Conspiracy Theories

The Vast Juggalo Conspiracy


You might not take the Juggalos seriously, but the FBI does. Spencer Ackerman has been spelunking in the bureau's 2011 National Gang Threat Assessment, and he found an unexpected detour into the world of Insane Clown Posse fans:

Fucking gang threat assessment, how does that work?

Listed in the same breath as street gangs with ties to murderous Mexican drug cartels is the Juggalo threat.

"Although recognized as a gang in only four states," reports the FBI's National Gang Intelligence Center, "many Juggalos subsets exhibit gang-like behavior and engage in criminal activity and violence."…

Other gangs cited in the report, like the Haitian Boys Posse or the Custer Street Gang, are linked to homicides, gun running, and drug trafficking. Juggalo gang activity cited by the FBI cites is a notably lower caliber: thefts, hand-to-hand drug sales and felony assaults. The FBI has recently had difficulty distinguishing ordinary American Muslims from terrorists; now it appears it has a similar problem distinguishing teenage fads from criminal conspiracies.

"Social networking websites are a popular conveyance for Juggalo sub-culture to communicate and expand," the FBI warns.

Worse, "Juggalos' disorganization and lack of structure within their groups, coupled with their transient nature, makes it difficult to classify them and identify their members and migration patterns."…The FBI even cautions that the Juggalos are among 53 gangs "whose members have served in or are affiliated with the U.S. military."

Ackerman doesn't mention my favorite line in the report, in which we are informed that "Juggalos are traditionally fans of the musical group the Insane Clown Posse." I'd love to learn more about those non-traditional Juggalos who are not fans of Insane Clown Posse.

This is a familiar form of paranoia. Stanley Cohen's 1972 book Folk Devils and Moral Panics studied the British uproar over two teen subcultures of the early 1960s, the rockers and the mods, and their sometimes violent clashes. The folk devil, as Cohen and subsequent sociologists have shown, often takes the form of a conspiracy: a Satanic cult, a powerful gang, a backwoods militia, a white-slavery ring. In Cohen's words, "behaviour which was to a large degree unorganized, spontaneous and situational, is seen as having been well planned in advance as part of some sort of conspiratorial plot." In the case of the rockers and mods, Cohen writes, the press sometimes claimed that their battles "were masterminded, perhaps by a super gang with headquarters in some café on the M1" motorway.

The FBI writer wavers between acknowledging that the Juggalos aren't actually an organization (as with the reference to their "disorganization and lack of structure") and declaring them a "gang." Don't be surprised if other cops aren't even that careful. I look forward to the day an investigator reads this report, hears that there's an annual Gathering of the Juggalos, and decides it's time to inflitrate the heart of the conspiracy.

NEXT: Go Ahead, Pull the Trigger

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  1. Ackerman may be down with the clown, but is he insane in the membrane?

  2. If the FBI would focus solely on destroying the juggalo threat and not on anything else, we might be able to declare that a double win.

    1. I have to admit. It kind of does make you think the FBI might not be all bad.

    2. I’d be impressed if Juggalos had the mental capacity to come up with criminal plans beyond: “Whomp that bitch on the head, yo!” Even room-temperature-IQ patrol police should be able to handle them on their own. If not, this country’s even worse off than I thought.

      1. I’d just like to point out that I actually AM a Juggalo, I read Reason semi-regularly, and I am a libertarian. As opposed to the people who search “Juggalo” to hate on articles. Juggalos are much smarter than the people trolling this comment section.

  3. If stupidity is a crime then ICP fans deserve the death penalty.

    1. You would fail a first-grade math test. With a calculator.

      If Juggalos suck, why would you waste your time devoting your life to trolling them? On a political blog…

    1. Inane Clone Pussies.

      1. @Anomalous

        Not only are you lame, but you’re a plagiarist.

  4. I saw this last night. I meant to put it on morning links just for Warty and Sugar Free. The feds are after the Juggalos.

    1. I had a high school friend who became a Juggalo. This was after he tried to kill me with his terrible driving skills. I wonder if he’s alive.

