The Best Answer to Crackdowns on Medical Marijuana? A Medical Marijuana Vending Machine.
Crackdown on the medical marijuana industry, will you, Obama's Justice Department? Here comes the world's best response: a medical marijuana vending machine. This means that weed joins such bracingly irreverent items as beer, cupcakes, and Plan B birth control which can be found (and sometimes objected to) in vending machines across this nation.
Sadly for those who regret their sobriety at 3 a.m., notes LAist, "Autospense," made by Dispense Labs, is serious about security. Only medical marijuana patients are allowed and you need more than exact change for this here machine:
Firstly, to use Autospense, you must have a medical marijuana prescription and be registered with a participating dispensary. Machines will sit outside participating dispensaries for the monthly cost of $1,500 to $2000. Patients must swipe their registration cards, then enter a PIN number -- just like using an ATM (only a different form of "green" is dispensed). The machine accepts cash, credit or debit, and once payment is received, a door opens granting access to the herbal remedy. You can take an AutoSpense Walkthrough on the company website.
Pot pilferers, lower your hopes. When the dispensary closes, the machine will be guarded by a cage that can only be opened by the swipe of a registration card. [Dispense Labs CEO and founder Joe] DeRobbio also noted advanced security features, including fingerprint recognition, cameras and purchase tracking.
The Dispensary Group is "committed to raising the level of legitimacy and accountability in the medical marijuana industry," according to the website, and is "comprised of forward-thinking business leaders, healthcare advocates and technical experts."
The ad below is so purposefully bland that it seems like a parody of something. Clearly they're trying to preempt the stoner joke potential of a weed vending machine. (LAist joked that it's a pity Autospense is so far from the famous cupcake vending machine.)
The smooth-voiced narrator urges viewers to "visit Autospense.com for your nearest autospense location" but for the moment the machine is only available outside one medical marijuana dispensary in Santa Ana.
Reason on medical marijuana
Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.
Please
to post comments
Further proof that legalization will make mj boring.
The smooth-voiced narrator urges viewers to "visit Autospense.com for your nearest autospense location" but for the moment the machine is only available outside one medical marijuana dispensary in Santa Ana.
Here comes those Santa Ana winds again....
Is there nothing that cannot be sold via vending machine?
Vending machines?
No, they're fully recursive.
Prove it.
Go to any vending machine and lean it towards you. When it begins to fall over, you'll see a line of machines behind it.
Can you provide me with a video demonstration?
I think it's something you have to experience yourself. After all, video can be faked.
If you're not willing to prove your theories, ProL, no one will respect your science-fu. Remember, ProL: there is no mercy in this dojo.
Dude, I was just kidding! Oh, crap, I think I killed Episiarch.
Everyone in Seattle, please lift any vending machines that have fallen over. Unless you prefer deep-dish pizza; then you should leave them where they are.
Stupid threaded edited nested moderated animated-GIFless comments.
That should teach you to spout baseless, unproven theories, ProL. Look at what happens. The comments system falls over on you.
You know, I warned you, but as always, you didn't listen. This is just like that time with the superglue and your anus.
You may fool others, but you can't fool me. You're commenting from under a vending machine, only supported by the strength of an erection lasting more than four hours. You hope.
You're commenting from under a vending machine, only supported by the strength of an erection lasting more than four hours. You hope.
Yet another med fun fact: Yes, you can fracture your penis!
And here we see the Canadian doctor, who supplied Episiarch with this surprisingly life-saving medication. Is there nothing you can't do, doc?
He was even able to take care of that problem with the superglue and your anus. The doc really is a miracle worker.
I'm not the one with the superglued anus, Episiarch. You should've paid the doc for his drugs.
He's still trying to fool us don't ya know. He meant "fracture your paenis."
I can hear the "eh," like a distant moose howling in the wind.
It's nothing to be embarrassed about, ProL. Everyone makes mistakes. Especially you.
That's an odd remark for a man pinioned under a vending machine supported only by a slowly detumescing penis.
Quick, send Episiarch pictures of extremely attractive women! Unclad, for the love of God, unclad!
I fully support this suggestion.
We should follow this suggestion so you can continue to fully support.
That won't help; after it's fractured it ain't going up, it's forever going LEFT.
It already did that.
I'M NOT CANADIAN! I DON'T EVEN LIKE TIMBITS!
Only a hort-addled Canuck would even know what those are.
Yeah, you just made a fatal mistake, Kraft Dinner-eater.
Reason discusses Timbits. Where I first learned of such a thing.
In mother Russia, vending machine sells you.
Er, wait...
In Soviet Russia, machine vends YOU!
/Yakov
Better.
I likee, except that I think "Soviet" and "vending" don't go together.
State controlled, centrally planned distribution, AKA "vending".
"advanced security features, including fingerprint recognition, cameras and purchase tracking"
LOL
This seems so much more convenient than the current system of having a friendly acquaintance drop it off at your house anonymously. Forget that higher quality bud is available for cheaper on the black market; I can't wait to sign up!
Higher quality? Not likely.
Legalization will make it less cool,especially when your grandparents can buy seeds in the Gurneys Catalog with their sweet corn and tomatoes.Ironically you can't find a vending machine for alcohol or tobacco products in this country anymore.
Au contraire.
Ah,but can you find a working model of the once ubiquitous cigarette vending machines anyplace besides in the back of a dusty old barn on an episode of American Pickers?
I want one that sells baby fingers and monocles, Dammit!
It's Belated 4/20!
If the feds are going to confiscate the property of landlords who rent to MJ dispensaries, how long do these brilliant entrepreneurs expect their vending machines to last sitting out on the sidewalk?
Actually, i think the more boring and non-descript they can make medical mj, the less resistance thyey'll have. Fill a city street full of neon marijuana leaves you're gonna get some folks resisting to that. Have non-descript doctore offices seling it, less so.
I'm not saying that's right I'm just talking about reality.
Sometimes you just gotta throw your hands up in the air and cry Whos your Daddy!
http://www.Net-Anon.tk
A vending machine for medical marijuana will be very controversial.It will be difficult to control people getting cannabis in the machine.Local Local medical marijuana dispensaries is still the best option.