Energy Drinks

Monster Win Is Good For Energy Drink Makers and Consumers

Is the foolish campaign against energy drinks fizzling out?

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Monster drinks
Austin Kirk / CC/SA

July has been a bad month for those leading the foolhardy charge against energy drinks.

Earlier this month saw the quiet but welcome dismissal of a set of lawsuits against Monster, the maker of popular energy drinks. The suits, filed earlier this year by Morgan & Morgan, a Florida-based law firm, claimed just two cans of Monster could be deadly.

"When the Monster lawsuit started earlier in 2016, the law firm Morgan & Morgan claimed two 16-ounce cans of Monster Energy contained a 'lethal dose' of caffeine and that 'overconsumption of energy drinks has led to heart attacks, strokes and even death,'" reported the news website Inquistr this week. "The Florida-based personal injury law firm has now asked the courts to dismiss their lawsuits."

The news is particularly noteworthy because the media loudly trumpeted the purported dangers of energy drinks in the wake of the lawsuits. A Daily Beast piece on the lawsuits, typical of the tone of some reports, described the lawsuits' target under an ominous (and false) heading: "death juice."

Most reports on the lawsuit's withdrawal, when they have appeared, have been of the demure, three-sentence variety. Ominous-sounding lawsuits make for good headlines. Dismissals no so much.

As part of its campaign against Monster, Morgan & Morgan had launched a website seeking potential plaintiffs to challenge the energy-drink maker.

"If you or someone you know has experienced heart problems, seizures, an irregular heartbeat, kidney failure, or any other adverse effects after drinking Monster Energy drinks," the firm's EnergyDrinksLawsuit.com website advertises, "you may be entitled to compensation."

Maybe not.

"The voluntary dismissal of these lawsuits, we believe, speaks volumes," Marc P. Miles of Shook, Hardy & Bacon, counsel for Monster Energy Company, said in a company press release. "We believe fairness dictates that the media now write about the dismissals."

In addition to the demise of the Morgan & Morgan litigation targeting energy drinks, fairness suggests the need to cite the rising tide of research demonstrating that energy drinks aren't the threat many critics claim. In an excellent Food Safety News piece on the dismissal of the lawsuits, Dan Flynn points to a recent peer-reviewed study by University of Texas-Austin researchers, which, in the words of the study authors, concluded that the impact of "consumption of a commercially available energy drink…. was similar to the effect of coffee and water consumption."

Nothing to see here. Move on.

But the news isn't all rosy for energy-drink makers and consumers. The lawsuit was just the latest threat against energy-drink makers. An effort by a Chicago city councilman to ban energy drinks failed several years ago, a story I detailed here. And the recent dismissal of the case against Monster doesn't spell the end of litigation over energy drinks, as other lawsuits are ongoing. Monster is still embroiled in at least one caffeine-related lawsuit with the city of San Francisco. A class-action lawsuit in California, while recently scaled back by a federal court, is still proceeding. A lawsuit involving Monster and the New York State attorney general is also pending.

These lawsuits take place against an ominous backdrop, as the FDA has spent several years quietly "investigating 'any and all products with added caffeine" since I first wrote those words in 2013. The good news? That investigation hasn't singled out energy-drink makers. The bad news? It's targeting all foods and beverages that contain added caffeine—from caffeinated gum and beef jerky to sodas and energy drinks.

The FDA's ongoing investigation raises the specter of the agency's campaign against Four Loko and similar caffeinated beers, which resulted in the agency banning the direct addition of caffeine to alcohol beverages in 2010.

Targeting energy drinks and energy-drink consumers has been a cottage industry. With any luck, the recent dismissal of lawsuits against Monster and the publication of new peer-reviewed research are harbingers that this is a cottage industry that is running out of energy.

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459 responses to “Monster Win Is Good For Energy Drink Makers and Consumers

  1. I plan to aerosolize energy drinks so that kids can vape them. I’ll do this through shell corporations and then sue myself for huge profits.

    Monster should buy part of a news organization or at the very least pay for sponsored content to get some good press on their litigation victories. Journalists aren’t going to fix the record on their own. Sensationalism and nannyism is their bread and butter, not information.

    1. How come no one is sueing bleach manufacturers? Bleach is much deadlier than Monster.

      1. WELL THEN STOP DRINKING IT FOR PETE’S SAKE

        1. But it keeps whispering “drink me, drink me, drink me.” Only a lawsuit can stop the nudging voices.

      2. I am wondering what the swimmers who will compete in the Rio Olympics think about drinking bleach, or at least taking a mouthful of it.

        Swimming pools used to be disinfected with bleached water at about 3.5 to 4.0 ppm. Modern disinfection is more nuanced. Your municipal drinking water is at about 0.08 to 1.2 ppm free CL2 and swimming pools add a brine solution to the mix.

        I, for one, would want to taste that sweet chlorine loud and clear.

        1. “I’m the only person crude enough to pee in the pool- and it’s my pee.” Why worry? :o)

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  2. Hey let’s take our kids to the state fair so the cops can scare the shit out of them

    http://nbc4i.com/2016/07/29/st…..tate-fair/

    1. If I had children I would teach them that there is just as much danger with cops then there is with human trafficking. And I wonder how many of these Ohio truckers against trafficking when on a long haul run pay truck lot whores for sex.

      1. If I had children I would teach them that there is just as much danger with cops then there is with human trafficking.

        I held my tongue at a neighborhood festival thing the other day when a cop came up and gave my three year old a “junior officer” badge sticker. But I was proud a few minutes later when my daughter tore it off, folded it in half and handed it to me, saying “Dad, I don’t like this kind of sticker.”

        1. I commend you on being able to hold your tongue, I don’t know if I would have been able to. More parents should emulate your parenting.

        2. Does that mean she gets to beat up her friends and then get a vacation from nursery school?

          1. She’s not getting paid… LOL

      2. If Truckers Against Trafficking pay whores for sex, would that be tit for TAT?

        1. Narrows gaze for swiss

          1. Thank you, JB.

            I will be back Monday or Tuesday. I would really rather not talk about this past week, other than to say there is a limit to how much Ricola one can fit into a “Souvenir” Alpenhorn before ICE gets a bit suspicious.

            1. These euphemisms are getting international.

        2. Old Dennis Miller joke: Two questions: what is tat, and where do I exchange it for that other thing?

      3. I’m sure they all ask “Are you doing this of your own free will?? Or are you being trafficked?” And then take the appropriate action.

    2. “It’s hiding everywhere. Every corner. It’s spooky,” said Todd Brown.

      Backwards satanic lyrics!

  3. I have a friend who drinks 2-3 tall boys of NOS everyday. She’s doing great, still alive and she’s been doing it for years. I wish the nanny state screw off.

    1. Is it the same 2-3 tall boys each day, or is she a slut?

      1. Not a slut, just enjoys her energy drinks lol

        1. I’m making my second pot of Barry’s Breakfast Tea this a.m., which I drink while watching the Sunday babblefests. I practically have the stuff on an IV drip. I let it steep a good long time, as I like my tea strong. You get more caffeine that way. It’s half the caffeine of Monster per fl oz, but I probably drink twice as much per day by volume. Coffee has more caffeine than tea. I would suppose many reasonoids guzzle similar caffeine amounts via java, cola, Mt Dew, eating chocolate, etc.

          Tea and chocolate provide anti-oxidants. Westerners have been using infusions of camellia sinensis for over 400 years, about the same for the brewing of the ground coffea bean. I’d wager the health benefits of both drinks, not to mention the extra safety from alertness, outweigh any purported health worries. Let consumers decide for themselves.

  4. Bets on rehire with backpay?

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/29/…..index.html

    1. Nah, but Albuquerque PD is always hiring assholes

  5. claimed two 16-ounce cans of Monster Energy contained a ‘lethal dose’ of caffeine and that ‘overconsumption of energy drinks has led to heart attacks, strokes and even death

    If that were true then half the Navy would have died over the last 10 years. I’m pretty sure the percentages for the other services would be similar or higher.

    1. I know a bartender who may weigh 90 pounds soaking wet and she pounds energy drinks all day on a double shift.

      1. ‘I know a bartender who may weigh 90 pounds soaking wet and she pounds..’
        Go on…

        ‘ …energy drinks all day on a double shift.’
        Oh, never mind.

        1. She’s a hottie.

        2. He should have put a semicolon after “pounds.”

          1. He should have put a semicolon after “pounds.”

            I know a bartender who may weigh 90 pounds; soaking wet

            Doesn’t really work.

            1. Smartass

              1. Any female who serves me a drink from behind the bar is a barmaid. Might be tough to switch in a new beer keg if you only weigh 90 lbs. Mad props if she can do that.

    2. The E4 mafia and Lance Corporal underground would be virtually non-existent, save for the platoon’s obligitory Mormon.

    3. Ripit or GTFO

  6. OT: Cost to maintain Afghan military vehicles skyrocketed because of Pentagon mistakes, report says

    dozens of unanticipated expenses ? incurred largely because the company the Defense Department hired for the job repeatedly violated the terms of its contract but was not required to compensate the government ? will be borne by American taxpayers.

    They will pay more than $1 billion over the next five years to take care of Afghan National Army vehicles, the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction said in a new report.

    John F. Sopko’s investigators also discovered that payments to the contractor for repairs skyrocketed to $51,395 per vehicle last year from $1,889 in 2011. That’s because under the contract, the federal government was required to pay based on the total number of vehicles in the fleet, not the number that were repaired.

    1. I don’t understand why people don’t want the government in charge of the economy.

      1. Well, federal contractors obviously do.

        1. No, privatization is the problem! If they were all permanent government employees, working for the common good, everything would be fine!

          1. The big difference is that if it were government employees it would cost 10 times more and they would still be waiting on the repairs to be done.

            1. I once tried to convince a leftist that privatization meant that failures could be punished by firing, while government employees could not be fired, but he simply ignored that point.

  7. I remember the stories of people dying mostly leaving out what else they were doing. Like running a marathon while severely dehydrated or falling out of a car.

  8. I get the impression that Eric Schneiderman was born a cunt after his mother what him out her asshole.

  9. Computer Systems Used by Clinton Campaign Are Said to Be Hacked, Apparently by Russians

    If the Feds had evidence this was true would they really go about disclosing it anonymously to reporters?

    a spokeswoman for the congressional committee, said that after it discovered the breach, “we immediately took action and engaged with CrowdStrike, a leading forensic investigator, to assist us in addressing this incident.”

    The attack on the congressional committee’s system appears to have come from an entity known as “Fancy Bear,” which is connected to the G.R.U., the Russian military intelligence service, according to an official involved in the forensic investigation.

    1. Fuck. If only Trump hadn’t encouraged the Russians to do it, the traitor.

    2. The Russians or someone got caught with gay porn?

    3. “Fancy Bear,”

      Any relation to Dancing Bear?

      1. APT 69, HELICOPTER DICK

        1. “A bunch of uggos and one or two hot chicks, plus an extra you really wish was wearing the magic wristband” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, unfortunately.

    4. So, Fancy Bear the Russian spying ring, not Fancy Bear the upscale gay bar. How do we know they’re not the same thing? We’re through the looking glass here.

  10. I lost interest in the energy drink brouhaha when they got sparks. A can fit perfectly in a bar mixer. Turns out im not appreciably worse at cooking things when I’m drunk.

  11. ASU biochemist invents a more comfortable condom

    Although condoms prevent unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, “around the world only 5 percent of men wear them,” the New York Times reported in 2013.

    About 15 percent of women ages 15 to 44 use condoms, according to a National Center for Health Statistics report last November.

    1. Since those numbers are obviously 100% accurate, I can only surmise that either women are 3x as likely to lie about using condoms, or men are banging 45+ women ungloved willy-nilly, or teh gheyz are somehow skewing things.

      1. Apparently the sqrls don’t believe in condoms either

        1. Obviously, look at their reproductive rate!

      2. There are cultures that encourage post-menopausal women to engage in promiscuous sex. So, yes, that may well be the case.

