Second Amendment

Chuck Norris and R. Lee Ermey Team Up with the NRA

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Chuck Norris and R. Lee Ermey want you to save the Second Amendment. Or else.

The two actors have been starring in videos for "Trigger the Vote," a voter registration campaign. Sponsored by the National Rifle Association, Trigger the Vote is aimed at youth voters (well, figuratively speaking).

Ermey was most famous for his 1987 role as Gunnery Sgt. Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, while Norris was once a meme (and a TV Texas Ranger). Norris has been politically involved before, endorsing Mike Huckabee in 2008 and Newt Gingrich in 2012. He has also said some nice things about Ron Paul.

Despite Michael Bloomberg's efforts, gun control doesn't seem to be a top priority for the Democrats in 2012. In fact, gun rights are becoming more popular among Americans. Back in October 2011, a Gallup poll found record low support for gun control, including bans on handguns and "assault" rifles: 73 percent of Americans opposed banning handguns, while 53 percent were against a ban on semiautomatic weapons. Meanwhile, only 39 percent of voters under 30 favored increasing gun regulations; back in 1991, that number was 62 percent. 

Reason on gun rights. Thaddeus Russell on how gun control can be conservative.

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  1. Voter registration drives are stupid, like “Vote or Die”…or this. They just get people registered, who then still don’t vote. Which is good.

    Still, WERE YOU ABOUT TO CALL ME AN ASSHOLE?!?

    1. I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.

      1. I don’t like the name WTF, only faggots and sailors are called WTF. From now on you’re Gomer Pyle.

        1. Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

          1. Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece of shit, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

            1. Your days of fingerbanging old mary jane rottencrotch are over!

              1. “You know, half of these gook whores are sworn members of the Vietcong. The other half got TB. Make sure you only fuck the ones who cough.”

          2. 5’9″!? I didn’t they could stack shit that high!

            1. *I didn’t know they could stack shit that high.

              Damn, no Ermey’s gonna hunt me down and verbally berate for 2 hours straight until die from humiliation. Been nice knowing you guys…

            2. You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.

        2. What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn’t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

          1. Now choke yourself!

          2. Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I’ll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!

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  2. Only two things come from the first comment…

  3. Hartmann, Nick. German, not Gewish. IMDB, how does it work.

    1. “Jewish”. D’oh! But then I don’t write for a living.

      1. Pretty sure that’s somebody’z law in action.

        1. RC’z, because the error is funnier than the intended word.

  4. I’ve been saving my new Blu-ray version of Full Metal Jacket to watch with the boy, but I may go ahead without him this weekend.

    1. Tell him Animal Mother is Uncle SugarFree’s favorite.

      1. Adam Baldwin has been grossly underutilized.

        If we can’t have Firefly, can we have either an Animal Mother series (set during or post Vietnam) or a Jayne Cobb spinoff?

        1. There are some good Cobb-ish moments in Chuck.

          1. He needs to be a lead.

        2. a Jayne Cobb spinoff

          I’d watch the hell out of that.

          1. It’s even got a ready-made theme song!

            1. We gotta go to the crappy town where I’m a folk hero

      2. Emrey isn’t the only personality referenced in this post, so this happens:

        When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he already had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

        1. Now you’ve done it.

          Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.

          1. Chuck Norris is actually the eleventh biblical plague. He is not mentioned in Exodus because no one survived to write about it

            1. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

              1. so can the Stig.

              2. Chuck Norris is like a Tsunami; if you see him coming, it’s already too late.

      3. Crazy Earl is Old Soldier’s favorite.
        “I love the little commie bastards, man. I really do. They’re as hard as slant-eyed drill instructors. They are highly motivated individuals… These are great days we’re living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we’re gonna miss not having anyone around that’s worth shooting.”

      4. A jelly doughnut!

    2. The best part will be when he tells his mom, “I’m in a world of shit.”

    3. What will your wife say when he goes “How can you shoot women or children? Easy! You just don’t lead them so much!”?

    4. I’ll pay you $100 if you get video of him asking his momma if she’ll sucky sucky. Come on. $100.

      1. I’m in for another $100.

        1. I’ll throw in another $50 if he asks mom if dad is “too beaucoup.”

          1. It’s going to take more that $250 for me to submit to that kind of never-ending abuse.

    5. Isn’t the first part the only part really worth watching?

      1. Did you really just type that?

        1. Oh but I did. Other than the “lead ’em less” part, I cannot recall watching that much more of the movie.

          1. Then you’re an idiot. The sniper sequence is fucking amazing. And Kubrick’s excellent framing and shots, which didn’t get showcased in the boot camp part, is completely on display.

