What Michael Phelps Should Have Said
Smoking pot shouldn't be a crime. Or the public's business.
Dear America,
I take it back. I don't apologize.
Because you know what? It's none of your goddamned business. I work my ass off 10 months a year. It's that hard work that gave you all those gooey feelings of patriotism last summer. If during my brief window of down time I want to relax, enjoy myself, and partake of a substance that's a hell of a lot less bad for me than alcohol, tobacco, or, frankly, most of the prescription drugs most of you are taking, well, you can spare me the lecture.
I put myself through hell. I make my body do things nature never really intended us to endure. All world-class athletes do. We do it because you love to watch us push ourselves as far as we can possibly go. Some of us get hurt. Sometimes permanently. You're watching the Super Bowl tonight. You're watching 300 pound men smash each while running at full speed, in full pads. You know what the average life expectancy of an NFL player is? Fifty-five. That's about 20 years shorter than your average non-NFL player. Yet you watch. And cheer. And you jump up spill your beer when a linebacker lays out a wide receiver on a crossing route across the middle. The harder he gets hit, the louder and more enthusiastically you scream.
Yet you all get bent out of shape when Ricky Williams, or I, or Josh Howard smoke a little dope to relax. Why? Because the idiots you've elected to make your laws have, without a shred of evidence, beat it into your head that smoking marijuana is something akin to drinking antifreeze, and done only by dirty hippies and sex offenders.
You'll have to pardon my cynicism. But I call bullshit. You don't give a damn about my health. You just get a voyeuristic thrill from watching an elite athlete fall from grace–all the better if you get to exercise a little moral righteousness in the process. And it's hypocritical righteousness at that, given that 40 percent of you have tried pot at least once in your lives.
Here's a crazy thought: If I can smoke a little dope and go on to win 14 Olympic gold medals, maybe pot smokers aren't doomed to lives of couch surfing and video games, as our moronic government would have us believe. In fact, the list of successful pot smokers includes not just world class athletes like me, Howard, Williams, and others, it includes Nobel Prize winners, Pulitzer Prize winners, the last three U.S. presidents, several Supreme Court justices, and luminaries and success stories from all sectors of business and the arts, sciences, and humanities.
So go ahead. Ban me from the next Olympics. Yank my endorsement deals. Stick your collective noses in the air and get all indignant on me. While you're at it, keep arresting cancer and AIDS patients who dare to smoke the stuff because it deadens their pain, or enables them to eat. Keep sending in goon squads to kick down doors and shoot little old ladies, maim innocent toddlers, handcuff elderly post-polio patients to their beds at gunpoint, and slaughter the family pet.
Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. I'll apologize for smoking pot when every politician who ever did drugs and then voted to uphold or strengthen the drug laws marches his ass off to the nearest federal prison to serve out the sentence he wants to impose on everyone else for committing the same crimes he committed. I'll apologize when the sons, daughters, and nephews of powerful politicians who get caught possessing or dealing drugs in the frat house or prep school get the same treatment as the no-name, probably black kid caught on the corner or the front stoop doing the same thing.
Until then, I for one will have none of it. I smoked pot. I liked it. I'll probably do it again. I refuse to apologize for it, because by apologizing I help perpetuate this stupid lie, this idea that what someone puts into his own body on his own time is any of the government's damned business. Or any of yours. I'm not going to bend over and allow myself to be propaganda for this wasteful, ridiculous, immoral war.
Go ahead and tear me down if you like. But let's see you rationalize in your next lame ONDCP commercial how the greatest motherfucking swimmer the world has ever seen…is also a proud pot smoker.
Yours,
Michael Phelps
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AWESOME!!!
Made my day
Radley, this is unbelievable work and should be cross-posted in every single newspaper and online news page in the country. I know you work for reason, but preaching to the choir will not change a thing. EVERYONE needs to read this. Keep up the great work.
Phelps definitely must include the following illustration:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_RFDCkGzS3T8/SUqfxoGw8nI/AAAAAAAAEeg/ISgF_p1FhlA/s1600-h/barack_obama_smoking_weed_picture.jpg
How ’bout we retitle that “the letter Phelps would have written if he was sixteen years old.” Because we all know how well “fuck you” letters manage to prove the point…
Some of the finest ranting I’ve seen in a while. Well played, Balko.
How ’bout we retitle that “the letter Phelps would have written if he was sixteen years old.” Because we all know how well “fuck you” letters manage to prove the point…
How ’bout you get back to work? Those burritos aren’t going to taste themselves.
Radley, dude, you sound stressed. Have a bong hit and chill out.
Amen to this. Michael Phelps should be able to do what he wants on his off time without fear of some sneaky jerk photographing him and gaining from it! I commend the sponsors that stood by him and I feel sorry for the narrow minded people who think they should judge others! Spend your energy doing volunteer work instead of talking about something you know nothing about!
“Here’s a crazy thought: If I can smoke a little dope and go on to win 14 Olympic gold medals, maybe pot smokers aren’t doomed to lives of couch surfing and video games, as our moronic government would have us believe.”
That’s exactly the point. When will the morons who support the war on drugs realize this?
Brilliant. I am so sick of this hypocrisy, not to mention “gotcha” pseudo-journalism.
Someone should tell Michael Phelps about vaporizers, however. Using bongs — ingesting any burned material — wrecks your lungs.
The letter should have ended not with ‘Yours’ but ‘Up Yours’
he never did apologise for smoking the weed. which is fine by me. Seriously,the guy walked home with more gold then a Pimp on 5th with 10 bitches.
Its just like Robin williams said.
“it’s only a preformace drug if there is a twinki at the end of the run!”
Phelps has the body of a olympian god and can swim like an F’n mermaid.
Hmm guess pot dosn’t just produce raging stoners and t.v zombies.
Damn.
C’mon Michael/Radley, stop bottling it up. Tell us how you really feel.
You have now joined the ranks of dope smoking, backward wearing baseball hat, low life, junkie, scumbags.
Get the hell off my box of Wheaties.
Mr. Balko nails it. … Again.
Radley, this is unbelievable work and should be cross-posted in every single newspaper and online news page in the country. I know you work for reason, but preaching to the choir will not change a thing. EVERYONE needs to read this. Keep up the great work.