    2. Since those numbers are obviously 100% accurate, I can only surmise that either women are 3x as likely to lie about using condoms, or men are banging 45+ women ungloved willy-nilly, or teh gheyz are somehow skewing things.

    3. ‘About 15 percent of women ages 15 to 44 use condoms,…’
      What?

      1. The New York Times is a worldwide report, and the National Center for Health Statistics is an American report.

      2. ‘… in the experience of this writer.’

        1. Oh, no condom? I guess it’s no bang bang for you tonight. Night night.

          1. No glove, no love!

    4. Women don’t use condoms. A condom goes on a pennis. Women may insist that their partner use a condom, but the woman, herself, doesn’t use a condom.
      (/pedantic)

      1. That depends on what a “woman” is though…

      2. http://www.avert.org/sex-stis/…..le-condoms

        You are…not correct sir.

    5. “Everything at the beginning is hard, and I think … I think the market is big.”

      Ah, a fellow traveler.

  12. It’s targeting all foods and beverages that contain added caffeine?from caffeinated gum and beef jerky to sodas and energy drinks.

    They are going to have to pry my Mountain Dew out of my cold, dead hands.

    1. Well more like cold, dead, violently twitching hands

      1. The vodka seems to counteract any shaking.

        1. Ya until you dry out…

          1. It’s a delicate balance but thankfully I have a lot of practice.

          1. If you take any more of those, you will get an overdose…

    2. The only difference I can tell is that energy drinks come with taurine (as well as caffeine) which helps with electrolyte balance and hydration. Most coffee contains more caffeine.

    1. Haha! I’ll take a Rawberry. I’ll be able to run faster than a Kenyan lol.

      1. Kenyans. The reason they are the best in the world is because there is nothing else to do in Kenya except running.

        1. Perhaps its evolution, a pack of hyenas yipping at your arse would make you run.

  13. OT: Today in only-white-people-carry-ID news

    the 2013 law violated the Constitution and the federal Voting Rights Act by targeting black voters “with almost surgical precision.”

    1. “Photo IDs are required to purchase Sudafed, cash a check, board an airplane or enter a federal court room.”

      See?! Except for the “board an airplane” part, targeting blacks “with almost surgical precision”!

      1. Speaking of… I’m not comfortable with someone supporting voter ID by listing a bunch of other stuff that should NOT require an ID.

        1. Of course. But that just shows how insane our laws have become, and how dishonest hack judges are.

    2. I wonder if those judges were Obama appointees. I remember such judges on the D.C. Circuit who attacked the character of the plaintiffs seeking to overturn Obamacare. They really are shills for the Democratic Party.

      1. Only 2 of them were Obama appointees. The other was appointed by Clinton.

    3. Oh cool, I suppose that means that they’ll be eliminating all restrictions on buying a gun, too. Because, after all, if checking ID excludes black people from voting with “surgical precision”, they’re surely excluded from buying a gun, which, even in the most permissive states, requires not only an ID but also a background check.

      How can they possibly be OK with systematically denying black people their Second Amendment rights?

      1. We could only hope. But still, as pointed out above, using something that should not require ID in the first place is not a good argument for requiring ID in another.

  14. claimed two 16-ounce cans of Monster Energy contained a ‘lethal dose’ of caffeine

    Case dismissed.

    *** pounds gavel, drinks cup of coffee ***

  15. A Daily Beast piece on the lawsuits, typical of the tone of some reports, described the lawsuits’ target under an ominous (and false) heading: “death juice.”

    In other “death juice” news:

    Rio 2016: Athletes warned to keep mouths closed while in faeces-infested water

    1. What with this, the dead body floating in the sailing competition area, the dismembered human body parts on the volleyball beach, the Olympians’ village with raw sewage gushing through the streets, I’m just wondering how many athletes are looking at this and saying, “Nope.”

      1. “I refuse to dignify this venue with my participation.”

      2. You’d think so. But, for most of them, this is their one and only chance. They’ve been training to peak right now, and in four years, many will be part their prime competing age. Naw, they’re all going.

        1. Well, except for the Russians.

          1. Yeah, I’ll bet the Russian athletes are pissed. Ha ha

        2. Not the golfers.

        3. Lebron said nyet.

    2. ‘Death Juice’ mmmmmm.
      I wonder if anyone will market it?

  16. This article shows why Democrats need culture wars.

    TL;DR version – The Democratic Party is run by rich folks who game the system for their benefit. Their “base” voters – blacks, single women, etc. – are basically dupes who have to be rallied every election cycle around a fear of the “other” – “bigoted” Republicans. Grievances must be found so the clients will vote their resentments and keep the rich Democrats’ snouts in the trough.

    1. The article found half of a truth. The Republicans are just as happy to whip their base into a foaming froth of fear at The Other to maximize their power and ability to skim the cream off our economy. To wit: Gingrich and his welfare queens and teen parents destroying society as we know it, every Republican politician who pounded a pulpit about how gays getting married would destroy the family and the concept of marriage itself. The drug war is one long history of fomenting fear (they’ll do reefer and knock up your daughter and that leads to home invasions and bath salts and then they EAT YOUR FACE). All for some politician’s gain.

      Trump – we will build a wall and make Mexico pay for it, deport Muslims, brown foreigners steal our jobs but we’re going to take them back with a trade war. Trump has this game down pat.

      Fear is the mind-killer, and it’s a central tenant of politics for exactly that reason. Stop thinking, there’s no time to think in this emergency! Be afraid and vote for me.

      They all do it, brah. I suspect because they don’t have any solutions, they’re just hoping to scramble to the top of the heap before it all explodes in the worlds’ face.

      1. Very, uh, Agile Cyborg.

          1. To be fair, plenty of Dems beat the “Drugs are bad, m’kay?” drum, too.

      2. I would say this is similar to an aspect of the stupid party/evil party quip. It doesn’t mean there aren’t evil/stupid people in the “wrong” parties, but that it counters expectations.

        Lots of people expect your examples of behavior from the Republican party, but the Democrats are supposed to be inclusive and loving.

        1. Lots of people expect your examples of behavior from the Republican party…

          If I’m following your line of thought correctly here, I’d add that people have all sorts of trouble seeing when they’re in the wrong.

          The lots of people who would expect this from the Republican party are, almost always, not Republicans. The people who had the most to learn from Eddie’s article, and thus the most need to read it, are Democrats. To us, that article was preaching to the choir.

          One has to be completely outside of the D vs. R circle in order to see both sides of it.

          Seeing where someone else made a mistake is easy. Finding our own is a Herculean feat of skill and effort which most people will fail at, most of the time. A Democrat would benefit the most from the insights in the article, and they are the very least likely to see those insights. That would require the ability to see where one might have made a mistake.

          True liberality in the conversation that is public life requires a spirit of humility before God, which is quite different from a humility that stems from relativism or the conviction that there are not moral truths to be loyal to. It also requires a willingness to be surprised, even to the point of being converted.

          So close.

          It continues so long as the default assumption in everyone’s mind is, “I am a good person. Ergo, this all must be someone else’s fault.”

          1. First, thank you for your reply. I think this wins the award for longest reply to me anywhere on the internet. In keeping with the spirit of your reply, I do blame this on my unique blend of pedantism, obscurity and obtuseness.

            Unfortunately, choir practice is popular. I find some of it understandable. I am not always ready for a fight, but need some supporting evidence that I am not alone.

            A consequent problem, when surrounded by exclusive choirs, is how to find a place to engage the other while not being turned off by insularity. I have been thinking of this problem recently. At least in a direct connection context (ie IRC), one might measure your current openness and aggression (amongst others). Then matching those results with others, with similar scores, might be sufficient to allow people to choose the amount of challenge or support as needed.

            1. What an absolutely fascinating concept. I hope to see it in action one day.

              I should think that the biggest hurdle to overcome is that communication is an imprecise art form badly in need of an evolution. The (assumed) apocryphal story of the Tower of Babel holds more truth than we think. Even people who speak the same language, don’t really speak the same language.

              SO many examples for this, we’re spoiled for choice. I’ve laughed myself silly reading HyR until my nearest and dearest demanded to know the joke. They rarely get what made it so funny. And then the same comment was later understood a different way to another member of the commentariat, who perhaps decided it was serious, or offensive in some manner.

              Everyone involved spoke English. Whether one found it funny, unremarkable, serious or offensive seemed to depend not just on the words communicated, but on the ideas, cultural commonalities, and idiosyncratic assumptions of the listener.

              If you could find a way to overcome this, it would be an amazingly useful tool. A program which would identify your own hostility or openness could be key to highlighting to each user their problematic communication, since we have such a hard time seeing it ourselves.

              Sarcasm font. I’m telling ya. The internet would sing your praises, man.

              1. There exist attempts to solve this problem (among others). Here is one.

    2. I thought the article was pretty dumb.

      The Democratic Party is run by rich folks who game the system for their benefit. Their “base” voters – blacks, single women, etc. – are basically dupes who have to be rallied every election cycle around a fear of the “other”

      A high/low coalition against the middle. That’s the only way a status game with three tiers and two sides can shake out. Historically, there’s absolutely nothing unusual about it.

      Grievances must be found so the clients will vote their resentments

      Grievances are found to reconcile reality with assumptions. If blacks do less well academically, it has to be the whites’ faults. Cosmotarians, ie Marxist heretics, have similar assumptions but different wreckers. Robby Soave once said something like “Government has proven incapable of running inner city schools.” IOW government can do schools okay, as long as they’re not in close proximity to tall buildings. Is that any more sane than “systemic racism”?

      1. See, the tall building block out the sun, which makes it harder to get kids to see the light.

  17. Is this a libertarian moment?

    When I was a young man right out of school, I would sit in my backyard, drinking a beer, never dreaming of what libertarian moments awaited me.

    There was no DHS, no TSA, no secret lists.

    Puppycide was not a thing and you never heard of cops breaking into the wrong house at 4am and terrorizing families, burning little kids up with flash bang grenades. The police were not militarized at all and in general, you weren’t afraid of them.

    The 2nd amendment was not a thing up for discussion. Everyone I knew owned a gun and no one was concerned about that.

    I could go on, and on, and no. But I won’t. I’ll just say this. There is NO.FUCKING.LIBERTARIAN.MOMENT. SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP.

    1. Hyperion remembers…

      1. Now I feel like eating a cookie.

      2. …. but not too well. New York’s version of SWAT, ESU, dates to 1959, with a precursor, the WWI era “Riot Battalion.” I had a cousin on the NYPD “tactical squad” in the late 1960s. LAPD SWAT, immortalized in the 1975 TV series, started in the late 1960s.

        If you drank that beer on your front stoop, rather than in your back yard, cops would hassle you for an “open container” violation. The militarization of police has spread from the largest of our cities to much smaller municipalities, I’ll give Hype that, and the gear they use has become scarier and deadlier, but this trend is decades old.

    2. I was there, but that is only partly true. Some of that was going on albeit less than now, but we were blissfully ignorant of it.

      Still, I would take that over what we have now.

    3. We do have libertarian moments; they’re just overwhelmed by all the statist hours.

      1. Yes, there are many libertarian moments. The problem is that capital, and any form of the structure of production, takes a long time. Therefore, temporary autonomous zones will not lead to salvation. This is also why I don’t believe in technological salvation, like bitcoins or 3D printing. If you are not free to raise capital for whatever peaceful project you want, you are not really free.

    4. Preach it, Hyperion. How anyone can fail to see that the Total State has grown and colonized more and more of society is a mystery to me.

    1. The righteous will rejoice when he sees the vengeance; He will wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
      Psalm 58:10

      1. Here you go.

        Comment: “A lament expressing trust in God’s power to dethrone all powers obstructing divine rule of the world. First condemned are “the gods,” the powers that were popularly imagined to control human destinies (Ps 58:2?3), then “the wicked,” the human instruments of these forces (Ps 58:4?6). The psalmist prays God to prevent them from harming the just (Ps 58:7?10). The manifestation of justice will gladden the just; they will see that their God is with them (Ps 58:11). The Psalm is less concerned with personal vengeance than with public vindication of God’s justice now.”

