Tim Kaine Not Worried About Wikileaks Targetting Him, Clinton Calls Trump a Loser, Kurdish Forces Say They're Within 5 Miles of Mosul: A.M. Links

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    Hillary Clinton running mate Tim Kaine says he's not worried about Wikileaks targetting him. Clinton called Donald Trump a "loser" on the campaign trail. Gary Johnson could win New Mexico.

  • Kurdish commanders say their forces are within 5 miles of Mosul.
  • The Pentagon wants veterans from the California National Guard to return entrollment bonuses it says were improperly paid six years ago.
  • A 72-year-old retired soldier in Japan blew himself up in a local park, leaving a suicide note and injuring three. Two other explosions occurred nearby.
  • The undersecretary of state for East Asian and Pacific affairs will meet with the foreign minister of the Philippines after the Philippines president, Rodrigo Duterte, announced a "separation" from the United States. Duterte later called the U.S. the country's "closest friend."
  • The ACLU of New Jersey criticized a high school football pre-game ceremony honoring police officers, the military, and first responders for its underlying "frightening message."
  • A casino tour bus crashed with a big rig in California, killing at least 13 people and injuring more than 30 more.

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  1. Hillary Clinton running mate Tim Kaine says he’s not worried about Wikileaks targetting him.

    He doesn’t know how to use email.

    1. Hello.

      1. Hello back, Rufus.

        Wishing you a splendid day.

        1. Wonderful!

    2. And anyone who’s heard of him already thinks little of him.

  2. Clinton called Donald Trump a “loser” on the campaign trail.

    Hopefully using making her hand into an L shape against her forehead when she did. For the kids.

    1. That’s the way to do it, obvs.

      1. Elspeth, been awhile. Out on work release, or were you just taking a break from politics?

    2. I like to think that she practiced in front of a mirror to get the intonation correct so her derision came across properly. That, and the irony.

  3. The ACLU of New Jersey criticized a high school football pre-game ceremony honoring police officers, the military, and first responders for its underlying “frightening message.”

    WAR ON COPS

    1. Y COM ALUC HATS MERICASAS HEOROSE

    2. If you are frightened of a sportzball pregame ceremony, I think you might need to see a shrink.

      1. Must be recent college grads. Not sure how actual world works.

    3. I would have criticized it because it’s a load of bullshit that has nothing to do with football.

    4. “As initially described, the event appeared to honor police officers, veterans, service members, and first responders,” the ACLU wrote to the district. “According to press reports, however, the event is being used to intimidate and ostracize
      people who express their views about systemic racism and social just.”

      “Law enforcement officers are sworn to protect the constitution, and it is a disservice to the students and players that an event that should focus on them, their families, and their communities is being used to send a message that people who express concerns about disparities in the criminal justice system are unwelcome, disloyal or unpatriotic,” the letter states.

      The ACLU itself is sending a frightening message, isn’t it? A divisive message that the system is rigged undermines the foundational pillar of our American democracy that the system is a legitimate system. Everyone must agree with this and condemn anyone who says otherwise.

  4. Gary Johnson could win New Mexico.

    There is precedent. President of New Mexico.

    1. Gary Johnson could win New Mexico.

      Hey, at least he’s popular in other countries!

      1. New Mexico should secede. Call it Newer Mexico.

        1. New and Improved New Mexico. Now with 50% more Mexicans.

          1. I’m not a fan of either old or new Mexico, I don’t think Newer Mexico is going to make me start.

            1. Other things UCS is not a fan of: alcohol, caffeine, chocolate, music, fun, food that has flavor…

              1. …And at #1, People on his lawn

              2. Why do we even need a new Mexico?

                1. Have you seen the old? I think the new model fixed some of the design flaws in the original.

              3. Other things UCS is not a fan of: alcohol, caffeine, chocolate, music, fun, food that has flavor…

                If you’re ever at a Dinosaur Barbeque, try the Churrasco Chicken sandwiches, they have a couple of varieties.

            2. Nobody needs two Mexicos.

        2. North Mexico, I believe.

          It would be cool if a state were to call its chief executive “President”. No law against it, after all.

    2. There’s a *New* Mexico now?

  5. Latest derp from Occupy Democrats: a map showing what the minimum wage would have to be in each state for minimum wage workers to afford a two bedroom house.

    But rather than just engage in outrage, let’s discuss what a typical min wage earner ought to be able to afford on his salary. I think a small one-bedroom apartment is about it. And by typical I mean in a place like Cleveland or Paducah. Not Manhattan, SF or Portlandia.