Your e-mail account contains a list of contacts, no? Surely they are not all anti War on Drugs Liberty.
Excellent! I posted it on my facebook page.
Can you really blame him for not saying that. He’s worried about losing all that endorsement money. He’s a swimmer after all and it’s rare for one a swimmer or any other Olympic athlete to make any real money of their chosen sport.
Just watching and listening to this kid for the past several months convinces me he is not long out of a singlewide trailer somewhere and trying to get in touch with his inner dumb, street thug, wannabe.
PS: Santonio Holmes, the Super Bowl MVP, smokes weed too, so I guess it makes you great athletes.
Light up!
Loved it! Wish we could get this into the WSJ or NYT….and get a whole bunch of famous successful people to sign it.
i forwarded the What phelps should have said to all my friends. It is 100% on the side of what he should have said. even the people i know who are drug warriors say it was no big deal. MJ is not a big deal, it should be legal, and everyone i know and i am not exagerating any thinks it should be taxed and regulated just like beer and cigs!
tom/joe — sorry, but you don’t get to keep posting the same opinion under different IP addresses.
(note to H&R regulars, this isn’t *the* joe)
There are 1000 reasons why I love REASON magazine, and this essay supporting Phelps and Freedom is just one.
on a BRIGHT SIDE! HIS SPONSORS ARE NOT FROPPING HIM, and IOC does NOT CARE! Swiss watchmaker and speedo have voiced support and said they were NOT DROPPING HIM! watchmaker said it was his personal buisness and they are not worried. The IOC said he did nothing wrong, as he was not swimming at the time as well!
“Just watching and listening to this kid for the past several months convinces me he is not long out of a singlewide trailer somewhere and trying to get in touch with his inner dumb, street thug, wannabe.”
Project here often?
If I ever find myself in need of a writer to refute my smoking marijuana or anything else you sir are hired. Ah hell, I’d hire you to write anything if I could afford it.
I see market for Phelps gold medal pot smoking t-shirts.
Elemenope/Radley — sorry, but you don’t get to keep posting the same opinion under different IP addresses.
(note to H&R regulars, this isn’t *the* Radley)
“I see market for Phelps gold medal pot smoking t-shirts.”
http://www.drgreenthumb.com/Thumbnails/GreenthumbSeedsPG_AcapulcoGold.001.jpg
Wow. The cardinal sin of Hit & Run proudly on display.
What? You mean the silly circular denunciations?
Elemenope/Radley — sorry, but you don’t get to keep posting the same opinion under different IP addresses.
(note to H&R regulars, this isn’t *the* Radley)
WTF?
tom/joe — sorry, but you don’t get to keep posting the same opinion under different IP addresses.
Sorry, that should have read, “under different names, but the same IP address.”
JW Gacy,
No. Spoofing an editor/contributor is one of the rare events that triggers an appearance of the banhammer.
That’s a pity. We were doing so well.
Ouch. Banninated, I guess.
Elemenope,
Just admit what you’ve done and it’ll go easier for you, son.
Well this website is private property and it is within the editor’s rights to ban, unless it was unfair discrimination. I really hope you checked that he/she/it wasn’t part of some protected class before you dropped the banhammer.
oh noes…
Just admit what you’ve done and it’ll go easier for you, son.
“But I didn’t do anything! You can tell them! You know me! I’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG! HELP! HEEEEEL- [splick!]…[thud]”
That would have been awesome if he had said anything like that, but I agree with GhostShip that you can’t really blame him for not doing so.
Forward his mail to Room 101.
Today, Reason senior editor Radley Balko pens the fictitious letter Phelps should have written in rection to the photos.
I’m so high, I missed the typo until now.
Ha! You’ve made me laugh right out loud. I’m 60 years old and say BRAVO!
AMEN.
Fabulous article & right on target!!
Backbone.
That is what this response would have implied that Michael Phelps has if he responded in this manner.
He has enough $ to last the rest of his life without any endorsements. He could start his own business, (if he hasn’t already)and the others be damned!
It is about time that pot was legalized and the taxes used to pay off the debt and help the US pay for much need programs. The legal cultivation could create much needed jobs!
Legalization should be included in the stimulus package!
I agree, without the profanity or the wild indignation. I thought pot makes you mellow. Apparently not. Too bad, he could have made the same points with out the gasket blowing and ad hominem attacks and come off as reasonable.
[stands, starts slow clap]
I totally agree, and I am a senior citizen. This whole pot law is ridicuoous. Look at our newly elected President, he admitted to worse than pot.
Pot should be legalized and get these kids off the hook, its silly.
Excellent article.Enough about pot already.
Amen.
yamamama,
if you are a pot smoking granny, you are my hero.
Fuck you..and Michael Phelps.
bravo
So, Michael Phelps will loose his endorsement deals with the likes of McDonalds et al. Ironic, isn’t it? How, people find it okay for him to endorse so-called food that does nothing but slowly kill you, but he takes a puff on something natural (and in many cases, medicinal) and people freak out. Is it any wonder this country is in the shape’s it’s in?
First, pot should be legal. And Phelps should be able to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. But when someone pays (or stands ready to pay) you $100 million to be who they you to be, you have to put your ambitions and the money in one hand and who you want to be in the other and make a choice. When you sign on the line you trade your life for their money. Life is harsh. If the respondents to this thread think his sponsors give a rats rear about swimming you need another bong hit for a little clarity. When he signed the contracts he sold himself. Like the vast majority of respondents here would do if the world and gave even half a cr*p about what they could do for the bottom line. The rest, like most of the people I hang with happily gave the world the finger a long time ago. They decided that they would be themselves rather than sell their souls.
Hey, let’s not call the pot black. If Rad Balco thinks weed’s okay, that’s good enuff for me. Life needs more giggles & less seriousness. And those of you who don’t like the Tommy Chong & Jeffrey Lebowski (a.k.a, the dude) approach to life, get over it. All you probably want to do is accomplish things.
What a dumb move by Phelps in deciding to take a bong hit!
Surely he should have realized that the public would have a negative reaction to this. Also, he should have realized that all the bad PR from taking one bong hit of an illegal substance he’d pretty much take himself out of the running to become the next spokesman for Jack Daniels. Or Budweiser. Or Grey Goose. Or Zima. Or Martini & Rossi Asti Spumante.
