Nudists Totally OK with New Airport Scanners


Note the belly button piercing

Tech blog Gizmodo reports on the nudist response to new Transportation Security Administration (TSA) scanners, which show both the T and A of travellers who pass through them:

I sort of expected the nudist community to be a bunch of hardline civil libertarians or something, but that doesn't change how wonderful this story is: Nudists? Totally OK with the TSA's new, aggressively denuding security scanners.

From the statement of the American Association for Nude Recreation, which opts for security over privacy—and perhaps deserves neither:

"Put this issue in its proper perspective," recommends AANR Executive Director Erich Schuttauf. "A trained security professional in a remote monitoring station takes a few seconds discreetly screening passengers to be sure they're only bringing what nature gave them aboard. In exchange for safer skies, AANR believes it's completely worth it. But you don't have to be a nudist to agree these measures are based on common sense."

Adds Schuttauf, "Polls regularly show that about one in five North Americans have skinny-dipped in mixed company already. So if travelers just think of the screen as a virtual skinny dip, something regarded as American as apple pie since before Norman Rockwell, everyone wins in the name of better air travel security."

I, too, expected a nudist/libertarian confluence. Perhaps, like the People's Front of Judea vs. the Judean People's Front, there are other, more libertarian nudist groups out there. I assume at least some of Reason's commenters are nudists, so that's probably the best place to start looking. Anyone?

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  1. Most libertarians are okay with, say, having Muslim women who wear burqa or less restrictive veils take them off for government IDs. It doesn’t surprise me that nudists wouldn’t mind nudity.

    1. You know some funny libertarians. I haven’t met many who are okay with (mandatory) government IDs in the first place…

  2. For what it’s worth, that picture is a processed mock up using a nude model. It didn’t come from the TSA.

    And I’m not a nudist, but I totally dig naked chicks.

    1. The point remains entirely valid. I think they used the model photo to make this a more popular image to circulate.

      1. No question. Even with the real images, with a little messing with the contrast and brightness sliders in Photoshop, you’ve got yourself some pretty good whackoff material.

        1. Assuming that you’re a pervert, of course. It seemed a safe assumption.

          1. Assumption made.

          2. Honestly,

            If you can’t find something whack-off-worthy that is already on-line that doesn’t champion the best TSA scan then you have a fetish that needs a new word.

            1. +1

      2. Just spread the rumor that the scanner takes off 15 pounds and people will be lining up.

      3. If they’d circulate picture of ugly people, the TSA’s Union might actually come out against this technology…

      4. But seriously, her boyfriend needs to take her out and get her a steak.

        1. So she can watch him eat it.

    2. Why is the supposedly nude woman wearing a belt?

      1. To hold up her pudenda. Duh. Don’t you know even the basics of female anatomy?

      2. I could be wrong, but I believe that the TSA plans to use this scanner on people who are wearing clothes. Though, perhaps, maybe it’s all a big lie, and they plan to make us all fly naked.

  3. I’ve been to a nude beach on several occasions. I have also gone skinny-dipping in pools and such. It was voluntary. And oh by the way, if that pic was of my teenaged daughter? the screener would have to die.

    1. ben–Your daughter is HAWT.

      It’s OK if I complement you like that, right?

      1. You can’t tell someone his teenager daughter’s hot! His head will explode. Unless he’s a, well, Leland Palmer. Then his Male Gaze is totally not OK.

        1. “It’s time TO SHUFFLE OFF TO BUFFALO!”

        2. I was in a mall once checking out the awsome ass of a cute blonde chick, when she turned around and it turned out to be my cousin. Yes, she is HAWT with a capital H, but it still made me feel creepy.

  4. Being a nudist is about having your ugly junk out and being all I’m totally blowing your little minds about it. They’re Democrats.

    For what it’s worth, that picture is a processed mock up using a nude model. It didn’t come from the TSA.

    The TSA’s press-release pictures are processed mock-ups using nude models, too?that same one, sometimes. The real pictures are way porno.

    1. “Being a nudist is about having your ugly junk out and being all I’m totally blowing your little minds about it. They’re Democrats.”


