Trump Leaves Door Open for Talks With North Korea, ICE Raids 7-Elevens, California Mudslides Kill 15: P.M. Links
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stweedy/flickr President Trump said the U.S. was willing to talk to North Korea "under the right circumstances" and that there would be no military action while North-South talks, for which the president of South Korea said Trump deserved "big" credit, continued.
- Trump urged Republicans to "finally take control" of the Russia investigation, which he tweeted was going nowhere.
- Federal immigration agents raided 7-Elevens around the country.
- A school board office in Louisana claimed it had to go on lock down after receiving death threats over an incident where a teacher was arrested at a board meeting.
- At least 15 people have died in mudslides in southern California.
- Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin will settle their divorce out of court.
- The consumer electronics show in Las Vegas suffered a power outage.
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Federal immigration agents radied 7-Elevens around the country.
"Wrong color brown guys."
Hello.
"Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin will settle their divorce out of court."
I hear he gave a spirograph painting of his dick.
"Wrong color brown guys."
"Thank you, come again."
Weiner: Don't mind if I do!
(calls across aisles) Hey Junior, could you get over here for a second?
Those guys are more Chocolate Brown, rather than Burnt Umber.
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Thank you, don't come again
Dammit
So am I supposed to come or not???
Umm... phrasing.
Dude, it was a pat on the head, let it go.
[Lets go]
[ewwwwwwwww]
I broke out singing the Titanic Theme at this exact moment. And let me tell you, everyone in the office looks to be in awe.
Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin will settle their divorce out of court.
The biggest concern is who gets custody of Weiner's nasty-ass drawers.
It will be released to sea, as was agreed upon in the prenup.
That's a violation of several key provisions of both the Paris Accords and the Geneva Conventions.
Well Weiner likes to live Dangerously.
Carlos Dangerously
As long as you are three miles offshore, you can release any human waste you want. It's always fun to run the macerator and watch the brown trail from the stern when you get offshore.
Those are illegal briefs. Am I right?
You are correct.
The consumer electronics show in Las Vegas suffered a power outage.
Bitcoin miners! [shakes Fist]
What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas.
Newsweek was right. They are using all the energy in the world.
Unlike, say, electric cars....
Haven't we learned that shaking Fist does not improve his joke mining ability?
Who says i'm trying to help him out?
When you're already at the pinnacle...
"It's Global Warming!"
Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin will settle their divorce out of court.
Weiner pulls out? I don't know, you come up with something.
That conviction was certainly a blow to Weiner.
If only nity was a word
Abedin? I hardly knew 'im!!!
!!!
The Legend of Huma finally escaped Carlos Danger's Dragonlance.
President Trump said the U.S. was willing to talk to North Korea "under the right circumstances"...
560 character limit.
Nice
560 characters? This is Trump-style diplomacy, not an Ayn Rand novel.
Don't worry, stacking them will not exceed the thickness of Atlas Shrugged.
Only while watching the luge competition at the Olympics.
...for which the president of South Korea said Trump deserved "big" credit, continued.
NORMALIZER
Federal immigration agents radied 7-Elevens around the country.
Radied: Stole the Slurpees from everyone exiting the store.
Radied: name of store clerk.
"I'm here all day folks, tip your waitresses." /Comedian when it was cool to tell racist jokes as long as you picked on everyone.
Okay, the Feds radioed 7-Elevens around the country, but what did they tell them?
When everyone's an editor, no one uses spellcheck.
Trump urged Republicans to "finally take control" of the Russia investigation, which he tweeted was going nowhere.
Going nowhere? Perfect kind of thing for the GOP to grab the reins.
Republicans are truly the Kings of being useless with some DIGNITY
The consumer electronics show in Las Vegas suffered a power outage.
Too many sexbots going at once?
The drains couldn't handle all the ball sweat, so the tank overflowed and shorted the whole convention center.
Godamnit, Crusty.
Say, where IS Crusty....
I hope he's okay... I keep wondering about John too. Haven't seen him for awhile, and it seemed he was having problems last time he posted.
John had a family member with health issues, if I remember correctly.
You're such a sweetie, BUCS.
His ass is gonna blow!
Federal immigration agents radied 7-Elevens around the country
Well, how many Elevens are there? Because at first glance raiding 7 of them doesn't sound that extreme.
Nobody NEEDS seven elevens!
Ain't that the truth! If Bernie campaigns on that in 2020 he's got my vote. Wawa FTW.
Spoiler alert, I haven't finished Season 2 of Stranger Things yet.
The demigorgon just wanted to eat all the batteries at the RadioShack.
Pretty, pretty good.
Please don't tell me the Big Bad turns out to be Larry David.
That can't be a spoiler alert, as I have not started watching Season 1 of Stranger Things.
Except Spinal Tap.
A school board office in Louisana claimed it had to go on lock down after receiving death threats over an incident where a teacher was arrested at a board meeting.
I just assumed death threats were de rigueur for school board meetings.
The teacher questioned the Superintendent getting a raise but not the teachers. This followed the Superintendent picking a replacement board member in favor of giving him a raise to break a tie vote on the matter.
Kahlua Mudslides half off during happy hour.
Every sip is in memorium of those who came before us.
BUCS, you would know. Isn't a mudslide some kind of subgenre?
If this is a real question: not that I know of.
If not: "Waka waka!"
Say, where IS WakaWaka?
WakaWaka is Just Say'n, who still pops in to snark about Gillespie and junk.
You have to pay extra, a LOT extra, for a mudslide in Vegas. Especially during power outages.
for which the president of South Korea said Trump deserved "big" credit, continued.
Borrowing the American president's vernacular I see.