Michael Phelps incurred certain obligations by agreeing to compete in Olympic competition. If he didn’t agree to it, they wouldn’t have an issue.
Michael Phelps incurred certain obligations by agreeing to promote other people’s products. If he didn’t take their money, they wouldn’t have an issue.
If Michael Phelps was a typical, non-famous, low-life, acting out teenage rebellion long past his teenage years, nobody would have an issue.
Your rant shows how really emotionally stunted you are. During the coming difficult years, you and others who agree that smoking pot is a vital issue are going to be easily recognizable as the retrograde anachronisms of a long past time. You’re an embarrasment, you just don’t realize it.
Step away from the bong and get a real life.
MP did Fast Times. So, now he should be able to dry it out & cache in on his glory!
Holy crap. Well done.
In fact, the list of successful pot smokers includes not just world class athletes like me, Howard, Williams, and others, it includes Nobel Prize winners, Pulitzer Prize winners, the last three U.S. presidents, several Supreme Court justices, and luminaries and success stories from all sectors of business and the arts, sciences, and humanities.
Richard Feynman was known to bake out on occasion. ‘Nuff said.
Can somebody Please Please Please
!!! Keep Dope Alive !!!
Leave this boy alone already.
If somebody had caught him jerking off…would it be right to put it all over the news?
For christ sakes…Please … leave this kid alone.
He didn’t do anything.
He’s going to make $100 million based on his image. If he wasn’t getting paid a shit load of money in endorsements I’d say this article is 100% right. But his job basically boils down to saying “oh hey, I use Speedo stuff and therefore it must be good!”
If Speedo tells him they want him to apologize, then he either plays ball or he loses his money. He didn’t say he was sorry because he felt bad, and he wasn’t pushed into saying he was sorry because people at Speedo actually give a fuck about the morality of a bong hit. It’s purely business – nothing more, nothing less.
Only a libertarian fucking idiot would drop $100 million so they can make a stand about casual pot use at some shitty college party.
I live near the border of Mexico and I can’t begin to tell you the devastating effects this stupid war is having on our region. The smuggler battle threatens to spill over the border at any moment and innocent people are dying. Tourism – a hugely important industry – is suffering. Stupid amounts of money are being spent on a war that simply cannot be won. It makes way too much sense to legalize, regulate and tax the stuff.
Someone with Phelp’s creds could make a difference if he would only speak out. What a shame.
We must help Mexico win its war with the drug cartel or we will have a leftist government running Mexico after the next presidential elections in 2012. Just like the end of prohibition, the decriminalization of marijuana would bankrupt the drug cartels’ main source of income and allows us to reallocate government resources to our military and homeland security. We need to think outside the box.
“Someone with Phelp’s creds could make a difference if he would only speak out. What a shame.”
Hahaha no he couldn’t. Most people don’t care about this issue, and most people don’t care about Phelps either.
The “letter” largely misses the real issue and ends up making some rather outrageous claims.
We should decriminalize marijuana (and other drugs) but not because they are harmless (or less harmful than other drugs we use). Marijuana should be decriminalized because drug laws, and myriad other laws, are affronts to personal liberty. But I’ve known enough heavy pot users to feel comfortable concluding it doesn’t sharpen your mind – quite the opposite.
The laundry list of successful pot smokers presumably left off one important detail: that those identified experimented with pot but did not continue using. I doubt that we would recognize many of them if they had – we almost certainly would not have called them “Mr. President” or “Your Honor.”
I read from several sources that Michael Phelps needs to ingest 12,000 calories per day in order to have the energy to be such a great athlete. Trust me, no one can consume that many calories per day without smoking an occasional blunt to stimulate the appetite. I’m no athlete but believe me when I tell you that I couldn’t consume 3,000 calories per day let alone 12,000 without getting a little help from the pipe.
This article gave me goosebumps!
It does harm the body over time, just as cigarettes and alcohol and such can do. And he is a role model and an athlete. He should not not apologize for this. I would not want my children seeing him and thinking that ‘hey, pot is cool! let’s smoke pot!’ It doesn’t necessarily need to be demonized, but pot and alcohol and tobacco use do not also need to be ‘promoted’ inadvertently by famous people as a way to ‘have a good time.’ I would rather people get the message that dancing, socializing, and getting exercise are also ways to have a fun time and blow off some steam.
If pot must be done, he should have done it completely in private in his own sealed up home or at a trusted (ie. where photographers would not be about) friends home. It’s smells absolutely disgusting and does not need to be inflicted on others.
“It’s smells absolutely disgusting and does not need to be inflicted on others.”
Is MADD trolling here?!?!oneoneone!
I bet Sadie doesn’t let her children watch television, go to movies, read magazines or socialize with anyone who hasn’t been strictly vetted beforehand. Can’t let the little dears have opinions of their own, ya know…
Yes! Loved the article, same thing I’ve been thinking all day. Could you imagine the effect he could have if he stood up and said this. Hey everybody, I just won 8 gold medals…umm maybe pot isn’t the devil…
We should decriminalize marijuana (and other drugs) but not because they are harmless (or less harmful than other drugs we use). Marijuana should be decriminalized because drug laws, and myriad other laws, are affronts to personal liberty. But I’ve known enough heavy pot users to feel comfortable concluding it doesn’t sharpen your mind – quite the opposite.
You are absolutely correct.Fucking dopertarians just get high and mumble about how safe the weed is,taxes and regulation while justifying prohibition of most other drugs.
Drug laws are an affront to property rights
great rant by balko.
matt is also spot on. personally, i am not for decrim/legalization because pot is healthy and a “good thing”. it’s just that criminalizing it, and thus users, is FAR FAR FAR more damaging. it is also (or should be) an issue of personal liberty.
fwiw, many in law enforcement, myself included, think that criminalized pot is absurd.
i’ve talked to frigging DEA agents who feel that way.
personally, i think pot is “lame”. but just because something is lame doesn’t mean it should be criminal.
