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Tonight on The Independents: Where’s the Pork? Featuring a Live Pig We’ve Named “Pelosi”!

So sweet! |||This week's Friday theme episode of The Independents (9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT on Fox Business Network) is on the fat-tastic subject of government spending and waste. As such, we corralled a cute lil' pig and re-christened her "Pelosi"!

Not out of any piggish commentary about looks, but rather because the House minority leader said this last fall:

Is that true? Not according to Reason prince of darkness Nick Gillespie, who helps kick off the show with a tour of woe through federal spending, debt, and entitlements. Then former Lt. Col. Ralph Peters goes absolutely bonkers (in a good way!) about useless and fantastically expensive military programs. Washington Post reporter David Fahrenthold walks us through his a-m-a-z-i-n-g "Sinkhole of Bureacracy" story. Kennedy then attempts to enjoy all the congressional perks on Capitol Hill (only getting thrown out a couple of times!), Adam Andrzejewski talks about his terrific "Open the Books" app, and before you can say "Napoleon" it's time to eat some delicious bacon!

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  • DEG||

    I'm drinking Squam Brewing's Winter Wheat. What are all of you drinking?

  • BigT||

    Peg Leg Imp Stout - clipper City Brewing, Balto

  • BigT||

    And some Panama Red

  • DEG||

    I like Imperial Stouts. Weyerbacher's Old Heathen is my current favorite.

  • Sudden||

    I will be picking up my quarterly stipend from The Bruery sometime in the next week or two.

    Rumor has it Chocolate Rain is among the bottles. No Black Tuesday though.

  • DEG||

    I wonder if I can get that in MA. I doubt I can get it in NH.

  • DEG||

    Their website has a beer locator. This sucks. None in New England. Some in New Jersey. I don't like stopping in New Jersey when I go to PA to visit my folks. None in PA either.

  • BigT||

    WOH's reviews look good. I'll try to find it. Milk stouts are my favorites - a tad sweeter than imps, and usually cheaper.

  • SweatingGin||

    A Negroni. First non-nyquil drink I've had in a week. Feels good to be not sick.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Way too much fucking Storm King...

  • ||

    Heineken and Devassa Tropical Lager, you been snob.

  • ||

    Beer snob. See, my beer is good!

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Heineken? Is? Beer? Snob?

  • ||

    What the fuck is with people not liking Heineken? WTF?

    From the time that I started drinking beer, around age 24, I know I drank more Heiney than any other beer for the next 10 years. Maybe that is why I am so fond of it.

  • Sudden||

    A few reasons:

    Use of adjuncts
    Diacetyl formation from lightstruck bottles designed by marketing idjits
    Fuck the Dutch!

  • DEG||

    Fuck the Dutch? Nah... well... maybe if you're speaking literally and about good looking Dutch women.

    I arrived at Schiphol Airport on a red-eye at 5 AM. The bars were open and pouring Heinekin. Therefore, the Dutch can't be all that bad.

  • Sudden||

    I rather enjoyed my own time in Amsterdam myself. Whether cafes or houses of ill repute.

    Fuck the Dutch Reference Explained

  • DEG||

    I'm planning to head there in May, and I hope to enjoy both cafes and houses of ill repute, as well as the Rijkmuseum.

  • SweatingGin||

    For the longest time, every time I had heineken, it was skunky (those damn green bottles).

    I started to assume that was how it was supposed to taste.

    When I finally had it on draft, it was not terrible.

    I prefer a bit fuller of a beer, though -- amber or darker, usually.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Heineken is the cute beer at the cover band late night small town kick ass party.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    It's all skunky unless you drink it quick at a hot buzzfest.

  • ||

    ^^This

    Heinie and Becks seem to always be skunky. I recently had some Becks Sapphire and found it to be very good. Dark bottle though, so???

  • SweatingGin||

    Dark bottle though, so???

    Yep, that's why beer belongs in brown bottles.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    I like Heineken... It's just Bud/Coors/Miller in a green bottle at the town's best cover band, dear. You ain't gettin' hammered on all the above...

  • ||

    Seriously, I have had Heineken a few times that it had that 'skunky' taste that you talk about. That probably has not happened to me in at least 10 years.

    Also, Devassa, the best fucking pilsner beer on the planet.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Wat? Have you placed yourself on a strange planet, child?

  • ||

    You don't like Devassa?

  • GILMORE||

    Old Crow from the bottle while listening to Elvis.

  • SweatingGin||

    Instant fashion review prep?

  • GILMORE||

    Yep. It warms up the engine.

  • GILMORE||

    Only now its Jerry Lee Lewis.

    Next I'm guessing I will get Big Joe Turner. My Pandora has telepathy.

  • SweatingGin||

    I've spent the whole day listening to Frank Zappa, and now drinking second negroni. Brain is in prime weird-mode.

  • GILMORE||

    I don't like negronis.

    Sapphire Gimlets, more my thing. However, stomach lining has sent me a memo saying, "Christ man, stop doing that"

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Jerry Lewis on the last lap is a dick I hear.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Jerry Lewis on the last lap is a dick I hear.

  • seguin||

    Austin Beerworks' Black Thunder.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    Whatever the sushi bar has

  • Big Chief||

    Early Times and Diet Soda High Ball. A sort of homemade Four Loko. Take that Schumer!

  • PapayaSF||

    Red wine. Beer makes you fat.

  • Alton Knutson||

    Leffe

  • mr simple||

    After waiting a half hour for the page to load on my tablet (I finally feel the pain of those without Chrome and extensions) I will say I am drinkinv Aventinus. It is Spring; time for the bocks.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Way to eff up the title tag, Welch. Third time in a row, at least.

  • kibby||

    It's your fault he drinks so much.

  • Sudden||

    I suppose next you'll blame me for all the raping and beatings that accompany the drinking.

  • kibby||

    Well I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you bring it up...

  • Agile Cyborg||

    You still said anything....

  • Sudden||

    Leave kibby alone. She simply cannot look at me without getting the rape eyes. I'm used to the female gaze now.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Rape gaze is your condition... I have nothing in pill form that can help you, dear...

  • SweatingGin||

    I was just going to say, I'm staring to like the way the title is screwed up most of this week, and he just runs with it.

  • BigT||

    It's attention getting to pedants.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Well, now he fixed it, making me look like a total dick!

  • Byte Me||

    I'll pre-empt Nancy "Wicked Witch of the West" Pelosi: NOTHING. LEFT. TO CUT.

  • BigT||

    The left is exactly what should be cut

  • BigT||

  • Wasteland Wanderer||

  • kibby||

    Aw, goatly.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    An engineer at a business meeting:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg

  • DEG||

    Heh.

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Typical. The redhead would be fairly hot if she dropped a few lbs.

    There. Business meetings need some patriarchy and sexism, right?

  • Byte Me||

    I found the bit about the colors amusing because, when you actually draft in CAD, there are more colors available than you care to deal with. The good thing is that they all simply have number designations, instead of flamboyant names.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    The British accent is amusing since the British have no journalism.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    I feel like I've been in that meeting

  • RannedPall||

    Nothing. Left. To. Cut. Except some thick strips of pork belly, which can then be cured and smoked, and then fried for breakfast. Their rendered fat can then be stored, and used to fry up a sinful fried egg sandwich, for lunch. And for dinner....bacon fat, with bourbon!

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Rendered fat is also quite nice stirred chunkily into bizkuit mix... freeze it first tho... you want spots of melted fat suspended in rotund fluffy baked goodness.

  • RannedPall||

    You a southern Dixie? As good as that sounds, biscuits, regrettably, aren't a big staple of SoCal cuisine. But bacon, bacon is the meat that brings the world together....except maybe the Middle East.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    You don't need to be a fuckin southie to understand that freezing butter and/or fat is awesome for bizkuits, pall!

  • RannedPall||

    Well shit, I reckon I don't even know what the hell a bizkuit is, enlighten me!

  • Agile Cyborg||

    A bizkuit is the lava lamps of biscuits, man.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I hate to remind you Peanuts but Ron Paul brought the pork back to Texass a'plenty.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    What do you grease Palin's Buttplug with? Bear fat?

  • Wasteland Wanderer||

    You really don't want to know.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Mama Moose Mucus!

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Bear fat is slidiferous... Way more than moose boogers... I'd so slide into a waterpark tunnel called Palin's Butthole... wait...

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Let's just tell the truth.

    If you got Sista Sarah drunk as a coot and 3-hole fucked her you would be in her sweet spot. She is that damn good.

    But the GOP tried to foist her on us as some sort of "leader" or something.

    Total fail, GOP!

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Leader is NOT the same as backwoods party fucktoy with rewards, Palin!

