Technology

Old Europe Downgraded; Van der Sloot Gets 28 Years; Moore's Law Broken, and More: PM Links

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Standard & Poor's downgrades France from AAA to AA+. Germany and the Low Countries avoid downgrade. Responses from French politicians range from responsible calls to reduce public borrowing to less helpful declarations of "financial war" against France. U.S., which weathered a downgrade in 2011, can only say "Bienvenue." 

Imperius Rex!

Joran Van der Sloot, apparently irresistible charmer of the jet set, has been sentenced to 28 years for the murder of the daughter of a prominent Peruvian businessman. Van der Sloot, whose game seems to have remained strong even after he gained notoriety as the presumptive murderer of Natalee Holloway, was convicted of killing Stephany Tatiana Flores Ramírez after meeting her in Lima casino. 

Dildo dilemma: Pennsylvania woman sues over being fired from a J&J Snack Foods plant, she claims, for wearing a prosthetic penis. Pauline Davis says she wore what the Philly Daily News calls a "device" while contemplating gender reassignment. Noting that a male co-worker who wore women's clothing and prostheses was not dismissed, Davis claims a discriminatory termination.

Did liberals kill comic books? Critic claims Aquaman's recent oil-rig-disaster storyline proves the DC universe has been poisoned by enviro-orthodoxy. When Falls the Coliseum says even a political agenda is beyond the capacity of the drones at Time-Warner. Neither comment mentions the Timely/Marvel universe, where Prince Namor has been avenging the Surface Dwellers' crimes against the sea since 1939 – and unlike Aquaman and J&J Snack Foods, Namor isn't afraid to show what's going on downstairs. 

Redevelopment unmourned by the same tired, poor, huddled masses it was supposed to help. Local "community development" activists explains why residents of distressed areas of Los Angeles have always gotten the worst deal from the city's redevelopment agency. 

Singularity arrives as IBM researches create smallest known information bit, consisting of only 12 atoms. 

Burma thaw: United States and Myanmar exchange ambassadors after dubious human rights progress in the closed nation.

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  1. Thirst!

    1. PM links at 3:30? Is this a freakin’ nursing home?

      1. It’s worse – Cavanuagh lives in California, which means he posted these at 12:30 PST. I look forward to reason liveblogging The Price is Right from the Country Kitchen Buffet next week.

        1. PLINKO BITCHES

          1. PLINKO is the greatest thing since Great came to Greattown.

          1. As far as I am concerned, these aren’t even “Evening Links”. Will Tim be posting “late night links” after “supper” from his computer machine while he sits on the davenport?

      2. Seriously.

      3. No one is going to read this but even in Cali 12:30 can accurately be called PM links. It doesn’t say evening links anymore. Plus for those of us who don’t have time to read it till 11 CT (the only real time) it’s evening links as well.

        /pedantic

  2. IBM researches create smallest known information bit, consisting of only 12 atoms.

    Porn storage will be revolutionized.

    1. Does this mean I’ll be able to get Ashton Kutcher’s tweets on my Dick Tracy watch finally?

      1. You’ll be able to store and watch your Paris Hilton sex tape videos on it. And all your bestiality/goat porn videos.

        “Sex with animals?!? There’s no time, man!”

        1. Thanks for making me waste a bunch of time watching adult swim video clips:)

    2. IBM researches create smallest known information bit, consisting of only 12 atoms.

      They placed the entire contents of rectal’s brain on 12 atoms?

    3. This is actually pretty awesome.

  3. http://www.slate.com/articles/…..irls_.html

    A rather funny takedown of Caitlin Flanagan’s new book on girls. Granted that is an easy target. But Flanagan is so annoying kicking her around is always enjoyable.

  4. Once again, S&P belatedly confirms what everyone already knows. And the modern welfare state continues to bankrupt the wealthiest nations . . .

    1. Unfortunately, I don’t see a path that eradicates the welfare state before it eradicates the wealthiest nations.

  5. http://www.bostonherald.com/ne…..id=1395504

    You have no right to self defense in Massachusetts. If they don’t prosecute you because you get the media involved, considered yourself warned.

    1. Anglification

    2. Holy shit. And I thought New Jersey was bad.

    3. This is an improvement. In the Dukaka years you couldn’t defend yourself even if you or someone in your family was going to die. Now we just have to watch to watch if our stuff getting is getting stolen.

  6. Calling all Jezebell readers. The top ten cities to find a douche I mean sensitive man

    http://www.yourtango.com/20121…..-10-cities

    1. Staten Island?!? The place with the highest percentage of guido blowout-haircut IROCs on earth?

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      1. Don’t forget the Joe Kleko Jets jersey.