      1. If he is, he is on the FBIs list now.


    “89 Things I Learned At The Gathering Of The Juggalos”

    1. Oh man, that’s disgusting. I need a shower.

    2. #90 There are (or is a) black juggalo(S)

      1. Shit, now that I think about it, I knew a black juggalo…who served in the military with me. (Sorry, I wasn’t sure where to put the scare quotes)

      2. There’s an inherent collectivist mentality in opposition to Juggalos, evidenced by the freely racist notion of black Juggalos being a sight comparable to seeing an American Bald Eagle flying through double rainbows.

  6. “hand-to-hand drug sales”


  7. Worse, “Juggalos’ disorganization and lack of structure within their groups, coupled with their transient nature, makes it difficult to classify them and identify their members and migration patterns.”…

    This is one of my favorite FBI Jedi mind tricks. See if you are organized and have a leader, you are organized crime. But if you are just a disorganized group with no leader, you are just smart organized crime looking to conceal your organization.

    It really is a real life version of the door gunner in Full Metal Jacket. If they run, they are VC. If they stand, they are disciplined VC.

    1. “Ya just don’t lead ’em so much!”

    2. Migration patterns? What the FUCK? Do the Juggalos go to Capistrano every year?


      1. Worse, “Juggalos’ disorganization and lack of structure within their groups, coupled with their transient nature, makes it difficult to classify them and identify their members and migration patterns.”…

        How about Marlin Perkins (sorry…no longer with us) and trusty sidekick Jim take a few down and go the eartag and tracking collar route. That oughta nail down migration, feeding and mating areas (eeeww!) and the location of the mysterious Juggalo Graveyard. Yo.

    3. people who reject the “wisdom of the state” are members of a gang or have mental illness. this theme has been consistent for decades.

      that said, the growth of the santa muerte cult stuff is, unfortunately, very real. if you live in the Southwest US, you may want to familiarize yourself with it to know what to stay away from as we enter times of economic uncertainty. i wish i could laugh this off, but i know better.

  8. What about Kiss fans?

    1. They are the proto-juggalos.

    2. That’s Kiss ARMY.
      And we’ve seen the compound their leader lives in…

  9. How many years will it be before we’re all “suspected” terrorist? Fuckin’ LE.

    1. That’s the sort of information only a terrorist would be interested in…

    2. “”How many years will it be before we’re all “suspected” terrorist? Fuckin’ LE.””

      Been to the airport lately?

  10. Someone, somewhere in the corridors of power is going to assume that ALL clowns, not just the insane ones, need to be watched. There will be “random” profiling traffic stops where numerous passengers emerge from the car. They’ll have to remove their large shoes when boarding airplanes. TSA ops will sequester clowns when pat-downs results in inexplicable honks and slide-whistle sounds.

    1. I’m just glad our government is finally waking up to the existential threat that clowns–Jugglaos or Juggoless–present to the American way of life.

      1. They’re as bad as Chavs, sans the greasepaint.

    2. Has anyone considered that maybe there is someone high up in the FBI that just really really really hates clowns?

      1. Who doesn’t hate clowns?

        1. Also, does this mean we’ll get a Ten Most Wanted poster on black velvet?

        2. Especially when they are celebrities.


      2. “Officer, you don’t understand…I AM PAGLIACCI!”

        1. Good joke. Everybody laugh.

    3. Hilariously, one of my company’s OSHA recordables this year is that a man injured his hamstring while removing his boots at a TSA checkpoint.

      1. At duPont that would be an avoidable and unacceptable safety violation. Next, a bulletin that all
        travelers are to wear slippers while traveling so they don’t have to bend over while complying with TSA.

        1. I’d prefer to bend over, I don’t like looking at the person fucking me when I don’t consent.

  11. “They have hoodies and make up!!! SHOOT THEM!! SHOOT THEM!!!”

  12. One of my best friends in high school was a mime. No one knew until the yearbook came out and we found a picture of Derek posing with “The Mime Club” and in make-up, beret and all. He was doing this completely off the radar. Even his girlfriend didn’t know.