        1. Great, Fusionist. Combat pre-medieval religious zealotry with more of the same. I’m no believer, which is probably why, while I decry the murder of “the good father,”* I don’t think resorting to scripture is the answer to our problems.

          Frank Meyer, the great libertarian/conservative fusionist, converted to Catholicism shortly before he died. One of your heroes?

          *See Matt 23:9:

          You must call no one on earth your father, since you have only one Father, and he is in heaven.

          Kevin R – [The “devil” quoting scripture…. 🙂 ]

      2. There really needs to be a page on the internet of ‘Bible quotes that would make sick-ass metal songs.”

        “By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion. There on the poplars
        we hung our harps for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy;
        they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!…

        Remember, Lord, what the Edomites did on the day Jerusalem fell. “Tear it down,” they cried, “tear it down to its foundations!” Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is the one who repays you according to what you have done to us. Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”

        *Awesome guitar solo*

        1. “What are the little ones of Babylon? Evil desires at their birth. For there are, who have to fight with inveterate lusts. When lust is born, before evil habit gives it strength against you, when lust is little, by no means let it gain the strength of evil habit; when it is little, dash it. But you fear, lest though dashed it die not; Dash it against the Rock; and that Rock is Christ.” – Saint Augustine

          1. Nothing like a man recontextualizing a passage a millennia after its written to prop up his religious beliefs rather than accept that it was clearly written in a time of understandable anger and angst by the Israelites at the loss of their nation hmm? But let’s just ignore all that annoying things like ‘historical context’ and ‘the passage’s actual meaning in Hebrew’. What do those centuries of rabbinic commentaries know anyway?

            1. I don’t think it’s either/or. There’s nothing to stop a passage from having mutliple levels of meaning. That was one of St. Augustine’s points in his commentaries.

          1. “Uh oh, the music critics are here, how do we bamboozle them so they won’t know we forgot to rehearse?”

      3. 7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
        7:17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
        7:18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
        7:19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
        7:20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

        1. Jesus built my hotrod. Psalm 69

          1. When did H&R become a Stryper message board?

  18. Looking for a good criminal defense attorney for Fayetteville / Cumberland county in NC. If anyone has a friend or suggestions it would be appreciated.

    1. Whoever you choose, don’t trust your soul to a backwoods Southern lawyer.

      1. Cause the judge in the town’s got bloodstains on his hands

    2. What did you do this time?

      /apologies if that offended you

      1. I’m offended by your inoffensiveness. Just be a dick like the rest of us.

        1. Fuck you, I’m a really nice person.

    3. Is Matlock still practicing? Because that guy has something like a 99% win rate.

    1. “Peace through superior firepower”

      Trust you are doing OK with the Pig Latin and in general, D.

    2. Aha a fellow liveleaker. It’s way better than YouTube

      1. Well, they don’t provide an https feed, so I can’t successfully embed it in comments

      2. Aside from the “locking up 10 seconds in” and “can’t be downloaded” maybe.

    3. That’s fucked up

      1. It is indeed.

        I would be curious to know how it was determined that it was a US plane that dropped the bomb(s) ?

        1. Or even if it was an airstrike at all, and not a vehicle bombing or something else.

    4. The comments… sweet deity, the comments. I read the first couple dozen, and they’re some variation on, “Well, YES, but ISIS would do it too, which means it’s not our fault.”

      The older I get, the more evidence I see that the “evolution of man to a higher existence than animals” was all just a fairy story we tell ourselves when the reality of our bestial savagery becomes too much to face. We have no more humanity than a feral tomcat. Just more words to convince ourselves otherwise.

      1. I agree, humans tend to think we have evolved beyond our basic animalistic instincts and are elevated above our fellow creatures because we have a brain that can comprehend our own existence. Animals are generally more moral than humans because they don’t indiscriminately kill at the level that humans do.

        1. Oh, I think it’s even worse than that. I think the capacity to act morally makes the failure to do so a more damning indictment of the species.

          If our only sin was failure to evolve, that would be one thing. But we HAVE! We CAN entertain moral concepts: mercy, humility, generosity, kindness exhibited towards those outside our immediate genetic line…and we choose not to. And for reasons outside survival! For wealth, for power, or just plain braggin’ rights…

          It’s enough to make you wanna bomb somebody.

      2. Those comments are sick and just plain stupid. It wasn’t from an American airstrike they say. Ok, then when pictures come out from when the US does bomb civilians, you’ll say what? Even the US govt doesn’t deny it bombs civilians. “Collateral Damage.” I guess then the move on to the “goat fuckers!” stage. Sick.

        1. That’s liveleak for you, the vast majority of liveleaks readership are your hyper right wing racists. They are a nutty bunch who believe anything in this world is fixable if America just drops some bombs. It is sick.

    5. And we know this was a US airstrike…how?

      I am very suspicious. It is fairly common tactic to commit atrocities on their own and then point fingers at others. I see a lot of civilian casualties of the most sympathetic kind while most of those speakers are men in their prime.

      1. That’s a fair point in this case, but I doubt the aftermath of an actually proven US airstrike on civilians, which have happened, looks any better.

        1. Perhaps more pertinent. US “led” coalition could mean a number of different entities inxludinh the Syrian government could be responsible. Not that that means the US military can wash it’s hands of the matter

          1. CENTCOM statement

            http://www.centcom.mil/news/pr…..ations-nea

      2. Looks like it could be a car bomb, to me, on account of the thoroughly smashed/burned car at the epicenter. Or, could be an air strike. I would have expected more explosive damage (rubble, etc.) from an air strike. Couldn’t really say one way or another.

    6. Looks more like the aftermath of a car bomb than an air strike.

      1. You certainly can’t put it past ISIS

  19. Food topic: can someone explain the whole “Starbucks has shitty coffee” thing to me? While I personally think the more recent Pike’s Roast isn’t that great, it’s still more interesting than something like Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. To me, the House Blend and Espresso Roast beans are tasty, nutty, complex, and rich. For a long while, the Espresso Roast was my go-to bean for my espresso machine and I find it to still be solid.

      1. You’re not wrong. It is overpriced, but it is far superior to Dunkin’ Donuts or gas stations. Local coffee houses are usually better than Starbucks, but their coffee is expensive as well.

        1. You’re right, local coffee houses are the bomb.

        2. It is overpriced, but it is far superior to Dunkin’ Donuts or gas stations.

          Overpriced: yes.

          Quality? meh.

          The actual grade/quality/cost of the beans to SBUX, per-cup/per-oz, is often less than that of their peers in the retail foodservice biz (e.g. MCD or DNKN)

          IOW, they often don’t use “better” coffee. they use different coffee. They also roast their beans to produce a lower-caffeine, more-burnt product. Dunkn & MCD’s coffee is weaker-flavored, but ‘greener’ and tends to be higher in caffeine content. Because its supposed to be – that’s what appeals to truck drivers, contractors at the drive-thru at 6AM.

          the “quality” of starbucks is all based in consumer perceptions of what “normal” coffee is. Because starbucks is different, darker, more bitter… its assumed to be ‘better’. that’s not really necessarily the case.

          i rarely see anyone serving actual Kona or Blue Mtn even at your local hipster coffee-shop, because they can’t afford to. ($40-70lb) No blends, no grinds, just the beans. I think its worth buying some of that stuff twice a year just to remind one’s self what good coffee tastes like. Also makes great christmas presents imo.

          1. The fuck are you on about? Starbucks is notoriously HIGH in caffeine.

        3. My local coffee shop is owned by an Ethiopian couple and their coffee is better and cheaper than Starbucks.

          1. One local I like is Turkish.

          2. I would certainly trust some immigrants from countries with centuries-old coffee traditions far more than i would any beardo hipster

            1. As a result of this conversation I shunned the local coffee shop in a charming little town usually staffed by pretty teenage girls and instead visited their sister shop in a neighboring city which lacks any charm, unless you consider instilling a sense of fear into visitors charming. As I parked my vehicle I was greeted by the baleful stares from a group of young ruffians, accurately representing the city’s idea of charm. I entered the beautiful shop and was met by additional glares, this time from obese bearded men and harried older women. When I stepped up to the counter and encountered two ladies with tattoos covering seemingly every inch of their generously exposed skin, every inch with the exception of their faces, which were not tattooed, yet possessed facial hair that was not removed as what I can only assume is an ongoing statement against basic human decency. During the walk back to my vehicle, coffee in hand, I encountered an older gentleman – sitting in a lawn chair on the street, clad in sweatpants and a ribbed undershirt and listening to Jadakiss out of a boombox – who made eye contact with me, gave me a through going over and then sincerely remarked “Lookin’ good, youngblood.” I thanked him for his kindness, entered my vehicle, and said aloud, “you do not get that at Starbucks.”

              1. I entered the beautiful shop and was met by additional glares, this time from obese bearded men and harried older women. When I stepped up to the counter and encountered two ladies with tattoos covering seemingly every inch of their generously exposed skin, every inch with the exception of their faces, which were not tattooed, yet possessed facial hair that was not removed as what I can only assume is an ongoing statement against basic human decency.

                So, would?

              2. The camera swivels to Rod Serling. “You have just entered… the Twilight Zone”.

              3. Ugh the errors. It’s like I write for reason.com.

                1. Looks good to me.

    1. To me, it always tastes like the burn the beans when grinding. (Euphemism)

    2. Their plain coffee tastes like burnt leaves. The fancier stuff is fine by me, though.

      But yeah, Dunkin’ Donuts is the most disgusting thing out there.

      1. WTF? Dunkin Donuts has great coffee, a great aroma and a smooth, pleasant taste. Coffee doesn’t need to have a bitter bite to it (like Starbucks, Peet’s) to be ‘good’.

        I know some of you snobs think a two-ounce espresso is the greatest thing in the world, but for those of us who like to drink 24-ounce coffees, we prefer a tasty, drinkable ‘beverage’ to something from which you take only a couple of tiny pungent sips.

        I buy ground Dunkin Donuts coffee and make it every morning at home. Yum.

        Dunkin Donuts became a very successful operation because of their terrific coffee, not really the donuts. I can even remember going on a fishing trip with my dad and his friends way back in the late 1960s, when they went miles out of their way just to get DD coffee.

        Disgusting coffee is Maxwell House, Folgers, and the ubiquitous gas station coffee called “Farmer Brothers”.

    3. “Food topic: can someone explain the whole “Starbucks has shitty coffee” thing to me?

      The idea that coffee could be a luxury item is new. Before the early nineties, coffee was twenty-five cents pretty much everywhere, and it all pretty much tasted the same. The suggestion that people would pay more than a dollar for coffee was absurd–like robbery even.

      The people I’ve heard claim that Starbucks coffee tastes bad are baby boomers who grew up when coffee was like that. Some of them came to like the taste of shitty coffee, no doubt about that, but mostly it’s a semi-nostalgic reaction to progress.

      When every generation gets old, they all seem to think that things were better when they were kids Even the people who grew up during the Great Depression seem to think “those were the days”.

      That may happen to you, too.

      The government may stop giving people licenses to drive non-driverless cars, and you’ll shake your fist at the newfangled cars that don’t have steering wheels and look like the the truncated back of a limousine on wheels. Maybe you’ll say the new cars look stupid and ugly, and then you’ll throw the damn kids off your lawn.

      1. P.S. Monster, Red Bull, and the other energy drinks all taste like shit.

        1. For a while there was Crunk juice which I tried once. Not objectionable although I don’t drink any of those anyways. Red Bull is nasty

        2. Ken, I agree with you on both counts. Starbucks coffee tastes good to me and energy drinks are sugar-laden shit. I don’t understand it when people complain that Starbucks coffee tastes burnt. Perhaps they like their coffee with a lighter roast? Then again, I only drink Americanos at Starbucks, so I have no idea what their brewed coffee tastes like. I also think their instant Via coffee is actually great (the Colombia one, don’t like some of the others) and when I am in a rush or backpacking, that is what I drink.

