Transportation Policy

Finally, a Venn Diagram That Shows The Overlap Among 3 Varieties of Junk-Touchers


Thanks, Chart Porn.

Hat tip: Megan McLaughlin's Twitter feed and Laughing Squid.

Only a few weeks ago, turned its head and coughed up no fewer than five TSA-related vids that have pulled almost 400,000 views at YouTube. Check 'em all out (along with one from last Christmas too).

NEXT: Carbon Rationing By Other Means

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  1. Who’s to say that hookers don’t sometimes need to wear blue latex gloves? Furthermore, some of them need quite a bit of training.

    Also, this.

    1. So true, Warty. So true.

    2. That diagram explains so much, Warty…I understand the music of Flock of Seagulls now, for instance.

    3. I wonder if the esteemed Starchild could elaborate on the amount of training he has undergone for his chosen profession.

    4. You have to pay extra for the blue latex glove service.

  2. Watch the brilliance of New York City’s workers, and then remember that they’re going to retire to their awesome pensions in a few years.

    1. They do that shit all the time. I came out one morning (while I still had a car in the city) and found that my back left quarter panel had a big dent in it…shaped exactly like the bumpers on the sanitation trucks. No note was left, of course, but it was so obviously a sanitation truck that it was ridiculous.

      1. Try to count the number of absurdly stupid mistakes the dipshits make. I lost count around 10.

    2. I wonder how differently they would have handled that if they were personally liable for the damages.

      Just an all-around great video. Especially when he let the camera slip down to reveal his pasty, underwear-clad self. I would have been harassing those morons a bit harder though. I expected a little better from a New Yorker.

      1. Yeah, the recent storm has been especially full of stupid. Half the subway service is still out, entire boroughs are lacking bus service – this after two full days. We’ve had worse storms and bounced back faster.

    3. I blame 4Loko.

  3. I wish people wouldn’t call it “junk”. It’s not like you’d want to throw it away.

    1. Speak for yourself, honey.

    2. I’m into recycling big time when it comes to some junk.

  4. The chart is hilarious, guys.

  5. Slight nitpick, but I think the blue gloves are nitrile, not latex.

    1. The vast majority of medical gloves do not have latex since there are many with latex allergies. Many physicians make somewhere between $30 to $40 per hour – and YES I am absolutely serious! Much of the cost is over-head, supplies, etc. There are procedures where I am paid 1% of the billed cost – if it is collected.

    2. Not to brag, but my Doctor (Internal Med) is an attractive Blonde from the Czech Republic.

      I’ll ask about the gloves next time I go in for a physical.

      1. I’ll ask about the gloves next time I go in for a physical.

        What, ask for no gloves this time? 🙂

        1. No, I’m always a gentleman.

          When I was a little fella and I had been good in the Dr’s office I used to get a tootsie roll from one of the Nurses. Now that I’m an old fart, she gives me a Scrip for Vitamin V.

  6. Two by two, hands of blue.

  7. I just returned from the Airport and had to go through the ‘Kabuki Dance’ they call security.

    When I first heard of the new pat down procedure I was annoyed over this government intrusion. However, looking at the large number of fat, smelly passengers made me realize what a disgusting job these TSA employees have. This should be the next episode of the Mike Rowe Dirty Jobs Program.

  8. I forgot a lot of New Math, but isn’t the diagram — funny as it is — backward? The intersections and unions seem to be reversed.

    Fucken pedants, I know

  9. What does TSA do when a male presents with a hard-on? Demand that he whip it out, lest it actually be a hollowed-out, realistic dildo, containing explosives or other “liquids?” What do they do when the person bearing the apparent hard-on is dressed as a female?

  10. I guess maybe it defeats the humorous point of the diagram; but this is a very bad (i.e., incorrect) Venn Diagram. Everything is backwards.

  11. You did not include the all important fact that our TSA agents have a right to touch your junk, and you have an obligation to not only submit yourselves, but your children upon our demand.

    Joke of the day: What kind of a man knowingly surrenders his own daughter to one of us government workers to be molested, standing by passively even as her private parts are fondled while she screams “Daddy Daddy, please help me!” Punch line: an American man. I speak only to you men when I say you gutless cowards will be lining up to hand over your wives and daughters in our airports, it will happen hundreds of time each day across our USA. You had better start explaining to your children that we government employees are allowed to touch their private parts whenever we want; it will make the whole thing a lot less dramatic.

    If your child is damaged by our screening process, it is very likely because you poisoned your child’s mind against the United States government. In such a case we may have your states Child Protective Services consider whether or not you are fit to be parents.


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