    1. A minimum wage worker should be able to afford nothing – because they’re making $0.

      1. My orphans have everything they need. They don’t need an income.

      2. If only everyone could understand this.

    2. In Maryland it would need to be about $100,000 a year.

      1. That’s another thing wrong with that. It assumes that economies are uniform throughout the entire state. NYC is a far different thing from, say, Fredonia. But we all know that the real goal here is to simply raise wages for everyone and ignore the fact that this will simply lead to inflation and a reduced standard of living for retirees on fixed incomes.

        1. Two real goals, actually:
          1. Buy votes of the ignorant free shit crowd and guilty leftists with other people’s money.
          2. Pay off the unions, because union wages are generally linked to some multiple of the minimum wage.

          1. Oh, and also 3. Swell the ranks of voters for the party of government dependency.

          2. #2 is pretty much applicable only to public sector unions now, if at all. Private sector contracts are mostly based on previous contract levels, benefit costs (which drives cash wage rates flat or down), and industry wage rates (and except for a very few industries, is mostly driven by non-union rates). Public sector unionization is the growth area and that’s what most unions are focused on.

    3. A minimum wage job here would net ~1200/mo before taxes. Renting a bedroom in a house is an easy $3-500. A one bedroom apartment runs $6-800, probably out of reach unless fairly frugal.

      Of course, all of this neglects transfer payments.

      1. Why do all of these analyses neglect the rational reaction of getting roommates and assuming that this one schlub is going to be footing the whole housing bill alone?

        1. Because a minimum wage should pay for all the amenities of a middle-income life, somehow.

          1. ^This. They really believe that someone should be able to own a house and raise a family on the salary of a single burger flipper.

            1. I always wonder if progs are capable of comprehending that when burger flippers are paid like engineers in their endgame, it’s going to be impossible for the demographic they’re doing this for to get a burger flipper job anymore. Fast food is going to have their pick of all the intelligent, driven, overqualified, overeducated people switching to burger flipping because it pays the same as their old job for a tenth the effort.

              1. So then the ranks of the unemployed will swell, as will the welfare rolls, and thus ensure an ever-increasing pool of guaranteed votes for the left. This is not unintentional.

            2. Sure. College, homes and cars should be free!

              How else are we supposed to stay on the gov teat.

  6. A 72-year-old retired soldier in Japan blew himself up in a local park…

    Seppukaboom?

    1. He couldn’t get into Explosive Ordinance Disposal.

    2. I find it odd that a nation as sophisticated as Japan hasn’t made a law forbidding such behavior.

      1. I seem to recall they encouraged it for a while there…

    3. Boomkakke!

  7. HILARIOUS TYPO ALERT: The Pentagon wants veterans from the California National Guard to return entrollment bonuses it says were improperly paid a decade ago.

    “Entrollment” for the win.

    Also, fuck you, DOD.

    1. Well, if you ever dealt with a recruiter….

      1. Well-played, Switzy.

    2. Nothing like the DoD teasing citizens to sign up for war, some get killed, some get maimed and then demand those teasers back.

      Fuck W. Bush and Obama. Just fuck… them!

  8. The undersecretary of state for East Asian and Pacific affairs will meet with the foreign minister of the Philippines…

    That will show them how serious we are about the relationship.

  9. More on Freeland Pan Zagloba linked to the other say:

    http://news.nationalpost.com/f…..freeland-0

    “…The American panelists, intellectually marinated in First Amendment rights, understood that while it is wrong to defame any faith group collectively (like, say, “Muslim men hate women”), it is impossible under U.S. law to demonize an idea ( “Sharia law is misogynistic”). But Western progressives, splendidly represented by Freeland, no longer grasp the distinction.”

    Kay nails it in this article.

    1. other day

        1. Hey!

    2. Maher went on to blast multiculturalism: “this idea that somehow we do share values that all religions are alike is bullshit, and we need to call it bullshit.” That galvanized Freeland who “now more than ever” called for respect for “diversity,” because ? here’s where she lost the thread ? “we in Canada are not going to say Muslims are worse than Christians, or are worse than Jews, or worse than atheists.” Maher shot back, “Not as people, the ideas are worse.”

      You either believe in objective morality, or moral relativism. The “good people average” within groups is lower in some groups and higher in others. In Islam, the religion known to inspire it’s adherents to enslave, maim, mutilate, explode, kill their daughters and conquer the world by any means necessary, has a lower proportion of good people within it’s ranks than other religions. I think it’s perfectly fair to criticize Muslims for their beliefs and moral deficiencies just like I would criticize communists for their moral failings, even while bearing in mind that they believe what they’re doing is moral.

