater-loving, Lincoln-lionizing Republicans.

              They'll cringe at the mere mention of the LP, yet they're so hardcore, they're full-on libertarians. The real tea party breed that got pushed aside by impostors in many places.

              Fuck, I wish they took over the Republican Party.

              1. They gotta do something about the South.

            2. The reason that the GOP abuses libertarians so is that so many libertarians are such saps. The GOP knows that if they give enough lip service to libertarian rhetoric, enough of us will hold our noses and cross our fingers -- "maybe THIS time..." -- then pull the lever or mark the X to endorse several years of their rule, during which, they will go ahead and do whatever it was they had planned to do all along. Our only real power is in solidarity. I think Gary Johnson's campaign has the right idea. He is asking not just Libertarians, but everyone who thinks the country is going the wrong way, and who knows that it won't be set straight by either of the two major party candidates, to "be Libertarian" with him, just for this one election. The Demos and GOP have lost their claims to our loyalties; their appeals for our votes are insincere and unconvincing. We the people must stand firm and make a third choice. This is the year.

        2. 2/3 of Republican voters hate Romney.They'll crawl over broken glass to vote against Obama though.

    2. Could also be Dems who like guns - no?

  27. Why is your answer to this question going to annoy lewrockwell.com?

    1. Because they're the number one visited libertarian site and we're number four?

      1. Why do you think that is?

        Is it because of all the neoconfederates and joo-haters they have over there?

        1. I was told that all libertarians are neoconfederate, jew haters. So, it can't be that.

          His involvement with Ron Paul and Alex Jones might have something to do with it.

          1. No, I think a lot of the Rockwell people think we're a bunch of traitors to the cause because Reason more or less outed the Ron Paul newsletter issue and more or less pointed the finger at Rockwell as being the true author--as I recall from my fallible memory...

            So, Hit Run Reasonoids aren't really on the guest list over there--since we're not generally down with the whole neoconfederate/antisemitism thing. I mean, who the hell would find that sort of thing appealing?

            Oh, we can argue about the Civil War with the best of 'em--and there's lots to give Lincoln the thumbs down over. But the aesthetic is...different.

            1. I'm kind'a bi-lib when it comes to the reason-Rockwell split.

              Rockwells's neo-confederate apologetics make me cringe every time I see them. Just STFU already, your not going to get anyone to become a libertarian with that bullshit, right or wrong.

              Further, the whole the end of the world neigh shtick it very tired.

              However, the LvM site that they also run is excellent. And occasionally they link to unusual an informative articles.

              Reason, in contrast, posts more original and topical content, but there is definitely a legacy media or maybe, more accurately, a left wing, bias to their reporting. I suspect that happens because employment at Reason.com is seen by the employees as a stepping stone in their journalistic careers.

  28. Here are the answers to many of your questions here, in no particular order:

    Don't count on it.
    It is decidedly so.
    Reply hazy, try again.
    Outlook good.
    Outlook not so good.
    Signs point to yes.
    Vagina, sometimes penis.
    Concentrate and ask again.

    1. I think they use this same Magic 8-Ball to decide policy as well.

  29. Is there a way to properly make mayonnaise at home? It seems really hard, and I'm about to go buy some of this really fancy mayo (the owners told me so!) for about $10 per 6oz.

    What say you, libertarians?

    1. You're one of those people that has a series of graphs on your bathroom wall illustrating the appropriate bodily stances and positions, right?

      /Not serious, just in case the sarcasm is invisible.

      1. No.

        Just a guy looking for yet another epic rant out of sloopy.

        I'm insanely pissed at eBay today for pulling some new corporate policy bullshit which includes withholding funds until after delivery has been confirmed (something they've never done in over a decade of selling things on eBay). I've contacted them, and they wouldn't do anything about it and openly said "we're not going to do anything at all to alleviate this situation for you, and if that makes you mad, we don't give a shit that you're going to close your account with us." It's arrogance writ large.

