Brickbats
? Parents who pick up a new copy of the Adventures of Mother Goose may find that the nursery rhymes have changed a bit since they were kids. A Minnesota publisher has decided to make the tales "reflect contemporary values." The three blind mice are now the "three kind mice." And the old woman who lives in a shoe no longer strikes her children.
? While we are on this subject, political correctness is coming to board games. Milton Bradley Co. has announced that the next edition of the official Scrabble dictionary will eliminate words that are considered offensive on racial, ethnic, or gender grounds.
? In Hollywood, producers of the new film No Escape say they changed the movie's original title, Penal Colony, after marketing surveys revealed that most people assumed that it must be a porno flick.
? In this same city, people are abuzz about the upcoming movie based upon the classic The Scarlet Letter starring Demi Moore. OK, so the producers are going to make a few changes in Nathaniel Hawthorne's story. Changing the ending to a more upbeat note and adding an Indian attack and a couple of nude bathing scenes? Well, those are for commerce. But other changes have been made to make the film "more relevant." Said one person close to Moore, "We liken Hester Prynne a lot to Anita Hill."
? What causes people to kill? Broken homes? Poverty? According to 200 members of the British Parliament, it's Schindler's List. Under the guise of protecting children, one-third of Britain's lawmakers have backed a proposal to ban the sale of all videotapes containing violent images or role models inappropriate for children. About 70 percent of British households don't have minor children.
? Jane Nofke was asked to leave a Toledo (Ohio) Museum of Art exhibit after she began to nurse her 3-month-old son. The exhibit was a collection of nudes by Rubens.
? Feminist author Alice Walker was honored to be named a "California treasure," until she actually got the award. She wasn't very happy with the foot-tall statue of a woman's torso sans head, arms, and legs. "Though these mutilated figures are… considered `art' by some," she said, "the message they deliver is of domination, violence and destruction."
? When Arizona Gov. Fife Symington suggested giving the people of his state a $101-million tax cut, the idea was immediately attacked by state Sen. Peter Goudinoff. His reasoning: Lowering state taxes will only leave Arizonans with more money, and they will therefore have a greater federal income-tax liability.
? For about a year now, the U.S. Office of Thrift Supervision has been pursuing what it said was a major gambling ring run by OTS employees. Offi cials seized hundreds of pages of e-mail and computer files. After their investigation, the OTS reprimanded eight individuals and suspended two others…for participating in a fantasy baseball league. The two who were suspended fought their punishment, and one's immediate supervisor lifted the punishment after the man agreed not to play the game on government premises. This leniency infuriated the investigators, who promptly charged the supervisor with failing to follow OTS procedures.
? The city of Los Angeles has ordered a nude dancing club to take down or modify a shower enclosure where its ladies perform. The reason: The shower isn't handicapped accessible. If the owners want to keep the shower, they'll have to redesign it so that a woman in a wheelchair can perform in it.