    There were only three other people in “The Mime Club,” a guy and two girls. I didn’t know the girls really well, but the other guy was a really good friend of mine that I had had a falling out with the summer before after fingerbanging his sister at the summer camp for the cult his mom was involved with. He never had a chance… I think the mime was in him all along.

    But Derek being a mime was a shock. I mean, I had eaten meals with this guy. He had been in my home. And the whole time he had been a secret mime.

    How could he do this to us?

    1. So, “Derek” is really you, then.

      1. No, because I would have taken the honorable way out if people had found out I was a mime: I would have sold myself to carnys.

        1. I thought you did.

        2. I once took a girl to a Marcel Marceau performance she wanted to see. I must have really liked that girl.

          1. Or pathetically desperate and totally self-loathing. You probably like Shields & Yarnell, too.

            1. Yarnell was pretty hot…….

              1. Yeah but she only mimicked blow jobs.

      2. I believe the scientific term is dissociative personality disorder. In order to deal with his overwhelming desire to Mime, Sugar Free created another personality “Derek”.

        1. I think it all started when he was caught mimeing in the bathroom. Some bullies beat him up and smeared his face paint up.

    2. So, ummm, why were you at a cult summer camp?

      1. For the fingerbanging. Same reason I went, for sure.

      2. We were friends and his mom was nuts. I ended up going with them on a lark. Two weeks of whacked-out bible interpretation and mass speaking in tongues. I ended up sleeping in the woods and sneaking in to get food.

        He was more pissed about his sister than his mom was. (She told them both.) I’m pretty sure mom was grooming her to be a honey trap for the cult. Two hour car ride with him debating his mom about the “rightness” of me fingerbanging his sister, while I hid in the back of the van and she rolled her eyes through the whole ordeal.

        I was quits with the whole family after that nightmare.

        1. Heh. Methinks “Derek” is your “friend”, jarfarter.

        2. Wouldn’t the real nightmare have been to go to a cult summer camp *without* said fingerbanging action as reward?

  13. When I see the word “Juggalo,” I think of a fat dude with man boobs.

    1. Turns you on doesn’t it?

      1. Only sometimes.

      2. I dare you to watch Warty jog, and not be hypnotized.

    2. Yeah, I’d heard the word, gathered from context that it applied to a person, never knew what it meant. Something like a gigolo with jugs? Something to do with juggling? If I go back and RTFA, will I be enlightened? Does it have anything to do with the guy in the photo? Or is it like the Bald Smiley Guy photo they used to run, i.e. just to make us feel better and having nothing to do with the subject?

      1. I think it was on “7 Sec. Delay” that I heard it. Ken is always hep to the cool stuff the kids are doing these days and has to fill Andy in on it.

    3. Well, if the FBI were going after Chuck Schumer, we’d be all for it even more.

      1. Juggalos going after Chuck Schumer would be funnier.

        Especially if they’re all stoked up on Four Loko and listening to Limbaugh podcasts.

  14. Fortunately I graduated from high school before this scourge. So let me ask, isn’t the whole Juggalo thing supposed to be a bit ironic? Doesn’t ICP profess to be the worst band on earth and the music the worst possible?

    1. Actually, that was Limp Bizkit that made that claim. ICP give them a run for it’s money

      1. I have never heard an ICP song. But God Limp Bizkit is the worst band I have ever heard in my life. They make the Sex Pistols seem like they have talent.

          1. You would post the ‘fucking magnets’ song. Dig a little deeper in the archives, man.

          2. For counterbalance: Dead End. Criticizes the death penalty. Features Ice-T. What “libertarian” would oppose this?

        1. Limp Bizkit went off their rocker something fierce once they got big, but their first album really wasn’t bad. The rhythm section had a lot of talent to it, Durst hadn’t yet concocted whatever personality he ended up morphing into and spent some time actually singing instead of just oscillating between bad falsetto rap and bad falsetto screaming. Everything they put out after is torture, but the first one holds up well ten years later, especially considering its competition (Nu Metal has always been a talent wasteland).

          ICP was the funniest goddamn thing ever when I was in middle school, but how could anybody take this shit seriously? The existence of Juggalos are a good argument for sterilization.