        So I was looking for a sloopy rant to settle my nerves before the children go to bed and I can engage in alternative forms of stress alleviation.

        1. Your wish has been granted. See below.

    2. Nobody should eat mayonnaise, let alone make it at home. Try aoli instead - garlic, lemon juice, salt, olive oil, and good (trustworthy) egg yolks. Whisk by hand.

      1. I fucking hate mayo. I'm a Miracle Whip kind of guy.

  30. How do libertarians justify putting profits ahead of people?

    1. Why is it that liberals base their entire political philosophy on bumper sticker slogans?

      1. I see what you mean since I put a 'Darwin' decal on my old touring car.

        It sums up us liberals nicely -and pits us directly against the other side.

        1. Palin's Buttplug|6.9.12 @ 7:00PM|#
          "I see what you mean since I put a 'Darwin' decal on my old touring car."

          It'd make more sense if you had any idea what it meant.

          1. You idiot POS. Darwin is my fucking hero (along with Tom Waits).

            1. Tom Waits? You mean the guy whose entire catalog is based upon ripping off Captain Beefheart and Harry Partch?

            2. Palin's Buttplug|6.9.12 @ 8:30PM|#
              "You idiot POS. Darwin is my fucking hero (along with Tom Waits)."

              It'd make more sense if you had any idea of what that meant.

        2. Typical self-identified "liberal" -- thinks there are only two sides.

          1. Evolution or GOP Creationist bullshit?

            Name another side, dipshit.

            1. Palin's Buttplug|6.9.12 @ 10:22PM|#
              "Evolution or GOP Creationist bullshit?"

              Got it. Darwin is a Dem, right?

              1. Darwin was open-minded therefore a liberal. Conservatives are close-minded.

                1. Goldwater wasn't a liberal, shrike.

            2. I know many "social gospel" lefty Christians who are creationists.

                1. So, you then admit you forgot the liberal creatiionists? Dumbass.

                  1. But left isn't liberal? Moron.

    2. How do libertarians justify putting profits ahead of people?

      Why do progressives denigrate people's individual rights out of one side of their mouths, and then claim to care about people out of the other?

    3. Nando|6.9.12 @ 6:45PM|#
      "How do libertarians justify putting profits ahead of people?"

      Does Nando have to be reminded to breathe?

    4. "How do libertarians justify putting profits ahead of people?"

      Your question presupposes that we do. You'll have to give a more specific situation to get a real answer. I'll give you three counter examples, however.

      1) The WOD is very profitable for the various gov't agencies that enforce it, and for the drug marketeers, but libertarians are against it.

      2) Military interventionism is very profitable for the military and the military industrial complex, but libertarians oppose it.

      3) Green energy subsidies are very profitable for the green energy business sector, but libertarians oppose them.

      1. "Military interventionism is very profitable for the military..."

        Every time I see my doctor at Walter Reed I see at least five new guys wheeling around with missing limbs. You have a strange notion of profit if you think we're seeing anything.

        1. He said the military, not soldiers. There is a difference. It's splitting hairs, but there is a distinction, or would you also say being against a particular deployment means that we don't somehow support the soldiers?

          1. It's a really fine difference, and there's a lot of overlap. There's a case to be made that the military institution benefits from war, but I would need to hear it said that way to infer that meaning. No question the complex benefits.

            1. I was referring to the military as a government agency. It is profiting by having its budget increased each and every year mostly due to our policing the world. With regard to the soldiers, this is a perfect example of how libertarians actually put people (soldiers, in this case) before profits while both liberals and conservatives apparently don't.

              1. Withdrawn, then.

    5. Because I don't have to justify shit to anyone. It's my goddamned body, my fuckin' labor, and my money. So fuck off, you collectivist cunt. I'll set fire to my motherfuckin' money before giving it to "the people," if I want, motherfucker. (And if you were being sarcastic, Nando, don't take my response personally. But if you were serious, please kindly go fist yourself.)