            I suggest rewatching the film, and watching the whole thing.

            1. Pearl Harbor is a vastly superior war film.

              1. It’s certainly vastly something.

                1. Look, we all know that Transformers is the finest war movie ever made, okay? Let’s not have that fight again.

                  1. The greatest war film of all time is Jaws: The Revenge, you moron.

              2. Vastly superior at being a piece of shit?

                Seriously, FMJ is film-making at its best.

                1. We should’ve frozen Kubrick so that he could make more movies.

                  1. Million-dollar idea: Kubrick movies…in 3D!

                    1. Million-dollar idea: Kubrick movies…in 3D!
                      Starting with A.I.!

                    2. No, we’re starting with Eyes Wide Shut and you’ll bloody well like it.

                    3. That was better than fucking A.I..

        2. And look at where 98%+ of the quotes come from.

          1. Well, yeah. The cool part of war is playing with the destructive toys and getting pumped up in training. I imagine it’s a somewhat different experience when the shooting starts. This is part of, if not the entire, message of FMJ.

            1. The other message – San Diego looks more like South Carolina than the UK looks like Vietnam.

          2. Son, all I’ve ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It’s a hardball world, son. We’ve gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.

      2. Watch it again. Both parts are amazing.

        1. There are three parts. Boot camp, messing around in Vietnam, the Battle of Hu

          1. I AM BECOME DEATH

            1. Only Animal Mother would quote the Bhagavad Gita. Isn’t that the line where The Destroyer got its name?

              1. Well, him and Oppenheimer.

                And the physicist may have a better claim.

                1. So what? It’s even better if the Animal Mother was quoting a nuke-builder.

        2. Both parts are hilarious and ridiculous.

      3. The bootcamp part is the better half of the movie, I agree, but Pearl Harbor? Really?

        The real reason why the Japanese bombed Pearl was that they had gotten just as sick of the fucking love triangle as the rest of the audience and were hoping to kill both Assfleck and Josh Hartnett just so they wouldn’t have to put up with it anymore. What a festering piece of shit that movie was.

        1. The bootcamp part is the better half of the movie, I agree, but Pearl Harbor? Really?

          No wonder people like trolling. I must resist its power…

        2. The Boot Camp sequence is great until Pyle shoots Hartman and himself. I just can’t factor that.
          (A few days before graduation, recruits turn their rifles back in to the armory. Right after graduation, Marines leave PI for school or leave – they are Marines now – they don’t go back to fuck with their DI another night)

  5. Is there any movie with as many great quotes as Full Metal Jacket? I’m not aware of it if there is.

    “You climb obstacles like old people fuck!”

    1. deliberately?

    2. “Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don’t look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down”

    3. Most of that is on account of Ermey. Read this, third one down.

      1. Ermey rules. I remember years ago Howard Stern had him on his show and had Ermey berate everyone. It was hilarious.

        1. I got to meet him a few years ago when they filmed the Knob Creek episode of “Mail Call.” He was very polite and well spoken, but he was also looking very tired from walking around the shoot/show all day.

        2. Ermey is awesome because he’s the real deal – Drill Instructor and Vietnam Infantry Vet.

          Marine DI’s are incredible, they literally yell and beat the civilian out of recruits for 3 months. 24 years later and I can remember the name of every one of my DI’s – including the guy who got us off the bus – Drill Instructor Staff Sergeant Strawberry, who made a kid cry within 5 minutes. (Crying in front of a DI has the same effect as bleeding in front of a shark).

      2. Stanley Kubrick was well known for having a very small crew on set. On one occasion, after the electrician finished lighting a set, Kubrick told him, “Okay, this is how I want the scene lit and I’m not going to change it.” Kubrick then sent the man to fix some wiring in his house.

        #WINNING

      3. Colceri never got to play the role, as former US Marine Corps Drill Instructor R. Lee Ermey, consultant for the Marine Corps boot camp portion of the film, performed a demonstration on videotape in which he yelled obscene insults and abuse for 15 minutes without stopping, repeating himself or even flinching – despite being continuously pelted with tennis balls and oranges.

        I didn’t know the detail of the tennis balls and oranges. I wonder if that video is floating around on the internet.