          1. Limp Bizkit’s “Getcha Groove On” is an excellent song.

            1. Cripes! How could’ve I forgotten that one!?

          2. I’ve yet to find an anti-Juggalo statement that doesn’t border on fascism. You’ve just proven it with your “sterilization” comment.

    2. I always thought it was about brain damaged redneck social outcasts revelling in a world of pure fecal and aural filth. Some for the laffs, some for real. It’s kind of like slumming with other outcasts in the lowest possible state of human existence. You can’t get any lower, might as well learn to enjoy the stench. I just still can’t believe that there was a period where nu-metal was actually a mainstream phenomenon.

      1. Once again, the collectivist, fascist leanings of “progressivism” rears its ugly head. Since you’ve called Juggalos “brain damaged rednecks”, do you also think that blacks do nothing but use drugs and steal as well? Get a clue!

    3. I don’t know. For intentionally unpleasant, I think you need to go with Hidden Agenda.

      Nothing screams social respectability like “Kill Yourself for Satan,” “Kurt Cobain is Dead” (and I Wish It Were You)” or “Prison Love Song.”

      All available on iTunes…

  15. Yet another threat to the Public Order that justifies an expenditure of taxpayer resources to combat.

    Come on, you hoarding Taxpayers, hand it over or you will not be safe. We know best what is good for you.

  16. Fucking gangs, how do they work?

    1. Fucking alt-text, how does it work?

  17. I’m just a Juggalo
    and everywhere I go
    people don’t know what I’m playin

    Cops think I’m a thug
    got makeup on my mug
    Ooooooooh I’m a gangsta

    But there will come a day
    when cops catch up and say
    “We know you’re guilty of something”

    When the end comes I know
    I was just a Jugallo
    now I’m stuck
    in prison


    I ain’t got no taste in
    good music

    I like Insane
    Clown Posse
    Clown Posse
    they’re Insane

    1. Excellent. Nominate this man for a Reasy.

    2. +10

    3. I’m disappointed at very non-libertarian you are in contrast to the number of posts you’ve contributed to this discussion.

      If you personally don’t like this music, so what? Does that give the FBI the right to discriminate collectively against an entire group of individuals who merely share a fan association?

      It also comes across as anti-capitalism to criticize someone for succeeding on their own merits, as ICP did, without corporate funding, on an independent label they founded themselves in 1992.

      If Insane Clown Posse made crappy music, they would not have come as far as they did with hardly any MTV airplay, zero mainstream radio airplay, and no endorsement deals with major conglomerates. Their success is a great example of pure capitalism, earning their success through hard work and talent.

      It’s one thing not to care for their music personally, but the glee in the federal targeting of their fanbase identifies you as having a collectivist nature, not a libertarian nature. No libertarian is okay with the government spending tax payer’s money to declare some music fanbase a national threat for collectivist reasons.

  18. Will Obama authorize drone strikes on The Gathering?

    1. Nuclear ordinance. It’s the only way to be sure.

      1. Collectivists like the idea of nuking Juggalos out of existence because it would be the first step in getting rid of even a small percentage of Ron Paul supporters…

  19. Ok, I’ve been out of the country for five years. WTF is a jugallo and when did this start?

    1. Google “Chavs” and “Neds” and add facepaint.

      1. Thanks; is the face paint to hide their identity?

    2. The term originated during a 1994 live performance by Insane Clown Posse. During the song “The Juggla”, Joseph Bruce addressed the audience as Juggalos, and the positive response resulted in Bruce and Joseph Utsler using the word thereafter to refer to themselves and their friends, family, and fans, including other Psychopathic Records artists.[2] The fanbase boomed following the release of their third album, Riddle Box, in 1995, leading Insane Clown Posse to write the songs “What Is A Juggalo?” and “Down With The Clown” for their 1997 album The Great Milenko.[3]

      According to Utsler, “[Juggalos come] from all walks of life ? from poverty, from rich, from all religions, all colors. […] It doesn’t matter if you’re born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or a crack rock in your mouth.”[4] Juggalos have compared themselves to a family.[5][6]