      1. I understand your anger, but that kind of answer accepts his premise. The premise is absurd and is easily contradicted. We are libertarians precisely because we DO put individuals before profits or anything else.

        A liberal's idea of how to put people before profits is to redistribute wealth in the name of "social justice" (never mind the dependency and demoralization it creates). Ours is to empower peopoe through liberty, responsibility and achievement.

      2. Needs more "fuck off, slaver."

  31. 1) What's the deal with Oprah?
    2) What's the difference between a grape?
    3) If you're driving at the speed of light, and turn on your headlights, does anything happen?
    4) Is 1 REALLY the loneliest number?
    5) When will the damned Detroit Lions finally win a fucking Super Bowl? As a football team - not hosting one as a city.
    6) BONUS WUESTION: Which is a worse abomination - the "Desiganted Hitter" rule or the "No Celebrating in the Endzone" rule?

    1. 1) She's fat, she's thin, she's fat, she's thin. For God's sake, pick a body and stay with it!

    2. 6# DH rule, by light-years.

      1. I really don't understand the DH hate. Do you guys think all of Major League Baseball should make the pitchers hit?

        Personally, I like that aging players who can't effectively field anymore can extend their careers a bit by DH-ing for an American League team.

        1. The DH takes what little strategy is in baseball out.

          An AL manager is more like a group therapist and HR manager.

          1. only somebody who doesn't understand baseball could claim it has little strategy.

            1. MLB is checkers compared to NFL chess.

              1. Some of us prefer to play Go.

              2. Palin's Buttplug|6.9.12 @ 9:30PM|#
                "MLB is checkers compared to NFL chess."

                OK, describe the infield-fly rule.

                1. There is no strategy involved in the infield fly rule, you moron. A batter is simply declared out.

                  Calling a squeeze bunt would be strategic,

                  1. I'd go as far to say that the infield fly rule discourages strategy.

      2. Yup. And I'm an O's fan.

        Go Fighting Showalters!

    3. 3) You outrun the radar and the red light cam. Congratulations!

    4. 1) She was hyped as being a living god and was really nothing more than a shit producing mortal.
      2) What do grapes have in common?
      4) Depends on the social interacting abilities of the person being asked.
      5) When Jesus emerges from the sky and comes through the West gate to take his throne in the millennium kingdom.
      6) Since I don't watch baseball, "No Celebrating in the Endzone."

    5. 3) Not with the infinite time dilation.
      4) I think i is. It doesn't even exist!
      6) I like them both. I hate end zone celebrations, and I'm an AL guy.

    6. 6) BONUS WUESTION: Which is a worse abomination - the "Desiganted Hitter" rule or the "No Celebrating in the Endzone" rule?

      Neither bother me. I'm still lobbying to return match-fighting TO THE DEATH.

    7. 3) That's a really good question, because from your point of view, we imagine that time seems normal. But from someone else's point of view, you are frozen in time. So do you actually ever even turn on the headlights? When do you do that? Does the concept of "when" even have any meaning in the context of this question?

      1. I know one thing: shaving's a bitch when your mirror's going at the speed o' light.

  32. Will this be like the various "Ask A... (food critic, bee, wiccan)" features on The Onion?

  33. Do wiccans really perform all of their rituals naked?

    1. Because they have to deal with idiots every day.

      1. (slow clap)

      2. I'll drink to that!

    2. Man, this explains so much.

    3. Because we see what's up with the world, and recognize our inability to fix it?

  34. OT:
    Since Obama really wants to be re-elected, who do you think is going to end up bailing out the most recent euro-flakes?
    "And U.S. President Barack Obama, facing re-election, enduring a weak economy and in need of strong trading partners, expressed strong concern late Friday over the European economic crisis."