      1. You left out “mutilate their daughters”.

        Its funny, though, how we’re not supposed to generalize about religions (“Muslims R bad!”) except when we are (“Religion of peace!”).

  10. Duterte later called the U.S. the country’s “closest friend.”

    Someone got a call.

    1. From the Philippines Joint Staff?

      1. From whoever over there who cashes our foreign aid checks.

    2. “Sir, China’s got as many excess Unmarried Men as we’ve got people. We wouldn’t do well in a solo conflict.”

  11. There were more Johnson signs in my neighborhood this weekend – now on the lawns of some of the larger and nicer houses.

    1. Went to Durham, NC last week, saw a few Trump signs, one in front of a trailer with some homemade racist signs like “kill all militant blacks”, and a bunch of Johnson signs. Zero for Hillary.

      1. I saw a Hillary sign with Hillary crossed out.

        Resident & Trump 1- Hillary 0

      2. I haven’t seen much around downtown. Of course, they moved the board of elections from around the corner, so I don’t get as full a sampling.

        I have much permanent “Vote C’thulhu” sign on the door of my condo.

        I have yet to make my “Don’t blame me- I didn’t vote for Anthony Downs” button.

    2. My favorite billboard this weekend was for “Trump — sponsored by america’s deplorables”.

      1. I saw a Gary Johnson billboard in Hampton, VA. It was shocking.

        1. Just because they added tesla coils…

          1. Goddammit, where’s Swiss?

        2. You actually got off the interstate?

          1. No way, dude. It was one of those electronic billboards, a hundred feet high, right by 64.

            Protip: NEVER get off the interstate in Hampton. It is not a coincidence that Hampton contains the zip code 23666.

        3. I’ve been seeing a TON of Johnson billboards in Milwaukee. No other political billboards, as the powers that be no longer consider us a battleground state, so Clinton and Trump aren’t bothering to campaign here.

          They read “Johnson/Weld: PRESIDENTIAL” with the claim of GayJay being “presidential” accredited to some newsperson or something. I’d normally be tempted to make fun of the ads in how he’s basically saying he’s got the bare minimum requirements (being presidential) to be president, but based on the fact that his competition lacks those bare minimum requirements makes the statement kind of work.

          1. Johnson Weld 2016
            Make Al Zeppo Irrelevant Again

      2. Saw a couple that said ‘What difference does it make?’ with Hillary standing over three flag draped coffins.

    3. You didn’t get caught planting Johnson signs on your neighbor’s lawns?

    4. There are so many H> signs in my neighborhood that you become blind to them.

      So one neighbor took it upon herself to put up a large Hillary banner on her house, along with multiple (~10) signs visible from every angle. And I don’t think it’s an ironic Halloween decoration.

  12. Hillary Clinton running mate Tim Kaine says he’s not worried about Wikileaks targetting him.

    Well, he’s not all that smart. “Wikileaks? They ain’t gon’ be peeing on me none!”

    1. Speaking of the not-smart set, Rep. Sheila Jackson (Derp) got mixed up and accused Wikipedia of working for the Ruskies.
      http://www.washingtonexaminer……le/2605278

      1. Our rulers, ladies and gentlemen. [pounds entire fifth of bourbon]

      2. Be nice. She’s just trying to defend our 400-year-old Constitutional government.

      3. The story below that says that Herself and Trump are almost tied at 41 with Herself ahead by.1 of a point.

        Towards the end it admits thy sampled 292 Dims to 235 Rs with the rest undeciced or independent out of a total of 865.

        Them putting their thumb on the scale that heavily for Herself means their not really tied.

        1. A D-weighted sample with that result also indicates a lot of D’s are voting T.

          Which reminds me, I’m hearing a lot about the early voting returns being heavily in HRC’s favor because they’re running heavily D-registered voters, with no suggestion that they might not necessarily be voting for Hillary. (Nor any suggestion that early voters should be closely monitored to make sure they’re not planning to vote again in-person on Election Day. Like the snowbirds who winter in Florida and the college students away at school who are registered to vote both in their home counties and the county they’re temporarily residing in in another state where there’s no crosss-checking between states to catch dual-registered voters. Not that such a thing ever happens.)

