When Your Neighbor Loses His Job It's A Recession. When You Screw A Whore Behind Your Wife's Back, Get Caught, And Lose Your Job, It's A Catastrophic Economic Meltdown


Disgraced criminal Eliot Spitzer has for reasons unknown been occupying a columnist spot at Slate.com for some period of time. His column is always dull, hysterical, and powered by a level of self-satisfaction that is undiminished by any apparent shame over the pain the columnist has caused not only for his own family but for a good Jersey girl trying to make a living by providing an honest service.

The abortive governor of New York's current column isn't really worth reading, but it is notable for one thing: Spitzer has at last located the toxic heart of the libertarian weltanschauung. It's not on the grounds of some Humboldt County pot farm or inside a Montana militia compound. No, the real spirit of Murray Rothbard lives on at the stimulus-supporting, TARP-lobbying, Fannie Mae-takeover-loving U.S. Chamber of Commerce. To wit:

The [U.S. Chamber of Commerce] remains an unabashed voice for the libertarian worldview that caused the most catastrophic economic meltdown since the Great Depression.  

The charge is too stupid to merit a response, but Spitzer's purple and unmanly overdescription of the Great Recession does remind us of what is most loathsome about Spitzer. It's unfortunate that he will be remembered only for committing a crime that in any normal society—that is, a society where puritanical fuckfaces like Eliot Spitzer had no power over others—would not be a crime at all. But by bringing up the economy and business regulation, Spitzer reminds us of a much more serious offense: his concerted efforts to make New York a more hostile place to do business. According to Forbes, the Empire State's business climate moved steadily downward during Spitzer's abrupt tenure. That has real effects on job creation and the well being of New York residents. Unlike his inept, socks-on sexual stylings—which merely offended good taste and set back the greater cause of female orgasm—Spitzer's attack on business actually had some victims.