  5. When I was a Cato intern I had a Neocon friend in DC who was always trolling Craig’s List for nudist events. He actually found one in Baltimore, but we never ended up going because there was something else that weekend (I forget what it was right now).

    Here’s the thing, though. When I moved to DC for that internship, I was expecting lots of bizarre sex/drugs parties, weird fetishes and guns and stuff. I wanted Eyes Wide Shut type parties, maybe with more Pabst Blue Ribbon and bongs and less masks and tuxedos, but, that was not the case at all. The Orange Line Mafia was relatively tame (a bunch smoked cigs, so that was a step). These were philosophy and economics geeks who occassionally checked out designer psychedelic drugs in college.

    Therefore, I propose that the next Reason happy hour be held in the nude. I’m sure The Big Hunt wouldn’t like it too much, so do it at the offices. Maybe the Crane’s would let you use their house. Reasonoids will probably live a little liberty, they just need a little…nudge.

  6. Are nudists related to the dirty freaks who go barefoot in public? ‘Cause I’m one of those. It’s truly shameful.

    1. I find that especially disgusting. No matter how badly I’ve mis-shoed an occasion, no amount of foot pain warrants unprotected feet/city street contact.

      1. What’s even worse is that my feet have gotten bigger since I started. And my toes are spreading out and getting all monkey-like. Foul foul foul.

        1. You know what they say about men with big feet… they should put some damn shoes on.

          Do the soles of your feet get all black and horrible like the barefoot hippie girl in my dorm? We shared a kitchen. Ew.

          1. Oh, yes. And the calluses peel sometimes. Black peel.

            So when are we fucking?

            1. If there is a filthy foot foreplay fetish, I’d rather not know about it. Pleasantly alliterative, though.

  7. I’m a Nudist… for other people.

    1. Other people are ugly, and their uglies are uglier.

  8. Now I know why they don’t mind going nude. They have no balls to keep covered.

    1. Nice.

      1. I would call them pussies, but that would be unfair to pussies.

        1. It’s tough to be a manly democrat.

  9. Adds Schuttauf, “Polls regularly show that about one in five North Americans have skinny-dipped in mixed company already.

    And really, if the HBO Real Sex is any indication, it would be great of these people would put their clothes back on. Sort of… nowish.

  10. I don’t think we can understand all the implications until Katherine Mangu-Ward goes through this scanner.

    1. I thought Howley was the official reason hawtness.

  11. In exchange for safer skies, AANR believes it’s completely worth it.

    What about human sacrifice? It’s worth a shot, right? Just in case.

  12. Those who would give up Essential Liberty, to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Shirt nor Pants.

      1. Wait a second, I can play too:

        First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out?because I was not a communist;
        Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out?because I was not a trade unionist;
        Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out?because I was not a Jew;
        Then they came for my clothes?and there was no one left to speak out.

    1. First they came for the clothed, and I said nothing…

      1. +2 (damn!)

  13. some of Reason’s commenters are nudists, so that’s probably the best place to start looking

    No, it is not. Your right to swing your eyes ends where my epidermis begins.

    1. My male gaze is currently shutting you the fuck up.

      1. ocularrape



  14. My great-aunt and great-uncle used to be nudists in the 60’s. I think it was some kind of Hare Krishna hippie commune type-affair.

    We drove past it once; it was a rustic-looking walled enclosure in the woods. Called “Happy Valley,” IIRC. Yikes.

    1. Canadian naturalists are only naked for what, like 3 months of the year?

      1. And even then they keep their cutoffs on.

        1. “There are dozens of us!”

          1. I didn’t see you at the convention

    2. The Tampa area has a boatload of nudists. I read something in the paper here once about Pasco County (the county to the north of Tampa) being the home of more nudist colonies than anywhere else in the U.S. Probably the weather has something to do with that.

      My brother, back when he was delivering pizzas, had a co-worker who went into a nudist resort (to deliver pizza?) and reported that it’s as unappealing as you’d likely imagine it would be.

      1. boatload of nudists

        Being naked on a boat is a whole other thing.

        1. They do that, too. There’s a big flotilla that comes into the bay for the Gasparilla parade, Tampa’s version of the reveal-your-breasts-to-men-for-$0.50-beads celebration.

