DOJ Seizes Online Marketplace AlphaBay, Exxon Mobil Sues U.S. Treasury, Laptop Ban Lifted: A.M. Links

• 

  Nick Diggory IKON Images/Newscom

  Jeff Sessions claims that the Justice Department has taken down "the largest dark net marketplace in history."

• The U.S. ban on using laptops during flights from Middle Eastern countries has been lifted.
• Hipster socialism is having a moment.
• "Sometimes you have to arrest people to get them help," says Oshkosh, Wisconsin, police chief, defending the department's simultaneous policies of considering all sex workers to be "human trafficking victims" and also throwing said "victims" in jail.
• Exxon Mobil is suing the U.S. Treasury's Office of Foreign Asset Control over a $2 million fine for allegedly violating sanctions on doing business with Russia.
• Denmark is pledging $14 million to send birth control to several countries in Africa as "part of the solution to reducing migratory pressures on Europe," according to Ulla Tørnæs, Denmark's minister for development cooperation.
• Yes, campus "justice" needs to be fixed, writes Cathy Young in The New York Times.

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily updates for more content.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Jeff Sessions claims that the Justice Department has taken down "the largest dark net marketplace in history."

Where you could buy the devil's weed!

[Eek Barba Durkle]

We won't be having any problems with those drugs any more.

[Anomalous]

I suppose we should wait for sentencing before firing up the woodchippers.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

We're gonna need a bigger woodchipper.

[Rhywun]

I feel safer already.

[Citizen X - #6]

Of course. People shouldn't be buying their drugs discreetly on the Internet, they should be purchasing them in bad neighborhoods from dangerous guys with names like T-Bone or Skeez!

[damikesc]

"TEH DARK NET IS STEALING JOBS FROM MA AND PA DRUG DEALERS!!!"

WTF is this dark net bullshit? I keep hearing all of these ads for credit agencies "monitoring" them. If they're so easy to be monitored, how are they "dark"?

[$park? leftist poser]

There always has to be some sinister "other" to keep people afraid of.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Dark Net is any website not crawled by search engines. That's the definition. So every time you log into your bank account you're on the dark net.

Criminal.

[XenoZooValentine]

And if you use that bank account to buy anime porn, it's the Deep Weeb.

[widget]

I fired up my WinXP virtual machine a couple weeks age with the TOR Browser and looked around. AlphaBay has been on the government radar for some time now and is not 4-star darknet market.

One of the popular suggestions for those who want to browse the darknet is to a use a VPN is addition to TOR. This strikes me as stupid. TOR distributes your browsing activity all the fuck over the place. A VPN concentrates it at one (or a likewise set of one) router.

Yeah that's the ticket! says some some government employee in a Dalhgren, Virginia basement.

[Citizen X - #6]

some government employee in a Dalhgren, Virginia basement.

John?

[Rhywun]

"You're under arrest, halfwit."

[Citizen X - #6]

"You're the dumbest criminal i have ever scene. I'm sorry but it's ture."

[Rhywun]

"Why don't you take you're foot out of you're mouth befor you embarass yourself any further."

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

*sincere applause*

[BestUsedCarSales]

Where did he go anyway? Was he part of the Exodus?

[XenoZooValentine]

We gave him to a farm.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Man, I hope it's the same farm we sent my dog to. They'd be fast friends!

[You fuck my wife?]

You sound like someone who has no idea what they're doing and your advice is very, very, very bad.

[Zeb]

Which advice is that?

[You fuck my wife?]

All of it.

[Citizen X - #6]

Thanks for clearing that up. You've been very helpful.

[You fuck my wife?]

I'm not going to discuss how to circumvent anything on a open forum.

Not that I know how anyway.

The idea that I would, or would want to, especially in a forum that is known to be monitored, strikes me as colossal stupid.

[You fuck my wife?]

*colossally

[Agammamon]

OK, you've shown that you don't know what you're talking about.

1. This forum hasn't 'been shown to be monitored' unless you consider random lefties reporting things that aren't crimes to be monitoring.

2. Why wouldn't you discuss circumventing anything in an open forum. Its not illegal you know. Or are you going to go the 'you're helping out the terrorists/government enemies!!!111!!1' by talking about it? Open-source - that's how that works and that's how working exploits are distributed faster than they can be patched out.

[You fuck my wife?]

"1. This forum hasn't 'been shown to be monitored' unless you consider random lefties reporting things that aren't crimes to be monitoring."

I'm just gonna leave this here for everyone to see it forever in case they ever take you seriously again.

I'm counseling caution and prudence. Yeah, wjathe fuck do I know, guy who thinks Reason isn't still monitored.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Is that you, Dunphy?

[You fuck my wife?]

"Is that you, Dunphy?"