    2. Pompano Beach, Florida
      Roanoke, Virginia
      West Hollywood, California
      Nashville, Tennessee
      Buffalo, New York
      Sarasota, Florida
      Greenville, South Carolina
      Wilmington, North Carolina
      Indianapolis, Indiana
      Staten Island, New York

      Holy shit. Seattle didn’t even appear on the list! That’s… awesome!

      1. West Hollywood, California

        So by “sensitive” they mean totally gay.

        1. Yep. I noticed that too. I didn’t read the article word-for-word, but I didn’t see anything about vetting for sexual preference. They merely laid out matrix of personality traits that qualified as “sensitive”.

    3. Best comment on the page:

      I’ll tell you where I’m hiding … in your pants, baby. In your pants. And you need me in those pants. You want me in those pants. Because you love me in those pants.

    4. I take pleasure in noting there’s no Texas cities on that list.

      1. Same here. That’s the first thing I looked for. I was worried about Austin.

        1. I was even more worried about Dallas.

          1. +1

            Houston>Austin>Dallas>Tebow>Jesus

  7. Once again, Paula Deen has diabeetus, signs million-dollar contract to hock meds.

    1. She could solve her DIABEETUS just by not eating her own cooking.

      “Hey, look at me, I’m a fat attention whore with self-inflicted problems! Pay attention to what I have to say!”

      1. She is no Sandra Lee, that’s for sure. Kwanzaa Cake will not make you fat, people!

        1. Hey now. Sandy is hot. I can forgive a lot for that.

          1. But… But… her terrible, terrible food! Tablescapes! Weird cocktails to finish off dinner! That cannot be forgiven!

            1. Come on. Tell me you wouldn’t eat that pasta that came out of can, tell her that her mango peanut margarita is fabulous and put on that paper party hat if that is what it took to get in her pants?

              1. I definately would just to see that awesome rack.

              2. John, pretty sure that DA is a woman. She might not be as interested in Sandra’s pants as the rest of us.

            2. I give Sandy credit: she makes those drinks stiff. She does a good hostess pour and doesn’t stint on the booze. 2 or three of her wackass coktails and you’ll care far less about the tablescapes and canned goods.

              1. I noticed that too. She may be a lousy cook. But I am thinking Sandy knows how to party and would be a lot of fun in the sack.

                1. I love how happy she gets when announcing cocktail time.

                  1. one word you “sensative” dudes….GIADA. Not “sandra, everything is coordinated each fucking episode Lee”

                    1. Her head is so big. Her body is great. But it is so small her head looks creepy large on it

                    2. I love Giada too. Why pick just one? This isn’t Russia. And where does Sandra store all of that shit. She needs like a warehouse for that stuff.

  8. Et tu Oprah? Et Tu?

    http://www.realclearpolitics.c….._time.html

    1. I secretly worship Oprah.

      A black woman from the South is the Queen of White Women everywhere.

      She knows for a stone-cold fact that her non-event for Barack Obama hurts him. We know it. Her audience knows it. And she is still willing to lie to our faces about it.

      Oprah rules. I think she keeps Stedman in a closet in leather and a collar,and takes him out to beat him once in a while. Her word shakes America and can destroy a career.

      1. I think Oprah is the one person Coverfield, I mean our first lady, fears.

        1. She’s the one lady I fear. Seriously, if you heard you had managed to piss off Oprah, wouldn’t be extremely worried? My wife would probably file for divorce and my mother would get Sinbad’s golden belt and strike me down.

          1. Yeah, a few well placed words spoken by Oprah denouncing you and you are pretty much done.

          2. “You broke my heart, Moon. You broke my heart.”

            1. Mein Gott. Might as well flee to Costa Rica after she says that. Oprah condemning you is like being a short-eyes in prison.

          3. Thank God for religious zealots who believe that Oprah is doing Satan’s work by promoting false religion!

            My mother would be pleased if I managed to piss off Oprah!

  9. Imperius Rex!

  10. the daughter of a prominent Peruvian businessman.

    Here’s hoping that this is one prominent Peruvian businessman who knows some people who know people who can get things taken care of, on the inside.

    1. “If you came to me in friendship, your enemies would be my enemies”

    2. Yeah, I bet the dude has Denzel on speedial

  11. Pennsylvania woman sues over being fired from a J&J Snack Foods plant, she claims, for wearing a prosthetic penis.

    Inside or outside her pants?