          1. Which also reminds me of somebody pointing out one of the reasons the Dems are so opposed to Voter ID laws is that the most common form of ID is a driver’s license and the state DMV’s are actually linked where they can easily check to see if you have a driver’s license issued by another state. Kinda hard to register to vote in New York using a New Jersey driver’s license and vice versa, but you’re going to have a hard time getting both a NY and a NJ driver’s license at the same time.

      4. Sheila Jackson might just have the lowest IQ in Congress. Perhaps the lowest IQ of any Congress ever.

        1. Well she’s not afraid of Guam tipping over so she may ne one notch up the scale.

          She has an Ivy League degree, so there’s a knock on affirmative action surgeons.

  13. Sugarfree strikes again

    James Gilpin is a designer and researcher who works on the implementation of new biomedical technologies. He’s also got type 1 diabetes, where his body doesn’t produce enough insulin to regulate blood sugar levels.

    So he’s started a project which turns the sugar-rich urine of elderly diabetics into a high-end single malt whisky, suitable for export.

    The source material is acquired from elderly volunteers, including Gilpin’s own grandmother. The urine is purified in the same way as mains water is purified, with the sugar molecules removed and added to the mash stock to accelerate the whisky’s fermentation process. Traditionally, that sugar would be made from the starches in the mash.

    1. Meh. Commercial yeast nutrient used in fermentation is derived from cow urine.

    2. A sick solution in search of a problem.

    3. Also in urine news

      The German city of Ulm is desperate to stop men from relieving themselves on its famous church because persistent peeing is damaging the historic structure.

      Those responsible for conserving Ulm Minster, which has the world’s tallest church tower, say its stone base is being eroded by the salts and acids in the urine, Suedwest Presse reports. The city doubled fines for those caught to 100 euros ($110; ?90) earlier this year, but it has made little difference.

      “I’ve been keeping an eye on it for half a year now and, once again, it’s coated with urine and vomit,” says Michael Hilbert, head of the department that maintains the building. Mr Hilbert tells Suedwest Presse that he’s not the “Pinkelpolizei”, or “pee police”, but wants official action over the anti-social problem. “This is about preserving law and order,” he says.

      Ulm Minster’s steeple measures 161.53m (530ft), and the building is often referred to as a cathedral because of its sheer size. Its sandstone base recently underwent a costly restoration, Deutsche Welle notes.

      1. And also in urine history

        Accounts from the time don’t go into detail about where Brand got his raw material, or what his basement smelled like, or what the stepson thought of his new dad. But they do suggest that Brand stockpiled something like 1,500 gallons of urine. Then he set to work. One of the surviving accounts of the process begins:

        Take a good large Quantity of New-made Urine of Beer-drinkers and evaporate it gently to the consistency of honey.

        I’ll spare you the rest ? it involved lots of boiling and cooking and waiting.

        In the end, Brand’s persistence paid off. He didn’t make gold, but he did end up with a white, waxy substance that glowed in the dark. He had stumbled upon the element phosphorus. The name, appropriately, starts with “p.”

      2. They should have built a public urinal on the side of the building like on the Antwerp cathedral.

      3. There’s already a solution in use in Hamburg.

        http://dailycaller.com/2016/09…..on-trains/

        CB

      4. Get hydrophobic paint for the area. It’s the funniest method of solving public urination problems, as the stream of urine will bounce off the wall, and the would-be offender will just end up pissing on themselves.

    4. Refreshing.

    5. “Lee, please, old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.”

    6. Sounds like someone is making scotch.

      Bleh!

  14. The Pentagon wants veterans from the California National Guard to return entrollment bonuses it says were improperly paid a decade ago.

    The new ‘GI Bill’. Pay up soldier boy.

    1. Supplying your own shield and sword worked for the romans.

      1. Most of these were California – you can’t buy weapons there.

        1. That’s fine. I want them to lose anyways.

          1. Whoa. That might have came out wrong.

            1. *slaps on old kevlar helmet and readies to…*

              Oh, nevermind.

      2. Did their city-state’s allow them to own assault swords, or just a pugio?

        1. Oh, no, you can’t have something that easily concealable.

  15. The Cardinals and Seahawks committed a micro-aggression last night.

    1. I am thankful I fell asleep during…whatever that was.

      1. It was more a fascinated blank stare like Homer watching Twin Peaks.

    2. Both teams thought they were playing futbol, not football.

    3. There was more action on The Walking Dead.

      1. There was more action in Longtorso’s bedroom.

        1. That Suki doll is only one emergency patch away from a hull breach.

          1. “Capn’n, she kin nae take more o’ this!”

  16. The ACLU of New Jersey criticized a high school football pre-game ceremony honoring police officers, the military, and first responders for its underlying “frightening message.”