        1. Damn – just think about how long 15 minutes really is if you’re trying to yell insults and abuse continuously without repeating yourself. I mean, just time it on your watch.

          1. It’s a long time but those guys have material for days.

            The funniest one I heard went like this

            Recruit calls DI “you” and DI comes over and screams.

            Do you know a you is? A you is a female sheep. I bet you like to fuck female sheep don’t you. A female sheep has a little hairy asshole. I bet you like little hairy assholes. Do you want to fuck me boy?

            The whole squadbay was crying and trying its best to keep from laughing. I damn near bit though my lip to keep from laughing.

            1. Fucking hilarious. That is definitely a special talent.

          2. And imagine if they’re aiming at your nutsack.

        2. Ermey willed himself into a film. A Kubrick film. He’s like fifty Chuck Norrises.

          1. Plus he only did his scenes in 2-3 takes. Kubrick must have absolutely loved the guy.

            1. That’s got to be unique in Kubrick films.

      4. R. Lee Ermey was involved in a jeep accident during the making of the movie. At 1:00 a.m. one night he skidded off the road, breaking all the ribs on his left side. He refused to pass out, and kept flashing his car lights until a motorist stopped. In some scenes you’ll notice that he does not move his left arm at all. Stanley Kubrick claimed in an interview that it took four and a half months before Ermey could return to work in which production simply had to be suspended since he was involved in all the remaining scenes

        Fucking alpha.

    4. Hmmm… someone should do a study on this. Monty Python and the Holy Grail and The Big Lebowski are mentioned quite a bit.

      1. Caddyshack

        That’s the ugliest hat I’ve ever seen! Oh it looks good on you though.

    5. The Princess Bride and Spaceballs

      1. Fletch, Blazing Saddles, Vacation, Animal House?

        1. Fletch was the quote movie when I was in college.

          1. I watched Fletch just about everyday of my junior and senior years of high school. Am I proud of this “accomplishment”? Hell yeah!!!

            1. Got the whole fist in there, Doc?

    6. Pulp Fiction?

      ‘Cause it ain’t there, ’cause storing dead niggers ain’t my fucking business, that’s why!

      Look, you brought her here, and that means that you’re giving her the shot. The day that I bring an OD-ing bitch over to your house, then I give her the shot. Give her the shot.

      If I’m curt with you it’s because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please… with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.

      1. You hear me hill-billy boy? I ain’t done with you by a damn site! I’m gonna get medeival on yo’ ass!

    7. I maintain that the seq between boot camp and Saigon is the greatest seg in cinematic history.

      When I saw FMJ in the theater, I realized that I had been holding my breath for the entire boot camp sequence. I started breathing again when Nancy Sinatra started singing.

      1. I first saw the movie when I was 15 or 16, and it made me think seriously about enlisting. There’s probably never been a more effective recruiting tool for the Marines.

        1. I saw the movie the first time a week before I shipped out to Parris Island. It freaked me the fuck out.

          Saw it again a couple of years later – hilarious.

    8. “You’d better flush out your head, new guy. This isn’t about freedom; this is a slaughter. If I’m gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is ‘poontang.'”

      1. “Now, back off, white bread! Don’t get between a dog and his meat.”

  6. Less beloved, but his role in The Frighteners was funny.

    1. Sergeant Hiles: What in the hell are you doing in my graveyard? You have been told to stay away! Sound off like you’ve got a pair!
      Frank Bannister: Yeah, well, it’s a public place, Hiles.
      Sergeant Hiles: I do not like you! You cannot bring your spooks here without my permission! Disappear, scumbag!

  7. Gun control….ugh. I had an experience not two hours ago that illustrates the mentality of gun control supporters.

    I go by to see a friend. We debate alot of things, somehow that ended up as gun control today. She thinks unfettered gun ownership results in bloody chaos. I point out empirical example after empirical example showing that it does not. I point out that the basic premise of gun control ( that guns cause violence ) is wrong. People do.

    The debate goes on and on, but in the end she sticks to her guns, literally – She asked me before I left if I would please check and clean the revolver I lent her for self-defense in her home.

    1. Did you check and clean her revolver?

        1. That was a euphemism, right?

          1. Actually it was an euphemism!

        2. That means you fucked her, right?

          1. The question is: who were the five other guys that cleaned it earlier?

            Or something.