    1. Not the USA. Don't be stupid. No one in Congress would vote for such bullshit.

      1. Palin's Buttplug|6.9.12 @ 8:28PM|#
        "Not the USA. Don't be stupid. No one in Congress would vote for such bullshit."

        Just like no one in Congress voted for Obamacare? Like they didn't vote for TARP?
        Sorta like that stupid, stupid?

      2. So, the Federal Reserve?

  35. Bigger embarrassment on Jeopardy!? Thomas Friedman or Kareem Abdul Jabaar?

    1. Thomas Friedman.

  36. Do you feel that the Dewey Decimal System is a still a relevant way of organizing publications in the Internet age?

  37. the question shouldn't be

    1) do you want to legalize heroin

    the better question is

    1) should people be imprisoned for making the choice to use heroin, a decision that solely affects their own bloodstream, and should be as much a matter of personal autonomy as their choice of sexual partner...

    and frankly, if heroin weren't licit, many of the "problems" we see with heroin would dissappear

    not that vancouver's experiment went swimmingly, but the idea of jailing people for what they choose to put in their body is simply bad policy, and against liberty.

    it is neither conservative nor liberal

    it's statist

    1. Majority of public: the better question is STOP USING YOUR BRAIN!!!

    2. Wow. I just didn't see this one coming from your keyboard, Dunph.

      Good show!

  38. the 72 virgins awaiting the jihadist in heaven,are they male or female,...or human at all??

    1. According to the Jami' al-Tirmidh, the houri are:

      a most beautiful young woman with a transparent body. The marrow of her bones is visible like the interior lines of pearls and rubies. She looks like red wine in a white glass. She is of white color, and free from the routine physical disabilities of an ordinary woman such as menstruation, menopause, urinal and offal discharge, child bearing and the related pollution. A houri is a girl of tender age, having large breasts which are round (pointed), and not inclined to dangle. Houris dwell in palaces of splendid surroundings.

      1. How can breasts be round AND pointed?

        1. *points Anacreon to internet*

      2. . She looks like red wine in a white glass. She is of white color

        If I ever die for Allah, I'll be sure to yell, 'hey, where the white women at?' when I get to Paradise.

        Nothing wrong with a smooth alabaster complexion, esp. on a brunette, these bitches, however, sound spooky.

      3. So, they're sex robots?

      4. Hmm ... this description seems to fit clear-lucite sex robots or aliens. Nothing I hope would welcome me in heaven. Creepy. Maybe someone should commission a "Chariots of the Gods" type of analysis of the Koran.

    2. I've always felt that, if I died for my deity, I'd want a few that had some experience.

  39. why is an interstate highway called an interstate highway when it begins and ends and never leaves a state???[I-45 in tx,for example]

    1. Easy.
      If they didn't lie about "interstate", how could congress-criters get HI reps to vote for their fave pork!

  40. You and the Reason staff are on a ferry. Another ferry containing prisoners is near you. The Joker wires each ferry to explode, but gives you the detonator to the other ferry and promises to let you live if you press the button. What do you do?

  41. OK,in all seriousness...if we could pass a constitutional ammendment requiring,by law, that all citizens have to have a belief in libertarianism,would us libertarians support it???
    my 15 year old neighbor asked that one...

    1. This is why the voting age is not extended to those young enough to think Green Day is "punk" "rock."

      1. hes not into punk music.....buy he thinks Eminem is 'old school' rapper....

        1. WIH is an 'old school' rapper? Is it someone who can't keep time? Who doesn't have enough tats? Whose ear drums are damaged from the base gain?

      2. Ha.

        Like it or not, Green Day is punk rock. They're the perfect example of style over substance

        1. Like it or not, Green Day is punk rock

          Highly debatable.

    2. txgypsy|6.9.12 @ 9:08PM|#
      "OK,in all seriousness...if we could pass a constitutional ammendment requiring,by law, that all citizens have to have a belief in libertarianism,would us libertarians support it???
      my 15 year old neighbor asked that one..."