Don't be so hard on Agammamon, he's naive, not stupid.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Don't be so hard on Agammamon, he's naive, not stupid.

Wasn't directed to Ag, was directed to you.

Stupid T'Reason threading.

[You fuck my wife?]

"Its not illegal you know"

Neither was the behavior the subpoenas were issued for.

How can you be this naive?

[Hail Rataxes]

lol

[Zeb]

Sorry if that was too subtle. I don't think that widget was making any suggestions, that's all.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The U.S. ban on using laptops during flights from Middle Eastern countries has been lifted.

If only they'd ban using laptops during dinner, am I right moms and dads?

[BestUsedCarSales]

Haha, that is good humor for us fellow parents.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Sometimes you have to arrest people to get them help," says Oshkosh, Wisconsin, police chief...

Talk about being a one trick pony.

[Anomalous]

Sometimes, you have to destroy the village in order to save it.

[Rufus The Monocled]

You have to destroy a life in order to get them to reboot.

[Agammamon]

Sometimes you have to just beat the ever living fuck out of this bent nail with a hammer. Just smash the hell out of it until its beat flat. Its the only thing you can do with a nail.

[Citizen X - #6]

"Sometimes you have to arrest people to get them help," says Oshkosh, Wisconsin, police chief, defending the department's simultaneous policies of considering all sex workers to be "human trafficking victims" and also throwing said "victims" in jail.

"Because i don't understand what 'victim' or 'justice' even mean, that's why."

[Tom Bombadil]

Judge Smails: I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Exxon Mobil is suing the U.S. Treasury's Office of Foreign Asset Control over a $2 million fine for allegedly violating sanctions on doing business with Russia.

Big Oil gets to sue the government? Why can't I sue the government over my parking tickets?

[Domestic Dissident]

Another lefty dipshit scumbagetta in the JournoList wrote a cockamamie tweet blaming her friend dying of cancer on John McCain, got slagged by her bosses, and was forced to make an insincere apology retraction.

Basically, she's the Elizabeth Nolan Brown of the L.A. Times. Except unlike Reason, to their credit they apparently still have a small modicum of expected standards of honesty and decency.

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Holy mackerel! Reason's fuddy-duddy his flapping his lips and spewing bupkis!

[$park? leftist poser]

Crimeny!

[Crusty Juggler :)]

That ragamuffin gives me the heebie jeebies!

[$park? leftist poser]

He sure scares the tar outta me, by gum.

[Crusty Juggler :)]

I bet you a sawbuck that ethel's hopped up.

[XenoZooValentine]

ENB makes me want to become a libertarian journalist, so I can have deranged stalkers too.

[Shut up retard]

"Reason's fuddy-duddy"

What does any of this have to do with Sevo?

[XenoZooValentine]

Sevo also thinks you're a fuddy-duddy. I think he's right.

[Citizen X - #6]

Another cockamamie comment from Simple Mikey. Yell at that cloud, fella.

[paranoid android]

That's a spot-on impression of a deranged Trump tweet, Bootlicker.

[Domestic Dissident]

So you think it's appropriate and perfectly normal to blame a person's cancer on a politician.

You're as much of a psychopath and a loser as these idiot liberals in the media.

[Citizen X - #6]

Yep, if you make fun of Simple Mikey that means you love all of the things he hates. It's a package deal, you JournoList scumbagetta cuckaschmuck!

[paranoid android]

We can all only hope to be as civilized and intellectual as Mikey, a borderline racist who calls people with different politics from his "scum" and wishes for their violent extermination.

[paranoid android]

Man, a glue-huffing retard like Mikey is calling me names, I really ought to go home and rethink my life.

[XenoZooValentine]

I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Basically, she's the Elizabeth Nolan Brown of the L.A. Times.

Is "of the L.A. Times" another way of saying "but waaaay less hot"?

[Crusty Juggler :)]

That dame's no hot dish.

[Matisyahu]

I'd fuck ENB if I picked her up at a bar, but hot?

Stop it.

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

I saw Matisyahu perform in Texas in 100 degree weather. Dude was in full Hasidic garb and spraying sweat like a broken fire hydrant. He would stop and moan "man, it's hot" after each song, and it was clear he was not all there mentally. Kinda like you now.

[Matisyahu]

"Kinda like you now."

Cry more bitch.

Meanwhile "hot" doesn't mean "attractive."

[Dillinger]

>>>Meanwhile "hot" doesn't mean "attractive."

it did yesterday, is this new?

[Matisyahu]

No, it didn't meant it yesterday either.

They're not synonyms

[Dillinger]

everyone and I have been totally misusing "hot" since about 1985...awesome.

[Matisyahu]

So, everyone who is attractive to you is also hot? There's no difference?