    In fairness it was because Snooki was scheduled to speak.

    1. *studio audience applause/laugh track*

  17. The moment a cop gave robbery suspect a ‘WWE-style kick to the head, breaking his jaw, and leaving him in hospital for three days’

    Hector Medina-Pena was arrested in May 2015 for an alleged robbery
    His federal lawsuit claims Allentown Officer Joseph M. Ianetta ‘performed what can only be described as a “WWE” style kick’
    Medina-Pena says he was hospitalized for a broken jaw and missing teeth
    Allentown city solicitor says Ianetta’s actions were ‘found to be appropriate under the circumstances’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-days.html
    There is a man who loves his job.

    1. ‘performed what can only be described as a “WWE” style kick’

      That is a terrible description, however I will assume the police officer drop-kicked him like Marty Jannetty circa 1991, which would be impressive.

      1. We all know that the undisputed master of the drop kick is James Tiberius Kirk.

    2. Allentown City Solicitor Susan Wild said in a statement: ‘Officer Iannetta is a 14 1/2 year veteran of the APD.

      ‘He has training far above and beyond the required training, is highly decorated for merit and bravery, and is himself an instructor and field training officer at the Police Academy and Commander of the Emergency Response Team.

      ‘The actions of Officer Iannetta have been thoroughly reviewed by command staff and the Solicitor’s Office and found to be appropriate under the circumstances.

      ‘We look forward to the evidence in this case demonstrating that his actions were appropriate.’

      It’s amazing how they’re always award winning cops, isn’t it?

      Anyways, they investigated themselves and found they’d done nothing wrong. Good kick, haters. h2h.

      1. It’s amazing how they’re always award winning cops, isn’t it?

        It’s almost as if they give out participation awards.

      2. It’s amazing how they’re always award winning cops, isn’t it?

        They get the awards by showing depraved indifference and extreme violence. So of course it make sense.

      3. We look forward to the evidence in this case demonstrating that his actions were appropriate.

        Erm, what? They declared it appropriate without any evidence?

    3. Reporter probably thinks WWE and MMA are the same thing.

      1. They’re the companies which manufacture assault weapons and pit bulls, right?

        1. No, they’re the main distributers in the latter case. The actual production is outsourced.

      2. Hey, maybe the cop came flying off the top of his cruiser to deliver the blow. You never know.

    4. Of all the WWE-style kicks I was imagining that was the most boring. At least he could have done it a few more times so JR could yell “he stomped a mudhole!”

    5. So the kick missed by a mile and the cop went diwn just to make it look good?

    6. The moment a cop gave robbery suspect a ‘WWE-style kick to the head, breaking his jaw

      If you’re doing it WWE-style, then actually breaking the guy’s jaw would be a botched spot. You’re only supposed to graze him and he falls down like he’s been shot.

  18. The Black Sea’s ‘dead zone’: Explorers accidentally find a graveyard of more than 40 Ottoman and Byzantine era shipwrecks

    The Black Sea Maritime Archaeology Project has been scouring the sea bed of the Black Sea
    The primary focus is to carry out geophysical surveys, but over 40 shipwrecks have also been found
    They are ‘astonishingly well preserved’ due to the lack of oxygen in the Black Sea’s ‘dead zone’
    The findings provide new information on the communities living on the Black Sea coast

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..recks.html
    Cool shit.

    1. That is really neat!

  19. Word of the Day: Demisexuality

    Demisexuality, for instance, is “a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond,” according to the Demisexuality Resource Center. They may “think of themselves as halfway between asexual and sexual,” Locker added.

    1. Isn’t that, like… normal for most people once they get past college age?

      1. It is a rape culture, Juvenile. Never forget.

      2. For that to be true that would mean at the age of 25-30 you transitioned to only being aroused by (wo)men you had a pre-existing emotional relationship with. Which would fairly destroy the porn industry, so I’m suspecting that no, that’s not most people past college age.

      3. If that were the case, porn wouldn’t be a thing.

    2. “Demisexuality Resource Center”

      Demisexuality Resource Center

      1. *raises voice*

        “There are dozens of us!”

      2. What are you doing this weekend honey?

        Well, I figured I’d head on down to the Demisexuality Resource Center and pick up some pamphlets on how to keep it up when I’m no longer emotionally invested in you.

        1. It’s called Viagra.

          1. It’s called tongue depressors and medical tape.

            /Somebody must be on one of them ‘Cadillac Plans’.