      OK, in all seriousness, no. Such a requirement is the opposite of libertarianism.
      We laugh at shithead, call him names, point out his lies, but no one here suggests he should be outlawed.

      1. I tried to explain it to him, but he keeps falling back on "if it was conservatism instead, repubs would strongly support it..." i try my damndest to show him that unlike left or right wingers,libertarians realize that short term it my help the cause but long term it would destroy everthing libertarians believe in...(freedom liberty)
        he claims to be a libertarian, but he has a lot of growing up to do....but still i try to show him..
        . And so you know, my response to him was that it would have NO support from libertarians because of the use of govt coersion....not sure if he gets it yet..............

        1. txgypsy|6.9.12 @ 10:25PM|#
          "I tried to explain it to him, but he keeps falling back on "if it was conservatism instead, repubs would strongly support it..."

          Get him to post here and explain how a libertarian POV would include outlawing different views. There'll be plenty of folks howling with laughter.

    3. No, because this is akin to a 1st amendment violation.

      Better to convince people to pass two other amendents.

      1. Separation of Economy and State

      2. Consenting adults can do what they will with their own bodies as long as it does not infringe on rights of others.

      2nd one should take care of most issues with drugs and sex, but may leave abortion to be settled .... somehow.

      1. "2. Consenting adults can do what they will with their own bodies as long as it does not infringe on rights of others."

        But their right to drink large cokes infringes on my right to get free health care from the government without paying too much because everyone else has giant medical bills.

  42. What's the deal with open borders? Isn't that, like, nuts?

    1. plu1959|6.9.12 @ 9:38PM|#
      "What's the deal with open borders?"

      What 'open borders'?

    2. What's the deal with closed borders? Isn't that, like, xenophobic, and paranoid?

      1. What's the deal with jerbs, and why dey were took?!

  43. What number am I thinking?

    1. The number of The Beast?

      1. 69.
        Or something.

        1. 867-5309?

          1. Damn you Tommy Two-Tone!

  44. Seriously - do you know who else wrote a book?

    1. Barack Obama?

      1. Barack Obama Bill Ayers?

    2. Dr Seuss?

  45. C's are shooting like shit. I don't know why I bothered with this pirate feed.

  46. This is a horrible boxing match.

  47. Why did most Reason authors vote for Obama and are they any smarter now?

    1. most Reason authors

      Is this true? There were a lot of non-voting editors.

  48. Does this look infected to you?

    1. For the last time, I am not going to look at your penis.

      1. C'mon, it's a genuine duck dong, f'chrissakes! You can't tell me you get a chance to goggle at one of these babies every day!


  49. Sloopy and I are going to open up a pizza place. How much more should we charge for our deep dish than our thin crust?

    *grabs a bag of popcorn*

    1. Ask shithead. He "knows" what the price of anything "should be".

      1. Which one?

    2. Price the deep dish as low as you can so that the poison you put in it can be disseminated as widely as possible.

      1. deep dish
        poison you put in it

        No need to be redundant.

    3. Depends how many liberal tears go into each pie.

    4. How much more should we charge for our deep dish ...

      What people are willing to pay for it, maybe?

    5. Your lowest paid employee should earn the minimum hourly income necessary (based on 40 hours a week) to afford housing, food, utilities, transport, health care, and recreation. Say, $12.50 an hour.

      1. You REALLY do know what's best for everyone else,don't you?

        The main premise behind the libertarian/classical liberal philosophy is a variant of the Golden Rule. Often paraphrased as "Mind Your Own Fucking Bizness"

      2. Every employee should be paid no more than the amount the loss of their labor would decrease your bottom line. If they don't like it, they can find a job where they're contributing rather than being a burden.

        1. I'm wondering why he doesn't demand, say, a thousand bucks an hour as minimum wage. Why not? Let's go hog-fuckin' wild with the handouts!

      3. $12.50/hr? Because, you know, the dollar goes just as far in NYC as it does in Peoria.