Mr Phelps is only the last on a long list of successful people that have been caught smoking the “evil herb.” I am a successful pot smoking conservative that feels it’s “high time” we legalize it. Just think of the savings in law enforcement and imprisonment along with the BILLIONS we could net in new taxes. We need bold fresh ideas to today’s big deficits and this could be a great start. Please, if you have never indulged, free your mind, this herb is much less harmless then alcohol, and this is a war that’s time has come to call off the dogs. Legalize it, and tax it now!
“Please, if you have never indulged, free your mind, this herb is much less harmless then alcohol”
check your grammer. “less harmless” = more harmful.
i don’t think you are trying to say “pot is more harmful than alcohol”
That’s exactly the point. When will the morons who support the war on drugs realize this?
Never. Next story.
Timeline of marijuana legalization:
1. Hooray! It’s legalized.
2. That’s great, if you could just smoke it over there, thank you.
3. Yeah, that’s still bothering me, if you could all smoke it outdoors, and in excess of 20′ from any entrance or air vent, that would be lovely.
4. Marijuana should not be smoked in any public area.
5. The cities of [fill in the blank] now make it illegal to smoke marijuana anywhere near children, in private or public places including apartments.
6. In the most progressive legislation yet, the federal government moved to make marijuana illegal in all instances due to health concerns of 1st, 2nd and 3rd hand smoke.
check your grammer. “less harmless” = more harmful.
He was high on weed.
The non pot-head world replies with its own fictitious letter:
Gee, feel sorry for yourself much? Life can suck. We’re not all treated equal. But that doesn’t give you the right to decide what laws you will obey, and what laws you won’t. Quit whining about how hard it is to be an athlete because that is a personal choice, and you get paid damned well for it. Stop bitching and go check how much interest you earned on your banked millions this week while the rest of us try to work out how the hell we are going to keep our homes. And stop using OTHER people’s struggles as an excuse for your own bad behavior because guess what buddy – THEIR trials and tribulations don’t give YOU any special rights.
I kicked this nigger’s ass once cuz’ I saw him smokin weed and it pissed me off. At first I wasn’t doin so well, but then I picked up a beer bottle and smacked it against his nose again and again and again. I think I killed him.
It still makes me laugh when I think about it.
Bravo, Sam Spade! I too am a fellow non-pot-head, and share your sentiments. The drunk driving arrest back in ’04 doesn’t exactly do wonders for Phelps’s public image either.
WOW… Phelps is keeping his endorsements!! awesome.
I have 2 kid, 6 and 8, in swimming, I am buying them an 1/8th each so they have a head start on how to work a bong!… they look up to Phelps, so they may as well mimic him!
Hooray for Phelps… he is our pride and joy!
Childish, Rad. This sounds like the rant of a high school sophomore. The f-words aren’t really necessary. It’s not that I disagree with the sentiment, although I do. It’s just that it’s not very well thought-out or written. Sorry, that’s just how it is.
PHELPS U JUST KEEP GOIN ON WINNING ANOTHER 14 MEDALS……FUK EVERYBODY ELSE…..U GOT MY VOTE MUTHERFUKR….DO IT UP.
I would like to start a new Phelps-meme (if someone hasn’t already): a reverse boycott. That is, let’s all contact Phelps’ sponsors and tell them we’ll boycott them if they try to dump him for smoking pot.
Nice. I’ve tried it once too but.. I never exhaled.
Let’s get real! I work in an outpatient drug and alcohol rehab center that treats hundreds and hundreds of patients a year that come in for help in stopping their addiction (yes, primarily pot), and assistance in cleaning up the mess they’ve made in their lives. Pot is the great unmotivater. It makes people dream dreams – and do nothing. What’s the matter with just living life on life’s turns instead of hiding from it and medicating every little owie that upsets you? Pot smokers need to grow up and quit substituting pot for their mama’s tit!
We’ve grown up enough in recent years that it’s now OK to be gay, to be black…
and civilization has not collapsed as a result.
So isn’t it about time that it’s ok to smoke dope?
who, exactly, was “judging” phelps?
seems like most of the ‘fans’ so disparaged in this weird rant accept micheal’s right to a little down time…
seems thou dost protest too much…
Exactly what Michael Phelps should have said. No apologies necessary–if your kid bases his or her drug use decisions on what a famous athlete does, the problem is that you are a bad parent, not that the athlete caused your kid to use drugs.
http://www.theagitator.com/2009/02/01/a-letter-id-like-to-see-but-wont/
Id like to call bullcrap!?
At 67, I’ve never once tried pot – although I often have been and still am around those who smoke.
But it’s strictly a matter of personal choice. I couldn’t care less what others do in that regard, and I see no logic in making its use illegal.
I have noticed that many who smoke talk about it a lot. Maybe it’s the camaraderie of counterculture, but after a while I find myself wondering why it’s necessary to keep referring to it. I’d find it just as tedious if someone kept making comments about how much beer he drinks.
But…whatever. Smoke it if ya got it. It’s not my business.
I wonder what Phelps eats when he gets the munchies.
It’s telling that Phelps didn’t say that. Maybe he really is sorry he was getting high, and regrets it, and doesn’t think pot is so wonderful?
“Let’s get real! I work in an outpatient drug and alcohol rehab center that treats hundreds and hundreds of patients a year that come in for help in stopping their addiction (yes, primarily pot), and assistance in cleaning up the mess they’ve made in their lives. Pot is the great unmotivater. It makes people dream dreams – and do nothing. What’s the matter with just living life on life’s turns instead of hiding from it and medicating every little owie that upsets you? Pot smokers need to grow up and quit substituting pot for their mama’s tit!”
does the term selection bias mean anything to you? of course if you WORK as a substance abuse counselor, you will deal with… wait for it… substance ABUSERS… iow people who can’t handle whatever substance it is they use.
duh.
it does not therefore follow that there aren’t literally scores of millions of people who use mj responsibly and w/o problems.
like i said, i think mj is lame and i don’t use it, but i do know plenty of people who have in their life and do just fine. they enjoy it, and if somebody would rather smoke an occasional joint as their “outlet”, what’s the big deal?
people can abuse and become addicted to all sorts of stuff – even the internet!
mj is not physically addictive, it has no ld50 whAtsoever and it is not associated with violent crime. i’ve got 20 yrs in law enforcement. i know the way that meth, for instance turns people into violent paranoid crime bombs.
people who smoke mj otoh tend to laff at dumb jokes and eat cheezy poofs.