President Trump said the U.S. was willing to talk to North Korea "under the right circumstances" and that there would be no military action while North-South talks
I'm sure there is some way to twist this in to a negative.
Federal immigration agents radied 7-Elevens around the country.
To combat the Indian illegal immigration problem? Dalmia better watch out. //jk
I know there was recently some kerfluffle about this stereotype but I'm struggling to recall ever seeing an Indian working a convenience store. Even 30 years ago. Now if they put him in a doctor's office or an IT shop....
Come to think of it, I have seen more arabs than indians working convenience stores.
When I worked at a 7-Eleven the major franchisee in the city was Nepalese. Which I would assume most people would just lump in with India.
Nepalese, please.
I just moved out of a suburb of Seattle and a fair number of the convenience stores/gas stations there had a pretty heavy percentage of Indian employees. I was always happy to see a turban behind the counter, since it meant I wouldn't have to deal with some pissed-off, minimum wage, entitled white guy with an attitude.
And I've worked in convenience stores, and I hated the customers...
I think Arabs in bodegas is a New York thing. Our population is not typical of most of the country. In flyover parts, Indians from particular sociogeographical niches in India utterly dominate many small business service sectors, like gas stations and especially motels. This is why the stereotype is "7-eleven," not "generic bodega," and the fictional version is "Kwik-E-Mart," which specifically suggests a chain franchisee. This is the type of business that dominates in flyover, and certain Indian populations come to be very strong in it. These occupational/entrepreneurial niches are often very specific and not always immediately obvious, with one that seems superficially very closely related from the consumer's point of view not being so at all from theirs.
Eh, the gas station I go to is owned and run by Indians.
Which is actually the sort of immigrants I approve of, those that come here and start (or buy) businesses, rather than compete with jobs with unskilled Americans.
Poor Huma Weiner; probably the most ironically named person on earth.
A much more accurate name would be something like Licka Lottapuss.
The hits are always coming with this guy!
You amazing innovator, you.
Licka Lottapuss sounds like a Superman Comics character, or maybe a feminist octopus?
Congratulations to Australia's gays, who have at long last achieved the final, definitive victory of a once-oppressed people: fictitious oppression.
.
Lorraine Pacey, who is either a liar or a total cunt, has proclaimed herself to the Canberra Times disrespected and offended when a government website failed to be updated to allow same-sex marriage options several entire hours after they became legal.
.
Surely the Australian lesbian community should be allowed its princesses, of course; the real problem is that this sort of thing is treated these days, as always for any grievance, as though it is remotely normal behavior. And really, I thought if anyone could be trusted to serve up the only remotely psychologically normal reaction to the "ordeal"--i.e., a hearty laughter that only the afterglow of total victory can bring, followed by a cheeky triumphant tweet guaranteed to go viral--it would be the gays.
And give up their place on the SJW victimization scale?
Where do Australian homo like to take it?
Out back.
Two more like this and we got a grand slam!
Simple Mikey gets his best material from the walls of local middle school bathrooms.
I like it. It's endearing. It's like one of those joke from an old Friars Club - Best Joke Dictionary things.
Wait, do people not like that guy or something? We're not supposed to think that was funny? Humor is dead if that shit wasn't funny. Furthermore: < fart >.
I've never gotten a HJ from one, but I hear no one's better if you like a bit of "down under" thrown into the operation.
Dude, it's 2018. Gays can be joyless scolds, too.
The gays are not longer gay?
Not australian gays. The longer gays are the african ones.
I don't think one outraged! lesbian is representative of all of the gays. Blame the media for magnifying stuff way out of proportion.
That's exactly what I did, damn it! Though surely lesbians are supposed to be made of tougher stuff! That shit is just getting too trendy, watering down the population. It's like all of them are the 4-year purplehair types now. Jeez, the least you can do is at least be hot if you're gonna be like that.
Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin will settle their divorce out of court.
With all comms done via text and snapchat.
I wonder if Weiner actually ever has sexted his own wife. If not for the inevitable (and by now quite annoying) waves of nausea that accompanies any mention of his sexuality, I'd be genuinely quite curious.
"out of court"
Advantage, Huma.
Trump urged Republicans to "finally take control" of the Russia investigation, which he tweeted was going nowhere.
Fascist is as fascist does. //prog
"Well, I guess we're gonna have to take control."
Try to battle my boys? That's not legal!
The disgraced pol is serving nearly two years of hard time in a Massachusetts federal lockup.
Well, not *that* hard.
They raided the 7/11's at 6AM, temporarily closing them. You know, just when all is working stiffs are trying to get coffee and gas and what not. Also, probably the most profitable time for the stores. What a bunch of assholes.
Tens of thousands of dollars of truth-in-signage violations are no doubt to be added to the charge sheet.
They tried to do the raids while the stores were closed. Not their fault the chain's name is out of date.
Is... is that actually why they're called 7-11's?
I think in some of your backwoods areas folks actually traditionally call them "7 to 11 stores." But yeah, that's what they used to be wa-a-ay the fuck back in the day. Wasn't that your first thought when you first heard of them as a kid, that that must be why? Or were you just the sort of kid who shot craps in the parking lot, and reasoned along those lines?
Apparently I was the type of kid who never spent time thinking about why 7-11s were called 7-11s.
See, this is the problem with today's youth.
There is a Vietnamese restaurant in Sacramento (I think) called "Twenty Pho Seven". Great name.
Is it any good? Sounds a little hipstery.
There used to be a restaurant on Canal Street in NYC back in the day called Sum Say Gay. They quickly changed it slightly--Sun Sai Kai I believe--but I bet nowadays they'd just embrace it. Qualitywise it was probably crap like 95% of the places in Manhattan Chinatown.