A.M. Links: Melania Trump Plagiarizes Michelle Obama, RNC Day 2, ISIS Claims Responsibility for German Ax Attack

• 

  Anthony Fisher

  Get ready for day two of the Republican National Convention.

• In her speech at the Republican National Convention last night, Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama.
• ISIS has claimed responsibility for Monday's ax and knife attack on a German train.
• Who will Hillary Clinton pick as her running mate?
• How Gary Johnson is impacting the 2016 presidential race.
• "The Turkish government's crackdown after a military coup attempt widened into a sweeping purge on Monday, cutting a swath through the security services and reaching deeply into the government bureaucracy and the political and business classes."

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Get ready for day two of the Republican National Convention.

WHY ARE YOU ONLY BASHING REPUBLICANS THIS WEEK, WHAT ABOUT HITLARY?

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

"In her speech at the Republican National Convention last night, Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama."

Now that's desperate!

[UnCivilServant]

a person giving a speech no one watched quoted a speech no one watched.

yawn.

Oh, and hello.

[Rich]

At least she didn't rip off Michelle's Princeton thesis.

[Rufus The Monocled]

"DEDICATION

To Mom, Dad, Craig, and all of my special friends:

Thank-you for loving me and always making me feel good about
myself."

Gross.

[Rich]

Oh, keep reading, Rufus.

It gets a *lot* "better".

[Bubba Jones]

She has been a lazy race baiter since the beginning.

[PBR Streetgang]

Speechwriter went rogue and set her up. Calling it now.

[commoditous]

Idiots drumming up controversy to keep Trump in the headlines forever. And by idiots I mean Manafort et al.

[Krabappel]

Yeah, this is likely. Also, it's funny that the speech writers are acting like what they write is so meaningful that plagiarizing it is terrible. They're all just a bunch of empty gasbag statements with no real substance.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

"Bitch set me up!"

[Swiss Servator]

+1 Marion Barry

[Spartacus]

I don't think so. There are only so many tired clich?s in the world, and since wife-speeches are composed entirely of them, you are bound to see some duplication every now and then.

[Tom Bombadil]

I'm assuming she didnt say:

"This is the first time in my life I'm proud to be an American".

[Rich]

That would have been *awesome*.

[hpearce]

It may be a LIE to by Reason too !

I have yet to see any claim by her that everything was taken from her mind only. Plagiarizing requires that one CLAIM someone else's words are one's own OR pass them off as one's own. Neither of these have I seen yet.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Yeah, I remember when I turned in a paper for speech class that one time that was just a copy of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. The teacher was mad at first, but I just told her "It's OK!! I never CLAIMED that these were my words, so it's not REALLY plagiarism!!" And the teacher gave me an A+.

Oh, also Paul Manafort said: "there is no cribbing of Michelle Obama's speech." so you're full of BS. They totes claimed originality.

[CE]

Don't news writers usually use words like "was accused of" or "appears to have" or "may have"?

Saying "Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama" is a pretty strong accusation without any proof of what happened.

[0x90]

"An alleged act of plagiarism occurred in the vicinity of Ms. Trump, while a speech appeared to have been being given by her."

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

In her speech at the Republican National Convention last night, Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama.

To be fair, all Democrats are just plagiarizing Aaron Sorkin.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

C'mon, Melania, could you at least plagiarize from somebody decent? Maybe not pick what must be one of the most boring, platitude-ridden speeches ever given?

[Citizen X]

Well, it's not like she's fluent in English, so how's she supposed to know how it comes across?

[Lee Genes]

She was jsut trying to fit in with the rest of them

[Rich]

Anon-bot?

[Atanarjuat]

Prediction: she gets the Sarah Palin treatment. They're already saying she plagiarized the whole speech on fb, not just two lines.

I think maybe former beauty queens/supermodels are the last acceptable (female) target of public ridicule.

[pan fried wylie]

not moms who leave the kid in the car unattended for 2mins?

[(((Renegade)))]

The ones who lock their kids in the trunk of a Corvette are much hotter.

[Citizen X]

She looks fun.

[Rich]

I'll bet Crusty would like to put his kids in her trunk.

[Crusty Juggler]

She has a wonderful smile. I rode in the trunk of a Corvette when I was young. I turned out alright.

[(((Renegade)))]

I would like to put my potential kids in her trunk.

[Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair]

Uhhh .... you put 'em in her trunk, you don't get kids (isn't that the old joke aboout where lawyers come from?).

[Bubba Jones]

Apparently she was supposed to let her kids walk home.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I think maybe former beauty queens/supermodels any women that can have an (R) attached to them are the last acceptable (female) target of public ridicule

[Trigger Warning]

Fat people and smokers.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Who will Hillary Clinton pick as her running mate?

Please be Fauxahontas.

[straffinrun]

Running mate make a good wampum.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

But first they must smoke peace pipe together.