    1. That was the exact first thought I had.

  12. What the hell are they putting in J&J Snack Foods?

    1. Packing take on a whole new meaning at J&J Snack Foods.

  13. “….other Reason goodies”

    still waiting for mine.

  14. Inside baseball… Slashdot asks How to get developers to document code. In my experience, its about as easy as getting a hippie to bathe.

    1. The documentation fetish is stupid. Properly written code should be relatively clear as to what it’s doing, and reading the code is the documentation. Occasionally there will situations where there’s no way not to make it confusing, and it’s important to document shit like that, but otherwise, WRITE GOOD CODE.

      Plus, I have no time for documentation.

      1. I’ve had to do maintenance on code written by people with your attitude. No one should ever be allowed to do development unless they have done maintenance first.

        1. I’ve done maintenance, on absolutely horrible code. It was documented a fair amount of the time. It didn’t help, because the code was horrible.

          Write good code. It’s not hard.

          1. I don’t care how good your code is, without documentation of the design, it is opaque (since it can’t possibly describe it’s relation to all the other components).

            1. If you designed it properly–as a black box–its relation to the other components should be isolated.

              Here at work we have no time to document anything, but we have no trouble picking up what the others are doing if we have to, because things are written and named properly.

              1. Hahahahahaha – if you designed it properly? Design is second to documentation in undervaluation.

                You probably never write stuff with a cyclomatic complexity greater than 10 either.

                1. Uh oh, here comes the “my dick code is bigger more complex than yours” bullshit.

                  Thanks for being an internet stereotype, dude. That sure was fun.

                  1. No I’m making fun of the notion that good code always clocks in at low complexity.

                    Good practices are good practices, in design, code and documentation. I’ve yet to see a case of self-documenting code (that includes design), and I’ve seen a lot more crap code than good. Thanks for playing your own stereotype of Uber-coder.

                    1. Nerd fight!

                    2. STFU, it was a turn on till you showed up

      2. Bullshit.

        As a non-programmer by trade, I RELY on documentation to both properly understand what others have done as well as remember what the fuck it was that I did in code that I’ve written/changed.

        Not everyone knows every trick of coding.

        1. That’s what the internet is for.

      3. WTF? If I need to tweak a few small things, I don’t have time to read the entire goddamn project to figure out where what I want to change is. That’s the point of documentation, which includes of course naming variables something useful.

        1. Naming variables intelligently is critical, and a lot of people don’t because to do so often requires longer names which take more time to type (Intellisense makes this a lot better, though). Naming methods properly is also critical.

          If you do both of those things well, the code is already mostly self-describing, and minimal documentation is needed.

          1. When you work on systems that kill people when they fail, you find that documenting your work is somewhat more necessary for you than the guys that wrote angry birds.

            1. Point taken. Most people do not write life-critical code, though.

              1. That.

                And when you’re called into work at 2 am to fix something that’s broken, it’s nice to be able to read some comments that explains just what the fuck I was thinking about six months ago when I wrote this piece of shit module.

            2. I did have one mentor that suggested why we produce “good” documentation.

              He said I should imagine my self sitting on the witness stand with my hand on the bible swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth….. followed by answering a long set of questions from the counsel for the plaintiff.

          2. What? Simply running through the alphabet is not a good variable naming practice?

    2. In my experience, its about as easy as getting a hippie to bathe.

      BS. Well, I’ll back off on that. I documented everything. Even when the code was clear. I used a lot of sectional documentation as well. So before the developer would even start to ‘interpret’ the code, he’d know that the section he was looking at did such-and-such and was supposed to return such-and-such. Caveats, exeptions and watch-fors would also be included.

      And Epi, you’re right on paper, but in practice, it’s very nice to have documentation, even with extremely well-written code.

      Especially when you have customers. Sometimes the customer demands you do something retarded- and the only way to do it in a timely way without a rewrite is to do something that’s not ‘best practice’. Document it and you’ll be better off.

  15. How convenient.

    “John Edwards has a life-threatening heart condition that requires surgery and his trial has been delayed, according to reports Friday.”

    1. Edwards is a scumbag. But the case against his is outrageous. It is a crime to have a friend support your mistress?

      1. Live by the campaign finance, die by the campaign finance.

        1. I’ll bet he regrets all those times when Senator Edwards said to himself “Well, we fixed all the important stuff, I think I’ll intoduce a non-binding resolution and then knock off for the day.”.

    2. Die Edwards, die.

      1. “But no one who was in Congress can be a bad man!”

  16. I was just introduced to a pretty funny Twitter about shit overheard in Goldman Sachs elevators. Some enjoyable monocle/top hat snobbery, some stuff like this:

    #1: 1% of the private sector are millionaires, but 50% of congress is? #2: Yup. Those idiots are protesting the wrong crooks.