          With that said, I do seek out local coffee shops whenever I can.

          1. There are plenty of sugar-free, calorie-free energy drinks. I agree with you, stay away from the high-sugar ones, but you should actually stay away from just about every high-sugar drink.

            Monster Zero Ultra (white can) is very light and flavorful with just a tiny bit of carbonation. Less caffeine than a cup of coffee. I’m enjoying one right now.

      2. Kuerig has spoiled me. It’s really the variety that using a Kuerig provides that has spoiled me. Still prefer a French Press, but it’s nice to have the variety especially at work where it’s more convenient. We actually have a Starbucks in our building but I rarely partake. It’s not bad. I’m obviously not a snob though.

        1. I don’t like Keurig (wateru) or Starbucks (burnt). But I like home roasted, fesh ground, brewed in Technivorm, so I’m embarrassingly snobby about coffee.

          1. Yeah, I prefer fresh ground but Kuerig beats the cheap swill we get at work.

      3. What I don’t get is the whole “vente” ounces of coffee. 20 ounces? In Puerto Rico, where they grow coffee and produce locally, it was unheard of. Un pocillo is like 4 ounces. You could drink several during the day and usually did. Really good coffee doesn’t come in 20 ounce cups.

        1. Its an evolution of how we used to do coffee.

          ‘Traditional’ American coffee is served in 8-12 oz servings at home, larger on-the-go – but its drip brewed (or percolated if you’re old school) and a hell of a lot weaker than the way coffee is prepared in a lot of other places. Its also not consumed solely pre-work but picked up on the way and consumed throughout the morning rather than a serving or two of strong coffee and then off you go.

          1. I like Starbucks’ beans, particularly some of their Reserve coffees, for brewing at home. Cream if I’m drinking it at home or black w/ chicory or chicory blend for drinking all day at work.

            What I like most is Starbucks is a known quantity that I can find all over the country (or even the world) where local places range from excellent to piss water and its hard to know in advance.

      4. The idea that coffee could be a luxury item is new.

        New and old: luxury item back in the 17th century.

      5. I learned to drink it my senior year of high school. Black, with no sugar.

        I’m a cheapskate and never really got why people would spend on all those fancy milked-down coffees with foreign names. Do you want a cup of coffee, or a glass of milk?

        1. I was a mocha fan, then moved to vanilla lattes, then to lattes. In the last two months, I’ve become a convert to Americanos. And straight black coffee I brew myself.

        2. When I was little my grandmother would make me “baby coffee” which was milk with a splash of coffee.

          1. I almost never drink coffee. My exception is that if I’m at a diner I’ll have a cup or two. A little milk or cream, and some sweetener. I rarely go to diners, though.

    4. Starbucks never lands a hit for me, but McDonald’s never fails.

      1. I drink all the shit coffee I can, not a snob at all, but mcdonalds coffee tastes like it was filtered with used cigarette butts.

    1. That’s just batshit nuts. It’s a freaking goldfish, for all we know Nemo might think us humans are just giant goldfish gods that rain manna down on them. They might not want other goldfish around, what if a goldfish is introverted? GOLDFISH LIVES MATTER!

    2. People are animals

      1. If I understand what you’re saying — and I think I do — it is against the law to let grandma live alone. Time to clean out that spare bedroom and invite her to stay with you.

        1. I meant that if you have a pet it already has an animal companion. You.

          1. I’ll try to work on my snark.

          2. Some of them are even bred…to be companions.

    3. Wow. I got two cats specifically to “keep each other company” despite the fact that they mostly just fight or ignore each other but “There oughtta be a law?” Crazy.

      1. My wife used that gambit on me so she could get another cat. They stalk each other throughout the day and have at least one real fight every night according to the tuffs of cat hair on the carpet most mornings.

        Once I brought home a stuffed Leopard about 3 feet long by 2 feet high to watch their reaction if any.

        These cats treated that stuffed cat like it was royalty. One would bring it little presents. They both would lay around at the feet of the leopard in the exact same posture as the stuffed animal.

        All of this based on no sound or smell or movement, just the shape and maybe color of a stuffed inanimate object.

        1. Interesting.

        2. Maybe they thought it was some sort of kitty god? Xenophanes would think so.

          But if cattle and horses and lions had hands
          or could paint with their hands and create works such as men do,
          horses like horses and cattle like cattle
          also would depict the gods’ shapes and make their bodies
          of such a sort as the form they themselves have.

          1. + 1 elephant trunk

      2. Its actually kind of important to have more than one animal if you’re not in a situation where you can interact with your pet often enough to satisfy its needs for companionship. A lot of people don’t think about this so they buy one bird, that sits in a cage all day by itself. You wouldn’t do that to a human prisoner.

        A friend of mine had one (chocolate labrador) for a good many years as a pet. The dog was mostly lethargic, just sitting around and drooling on everything. Then she got a pit bull puppy. Within a year the Lab was visibly more alert and energetic – because it wasn’t bored out of its mind all day while home alone.

        1. My dog loves most other dogs, the trouble would be finding dogs that like her back.

        2. A lot of people don’t think about this so they buy one bird, that sits in a cage all day by itself. You wouldn’t do that to a human prisoner.

          Speak for yourself. If I had a human prisoner I would totally leave it alone in a cage all day. Alas, I don’t have any.

      3. My late brother and sister in law lived in the country and bought two goats because, well, you just can’t have one goat, it wouldn’t be fair to the goat. But they only had one child. Makes no sense.

        1. Goats are cool.

          1. I mean, aside from being assholes, yeah. Like, if you don’t have to interact with the goat and can just appreciate it from a distance, totes cool. Baby goats get a pass.

            Goats, the libertarians of domesticated animals?

      4. Cats are solitary animals and don’t need companionship.

        1. They ain’t that solitary – they’re just not herd animals.

    4. My dog would like the “companionship” of a chipmunk or squirrel, but I’m not so sure about another dog…

  20. “The news is particularly noteworthy because the media loudly trumpeted the purported dangers of energy drinks in the wake of the lawsuits.”

    So the same media that thinks private businessmen are rapacious, greedy, and fraudulent, take a knee-jerk acceptance and believe lawyers’ claims uncritically? Lawyers who, you know, have a vested financial interest in what they are saying in behalf of their clients.

    As a Floridian, I must also add: “Morgan and Morgan. FOR the people!”

    1. I haven’t lived in Florida since 2004 and I thought of that tag line instantly as well.

      1. He has the whole family shilling for him in the ads now.

    2. Around Christmas the billboards show John in a Santa Claus outfit because “Santa is for the people”. Keep it up John & Co.

  21. A Daily Beast piece on the lawsuits, typical of the tone of some reports, described the lawsuits’ target under an ominous (and false) heading: “death juice.”

    Same heading they used for the Monica scandal.

  22. I’m posting this again, simply because it seems like the set-up for the mother of all road-trip movies:

    “Nine decades after his death, Maine Civil War veteran Jewett B. Williams returns home next week.

    “Williams died in July 1922 at age 78 while he was a patient at Oregon State Hospital in Salem. His unclaimed cremated remains were among thousands of corroded copper canisters stored at the hospital for decades.

    “On Monday, Aug. 1, a ceremony at the state hospital will hand his remains to the Patriot Guard Riders, who will escort Williams on a cross-country motorcycle ride to his resting place at the Togus National Cemetery in Chelsea, Maine.”

    1. Wasn’t that the plot for Wild Hogs?

  23. DNC got tips from a 501(c)(3) nonprofit on how to spread the anti-religious-freedom message

    The advice probably included “don’t remind voters that it was Hillary’s husband who signed a Religious Freedom Restoration Act.”

    1. Yet Gary Johnson was able to come up with an anti-religious freedom message all on his own. The LP should be proud.

      1. Down ballot LP candidates and State LP parties need to disassociate and disavow fro Johnson/Weld NOW.
        I’m all for destroying theb major parties. That’s why I voted for TRUMP in the primary. It’s a shame to se GayJay destroy the Libertarian Party because that is exactly what he’s doing right now.

  24. $89 an hour! Seriously I don’t know why more people haven’t tried this, I work two shifts, 2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening?And i get surly a chek of $1260……0 whats awesome is Im working from home so I get more time with my kids.
    Here is what i did

    ?????? http://UsatodayJobs.Nypost55.com

  25. I have to go all the way back to last night’s PM links to find Trump in the headline.

    Reason, you’re getting soft.

  26. every Republican politician who pounded a pulpit

    As masturbation euphemisms go, this is not especially obscure.

  27. The suits, filed earlier this year by Morgan & Morgan, a Florida-based law firm, claimed just two cans of Monster could be deadly.

    My brain couldn’t accept this, and read it as someone losing a lawsuit for claiming two cans could be deadly

  28. Cop on cop violence

    http://nbc4i.com/2016/07/30/im…..incinnati/

    1. “After the shooting, the off-duty officer who shot the investigator fled the scene in his personal vehicle towards Cincinnati. Members of the Cincinnati Police Department were notified of the situation and of the suspect heading in their direction. Aurs has since been taken into custody by the CPD.”

      What? Am I missing something, or does this sound like remarkable kid-glove treatment?

      1. If it was a civilian there would be 100 cops out looking to gun him down.

  29. It’s a free country
    Who said you could do that?

    When a Viking ship, meticulously recreated in Norway, crossed the Atlantic last month, the feat captivated history buffs in the United States. They could hardly wait to get a look at the vessel, which was scheduled to visit a series of ship festivals along the Great Lakes this summer.

    But as the ship, called the Draken Harald Harfagre, glided into American waters this month, it collided with an unexpected foe: modern-day safety regulations.

    After making stops at Canadian ports, the Draken’s crew was told by Coast Guard officials last week that if it wanted to sail through the Great Lakes, it had to hire a certified pilot, paid at an hourly rate that would amount to about $400,000 by the trip’s end. If unable to pay, the vessel would be forced to turn back.

    What a fucking nightmare.

    Thank god the Coast Guard is here to keep us safe.

    1. That would only be news if the coast guard weren’t dicks about it.

      1. Its not the CG – its Congress. To protect American shipping they require *foreign flagged* vessels to have a pilot and there’s no minimum tonnage provision. And to protect other cronies they set the pilotage fees (instead of having private pilot organizations like . . . seriously, most of the rest of the world they’re either private or run by a local, not national, government) so that these guys earn $250k a year – and they want to bump that up to over $300k.

        The CG’s hands are tied in so far that no one there has the authority to issue a waiver and to do so would be a career ending action. None of them are going to endanger their pensions for this.

    2. There’s a joke in there about danegeld but I can’t articulate it.

    3. Wait, a certified pilot could make $400k in a few months?

      1. With this one weird trick, yes.

      2. Year. On the Great Lakes. Rates vary depending on where you work.

  30. Scan every major news site, and see some version of

    Khazir Khan = Great American, or Greatest American?

    and/or

    Russian Blitzkrieg Tech-Rape Cyber-Aggression Expands Exponentially in Scope: Victims Crawling from Woodwork

    Interestingly, it seems the clinton campaign is trying to achieve a “have your cake and eat it too” story – leak to Reuters that the hack was wider than simply the DNC & Congresional Campaign Committee …. then DENY that they were hacked to the WaPo and NYT.

    I think that’s some high-level media-judo. get both contradictory stories out to different news orgs, and let them fight for the next three days which of the bullshit claims is actually true(r), keeping the topic alive.

    Given that the sources of these claims are all ‘anonymous’, “people familiar with the matter” …. its just a matter of letting the sources string them along and feed them more, un-verifiable claims, letting it drown out any discussion of “what was hacked” and “why would it that intel be compromising anyway?”

    1. Holy crap, the photo they chose makes Herself look like an aging and enervated school administrator rather than the dynamic leader of the worlds most important political party.