        OMD but are you ever a douche nozzle.

  50. Who killed the chauffeur in The Big Sleep?

    Chandler forgot to resolve that in the book and when asked about it for the movie adaption, didn't know either...

  51. Would you rather hear a doctor say "I've never seen this before" or "whoops"?

    1. Whoops, because that can turn into $$$$

      1. This. The only thing a new disease gets you is your name associated with a disease. That's assuming the doctor's not just ignorant.

    2. I've never seen a completely perfect human being before? Less likely than bad news though.

    3. My doc said "Whoops" while he was performing my vasectomy!

      Apparently it's some sort of urologist joke.

  52. What was in that briefcase in Pulp Fiction?

  53. Do libertarians accept the validity of social structures that are larger than their individual constituents?

    Or more specifically,

    Is there such a thing as a culture

    Or a society

    Is the nation-state concept valid or illegitimate to libertarians?

    1. Yes, provided the institutions are voluntary. Or maybe not even that is necessary - I think there's room under the libertarian umbrella for a small coercive state.

      1. Is a culture something that you voluntarily join, compelled to participate with or born into and oblivious of its existence?

        1. I think you tend to pick up the one around you, and there's strong social pressure (which is not coercion) to participate, but you are free to join another once you gain the practical ability to do so (usually adulthood).

    2. The concept of "Society" with a capital S existing as a singular unit with needs, desires or a will is a fallacy that is used to fool weak-minded people into doing stupid shit like voting away my rights and taking my money at gunpoint to help poor, ailing Society.

      1. Good answer.

        Even better would be:

        ...to fool weak-minded people into doing stupid shit like voting away their rights and taking their money at gunpoint...

    3. Sure, those things exist. And they aren't all bad, so long as they're considered in perspective. But only individuals are ends in and of themselves. The law was made for man and not man for the law.

      The nation-state is valid insofar as there are understandable reasons for them being the dominant mode of political organization, but perhaps with the right technology, we could find a better political scheme that builds on the benefits of federalism (that is, increasing the consent of the governed by having more people be able to live under a system of laws they favor).


    *back to drinking*

  55. Anyone not picking Pacquiao tonight?

  56. 1) What is the most libertarian thing a libertarian could stuff into his "prison wallet" before the statists lock him up?

    2) Why do French thrillers have no climax, yet French dramas are nothing but climaxes?

    3) Does the Ron Paul button come with the plaid jacket, or is it the other way around? Same question, but for bumper sticker and '93 Corolla.

    4) How much should I read into Ron Paul naming his son "Rand", the South African currency, which is the world's largest producer of gold? Is he more or less libertarian for doing so?

    5) What separates libertarian fashion from steampunk fashion? "New Wave" is not an acceptable answer.

    1. I'm guessing Rand was named after Ayn Rand.

      1. I guess RAND corporation

        1. How about Rand al'Thor?

        2. It is short for Randal.

          1. Well that's boring.

            1. The part of Buzz Killington will be played by Banjos tonight.

              1. I believe my post below is about my tenth giving the correct version of Rand Paul's name since he become a feature here.

                It's actually not that hard to verify as darius404 points out below.

          2. I just read that his wife started calling him that while they were dating.

            1. He went by Randy when he was campaigning for his Dad in 1988. He was just about to start his residency at the time.

              I always assumed he decided that Randy was a stupid name for a grown man but if Bill is correct then it was his wife that did that.

        1. Meh. Wild speculation is much more amusing.

    2. What separates libertarian fashion from steampunk fashion?

      Polyester and gunts, mostly. Lots of copper too. Steampunk is a subset of Goth culture and fashion, and was inspired some by the Industrial music movement (NIN, for example) and is the most ridiculous of Goth fashions (I opted for a more "traditional" Goth look back in the day). Rivetheads are another and more in line with Industrial.

    3. I have to admit I preferentially buy South African gold coins over US Eagles or Canadian Maple Leafs because I like that they are called "Rands".