I never comment on anything but I must comment on this. First I have to say Michael is my heroo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the coolest fucking letter ever written and he couldn’t be anymore right in what he said. Smoke on mike!! take that next hit for me
I love Radley’s rant, it’s dead on. I would have cheered if Phelps said that. But I have to agree with that uptight guy Dave. Only a fool would give up the endorsement money to make a vaild case for pot. The fame will fade with time, sure he goes in the record books, but what has Mark Spitz done lately? Phelps needs to get the money while he can. I don’t blame him one bit for apologizing.
But it would have been supercool if he said it.
“”””Nice. I’ve tried it once too but.. I never exhaled.”””
I tried pot, I had no idea what I was doing, I was high on Cocaine.
Dangerfield was great.
i know the way that meth, for instance turns people into violent paranoid crime bombs.
This comment thread is hopeless.
“””It’s just that it’s not very well thought-out or written. Sorry, that’s just how it is.”””
Not only is it well thought-out, it’s sourced too.
AWESOME!!! this is the BEST article ever— totally have to agree with it all. It Is NOBODY’S business but Michael’s- leave him the hell alone. It’s just sad that these types of people have NO privacy to live their damn lives.. I absolutley LOVE Michael Phelps..and after hearing about this…he is even more perfect than I thought.
Only 40%? I think that number is artificially low. I also think Michael Phelps should not have apologized for smoking weed and I think your letter is right on! I hope Michael gets to read it!
1. it seems to me that the pot (hee hee) is calling the kettle black?? 90% of the people giving him crap for this and making it a HUGE deal have smoked pot at least once in their lifetime (go check your kids sock drawer..betcha find more than undies in it!)
2.Michael Phelps is hot….even when he is smoking pot….
3. HUGE Props to Balko for writing this
4. WHO CARES???? give him a f****** break
5. What ever dumbass took this pic and sold it to the British newspaper needs to burn…in hell
6. If you had to swim 11 hours/day would’t you want to smoke pot too?? ALOT of it?
7. Michael is still the coolest..and the best Olympian ever
He in NO way should have had to apologize… People suck sometimes
and lastly
FORGET ABOUT IT PEOPLE…DON’T you have anything better to do?
Have a wonderful day…..go on and smoke your pot..but be careful not to inhale…u never know who is watching!
Amen. A wonderful letter that one can only wish Phelps would write. Perhaps there is still time for Mr Phelps to change his mind and put a version of this letter out to the press. In any case, I shall pass it along. Thanks Mr. Balko.
Right on! Pot never hurt anyone. But, look at the violence and harm caused by the black market. Wanna keep kids off of drugs? Then, legalize it. Because right now, they have unfettered access to drugs through the black market. If people want to stick a needle in their arm, let them! And spare the rest of us the billions of expense of enforcing these unenforceable laws and the mayhem that goes with it. The drug laws kill more people than the drugs themselves!
A conservative Republican.
Best damn article of 2009–prospectively.
And careful, “Sam Spade”, you can’t bogart that name, especially not to do that kind of whine. Hammett’ll sue.
At first I wanted to be a writer, but then I found out that most of my favorite writers were chain-smokers or drug addicts.
Then I wanted to be a painter, but I found out that my favorite painters were alcoholics, drug addicts, frequented prostitutes or were homosexuals.
And now this? (Sobs quietly into hands)
Why do you have to end an excellent letter with MOTHERFUCKER?
Think about the word MOTHERFUCKER!
Do you have any kids for crying out loud?
Damn right! I don’t smoke pot, but am really tired of all the self righteousness and insistence that society has the right to decide what people can do with their own bodies. Hypocrisy is rampant. Thank you for telling it straight.
Michael Phelps,
Do what you want. You earned it. If smoking weed is the worst thing you ever do, I think you’ll be okay in life. You always have swimming to fall back on. I hear you are good at that. F off hypocritical America. Good for you Michael, but tell your buddy he’s an asshole for selling a brother out, and tell him he is out of the Entourage.
Except for all the nasty swearing at the end, that was a damn good piece! You would give your argument more credibility (and broader appeal) by leaving the f-bomb out. Though I can understand why you’re mad! That bit where you rattled off what police do to marijuana users was genius!
“What’s the matter with just living life on life’s turns instead of hiding from it and medicating every little owie that upsets you?”
Nothing is the matter with it all. You have the right to live a life of sobriety if you so choose.
Nothing is the matter with taking bong rips in a private residence either. Others have the right to choose to ingest substances into their bodies in a manner contrary to your personal preferences.
Oh, I also think that most would agree that the most prolific olympic medalist in history is in fact “living life on life’s turns”, whatever the fuck that means.
Balko gets the gold!
Phelps should perhaps point his agent toward Mt. Shasta Brewery. He’d be a great spokesman for Weed Ales. Try legal weed!
Just Bill:
Michael Phelps incurred certain obligations by agreeing to compete in Olympic competition. If he didn’t agree to it, they wouldn’t have an issue.
Apparently the IOCC doesn’t have an issue with it.
Michael Phelps incurred certain obligations by agreeing to promote other people’s products. If he didn’t take their money, they wouldn’t have an issue.
Apparently his sponsors don’t have an issue with it (or they at least have very little issue with it).
If Michael Phelps was a typical, non-famous, low-life, acting out teenage rebellion long past his teenage years, nobody would have an issue.
Liar. The U.S. Department of Justice has a huge issue with it. So much so that they’d take away his freedom over it.
So…who is off the reservation here?
i came.
Didn’t see this show of support for Ricky Williams. On the contrary, he was blasted by most. Now, all of a sudden, it’s okay to look the other way…hmmm wonder why. As they rationalize in the deep South it’s not hypocrisy…it tradition.
The laundry list of successful pot smokers presumably left off one important detail: that those identified experimented with pot but did not continue using. I doubt that we would recognize many of them if they had – we almost certainly would not have called them “Mr. President” or “Your Honor.”
How about “CEO“?
It must be a slow news day for the media to make such a big deal over a kid smoking a little dope. It must be tough for a kid to be thrust into the spotlight and expected to conform to this unrealistic ideal of what an American “HERO” should. Leave the guy alone!