  • Bam!||

    As such, we corralled a cute lil' pig and re-christened her "Pelosi"!

    Stossel trained you well. Have it drive around in a subsidized golf cart while holding giant novelty scissors.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I'm trying to finish the finale of True Detective right now so everyone just pipe down.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    For FY 2011, Rep. Paul submitted requests for 41 earmarks worth $157,093,544. The previous year, he submitted 54 earmarks totaling a whopping $398,460,640, including $2.5 million for a redevelopment project in Baytown, Texas. Among the essential public services that the earmark would finance were "trash cans…and decorative street lighting."

    http://news.yahoo.com/ron-paul.....ZJUDM1N18x

  • BigT||

    And he voted against spending that money.

  • eyeroller||

    All the earmarking causes the size of these huge spending bills to increase. So Ron Paul helped increase spending, then he symbolically "voted against it" knowing there was a 100% chance it would pass anyway.

    That's how he got re-elected. His constituents don't agree with anything he says (except abortion).

  • mashed potatoes||

    Since he voted against it, I see it more as, I'm against the tragedy of the commons, but since our entire country is headed that way, might as well put in.

  • ||

    Why did you name the pig, Pelosi? When there was a clear opportunity to name it 'Piglosi'?

    Lack of imagination? For a little over 6 figures and 8 weeks vacation, I'm available.

  • Sudden||

    For a little over 6 figures and 8 weeks vacation, I'm available.

    Have you tried USAJobs.gov? I think part time mail clerks start around that level. You'll have to join SEIU though.

  • ||

    No, I forgot that feeling like part of the problem is not an option.

  • Sudden||

    You'll be a part of the solution by being part of the problem.

    It's Ron Swanson 101: you can only destroy from within. Just get a job at the EPA and don't do dick all day*

    *note: this should not be interpreted as no fapping. fapping is encouraged. its better govt employees fuck themselves instead of others.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "John Hyatt, Director of Manchester Institute for Research and Innovation in Art and Design (MIRIAD) at Manchester Metropolitan University [in UK] snapped images of what he claims are [fairies]... whilst out photographing the Lancashire landscape over the last two years....

    "John, 53, who was a member of the Three Johns punk band in the 1980s and 1990s insists his photos are genuine and have not been altered in any way....

    "“I don’t believe they are just smaller versions of us and go home and have a cup of tea at the end of the day....

    "“They are just beautiful pictures and beauty can make people believe.”"

    http://www.manchestereveningne.....ey-6909619

  • LynchPin1477||

    Every one of those fairies is spread eagle. Dirty, dirty fairies.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Dirty fairies make excellent fantasy pizzas with tons of dwarf cheeses.

  • Sudden||

  • Sudden||

    This is mostly for Fist.

    Consider it me paying homage for all your firsts in the PM links

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    NO SPOILERS.

  • Sudden||

    It is spoiler free. The first five seconds of the video only warns against spoilers in case you haven't seen seasons 1-3.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Nice.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "(Reuters) - An angry crowd attacked a treatment center in Guinea on Friday where staff from Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) were working to contain an outbreak of the deadly Ebola virus, forcing it to shut down, a spokesman for the medical charity said."

    http://www.reuters.com/article.....=worldNews

  • Raven Nation||

    WTF??!! MSF is one of the few international "do good" groups that I think actually do good work.

  • Mellow Kitty||

    Africa is fucking nuts when it comes to cultural beliefs about Western medicine. If your only exposure to modern medical science is the rambling of some delusional politician-cum-witch doctor, you might actually come to believe that the white man is deliberately infecting you with polio to give you AIDS. Or something equally retarded.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Well, kid, add China to your insane list of fucking fucked up killophrodesiacs.

  • Mellow Kitty||

    Yep, Pakistan and other ME nations are awful too. Vaccines are touted as mass-sterilization schemes peddled by The Nefarious Jew Doctor, so it's better that a whole generation of children be paralyzed. Utterly insane.

  • ||

    Anyone here ever play Battlefield 3 or 4? One of my friends at work is obsessed with that game and wants me to play. I'm looking at it and thinking, meh, I dunno...

  • Byte Me||

    I have it, but haven't played in a while. It's fun. You can use vehicles and things that you cannot in CoD. I'd say it's worth trying.

  • ||

    Yeah, I saw that, he has a youtube channel and forced me to watch like an hour of it.

    I really like FPS games, but my experience is more with games like Badlands and Fallout NV, where there's more of an RPG environment, than just pure FPS.

    But, I did like what I saw, and I might need to get on and kill him once to make him STFU.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Shut the fuck up and play System Shock 2.

  • Mellow Kitty||

    I prefer the Battlefield: Bad Company franchise, if only for the style of the multiplayer.

  • Derpetologist||

    I think I found Palin Buttplug's youtube channel. Check out the choice derp of 5 Stupid Things About Libertarianism:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJwN-EwBOgM

    I'm on my 2nd mojito.

  • SweatingGin||

  • GILMORE||

    Do you muddle your own mint for each one, or do you do just a bunch then slop more booze on top of it until it just tastes like dead cellulose?

  • Derpetologist||

    I bought mine at a gas station. Perhaps I should have put it in quotes.

  • GILMORE||

    lol

    jesus. I feel 'classy'. And I'm drinking $15 whiskey out of a coffee cup now.

  • SweatingGin||

    I can't wait till my mint sprouts. It's fucking mint-julep time.

    ... out of bourbon.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    you mix your own drinks?
    THEN WHAT ARE YOU PAYING YOUR DOMESTIC STAFF FOR?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I'm on my 2nd mojito

    You're one of the Bond girls?

  • Byte Me||

    ...government does not have to be the enemy of the people, it can be a tool of the people.

    Well, I agree that there are a lot of 'tools' in government.

    I happen to believe in Lincoln's "of, by, and for the people" thing...

    Interesting that he invokes one of the worst of Lincoln's rhetorical statements when Lincoln (I hope this doesn't start some huge debate) demonstrated very clearly in his actions that he believed the exact opposite.

  • Byte Me||

    Also:

    Libertarians assume that people would just work out an ideal or at least improve society...

    Yea, it's called BUSINESS.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Did that guy just say that using reason over emotion was stupid?

  • Derpetologist||

    Yes, along with many other idiocies.

    Be warned, my friend. It is The Deep Derp of Old.

  • ||

    Doubt it. Part of PB's shtick is to claim that he's really a libertarian/classical liberal, but all us peanuts are in the tank for TEAM RED.

  • ||

    From the comments on the WaPo records hole in the ground story. Real? Satire? DELICIOUS.

    /29/2014 9:43 PM EDT
    They should stop screwing around with the system. It works fine. And when some rogue nation decides to destroy the U.S. power grid, Federal employees will be quite thankful that their records are still housed safely underground and on paper. Of course getting their computerized retirement payments processed and transferred to their banks might be a different matter.
  • GILMORE||

    Progressive children's book banned from reading list via typical progressive criticisms = calling it 'bigoted, sexist, and offensive'

    http://www.reuters.com/article.....0A20140405

    in a similar note = Huck Finn was first banned because it *opposed* racism and slavery. Now its banned because Nigger Jim is too deferential to Huck.

    Progs = 'Fixing The World's Problems With Worse Solutions' since the 19th century.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    The book is still in the school library. It will simply be extracurricular reading. Horror!

    Schools make curriculum decisions all the time. But such decisions generally only make the news if they're in response to parental pressure. In other words, the media message is that only Trained Professionals with Education degrees are entitled to make curricular decisions.

  • GILMORE||

    I have no position on the issue other than to point out that progressives and conservative Christians have achieved the Singularity in both pretending to speak for the 'oppressed classes' by demanding the ban-hammer for whatever shit they think isn't good for their snowflakes.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Uh, the more school choice we get the *more* instances we'll have of parents choosing what books students study for academic purposes. This is a *good* thing.

  • Mellow Kitty||

    More school choice? Great. Except that doesn't apply, since the article specifically cites an Idaho public school system. Using the heckler's veto to suppress what can be read at a public institution isn't a good thing, Eddie. Somehow I think you'd be less positive if pro-abortion literature were enshrined in your kid's school curriculum changes.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Uh, I was contrasting book-selection by teachers and administrators to book-selection to elected school board members responding to parental pressure. If curricular decisions are "censorship," then both teachers and parents are censors. The media narrative is that it's only censorship when parents influence the decisions. Of course it's unfair for the majority to impose its curricular choices on the minority, but that's not the story the media gives, they would prefer that public-school employees impose their views on *everyone.*

    "Somehow I think you'd be less positive if pro-abortion literature were enshrined in your kid's school curriculum changes."