Then yes, you and the people in the group You think comprises "everyone has been misusing it.

Glad I could help.

[Dillinger]

we're not really fighting, dude...square/rhombus rhombus/square...

[Matisyahu]

No guy, they aren't interchangeable

[Crusty Juggler :)]

I think we have found our "Stupidest Argument Of The Year So Far" award winner.

Congrats, person who is almost certainly trolling - you did it.

[Matisyahu]

And crusty shows up because he wasn't getting enough attention

[Dillinger]

*wonders: pride, or ducking?

[Matisyahu]

It was both. You were too proud to admit I was right that they are different, so you ducked my question.

Why are you wondering about your own motivations?

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

I guarantee you Crusty that this will get topped before the year is over. Also, what am I doing commenting in the AM links in the afternoon. Crazy sauce.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

+1 Participation Award

[Eek Barba Durkle]

To be clear, I only meant that I find her hot in the sense that I am a heterosexual male. I can see why people outside this group would have a different opinion.

[Matisyahu]

That, and the fact that she's just attractive, not hot.

But the casual homophobia was classy.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

So, you found some homophobia in there, huh? Neat.

Probably some fascism, too, if you look hard enough.

[BestUsedCarSales]

If we didn't have all this casual homophobia on reason how would we diffuse all of the constant homosexual tension between us all?

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

Sword fights?

[BestUsedCarSales]

The two most attractive qualities in a woman is their mind and a constant defense of the rights of prostitutes. ENB is a gem. A GEM.

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

I'm sure you don't listen to such a cuckshow, but on last week's Fifth Column, Eli Lake introduces himself by asking for a one-hitter (aka the sticky icky).

Thought you'd like to know.

[Domestic Dissident]

Of course I don't listen to it, but I hope Welch at least had the basic decency to privately apologize to Lake on the mentally disturbed Elizabeth Nolan Brown's behalf.

[Citizen X - #6]

Simple Mikey is proud of the fact that the poorly-sketched caricatures inhabiting his head receive no input whatsoever from reality. Sad!

[$park? leftist poser]

Yes, campus "justice" needs to be fixed, writes Cathy Young in The New York Times

Still giving props to the Russian spy hack JournoList, eh Treason?

[Zeb]

Jeff Sessions claims that the Justice Department has taken down "the largest dark net marketplace in history."

Phew, that's a relief. I'm sure all potential online drug dealers have learned their lesson now and no one will ever be able to buy drugs online again.

[Shut up retard]

"Sometimes you have to arrest people to get them help,"

Nah.

[Tom Bombadil]

Next on the agenda: beheading rape victims (to help them).

[Fist of Etiquette]

Denmark is pledging $14 million to send birth control to several countries in Africa as "part of the solution to reducing migratory pressures on Europe," according to Ulla T?rn?s, Denmark's minister for development cooperation.

I was about to claim a sinister, racist population control scheme is what this is really about, but the stated explanation doesn't read any better.

[$park? leftist poser]

It's totally not like that.

[XenoZooValentine]

Even if it is, it's OK if they have good intentions and something something punching up.

[Gadfly]

It's funny, because a much easier way to reduce migratory pressure would be to stop giving migrants government money and deport illegal immigrants. But instead they go to birth control, with all the connotations you note. I don't get Europeans.

[Dillinger]

>>>a much easier way to reduce migratory pressure

moat. big moat.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yes, campus "justice" needs to be fixed, writes Cathy Young in The New York Times.

Cathy Young, noted gender traitor.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Cathy Young, Russiaed Russia Russian.

[Citizen X - #6]

You misspelled "Yekaterina Yung," comrade!

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

I think you meant:

Vy oshiblis' "Yekaterina Yung", tovarishch!

Fuckin' T'Reason wont take Cyrillic.

[Citizen X - #6]

Obviously.

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

You know who else won't take Cyrillic?

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Lana, anymore...

Oh, you said Cryil-LIC. Nevermind.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

You know who else won't take Cyrillic?

Croatians?

[Drave Robber]

It won't take even 'tomorrow' in Spanish which contains just one non-ANSI character.

[Shut up retard]

Jeff Sessions

Evil?

Or evil and stupid?

[Tom Bombadil]

Perfect hybrid. What I imagined a Hillary Presidency would be like.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Both.

And ugly too.

[Shut up retard]

Fair but firm.

[gaoxiaen]

Grinchy.

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Hugh Freeze brought down by hubris, vengeance and sex

The man had been caught calling an escort service. That had triggered an investigation into other phone calls.

Don't call an escort service from your university-owned phone, stupid. He deserves to be fired for not knowing how to properly flaunt all laws and NCAA rules, like a good college sports coach.