And Radley has every right to get mad. Have you seen what your government is up to lately? I was listening to NPR the other day, and Michele Norris was cheerily talking about the fast-moving stimulus bill, and I couldn’t take it anymore. A bill filled with giveaways to special interests, bad ideas, rewarding failure, a cynical bill that if passed will allow Democrats to say “Candidate X voted to cut Vital Government Service B” in future campaigns (once such cuts are necessary to prevent a national bankruptcy), but to the cheery correspondents on NPR, this is all just fine. No gravitas, no cynicism, no doubt in our thoroughly disgraced representatives, just the news with sugar on top. You’d almost think the reporters at NPR are Democrats 🙂
Well said & linked!
Perfect. I wish someone in national spotlight actually had the balls to say this.
I bet he has the best connections
“Your rant shows how really emotionally stunted you are. During the coming difficult years, you and others who agree that smoking pot is a vital issue are going to be easily recognizable as the retrograde anachronisms of a long past time. You’re an embarrasment, you just don’t realize it.
Step away from the bong and get a real life.”
My delivery service said that when the recession started that most of his clients (wall street, traders, daba boyfriends) had to cut back from 3 boxes to one, or none at all.
There are high powered alcoholics and street bum alcoholics – I would consider the rest of the life circumstances before blaming the pot old man.
Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap.
Now I don’t have to say it.
And pose for a bag of Weedies!
(It’s the first thing I thought as I stood watching the TV at the DMV with my kiddo yesterday. Sorry if it has been used but I’m on vacay and catching up on the booze the sky waitress refused to serve me.)
Phelps retracts apology!
http://wineandexcrement.com/michael-phelps-retracts-marijuana-apology/367/
If marijuana laws were reformed there would be nothing to be sorry for…. start with urging your elected leaders to address the industrial hemp issue…then go from there…
We need more of this style of writing- the speech Obama should give:
http://freedomofmedicineanddiet.blogspot.com/2009/01/what-obama-really-should-do.html
http://freedomofmedicineanddiet.blogspot.com/2009/02/what-phelps-really-ought-to-say.html
HELL YES!
Tell it brotha
Now just get MP to say it.
everyone needs to read this!!
the best reply in the world because it is EVERYBODY’S reply to this insane, governmental war on drugs plot to destroy america…go viral! make a youtube video!
Amen!
Brilliant, and it’s also the downright truth.
How about we just accept the fact that some jobs include a prohibition on drug use. Phelps happens to be doing one of those jobs and knowing that they are prohibited he can choose to follow the rules he agreed to or leave the sport. There is no chance in hell that he became a Top Olympic Athlete just because a bunch of people like watching him. We watch him because he has pushed all the limits of human achievement to the max to become a Top Olympic Athlete. He does it for himself not for us.
While true that many of us have used drugs in our lives, it is also true that the vast majority of us stopped using them when accepting a job where it matters. As great an athlete as he is, he has chosen to not live up to the Olympic ideals he has agreed to, been living with and promoting since his rise to the top of the swimming world. He screwed up, got caught, and he deserves whatever consequences he has to pay for his mistakes since he is responsible for his own actions.
Last time I checked, there wasn’t an Olympic Games going on anywhere nearby, so he’s not presently employed as an Olympian (to use your job analogy).
Is there a statute of limitations in your mind as to how long an Olympian has to wait before they can use recreational drugs? Four years? Forty? Does the pole vaulter have to wait until they can’t even vault their walker?
If he actually wrote this letter, he was being nice.
I don’t understand why everyone is so “rah-rah” about this article. It is juvenile. I am all for legalization and I think that the war on drugs is pathetic and stupid. And I am all for privacy. But the fact of the matter is in this day and age any person’s behavior or action can, within minutes, be made available for millions to see thanks to camera phones(iPhones) and the internet.
And the problem with what Phelps did has less to do with the war on drugs than it does with the commercialization, and his wholehearted endorsement, of his coronation as the ultimate Olympic hero. Sure, he has trained for years and he is, by far, the best swimmer in history, but the fact that he profits from what is supposed to be a good boy image (and profits in the tens of millions of dollars) makes him more vulnerable to vindictive criticism when he does slip up.
The general reaction would have been similar had he been slamming beers from a beer bong or making out with a stripper. Michael Phelps doing anything wrong, and being photographed doing it, is the story. The lesson he needs to learn is not to stop smoking pot (though he does need to keep himself from doing it around testing time) but not to do it at a frat house. It’s to be discreet and indulge the public’s perception of him thanks to endorsements and advertisements.
Quit making this about, “Well it’s okay to smoke pot because this war on drugs thing is so stupid and Ricky Williams smokes it and so did Obama and Clinton and W.” That’s like a fifth grader saying, “Well Susie did it too and she didn’t get in trouble.” Grow up and get over it. Reasonable people know that pot should be legalized. Wish Reason writers would keep in view what the real issue is.
I believe that it is a common misconception and fallacy that pot smokers are moronic idiots that have no intelligence when this letter shows that a pot smoker has intelligence and the articulation to convey what he is means into words.
This letter should be the letter that is used as evidence to make the government drop all the hoopla that they have fed everyone for years about the danger’s of Marijuana and it’s potential effects on the brain.
True, I am not a pot smoker, I was 10 years ago…. 10 years ago, I was more artistic and creative and was a better writer with a little more zeal in my life. I remember that.
Good for Michael Phelps!!!! Well written!!
Really? If you think Phelps cares one iota about any of those issues you mention in the article, you’re the one with problems, not him.
Radley, you are a dumbass. I am a libraterian, but you miss the point. Smoking dope is illegal, and although I agree that there are worse things people can do legally it doesn’t change the fact that Phelps broke a law. Yeah, illegal marijuana might not make a lot of sense, but we are a country of laws. He should apologize not because he likes to smoke some weed, but because he didn’t obey the law.
To paraphrase comedian Daniel Tosh, “I hope they legalize marijuana so that pot heads have nothing to talk about ever again – you’re all so fucking annoying.”