    I admit that sometimes (as in this case) I find difficulty figuring out what views you're imputing to me. Please let me know, since I obviously don't know what my views are.

    I *thought* my views were that the more parental control over education, the better. The majority-rule aspect of local school districts is a problem school choice can cure, but that's not the cure that the media proposes - they would shit all over the majority *and* the minority.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    You characterized parental influence as "demanding the ban-hammer for whatever shit they think isn't good for their snowflakes." That "problem" would get *worse* with more choice - with homeschooling parents "censoring" whatever curricular materials they want.

    Not extracurricular readings, curricular readings.

  • Mellow Kitty||

    I support parental control over education, but that's a problem solved by private schooling/homeschooling. Not by a mob of angry parents forcing everybody in a compulsory, public system to kowtow to their notions of "proper" literature. We both want the same thing, I was just criticizing your nonchalance at the notion that the hecklers get to dictate what everybody's kid should read.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Well, our differences were probably magnified by the requirements of arguing on the Internet, but my comment was about the choice (the false choice, ultimately) between public-school administrators setting the curriculum unaccountably versus at least having a majority of the local parents decide.

    And in this case, the book remains in the school library, it just isn't in the curriculum, so it's not as if they're taking the minority that likes the book and screwing them.

  • seguin||

    Progs are incapable of reading comprehension. Just look at PB for proof.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    'Huck Finn' is one of the great liberal books in US history. So if progressives wish to fuck it up then so be it - I won't help them. Fuck their revisionism in fact.

    The great conservative voice Rush 'King of the Rednecks' Limbaugh is out there writing children's books to promote white supremacy. I don't really care myself.

    But I do care when PigBoy lies about US history to obtain his goal.

    I hate liars.

  • seguin||

    See?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    See what?

    Mark Twain is the great American and a liberty loving true hero.

    PigBoy (Fat Rush) despises everything about Mark Twain.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Wut?

    You're trying way too hard. This is pathetic, even for you.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Bullshit. I live in Georgia. I cannot even converse with my stupid redneck relatives.

    They are eaten up with this American White Exceptionalism bullshit PigBoy preaches to their scurvy asses every day 12-3. They are hooded wannabes and Rush teaches them to despise "others".

    He is blight on this country.

  • PapayaSF||

    I doubt if you have ever listened to even an hour of Limbaugh.

  • Marshall Gill||

    What difference if he had. Words do not have the same meaning to the insane that they have to the rest of us.

    Really, it doesn't matter what you say, all the shrieking imbecile hears is "Who wants cake".

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    I cannot even converse with my stupid redneck relatives.

    Further proof that we and the rest of society shouldn't have to suffer for your daddy issues.

  • ||

    Jim is never Nigger Jim. He's occasionally referred to as the nigger, Jim, and twice in Tom Sawyer, Detective, as "our old nigger Jim" but never once is Nigger part of Jim's name. You fucking racist sack of shit.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    But Huck said "I don't take no stock in dead people".

    That tells us more about America than any Jim reference.

    Huck Finn worked on so many levels.

  • ||

    Fuck off, sockpuppet.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I'll crush you like a fucking roach in a battle of wit.

  • Derpetologist||

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    I am a master of The Young Forest Temple System of the Tiger Derp. Your Derp Fu is weak.

    Tell us again how the Clinton surpluses caused the debt to go up.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    "Clinton surpluses".

    The truth comes out to Derp Red.

  • Derpetologist||

    Palin's Buttplug|1.8.14 @ 10:44PM|#

    Sure the debt goes up.

    The Clinton surplus of 199-2000 increased the debt.

    http://reason.com/blog/2014/01.....nt_4232936

    Surplus increased the debt?

    HAHAHAHAHA!

  • ||

    Nigger Jim is too deferential to Huck.

    Yeah but Huck is deferential to everything including Jim.

    Most feckless directionless ineffectual character ever.

    Of course i am pretty sure Twain wrote the two characters that way for a reason.

    And no, it was not white supremacy reasons.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    To be fair, Sherman Alexie is one broken-ass human being. Unless you're using his novels as the window into a psychiatric head case, there's probably not much educational value to them.

  • RishJoMo||

    Come on dude lets just roll with it man.

    www.GotzAnon.tk

  • Sudden||

    I think anonbot is telling me to roll a joint.

    Turing Test Result: Passed.

  • Raven Nation||

  • ||

    Reasonoids, do not allow Shreeky to come over here and try to hide from his ultimate shame in the Ukraine thread, just before this one.

    Go there, to see Shreeky's ultimate freak out and shame.

    Shreeky is freaking out, man, he's freaking out.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    It does seem to be trying really hard this evening. It stinks of desperation.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Hyperion is a tool. i.e.-

    Ron/Rand Paul non-intervention = brilliant

    Obama non-intervention = weak and feckless

    He is a Team Red hack.

  • ||

    You just cannot learn when to STFU can you?

    Maybe humiliation is your thing?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Fuck you, you duplicitous warmonger.

  • ||

    Warmonger, LMAO! You just keep digging your hole a little deeper, don't you?

  • ||

    Ron/Rand Paul non-intervention = brilliant

    Obama non-intervention = weak and feckless

    Pretty sure the Hawks here criticize Ron/Rand Paul for not being hawkish enough.

    The non-interventionists here don't give much credit for Obama because of Iraq, Afganistan, a whole host of Arab spring bullshit he has pulled, drone bombs, Benghazi, the red line in Syria and the fact that Crimea is not so much Obama not wanting or trying to get all warmongery about it but that he sees it as annoyance.

    How long ago was his big speech on the subject? You know the one where he dismissed the whole subject and then scared everyone about nukes going off in New York as if to distract people from talking about it.

    I don't know about weak, but a dipshit whose foreign policy just seems to be random shit coming out of a disaster white house and feckless....that is more accurate to what you are seeing here.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    Alison Brie as "Tight Ship".

    Discuss.

  • seguin||

    Well, as 2000s seguin would say, "that ship is TIGHT, yo!"

  • seguin||

    Also, something involving a pun on the word "caulk".

  • Agile Cyborg||

    I do not.know.that. person.

  • kibby||

    Then you are missing out.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Somethings should DEF be missed.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

  • Sudden||

    DECLINE TO STATES DRINK!

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • DEG||

    Oh dear... I'm almost out of beer.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Shut.up

  • DEG||

    Nein

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Christ.ok

  • RannedPall||

    On my 5th already, and it ain't even 6pm yet!

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    I hope you're keeping a ledger to show your physician.

  • RannedPall||

    I leave no paper trail, only bitcoins.

  • RannedPall||

    I DONT HAVE CABLE, SO INSTEAD IM WATCHING THE EXTENDED CUT OF THE PATRIOT. ALSO, I DONT KNOW HOW TO TYPE IN BOLD FROM MY PHONE, SO CAPS LOCK WILL HAVE TO DO.

  • Irish||

    Guys, there's nothing to worry about.

    It turns out that poll claiming 65% of Brazilians think it's okay to rape a scantily clad woman was incorrect. Only 26% of Brazilians think it's okay to rape a scantily clad woman.

    Thank God. For a second there I thought Brazil might have a bit of a problem on their hands.

  • kibby||

    Guess I'll be crossing Brazil off my list of places to visit.

  • ||

    Your loss. Don't know where this poll came from, but I don't know any Brazilians who think like that, and I know many. And most Brazilians are scantily clad a lot, it's hot there most of the time.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Does the NSA snorkel pork?

  • DEG||

    Kennedy is wearing too much.

  • Irish||

    I didn't know you were Brazilian.

  • DEG||

    American of English, Irish, German, and "other" descent. No Brazilian as far as I know.

  • DEG||

    And mostly German descent I should add.

  • ||

    We wear stuff, in Brazil, mister!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Prediction: Hoops or hoop-like objects.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    The other white meat.

  • DEG||

    "Logic is a tricky beast that requires too much thinking"

    Hmm... is Pat Robertson really a Progressive?

  • Bam!||

    Elongated hoops. Teardrop-ish.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Let's see if Welch is afraid of pigs as much as frogs.

  • Byte Me||

    Looks chilly in that studio.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    A tit nipley?

  • Bam!||

    Kennedy is wearing an over-sized American Girls dress.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The narrow ties make Foster's noggin look HUGE.

  • GILMORE||

    Nipples?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    "Let's see if we can get that up to $60,000 per person."

  • kmc212||

    You can see Kennedy's pokies tonight!

  • ||

    What are pokies? Whatever they are, they must not be very big.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Hyperion Nipples for sale on the 3D model sits... Make commercials with this creatures vast nipples...

  • BigT||

    If only I had more than 50-inches

  • Byte Me||

    Kennedy's Pelosi impression sounded like the Jewish kid from Family Guy.