Burner phones and cut-outs, dummy.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

As a Hog fan who hated/hates/will always hate Nutt, and participated in his downfall at Arkansas, this is pretty much the best thing that ever happened in sports, ever, at any time ever.

The dipshit used the exact same method we used to get rid of him, to burn down one of our rivals. Faaaaaan-fucking-tastic.

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Didn't Nutt use his university phone to send many - hundreds, thousands, something like that - text messages to women who weren't his wife?

Do you know who doesn't use his university phone for funny business? Nick Saban. That man knows how to run a criminal enterprise.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Didn't Nutt use his university phone to send many - hundreds, thousands, something like that - text messages to women who weren't his wife?

Yessir - this really is GroundHog Decade.

In 2006, we FOI'd Nutt's university phone records. The first thing we found was thousands of text messages to Donna Bragg, a local news anchor, including one just minutes before we went out and shit down our legs in the Cap One Bowl. The sexual angle got other people interested, and a deep look at his records showed a number of recruiting and moral improprieties, which eventually led to his resignation in 2007.

Fast forward a decade, and it's basically the exact same story, except now Nutt is us, and Freeze is Nutt. We get to watch Freeze, Nutt AND Ole Miss burn, all together.

THIS is the Libertarian moment!

[XenoZooValentine]

Hugh Freeze what?

[Crusty Juggler :)]

The Minnesota cop muderer's lawyer:

Noor's attorney, Tom Plunkett, also gave a statement Thursday, saying that Noor has no plans to talk with investigators.

Plunkett also wants a coroner's report with an outside lab, saying "it would be nice to know if there were some Ambien in [Damond's] system."

On that, he didn't elaborate.

These shooting victims need a union.

[Fist of Etiquette]

This is outrageous. Usually the cop himself doesn't have to go after the deceased for drugs in the system. The blue wall is really dropping the ball.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Also, did anyone ever stop the back alley rape she had originally called in?

[BestUsedCarSales]

Nope. Still going on to this very day.

[damikesc]

This is outrageous. Usually the cop himself doesn't have to go after the deceased for drugs in the system. The blue wall is really dropping the ball.

Well, after the Baltimore police video, perhaps he planted Ambien in her system.

...sad that this is not as paranoid a concern as it should be,

[Citizen X - #6]

"it would be nice to know if there were some Ambien in [Damond's] system."

Yes, because if you're sleepy you should DEFINITELY be murdered by an agent of the state.

[$park? leftist poser]

She was Australian. Drugs have the opposite effect on people from down under.

[Citizen X - #6]

She'd grabbed the door of the cop car and was starting to rip it right off its hinges, man.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

The 911 dispatcher recognized her Aussie accent and probably warned Officers Friendly that she was out walking her pet Dropbear.

They were justifiably IN FEAR.

[Agammamon]

And they're fast man. Like really fast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK0Tvz2YqbQ

You can't let people like that within arms reach.

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

To be clear, we are talking about koalas, right?

[Citizen X - #6]

Educate yourself, girl.

[Tom Bombadil]

They should also check to see if she was menstruating. You know, mood swings and such.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Don't be hysterical.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Don't be hysterical.

That would be my Rule of Thumb.

[Zeb]

He probably wants to try to claim that she was sleepwalking and that that means that she might have been behaving strangely.

[damikesc]

"it would be nice to know if there were some Ambien in [Damond's] system."

Yes, because if you're sleepy you should DEFINITELY be murdered by an agent of the state.

If it's not Quaaludes, then you're really not that tired, fucking drug addicts.

[paranoid android]

"She was probably on Ambien. Broke ever bone in her hand and wouldn't feel it for hours. There was this guy once, see this scar?"

[XenoZooValentine]

I met that actor (Lance Henriksen) once at DragonCon. Pretty cool guy.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

These shooting victims need a union.

They have one.
It is just not on this Mortal Coil.

[Mickey Rat]

Alright, contestants, is this lawyer an Asshole, a Jackoff, or a Scumbag?

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

To PC for the verbal tirade I want to spew like bile in his general direction.

[XenoZooValentine]

The only reason this could be relevant is that Ambien is known for causing sleepwalking and strange behavior, but considering that she talked to 911 and was lucid then, it seems like this just a Hail Mary pass by the cop's lawyer.

(I know someone who a bad experience with it once and "woke up" lost and driving on some New Jersey highway in the middle of night, not fun even when you're wide awake.)

[Fist of Etiquette]

Unlike liberals, who emerged from the 1960s prioritizing the political freedoms associated with individual rights, the socialist left has posited that most people ? the working class ? remain effectively powerless if capitalists control work, wages and welfare. In their view, the left's mission ? the reason for its existence ? ought to be expanding the idea of political freedom to include economic freedom. This historical distinction between liberalism and socialism has resurfaced with the millennial left.