Seriously. I could not possibly care less about legalization one way or the other. Put it to a vote and I’ll vote for it, no problem. The problem is that none of you have any power, authority or strength to get the measure up for a vote – and I got news for you, ranting in the comments of a blog ain’t getting the job done. For the past 20 years that I’ve known pot users (of varying degrees) not *one* of them has ever gotten off their ass to do anything about it. Nobody I’ve ever known has called a congressperson, written a letter (to someone besides High Times) or even organized a lousy petition.
So stop bitching about what Phelps “should have said” and start saying things yourself – somewhere more effective than the comments of a blog, preferably.
Going more than 5 m.p.h over the speed limit is illegal.
Drinking alcohol under the age of 21 is illegal.
Pirating music, movies, etc. is illegal.
Lying on your taxes…illegal.
Transporting alcohol over st line (for those that live near De and take advantage of no tax) is illegal.
Not wearing your seat belt, illegal.
Man, the list goes on and on of laws that I’m sure many of you nay-sayers have, or continue to “break” from time to time. Alcohol was illegal at one point. Didn’t stop many. Saying something is illegal is not a reason to say you shouldn’t do it (unless you’re talking to a 10 year old). I’m old enough now to know what is and is not right. When something (marijuana) has literally been proven safer to use and is connected to fewer deaths (if it was legal?drug dealers wouldn’t get shot over it?so leave that out of the statistics) than legal products (alcohol), then how can you sit there and tell me one is bad because Uncle Sam said so. Do a little bit of research and find out the real reason that it was made illegal. It has more to do with the male plant (that can’t be smoked) than the female.
One day it will all be legalized, and finally, you people will all shut up. Yea, I said you people
keep smoking more weed and win more medals,
Folks, it’s very simple.
I can’t believe no one has pointed this out yet.
Phelps is a great Olympic swimmer.
Great olympic swimmers are often GAY.
Therefore:
Marijuana use leads to homosexuality, QED.
Hey, you have to admit that requires LESS mental gymnastics than trying to argue that alcohol is as wholesome and patriotic as apple pie, and should be legal and taxable, but a LEAF is a tool of Satan… 😉
This is just PERFECT!!!
I just read that Kellogg’s has withdrawn their endorsement deal with Michael Phelps.
Please write and let them know what you think of that decision:
http://www2.kelloggs.com/ContactUs.aspx
Also, please consider boycotting all Kellogg’s products until they remove their head from their ass.
Is this something else or what? I want a Michael Phelps – Gold Medal Bong Ripper T-Shirt! Or how about a I didn’t inhale! T-shirt….lol.
Yes! Woohoooo! I honestly couldn’t have said it better myself, and I usually don’t admit that.
Thanks for posting the Kellogg’s web site.
I just let off some steam over there.
To the author:
I tip my hat in your general direction!
he should be able to enjoy life without being slammed for what he does in his personal time. i would rather see people smoke a little pot than drink alcohol any day!!!! You go Michael and screw those who think they are better than you; I would imagine that our country would be a happier place if more people smoked pot and relaxed more often. Peace
The point is, pot is an illegal substance and you are supposed to be a role model. You shouldn’t want to be compared to Barak Obama or any of the other politician – they aren’t role models? What you do in private is your business – but don’t let the morons that you call friends take pictures of you smoking it, or drinking alcohol or whatever it is you get off to. They will do whatever they can to make a few bucks or bring you down.
Hi Folks! Ijust sent the following e-mail to ‘comments@usaswimming.org’ I suggest you do the same, if you feelviolated by what has been done to Phelps.
Dear Sir/Madam;
Regarding your organizations’s decision to suspend Mr. Phelps:
Are you people completely insane? If you suspended every person in your membership who’d ever smoked marijuana, you wouldn’t even HAVE a membership!!! All this action shows, is that your governing members are not in touch with reality and feel no moral obligations whatsoever to let the punishment fit the crime. Incidently, these are the very same symptoms exhibited by real drug addicts – perhaps you should start testing the ruling body?
Phelps has apologised publicly, and in doing so has shown the fine character of an honourable man, yet he’s suffered humiliation far beyond anything that should have been been considered appropriate for such a minor misdemeanor. Now you’ve determined that the best course of action is to also attempt to sabotage his future? As a foreign national, I suppose I should be thankful if he is in less than top condition and emotionally jaded – or even absent – at the next Olympics due to the degree of sanctimonious tripe exhibited here. This is beyond belief. Grow up!
Mark Scattergood
(Canada)
BTW… DMC
Interesting little blurb, but do you realize that telling pot-smokers to ‘take action’ is comparable to insisting people with OCD stick to a tight schedule?
People smoke pot to get relief from stress and pain, not to exacerbate it.
Good On Ya!
Much respect for taking a stand against the hypocrisy.
Hello people-this is exaclty the type of artical that will hopefully help the American public wake up- people don”t even think twice when the FDA allows drugs that have disclaimers on their commericals that say stuff like- May cause bone pain, (??how bad to do think bone pain must feel??) may cause bleeding, or increase thoughts of suicide. We become numb to logic. I think everyone should write to Kelloggs and tell them if they don’t give MP his endorsment back we will stop eating their cereal or better yet lets start a ban on their cereal until they do. Kudo’s to the writer- a great well written artical.
As usual American Society is bullshit. Michael Phelps is probably the greatest sporman in America’s history , and just becuase he smoke pot ( who cares!!!) , all the stupid stablishment,including the sponsors are trying to put him down.
Shame on you , stupid americans
I agree that alcohol and tobacco are far more harmful and legal. Marijuana is not without it’s problems either. The ambivalence toward Michael Phelps simply mirrors our society’s ambivalence.
Pot is an illegal substance so it is wrong to smoke it. If you do the crime then be willing to do the time.
Cute article but doesn’t make a difference. He negociated a deal with Kellog…he broke the terms of the deal. Kellog has every right to enforce the contract……Phelps was stupid…..there is no argument.
I just called Kelloggs corporate offices and told them I will never buy anymore of their products. Maybe you should do the same.
Kelloggs Corporate phone # 1-800-962-1413.
GREAT article…and, P.S.