  • Bam!||

    That pig isn't going to be hurt during the episode, correct? But you are going to slaughter and eat it after, right?

  • Sevo||

    OK, so I looked.
    Hasn't anyone proposed assembling the local porcine population to protest being associated with that miserable hag?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    La chaketa.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Are there more than one jacket? Like the General Lee, are there many jackets? Like the "hero jacket" and also a bunch of stunt jackets?

  • SweatingGin||

    Nope. Might be more than one Gillespie. Stunt Gillespie, close-up Gillespie, but only one jacket.

  • Marshall Gill||

    For a short time I did a stint as "hand Gillespie". True story.

  • SweatingGin||

    ^^ dirtiest thing in this thread

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    STOP TALKING ABOUT THE THING WE'RE STARTING TO TALK ABOUT.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Hear hear. SS = fucking the young in the ass

  • kibby||

    Yeah, thanks for the the reminder.

  • DEG||

    I loved reading the last SS statement I received. There was a Q&A bit on it.

    "Q: Will Social Security pay out full benefits when I retired?"

    "A: Yes."

    And then the next three paragraphs directly contradicted the unqualified "Yes".

  • SweatingGin||

    Now that you mention it occurs to me that I haven't gotten one of those in a while.

    They seem to send them rather intermittently.

  • DEG||

    I don't remember getting one last year. The one I'm thinking of I received two years ago.

  • SweatingGin||

    I'm thinking it's been like 5 years for me.

    (and yes, I've been working the whole time. And paying taxes. With my own social security number.)

  • General Butt Naked||

    And paying taxes. With my own social security number.

    There's your first mistake.

  • Raven Nation||

    I'm pretty sure they moved to on-line access/delivery a few years back. I have this vague recollection of receiving some kind of advice about that.

    I don't really see the need to check.

  • BigT||

    War on the Young!! Yea!!!

    Oh, wait my kids are young...

    Not to mention the grand kids...

  • DEG||

    There goes the live stream for me.

  • BigT||

    Jacket, in 1980 the border didn't include the internet.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Pelosi should be paying more attention to this than it is.

  • ||

    You have to throw some of that slop into my cage, so I can find out what's in it.

    /Pelosi

  • DEG||

    Technical difficulties with the live stream? This is 2014. It's not 2004; there shouldn't be any problems with a live stream in this day and age. They're back at the beginning of the show.

  • ||

    Hi, Pelosi!

    LOL, that almost made beer come out my nose. Shut up, Kennedy.

  • Derpetologist||

    Tales from the Derp

    I once tried to get a summer job as a temporary mail carrier. The application was longer than the one I had to fill out for college. I had my interview and sent off my application to the central office. 2 weeks later, no response. I later learned that the central office thought I had applied in Charleston WV instead of Charles Town WV and that's why I never got an offer. The local post office promised to straighten things out. This was my clue to go to Aerotek for a temp job, which I had 20 minutes after walking in. I spent the rest of summer stacking hardware store merch on pallets and playing Railroad Tycoon. Good times.

  • Byte Me||

    Searching for waste in the US capitol? You could close your eyes, spin ten times, do three back flips, base jump from the Washington Monument, and then randomly throw a rock in any direction and hit government waste.

  • Derpetologist||

    I have a dream of riding through DC in a horse-drawn wagon. I would have a megaphone and shout "garbage for sale! garbage for sale!" If someone asked me why I was selling garbage, I would say that it stimulates the economy, especially mine.

  • ||

    Sounds like a Stossel segment.

  • ||

    needs a giant novelty shovel.

  • Raven Nation||

    The bigger tragedy is that Pelosi probably truly believes there is no waste in government.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    We cut back on defense spending we're not going to come bail you out of WWII, Part 2, you Limeys.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Hey, they got Sam the Eagle as a guest.

  • Alton Knutson||

    Nice

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    How does a Lt Col get to be a military analyst?

  • ||

    This guy is/was a Tom Clancy wannabe.

    MI type of guy that isn't really all that respected in the military. He is right about the acquisition process being broke. However, cutting people is the easiest and most adjustable way for the Army (not so much the other services) to adjust to budget shortfalls.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Agreed.

  • Swiss Servator, Frühling!!!||

    I dunno, but if you find out - let me know! I could always use a side job.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    And apparently, you can be completely full of shit.

    Hell, I can do that.

  • Derpetologist||

    Someone has lit the FdA signal.

  • Bam!||

    So he's saying that pigs fly.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    This guy is a fucking idiot. Has NO FUCKING idea what he's talking about.

  • Derpetologist||

    Are the F-22 and F-35 more expensive to maintain?

    Do they have shorter range than the older planes?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Yes.

    But the tradeoff in capability is astounding.

  • Derpetologist||

    What makes them so much better? Stealth? Maneuverability?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    For the F-22, maneuverability, speed, stealth, radars, data links, weapon support, survivability. When I left my staff job at Wright-Patt, the F-15 had not won a single engagement with an F-22 out of thousands.

    I don't know that much about the F-35. It was after my time. But I did get to mess around in the unclassified sim. It's primary improvements were in the avionics, allowing it to employ weapons more quickly and accurately. It is also more survivable, although not as much so as the F-22.

  • Derpetologist||

    How many of these engagements were in simulators?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    None.

  • Derpetologist||

    I guess the stealthy part prevents the other guy from getting a lock. You can't shoot something you can't see.

  • Raven Nation||

    Wright-Patt?

    *narrows eyes*

    Where's the UFO and the bodies?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Funny you ask. I was getting a tour of one of the hangers...had JFK's Presidential aircraft...

    So I says, "Where are teh aliens?"

    The guy goes, "Come over here."

    Opens a padlocked closet door, and sitting in a chair in the corner was a full sized rubber dummy alien. Laughed my ass off. I guess they get get that question a lot.

  • Raven Nation||

    That's great!

  • NotAnotherSkippy||

    Yes, as well as supercruise, sensors, and avionics. The latter two could maybe be shoehorned into an upgraded F-15. That's just speculation on my part, though. I don't have any details on the radar and avionics, e.g. power and cooling requirements.

    On the other hand the F-22 occasionally tries to suffocate its pilots.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    On the other hand the F-22 occasionally tries to suffocate its pilots.

    That's fixed and it wasn't the jet, it was the Combat Edge G-suit.

  • NotAnotherSkippy||

    And a filter on the OBOGS line. Regardless, the suit is part of the package even if it's not part of the airframe, and I find it a bit disturbing with all the complexity of the plane that the emergency O2 system didn't kick in...

  • kibby||

    Should we petition to have you on?

  • SweatingGin||

    "Thanks for having me on Kennedy. Shout outs to the H&R folks, and this had been worse than watching old people fuck."

  • kibby||

    Which is exactly why this should happen.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    "Coming up, Francisco d'Anconia himself joins us via satellite feed from an undisclosed location in Montana..."

  • kibby||

    If they ever have you on, it'll be live from a giant traffic jam.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    I'm pretty much resigned to having an hour commute home no matter when I leave campus or what route I take.

    Maybe next time I'll just drive up Pacific Coast Highway for the scenery.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    That was the F-14 Tomcat, Kennedy.

  • DEG||

    I can actually stick around to watch the show, and this is what I get for a live stream?

  • ||

    Why are libertarians the only adults in the room?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Fascinating, and all incorrect.

  • BigT||

    How about having 90% of our overseas troops come and stay in the good ol USA. Then we could afford some F-U-37's

  • ||

    Why do you want the terrorists to win?

  • BigT||

    Cool headgear.

  • Byte Me||

    FdA may disagree with me, but I think we could model a new air superiority aircraft off of our previous dominant airframe of the F-15. You'd be building a new plane "from the ground up", but it would be largely similar to something we already have, with the introduction of new technology, and without bloated and unnecessary spending on it.

    And this is for Kennedy: The "Russian Mig-28" in Top Gun is actually an American F-5 made by Northrup, and they flew against F-14's. Get with the program. That is all.

  • NotAnotherSkippy||

    I'd rather restart the F-22 line and replace the F-35 with a combination of super super hornets and either F-15E's or SE's, all of which are cheaper than the 35. No matter what happens the F-35B should be killed. Guadalcanal was 70 years ago. Get over it.

  • GILMORE||

    The Independents Attire Review, 4 April 2014

    Are You Lonesome Tonight?-Edition

    - Kennedy: The 1950s School-Marm direction certainly has potential; Kennedy has the classic profile and the coiffure to pull it off swimmingly. However, I'm so distracted by her perky nips poking through layers of rayon that I have to move on... ('self licking ice-cream cones? Was someone reading my mind??')