      1. Yeah, they’ve run that photo a bit over the last few days. It doesn’t help their otherwise very-generous-to-clinton coverage.

      2. “How does this thing work?”

  31. Those crafty Rooskies- first, they use their evil mind control ray to make the Debbie Schultz make the DNC skew the process in favor of Clinton, and then they tell everybody.

  32. I have decided to refer to her as “Debbie Schultz” until she assassinates somebody.

    1. Debbie Schultz is kinda porny and that is not the sort of thing you want associated with Mrs. Neverwashesherhair.

  33. Just out of curiosity i did an experiment searching Reuters news =

    Moderate Right

    9 results

    Far Right

    3,010 results

    Any bets on the split/ratio with “Far-Left” vs. “moderate left”? please, no cheating

    1. Far left – 9; moderate left – 3,010.

      1. Yep, that’s about what I would expect.

    2. Surprisingly, (*or maybe not)…

      the most common phrase is “Centre-left” @ ~2800

      “Far left” or “extreme left” get a few hundred mentions; “Far Left” getting the most (900), and it seems to be frequently associated with states like Spain, Portugal, Greece…. and their economic woes.

      If there’s any analytical take-away (and maybe there’s not), its that the ‘acknowledged spectrum’ of “left” is more frequently discussed. There are “medium-to-heavy” lefties. The internal debate is a much-discussed topic.

      Whereas the citation of “right” elements at all? is exclusively as a fringe phenomenon which has no ‘normal’ variety

      1. I imagine it would be hard even for Reuters to characterize Syriza as center-left.

      2. and maybe this is wrong too.

        just checked “Centre-right” (the term hadn’t occurred to me until i saw in the context of ‘left’; its a more-european convention)… and its up there ~3000+

        so maybe less differences than assumed (tho the “extreme right” is still 3X higher than any ‘far-left’ mentions)

        I think the unique issue here is the particularly european, parliamentary nature of the politics in the EU, which makes for ‘official’ gradations rather than editorialized ones. meaning, there are “self-labeled” center-right/center-left parties. That’s what they *call* themselves. and the context of these splits seem to be mostly about EU fiscal issues, which makes the nature of the left-right divide more economic/less social.

        In the WaPo you find (since 2005)

        “Right-Wing” (7,500)
        “Extreme right” (320)
        “Far Right” (3200+)
        “Center Right” (1600)
        “Moderate Right” (21)

        “Left Wing” (3900)
        “Extreme left” (77)
        “Far Left” (1300)
        “Center Left” (1200)
        “Moderate Left” (40)

        Again – the same split you find is that “far right” or “right-wing” is about 2-3X more frequent; & the mentions of “center right/left” tend to be references to EU-specific political issues (but not always)

        I think if you normalized for US-only stories, you’d find a far clearer weighting….where ‘left’ is mentioned about half as often overall, and “right” is about 3X as often cited as ‘extreme/far/-wing” (as a distinguishing adjective) as it is mentioned as a mere-descriptor

        1. I remember having an on-line discussion with fellow historians over the question of the religious right. There conclusion, there was no such things as the “religious left” in a political sense.

          1. Was this before the current pope?

            also = i think that’s a little narrow minded. There have been religious movements in the past that clearly broke with their establishment in leftward directions. Re: Episcopalians vis a vis gays? Jesuits often took novel views which the main church considered heretical. etc.

            1. Sorry, I should have been more specific: the context was contemporary US politics and they were all confident that religious groups had no influence whatsoever on the Democrat Party.

              1. they were all confident that religious groups had no influence whatsoever on the Democrat Party.

                yeah, i sort of groked that below.

                i think i’d dispute the ‘no influence *whatsoever*… but concede that they don’t have specific issues that are quite as easily identifiable as theirs alone.

                if the ‘religious left’ has an influence on the Democrat party, its with Israel, and with pandering to the concepts of “humanitarian interventions”. The Left was gung-ho to intervene in somalia in the 1990s, Darfur in the 2000s, and a lot of that was motivated by “christians” within the left who felt the US had an obligation to help the po’folk in their african-squalor.

                Clinton certainly saw Africa as a great way to appeal to christian blacks. (*tho, admittedly sort of fucked all that up)

                1. A lot of Dems also make pilgrimages to black churches around election time and amp up the racial justice issues.

          2. there was no such things as the “religious left” in a political sense.

            If you mean simply as “as a political constituency” (*In either the GOP or DNC)…. i think that’s also probably not entirely correct either.

            If so, why did the DNC try so hard to paint Sanders as an athiest? why did joe biden go on a BLESS AMERICA AND GOD AND BABIES AND FREEDOM shout-fest at the convention? there’s definitely a high-proportion of religious people within the democratic party – its just that maybe they aren’t as picky about their political demands in quite the same way the religious right is. (e.g abortion & gays, namely)

            1. The religious left seemed very big in the sanctuary movement in the ’70s.

              1. & civil rights in the 60s

                ESB has a sad

              1. You’ve never seen a copy of Sojourners magazine ? Or hear the likes of the Catholic Bishops when they talk about economics?

                Hillary’s leftier goo-goo notions are informed by her Methodism. Progressivism is pretty rampant in that sector of the Christian denominational map. I seem to recall a black preacher, Wiilliam Barber II, getting a speaking slot at the DNC last week.

        2. Can you do that magic with “Alt Right” OR “Alt-Right”, Dennis. Asking for a friend.

          1. Too recently-invented a term. What would you compare it to? Its only even been a relevant buzzword for maybe 2 years, and that’s a stretch.

          2. Two years in Milo’s case but this has brewing for well over a decade now. Take a look at the links on Steve Sailer’s blog for keywords.

            1. Audacious Epigone is in your league.

            2. this has brewing for well over a decade now

              You might think the “Thing” called Alt-right has, but my point was that the TERM has not.

              Nothing you said seemed to understand my point – what would you be comparing mentions of “alt-right” *to*?, and what would any measure of its incidence reflect other than the media’s general awareness of the term?

              Re: Steve Sailer is just a fancy-man’s race-troll. If you think he ever said anything worth taking seriously, point me at it.

        3. Don’t forget these morons think fascism is right wing. So there are likely numerous improper labels.

    3. Global or just US?

    4. Your links don’t work, in an unusual way. They erase the search terms so you get “No search results match the term “”

      1. huh

        the html filter @ Reason parses out anything between the quotes.

    5. Moderate Left: 7,650
      Far Left: 1

      1. “Dallas H.”, huh? I’ll be keeping an eye on you…

        1. Ha! I’m keeping an eye out for a Cheyenne. We could use a stripper around here.

  34. Totally different debate =

    What’s the legal vs. conceptual difference between a “Hate Crime” and “Terrorism”….

    ….and what are each of those’s legal vs. conceptual differences with plain old “Murder”.

    there was some discussion of this the other day which didn’t go anywhere. Europe is in the midst of muddying these concepts further as they try and figure out how to prosecute the variety of goobers they’ve picked up in the nets associated with Belgian & French terror-attacks. Some are conspirators in actual terror-acts…others are being charged with weird blended ideas like “Attempted Terrorist Murder

    I personally don’t think there is (or should be) any legal concept of “hate crime”. However, i’d argue “Terrorism” is a real thing and can be treated as a distinct criminal category.

    1. I don’t believe terrorism needs a separate category – especially as we see that prosecutors love to toss anything into the ‘terror’ category in order to push headlines and increase their bargaining power.

      Same as with hate crimes – murder’s murder. Assault’s assault. Doesn’t matter *why* except to show mens-rea or as a mitigating circumstance that you can present to the jury (or for sentencing) to get a verdict for an appropriate charge.

      You can *show* that someone killed because of terrorism – but all that really means is that a charge of negligent homicide or whatever is not on the table.

      And is it really worse if someone beats the feth out of you because terrorism or because . . . shits and giggles?

      1. There are also instances of ‘love’ crimes, such as a mother mercifully killing her children while they slept, when she truly believed the apocalypse was coming at dawn. But these defendants are always considered nuts though.

        1. Where do “honor” killings fit?

          1. “Those aren’t crimes, those are vindications of Allah’s justice!”

        2. Good question, if the defendant believes life only begins at death.

          1. There are certain ideas for which it might be right to shoot the holders thereof.

            In the case of that one, it’s self-defense.

      2. I don’t believe terrorism needs a separate category ….murder’s murder. Assault’s assault.

        I disagree.

        Terrorism is a political act with political goals, and it done on behalf of an organization. Its closer to an act of war than an individual-crime.

        Its *not* murder in the sense that the goal of any murder is simply to take the lives of one’s perceived enemies. It is an end-in-itself. The goal of terror-killing is to effect a political goal, and the killing will continue unabated no matter how many are killed until that goal is achieved. The victims are not the intended targets in that sense.

        If Terrorism “is Murder”, what would you call someone poisoning a water supply – where no one is actually killed? say, they are caught in the act. “Attempted murder”? of how many exactly? What if the technical ignorance of the perp was such that they didn’t realize that the dose would merely sicken a few. So not even that?

        If you think “intent” is irrelevant and the only thing which matters is the act and its consequences, then i think you’re understating the extent to which intent or context is used to aggravate or mitigate crimes *already*.

        Its false to pretend that “Terror” is like “hate crimes” which relies on ‘mindset’ alone. Terror falls into an entirely different category of crimes, whereas hate crimes are merely “aggravated” ‘regular murders’.

        1. *footnote =

          a lot of the material about this topic you will find online is wildly skewed depending on the purposes of the author.

          The left seems to want to have the freedom to call all mass-shootings ‘terrorism’ in order to make a point about guns.

          They also want ‘racist’-motivated killers a la Roof called terrorists in order to justify some sort of Thought-Police-powers against people who say inflammatory racial shit

          it seems to me that there’s some legitimate argument that when self-described muslims kill a lot of people and announce that they’re “pledging allegiance” to a foreign power which coincidentally happens to be ISIS… that it is closer to an act of war than a “mass killing”.

          This guy seems to want to insist that stated individual intent isn’t enough, and it requires some degree of actual “cooperative organization” in order to cross the bar into “actual terrorism”. He’s not saying – like you – terror isn’t real. Just that the stuff we Americans experience isn’t really that, we….because its not the narrative he prefers, i suppose. he also thinks cops can “prevent” this stuff from happening if evul republicans would just get out of the way.

          1. Act of war? If they are not aiming at legitimate military targets, that’d be a war crime, anyway.

        2. Well, as I *said* – terrorism as a motive can be used as a mitigating circumstance. I just don’t believe ‘terroristic murder’ or ‘making terroristic threats’ deserve a whole separate category in the statute books.

          But if you’re going to go that route then you’re going to have to add a looooooooot of crimes to the terrorism list.

          A drug dealer murders another drug dealer to claim his territory – that’s political.

          Telecom union members trash some junction boxes to influence public opinion – that’s political.

          Bunch of dudes beat the shit out of some gay guys to keep them out of their neighborhood – that’s political, that’s an attempt to influence the public through terror.

          You’ll be basically duplicating every ‘non-victimless’ and ‘non-regulatory’ crime but putting ‘terroristic’ in front of it.

          1. As for ‘poisoning a water supply’ – well, isn’t that attempted murder? We don’t reduce charges because someone’s too stupid to get it right so the guy who screws up the dose is still going for attempted murder – in my opinion ‘attempted’ crimes should be treated the same as the underlying crime. No leniency for incompetence. How many? How many did he think he was going to kill? That’s a good starting point. Either way, after you attempt to kill more than 10 people in one go you’re not going to get out of prison if convicted and any state that still has the death penalty will escort you to the head of the line.

            In any case – if its an act of war its an act of war and not a crime. If its a crime then it needs to be treated like a crime. It being ‘terroristic’ may call for a sentence enhancement, but not a whole new category.

            1. How many did he think he was going to kill? That’s a good starting point.

              Its weird how you think mindset and intent as such a good guideline for determining the severity of punishment of an act, but have no bearing at all on the nature of an act.