It would be nice if the freakin’ media would STOP showing the picture so my children aren’t exposed to it. It isn’t Michael Phelps’ fault that they keep seeing this picture plastered on TV and in news and magazine articles, it is the fault of everyone trying to make a buck off of it. It is sickening. Mind your own damn business and worry about yourself. He didn’t shoot anyone or harm anyone – leave the guy alone, as he is one hell of an athlete!
Thanks for the great read!!
Radley,
Glad you used the last three presidents as examples – one was impeached, the next drove the economy into the ground, the third is about to bury what is left of the economy. No one is rushing to put them up on Mount Rushmore.
Whether he likes it or not, Phelps is a role model. The fact is that smoking dope and driving while drunk are illegal. Period. Phelps has exercised incredibly poor judgment and may not appreciate his God-given gifts. There is a reason he gets millions in endorsements and is aboout to lose a good portion of that.
Sorry to cut through the pot smoke, but when I look back at the high schoolers that were lighting up, the overwhelming majority of them were not about to score Nobels. More of the dopers ended up as economic losers as compared with the kids that stayed away from grass. More regrettably, a good number of them went on looking for more potent highs only to end up finding addiction.
I agree with 90% of Reason’s positions, but on this they have been consistently off-base.
Wow Bart – you’re boycotting Kelloggs? They must be running scared now!
Seriously, when potheads are looking to satisfy the munchies, do you really think they care (or are cognizant) what brand of cereal they’re sticking in their pie hole?
“probably black kid caught on the corner or the front stoop doing the same thing.”
wow.. racist? or just spectulation.
I admit, I cheered for Micheal Phelps but after that comment, wow! Never again will he have my respect, and I wish him the best, but at the same time racism and comparing yourself to others to justify your point is no way of going about it.
Way to go, Micheal Phelps!!!
Good idea to boycott Kellog’s ( and ranger… I don’t think that “NO pot smoking” was a part of the contract Phelps signed with them!) It may not help… but at least his fans and supporters can feel better about not buying products from judgemental corporate assholes(who prob get stoned at least 1 a week themselves) I can’t believe it Michael Phelps really is a human being… who knew??
There is another really good article about this-
http://openmike.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/02/04/1781379.aspx
Some fun stuff to bounce off in these comments.
Phelps as Role Model – I’m reminded of Charles Barkley Nike spot from 15+ years ago. He said something like: “my ablility to shoot/dribble/dunk a basketball does does make me a role model – parents should be role models”.
I figured out out by age 13 that jocks are just that – jocks.
Inevitably we have the law-and-order-fool-with-the-rule types who think that immoral drug laws make drug use immoral. Some deep thinkers there. Wonder if they would turn in their peaceful pot-smoking neighbors because pot-smoking is “wrong”? One said “I am a libraterian” but apparently does not get that knuckling under to laws that, themselves, violate the non-aggression principle make him a very poor libertarian, indeed.
Of course Kellogs’ prerogative is to hire or fire anyone they want to promote their tasty low-value products. However, this doesn’t mean we have to admire them, their products, or their marketing practices.
Pleasure drugs are the subject of the modern Macarthyism – no rational discourse is allowed.
Too bad this didn’t wait for four years and a another boatload of medals for Phelps. Would this have happened in 2013 after his retirement, he might well tell Keloggs and USA Swimming to go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
usa swimming and kelloggs responses are overkill. he did not murder anyone. what about his dwi? that did not seem to bother kelloggs, before they signed him. anyway, whats pot got to do with his gold medals?let the man have his pleasures!
My sentiments exactly. By the way, wou forhgot to mention some of the founding father presidents such as Jefferson who also were familiar with cannabis.
Outstanding. I know so many “closet” marijuana smokers that lead incredibly productive lives. I myself have had to give it up because of testing and not wanting to loose my lucrative job. So now I just drink a lot more to relax. Go figure.
Michael Phelps is now truly my hero!
THANK YOU.
I have fibromyalgia AND endometriosis, all I ever get prescribed is shit that makes me feel dead or causes more problems. I get tired of seeing all these miracle drugs on tv with more and more scary side effects than weed could ever produce. Hell, marijuana is much nicer to take than puking up pills that mess with my stomach, so much better than feeling like a zombie from pain medication, SO much better than losing my desire to eat.
Great article! We truly do live in a hypocritical world.
We all know he’s not sorry about smoking pot, just getting caught 🙂
Give it a little time. California is paving the way for the rest of the country on decriminalization. Marijuana should be restricted just as alcohol. It’s not like marijuana makes you swim better anyways. I’m glad he didn’t use steroids.
People who smoke weed all the time are fat stupid losers. Most the the intelligent ones smoke once in awhile.
i don’t have a tshirt with him on it, but a do have this idea
http://www.cafepress.com/tshirtdoctor/2023569
It’s waaaay past TIME to END the BULLSHIT and we need strong people to do that; I wish Mike Phelps would stand up to the government propaganda about Pot. There are so many things about the U.S. that are ALL messed up due to blind slavish conformity. We portray ourselves as such a moral nation, but it’s a lie. The only TRUE morality comes from FREE people making their own choices about their own lives.
I agree and that is an awesome letter
Yes Michael should become a spokesperson to change these stupid laws. Imagine the DEA spends $20billion on the failed Drug Wars. The wrong people are getting rich..let’s eradicate the DEA, legalize all drugs (prescription heroin and cocaine), get rid of the underground drug dealing network and spend this money on the homeless and poor.
Stop putting non violent drug uses in for profit jails and ruining their young lives…
I am really enjoying reading your well written articles. thanks.
Hey man, I dont know who you are, but I respect you’re post because its the truth, its one thing to not smoke cannabis but the people who don’t support cannabis are sadly uneducated about the plant. you ask these people about cannabis yet they give the same stupid answers the old propaganda portrayed cannabis to be. I know plenty of people who support cannabis and choose not to smoke it. why? because they’re CORRECTLY educated about it. and ya know what i have no problem with that either i respect their decision and they respect mine. which is how things should be. Sadly i dont know when people will open their eyes, i dont support narcotics like meth, heroine, cocaine, but with something like cannabis which i found the truth for myself, i support this 100% because it can help people. you are all afraid of making it legal because you state all of the bad things, but you lose track of the most important reason why you want to legal something is because it’s benefits should not be shunned away for bullshit reasons.Support prop 215
is good
thank u
thank