    - Matt: That's a casual shirt Matt. Not only does it look like shit when you wear it with a suit-jacket and tie, but you upped the crap-factor by going with a red spotted-tie which specifically goes out of its way to clash like a drunken junior high-school brass-band. We admit to a certain degree of relief here: Matt's recent occasional ventures into 'acceptable' were draining us of suitable material for criticism; this provides a whole new dimension of 'incompetence' for us to appreciate.

    - Kmele: Formula time = beige sportcoat's typical best match? Maroon or Navy tie on a white Oxford. Kmele here follows plan with the latter and a short button-collar. This is one of GILMORE's favorites for himself; but must warn Kmele on the occasional jacket/collar mismatches we've seen in the recent past. Wide lapels work better with broad/deep collars; this one has a 'neck squeezing' effect that makes him look too wide with a tiny head.*

    (*we confess: this is based on a split-second glance; not enough Kmele time on camera)

    Thank You

  • Bam!||

    No review of Pelosi?

  • ||

    Pelosi is sporting a might smart pink collar there.

  • kibby||

    Thanks for making me choke on my drink at Matt's.

  • GILMORE||

    BOOM!

    I finally get my clean look at Kmele, and I was indeed completely wrong = the lapels are actually narrow and a perfect match with the collar. Why did I doubt you Kmele? There was only one set of footprints??? In the future I will not rush to criticism out of desperate need to *say something*, but rather wait until at least halfway through the show before mercilessly throwing you under the bus. Forgive me.

  • BigT||

    Get a room

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Top. Men.

  • GILMORE||

    Soul-Finger, Bar Kays

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Whoa, and they even found Matt's better-looking twin brother.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    separated at birth

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Ha. I know people who work for Iron Mountain.

  • Mellow Kitty||

    I've never actually watched an episode of The Independents -- from the threads here, I've gathered that it kinda sucks. Y/N?

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    What does someone watching The Independents say when (s)he runs out of alcohol?

    "This show sucks!"

  • DEG||

    I ran out of alcohol... well... in this bottle of beer. The only thing I've said sucks so far is Fox Business's live streaming.

  • Mellow Kitty||

    Yeah, that's the impression I got from H+R. Since I don't drink, I never bothered turning the show on.

  • ||

    What does someone watching The Independents say when (s)he runs out of alcohol?

    "Is Kennedy on Meth?"

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    I probably wouldn't watch it without the live-commenting here. Although the live shows are (generally) better.

  • Bam!||

    Hasn't been the same since they started doping Kennedy with Ritalin.

  • kibby||

    If you enjoy cringing at trainwrecks, maybe.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    I doubt we'll get to see a Kennedy or Kmele wardrobe malfunction on a taped show.

  • kibby||

    I defer to your point.

  • ||

    Wow, this thing about paperwork and the government being stuck in the stone age, is just fucking shocking for anyone who has dealt with the immigration processes. SHOCKING I tell you!

  • ||

    All the important computer processing power is being used by the NSA for other efficient, and completely legal, purposes.

  • GILMORE||

    The solution is obvious =

    BLOW UP THE MOUNTAIN.

  • DEG||

    Ahhh... there we go. Google search to the rescue. Fox Business, your live streaming sucks.

  • BigT||

    Ghosts. Or surreptitious snooping. Ie NSA old-school.

  • ||

    Jeepers! Ghost bureaucrats!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Which agency spent thousands of dollars on pole dancing? Why, the Bureau of Daddy Issues, of course.

  • Derpetologist||

    So the government has mole people. Is there an earthquake machine down there?

  • ||

    I wonder if any of my relatives in Butler County work in that paperwork mine. Wait, no, what am I saying. They're all on welfare.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    In Butler County, it's either one or the other.

  • ||

    Ey! Les gew dahn ta Slippy Rawk an pick awp sem cawedge gurls n'at!

  • ||

    Where is Butler county?

  • General Butt Naked||

    Far enough from Fayette County that it can't be that bad.

  • ||

    Where is Fayette County?

  • DEG||

    SW Pennsylvania, on the West Virginia line.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Every state has a Butler County.

  • Wasteland Wanderer||

    Not any of the ones I've ever lived in...

    OTOH, it does seem like every state has a Lincoln county. Or at least the ones that didn't fly the stars and bars, anyway.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Wait, who are these two new people? Where did they come from?

  • GILMORE||

    Keeping with tonight's "Pig" Theme?

    Lawmaker who lost all his money trading options now insists Congresspeople are Underpaid
    http://www.reuters.com/article.....W420140404

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Moran keeps living up to his homonym of a name. That guy is and always will be a douchebag.

  • ||

    I support the SS spending tax dollars on hookers and booze!

  • kibby||

    Congress doesn't work. That didn't even cost anything.

  • Byte Me||

    They could've tied up a real squirrel and found that answer for MUCH cheaper.

  • Bam!||

    I saw that documentary. It was on PBS. Was pretty good.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Endowment for the Superhumanities.

  • ||

    NASA is trying to find a purpose for NASA.

  • DEG||

    The government spending money on pole dancers. That's better than some things it could spend money on.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The more Facebook likes, the fewer embassy "protests".

  • ||

    Wow, no one knows which totally unnecessary bureaucracy of our federal government wastes money on which stupid shit? SHOCKED!

  • BigT||

    Many people would be, should be shocked.

  • ||

    Does the State Department get any likes?

  • Derpetologist||

    I think Kennedy has been a DJ so long that she can no longer speak normally.

  • ||

    You assume she could ever speak normally.

  • ||

    She never stops speaking, but as I have said before, I'm not sure what percentage of the time that she comprehends her own words.

  • ||

    Kennedy's vocalizations can indicate a relatively wide range of desires - hunger, fear, distress, sexual excitement, a request to be let outside, etc. - but I think it's a little too anthropomorphic to call them "speech".

  • Swiss Servator, Frühling!!!||

    That was so cutting a remark, I think my eyes are bleeding just reading it!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Seriously, were those two there before this segment? Did I doze the eff off at some point?

  • Bam!||

    They appeared out of nowhere.

  • ||

    Same here. I was drinking a beer, and POOF, there they were!

  • ||

    Kennedy's non-stop ramblings made them fold time through a worm hole.

  • ||

    I won playing at home and you can totally take my word for that. I want an hour with Pelosi!

    *eyes cleanly split cord of oak and a gallon bottle of Jack Miller's bbq sauce*

  • ||

    Well, you totally can't eat her before you molest her .... I mean, after you eat her ... I mean ... She's a PIG! You sick fuck!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Taxpayers are unionized?

  • Byte Me||

    Anyone else see that bacon sitting behind Kennedy?

  • ||

    It's Pelosi, that's supposed to suppress your appetite.

  • Marshall Gill||

    Actually, the retching left me kinda hungry.

  • DEG||

    Custom made furniture? Fuck.

  • Bam!||

    IKEA, you fucks.

  • kibby||

    I love how empty that train is.

  • GILMORE||

    Yeah, this guy strangled a prostitute once.

  • Bam!||

    His voice has bit of a Mr. Rogers quality to it.

  • ||

    What he did to the other prostitutes was a lot worse.

  • kibby||

    The fact that you can pinpoint this fact so quickly is somewhat worrying, man.

  • GILMORE||

    I'm from NYC baby. I have highly sensitive 'creep-radar'.

  • ||

    'Franking' is a euphemism for what the government does to the taxpayer.

  • kibby||

    Okay, which person here is going to become a Congress critter so the rest of us can take full advantage?

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    All the commenters can be on my staff. Just work out amongst yourselves who among you gets to be my manicurist, who will be my speechwriter, who is my food-taster, and who gets to be my factotum. Since I don't really know what a factotum is, the duties of that position will probably be fairly light.

  • GILMORE||

    "'All the commenters can be on my staff.""

    LAWSUIT FOR SEXUAL HARRASSMENT IN PROGRESS

  • kibby||

    I accept, so long as my job description entails something more than serving everyone drinks in an obscenely short dress.

  • SweatingGin||

    For the record, the dress was your idea.

  • kibby||

    I figured I would be ahead of the game on that one.

  • SweatingGin||

    You've got ambition and sense, that's why you're so important to the team.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Of course it will be more than serving drinks in a short dress. You also hand out hors d'oeuvres.

  • Raven Nation||

    Could be contradictory. Apparently a factotum is:

    a person having many diverse activities or responsibilities

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "Bob, go and do some diverse things. Send the bill to Uncle Sam. I'm off to the Congressional hairdresser to get myself a mullet."

  • SweatingGin||

    All commenters are disqualified as soon as someone releases handle/ip/real name mappings.