    2. The emotional argument for gun control is impervious to facts and logic.

      1. No kidding. I got so frustrated I could feel my face burning, and in no time had a screaming headache. five more minutes and my head would have exploded.

    3. How come she fells it’s OK for her to have a gun which she obtained outside of state-controlled channels if she opposes others having same? Oh, wait. Liberal. Laws are for those other, less enlightened people.

      1. I started reading your post and in the first few fractions of a second my jaw started dropping. In the back of my mind the question was forming ” How can you even ask that?”.
        Then I read the end.

      2. Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the tofu. Be nice to Lucy.

  8. What does the “R” stand for? Anybody know?

    1. “Ronald,” according to his Wikipedia bio.

    2. Rage.

    3. “Rapture?”

  9. And I highly recommend “The Short-Timers” by Gustav Hasford. These stories were the basis for FMJ.

    Kubrick lucked out with casting in both this and Dr. Strangelove. Sellers was originally set to play Major Kong (Slim Pickens’ role) but broke his arm and couldn’t move around the aircraft set so they cast Pickens instead.

    1. My library doesn’t have it, and it’s sky-high on Amazon. Unless I missed a more reasonable edition.

      1. Ostensibly, this is the full-text of The Short-Timers, from some russian site.

        It’s been a few years since I’ve read it, but it mostly sounds correct.

    2. It may be out of print, which would explain the high price. Get your library to ILL it, or buy a used copy if they are reasonably priced.

  10. Every time I hear Slim Pickens mentioned I think of a photo I saw of him once holding a Kentucky Long Rifle he had made. It was beautiful and had some of the finest Birds eye maple in it I have ever seen.

  11. It is scary that even Ermey has a wider acting range than Norris.

    1. I dunno – what other roles has Ermey played other than a repeat of his FMJ character?

      That said, Chuck Norris plays himself, like, in real life and all the time, which is pretty bad, if you think about it.

      1. I dunno – what other roles has Ermey played other than a repeat of his FMJ character?

        http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000388/

        Batman: The Brave and the Bold (TV series)
        Wildcat
        ? Crisis: 22,300 Miles Above Earth! (2011) ? Wildcat (voice)
        ? The Golden Age of Justice! (2010) ? Wildcat (voice)
        ? Menace of the Conqueror Caveman! (2009) ? Wildcat (voice)
        ? Enter the Outsiders! (2009) ? Wildcat (voice)

        2011 X-Play (TV series)
        ? Bulletstorm Special (2011)

        2010 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (TV series)
        Walter Burlock
        ? Trophy (2010) ? Walter Burlock

        2010 An Okay Place to Eat (short)
        Sergeant Cereal

        2010 Batman: The Brave and the Bold – The Videogame (Video Game)
        Wildcat (voice)

        2010 Toy Story 3: The Video Game (Video Game)
        Army Sarge (voice)

        2010 Toy Story 3
        Sarge (voice)

        2008 Eleventh Hour (TV series)
        Bob Henson
        ? Agro (2008) ? Bob Henson

        2005-2008 House M.D. (TV series)
        Colonel John House / John House
        ? Birthmarks (2008) ? Colonel John House (uncredited)
        ? Daddy’s Boy (2005) ? John House

        2008/II Solstice
        Leonard

        2007 SpongeBob SquarePants (TV series)
        Warden
        ? The Inmates of Summer/The Two Faces of Squidward (2007) ? Warden (voice)

        2006 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
        Uncle Charlie Hewitt / Sheriff Hoyt

        2006 Shark Bait
        Jack (voice)

        2006 X-Men: The Last Stand
        Sergeant (voice)

        2005/I Man of the House
        Captain Nichols

        2004 Father of the Pride (TV series)
        Bunny
        ? One Man’s Meat Is Another Man’s Girlfriend (2004) ? Bunny (voice)

        2004 The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy (TV series)
        Drill Sergeant / Sergeant
        ? Bully Boogie/Here Thar Be Dwarves (2004) ? Sergeant (voice) / Drill Sergeant (voice)

        2004 Y.M.I.
        John

        2003 Kim Possible (TV series)
        General Sims
        ? Rufus vs. Commodore Puddles (2003) ? General Sims (voice)

        2003 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
        Sheriff Hoyt

        2003 Fillmore! (TV series)
        Colonel Thrift
        ? South of Friendship, North of Honor (2003) ? Colonel Thrift (voice)