          2. terrorism as a motive can be used as a mitigating circumstance

            Do you mean “aggravating”? I’m not sure if trying to mass-kill people for a foreign terror-organization is ‘less egregious’ than if you’re just ‘batshit crazy’.

          3. I just don’t believe ‘terroristic murder’ or ‘making terroristic threats’ deserve a whole separate category in the statute books

            it seems like you’re arguing from the perspective as thought there “isn’t already” and that the objection is to “adding anything new”.

            Terrorism is currently an actual separate category in the statute books, both on the state & federal level.

            I am not necessarily arguing on behalf of the statutes that exist, so much for the general idea that there’s a legal basis for treating terror-charges more like Treason/Acts of War (i..e. attacks against US citizens with intent of influencing the US govt); i’m not sure that’s exactly how all the existing statues do apply.

    2. I am fine with slicing it up any way that makes people feel vindicated as long as the penalties are the same.

      Rot in prison until you fix what you broke or put back what you took away.

  35. $89 an hour! Seriously I don’t know why more people haven’t tried this, I work two shifts, 2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening?And i get surly a chek of $1260……0 whats awesome is Im working from home so I get more time with my kids.
    Here is what i did

    ?????? http://UsatodayJobs.Nypost55.com

  36. So only 1 post dated 7.30 ?

    Surely Trump has done something worthy of scrutiny since yesterday.

    Doesnt Reason regularly post ads for interns ?

    Cant interns be made to work weekends ?

    There are those of us who post here somewhat dependent upon the Reasonettes for entertainment and scholarly discussion (hahaha).

    1. And social life! But, the weekends are usually slow anyway, and the last two weeks the staff were going to the conventions, and they posted at least three times more than usual, so I’ma cut them some slack.

  37. Only one post on a Saturday is almost as bad as late weekday links.

    1. Or a brickbat that’s already been a full post.

  38. Cronies start circling:

    “Apple CEO Tim Cook is hosting a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton ? and tickets start at $2,700 (AAPL)”
    […]
    “He’ll have help, though. Apple vice president Lisa Jackson, who heads up the company’s environmental policy, will join him, according to an invitation obtained by Buzzfeed News.
    Jackson is a political figure. Before she joined Apple, she was appointed by President Barack Obama as the administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency. She attended a White House state dinner together with Cook last year.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/technolo…..646950.php

      1. Amazing how people with no skills and made-up job titles manage to bounce from one lucrative position to the next based simply on a few magic buzzwords. I would love to get in on that if it wouldn’t make me hate myself.

        1. You really missed the boat on “Corporate Social Responsibility”.

          1. All of government affairs/regulatory positions are like this. Those people have zero interest in ever reducing the scope of the regulatory state, even if it benefited their supposed employers.

        2. If I knew how to do it, I would. Wouldn’t hate myself, either. If they’re dumb enough to pay me, I’ll take it and laugh all the way to the bank.

    1. Remember who pays the bar tab here.

      http://www.zerohedge.com/news/…..ry-clinton

  39. there was no such things as the “religious left” in a political sense.

    They never heard of Episcopalians, I guess.

    1. The Pope is far left too. I think he’s playing catchup with the Episcopalians.

      1. BITE YOUR TONGUE SIR!

    2. Socialism in Canada also has (both historically and in a modern context, at least in terms of NDP leadership) pretty close ties with the United Church.

      1. I’d also point people to the CoE which is to the left of the Pope.

    3. Progressives?

    1. “Cubs of the Caliphate”

      Awww… adorable.

    2. George F. Will mentioned, in a recent column, that Americans have not elected and angry man (referring to Trump) to be President since Andrew Jackson.

      Jackson was a POW during the American Revolutionary war at the age of 14, something the history professor forgot to mention.

      1. Americans have not elected and angry man (referring to Trump) to be President since Andrew Jackson.

        Just to play the clown’s-advocate =

        but what is so “angry” about Trump, exactly? his “make america great again” is a generally positively aimed theme; its not exactly “LETS KILL OUR ENEMIES”

        and his rhetoric tends to be things about how sad (Sad!) it is that we’re so “divided as a country’.

        If you imagine a slightly different tone of voice, you hear an entirely different guy

        1. Trump is angry because he’s running a campaign of hate. I know this because the Democrats and their acolytes have been championing that message since the Republican convention. Trump is the angry candidate and Hillary is somehow the candidate of mature calmness and responsibility. The Dems ran that message into the ground at the DNC, which this is a good example of.

          Trump and his supporters are angry for a variety of reasons, but it is hilarious that Democrats, or Bernie supporters, or whomever else is not angry. Is also an insulting message that I cannot believe has any effect on anyone who is paid to pay attention to politics. Those gullible twats will believe anything as long as they think other right-thinking people are thinking it too.

          1. Wow, i’m getting a lot of negative vibes here. You seem like you’ve got a lot of hostility. Maybe you should consider therapy or something.

            there’s definitely nothing hateful about the trump protesters. what with their flag-burning and effigy bashing and their sucker punching. Those people are just trying to get the troglodyte Trumpers to elevate their discourse and join civilization.

            1. You cut me right to the core, and on of all the days to do it, you choose international friendship day.

              1. I meant no actual harshness in your direction with my parody of the “accuse people of being angry”-passive-aggressive tactic.

        2. It’s the angry white man script.

      2. but what is so “angry” about Trump, exactly?

        I don’t see it either. “Car Salesman” fits though. I was reared by Roman Catholics nuns. “If the shoe fits, wear it.” They always said that to the gossipping girls though.

        1. Well, he is a racist xenophobe. They’re angry, right?

          1. Since he is anti illegal immigration, the xenophobe charge, thought not entirely accurate, is at least a reasonable one. The racist charge is completely nuts and just says that “racist” now means “anything the media and political elite don’t like. Seriously, what about Trump is a racist? The best you can point to is that he pointed out that Mexican criminals come here along with other Mexicans, which is true and doesn’t say Mexicans are more likely to be criminals. Then he said we shouldn’t let Muslims into the country unless we can figure out if they are terrorists. Muslim isn’t a race and since some of them really are terrorist, thinking we should not let them in until we can sort out who is who seems like common sense not racism.

            1. Xenophobe is quickly losing all meaning, too.

              1. I would like “no! Leave me alone!” To lose all meaning.
                Also, I wish people would stop walking on the left side of the hall. I mean, we’re not in England here, people.

      3. they are going to say the alternative is Donald Trump and do you want an angry man in your living room?

        here’s the thing, George = most people DONT WANT ANY PRESIDENT “in their living room”.

        This isn’t the 1940s. they want the president in D.C. making other politician’s lives miserable. the less we actually see of the president, the better things are probably going.

        this idea that the zeitgeist of the country relies on the regular presence of the Dear Leader in our lives is something i find creepier than the “angry” claim.

  40. The Atlantic pines for the good old days of the 19th century, when there wasn’t such a generation gap in politics.

    “Partisan age mixing played the greatest role in the lives of poorer young people. In Gilded Age Boston’s notorious eighth ward, scrappy Irish and Jewish kids hung around “One-Arm Pete’s” smoky tobacco shop, learning “practical politics” from their elders. For half a century, successive waves of immigrant youths inherited control of Boston’s Democratic Party through these apprenticeships.

    “America’s institutions forced generations to mingle. In one-room schoolhouses, 8-year-old boys and 14-year-old girls overheard 20-something students hollering partisan slogans. Such mixing, wrote an Illinois schoolteacher in 1860, proved “the genius of a republican government in which every member, male and female, large or small, feels a keen, personal interest.”

    “Political clubs helped blend the ages as well. These bombastic organizations stomped through America’s town squares after midnight, waving torches, hollering slogans, and riling up voters (and sometimes rioters). Most club members were in their teens and 20s, but a few veteran partisans were always hanging out, drinking ale, and discussing the best way to knock down the opposition’s marchers.”

    1. Good lord… the fact that most Americans can completely ignore politics is a PLUS you idiots.

  41. Boy, when even Cato doesn’t think you’re a libertarian……………!

    http://www.cato.org/blog/johns…..ian-ticket

    1. Oh, don’t be such a purist!

      /sarc

    2. CATO CUCKS TURN ON JOHNSON

      1. What do you call someone who fantasizes about Donald Trump screwing his country?

    3. My criticisms of Gary Johnson in 2012 as well as 2016 have now been fully vindicated. Cucks, cosmos, RINOs, and “Team-L” fanbois are all coming around to the undeniable truth: #NeverJohnson

      1. Lesbians??

  42. Monster contains about 90mg of caffeine per large can. That means you have to drink more than 100 cans to get a lethal dose of caffeine (10g).

    Note that that’s about 25l of liquid, which means that, long before you get a lethal dose of caffeine, you would likely die from electrolyte imbalance.

    1. It’s not just the caffeine, though. There are other stimulants in them. Personally, I can’t imagine how anyone drinks multiple cans of that stuff. I split one can of Rockstar between three empty Sobe bottles, and fill the rest with fruit juice, I often can’t even drink a third of a can that way in one day, and I can’t drink any 6+ hours before bed, or it keeps me awake.

      1. I’ve never had an “energy drink” but I practically fall asleep at my desk every day after lunch. Coffee doesn’t help. This “Rockstar” sounds like just what I need.

        1. Cut the carbs at lunch.

          1. And exercise more. You’ll have more energy and sleep better.

            1. If “exercise” came in convenient dose-size bottles I would so be there.

              1. LOL.

                It’s in any supermarket and probably convenience store. I first had it as a mixer in a cocktail, and it perfectly counteracted the depressive effects of alcohol, creating a nice energized buzz. It tastes pretty bad, so you may want to mix it with something, and thus one can may well be too much for one day.

              2. It’s easier than you think. Incorporate the idea into your day. Take the stairs, at least down to start. Take a mile walk after dinner; is not really that far: you walk a half mile, turn around and walk back. That’s ten minutes each way at a leisurely pace.
                Take a bike ride with somebody. Put on as pair of Rollerblades. Anything.
                After a while, you’ll start wanting to do more, like maybe a set or two of push-ups.
                Just decide to do it, and you can.

      2. Like what? The only other “active” ingredients besides caffeine are taurine, ginseng, carnitine, niacinamide, guarana, and cyanocobalamin, but those are not significant stimulants. In the end, a big can of Monster is probably less stimulating than a cup of coffee.

  43. I’ve read mountains of books through the fucking years and one item I’ve noticed is that emperors of vast historical significance slathered notes that now sit patiently on modern shelves that could be shared with pondering ragged slouched wanderers of the rusting alleys and frosted windows… or even wrinkled men in foggy tall hallways pressing swishing cloth against marble echoing the glaring lights of morn.

    Emperors and thoughtful homeless wander the same alleys, man. The magicians of the modern age share the same strange trips as a bright grandmother nestling scrapbooks under the glow of old shows. We try to divide ourselves in our goddamn myriad blasts under wars and terror and categories and class… but in the end our life is sure only at the moment our glance catches a wandering glisten sparkling from a far away mysterious pond deep in the parallel version of ourselves.

    1. The microdata instances of me seeing a guy wearing a black 40 gallon Hefty bag are way up over they were 2 years ago, but the metadata is still rosy and sweet. The macrodata is to the stars.

      1. Pulp tsunamis of thick juicy alien gonads spilled their spear tips deep into your reflective cave, little widget.

        1. Does that pickup line ever work?

          1. Just add vodka

            1. Is AC using the Gibberish Generator ?

              We try to divide ourselves in our goddamn myriad blasts under wars and frosted windows… or even wrinkled men in foggy tall hallways pressing swishing cloth against marble echoing the glow of ourselves.
              I’ve noticed is that now sit patiently on modern age shared with pondering lights of morn. Emperors of the parallel version of ourselves in our life is sure only at the parallel version of old shows. We try to divide ourselves that now sit patiently on modern age shared with pond deep in the rusting

  44. If eyeballs had arms fingers would be fucking visions and fingernails quantum shelves for who the fuck knows what because I do not know what the hell a quantum shelf is.

