Brickbat: Going Too Fast

Pennsylvania state police have charged Seward Police Chief Robert Baldwin Jr. with with obstruction of justice, hindering apprehension, and official oppression for coercing sex from a woman he'd stopped for running a stop sign. The woman says Baldwin pulled her over and told her to follow him to a secluded area where he told her they could "work the situation out." He let her go but soon texted asking if she'd be home the next day. She says he later came to her home, and they had sex. Baldwin told troopers he didn't remember stopping the woman, but "if you have proof, I guess I did." They say they have the text messages on his phone to the woman as well as evidence he tried to coerce sex from a second woman.

Comments

[SQRLSY One]

Police Chief Robert Baldwin Jr. sounds like quite the pussy-grabber!

Unless Der TrumpfenFuhrer gets the Constitution changed, He won't He be allowed a third term (after his second term, which will happen after the courts verify to be true, the currently most plausible claims of voter fraud, as alleged by Der TrumpfenFuhrer and Minions). The courts will verify as true, the current claims that fluoridated water is chock-full of tiny little Hunter Biden homunculi (one each per each fluorine atom, with a tiny sub-atomic Hunter Biden homunculus-clone working the tiny little brain-control levers, and chucking an evil laugh), and they FORCED tens of millions of fluoridated-water-drinking voters to NOT vote for Trump!

Well anyway, after Trump is gone in another 4 years, Police Chief Robert Baldwin Jr. has got what it would take to be our next Pussy Grabber in Chief!

[Árboles de la Barranca]

They already have the QuidProJoe, the uber-Fascist Mao apologist Digital-Penetrator-in-Chief-serial-sexual-abuser-elect, set to take office. Why do they need a cop? Besides they already have a VEEP that's a Top Cop experienced in mass incarceration of Black California citizens ready to take over a few weeks into the term when Old Joe is found dead of natural causes lying in his bead with a pillow over his face and Dr Jill denying any involvement.

[Fist of Etiquette]

He violated the sanctity of traffic regulations, which are in place solely to satisfy quotas and fill coffers.

[Dorothy Wesley]

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Here’s what I do....... WORK24HERE

[Jerryskids]

Baldwin told troopers he didn't remember stopping the woman

So he was black-out drunk at the time as well?

[Earth Skeptic]

Give the guy a break! When he stops dozens of women every day for BJs, its hard to remember each one.

[Nail]

When the woman asked what Baldwin wanted her to do for him, Baldwin responded that he wanted what her husband gets, which the woman said she understood as sex, according to the complaint.

She really jumped to conclusions here, he could've just meant no sex and good night's rest on her couch.

[Longtobefree]

She could have told the cop she had a headache - - - - - -

[H. Farnham]

"Baldwin responded that he wanted what her husband gets"

Not sure why he's into getting nagged about fixing the leaky faucet and listening to her bitch about her coworkers... but everyone's got their kinks.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

Me, I got a whole toilet to replace.

[H. Farnham]

Ya know the toilet wouldn't even need replacing if you'd stop eating all that junk and eat the healthy meals that I slave over everyday Janice's husband goes to the gym four days a week and you can't even find time to take me dancing once in a while its no wonder I'm never in the mood when you've forgotten what the word romance means and don't leave your tools sitting out on the table when you're done that two-faced Diane is dropping by to deliver a PTA packet and I don't want her thinking we're in need of a maid service and bla with the bla bla if we ever even blabbity bla my mother bla bla bla.................

[sarcasmic]

I don't miss being married.

[H. Farnham]

Ha, I joke about it, but I'm pretty blessed to have my wife/family. Plus it's nice to be able to count on getting some action on my anniversary and birthday every year.

[Its_Not_Inevitable]

Woah! Twice a year. Color me impressed!

[H. Farnham]

My nuptial cup runneth over

[Earth Skeptic]

What about a sandwich?

[loki]

Hope you like burnt Hamburger Helper.

[Formerly Cynical Asshole]

Maybe he just wanted to her make him a sammich and then blather on about the women at work she doesn't like while he eats the sammich and watches football while trying to ignore her until she gets pissy for ignoring her and goes to bed early with a "headache."

[Árboles de la Barranca]

"My husband likes it when I give it to him from behind with a Steely Dan #12 - is that okay?"
(She worries the cop will say yes.)

[Nail]

Slow down I'll tell you when,
I may never walk again........

[SQRLSY One]

BLUE BALLS MATTER.com ... Is that headquartered in Blue Ball, Penna? Close to Intercourse, Pleasureville, Mount Joy, Lititz, Bareville, Bird-in-Hand, and Paradise? I have been there, my friend!
These places are for real, and they will make you squeal with delight!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Ball,_Pennsylvania

[Rossami]

Sorry, reflexively flagged that as spam. That was actually a pretty good parody. My apologies that I can't unflag.

[loki]

Ha! That's hilarious! I thought I might have been pulling off the bot parody a little too well for anyone to notice. I try to avoid Blue Ball as much as possible, the rest of the places are great.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

You forgot Likenzediken

[Á àß äẞç ãþÇđ âÞ¢Đæ ǎB€Ðëf ảhf]

Same here -- too good a parody. Apologies. Hope the Reason moderator unflags it (again?).

[Árboles de la Barranca]

nice one, but where's the free Range Rover?

[loki]

No worries. I'll take the flags as compliment. Also, it gives the moderators something to do since they can't be bothered to get a real job.

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