Government Spending

Yes, but How Big Is the National Debt in Football Terms?


Glad you asked.

My favorite: For the cost of the national debt, you could buy 1,105 giant foam "We're #1" fingers each for every man, woman, and child on the planet.

And it would probably still be more effective than the stimulus.


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  1. Dude, that borders on a Proctologist Utopia

  2. The beer math is the most striking, because in the whole world, there aren’t 1.75 trillion beers.


    All of it.

    1. But a man can dream, can’t he? A man can dream…

      1. If only I’d invented the fing-longer.

    2. And just think, those are stadium beers. Those usually cost as much as your run of the mill 6-packs.

      That’s a lot of beer.

      Although I’m in more favor of the foam finger metric. Imagine founding a prosperous nation and then going into debt to dump over a thousand foam fingers on every man, woman, and child on this planet.

      1. I like this idea.

        1. I’d prefer the nation that goes into debt buying a lifetime supply of beer for anyone on the planet.

  3. Someone forward the artist a color palette that isn’t eye searing, jesus.

    1. Don’t you understand? Green is the color of money.

      “Cut it short and tint it green, the color of money.”

      1. Another searing social commentary brought to you by Family Guy. Take that greedy, opportunistic art dealers of the world.

    2. I would say forward the data to an artist, because it apparently hasn’t seen one yet.

  4. 14 trillion dollars is enough to purchase, at $25 a copy, 560 billion porno DVDs. At 2 hours per DVD, that’s 1.12 trillion hours of viewing. That is, an early Ceratopsian dinosaur (Such as Charlius Sheenius) could have started watching porn 128 million years ago and would just be finishing up his porn binge now.

    1. That’s one horny ceratopsian.

      1. Nah. Probably got bored about 60 million years ago, and took a break. Got really interested again at about the 65th million year point.

  5. Oh, and by the way, anyone notice that Nurse Bloomberg just got the NYC City Council to pass a ban on smoking in city parks?

    1. This is just beyond ridiculous:

      [Some councilmen] said they were torn, including Queens Councilman Leroy Comrie ? who even invoked Kristallnacht, saying if “we start going after individual personal liberties,” we’ll end up with tyranny. But Comrie ended up voting for the bill, he said, because his teenage kids told him he should. (emphasis mine)

      Not only a ridiculous Godwin, but apparently this douchebag can’t even cop a vote without his KIDS basically making his vote for him! I’ll bet these spoiled snots run the household. Probably even asked councilman Daddy to ban ugly kids at school so the statist little shits wouldn’t have to endure such riff-raff.

      Councilman, grow a pair!

      Some of the comments are choice, too.

      1. Is he going to vote for repealing curfew, mandatory Justin Beiber, and a lower drinking age, too? Teenagers are the stupidest people on Earth. Except, apparently, politicians. Fuck. Good thing the adults are in charge.

  6. In Packer fan terms thats about 2 trillion deep fried, gravy and cheese covered sausage sandwiches with a side of fried cheese sticks. And yes it looks like they have already eaten them.

  7. With regards to the beer one, that’s enough to fill up the largest lake in Pennsylvania (Pymatuning Reservoir), the largest lake in Wisconsin (Lake Winnebago), fill one of those lakes up again, and still have beer left over.

    (I have way too much time on my hands…)

    1. Oops, you could actually fill up Pymatuning twice and Winnebago three times. Or you could buy all world beer production for the next 75 years.

  8. They missed an obvious one:

    $45,640 — every American’s share of the national debt

    $45,640 — average price of a Super Bowl ticket

    1. I think you just made a mistake. Super Bowl tickets are about an order of magnitude lower.

      1. Sorry. I forgot the HTML code for smiley face.

    2. That’s over 9 hours with Spitzer’s hooker for every man, woman, and child in the US.

      Man is she going to be worn out. Especially from the two year olds.

      1. She’s gonna be pretty old by the time I get my 9 hours. I want a newer model.

  9. Is this foam-finger theory based on cheap Chicom-produced foam fingers, or expensive-assed American union labor ones?

    1. superbowl stadium gameday priced ones.

  10. For a non football analogy:

    It is enough to buy an iPhone 3GS from AT&T with two years of unlimited service for every man, woman and child on the planet. With a half-trillion left over to cover overages.

  11. It is enough to buy everyone on the planet 1 skittle candy per minute for one full year. Night and Day, including holidays.

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