Drug Policy

It's Good ta Be Mice Elf When You're Michael Phelps

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Hey, look which professional athlete is in a new advertising campaign urging consumers to "Be Yourself" while grooving to Sly Stone and watching a contestant swim through a psychedelic bubble bath on a Japanese game show!

Comments the L.A. Times' Dan Neil:

Culture deconstructionists will pick the spot apart for oblique references to the scandal. Phelps' chin whiskers are kind of bro-ish, for instance. He does look a trifle baked (could be the chlorine). AdWeek's Eleftheria Parpis wrote that "you can almost hear all the blunts lighting up in support as Sly & The Family Stone's 'Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)' kicks in."

And it really is too bad that the sandwich franchise's website is subwayfreshbuzz.com.

Even so, the Phelps-bong scandal seems to have been safely put to bed, and now that it has, it's worth asking, what have we learned? The consequences to Phelps—actually, the lack of consequences—suggest that something bigger than mere endorsement dollars is in play. It seems Phelps has moved the weed needle.

I made a similar argument in the June issue. And just after Phelps got photographed taking a bong rip this winter, Radley Balko wrote about "What Michael Phelps should have said."

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  1. “Weed needle” is a truly awesome phrase, and i hope i ever get a chance to use it in conversation.

  2. “Weed needle” is a truly awesome phrase, and i hope i ever get a chance to use it in conversation.

    Dan Neil, a Pulitzer-winning car columnist, is known for his turns o’ phrase.

  3. What, eating only *one* sub?

  4. Subway sucks – even with the munchies.

  5. Really, domoarrigato. Every self-respecting stoner knows that Taco Bell is the place to get your grub on after twisting a J or two.

    This is going to hurt Phelps High Times Man of the Year candidacy.

  6. Taco Bell

    word.

  7. You guys know that this “weed needle” is really more of a doomsday clock. When it hits 4:20 this country will be past the point of no return. The totalitarian socialists will take over and you all will be too stoned to care.

  8. The totalitarian socialists will take over and you all will be too stoned to care.

    Relax, huggy. We’re the ones with the guns.

  9. Well I for one am glad that finally there is some help with the weed needle. For the longest time I thought it was just me,J Sub, and few other contributors trying to move it all by our lonesome. Jesus, do you know how much weed you have to smoke just to get the thing to wiggle?

  10. Every self-respecting stoner knows that Taco Bell is the place to get your grub on after twisting a J or two.

    Big Beef Burrito Supreme. That is all that needs be said.

  11. Relax, huggy. We’re the ones with the guns.

    I swear to god I golf better baked. not sure about shooting – haven’t tried that yet.

  12. Phelps’ chin whiskers are kind of bro-ish, for instance.

    I was thinking more like Maynard G. Krebs

  13. I don’t even really see it. I mean, if it wasn’t him would anyone even think this commercial had anything to do with marijuana? I think people are coming down a bit harsh on this don’t you guys? It’s not like Phelps is Snoop Dogg.

  14. So, the bong thing wasn’t a scandal, but an endorsement?! Cool.

    I, for one, embrace our new, hungry, giggling overlords.

    I noticed recently that Grocery Outlet (the local grocery equivalent of the remainders bin) is full of cereal boxes with Phelps on them. Capitalism consumes all.

  15. Capitalism consumes all.

    Ten bucks is ten bucks.

  16. I was going to say somthing snarky about the name Eleftheria Parpis, but then I decided not to.

  17. I am a longtime sufferer of a known symptom of marijuana abuse, “the munchies”. Phelps has delivered the message that you can smoke pot, eat like a human waste disposal unit, and win gold medals. Well, my fat ass is only getting fatter and I haven’t left this couch in weeks. and Nothing is going to change…

    WAKE UP PEOPLE!

    It’s too late for me, but not for you!

  18. So, the bong thing wasn’t a scandal, but an endorsement?! Cool.

    Actually, it was more of a huge embarrassment. “Use pot and you’ll end up like Michael Phelps” doesn’t have quite the ring the Drug Warriors want.

  19. “Use pot and you’ll end up like Michael Phelps” doesn’t have quite the ring the Drug Warriors want.

    Yeah, it goes over about as well as “Use cocaine and marijuana… and you could become President of the United States!” Unfortunately for the pureaucrats, it’s just as true.

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