  • BigT||

    I promise I will use all mypower to reduce the power of the govt

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    I think the basic republican idea is that you shouldn't have to be rich to be a member of Congress.

    So they provided for things like travel expenses and such. And obviously we've gone from that to it be a bit of cruel irony.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Yeah, make congress pay for their own bullshit (and hike congressional salaries to compensate).

  • ||

    Kennedy's nipples are showing. Did someone say that before?

    My wife just hit me, ouch! Spousal abuse!

  • Bam!||

    Make it foreplay and hit her back.

  • DEG||

    Make sure you have a safe word set up first.

  • Derpetologist||

    You see, we can't cut small stuff because it isn't enough to help..
    And we can't cut big stuff because look at all the small stuff we allow.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I don't want to wait for the commercial tell me now!

  • GILMORE||

    Pete was like, "yeah, I'd investigate you... tied in my dungeon..."

  • SlV||

    Both Ira Stoll and Tim Cavanaugh defended the NEH budget as less than a " rounding error" on these very pages.

  • Bam!||

    Acne commercials now? How young is The Independents demo? Better than those old people commercials, though.

  • DEG||

    This guest's smile, it reminds me of crazy eyes.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    He said all of their names! He's politicking.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    CUT something, you statist bastards! Bush wouldn't cut a fucking thing - and Obama has cut defense and Medicare subsidies.

    Not enough!

  • BigT||

    BOOIOOSH!!! He's not as bad as your guy.

    Are you being ironic? Unwittingly?

  • NotAnotherSkippy||

    Obama's defense "cuts" were already programmed with the Iraqi SOFA that he opposed. And the Medicare cuts were just re-spent on BarryCare, so, um, no.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    That's quite of a mouthful of a name he has.

  • GILMORE||

    Jesus Christ, who's the dwarf providing the voice for this human-sized puppet??

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Tom DeLay?

  • GILMORE||

    because anyone criticizing government spending is a Religious Right Conservative.

    That's been your schtick for the last month. I think we got it. It was a REAL winner, which is obviously why people are so overwhelmingly excited by it. Your insights, deep.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    The fucking fundies fuck everything up.

    If we could ditch the sorry shithole of America (Christian Fundies) then we would all enjoy a capitalist-Marxist showdown!

    (where capitalists win)

  • GILMORE||

    Why don't you move out of Georgia you stupid fuck? Your hyperventilation about redneck fundy socons is boring everyone to death.

  • Wasteland Wanderer||

    His mother won't lend him any more money after he lost her savings on penny stocks.

  • Swiss Servator, Frühling!!!||

    And shorting gold.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    That whole bank is autistic now.

  • BigT||

    I wanna get on Kmele's iPad. Hmmmmm....

  • DEG||

    That was too easy of a target.

  • ||

    Well, the CA Comptroller doesn't have any idea how much money CA has.

  • GILMORE||

    BTW, if people don't own a cotton-twill khaki blazer like Kmele's? I highly recommend grabbing one off Ebay for like $100 or less; you can get new, offloaded ones from Ralph Lauren or Brooks Brothers; they're super cheap, and I don't know why everyone doesnt' own like 2 or 3. I may have mentioned it before - its what I consider the #1 "first" jacket to own; works as casual or passable with a tie. great with jeans. I say 'ebay' because they try and sell these things for like $2-300 bucks at retail which is bullshit for a cotton item. Anyhoo. Get that shit.

  • Derpetologist||

    I prefer secondhand Navy pea coats with missing buttons.

  • GILMORE||

    The "homeless alcoholic" look is so 1995

    On the army-surplus side, there are gems, however. Like a full length olive drab wool thing?

    http://www.armysurpluswarehous.....e-33l.html

  • GILMORE||

    Of course, you'd need to find it in something other than anorexic girls' size.

    That was always the bitch about really good army surplus stuff = it was always too big or small.

  • Derpetologist||

    Military clothing only comes in 2 sizes.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Hmmm, Nice. You no doubt have honed your shilling skills over the past 15 years or so.

  • Derpetologist||

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    I've sneezed out more brain cells than you've used in your entire life.

  • GILMORE||

    'Shilling'?

    For who? I work for ebay, or "big Khaki"?

  • BigT||

    I had a leather jacket before the jacket

  • GILMORE||

    When I was in high school I got the coolest hand-me-down leather shirt-jacket = a guy had a deer he'd shot made into a deerskin shirt, and it shrunk and browned as it aged, he gave it to me and I rocked it all through HS. Unfortunately it got destroyed at My First Mardi Gras (1993), which is sort of what's supposed to happed = you have to lose something you love in an orgy of self-abuse and barely survive. It was worth it. but I've never seen anything as cool as that deerskin jacket since then.

  • DEG||

    Mmm... bacon

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Some animals are more cured than others.

  • Bam!||

    Nothing is awful about bacon, Kennedy.

  • DEG||

    Seventh Day Adventists? Ugh. Get away from them Kmele and eat that bacon!

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Why do Canadians call their ham 'bacon'?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Cuz they're wrong.

  • SweatingGin||

    How about an episode of just Kennedy eating bacon. Who would watch it?

  • ||

    It depends on whether she can wear a thinner blouse and if they can turn the AC up a notch or two.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    There's a little bit of Pelosi in all of us...

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Ah, not Lou Dobbs.

  • Big Chief||

    The Independents to Dobbs segway must be the most jarring transition in TV.

  • ||

    Pelosi, the other white meat?

  • SlV||

    The correct statement should be "I really wish Pelosi the pig was here because she'd really enjoy these bones"

  • Byte Me||

    When life gives you bacon, find someone who's life has given them biscuits, egg and cheese, and have a party.

  • SweatingGin||

    a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit sounds so awesome right now.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Lou got a facelift.

  • SweatingGin||

    AHH! BLONDE NOT LOU DOBBS!

  • GILMORE||

    GAAAA!A!!!!DDOOOOOOOO- what? Who's this cooze?

  • GILMORE||

    She's alright actually. My kinda rough-voiced blonde. Irish girl from jersey or the island I'm guessing.

  • Bam!||

    Should've turned slaughtering Pelosi into a segment like the guac off.

  • kibby||

    & now begins my hour of Hannibal media blackout. I demand entertainment.

  • DEG||

    Someone is setting off fireworks in my neighborhood.

  • SweatingGin||

    sorry about that. almost a nice day an all.

  • DEG||

    I'm not complaining. Maybe when it's bed time I'll complain. But not yet.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Really? I can see setting off fireworks on an important anniversary, like July 4 or May 5.

    Let's see, what event happened on April 4 that this person in your neighborhood might be celebrating?

    Yaaaaah!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A....._King,_Jr.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    ("Yaaaaah" as in "arrgh! I'm shocked!" not as in "yeah!")

  • DEG||

    I live in New Hampshire. They're legal. Almost all that white shit has melted. Why not celebrate?

  • DEG||

    Oh, and when I moved here to NH, NH didn't have Martin Luther King Day. It was Civil Rights Day. Eventually the legislature caved and changed it to Martin Luther King Day.

  • DEG||

    But I doubt that's why they're setting off fireworks. Probably that almost all the white shit has melted.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "white," you say?

  • DEG||

    White. Yes. Snow is white. And it's melting. I hate snow. So, I call snow "white shit".

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Just messing with you.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Sound like a cause for celebration!

  • DEG||

    I did step in it.

  • Byte Me||

    Who's this hot chick subbing for Dobbs? I may leave it on, but on mute.

  • GILMORE||

    No aftershow?

  • Big Chief||

    Is there ever on a Friday?

  • GILMORE||

    Ah.

    I see.

  • ||

    Not live on Fridays...

  • kibby||

    Pretaped.

  • SweatingGin||

    On a friday? Not a chance.

    Oh, Welch put this gem on his twitter late last night.

    Gavin's brother who looks a little like Welch goes skinny sipping in a creak in winter. As safe for work as bare white asses are.

    It needed to be shared, but the threads last night were serious.

  • GILMORE||

    That was just dumb.

    Doing it in the *ocean* in winter is cool.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "As safe for work as bare white asses are."

    How safe is that, exactly? I suppose it depends on the job.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "Networks Snub Obama On Primetime Health Care Address

    "The White House sought primetime air the day Obamacare hit 7 million signups.

    "...network officials refused to make the kind of accommodation they did previously for the announcement that Osama Bin Laden had been killed, for instance, and Obama was left instead cutting into the much smaller audiences of Ellen and other daytime shows."

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/evanmc.....imetime-on

  • Big Chief||

    I'm not surprised Obama asked, I'm just surprised the networks didn't fall over themselves to comply. I suspect punishment for insubordination will be forthcoming...

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Ghouls just wanna have taxes!