    1. A quantum shelf is a shelf.

      1. It’s the smallest possible shelf.

  45. How the Media’s History of Smearing Republicans Now Helps Trump
    Decades of smearing decent Republican candidates leaves them without credibility on Trump’s demagoguery.

    “Already, editorial boards are preparing their indictments of what they believe to be Donald Trump’s incompetence, bigotry, and authoritarianism. Trump operatives will undoubtedly respond: “That’s what they always say about Republicans.” And they’ll be right.”

    1. Oh, true. And hilarious.

    2. Decades of smearing decent Republican candidates leaves them without credibility on Trump’s demagoguery.

      “them”

    3. True story

    4. Trump promised to hire the best people.

      Well, he didn’t miss the mark in hiring 30yo Stephan Miller. Look him up. He is on game.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1qOA2PVDS8\

      There are valid arguments against Stephan Miller’s points. HRC can spend 10 to 1 against him in PA and OH, but not budge the polls an inch.

      1. anyone who gets involved in politics in their 20s creeps me the fuck out.

        you should be getting laid and bouncing from job to job looking for something ‘interesting’ to do with your life.

        The only political people i can tolerate are the ones who “fell into it” after they already had a career doing something else.

        that said – his points about how “THEY TOOK YER JOBS” (*by *importing* immigrants – as opposed to exporting the jobs via ‘globalization’) is pretty dumb and has no basis in fact. Unless this speech is to the fruit-pickers and landscaping society.

        1. #fruitpickersandlanscaperslivesmatter

    1. As bad as he may have been, worst president would have to go to FDR. They lost me at Social Justice anyways, like they have any clue what that is.

      1. Woodrow Wilson was worse. At least when FDR went to war, we had been sneak-attacked by Japan, and their ally, Germany, declared war on us. If WW had been stopped before he could institute conscription, re-segregate the Federal government, and sign the Federal Reserve Act, FDR’s power grabs would really have seemed extreme.

  46. Superstitious idiots

    In 2013, the Newtown school district agreed to demolish the elementary school, built in 1956, “out of respect for the tragedy that occurred there,” The New York Times reported. The design of the new school incorporates heavy security measures. Windows are bullet-resistant, classroom doors can be locked from the inside or outside, and interior walls are reinforced.

    “In terms of security, the measures here are second to none,” Dr. Joseph V. Erardi Jr., the superintendent of Newtown schools, said at a press conference.

    But the school’s reopening is one part of the grieving process, not a marker of its end, he told The Newtown Bee.

    “The opening of the new school is not bringing [the community] full circle to the event. What it is doing is taking a large step forward. For people who believe that Newtown, and particularly Newtown’s schools, have completely recovered ? we haven’t. This is a large step forward for the staff and faculty of Sandy Hook School that have worked hard to make sure that it will be a fine opening day for 380 youngsters,” Dr. Erardi said.

    They build a new school fortified like Fort Knox because they expect to be targetted on a regular basis. By ghosts.

    1. Well, at least they can repurpose it as a jail someday.

      1. Well, at least they can repurpose it as a jail someday.

        Anybody else notice how much elementary schools and jails look the same?

    2. because they expect to be targetted on a regular basis they knew they could spend as much as they wanted and the politically-connected local contractors had a field-day

      1. Yup. That’s some cronyism bullshit, or boolscheiss as we say in Pennsylvania German.

    3. They’re convinced that guns contain evil spirits; why shouldn’t they believe their school is a Hellmouth for active shooters?

  47. you know if you spin a record backward your telomeres are so short google search calls them omelets.

  48. you know if you spin a record backward your telomeres are so short google search calls them omelets.

  49. also if your bass eats cocaine off deep purple your telomeres are so short that it is likely you should be group fucking hot panty Asians made from krill and cigarette ash from goddamn Japanese artists.

  50. Head phones are basement stairs into the fucking brain of boxes of records scrap metal generations rustled for.

      1. It’s time the ASPCA paid that guy a visit…

        1. Or maybe the Genius Bar should just hire him already.

          1. Q and the Fusionist lava of erupting belows
            splashes into the quantum tsunsamis of blistering
            reactivities unleashing the gods of the minds of the avatars
            spreading like eruptions onto the realities of bullet
            threads whistling like calm parallel planets thick with
            Q and Fusion nightmares…

            1. My nightmares are neither tectonic or catholic.

  51. If you own an animel this living soul erupts with every single goddamn failure you forgot unless you fucking own an animel that is fed and loved well in which case could you FUCKING please move on and quit fucking my animel sermon up with your animel shit. I worked FUCKING hard to fix those e’s. For not a single reason other than your goddamn dog and cat at home is NOT a fucking bologna sandwich job. YOUR FUCKING DOG AND CAT ( and this includes VEGAN GAINS) is not a goddamn playdate. Animals in the FUCKING home are as long term as all your pussies and dicks, praise god and his or her fucking buttplugs.

    1. You checking back? Nope, still no response.

      1. See Mauser at 8:45, below.

  52. Animels are goddamn family members and if you buy one thinking this animal can fit in your police station or funny boat like he or she will be abused and used for the state of your crumbling ego then can you just fucking stop thinking you are a fucking goddamn badass and resort to turnip brain?

    Animels are aweseme. And should be loved liked the e’ in love. Or, don’t own them and live free… agile gives you capes and love and guitar kisses….

    well this went ‘e’ oddly … not sure if the pond had dragons in it or not but so we go on the updrafts, right?

  53. always love your dogs and cats forever, brothers and queens.
    castle creatures are important.
    liberty loves the echoes of soaring supreme gliders but she also
    embraces the lovely partner beasts…
    in the deep upper mists where outer planets roil even…
    space without dogs and cats is likely a space lonely that kills
    because NASA isn’t a goddamn swinger party and agile loves
    a goddamn swinger party

    1. She died? The Queen of the Porch. RIP.

  54. Those pecker cutting parties in Turkey sound disturbing, the poor little guy in the picture is like shit! I’ve never heard of s?nnet parties before, I was always under the assumption that it was done when they were still very young.

  55. Open windows let angels in…
    but shuttered windows escape the dreams of the wicked.

  56. Hillary has plans, people! Plans!

    1. A plan to get us out of Vietnam ..and back in again…

      1. Is it just me or does her running mate seem more womanly than the Hilldog?

    2. Hillinator can’t die yet! Hillinator hazz planzzz!

  57. Behind the dreams of strong men lie the mountains of imaginations
    that often glow lie invisible clouds above their prostrate dead selves
    in the carnival of their gone gatherings
    Behind the dreams of strong men lurk lies and hallucinations
    Behind the dreams of strong men exist monsters
    Behind the dreams of strong men thrive a beauty of existence no goddamn
    motherfucking American Democrat can hope to exist on the wings of eagles because eagles don’t travel to the moons with weak-hearted castoffs that litter the fantasies of modern progressives.

  58. reminded to everyone =

    Never, ever, ever, read youtube comments. just don’t.

    1. The best part is when you spend 5-10min solid scrolling and hoping that one of the comments is meaningful, but a string of “faggit” and “keke” is all that goes by, until finally it’s like this “ARGGGH WHY THE FUCK DID I WASTE MY TIME WITH THIS SHIT!?”

    2. They can be downright vile. I once made the mistake of reading comments on a simple amateur made music video (not even pop music, I think it was classical). Several comments in someone is making horrible death threats against the person who posted it for no apparent reason.

  59. Dark parallel markets have cash drawers filled with the cash of modern lives long lost on the altars of earth’s gods.
    No Goddamn earth FBI or CIA or Putin Magic can fulfill the future or/ness of intervening parallel universes…
    alleys into the sun are flaming souls, bro…
    you cannot even watch the masters of the swirling dangers clutch like so much media o’clocks and fuck.
    masters of the futures and clocks do exist, man.
    I wish this times of off wasn’t so but it is.

  60. earth is tree moon and trees are the animels of our imaginations and nothing humans could predict can exist without tall green giants
    and blood runs into the giant roots from the hurt waves that infects human gods
    the blood runs like giant roots from behind the alley of times and into the ghosts of suns
    humans are blood spinners
    freedom is our angelic rocket
    my universe can call me
    and i cry in my breast to
    escape the fallen souls
    of this collapsing lost mountain ball
    i run into the alley jets of
    swarming red glowing pods
    of fucking gone trips, man
    i burnt my arms on a red
    tower into the vapor of times…

  61. tall appetites spill their deities into my heartbeats
    and all the goddamn muscles of my guts
    clench into the oncoming storms of a million dying dreams
    crashing into the precipices of broken nows

  62. I still have popcorn husks spilling from my goddamn teeth from the fucking 80’s motherfuckers. I also can’t get rid of 80’s pussy smell from my lips and even 90’s pussy vapor… If I could I may as well cut my own throat because pussy on the top lip is the only way to be human.

  63. Modern sex is gone man. Modern fucking is a goddamn agile-approved sperm ejak off the tubes and praise everything that is jizz in the FUCKING eye of CHRISTIAN slash MUSLIM AMERICA that hates adult entertain…..

    But… modern sex as is in the tubes I refuse to hate on… so… let us further that lovely world…..
    men and women you seek whether married or not… find peace with your lovers and enjoy them always in spite of Jesus/Sharia haters…. they are both the same in spite of Fox.

    On CNN they all just don’t ever fuck. No one on CNN eats pussy or cock and if they do they have to run to priests or Imams.

    Fox at least has people that fuck. occasionally and tepidly because if they scream too loud they lose their jobs and shit.

    At least Americans are mostly okay with pussies picnicking with hard cocks but the rest of the world seems to either want to melt entire cities with nuclear bombs or legislate youth prisons with head scarves like the fuck shit going on in Australia with those shitty fucktards thumbing desert indians for decades….

    the world is a vat of tears man…
    the world has a lot of work to go, bro and reason sis… reason sisters are special to agile because i love reason sisters because these are the most superwomen of the earth….

    1. This commenter must be an english professor or a psychopath.

      1. I believe the term you were searching for is “treasure.”

      2. He’s… special. Occasionally, from the depths of where ever most of him is at the moment, we get nuggets of brilliance such as, “Bureaucracy is a basket full of loose knobs jostling for doorways to close.” Just enjoy.

        My google-fu is weak, so that quote is off the top of my head. Maybe someone else can remember it exactly.

        1. If it’s not accurate, you should be his editor. The two of you would make a fortune, though I expect you’d spend a solid six months a year in a sanitarium.

      3. Meet Agile, he keeps it lively on here, he is the unofficial poet for Reason.

  64. This is the sort of hard hitting, dead-on political commentary I’ve been waiting forever for. A shame I don’t give a flip about energy drinks, but then when they prohibited vaping I said nothing because…

  65. I grew up on tired weeds spilling from curbs
    and agile felt every fucking angry hell swell unleashed from the anger of children
    in my fucking lost youth…
    I remember being in love with Shannon the lithe black goddess when i was in third grid.
    she farted once in the hallway when Mr. Principal Beating ASS Sent on us on some lame
    mission to nowhere and Shannon the lithe BLACK GODDESS farted and then she held my
    hand in the hallway when i was 12 and Shannon blacked my brain out forever. Thanks shannon for doing this
    to my FUCKING brain and then being lost forever….
    fucked a black princess with my wife in Chicago last year and it was awesome… entire goddamn metallic room collapsed on my goddamn face with high rise moons and white and black curves and orgasms jetting from the gods of svelte consciousness and lace heaved and tits and fingers plied alleys of pink planets and dimples appeared on my lips
    and fingers and
    my goddamn cock became a fountain of jupiters and sun waves…. and my fingers prefer breasts to suns and the universe to gorgeous female ass….

