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Policy

Finally, a Venn Diagram That Shows The Overlap Among 3 Varieties of Junk-Touchers

Nick Gillespie | 12.28.2010 4:40 PM

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Thanks, Chart Porn.

Hat tip: Megan McLaughlin's Twitter feed and Laughing Squid.

Only a few weeks ago, Reason.tv turned its head and coughed up no fewer than five TSA-related vids that have pulled almost 400,000 views at YouTube. Check 'em all out (along with one from last Christmas too).

Start your day with Reason. Get a daily brief of the most important stories and trends every weekday morning when you subscribe to Reason Roundup.

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NEXT: Carbon Rationing By Other Means

Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason and host of The Reason Interview With Nick Gillespie.

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  1. Warty   14 years ago

    Who's to say that hookers don't sometimes need to wear blue latex gloves? Furthermore, some of them need quite a bit of training.

    Also, this.

    1. Pip   14 years ago

      So true, Warty. So true.

    2. Episiarch   14 years ago

      That diagram explains so much, Warty...I understand the music of Flock of Seagulls now, for instance.

    3. Jim   14 years ago

      I wonder if the esteemed Starchild could elaborate on the amount of training he has undergone for his chosen profession.

    4. JD   14 years ago

      You have to pay extra for the blue latex glove service.

  2. Warty   14 years ago

    Watch the brilliance of New York City's workers, and then remember that they're going to retire to their awesome pensions in a few years.

    1. Episiarch   14 years ago

      They do that shit all the time. I came out one morning (while I still had a car in the city) and found that my back left quarter panel had a big dent in it...shaped exactly like the bumpers on the sanitation trucks. No note was left, of course, but it was so obviously a sanitation truck that it was ridiculous.

      1. Warty   14 years ago

        Try to count the number of absurdly stupid mistakes the dipshits make. I lost count around 10.

    2. Atanarjuat   14 years ago

      I wonder how differently they would have handled that if they were personally liable for the damages.

      Just an all-around great video. Especially when he let the camera slip down to reveal his pasty, underwear-clad self. I would have been harassing those morons a bit harder though. I expected a little better from a New Yorker.

      1. Rhywun   14 years ago

        Yeah, the recent storm has been especially full of stupid. Half the subway service is still out, entire boroughs are lacking bus service - this after two full days. We've had worse storms and bounced back faster.

    3. db   14 years ago

      I blame 4Loko.

  3. Robert   14 years ago

    I wish people wouldn't call it "junk". It's not like you'd want to throw it away.

    1. Roberta   14 years ago

      Speak for yourself, honey.

    2. BlogDog   14 years ago

      I'm into recycling big time when it comes to some junk.

  4. jtuf   14 years ago

    The chart is hilarious, guys.

  5. Tom   14 years ago

    Slight nitpick, but I think the blue gloves are nitrile, not latex.

    1. mousebert   14 years ago

      The vast majority of medical gloves do not have latex since there are many with latex allergies. Many physicians make somewhere between $30 to $40 per hour - and YES I am absolutely serious! Much of the cost is over-head, supplies, etc. There are procedures where I am paid 1% of the billed cost - if it is collected.

    2. Van   14 years ago

      Not to brag, but my Doctor (Internal Med) is an attractive Blonde from the Czech Republic.

      I'll ask about the gloves next time I go in for a physical.

      1. Jason   14 years ago

        I'll ask about the gloves next time I go in for a physical.

        What, ask for no gloves this time? 🙂

        1. Van   14 years ago

          No, I'm always a gentleman.

          When I was a little fella and I had been good in the Dr's office I used to get a tootsie roll from one of the Nurses. Now that I'm an old fart, she gives me a Scrip for Vitamin V.

  6. R   14 years ago

    Two by two, hands of blue.

  7. Uniblogger   14 years ago

    I just returned from the Airport and had to go through the 'Kabuki Dance' they call security.

    When I first heard of the new pat down procedure I was annoyed over this government intrusion. However, looking at the large number of fat, smelly passengers made me realize what a disgusting job these TSA employees have. This should be the next episode of the Mike Rowe Dirty Jobs Program.

  8. Dr Duck   14 years ago

    I forgot a lot of New Math, but isn't the diagram -- funny as it is -- backward? The intersections and unions seem to be reversed.

    Fucken pedants, I know

  9. annie   14 years ago

    What does TSA do when a male presents with a hard-on? Demand that he whip it out, lest it actually be a hollowed-out, realistic dildo, containing explosives or other "liquids?" What do they do when the person bearing the apparent hard-on is dressed as a female?

  10. Uriel   14 years ago

    I guess maybe it defeats the humorous point of the diagram; but this is a very bad (i.e., incorrect) Venn Diagram. Everything is backwards.

  11. Federal Man   14 years ago

    You did not include the all important fact that our TSA agents have a right to touch your junk, and you have an obligation to not only submit yourselves, but your children upon our demand.

    Joke of the day: What kind of a man knowingly surrenders his own daughter to one of us government workers to be molested, standing by passively even as her private parts are fondled while she screams "Daddy Daddy, please help me!" Punch line: an American man. I speak only to you men when I say you gutless cowards will be lining up to hand over your wives and daughters in our airports, it will happen hundreds of time each day across our USA. You had better start explaining to your children that we government employees are allowed to touch their private parts whenever we want; it will make the whole thing a lot less dramatic.

    If your child is damaged by our screening process, it is very likely because you poisoned your child's mind against the United States government. In such a case we may have your states Child Protective Services consider whether or not you are fit to be parents.

    http://youareproperty.blogspot.....h-and.html

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