    "A coalition of labor union and community activists are marking the day that the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated 46 years ago with rallies in the Bay Area and nationwide calling for a tax on some Wall Street transactions.

    Activist say the link between King and this proposal, which is legislatively embodied in HR 1579 , is when the civil rights leader said: “This is America’s opportunity to help bridge the gulf between the haves and the have nots. The question is whether America will do it.”

    "It’s an uphill road for the measure, which progressive groups have pushed for a couple of years — it only has 24 co-sponsors. It would place a fee of 50 cents on every $100 of stock trades and smaller transations of bonds and derivatives and re-direct that revenue towards funding for jobs, health care, education, the fight against HIV/AIDS and climate change, according to the activists."

    http://blog.sfgate.com/techchr.....eet-video/

  • Big Chief||

    And I bet every one of those 24 co-sponsors would vote against it if they thought it had a chance of winning. There's not a congressman who would support this because every pension and fund would be severely hurt by this plan.

    This may be the most doomed bill ever written.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I am sick of Christ-Fag Fundamentalist Theocratic Assholes!

    WHO IS WITH ME?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Who's with you to do what?

  • GILMORE||

    Slow night, huh?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    You're a lamb. I had forgotten that.

  • GILMORE||

    Sorry bud, I'm a drunken atheist like everyone else here. Lambs are for eating.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    The GOP is filled with redneck theocrats. There are like 40 million of these vermin who vote now.

    FREEDOM means telling these anti-freedom GOP grease-maggots to fuck themselves!

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Nothing like a little dehumanizing rhetoric to let off some steam.

  • Derpetologist||

    HAHAHA!

    St. Gore flunked out of divinity school- not that it put much of hitch in his prophet career.

    The Obamessiah was a faithful churchgoer for 20 years and claims a personal relationship with Christ.

    Yep, that Team Blue is just chock full of secular folks.

    HAHAHAHA!

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Can you believe all those people hunched over their computers on a Friday night?

    Wait...

  • kibby||

    I know, right? It's like GET A LIFE, FOLKS.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Yeah.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    uh, yeah?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

  • NotAnotherSkippy||

    No need to lash out from your unrealized fantasies.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    It's on my wishlist.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    The most Canadian police chase ever: Alberta Mounties bum ride on snowmobile to chase stolen John Deere tractor

  • Swiss Servator, Frühling!!!||

    Even the National Post was making fun of the Candianity of that...nice.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • mr simple||

    She called the cops? What a cunt.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    Look out, ladies - vain young monocle-wearing urban men are reshaping the landscape for luxury goods

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Lest we grow too cynical: Couple seriously maimed in Boston bombings get married one year later

    Nearly one year after they were seriously injured in the Boston Marathon attack, Rebekah Gregory and Pete DiMartino wed on Friday on a 19th-century estate in North Carolina, cheered on by dozens of wellwishers and following many tough months of recovery.

    The bride slowly walked down the aisle using a special crutch for her left leg, which may soon be amputated due to the severity of her wounds. She was guided by her father, Tim, and son Noah, 6, down a bed of pink- and yellow-hued rose petals to her awaiting groom (who wore a black suit and sneakers).

    Sniffles were heard throughout the short ceremony, though the crowd laughed when the officiant asked Rebekah if she would take DiMartino as her husband: "Absolutely!" she replied.

    The couple was at Boston’s iconic road race, waiting to see DiMartino’s mother cross the finish line, when two bombs blasted through the crowd on April 15. Though they’d only known each other about a year, the attack made them realize how short life can be, Rebekah says, and DiMartino, 29, proposed in October.

    “We really appreciate each other so much more. I’ve fallen deeper in love with Pete every single day,” Rebekah (now Mrs. DiMartino), 26, recently told NBC News.

    Take that, terrorists!

  • Tman||

    Islamic terrorism, bringing people together since 9/11!

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Tman, you're a redneck.

    Why should I have to bow to Christian Dogma?

  • Tman||

    Your ignorance is only exceeded by your false assumptions.

    I was born and raised blocks from Harvard University.

    You know nothing about me.

  • Warrren||

    Hazzard University?

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • kibby||

    D'awwwww....

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I live in Georgia. Why would I respect any vote from some Fundie-Christian anti-freedom asshole?


    WHY?

  • Derpetologist||

    What part of Team Blue's pro-freedom platform do you like the best?

    Higher taxes?
    More gun laws?
    More business regulation?
    Less school choice?

    HAHAHAHA!

  • Sevo||

    Palin's Buttplug|4.4.14 @ 11:06PM|#
    "I live in Georgia."

    And Georgia wishes you'd move 500 miles east without a lifejacket.
    Please get some horrible disease and die a slow painful death.

  • ||

    Why don't you just move and decompress Shrike.

    I like making fun of the south as much as anyone...but i think you actually hate it.

    Can't be healthy to live there raging all the time.

  • kibby||

    Guys: STOP RESPONDING TO IT. It's furiously masturbating & chomping bits of its tongue off every time you do. This is a fight you will not win.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Fundie Asshole Christ-Fag speaks!

    WE MUST TEACH BIBLICAL LITERALISM! WE MUST TEACH CREATION BULLSHIT!

    Fuck you, you Christian Tyrant!

    AND FUCK YOU TO HELL JACKASS!

  • Swiss Servator, Frühling!!!||

    I am sort of sensing it is frustrated and has a possible anger issue or two...

    Maybe it will go shoot up a church or something and we'll be able to confirm the ID.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Woman in bikini tasered for charity

    One woman came up with a novel way to raise money for a charity by charging a group of men $100 each to watch her get tasered wearing a bikini.

    The bizarre video, which has nearly 250,000 hits, was posted today on YouTube under the title 'Girl in Bikini Takes Taser Like a Champ.'
    The about section of the video reads, 'Raising money for charity all the horn dogs within 20 ft each watch her get tasered for charity.'

    The 38-second video starts with the bikini-clad woman standing between two men. Both men don ID cards, and one of them is wearing a shirt that has some sort of badge, similar to one law enforcement would wear.
    A group of men is standing in the background, most of whom have their mobile phones or cameras out read to capture the event.
    The two men then grab the woman's arms and another man behind them who is not seen prepares to taser her.
    A few seconds later, the woman is tasered in her rear end, and she screams and slumps to the ground, which is padded.

    Take that, terrorists!

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • kibby||

    I...uhhhhh. This is just weird.

  • SweatingGin||

    not actually reading the article... it seems like sloths would be kick-ass pets. Maybe with some acreage.

  • GILMORE||

    I want one.

  • Derpetologist||

    Sloths are great until you have to take it for a walk.

    Takes FOR-EVER!

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • Tman||

    The question surfaces.

    How do you cook goat-sheep properly?

  • ||

    Look up a recipe for birria.

  • Tman||

    Mmmm....and I bet goat-sheep chops would go well with that. Nice, thanks.

  • SweatingGin||

    you're going to get reason sued (and named in lawsuit) with all that goat/sheep talk.

  • Warrren||

    Mutton wrong wit it!

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Aww, goatley.

  • kibby||

    I ALREADY SAID THAT.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I am so fucking sick of you GODDAMN "Christian" libertarian assholes!

    Let me tell you fucking idiots something - you fucking shitholes don't know a thing about "liberty".

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    tell me, who hurt you?

  • Derpetologist||

    Now, that's just bad. You've got no attitude, you're barely outrageous, and I don't know what you're in, but it's not my face. Next!

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    I'm surprised the guys can stay awake long enough to take the picture.

  • Tman||

    I always love sex articles that start off with "We've become......"

    Sure you have sweetie. It's ok.

  • lap83||

    Is it still a betrayal of intimacy if you're both narcissists who only hooked up so you could instagram it afterwards? Asking for a friend

  • kibby||

    I vote no.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    **raises eyebrow**

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    how you doin?

  • kibby||

    Uh, to be clear...I am not the sort of person who hooks up with people just to instagram it afterwards. I'm just saying that if both parties are cool with it, why not?

  • mr simple||

    It's #aftersex and she's still wearing her bra? Someone's not doing it right.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • GILMORE||

    That's a great album cover.

  • Tman||

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • lap83||

    That's just what the Gaia rapers want you to think.

  • Tman||

    "Eat wild salmon to save the ocean?"

    Ok.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • Tman||

    Man, I knew this scouser a few years ago, dude was like a genetic freak.

  • GILMORE||

    I once had a drinking contest in north London where we had to compete over how many accent variations we could do of our native country.

    I got through maybe 4 NY area things, and 3-4 southern things, and boston, and Minnesota...

    then I got my ass kicked by a guy who did basically this exact speech. His name was John Angel, the fucker.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    In protest of high taxes in France, Serge Gainsbourg burned money on television in the 80s.