      3. We need a good, hard Black Death or Mongol invasion.

        1. I vote Grandfather Nurgle. Lets have a plague.

      4. You know, unless someone starts trying to force me to accommodate demisexuals (and I can’t even really think of what that could possibly involve), why the hell not?

        One of the great (and often simultaneously terrible) thing about the internet is that every kind of freak and weirdo can find similar people to interact with.

        1. The only accommodations I can see them reasonably needing would be from their partners, but if they realize they have low sex drive then they are well-advised to be upfront about that and not form romantic relationships with people who have normal or high sex drives.

          1. True. But everyone needs to make some accommodations for their partners.

          1. “Every trashcan has a lid”?

    3. And? Are these people oppressed? Thrown off buildings?

      Honestly, who gives a shit?

      1. They need you to give a shit. It’s essential to their identity, for some reason.

    4. “a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond”

      Mother’s Day cards just got really awkward.

      1. OTOH, that Valentine’s Day gift I bought at Victoria’s Secret for my sister just got less awkward.

    5. “I like sex, but not as much as other people. That needs its own special term and identity, right??”

    6. I’m going to put this on my profile on Tinder.

  20. Whoops! Suki Waterhouse gives a cheeky display as she has wardrobe malfunction in tiny skirt

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..skirt.html
    Wood. I mean would. I mean… never mind.

    1. She’s a model? I can’t even see the sinews in her neck.

      1. At first I thought she was quite attractive, but then I noticed there was no “thigh gap”. Hopefully the dry heaves end soon.

        1. I don’t understand. Am I to be turned off or on by the thigh gap?

          1. Actually, I’m not sure. Let me consult a snarky fashion magazine written by women and gay men.

          2. Re: straffinrun,

            Am I to be turned off or on by the thigh gap?

            Yes.

    2. She’s known as T D Waterhouse.

  21. The ACLU of New Jersey criticized a high school football pre-game ceremony honoring police officers, the military, and first responders for its underlying “frightening message.”

    I assume this means all other civil liberty issues have been resolved. NJ must be a paradise.

    1. “Law enforcement officers are sworn to protect the constitution, and it is a disservice to the students and players that an event that should focus on them, their families, and their communities is being used to send a message that people who express concerns about disparities in the criminal justice system are unwelcome, disloyal or unpatriotic,” the letter states”

      —-ACLU

      Apparently, it was organized as a response to BLM students doing various things during the Star Spangled Banner.

      If the ACLU thinks members of the police, the military, and first responders shouldn’t respond to people disrespecting the Star Spangled Banner with speech of their own, then I think that’s a frightening message.

    2. ” NJ must be a paradise.”

      A certain Coolio song comes to mind.

      1. You can’t have the hop if you don’t have the hip.

      2. We keep spending most our lives living in the guido’s paradise.

  22. “a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond,”

    AKA, “normal”

    A rapidly shrinking demographic, apparently.

      1. Lust is still an emotion, right?

        And who could look away from a good ole fashioned hate fuck?

  23. Imagery Monday: Rev. Jim Ignatowski playing charades. You can add Louie de Palma as his partner if you so desire.

    1. Did someone spike your morning syrup with something from Agile Cyborg’s stash?

      1. Tell me you didn’t play out some scene in your head!

        1. It did not.

          Especially since I failed to recognize the first name at all and don’t have a face for the second.

          I just figured you were high.

          1. O.M.G.!

            Someone please take over for me.

            I just can’t…

    2. Rufus, yesterday while driving on I-595 an elderly man driving a van with a Quebec license plate with a kayak strapped to the roof of his car nearly merged into the side of my car, causing me to slam on my brakes and nearly get rear ended. We’re going to have to start doing more than leaving dead animals at random houses in Quebec if this keeps up.

      1. Ha!

        You should have screamed, ‘mange la merde mon tabernak!’

  24. Some slight conflict of interest here in VA, Clinton ally gave $500K to wife of FBI agent on email probe:

    Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe, a longtime Clinton confidant, helped steer $675,000 to the election campaign of the wife of an FBI official who went on to lead the probe into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email system, according to a report.

    The political action committee of McAuliffe, the Clinton loyalist, gave $467,500 to the state Senate campaign of the wife of Andrew McCabe, who is now deputy director of the FBI, according to the Wall Street Journal.

    The report states Jill McCabe received an additional $207,788 from the Virginia Democratic Party, which is heavily influenced by McAuliffe.