  15. I think I need to finally buy City of Villains and make a super villain based on all these feminist crazy-rants.

    The Phallic Doom, terrorizing strong independent women across the globe with his deadly Male Gaze.

    1. How about this guy?

      I love HeroMachine.

      1. It’s like Fashion Plates for the Internet age.

      2. His wolf is also a serious womanizer.

  16. I’m no nudist, but I really don’t mind being naked in any company or situation (where it is warm and safe enough). So I don’t see these scanners, insofar as they picture you nude, as much of an additional privacy invasion beyond the bullshit they already put you through in airport security. I would much rather have the screeners see me naked than have them ask who I am, what the purpose of my trip is, etc. The latter are the things that really invade your privacy. A stranger who you are never going to see again looking you over is pretty minor in comparison to the invasions of privacy we already deal with. Most people could fairly accurately imagine what you look like naked anyway.
    Suppose, for example, that I don’t feel comfortable out in public without a Jason style hockey mask on. It seems to me that the airport security people making me take of the mask is just as much an invasion of my privacy as asking to look at me naked if my comfort is compromised in the same way. There is no natural feature of your dingdong that makes it inherently a more private part than any other part of your body. Parts is parts.
    So, while I am opposed to these scanners for various reasons (the X-ray exposure would be my primary concern), I don’t think that the fact that someone is seeing you naked is particularly important in the great sea of indignities we are subjected to in airports.
    And fathers of daughters: get the fuck over it. Everyone is looking at your daughter and all of those nasty boys are going to fuck her.

    1. Unless, say, the TSA screeners differentiate parts by acting differently. For example, when 7 dudes and the chick with the mullet are staring at the screen when that chick gets scanned instead of doing their damn job, are we safer? No. Its all Kabuki since I could just put the PETN in 3 or 4 sub-3oz bottles in a plastic bag and send it thru the scanner anyway.

  17. My understanding is that nudists are pretty much evenly divided into two camps – hippies and swingers. And for JT’s benefit, this comes from a friend who is a regular at Virginia’s Camp White Tail (get it? har har). I’ve avoided this because of the *&^%$#@! hippies.

  18. What’s up with all the “Male Gaze” comments today? Did I miss a posting here that introduced that meme?

    1. Read the Morning Links thread for today.

  19. And oh by the way, if that pic was of my teenaged daughter? the screener would have to die.

    Maybe it’s all part of a fiendish NWO plot to keep the righteous from using air travel. Now, who else would like this?

  20. And fathers of daughters: get the fuck over it. Everyone is looking at your daughter and all of those nasty boys are going to fuck her.

    Maybe YOUR daughters are going to fuck all kinds of nasty boys. Some of us taught our children to use more judgment.

    1. OK, maybe not all of them. But some of them for sure.

  21. I fully support putting lobstergirl behind the scanner.

    1. I’m curious what the lobster looks like in T-rays.

  22. Despise nudist. If anything, I’m a suitist.

    The idea that exposure should not equal sexual stimulation is perverse. The idea that your wiener should stay flaccid in the company of pussies, tits and asses is inhuman.

    Fuck nudist and their abominable Rousseauian agenda. Titties were made for squeezin’ not for mere body mass accentuation.

    1. Titties were made for squeezin’

      T-shirt Gold.

    2. I agree. Besides, would you want to sit on a seat after some naked person was sitting there? Ripping wet, HIV-infected farts? Would you even want to touch ANYTHING in such an environment? Me neither.

  23. And oh by the way, if that pic was of my teenaged daughter? the screener would have to die.

    BB, Would it make a difference if the screener were female?

    Seriously, I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from.

    What about a male paramedic who had to cut her clothes off to defibrillate her, or treat her wounds? Would it make a difference if the paramedic were gay?

    1. Tonio, you can’t understand where he is coming from because you are not the dad of a teenage daughter. A father of a girl is more protective than anything because he remembers his own teenage years.

      1. B&A I understand that it’s the picture part he’s getting exercised about.

        How can you state a priori that I’m not a father and why would it matter for my desire to understand where BB and those like him draw the line between offenses which require honor killings and those that don’t.