At least they share the common denominator of wanting someone else to pay for their predilections.

[Citizen X - #6]

In their view, the left's mission ? the reason for its existence ? ought to be expanding the idea of political freedom to include economic freedom.

Expanding freedoms by drastically limiting them! SOCIALISM!

[Jerryskids]

Freeing people from responsibility for the consequences of their actions is where liberty passes into license.

[Zeb]

the working class ? remain effectively powerless if capitalists control work, wages and welfare

Even if that's true, how do people figure that government controlling those things will change their situation for the better?

[damikesc]

Even if that's true, how do people figure that government controlling those things will change their situation for the better?

That's always the stumbling block.

I have a father-in-law who both wants single payer and whines that the VA has terrible medical service.

I once asked him "Why do you think a much larger VA would be better than the one we have now?"

We don't discuss political stuff any more.

[Arizona_Guy]

Yes, give more power to the people who already displayed their incompetence.

Progressive governance is the ultimate example of 'failing up'.

[Agammamon]

You know, for all this talk about how bad capitalism is, I ask these people why they don't just go and start their own business and they tell me its impossible. Because nobody has millions of dollars to build a factory and manage compliance with regulation.

And when you point out that you did that with roughly $3k of initial capital they tell you that you don't make enough to justify having done it.

You point out that there are lot's of business types that thrive on the worker-owned model - most professional partnerships for example - where the people involved make lot's of money and they dismiss them as outliers.

You point out that there are investment markets where you can find other people in the same situation where you can pool resources and they tell you that you're crazy.

You point out that a capitalist enterprise is, *by definition*, collectively-owned (by the shareholders) and they say it doesn't count unless the collective encompasses everyone.

[Arizona_Guy]

"economic freedom"

Which of course means the opposite of what they think it means.

They probably think 'political freedom' includes mandatory voting.

[ChipToBeSquare]

"Economic freedom? You mean freedom from hunger and material want?"

I like to ask them to explain wealth, in addition to poverty. It usually never strikes them that poverty is our natural state and wealth has to be created

[Citizen X - #6]

Socialists tend not to understand wealth at all, from what i've seen. They don't know how to create it or hang onto it (if they happen to fall into it by some accident), so they tend to assume that anyone who has made money has cheated somehow. Look at Bernie Sanders, for example, who never had a job until he was elected mayor of Burlington at the age of 40. Look at Karl Marx, whose sole means of support was donations from his friend Fred Engels (who "borrowed" petty cash from his dad's business to give to Marx), which he was far more likely to spend on books or writing supplies than on rent or food for his kids.

[Citizen X - #6]

Look at our own american socialist, who couldn't figure out that, if you take out a mortgage to pay for your home, you have to pay it back.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Hipster socialism is having a moment.

To be fair, the libertarian moment has run its course, it's time to try something new.

[Citizen X - #6]

If libertarians are just conservatives who want to smoke pot, then maybe socialists are just progressives who want to systematically murder millions of people.

[Rhywun]

I learned today that leftists like "racial diversity". Great scoop, WaPo!

[damikesc]

But only the right kind of racial diversity.

Dark-skinned folks who don't agree with Progressivism aren't REALLY people...

[Meh.]

It's just frustrating because this has potential to be the libertarian moment, since most millennials agree that the government is often corrupt and government assistance programs are failing the people they're intended to help. It's really hard to have a conversation go deeper than the superficial "socialism = caring, libertarianism = selfish" spiel though.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Ultimately, we all agree that the food is horrible, but Millennials have the additional complaint that the portions are too small.

[lafe.long]

It's really hard to have a conversation go deeper than the superficial "socialism = caring, libertarianism = selfish" spiel though.

LIBERTARIANS ARE SELFISH

now give me your money so I can buy the things I want

H/T Libertarian Party of Florida

[ChipToBeSquare]

I think determining whether or not they're open to libertarianism depends on figuring out whether they have a constrained or unconstrained vision of humanity, per Thomas Sowell. Kids these days are almost all unconstrained, because they think we can eliminate racism and greed with government policy. They just think we need the right policies and people in charge, and after that they can continue their quest to bend people toward their vision of moral perfection. I don't know how to reach people with that degree of delusion. It starts young and it's hard to unlearn

[BestUsedCarSales]

Yes, that's the fundemental differences I think. The difference between libertarians and others isn't that we think the system is corrupt and they don't. The difference we think that it is an inherent flaw in government as a concept, while they think it's because those in power don't care enough.

