The Volokh Conspiracy
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"The Pleading Needs More Hemingway, Less Faulkner"
"Clocking in at 443 words and almost one-and-one-half pages in length, Paragraph 14 is a series of run-on sentences and sentence fragments ...."
From today's opinion in Doe v. Univ. of Iowa, by Judge Stephen Locher (S.D. Iowa.), discussing the Complaint (written by lawyers, not by a pro-se litigant):
Plaintiff alleges Defendants discriminated against him during their investigation into his purported sexual assault of a female student. His pleading, however, contains confusing and overly verbose paragraphs that are unreasonably difficult for Defendants to admit or deny. The Court therefore GRANTS Defendants' Motion to Dismiss without prejudice and directs Plaintiff to amend his Complaint to conform to the requirements of Fed. R. Civ. P. 8, which require a pleading to provide "a short and plain statement of the claim showing the pleader is entitled to relief." …
The Court agrees the Complaint does not satisfy Fed. R. Civ. P. 8. It further agrees that Paragraph 14 is illustrative of the problem. Clocking in at 443 words and almost one-and-one-half pages in length, Paragraph 14 is a series of run-on sentences and sentence fragments that alternates between the investigation into Plaintiff's actions and speculation about investigations into the conduct of other, unnamed "male students," all while using vague terms like "investigators" that may or may not include Defendants. Paragraph 14 also includes unnecessary asides—e.g., "really, one simply can't make this up"—and fails to provide the "simple, concise, and direct" allegations required by Fed. R. Civ. P. 8(d). And all to allege something that could have been captured in one sentence: Investigations into sexual misconduct are tainted by sex and/or gender bias in which female witnesses are found credible for the same reasons male witnesses are found non-credible.
Similar flaws are found in other paragraphs. Paragraph 13, for example, contains perhaps the longest single sentence (178 words) the Court has ever seen in a pleading:
And that secondly segues into how these investigators routinely approach these cases—whether the male is a complaining party or, as in this case, an accused party—the UI investigators do not work multiple times, let alone even cursory on the single time, that they "interview" the male party's witnesses—those witnesses are summarily dismissed as it pertains to credibility and on either on or the other of two contradictory grounds: first, if there are substantive deviations in the statements of the witnesses in support of the male student (either accused or complaining), then those witnesses by the investigators, and particularly including the investigators named in this complaint, are dismissed as contradictory (and hence not believable); in contrast, if those witnesses' statements are in the main consistent—that is, supportive of the male student's version of the events in question—then these investigators routinely dismiss the validity of these statement on the basis, of all things, bias; and that purportedly is because any consistency among witnesses on behalf of a male student must be the result of such.
(Complaint, ¶ 13.) Paragraph 16 is a long-winded diatribe (more than 330 words in length) asserting, in essence, that hearings are tainted by bias against males. (Id., ¶ 16.) Paragraph 17 is an even longer-winded diatribe (more than 380 words in length) asserting the same thing. (Id., ¶ 17.)
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I wonder how much the plaintiff paid for that word salad?
Too much, even if he filed pro se.
All filings are electronic. The clerk runs the filing for the grade in readability. If it is over the 6th grade, like 7th grade, clerk is authorized to dismiss without prejudice.
Any filing exceeding the 6th grade in readability violates the Fifth Amendment procedural due process right to notice. This is especially true in criminal cases.
If it's prolix
It's bollix
When I was a partner (or even when I was a senior associate) in a BigLaw Firm, I often had to teach young lawyers how to "write like a lawyer", because apparently a lot of law schools were teaching them to write like lawprofs (no offense intended). But I NEVER saw anything as appalling as that paragraph.
And the ways to fix it are pretty obvious. In the first place, except in a novel, you never start a paragraph with "And". My guess is that somebody advised the drafter that if he/she threw enough stuff into each paragraph it would be bulletproof to a motion to dismiss. Just as a hypothetical, can you imagine trying to draft an Answer to that paragraph of a complaint?
I don't know what you are talking about. Law professors do not write like that either.
The judge is doing the plaintiff (and everyone) a favor by dismissing. This is too hard to understand. The plaintiff has the burden of proof. It is harder to meet that burden if you aren't understood.
David, I didn't say that lawprofs write that way. In fact, I said "I NEVER saw anything as appalling as that paragraph." But good academic writing is different from good advocacy writing, and I was training advocates.
OK. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
“My guess is that somebody advised the drafter that if he/she threw enough stuff into each paragraph it would be bulletproof to a motion to dismiss.”
Could be, but obviously bad advice because the judge did grant the motion to dismiss (albeit without prejudice so plaintiff can refile).
Try to keep this hidden from Bryan Garner -- unless you enjoy seeing grown men cry.
I suppose when words are your stock and trade, you spend them like a drunken sailor on a weekend pass.
The phrase you were looking for is stock in trade.
I miss notice pleading.
Only the judge, and particularly justices, have themselves to blame.
Twombly. Iqbal. The work of judges. Judicial supremacists, really.
If one were to turn in a circa 1990 notice pleading - a complaint which might go 10 pages - today's judges would be lining up to bounce it out of court. Teeing off for not being specific enough for them to know whether it was "plausible", they'd make Aaron Judge stroking yet another 480 foot homer look frail.
I have long thought the "plausibility" standard and consequent decline in notice pleading were really just another device to shoo away pesky litigants an allow the judiciary to be, at least, both judge and jury. Or to eliminate access to the antiquated concept of a civil jury trial.
Granted, this complaint needs a lot of editing. It has to be readable. But since Twombly and Iqbal most of the complaints I've read, where the suit was anything more than a complaint on a book account or a rear-end car accident, have read like thrillers, cheap or otherwise. Designed to grab the judicial attention and persuade. And only secondarily to inform the defendant of the nature of the claims asserted against the defendant.
Come on. Twiqbal screens out only the most incompetently-drafted and the most meritless cases. It is a low bar to hurdle. Prolix complaints like this are not necessary or the norm for getting past a motion to dismiss.
But I think he is saying that practice has nonetheless changed. In his experience. Whether that change is actually completely necessary is yet another question. Many lawyers are, after all, risk adverse.
But I wonder, if a complaint WERE dismissed in federal court under Twombly or Iqbal, wouldn’t the litigant get a chance to amend? Implying that there maybe isn’t such a strong need to be overly risk adverse?
risk averse
Yes. Indeed, it's an abuse of discretion not to allow a plaintiff to amend (assuming plaintiff requests such relief) in the typical Twiqbal context in which a complaint is bounced for being too conclusory. (Obviously the loony complaints involving conspiracies between the Freemasons, the commissioner of the NFL, and the attorney general are a different situation.)
You might be surprised how many judges don't understand the distinction between whether the alleged facts themselves are plausible or the legal claim is plausible based on the alleged facts. I've seen way too many cases where judges ignored a very simple, straightforward alleged fact simply because they didn't believe it could plausibly be true.
I'm impressed that Judge Locher actually appears to think he figured out what paragraph 14 was trying to say.
I couldn't bring myself to read the whole paragraph.
I guess it should not be a great surprise that Kutmus, Pennington & Hook, P.C also isn't very good at housekeeping in other arenas -- their web site certificate expired yesterday.
I'm not alone is saying that I like the way Hemingway writes, but I don't like what he writes about.
I’ve often said that Hemingway‘s should be the model for legal writers, particularly the emphasis he placed on editing.
Hemingway's what?
Under some circumstances, I'd almost want to answer a complaint with passages like ""really, one simply can't make this up,"