  17. “That’s unprofessional.” A coworker recently on my prosthetic penis. I am wearing it while I consider gender reassignment surgery. Mad me feel hurt, othered, like I couldn’t express my true self at work or in the world

    1. Micropenisaggression?

    2. My employer never has a problem with my real penis.

    3. I have to wonder if she got fired because she was doing it to mock the guy.

    4. Betrayed, hurt, and silenced.

    5. She confided in several co-workers about the device, and someone told management,

      Why the hell would this even come up at work?! I mean, why would you even mention this to a co-worker? FFS. Some people have no boundaries.

      1. I had a coworker, completely unsolicited, tell me her extra-curricular and off-label uses of A1 Seak Sauce. WTF? I don’t want to know this shit.

        1. Why what can you do with A1?

          1. Yes, I am quite curious as well!

      2. Pauline: Hi Shiela.
        Shiela: Hi Pauline, how are you today?
        P: Pretty good, a little itchy downstairs though.
        S: Uh, do you need to borrow a pad?
        P: No, it’s this dildo I’ve got stuffed down there. I’m trying to decide if I want to be a man.
        S: Oooooook. You know what, I’ll be right back…

  18. And France was one of the countries the Krugnutters were laughably trying to point to as proof of how great the European system is working. I guess Germany is the only one they have left to hang their hat on now.

    1. Oh, oh, I got this one!

      You know who else hung their hat on Germany?

      1. Patton?

  19. Namor has the most punchable face in comics.

  20. “Namor isn’t afraid to show what’s going on downstairs”

    I don’t know sub-mariner. You know what they say? The larger the sceptre, the smaller the dick.

  21. daughter of a prominent Peruvian businessman

    And politician.

    If he’d been just some grubby shopkeep who owns half the mattress warehouses in Peru or something, the Sloot would still be out, choosing his favorites from among many, many volunteers to die under his sexy fists.

    Is twenty-eight years enough time for him to catch up on his backlog of marriage proposals?

    1. There’s a certain poetic truth to this post.

    2. It always amazes me how most women value fame ( regardless of how it’s aquired) above all else in sexual attractiveness, then claim that men and women are the same.

  22. Tebow may be paired with Tiger Woods at the Pebble Beach Pro Am. That is great.

    http://denver.cbslocal.com/201…..bow-tiger/

    1. A sexually ravenous Canablasian Buddhist and a Virginal Christian walk into a putting green…

      1. Can’t you just see the Page Six on Tiger corrupting Tebow and Tebow being linked to the skank of the month?

        1. A picture of them walking out of a strip club at 2 AM would be pretty epic.

        2. A corrupted Tebow…he could rule the world!

  23. JANUARY 13–An alleged “Anonymous” member under indictment for participating in an online attack against PayPal wants a federal judge to allow him to use Twitter, arguing that he is unfairly being prohibited from participating in discussions of the 2012 election cycle, including discourse initiated by President Barack Obama, who has recently vowed to personally post tweets to the social networking site.

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/d…..eet-986512

    The clowns at anonymous make the Bronies look less like losers.

    1. The clowns at anonymous make the Bronies look less like losers.

      One is practically a subset of the other.

    1. I don’t get the Fisher love. He never won a single thing in Tennessee. And the one time he got to the Super Bowl it was because of a luck play against Buffalo. And after that his teams either sucked or fell flat in the playoffs.

      You are better off without him. Just because he has a stache and talks tough doesn’t mean he can actually coach.

      1. Fair enough.

        But it’s not necessarily that he won’t coach in Miami, but that the front office couldn’t land the guy they really wanted. Ross is a joke. His very public courtship of Harbaugh last year while Sparano was still employed as HC and his firing of Sparano before the season was over so that they could get a leg-up on a coach they really wanted yet were unable to land (over the fucking Rams) screams ineptitude. Unfortunately, in football, teams go as their owners go, and as long as we have pathetic ownership, we’re going to swim in a pool of mediocrity that been pissed in one too many times.

        1. I hear you. It is the exactly the same with the Chiefs. They have a cheap ass owner and a GM with no balls. I would love to believe that having no quarterback some pieces on offense, and a decent defense, they would be in a position to take a run after Payton Manning. Why not? Manning loved it in Indy and Kansas City is not that different. They have a ton of cap space and could let him pick his own OC. They could sign Manning, franchise Dwayne Bowe an with Charles, Moeki and Eric Berry returning be a real force.