[Jerryskids]

Denmark is pledging $14 million to send birth control to several countries in Africa as "part of the solution to reducing migratory pressures on Europe"

If it takes a village to raise a child, I don't see why the village shouldn't have a say in whether or not a child's produced. That's obviously part of the solution. Next step, we start deciding who gets retroactively aborted. We can call that the final solution.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Denmark is pledging $14 million to send birth control to several countries in Africa as "part of the solution to reducing migratory pressures on Europe"

Zombie Margaret Sanger

[XenoZooValentine]

The most important part is making sure the schools, media, and everybody else constantly brainwash any kids we have to think the system makes sense.

It takes a village to raise an idiot.

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Inside the Secret Plan to Stop Vladimir Putin's U.S. Election Plot

In the months following the California primaries, the feds discovered that Russian hackers had broken into more than 20 state and local election systems and attempted to alter voter registration in several of them. Looking back at the events in Riverside County, cybersecurity officials at the White House wondered whether it had been a test run by the Russians. "It looked like a cyberattacker testing what kind of chaos they could unleash on Election Day," says one former federal cybersecurity official who looked into the case. "There was no forensic evidence, so we may never know for sure, but the intelligence told us the Russians were bragging about doing just that."

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

"There was no forensic evidence, so we may never know for sure, but the intelligence told us the Russians were bragging about doing just that."

So, that's why the DNC wouldn't let the FBI examine their server after it was hacked.

Oh, wait ...

[damikesc]

Hasn't the DHS been found to have tried and hack multiple states election systems?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

For example, instead of advocating for single-payer health care, Democrats passed Obamacare, a largely ineffective market-based solution.

There's a lot wrong with this sentence. It's true that Democrats believed it was a market-based solution, and there is a kind of market at work with Obamacare, with predictable results.

[Rufus The Monocled]

"Denmark is pledging $14 million to send birth control to several countries in Africa as "part of the solution to reducing migratory pressures on Europe," according to Ulla T?rn?s, Denmark's minister for development cooperation."

More of that white paternalism.

Next on Scandinavians do the darnedest things!

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

You know, one could be a dickhead and ask, "What migratory pressures on Europe?"

[Rufus The Monocled]

Or really get technical. 'What's the psi?

[$park? leftist poser]

It's the 23rd letter of the Greek alphabet. Everyone knows that.

[Rufus The Monocled]

/throws deflated football at Spark.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Korean Singer/dancer/music producer?

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

First or Second Chebyshev function?

[adjusts spectacles]

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Hipster socialism is having a moment.

Do you know who else had a moment?

[Crusty Juggler :)]

The Beat Generation?

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Kenny Loggins?

[BestUsedCarSales]

I'm sickened that you responded to your own joke that many times. You aren't actually better than us all.

[Citizen X - #6]

Denmark is pledging $14 million to send birth control to several countries in Africa as "part of the solution to reducing migratory pressures on Europe," according to Ulla T?rn?s

I wonder if Bernie Sanders wants to adopt THIS aspect of Danish government policy as well as all the rest.

[Crusty Juggler :)]

The Whig Party?

[Tom Bombadil]

Alexander L?pe?

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

The Third Reich?

[Dillinger]

Whitney Houston?

[XenoZooValentine]

Seniors everywhere?

[Adans smith]

What,no 'you know who else?' on the Dutch story? I'll go first ,Margret Sanger.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Damn your quick fingers.

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Jeff Sessions claims that the Justice Department has taken down "the largest dark net marketplace in history."

Guess what happened next!

Two of the largest online black-market sites have been shuttered in a law enforcement crackdown, but drug dealers have moved in a hurry to a third "dark net" emporium, where listings of fentanyl and heroin have already spiked, according to analysts.

The newfound popularity of DreamMarket highlights the whack-a-mole challenges of policing drugs sold online even as government officials touted the the death of the other two sites, AlphaBay and Hansa.

[$park? leftist poser]

You know what the actual worst thing about America is? It's the fact that every sandwich by default comes with lettuce and tomato. And if you ask for them to be left off, or take them off yourself, everyone looks at you like you're some kind of vegetable-hating caveman.

[Rhywun]

And what's the deal with airline peanuts?

[Tom Bombadil]

And how about that seat recline? My seat only goes back one inch, but the guy's head in front of me is in my lap. I mean what's the deal with that?

And what the hell does it mean to "deplane"? I just want to get the fuck off.

And how about that seat belt demo? I mean.....

[Meh.]

Always go with asking for the tomato to be left off, even if it makes you look like someone who'd be more comfortable ordering off of the children's menu. If you wait to take it off yourself, the sandwich is always weirdly soggy. I just feel like bread should never be juicy.

[ChipToBeSquare]

I like tomato, even if it's redundant with ketchup for some people. But requesting no lettuce always throws people off. I'm getting a fast food sandwich/burger here. I am not making a healthy decision. Let's leave out the 2 calories of pointless crunch

[Citizen X - #6]

You burn more calories digesting lettuce than you obtain from it, so technically it's more like gaining 2 calories.