    The money directed by McAuliffe began flowing two months after the FBI investigation into Clinton began in July 2015. Around that time, the candidate’s husband was promoted from running the Washington field office for the FBI to the No. 3 position at the bureau.

    I actually think it might be more related to his alleged investigation than hers.

    1. McAuliffe is a corruption scandal waiting to happen.

      1. Don’t blame me, i voted for Sarvis.

        1. A vote for Sarvis was a vote for McAuliffe. or maybe it was the opposite, it’s been a while.

      2. It’s kind of surprising he hasn’t been indicted yet. He’s probably reticent to do too much because the Washington Post really doesn’t like him and neither do the voting public he won simply because he was a D and the R’s pulled funding two weeks before a gov. race that they only lost by a point or two. The Washington Posts endorsement of him is one of the more hilarious pieces you’ll ever read, yeah he’s a scumbag but team.

        1. Of course, the Rs thought it would be great to run fucking Cuccinelli right after the whole invasive ultrasound thing. In his own commercials, even Cuccinelli looked nervous at the prospect of a Cuccinelli governorship.

          1. The Virginia GOP has a long and storied history of running shitty candidates for governor. I thought they had broken their streak with McDonnell, but I was just slightly wrong.

            1. Stupid Party gonna party stupidly.

            2. McDonnell wasn’t so bad. He didn’t really do anything, which is the best we can hope for at this point.

              1. Eventually, on appeal, the courts decided he didn’t do anything either. So he’s got that going for him, which is nice.

          2. Yeah it was pretty godawful election. I think after the McDonald conviction McAuliffe may have been just as nervous to be Gov.

  25. Pirate party in Iceland ready to take over.

    Its members are a collection of anarchists, hackers, libertarians and Web geeks. It sets policy through online polls ? and thinks the government should do the same. It wants to make Iceland “a Switzerland of bits,” free of digital snooping. It has offered Edward Snowden a new place to call home.

    1. It sets policy through online polls ? and thinks the government should do the same.

      Great. Just great.

      1. +1 Grumpycat, Minister of Defense

        1. *stands to begin prolonged ovation*

      2. Hold on there, cowboy. As awful as direct democracy is, dismissing this out of hand is a bit rash. “Do you think both Trump and Hillary should be set a float on an iceberg?” type question might yield a satisfactory result.

        1. If they offered us the iceberg and the means I would welcome our new Nordic overlords.

          1. These masturbation euphemisms are getting pretty abstract.

      3. Something something danger zone. Yeah. Seriously, it’s Iceland. ICELAND. What could possibly go wrong?

    2. I wanted to vote for them up here but they didn’t run someone in my riding.

      I’d take them any day over the emotional nincompoop in power at the moment.

  26. Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe, a longtime Clinton confidant, helped steer $675,000 to the election campaign of the wife of an FBI official who went on to lead the probe into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email system, according to a report.

    Fake scandal, meaningless coincidence, et c, et c.

    1. The money went to the wife, not the agent, so no problem.

      /Democrat logic when referring to Bill’s speaking fees or honorariums from private universities receiving grants from HRC

      1. And if when she takes office they’ll hand the foundation off to Chelsea. No chance for corruption!

    2. Plus, why are we nattering on about this when somebody else called a beauty queen “fat?”

      1. Someone called a beauty queen fat?!?!?!?!?!?!?

          1. It would be hilarious if the good people of Crystal River or Homosassa decided to have a beauty contest and crown the winner “Miss Manatee.”

            1. John will be in his bunk.

  27. “Gary Johnson could win New Mexico.”

    Gotta love it when the writers SF the links

    1. It’s now called “Ken Shultzing” the link.

  28. A casino tour bus crashed with a big rig in California, killing at least 13 people and injuring more than 30 more.

    I guess those riders came up snake eyes.

    1. Delete your account.

    2. Derptastic Divarant

    3. “Nobody needs an assault bus with more than seven seats!”

  29. Further evidence that the upcoming election is fixed:

    “The political organization of Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe, an influential Democrat with longstanding ties to Bill and Hillary Clinton, gave nearly $500,000 to the election campaign of the wife of an official at the Federal Bureau of Investigation who later helped oversee the investigation into Mrs. Clinton’s email use.

    Campaign finance records show Mr. McAuliffe’s political-action committee donated $467,500 to the 2015 state Senate campaign of Dr. Jill McCabe, who is married to Andrew McCabe, now the deputy director of the FBI.”

    —-Wall Street Journal

    http://www.wsj.com/articles/cl…..1477266114

    Of course, if the Director of the FBI, James Comey, giving Clinton’s cronies full immunity and destroying their laptops for them so that none of them would face a trial in an election year isn’t fixing the election, then how could Clinton’s cronies paying off the investigator’s wife make any difference?