  57. 1: Will the refs ensure a Heat win in the NBA Finals like they did in Game 7 of the ECF?
    2: Why don't teams squeeze bunt more often?
    3: If two people are riding a tandem bike drunk, will they both get a DUI if the stoker is riding no-hands?
    4: Who thought Jurgen Klinsmann was a good hire?
    5: Why all the Pixies hate?
    6: When will Brooklynites rise up and rid us of the scourge of these Mayonnaise-making hipster motherfuckers that are capitalizing on the stupidity of other hipsters by making the simplest condiment in the fucking world at $10 for a sample-sized jar? I mean seriously? I don't know how many of you heard about this yet, but those motherfuckers are making fucking mayonnaise now. And yes, free-range and organic is cool, but when I ran a high-end kitchen, my lowliest garde manger cooks made it because it was easier than plating salads. But no, these cocksuckers open a fucking mayonnaise store...nothing but mayo for the dopey-assed hipsters that can't boil a fucking egg or microwave a bag of Pop-Secret to save their life. But they'll have a fridge with a jar of this shit in it right beside some vegan artisinal chocolate and/or a bag of freeze-dried wasabi peas (which actually sound good) and finally a jar of honey made from bees that are raised on rooftops in Brooklyn also and gather the nectar from filthy, fucking plants in the grimy shithole of NYC.

    1. I can't lay that on the refs. From what I saw the Celtics took bad shots and couldn't make plays in the second half. That was worthy of a Jim Mora rant.

    2. My dad eats freeze dried wasabi peas. Not a fan, but I really don't like wasabi, so I'm probably not the one to ask.

      (Wasabi reminds me of the smell of an ancient permanent marker I found when I was 1ittle, and I can't stop making that association).

    3. When will Brooklynites rise up and rid us of the scourge of these Mayonnaise-making hipster motherfuckers..

      Where you see a hipster motherfucker,

      I see an entrepreneur.

      Godspeed and good luck to them.

    4. Hipster mayonnaise, it'll make your cold cuts cool.

      1. Also, there's Pixies hate? Why?

    5. the scourge of these Mayonnaise-making hipster motherfuckers that are capitalizing on the stupidity of other hipsters

      Not to defend hipsters... but Vanderbilt ave = rich Park Slope liberal yuppie NYT-Magazine reading scum.

      Fine, yeah, I live in Williamsburg, but its not territorial defense of hipsters... its correctly identifying the ENEMY. If you want to bitch about hipsters, at least know one when you see them. In the Wild America taxonomy of shitty-new-yorkers... this is an improper classification.

      1. There's a picture of them on their mayonaise blog* and they look pretty hipsterish. But not all disease-y like regular hipsters, so maybe they got cash. Big, big mayo type cash.

        *I puked on my pants thrice typing this phrase

  58. The orphans at my monocle factory are demanding higher quality gruel. Should I succumb to their demands?

    1. Yes; grind up some of the orphans to augment the standard issue stuff.

    2. Are they making more profitable monocles?
      If so, yes. Otherwise I'm going to hire them for my monocle factory.

    3. Demands? My orphans just thank me as I whip them.

    4. Fire them all, burn the factory, collect the insurance, re-open on small SE Asian island with cooperative principality government.

  59. What's your opinion on hydraulic fracking?

    1. hydraulic fracking? might as well call it high rolling fucking, you libertines.

    1. THe judges suck

      1. Hell, she is not even legally emancipated but a resident in an orphanage! You're sick Superman!

  60. Who killed Edwin Drood?

    What did happen to Judge Crater?

  61. Is libertarianism without the non-aggression axiom possible?

    1. This would require every actor to pursue the same ethos and reconcile the notion of competing rights, which is something no ethos or political system can do definitively without human nature kicking in (fear, and envy, which is bourne of fear, specifically).