[Juice]

Yes tomato. No ketchup. It's for kids.

[BestUsedCarSales]

That crunch is meaningful in of itself. Gives texture to the sandwich.

[Citizen X - #6]

$park? doesn't care for textures. Also, his favorite color is beige.

[$park? leftist poser]

When I want texture, I put Doritos in my sandwich.

[$park? leftist poser]

That's why I always ask for pickles to be left off. If you take them off yourself you still have to eat pickle flavored bread.

[Citizen X - #6]

Thanks, now i'm hungry for Chic-Fil-A.

[$park? leftist poser]

Once I found out that they make their batter with pickle juice I vowed to never go there.

[Citizen X - #6]

My thoughts and prayers are with your incredibly stunted palate.

[$park? leftist poser]

You know what else sucks? CVT, that's what. I went from an older car with manual transmission to a newer car with CVT and it's like having to learn to drive all over again.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Really, is it that bad?

I was in the market for a Murano a few years back and I kinda liked the way it drove.

Ended up getting an Acura MDX 'cos the wifey like it better. I thought it was a little too "trucky".

Prolly 'cos I was used to driving a Legend.

[$park? leftist poser]

I don't like it because you can feel it constantly up and down shifting. Even more so than you could with standard automatic transmission. And according to the mechanic, it's SOP for it to sometimes sit at 1500 RPM when you're trying to accelerate and sometimes gun to 4500 RPM.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Sounds like you got your tranny out of an old Subaru Justy.

[Citizen X - #6]

Dude, the preferred nomenclature is "transgendered person."

[$park? leftist poser]

It's a newish Subaru Impreza. Maybe it's just a Subaru thing.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Wouldn't know, myself.

Ask your local Lesbian for Subaru reviews.

[Tom Bombadil]

What's the difficulty? Isn't it like driving a really fast golf cart?

[Dillinger]

i like shifting.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

"Sometimes you have to arrest shoot people to get them help," says Oshkosh, Wisconsin, police chief, defending the department's simultaneous policies of considering all sex workers to be "human trafficking victims" and also throwing said "victims" in jail.

FTFY

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

Sometimes you have to shoot their dogs too.

[Rich]

Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly said the laptop ban was a "pause," a stopgap measure until airports could make other security improvements "find out what the hell is going on".

FTFY

[Arizona_Guy]

Agent of the State shoots unarmed woman. CBS blames 'gun culture'

[Arizona_Guy]

If the peasants are disarmed, then the King's Men would not have to kill so many of the peasants.

[Rhywun]

Nauseating smug on all sides.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

This is fucking amazing. I'm not sure i've ever seen a point so massively missed.

America's reluctance to strengthen its gun regulations and its seemingly endless stream of shooting deaths have long been a source of confusion and concern in Australia, which instituted tough gun ownership laws in 1996 following a deadly mass shooting. At the time, then-Prime Minister John Howard -- a conservative -- warned Australians against following America's lead on gun control, saying: "We have an opportunity in this country not to go down the American path."

Excellent. Not only are we not solving the problem, we're running in the opposite direction, waving our arms in the air!

[Arizona_Guy]

"seemingly endless stream of shooting deaths"

Most of the USA is pretty safe to live in. Your odds of being murdered are pretty damn slim.

But that doesn't fit the narrative.

[XenoZooValentine]

I guess we should ban cars because of the "seemingly endless stream of automobile accident deaths" too.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

I feel like a masochist today who's only here to inflict pain on myself.

[XenoZooValentine]

I guess it's just like they blame JFK getting shot by a far-left Commie on "an atmosphere of right-wing extremism" too.

[Sevo]

Without government agencies protecting us, why, we'd all be sick:

" Yet More Stomach Trouble for Chipotle
Virginia store temporarily closed after reports of illnesses "
http://www.newser.com/story/24.....potle.html

The gang that can't wash a tomatoe.

[Rhywun]

The problem for them is one person getting the sniffles in their parking lot is going to be national news. We never hear any "reports of illnesses" from restaurants not named "Chipotle".

[Crusty Juggler :)]

We never hear any "reports of illnesses" from restaurants not named "Chipotle".

It's a stock-market strategy:

Why not crowd-source customer complaints at U.S. restaurant chains, not just for health, but for stock-market profits?

Enter iwaspoisoned.com, which Morgan Stanley's former global head of interest-rates trading-market structure founded in 2009. This week his site compiled complaints from a single Chipotle Mexican Grill Inc. restaurant that promptly sent the burrito chain's stock price into a tailspin.

[Rhywun]

Wow, that's "PharmaBro" levels of asshole.

PS. That website is EXTREMELY annoying.

[Dillinger]

takes world-class stupidity to still eat @chipotle.