      And something from Facebook: Juggalos For Ron Paul

  20. yo fuck that were not a fucking gang sure there are gang out there that use the hatchetman as there gang sing but that dont mean all juggalos are gang and if the fbi try to end it at the gathering of the juggalos they are just as insane as we are because it wont work and the shouldn’t be able to arrest us for something that we listen to or something we were but i would be willing to go to jail over this but yall cant arrest me for because its not illegal were i am so fuk off

      1. Who knew that O3 was a juggalo

  21. Try n shut us down you get ur legs broken

    1. Based on the previous two grammatical samples, I wonder if Orrin is also a juggalo?

  22. First they came for the juggaloes…

    1. And nothing else happened.

  23. Don’t let the FBI know about the Baseball Furies…

      FBI . . . come out and playeeyaayyy . ..

  24. Fucking terror groups, how do they work?

  25. Who doesn’t the FBI consider potential or full-on gangs these days?

    They’re even investigating the Occupy protesters.

    1. And all of us, but then, we knew that already.

    2. The FBI is even investigating an uprising started, in part, by people calling for the violent overthrow of the U.S. government? That’s low, even for them!

    3. “”Who doesn’t the FBI consider potential or full-on gangs these days?””


  26. I’d love to learn more about those non-traditional Juggalos who are not fans of Insane Clown Posse.

    My goal is now to create a splinter Juggalo sect that consists of fans of Neil Diamond and actually go to his concerts in facepaint.

    1. go to one of these shows….just sayin’

  27. “Juggalos’ disorganization and lack of structure within their groups, coupled with their transient nature, makes it difficult to classify them and identify their members and migration patterns.”

    So that fact that there’s no evidence that they have the internal cohesion to be a gang is evidence that they’re a gang and a diabolically clever one.

    Does the FBI think the Joker is running things? Are they cooperating with Batman.

    1. FBI’s version of “it’s a feature, not a bug.”

      Re: “hand-to-hands:” Name a damn non-philharmonic concert where you WON’T see that happening. I’m surprised they haven’t labeled Deadheads as a gang.

      I do wish they listed Gaga’s “little monsters”.

  28. I wonder if the FBI has files on the KISS Army?

  29. Somehow i’ve managed to live this long without ever having heard this term, seen any of these people or known of their existance, or ever heard a single song by the Insane Clown Posse.

    I am going to try to go forward in life pretending I didn’t hear about this.

    1. I am going to try to go forward in life pretending I didn’t hear about this.

      I can wish i never heard about the Tennessee Valley authority…still doesn’t change the fact that the federal government is dumping money into it…same with investigating Insane Clown Posse fans.

      1. I am not going to take up fighting Juggalo-oppression by government anytime soon, sorry. I think there may be other issues of more pressing concern.

        Fuck, they could be shooting them on sight in the streets, or kidnapping and waterboarding them at overseas secret-locations, and I’d probably remain ambivalent.

        Well, maybe the second would bother me. Do we really need to be wasting all that air fuel, manpower, and time? Just turn the next annual Gathering of the Juggalos into a test of our newest MOAB weapon. We’d likely at least gather some useful data.

        Also = Vanilla Ice would finally be converted into a Vanilla Pudding snack. Fringe benefit.

        1. I can guarantee you that Juggalos are more useful to society than you or your comment.

  30. So has anyone organized a real world Van Buren gang yet?

  31. I’d love to learn more about those non-traditional Juggalos who are not fans of Insane Clown Posse.

    We’re takin’ it back!

  32. I actually did a post on Juggalos once. I think they’re a lot less of a threat to the nation than the JournoList Posse (or JournoList Posse II: Electric Buggaloo).

    Since most Juggalos seem to be from a poor white working (or non-working) class background, they probably do commit more crimes per capita than the national average. But I wonder if they commit more crimes that blacks of the same economic urban strata. My guess is that this is an issue no social scientist would dare research…

    1. 98% of the time, the crimes blamed on Juggalos were not even committed by ICP fans or even people defining themselves as Juggalos.

      Juggalos come from a variety of different backgrounds. Defining them as predominately white and poor is a collectivist notion.