  66. all the waves that melt from
    your now
    in this fucking moment
    please notice how
    you love fucking freedom
    and the majestic escape
    from hells across the globe
    run by men invested in
    handcuffs and demons
    straddling closed books
    we are on the verge of
    a newly emergent now
    filled with earth prisons
    and kill downs and depressed
    winds and clipped wings
    but all tyrannies have heads
    and scatter can fall when
    the tops are scissored…

    1. … scissored with modern visions
      … scissored with groping poetry
      … scissored with space logarithms
      ….scissored with goddamn red plains of motherfuckers stretching their human stuffs

      1. I must say, A C, that tonight I find you more reflective than a room full of mirrors.

        1. Rich, the aching valley… yawning into the majestic tomorrows… Rich, the bright shimmer… the deep glittering river swerving between the tree strings of innermost valleys hidden underneath the curving breasts of golden blonde suns.

  67. An After School Satan Club could be coming to your kid’s elementary school

    Meh. Most of the kids who join will do so because “It’s the ASS Club!”

    1. Ruh-roh ….

    2. Somebody’s lying, because the Snopes page in question doesn’t include any of that stuff and has a lot more evidence to show that there were flags present than the Daily Caller mentions.

      I suppose it’s possible that Snopes edited the article after the Daily Caller story, but considering the Daily Caller story contains several links, but none to the Snopes page that the story is supposedly about, it seems likely they’re the ones who are trying to fudge the truth.

      1. has a lot more evidence”

        … not that i give a flying fuck about flags….

        but the DC piece points out that the “Evidence” is also bullshit

        Snopes also used the below Media Matters clip from Fox News as “proof” that flags were present on day one of the convention. But that video, like Snopes’ borrowed screenshot, came from day two of the convention. That clip, like the above image, confirmed TheDC’s report that the flags which were missing on day one were added to the stage for day two.

        What’s more interesting about the piece is not ()#*$(@* flags…

        …but that so-called “respectable” media will go to such lengths, and make such mendacious, misleading arguments (*by “fact-checking” claims that were never made – changing “day 1” to “ever”;) over such unbelievably petty shit.

        1. Again, I didn’t see that image anywhere the Snopes article. They did have a wider image showing flags off to the right of the stage (not during the wheelchair lady’s speech), flags in the audience, etc.

          The Daily Caller not linking to the article they are criticizing just stinks of trying to get away with something.

          1. My point was not about taking sides but pointing out that even if true, Snopes tried to “fact check” a claim never made.

            the fact that they’re fighting about something so inconsequential is just proof my my last point. there’s no end to the shit people will dissimulate about, for no other reason than they can.

  68. lines slipped from broken hills of townes van zandt bandage my collapses on the dark highways beside the imagination horrors and red lines mixed with pink sun trips that glow across the versions of many a young mans long time.

  69. between the glib lies the misery
    between the drunken pause lies the pallid
    between the crust of rich and poor lies the pallor of confusion
    between the tyrannies and open societies lie the gods of escape from this FUCKING planet
    between the reality and news of tomorrow exists a million neighborhoods of dreams no one can reason…

  70. Time for some common-sense hot air balloon safety regulations.

    Hot air balloon with 16* aboard crashes in Texas; no survivors

    * more than died at any of the past decade’s so-called “mass shootings” except Newtown and Orlando

    1. Ban balloons! I can see the proggies trying to ban them. The FAA is involved already and the NTSB. The FAA can be a real Federal monster.

  71. gentle eyes and peaceful valleys
    rolling golden rod and soft ginko
    nations embracing exhale
    bombs and tubs of holocaust
    locked at the lost gates
    undersea hell imagined into
    understanding…
    gentle cures and sweet offerings
    dismantling the lost killers and
    majestic murder kings…
    may peace proliferate above us all forever…

  72. oceans don’t empty well
    but humans do
    skies don’t empty well
    but souls do
    space doesn’t empty well
    but you and I do….

    save humans…
    because colors and little dogs and kittens die when
    humans die… also, tall songs and steel letters that make very large fucking buildings of the mind…. these might die but i doubt it….
    save humans….
    and fucking suns… my fingers are on an unholy train typing shit no face would and so i have to plan an escape from my fingers and how this is evenpossible is a fucking guess only known by dragons and shit and so on …. fuck…

  73. jostling stars that wandered into my
    consciousness shadowed the oncoming
    dreams of that night for sure
    but hind sight was laced with loneliness
    and unsure tossings as the nasties
    of my torment collected under the stark naked moon and
    wailed and doffed like agile their slovenly drinks
    and shit and these creatures grew heavy with star
    tales and little doors of clapping go abouts
    and so this lines of letters was posted but the story
    escapes the fingers because a horror will not be
    captured or maybe it will and shit…a nd fucking so on
    lines are portals
    lines are tra[pdoors
    lines are ships
    lines are moons
    lines are suns
    lines are lies
    lines are hinges attached to you and me

  74. Yes, boys, you CAN have sex slaves: Outrage as British Muslim cleric at mosque where Cardiff jihadis were radicalised tells teenagers that ‘captives’ are permissible under Islam in vile sermon

    A hardline Muslim preacher suspected of radicalising three British jihadis told teenage disciples that it is ‘permissible’ under Islam to have sex slaves.

    Ali Hammuda, an Imam at a Cardiff mosque where three young jihadis from the city worshipped before travelling to Syria to join Islamic State, also told the group of boys as young as 13 that the ‘day of judgment is close’ ? a key part of IS’s warped propaganda.

    The revelations come amid heightened fears over the Islamist terror threat in the UK in the wake of the bloody attacks in France.

    Hammuda is still preaching at the same mosque, two years after the three ‘Cardiff jihadis’ ? Nasser Muthana and Reyaad Khan, then 20, and Muthana’s younger brother Aseel, then 17 ? left for Syria in 2014.

    1. The British have real issues with their Muslims, the Rotherham scandal revealed an immense amount on how Islam views sex slaves. Disgusting.

  75. wine makes eyes sparkle
    cocaine is knee gerbil
    chips often twist even the callous into grins
    really good chips will do this in fact…. twist the faces of even serial killers into odd grins
    chips are how humans cope with the tragedy of short life
    i would like to eat chips with boobs all the time…

  76. Yeah, beat me with the old fart nasty stick, but I watch several football games and several auto races per year; GoT or any other series you can name are right there with the Kumbaya craze in flying under my radar:

    “Saturday Nightmare: Netflix Website Down in US, Over a Dozen Other Countries”
    http://www.sfgate.com/entertai…..777974.php

    You mean maybe some people having dinner together will have to look up from their phones?!

    1. This is nothing = Kickass Torrents has been taken down~!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE

      1. Ya know, I managed to ‘repair’ the company web-site recently, but I had to look for this:

        “KickassTorrents (commonly abbreviated KAT) was a website that provided a directory for torrent files and magnet links to facilitate peer-to-peer file sharing using the BitTorrent protocol. It was founded in 2008 and went offline on 20 July 2016, when the domain was seized by the United States government.”
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KickassTorrents

  77. Supermarkets don’t sell bears
    goddamn dentists don’t sell vampire teeth
    and fucking restaurants don’t offer dragon
    tits.
    Hardware stores refuse to sell aliens
    and fucking family doctors run from
    topless blues…
    and modern politics? that shit runs from freedom… at ALL angles motherfuckers

    TrumpHillary sans fucking dummy froze ups….. Trump WILL win and HILLARY will start painting like Bush… and TRUMP can be great but he won’t because he is a goddamn dictator which America the culture hates…. so he will w.i.n. but sort of not and be generally awful unless the horrible shit learns to understand the history of his country which almost none of the previous presidents did and probably none in the foreseeable future will… and Hillary? and goddamn corrupt fish in a pond a billion times her size… she needs to go home while Trump finally destroys America… yay

  78. “Amid weed wars, stoned-driving laws still half-baked”
    […]
    “But the November ballot measure that would legalize recreational pot in California says nothing about how police should detect tokers who climb behind the wheel. There’s no marijuana equivalent to the famed blood-alcohol content tests ? taken by breath, blood or urine ? that have planted .08 into the American consciousness.”
    http://www.sfchronicle.com/sci…..765516.php (may be pay-walled)

    Yep, we’ve yet to find a real metric which allows society to extract money from those who might not be a danger at all!

    1. Maybe they should detect them by…seeing if they drive incorrectly, dangerously, or outside the limits of the law. Why would there be any need to identify pots smokers amongt the mass of law-abiding drivers?? If they want enhanced penalties for stoned violators of existing laws, fine, I guess, but no need to test “tokers who climb behind the wheel” until and unless it’s proven that they represent any kind of threat.

  79. Trump spends a wallet of minds on buildings.
    Hillary survives from decades of brutal strength.
    Trump lives in a gilded tower.
    Hillary lives in a government tower half-gilded.
    Trump is oddly godlike.
    Hillary is a confused queen.
    Trump is strangely wealthy.
    Hillary is strangely wealthy.
    Trump makes clouds dance.
    Hillary makes clouds disperse depending on the weather for said day.
    Trump is goddamn arrogant.
    Hillary is goddamn something.
    Trump is American asshole
    Hillary is American yawns
    Trump is the paragraph book of zeal poured into the beaker of fantasy
    Hillary is the goddamn verses of sharia poured into the Muslim dreams of American downfall…
    Bless this America…. rest assured ya’ll gotta be numbered and yo items transferred.

    the planet might well be headed into the next many years of human killings….. agile sees the future as bleak…
    do NOT fuck your girlfriend or wife this round… times are coming that will be challenge

    1. “Trump is the paragraph book of zeal poured into the beaker of fantasy”
      I’ll go for that; he’s certainly capable of phrases which are sufficiently lacking in detail to be of zealous fantasy…

      “Hillary is the goddamn verses of sharia poured into the Muslim dreams of American downfall…”
      I think you’re presuming an undetected direction on her part; she’ll manage a further downfall of the American experiment from her mere un-principled ambition and similar total lack of ethics.
      Please forgive my lack of poesy…

    2. Haha, I quite enjoyed that read.

    3. Trump lives in a gilded tower.
      Hillary lives in a government tower half-gilded.

      Hillary’s tower is gelded.

  80. Hudson . true that Chad `s blurb is flabbergasting… last week I got a gorgeous Alfa Romeo after having made $5229 this last 5 weeks and-over, $10k this past-munth . it’s actualy my favourite work I have ever had . I started this three months/ago and immediately started bringin home at least $80, per-hour . pop over to this website .

    ????????? http://www.maxincome20.com

  81. Hudson . true that Chad `s blurb is flabbergasting… last week I got a gorgeous Alfa Romeo after having made $5229 this last 5 weeks and-over, $10k this past-munth . it’s actualy my favourite work I have ever had . I started this three months/ago and immediately started bringin home at least $80, per-hour . pop over to this website .

    ????????? http://www.maxincome20.com

  82. When it comes to lawyers, Shakespeare had the right idea.

    1. One of Shakespeare’s villains said kill the lawyers, and while that was probably an applause line, it doesn’t mean Shakespeare agrees. He gives his villains lots of very good lines.

    2. One of Shakespeare’s villains said kill the lawyers, and while that was probably an applause line, it doesn’t mean Shakespeare agrees. He gives his villains lots of very good lines.

  83. I’ve made $64,000 so far this year working online and I’m a full time student. Im using an online business opportunity I heard about and I’ve made such great money. It’s really user friendly and I’m just so happy that I found out about it. Heres what I do,

    ————— http://UsatodayJobs.Nypost55.com

  84. I’ve made 64,000usd so far this year w0rking online and I’m a full time student. I’m using an online business opportunity I heard about my friend JGw and I’ve made such great money. It’s really user friendly and I’m just so happy that I found out about it.
    Here’s what I’ve been doing?
    http://www.Highpay90.com

  85. Move on.

    But the news isn’t all rosy for energy-drink makers and consumers. The lawsuit was just the latest threat against energy-drink makers.

    http://bestwishes2u.com
    http://www.newsmswishes.com

  86. while that was probably an applause line, it doesn’t mean Shakespeare agrees. He gives his villains lots of very good lines.
    http://valentinesdatesheet.com

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