          But they won’t do it. They will let Bowe walk because the owner is cheap. Bring back Matt Castle because Peoli has no balls and is too insecure he made a mistake last year. And be their usual seven win irrelevant selves.

        2. Most owners in the NFL suck. They just want to rip the fans off. Say what you want about Jerry Jones. He may be a carnival barking buffoon. But at least he wants to win and at least tries.

          1. He may be a carnival barking buffoon.

            May?

      2. “And the one time he got to the Super Bowl it was because of a luck play against Buffalo.”

        Not luck, illegal. FORWARD LATERAL!!

  24. Marvel>DC. Better characters, and they never did that weird retcon where they tried to integrate fictional cities into the real world, resulting in Gotham ending up in New Jersey

    1. Marvel>DC.

      No sir. Just…no. Being pelted by shit-flinging monkeys is more tolerable than reading Marvel crossovers.

      Speaking of shit-flinging monkeys, Mark Millar sends his regards.

  25. No cure for stupid:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/hea…..ction.html

  26. “What you’re telling me,” he says with the gravitas of a newsman announcing the death of the king, “is that all these efforts to combat rape culture on campus are a charade ? a kabuki dance ? to satisfy a small gaggle of angry feminists, and that the schools, themselves, know it’s all bullshit!”

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/me…..uki-dance/

    1. Pure gold: “I’d prefer to think of them as more like vampire nests, where these beautiful young women reside with the evil Undead ? except the women have garlic smeared all over their hot, naked flesh so the vampires can’t lay a finger, or other protruding appendage, on them.”

  27. “A shadowy group of anonymous animal rights radicals says it was behind an arson attack early Sunday that burned more than a dozen trucks at a cattle feedlot in Fresno County, Calif.”

    http://dailycaller.com/2012/01…..le-trucks/

  28. People for Exposing Tits and Ass:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..n-fur.html

    1. mmm–implant side boob!

  29. “On yesterday’s John Gibson radio show, a caller defended presidential candidate Ron Paul’s plan to eliminate the CIA. The caller repeated Paul’s claims that the CIA is helping drug smugglers ply their trade in the United States. The talk show host pressed the cuckoo clock sound effect and dropped the call. Yes, well, the facts speak for themselves: the CIA has a long and well-documented history of “enabling” drug trade to support our “friends” in Bolivia, Nicaragua, Afghanistan and, of course, Mexico . . .”

    http://www.thetruthaboutguns.c…..more-94723

    1. The CIA had no idea Norega was a coke runner. No idea. Next you are going to tell me the ATF sold guns to Mexican drug gangs.

      1. And that the DEA laundered cartel money, repeatedly.

  30. It’s not like the snack packer took out her ding-dong and waved it around, so I’m going to say she hasn’t a 3rd leg to stand on. Otherwise I’ll claim I got fired for the political literature I had in my pocket.

    1. I saw it at their website. No idea why it got flagged on YouTube.

      1. Prolly because of the flasher and his fate.

    2. Thats messed up

  31. Judge rejects Perry, GOP hopefuls for Va. ballot

    “They knew the rules in Virginia many months ago. … In essence, they played the game, lost, and then complained that the rules were unfair,” Gibney wrote.

    Color me shocked.

    1. Wait! I thought the rules didn’t apply to me!

  32. Okay, so, apparently, Rob Goddamn Schneider’s show got a 4.1 last night. And it led to comments on TV by the Numbers- “Rob is proof that with a great pilot, a good show can get good numbers.”

    America, we need to have a fucking talk. Decades ago, shows like Seinfeld, Cheers, All in the Family, and The Mary Tyler Moore Show all got good ratings. Now, 2 Broke Girls, 2 and a 1/2 Men, and motherfucking Rob get good ratings.

    The difference here is that the previously mentioned shows were actually good. Seriously, America, CBS is shitting down our throats and your dumbasses are letting it!!!

    This kind of shit makes me so damn Changry!

    1. “The Chucker” is a fake radio personality that Minneapolis radio station KQRS has used for years, to interview people they really don’t want to interview. The basic bit is that he always mistakes the guest for someone else, which can be pretty damn hilarious. Back in the day, KQRS apparently didn’t want to interview Rob, so he spoke with The Chucker instead.

      (also check out The Chucker interviewing Jesse “The Body” Jackson, Keanu “Christopher” Reeves, and others)

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  35. Moore’s Law has nothing to do with storage. It also only works at 1 degree kelvin or close to absolute zero so it’s not something that will likely ever be used. As soon as any part of it warms up just a little and the atoms start moving your data will be immediately corrupt or lost.

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