  • Warrren||

    I know this thread is likly dead but this needs posting anyway.

    Proggies complaining about guns and Bitcoins in the same story. People may buy guns with this crazy, wierd money-thing!

    Waaaaa!

  • Warrren||

    *likely, *weird

  • ||

    Hahaha. They seem so concerned. Even though you could buy guns illegally with cash since forever.

  • Irish||

    Illegal gun sales were incredibly rare before Bitcoin.

    That's why there are no illegal firearms on the streets of Chicago, for example.

  • ||

    At least every single one of the comments there is trashing the article. Maybe the only people that read thinkprogress are hate-reading it?

  • Irish||

    No. It's just that some arguments are so fucking stupid that even people on your side make fun of you.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    Experts fear full-scale eruption after Ecuador’s ‘throat of fire’ volcano belched column of ash and smoke

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    New puppy pics. One week.

  • ||

    That's real cute. When can you take it home?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    At 7-8 weeks, give or take. They say 49 days is optimum. Late may.

  • Irish||

    How did I miss this article?

    Communism saved the American worker
    Communism may never have worked here. But capitalism isn’t working as well without a rival economic system

    What?

    Communism was, however, fantastic for the American worker. It’s no coincidence that the golden age of American equality, that period from the 1940s to the 1970s when the gap between CEOs and employees hit its all-time low, was almost exactly coterminous with the Cold War. As any capitalist will tell you, competition is good for the marketplace. It forces businesses to create better products and more efficient services for consumers. The same is true for capitalism itself: as a means of raising the living standards of an entire society, it never functioned better than when it was forced to compete with a rival economic system.

    Well, there's nothing I can add to this pile of ludicrous horseshit.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    I know what the words mean, but this makes no sense.

  • Tman||

    Was that in English?

  • Irish||

    Salon: The only website so stupid they make creationists look bright.

    Creationists endure rough few weeks: Why the flat-earth crowd is in trouble

    Um...Creationists don't believe the Earth is flat. There are literally hundreds of things Creationists say that you could mock, but Salon ended up just making one up.

  • Warrren||

    I believe the earth is flatbread.

  • GILMORE||

    I prefer the term WasaTerra.

  • mr simple||

    Watching replay: that pig looks like it has given up.

  • ||

  • Irish||

    Student at Dartmouth found not guilty of rape, which prompts a feminist to say the following:

    "Why could we not expel a student based on an allegation?" Childress asked at the panel. "It seems to me that we value fair and equitable processes more than we value the safety of our students. And higher education is not a right. Safety is a right. Higher education is a privilege."


    Yeah, why shouldn't we be allowed to punish people even after they're found innocent? That's how free societies are supposed to run their justice systems, right?

  • Warrren||

    Whoa, an SJW saying higher ed is not a right?

  • ||

    an SJW saying higher ed is not a right(if you're a man).

    They left the last half out.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    They are truly vile. It's not about justice for them, it's about power.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    Goodbye, polar vortex. Hello, pollen vortex! In many parts of the world, the allergy season starts earlier and lasts longer each year, potentially due to

    climate change

    .

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Are we sharing crazy left-wing stuff? Try this:

    ilyas252 • 2 hours ago
    'collectivist' is bad as opposed to the sociopath individual, how do people fall for this shit?

    Ghost_of_Bastiat ilyas252 • an hour ago
    Your misanthropy is noted.

    ilyas252 • an hour ago
    you laud the 'individual' over the community and i'm the misanthrope? you get funnier every day

    Ghost_of_Bastiat ilyas252 • an hour ago
    Think about it. I believe people are basically good and can be trusted to do the right thing and run their own lives with minimal interference.

    You think people are stupid and easily manipulated/exploited and thus need Big Government to protect them. You'd do violence in the name of "community"--whether they people ask for it or not.

    Now tell me, who's the misanthrope?

    diremoon • a few seconds ago
    It appears to me that every single republican contradicts your argument that people are good. And you think that corporations and the wealthy will do the right thing? Pure bullshit. The reason that laws were enacted in the first place, is that in all of history, they have never done the right thing, without a sword to their throat. To this day, there is no such thing as a conservative that knows right from wrong. They are all sociopaths.

    That mask just flies off online, doesn't it?

  • Irish||

    I don't know how you can stand the people at Rawstory. 95% of leftists would be disgusted by those people.

    They aren't even really leftists. Rawstory is comprised entirely of Tony-level fascist powermongers.

    Remember the time they started gleefully advocating the decapitation of billionaires and were making jokes about the Reign of Terror?

  • ||

    I've got a good one. This is on FB, in response to a story about how the government shutdown prevented beer companies from putting out new beers:

    Me: Or, we could question why you need to get government approval for beer recipes and labels at all.

    Guy 1: So nobody (ahem, Budweiser) tries selling beer made of rat poison. You know that if rat poison was cheaper than corn, they'd do it, too!

    Some Girl: You beat me to it, Guy 1

    Guy 1: Making fun of Budweiser is too easy. But, man, is it cathartic.

    Guy 2: Perhaps this will finally sway a few Tea Party voters? One can only hope!

    Guy 1: I doubt it. You'd have to be a teetotaler to wear the tricorne in a non-ironic way.

    Guy 3: Since craft beer is a product of Carter's deregulation of the market, it is clearly a commie plot to weaken the spirit of the American people.

    Me: Wait, you think the only reason beer companies don't poison their customers is because the government stops them?

    Guy 2: On that note, Guy 1, I'm going to have a Belgian ale, go sleep and dream about a Commie seizure of power in Washington, and then grade a pile of papers all night long!

  • ||

    Guy 1: [Max Power]- Judging how screwed up our food supply was before the Progressives? Yup.

    Me: That makes no sense. I hope you're joking, because I can't believe you really think that.

    Me: I mean, how could you be a successful business if you poison people with your product? Budweiser certainly wouldn't last very long if everyone that drank it died.

    Guy 1: Why would I doubt that an unregulated food industry would lead to horrifying things in our food when that's precisely what happened before? Heck, when, in many ways, more lax regulatory approaches since the start of the Reagan administration have allowed some of these problems to creep back into the food supply?

    -Then some link to a NYT article about The Jungle, then a big lefty circle jerk where more dinguses kept jumping in until I got tired of arguing.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    Did you hear about the Blind hooker?

    ...


    Well, you gotta hand it to her.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

  • RannedPall||

    I've never understood this feminist outrage. Would they prefer an ugly and fat woman on the cover? Would that silence their crowing?

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Actually I can see why some LPGA players who want to be taken seriously as golfers would object to putting someone who is not a professional golfer on the cover of Golfer's Digest for purely titillating reasons.

    It's not an entirely unreasonable reaction if you bust your ass to be good at a very difficult game and some bimbo gets put on the cover.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    Jesse Ventura: How can anyone oppose raising the minimum wage when pure, unrestrained capitalism robbed us in 2008?

    The political rebel and former professional wrestler said raising the minimum wage “absolutely stimulates the economy” because poorer people tend to spend most of their income on goods and services rather than stashing it in a bank.

    “Believe it or not, spending money is the fuel that keeps the economy growing and moving, that is why raising the minimum wage — every time they do it — the economy takes a spike to the good.”

    Ventura said people needed to accept than the United States already had a mixed economy, and neither capitalism nor socialism had a monopoly on good economic policies.

    “The two systems by themselves, it’s been proven they can’t survive. You saw what happened when they took the handcuffs off Wall Street and had pure capitalism back in ’08 — they robbed us blind! The government has to be there to put some type of regulations on it or the thieves will rob you to death.”

    Maybe Carl Weathers is the 'Predator' star that would have been a successful governor.

  • RannedPall||

    Yeah, rob you to death with the money they forced you to invest! Er, wait...

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    Ventura is a 911 Troofer.
    Nothing he says should be listened too.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    What happened to him? Wasn't he once a fairly solid libertarian?

    Lost his mind?

  • Warrren||

    He's always been crazy.

  • Tony||

    Does libertarian mean "giant douche who takes every chance he gets to take a shit on poor people"? Because that's kind of what it sounds like.

  • darkskyabove||

    Is this woman for real? I am a FORMER resident of TAXIFORNIA. (Please add the term Taxifornia to potential memes!)

    If the people of Taxifornia continue to elect "idiots", then they deserve all that they receive, thereby. Of course, the same could be said for all 50, but Taxifonia tends to lead the pack.

  • GILMORE||

    Do you know someone named "On the Road to Mandalay"?

  • RishJoMo||

    Sounds like pretty serious busienss to me dude.

    www.GotzAnon.tk

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