Alcohol

This Has Been Another Episode of Political Scandalettes That Don't Matter

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OMG was Sen. Max Baucus drunk on the Senate floor before wine o'clock?

Well, let's hope so, and then pour every senator another round. Nothing wrong with a little liquid courage to spice up the World's Greatest Deliberative. True patriots like Joe Namath notwithstanding, this nation has for far too long turned its back on the virtues of public inebriation. Would George W. Bush have been a better president had he kept in touch with this guy? You make the call.

Let's see, what's the other Drudge scandal going on? Ah yes–the president has taken a vacation during vacation season, and even enjoyed a round of golf. THANK CHRIST.

These politician-people are, despite whatever evidence to the contrary, just people. Fixating on their minute-to-minute behavior just encourages them.

NEXT: Global Freedom Had Few Blooms

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  1. If they don’t fixate on my minute-to-minute behavior, I won’t fixate on theirs.

    1. But… but… they’re better than we are, Fist. We peasants don’t deserve to be treated as well as They are.

      Didn’t you get the memo?

    2. The problem is they do fixate on our behavior and what we can/cannot do in our private lives.

    3. The problem is they do fixate on our behavior and what we can/cannot do in our private lives.

  2. Will we finally see mandatory breathalyzers and drugtests for congress? C’mon Santa, hook up the belated X-mas Joy.

    And, what Fist said.

  3. Not just drunk with power I see. Good old 80 proof Max.

  4. They ARE just people. And that’s why they are not competent to run the lives of all the other “just people.”

    That goes for everybody, of course.

    1. Are you serious? Are you serious?

  5. As a friend of mine likes to say, a “social”drinker in Montana would be a “problem” drinker, anywhere else.

    Tip another one or nine back, Max; if you’re sleeping under your desk, you’re less of a hazard to the rest of us (and our wallets).

  6. “We reached out our hands” but everyone thought it was just to steady himself

  7. I think the fact that Bachus is pushing the worst concieved bill since the Kansas Nebraska act is a bit more of sin than some drunken rant on the Senate floor. But, it does illustrate that the people in power in our country are just no class garbage. I don’t see anything wrong with a good drunken offensive rant. God knows I have had my share. And I don’t trust anyone who hasn’t. But even by drunken rant standards, Bachus’ performance was pathetic. What a no class bozo.

  8. C’mon. Waddaya expect from a guy named after the god of drunken debauchery?

  9. Wait, he’s not drunk the rest of the time too?

    1. That is the thing. There is no evidence that he is drunk. He may just be that strange. He might be a pill head to. I am sure a Senator can get whatever prescription he wants and not have to worry about all those laws that apply to the little people. Whatever his vices, it is a pretty good bet that he is a pretty depraved and sad individual at a personal level.

      1. Whatever his vices, it is a pretty good bet that he is a pretty depraved and sad individual at a personal level.

        Damn. That actually makes him relatable.

      2. That is the thing. There is no evidence that he is drunk.

        Hence the need for mandatory testing when they enter the building.

  10. The objection to Obama’s golf playing is the double standard employed by the left when discussing Obama’s vs. Bush’s golfing.

  11. Let’s see, what’s the other Drudge scandal going on?

    Well, the “Mao ornament on the White House Christmas tree” kerfuffle may still have some legs. 😉

  12. Can’t I just eat my pineapple?

  13. Bi-partisanship often means “the worst tendencies of both parties in one law.”

    1. Indeed. Bipartisanship is all about finding the common denominator. Fill in the blank:

      “____________est common denominator”.

      Its a law of physics.

  14. I don’t see what the fuss is about at all. He doesn’t seem drunk to me. He is filling up his time (alloted in the debate), he yielded to Wicker, and he took it back. I bet he had a procedural reason for doing all of this. People who are trying to fill out their time rarely sound inspiring, and may not sound coherent, but they are doing their job.

  15. If it doesn’t matter why are you fixating on it, Welch?

  16. I don’t see what the fuss is about at all. He doesn’t seem drunk to me.

    I guarantee you that if one of our doctors carried on like that while on duty, he would become intimately acquainted with our for-cause drug testing protocol.

    I dunno if he’s drunk or just drugged up, and I wouldn’t care except he brought his wasted ass to the office.

  17. Dunno, I watch him a fair amount and this is kind of what he looks like when he gets worked up, which isn’t often. He’s one of the most awkward, stumbly speakers on the Hill when he doesn’t have a text in front of him.

    1. Your obsersation that Sen. Bacchus acts like this periodically doesn’t exactly refute my belief that he is wasted, you know.

      Does he act wasted when he’s worked up, or does he get worked up when he’s wasted?

  18. What real woman wouldn’t want to get kissed by a drunken Broadway Joe? Even bombed out of his skull Joe Namath is fucking cool.

    1. There are rumors that Suzy Culber doesn’t exactly play on Joe’s team if you know what I mean. I think a drunken Chris Evert would have had a better chance than Joe.

    2. Tim, teeth in or teeth out?

  19. Shut up, little man.

  20. Whers’ the Senter on th’ other side of the aisle? W- w- we w-worked f-for w-weeks on th-this b… b… bill, and the, the leadership, on the other side, they were all like, “Thiz’ll be ‘bamaz Waterloo”… And as I try my best to stand up here in front of thiss body… Who ‘ere has the currage to… to… order another round? I ask you, my col-colleegs, wh-which bar ar we going to next?

    Where am I? Oh crap. *gavel bangs*

    President of the Senate: Where did you get that gavel, Senator?

    Max: *cracks up laughing, passes out*

  21. I’ve watched Baucus for a couple decades, and he’s always been a lousy speaker. In fact, he’s improved somewhat in recent years. He has a tendency to speak haltingly. What’s different this time is that he’s slurring his words. That said, he doesn’t have a reputation as a drinker. Maybe he was just tired. Or maybe he did have some extra wine with dinner. Maybe it was a combination of the two. In any respect, it wasn’t his finest hour.

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