        1. Tonio, “B&A I understand that it’s the picture part he’s getting exercised about.” No, then you don’t understand because the issue is the sexualization of his little girl.
          So you are not the father of a teenage daughter?

      2. ? not . *&^%$#@!

    2. In my opinion, lesbians give the best pat-downs. They have firm, questing fingers that seek out all those little hiding places that others miss.

  24. Considering the knuckledraggers I’ve seen working airport security, I give it weeks maybe even days before images start showing up all over the net of both hot chicks and really really awful looking ones… pretty soon someone will land a pic of someone famous. Ah good times good times…

  25. I’ll have less of a problem with them scanning me in their special naked box when they will let me strut in the nude through the whole airport.

  26. Typical….can’t have an intelligent conversation where “naughty bits” are concerned.

    If it was up to each airline to determine it’s own security, I would have no complaints if they asked you to strip and stand in line. Of course, they would lose a lot of customers (as well as gain some). Each airline could be different, with some forbidding guns, and some requiring them. Let the market decide the level of security.

    But security is now via the government, and is uniform (pardon the pun) across airlines…your only “choice” is to fly or not fly. If the gov’t didn’t run security, someone would make the very valid argument about ground security (airplanes used as weapons), and that airport security is a valid government concern. Don’t forget that the airlines themselves want the gov’t involved, to absolve them of liability (and cost).

    Personally, I am a nudist AND a libertarian, meaning that while I have no modesty, I can understand that some folks do.

    So what is more important? Airline security or privacy? How about both? If you don’t want TSA workers to see you nude, don’t fly. If you do fly and your pics end up on the web, sue the TSA (yeah, I know the hassle of suing the gov’t, but I think public opinion would be on your side here).

    Go ahead and hate me. I’m use to it.

    1. Typical….can’t have an intelligent conversation where “naughty bits” are concerned.

      It is not ‘typical’, flappy. It is human nature. You are starting off with a set of flawed premises.

      1. I would peg it as cultural, rather than human nature, but I guess that is really splitting hairs.

        Thinking more about this subject last night, I envisioned a system that doesn’t require government involvement, whereby airports are private, and the airports (not the airlines) are responsible for security. Of course, there would need to be some security standards (could be private, like UL), and airports would charge airlines fees per passenger (passed on the the customers, of course), and purchase insurance to cover liability for lawsuits from victims on the plane or the ground.

        As it is right now, taxpayers are subsidizing air travel (via taxes to pay for the TSA).

        I like that scenario much better.

  27. TSA ought to offer to sell you your image that appears just like they try to sell photos of you and your party on those scary rapids or that bungee jump. It would add an excitement level to every screening.

    They could even offer a super close-up showing your crabs or your cancerous mole and even suggest treatment.

  28. The problem is that you have to know this is going to be abused by the TSA screeners. These people are unlikely to have more than a high school education.

    They’d probably pull a woman with a clit ring aside and give her a strip search, just because they’d think it was funny and want to see her clit ring up close.

    1. Why are you trying to assign TSA employees to your junior high school level?

      How can you assume they aren’t man’s link to lower life forms that have escaped human progress?

  29. “I, too, expected a nudist/libertarian confluence. Perhaps, like the People’s Front of Judea vs. the Judean People’s Front.”

    In context I dread to think what it would mean when one group accuses the other of being a “splitter”.

  30. Obviously nudists would be okay with this. The real question is what is the official opinion of the nevernude ( community.

  31. Only an idiot would imagine that, these fancy new and expensive equipment are going to make our “skies safe”.

    The government and people in charge of things are incompetent in the extreme, and a bunch of criminals to boot.

    Dumb liberals like most of you will always imagine that the government tells the truth, that expanding government power always benefits us.

    Reality is of course, not at all like that. It doesn’t matter if they strip search every single person going onto a plane. If a “terrorist organization” wanted to bomb a plane they will do so.

    These plane bombings have been false flag attacks anyways. Only a retard beleives a cd case full of explosives could blow a plane to pieces.

  32. A little known fact is that the photo on the left is actually taken from an old episode of the Outer Limits. Check Hulu if you don’t believe me.

  33. The xray is ok if all the women look like the one in the column but, I’m afraid that isn’t the case!

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