        2003 Rocket Power (TV series)
        Madison
        ? Cinco de Twisto/Saving Lt. Ryan (2003) ? Madison

        2003 Willard
        Mr. Martin

        2002 Birdseye
        Sheriff Gathers

        2002 Invader ZIM (TV series)
        Sergeant Hobo 678
        ? HOBO 13/Walk for Your Lives (2002) ? Sergeant Hobo 678 (voice)

        2002 Frank McKlusky, C.I.
        Jockey Master (uncredited)

        2002 Scrubs (TV series)
        Janitor’s Father
        ? My Old Man (2002) ? Janitor’s Father

        2002 The Salton Sea
        Verne Plummer

        2002 Run Ronnie Run
        Lead Kidnapper

        2001 This Week in History (TV series)
        ? Red Flag (2001)
        ? The First Opium War (2001)

        2001 On the Borderline
        Capt. Elias

        2001 Taking Sides
        General Wallace

        2001 Scenes of the Crime
        Mr. Parker

        2001 Megiddo: The Omega Code 2
        President Richard Benson

        2001 Family Guy (TV series)
        Coach
        ? Mr. Saturday Knight (2001) ? Coach (voice)

        2001 Real War (Video Game) (voice)

        2001 Fallout Tactics: Brotherhood of Steel (Video Game)
        General Barnaky (voice)

        2001 The District (TV series)
        Jim Bodsworth
        ? New World (2001) ? Jim Bodsworth

        2001 Recess: School’s Out
        Colonel O’Malley (voice) (as Lee Ermey)

        2001 Saving Silverman
        Coach

        2001 Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex (Video Game)
        Wa-Wa – The Water Elemental (voice) (as R. Lee Ermy)

        2000 Jericho
        Marshall

        1999-2000 Action (TV series)
        Titus Scroad
        ? Dead Man Floating (2000) ? Titus Scroad
        ? Lights, Camera, Action! (1999) ? Titus Scroad
        ? Dragon’s Blood ? Titus Scroad
        ? Love Sucks ? Titus Scroad

        2000 Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins (video)
        Sarge (voice)

        1999-2000 Roughnecks: The Starship Troopers Chronicles (TV series)
        Sky Marshall Sanchez / Sky Marshal Sanchez
        ? Requiem (2000) ? Sky Marshall Sanchez (voice)
        ? Marooned (2000) ? Sky Marshal Sanchez
        ? Freefall (1999) ? Sky Marshall Sanchez
        ? Checkmate ? Sky Marshall Sanchez

        2000 Skipped Parts
        Caspar Callahan

        2000 The Chaos Factor
        Col. Ben Wilder

        1999 Toy Story 2 (Video Game)
        Sergeant (voice)

        1999 Toy Story 2
        Army Sarge (voice)

        1999 The Apartment Complex (TV movie)
        Frank Stanton

        1999 Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot (TV series)
        General Thorton

        1999 Avalanche
        Gary

        1999/I Life
        Older Sheriff Pike

        1997-1999 Cracker: Mind Over Murder (TV series)
        Lieutenant Fry
        ? Best Boys (1999) ? Lieutenant Fry
        ? The Club (1999) ? Lieutenant Fry
        ? If: Part 2 (1998) ? Lieutenant Fry
        ? If: Part 1 (1998) ? Lieutenant Fry
        ? An American Dream (1997) ? Lieutenant Fry
        See all 13 episodes ?

        1999 You Know My Name (TV movie)
        Nix

        1998 Maximum Bob (TV series)
        Col. Theodore Baker
        ? Wandalust (1998) ? Col. Theodore Baker

        1998 All Dogs Go to Heaven: The Series (TV series)
        Sergeant Yorkie
        ? Dogfaces (1998) ? Sergeant Yorkie (uncredited)

        1998 The Sender
        Colonel Rosewater

        1998 Gunshy
        Jerry

        1997 Starship Troopers
        Voice heard on speaker when troopers were receiving gear for battle (uncredited)

        1997 Switchback
        Sheriff Buck Olmstead

        1997 The Angry Beavers (TV series)
        Sergeant Goonther
        ? H-2 Whoa/Fancy Prance (1997) ? Sergeant Goonther (voice) (as Lee Emery)

        1997 Promised Land (TV series)
        Leo C. Greene
        ? The Promise (1997) ? Leo C. Greene
        ? The Collapse (1997) ? Leo C. Greene