    1. They certainly wanted to cover all bases but, in the end, the money was misspent – El Trumpo’s fate was sealed the very moment he knitted together the words “Mexican”, “rapists” and “wall”, letting everyone who would be on the fence, but leaning towards the GOP, know that he’s completely insane.

      1. When the GOP sends its candidates, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending lunatics that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing semi-coherent stumbling rants. They’re bringing pussy-grabbing. They’re feckless. And some, I assume, are good people.

      2. The primary reason Trump is walloping Hillary is because he said the words “grab” and “pussy” 11 years ago.

        1. Reverse [Trump] and [Hillary] there.\

          The primary reason Hillary is walloping Trump . . .

          You know what I’m sayin’!

  30. Vladimir Putin isn’t a threat to the rights and liberties of the Russian people because he ignores the rule of law.

    Vladimir is a threat to the rights and liberties of the Russian people because he ignores the rule of law–and maintains his legitimacy anyway.

    There is no immediate threat to our rights and liberties greater than Hillary Clinton becoming the President of the United States despite ignoring the rule of law.

    That’s how the rule of law is undermined.

    When strongmen (and strongwomen) maintain their legitimacy despite flouting the rule of law, that’s how average people lose faith in the rule of law and gain faith in strongmen.

    1. Just imagine if Vlad had lady parts – he wouldn’t have had to take that hiatus and put a puppet in charge for a few years.

  31. “A 72-year-old retired soldier in Japan blew himself up in a local park, leaving a suicide note and injuring three. Two other explosions occurred nearby.”

    Is everyone too PC to say it?? Radical Shinto strikes again!!

    1. What was the bomber’s statement? Was he actually Shinto? This might have been a Zen protest.

      1. +1 Rage Against the Machine album cover

  32. It sets policy through online polls ? and thinks the government should do the same.

    “How much do you think other people should pay their employees?”

  33. The undersecretary of state for East Asian and Pacific affairs will meet with the foreign minister of the Philippines after the Philippines president, Rodrigo Duterte, announced a “separation” from the United States. Duterte later called the U.S. the country’s “closest friend.”

    This is like a game of Civilization.

    1. Except without the threat of being nuked by Gandhi.

      1. Gandhi will overrun you with his war elephants long before anyone has nukes, if you don’t take him out early. That fucking guy.

      2. Unless you’re Pakistan and then there is a very real chance than you could get nuked by India

        1. My wife likes to point out that provoking a nuclear-armed nation of people who believe in reincarnation is really, really dumb.

  34. Kurdish commanders say their forces are within 5 miles of Mosul.

    Well, that should put the Arab Iraqi’s panties in a collective bundle. Can’t let those Kurds get that close…

    1. And, as predicted, the Turks are trying to wipe them out, using the civil war as cover.

      Obama and Kerry are cool with it, though.

  35. Got around to listening to the latest Fifth Column this weekend. The panel expressed some affection for the H&R commenters. I say you’ve all gone soft.

    1. Welch didn’t name names but he specifically called out Crusty’s mancrush on Kmele Foster, describing it as “unseemly.”

      1. Kmele is like listening to felt polishing a bottle of fine single-malt.

        Welch and Moynihan, on the other hand, sound like a two-man D&D game.

        1. (I had a good chuckle at the “Please don’t text my private phone” bit from a couple weeks ago.)

        2. Now i’m picturing Welch and Moynihan arguing over who gets to be DM for like an hour, until Welch’s mom comes home and makes him do chores.

  36. ?The Pentagon wants veterans from the California National Guard to return entrollment bonuses it says were improperly paid a decade ago.

    Can I get a bonus for entrolling?

    1. The good news is they still get to keep all of the TA50 they ETSed with.

  37. As soon as the Kurdish forces are in Mosul, they will get to work driving out the “Iraqi” army.

  38. Gary Johnson could win New Mexico.

    Not to be a downer, but that link unimpressive at best. It mentions the 24% Johnson got in one poll, which was taken about a month ago and was a good ten percentage points higher than almost every other poll done in the state. It also incorrectly says New Mexico has seven electoral votes, when the actual number is five. Which brings me to a depressing fact. Even if Johnson wins New Mexico and somehow neither Trump nor Clinton gets 270 EVs, McMullin could still win Utah, which has 6 EVs, and be the third place finisher for a House selection. So, yeah, boo.

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