[Mickey Rat]

They cannot quite grasp that "organic" means "covered in shit".

[NotAnotherSkippy]

Organic.

[widget]

Take the trash out, tend to the garden, and fuck your wife yourself. Take command of your castle and join the alt-right!

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Create a meme, post it on Reddit, and watch interracial porn. Take yourself too seriously and join the alt-right!

[Citizen X - #6]

Wear a trilby, get mad when people call it a fedora, and collect swords. Tell everyone it was YOUR idea to ban girls from your room in Mom's basement and join the alt-right!

[Crusty Juggler :)]

Are you insecure with a desperate need to feel ineffectually powerful? Are you all about the lulz? Then join the alt right and one day you will be able to please a woman!

[BestUsedCarSales]

- 3DPD?
- HRC ?
+ DFC?
Join the alt right today

[Citizen X - #6]

4d3d3d3?

[XenoZooValentine]

Does the modern world confuse and frighten you? Need a trendy new belief system to wear as a fashion statement? Want to be just as smug and ignorant as the progtards while still pretending to be morally superior? Do you smell like Axe body spray, desperation, and cream cheese? Join the alt-right today!

[Meh.]

That last sentence actually made me laugh out loud.

[Citizen X - #6]

Truth does tend to resonate.

[Domestic Dissident]

Around here it's more like: order your Latino maid to take the trash out, go to Whole Foods, take turns playing "pitcher and catcher" with your gay lover, take command of your D.C. condominium, and pretend to be a libertarian while voting for liberal democrats!

[Crusty Juggler :)]

What a load of phooey!

[Sevo]

Mike, it's a shame you're so jealous.

[Citizen X - #6]

He sure seems to have fun, arguing with the cartoons in his head.

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

Sounds like a good weekend.

[Drave Robber]

Join shift-down, and you won't have to do anything.

[Dillinger]

>>>"the largest dark net marketplace in history."

totally forgets the Macedonians had a badass dark net.

[Rebel Scum]

OT: Clinton supporters still delusional

But when the Groper in Chief does disappear, who should fill the void?
Below I make the eminently defensible case that it should not be Vice-President Mike Pence, as the Constitution would suggest, but rather the woman from whom the election was stolen in the first place, Hillary Clinton.

1) Enough about Bill Clinton
2) These words don't mean what this person thinks.
3) Things in the Constitution are not "suggestions". They're the law, bitch.
4) The election was not stolen. Your terrible candidate ran a terrible campaign and lost to a billionaire, real-estate mogul, celebrity, blowhard. Wheel and deal.

Here is a 14-point justification for swearing in the most qualified presidential candidate in history:

Again, words, meaning, etc. It's as dumb as you think.

[Arizona_Guy]

I like it when Team Blue hacks tell us a pervy sexual harasser is beneath the dignity of the Oval Office.

[Agammamon]

If the Groper-in-Chief disappears, wouldn't that mean that Biden would take Bill Clinton's place?

[Sevo]

"...but rather the woman from whom the election was stolen in the first place, Hillary Clinton."

She did win the popular vote, and then she also won the "Most Likely to End Up In Jail" vote in her junior year, so that should be added to the total, too, right?

[Citizen X - #6]

She won the national popular vote by a smaller margin than she won the California popular vote, so how about she gets to be governor of California? It shouldn't be possible to do a worse job at it than Jerry Brown.

[XenoZooValentine]

Winning the popular vote might matter if we elected presidents by popular vote.

We don't, so it doesn't.

[KerryW]

That's not a parody article? If not, they are now beyond parody...

[Rebel Scum]

I've been trying to figure out if it is, in fact, parody. But I have seen other examples as of late that suggest these people are way beyond parody already.

[Zeb]

Hard to say. But the same author also wrote this: http://extranewsfeed.com/after.....9c2982c01c

[Mickey Rat]

I love the lack of self-awareness saying that Trump thinks himself above the law is an argument for Clinton and installing her as President contrary to the
succession law as it stands.

[Stormy Dragon]

Meanwhile in Trump World, the President has apparently started asking his lawyers if he's allowed to pardon himself.

[Citizen X - #6]

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

[XenoZooValentine]

I lol'd.

[Robespierre Josef Stalin]

Newscom
Jeff Sessions claims that the Justice Department has taken down "the largest dark net marketplace in history."

I'm sure glad we elected Trump-- the best libertarian President EVAH!

[XenoZooValentine]

Yes, campus "justice" needs to be fired.

Fixed.

[XenoZooValentine]

"Sometimes you have to arrest people to get them help," says Oshkosh, Wisconsin, police chief, defending the department's simultaneous policies of considering all sex workers to be "human trafficking victims" and also throwing said "victims" in jail.

Doublethink is a hell of a drug.