        1997 Rough Riders (TV movie)
        Secretary of State John Hay

        1997 Weapons of Mass Distraction (TV movie)
        Billy Paxton

        1997 Dead Men Can’t Dance
        Sen. Pullman T. Fowler

        1997 JAG (TV series)
        Sgt Major Sauer
        ? Force Recon (1997) ? Sgt Major Sauer

        1997 Prefontaine
        Bill Bowerman

        1996 The Frighteners
        Sgt. Hiles

        1996 Soul of the Game (TV movie)
        Wilkie

        1996 High Incident (TV series)
        Tony Van Camp
        ? Till Death Do Us Part (1996) ? Tony Van Camp

        1996 Toy Story Treats (TV series)
        Sarge
        ? Army Men March (1996) ? Sarge (voice)

        1996 Toy Story (Video Game)
        Army Sarge (voice)

        1996 Love Is a Gun
        Frank Deacon

        1995 Dead Man Walking
        Clyde Percy

        1995 The X-Files (TV series)
        Reverend Patrick Findley
        ? Revelations (1995) ? Reverend Patrick Findley

        1995 The Simpsons (TV series)
        Colonel Leslie Hapablap
        ? Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming (1995) ? Colonel Leslie Hapablap (voice)

        1995 Toy Story
        Sergeant (voice)

        1995 Under the Hula Moon
        Lt. Col. J. P. McIntire

        1995 Space: Above and Beyond (TV series)
        Sergeant Major Bougus
        ? Pilot (1995) ? Sergeant Major Bougus (uncredited)

        1995 Se7en
        Police Captain

        1995 Leaving Las Vegas
        Conventioneer

        1995 Best of the Best 3: No Turning Back
        Preacher Brian (uncredited)

        1995 Savate (video)
        Benedict (uncredited)

        1995 Sweet Justice (TV series)
        Luke
        ? Bloodlines (1995) ? Luke

        1995 Murder in the First
        Judge Clawson

        1994 Tales from the Crypt (TV series)
        Sheriff
        ? Staired in Horror (1994) ? Sheriff

        1994 Chain of Command
        Benjamin Brewster

        1994 Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult
        Mess Hall Guard (uncredited)

        1994 Rise and Walk: The Dennis Byrd Story (TV movie)
        Mr. Byrd (uncredited)

        1994 On Deadly Ground
        Stone

        1994 French Silk (TV movie)
        Chief Crowder

        1993 The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. (TV series)
        Brisco County Sr.
        ? Senior Spirit (1993) ? Brisco County Sr.
        ? Pilot (1993) ? Brisco County Sr.

        1993 Body Snatchers
        General Platt

        1993 Sommersby
        Dick Mead

        1993 Hexed
        Det. Ferguson

        1993 Double Switch (Video Game)
        Lyle (the handyman)

        1992 Street Justice (TV series)
        Special Agent Landau
        ? Innocent Blood (1992) ? Special Agent Landau

        1992 Civil Wars (TV series)
        General Randall Bell
        ? Das Boat House (1992) ? General Randall Bell

        1992 Human Target (TV series)
        General Ferris
        ? Second Chance (1992) ? General Ferris

        1991 True Identity
        Houston’s Boss (uncredited)

        1991 Toy Soldiers
        General Kramer

        1991 The Terror Within II
        Von Demming

        1990 83 Hours ‘Til Dawn (TV movie)
        Glen Fairling

        1990 I’m Dangerous Tonight (TV movie)
        Lt. Ackman

        1990 Kid
        Luke

        1990 The Take (TV movie)
        Weller

        1990 The Rift
        Capt. Phillips

        1989 China Beach (TV series)
        Colonel Buster Darling
        ? Who’s Happy Now? (1989) ? Colonel Buster Darling

        1989 Fletch Lives
        Jimmy Lee Farnsworth

        1989 The Siege of Firebase Gloria
        Hafner

        1989 Demonstone
        Col. Joe Haines

        1988 Mississippi Burning
        Mayor Tilman

        1987 Miami Vice (TV series)
        Det. Sgt. Ernest Haskell
        ? The Rising Sun of Death (1987) ? Det. Sgt. Ernest Haskell

        1987 Full Metal Jacket
        Gny. Sgt. Hartman (as Lee Ermey)

        1984 Purple Hearts
        Gunny

        1979 Up from the Depths

        1979 Apocalypse Now
        Eagle Thrust Seven Helicopter Pilot (uncredited)

        1978 The Boys in Company C
        Sergeant Loyce (as Lee Ermey)

        1. Wall of Ermey!

          1. It had to be done.

            1. Definitely had to be done!

            2. No objection from me.

          2. Wall of Ermey!

            That will require some of BP’s “talents.”