  33. How much should we fear a ‘gang’ that can be paralyzed by taking Faygo soda off of the shelves?

    1. There are Juggalos in parts of the world (remember, there is life outside the United States of Uhmerica) where Faygo has never been sold, so the ones in US states where Faygo might be difficult to find or taken off the market do just fine without it, because the music and message isn’t going anywhere.

  34. Who’s goin’ chicken huntin’?

  35. The FBI can’t find their evidence of a crime

  36. i’ve dealt with a fair # of juggaloes on the street, and they are NOT a gang. period.

    sure, they share some common interests with other juggaloes. surfers do with other surfers. x-fitters with other x-fitters. it doesn’t make them a gang.

    they are, ime, mostly harmless. it’s just a thing they can be into, that is basically harmless. they are about as much of a gang as “the goth kids” in south park are.

    our gang unit does not consider them a gang, nor do i.

    the last juggalo i arrested was a common burglar, but it had little to do with his juggaloness. iow, he was a burglary who HAPPENED to be a juggalo.

  37. I’m the leader of the Insane Anal Posse and no one has come after me yet.

  38. I am one of the founders of one of the largest Juggalo websites on the net. At this point as an American all I can do is hang my head in shame after reading this. I really hate to inform the FBI but on our site (which we have video and text chat rooms) we have members from every walk of life from homeless (yes homeless people can get internet access too) to blue collar workers to members of our own military serving in Iraq!! Yes our own military serving our country in A WAR ZONE!! Out of the 2 years we have ran our sites we have had to ban MAYBE 10 people for hate, which by the way we do not tolerate hate in any form. Yet I can not count the number of people who have come on who have needed help. Not help from committing violence but from being the subject of violence at the hands of people who discriminated against them. To those who do not understand what it means to be a Juggalo or Juggalette it means a support group of peers when you need someone to be there to help you through hard times. We do act as a “Family” in the capacity of someone to lean on. There has been many of incidents where someone has logged on to the site who wanted to commit suicide and several of our long time members have helped them through their problems. As to Juggalos discriminating against Gay or Lesbians is way off several of the Juggalos and Juggalettes I know are gay, bi-sexual, or transgendered which we proudly support.
    To the simple fact of the FBI now classifies us as a gang, can we get real. In any (and I do mean any) group there will be those who give a group a bad name, there will be trouble makers, there will be those who are out to further their own agenda through violence and criminal activity. This does not mean the group as a whole is a criminal group. I recall after hurricane Katrina that several of the remaining members of New Orleans Police Department committed acts of violence, theft and even murder for their own gains. Those members of New Orleans PD have or are now standing trial, yet by the FBI’s own guidelines of if a few out of a group commit crimes then the group as a whole should be classified as a gang then all Police departments should be held to the same standards. Same should apply to churches when the pastor molests a child, or members of government when they take “kickbacks” or bribes. As a teenager I had extensive experience with gangs (all-be it this was almost 20 years ago now) and Juggalos hold nothing in common with Gangster Disciples, Bloods, or Crypts. We are more akin to the hippies of the 60’s and 70’s than anything else as a group in whole. Most (not all) do believe in legalization of marijuana, which as of my last check polls showed over 50% of Americans shared that same view. As for “hardcore” illegal drugs I can only speak for our site which we do NOT condone in any way and which most of our 6000 members agree with. We believe in love and peace not violence and robbery, we believe in support not hate or discrimination, and in these things most of our 6000 members agree as well.
    As a site yes we have had our own problems with peoples views of Juggalos and even with views of smaller sites of Juggalos. This only furthers the idea not all Juggalos are alike and not all have the same views. Yet I would say as being one of the largest groups on the internet that by percentage we show a good representation of Juggalos as a whole. Which by the way our biggest complaint against us is we are an “ADULT ONLY” community and most of the complaints and “hate” sites refer more to the appearance of some of our members being over weight or unattractive in their view than anyone’s behavior. Even Violent J of ICP puts out a yearly letter of tolerance and love among Juggalos and how the violence and hate sickens him.
    In closing all I can say is if you believe Juggalos are a “Gang” please come check us out we are and I extend that invite to the FBI as well. Much Clown LOVE!!!

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