      I would say, ultimately, no. Doesn't mean I can't observe it (and I do), but others who want my skills and properties at the point of a gun? Not so much.

  62. Why don't chicken breasts have nipples?

    1. They aren't mammals.

      1. So what's in this bottle of chicken milk I got at the farmers' market?

  63. What are the chances that a society as complex and entrenched as the United States can be reformed into a libertarian model? Would it be more satisfying to attempt to build one from scratch? Why have previous attempts to build libertarian societies in far flung areas of the globe met with failure? Have all of them failed?

    1. We were Libertarian to start with. It took a lot of sneaky finagling on the part of Statist assholes to turn the U.S. into the nearly-communist misery camp we now know. STARVE THE BEAST!

    2. Hearkening to the "conflict minerals" comment in a previous thread: would we be well off doing some serious colonial shit in Africa? Is it even theoretically possible to engage in Libertarian Colonialism? (That is, is the concept possible, or is it totally self-defeating?)

      Possible line of reasoning here: Move a mining corporation to the Congo, set up an operation, and make sure to have enough guns on hand to tell the "government" of the Congo to fuck off when they try to tax you into oblivion.

      The democracy lovers would probably never let you get away with it, though.

  64. I, too, Matt and Nick, have a serious coupla few questions:

    1) How do you convince a populous to adopt a freedom based ethos (libertarianism) that hinges on the possibility of an unfavourable outcome over one that purports to guarantee one (commie soc collectivism, and with very mixed and monstrous results)?

    2) How do we convince others that medical care is not a plenary, inalienable, human right and that their health is their responsibility?

    3) What can we do to make Libertarian reasoning superior and appealing over Utilitarian reasoning?

  65. Addendum to 1) "...purports to guarantee a favourable one...", e.g. medical care, education, employment, 'access', etc. and other so-called 'rights'..."

  66. That jsut looks like its gonna be fun!


  67. Dear Libertarian,

    What about dynamite vests? Is it okay to initiate force against someone who strapped a vest of dynamite to their chest? Would it be okay if a sniper took him out preemptively with a headshot? Or must we be content with trying to sue for restitution out of what's left of him when he pulls the pin?

    Yours truly,

    1. Odds are that the wearing of the vest can reasonably be construed as a threat of violence. That threat would be an initiation of force itself, so killing him would be justified.

    2. Are you deliberately being obtuse or do you just ask stupid questions? Hmmm.

      A foundation of libertarian principle is one based on personal property and your right to defend such. Property does not get any more personal than the life of you or your family.

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  70. How Can I Get a Loan because these days we have lots of problem with this condition.

  71. What about intellectual property? It seems to me that its a great way to keep other people from improving on your idea, and thus would keep competition at bay. But at the same time, it IS your idea. What is a libertarian response to IP rights?

  72. Certains superstars sont m?me all?s jusqu'? faire des collections qui d?passent les centaines et parfois m?me 1000. Si vous ?tes d?sireux de commencer une collection de chaussures de sport ou tout simplement l'espoir de trouver la paire appropri?e ou deux, puis l'air conduit ? ceux qui doivent fr?quemment ?tre la premi?re position vous recherchez. Quelle que soit la couleur ou le style et le style que vous recherchez, ces baskets poss?dent d?velopper largement dans d?nomm? roi de tous les baskets. Collectionneurs, les fanatiques et les consommateurs mod?r?s exactement la m?me chose ont soutenu et aim? ce nom de marque pour les 25 derni?res ann?es, et assez peut-?tre pour les 25 suivants ainsi.

  73. Often Libertarians come accross as anarchists. Shelden Richmond, who is a brilliant guy and writes very thought provoking essays, often sounds like no government at all is necessary. Shouldn't we libertarians talk more about the rule of law, about how lawless the Liviathan has become and how Madison's "if men were angels" maximim is still valid. For instance if Ron Paul (and Harry Brown before him) hadn't been for a gold standard, might they not have fared better?

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