        2. The link will suffice next time.

          Granted, I haven’t seen him in every role he’s been in, but from what I recall (in case the Pedant Police want to crack heads), a lot of those were basically gruff, grumpy badasses and/or military men.

          So, like I said…

          1. He has some range. Not a ton, but he has it. When he’s not being drill-sergeanty and is dressed in civilian clothes, you barely recognize him.

          2. The link will suffice next time.

            It seems others disagree.

            1. Ermeygasm.

            2. What is this majoritarian shenanigans?

              1. Also, fried chicken.

                1. That’s got to be one of those urban legends.

            3. Yeah, Ermey warrants a wall. A link is insufficient.

              1. Should’ve been in all caps, though, to emulate him shouting it at us.

        3. Geico commercial, in case you missed it.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..re=related

    2. I’d say that the oranges they pelted Ermey with have a wider acting range than Norris.

      1. I’d say that I could snap you like a twig.

      2. I never understood the draw of Walker: Texas Ranger, it was muy horrible. But for some reason retirees seemed to love it.

        1. The legal chick, Sherry (?), was bra-less about half the time. Kept waiting for Norris to rip off her clothes and do her in his humongous truck.

        2. Which made the references to it in Talladega Nights all the better.

    3. Can’t beat his character in Saving Silverman.

      Anyhow, I happened upon the Siege of Firebase Gloria one night. As an NCO, I enjoyed that one immensely.

    4. I give them both a pass acting wise since neither of them started out as actors.

      That and Chuck Norris, despite his age, could still kick the shit out of me until I was dead, and Ermey could verbally berate me until I wished I were dead.

  12. While you assclowns were discussing Ermey
    this happened

    1. WILL THEY EVER FIND THAT MOTHERFUCKING BOWL?????????????????

    2. I don’t know what this is.

      Where do I mail my decoder ring?

    3. Does anyone still care? I mean, anyone that isn’t retarded?

      1. I quit caring when I realized that fucker was going to die before he ever finished that series.

        Then he actually did die before finishing the series.

        Then I laughed at my fiancee who was still reading the series.

      2. I remember really enjoing Robert Jordan’s Conan books when I was a kid, and I remember the first few WoT books being cool. When they became nothing but braid-tugging and running after bowls, though, I lost interest.

  13. Meanwhile, only 39 percent of voters under 30 favored increasing gun regulations; back in 1991, that number was 62 percent.

    That’s because thereare more people under 30 who own guns or have fired guns now than in 1991.

  14. You have to admit the dude makes a lot of sense man.

    http://www.anon-dot.tk

  15. It’s actually not uncommon here in Texas to run into some self-described Liberal Democrats who are gun owners. I personally know one who used to teach concealed handgun classes.

  16. Anybody who had been in the Marines before FMJ hit the screens immediately knew Ermey was a former Marine a few minutes into the first scene. Not only did he have the words down but the delivery was in the X ring. It would probably surprise most civilians to know that his DI skills are probably only a bit higher than average.

    The Vietnam scenes, well, needed work but the general Marine attitude was captured well. However, Marines would not be shooting at random people from a helicopter because a) it’s wrong, b) helicopters fall out of the sky much easier than you might think – putting you in the back yard of the people you would have been shooting at, and c) they would prefer to save their ammo for people who would be shooting back – who generally would be popping on the agenda shortly.

    The biggest glaring authenticity mistake in the movie – for a former Marine – was the general who berated the main character. He looked like a civie puke – whereas most real Marine generals look like somebody you would be scared to shoot since it would probably only piss them off and out you at the top of their Thing to Kill Today list. Besides, high ranking officers do not berate enlisted men. NCO’s have that job and are much better at it.

    1. OK, it’s been years since I read The Short-Timers and I can’t remember if those scenes you find unauthentic were in Hasford’s book or not, but Hasford was a Marine and served in Viet-Nam. Kubrick did not serve in the military.

    2. Stanley Kubrick pretty much let Ermey write his own lines. That really surprised people because Kubrick had a reputation as a control freak.

  17. I want you two turds to clean the head. I want that head so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump.
    You do believe in the Virgin Mary don’t you, Private Joker?

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