[straffinrun]

Trade you these beads for Manhattan. Or a donation to my foundation?

[Just a thought not a sermon]

First, you'll take Manhattan
Then donate Clinton

[Rich]

And "bury the hatchet".

[straffinrun]

*Wounds Rich's Knee for that*

[Rich]

More like *Wounds Huma's Knee for that*, amirite?

[SugarFree]

The Incident At Wounded Huma Knee

[straffinrun]

*Single tear rolls down cheek.*

[Rich]

Am I a bad person for LOLing at that?

[SugarFree]

No. I always laugh when straffinrun cries.

[straffinrun]

Melpomenninrun.

[Elspeth Flashman]

Yes, yes you are. Next question?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You are not a bad person for LOLing at that.

[Rufus The Monocled]

I can hold my tongue no more.

Isn't Fakeahontas better?

[Crusty Juggler]

"Big Suckem Choad."

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Enough with your fantasies! Have some pride!

*Shudders*

[Just a thought not a sermon]

202) Islamic State claims Afghan teen implicated in German train attack as its own

Geez, even the Washington Post is noticing these attacks now.

" According to eyewitness accounts, including one from a train passenger who phoned the police to report the attack, the young man exclaimed "Allahu Akbar"?as he slashed at passengers with the ax and knife" but the Bavarian Interior Minister "said that additional investigation was needed to determine the motivation." Keep investigating, you'll figure it out someday?

Also, there's this little detail: "the suspect? mov[ed] in with a foster family in a suburb of W?rzburg two weeks ago." Way to pay back your welcome, kid.

[WTF]

ISIS has claimed responsibility for Monday's ax and knife attack on a German train.

The attacker's motives remain a mystery.

[straffinrun]

They hate trains! Stay away from the trains!

[WTF]

And fireworks! They hate fireworks too!

[Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair]

Especially the 500 pound variety and the Hellfire variety.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Or its nationality.

DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.

[Fist of Etiquette]

WARNING: THERE'S ALREADY AN OFFICIAL LINK FOR THIS.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Whew, thanks! I almost clicked on both of them.

[commoditous]

Don't cross the streams!

[Free Society]

Inshallah.

[Rhywun]

"the suspect? mov[ed] in with a foster family in a suburb of W?rzburg two weeks ago."

I lived in W?rzburg for a year - beautiful place now briefly stunk up by this POS. I bet families will think twice before making that mistake again.

[Free Society]

I bet families will think twice before making that mistake again.

You're joking, I assume? Off the top of my head and just in the last year or so I can remember three separate instances of rape victims trying to protect their rapist because they don't want to seem racist or anti-migrant or wish to see their rapist deported. This virtue signalling psychosis runs deep.

[Fist of Etiquette]

In her speech at the Republican National Convention last night, Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama.

Michelle Obama being the originator of the meaningless platitude.

[WTF]

Yes, repeating cliches is now plagiarizing.

[Doctor Whom]

Certain things in political speeches should be held to count as sc?nes ? faire.

[WTF]

Exactly.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Who's on first.

[Isaac Bartram]

This was way more than "repeating cliches", it was practically word for word. One cliche might be a coincidence but all of the exact same ones in the exact same order...?

I can't imagine what the handlers were thinking. Some speechwriter's head is going to roll, or is this part of the Donald's cunning plan?

[Inigo Montoya]

Maybe the Donald himself wrote that speech. That would make him more of a cunning planner than a cunning linguist.

[0x90]

Cunning planner, or punning Klanner?

[Krabappel]

Someone must have leaked it to the media because 1. no one remembers Michele Obama's speech and 2. the media rarely does any actual investigating of anything

[Free Society]

Someone must have leaked it to the media because 1. no one remembers Michele Obama's speech and 2. the media rarely does any actual investigating of anything

This. It's as though Melania stepped right into a trap. It's just too odd.

I have very little reason to believe that 1) Melania writes her own speeches , 2) that Melania heard or retained knowledge of Chewbacca's speeches or 3) that even if she did write her own speeches, and even if she did listen to Michelle Obama speak, that she would then plagiarize the dumb wookie and finally 4) that even if she did plagiarize Michelle Obama that it would be caught within hours, or less, of actually giving the speech.

But the media would never stoop so low as to manufacture bad press for a candidate, so that can't be it either...

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

There are easy to use applications to check written documents for plagiarism.

Academics use them all the time for checking freshman essay submissions.

That made this really easy for someone to find... and makes this either a.) entirely ham-handed or 3.) four dimensional checkers.

[VG Zaytsev]

Is this really bad press though?

The media is going to have a full on hissy fit, "OMG plagiarism, that's the worst thing Evah" and mos people,are going to be like what's the BFD. And then the media will ramp it up with ad hominem attacks which will create sympathy for Melania.

And then Trump will cap it off with a tweet about crooked Hillary smearing another fine woman like she did to Bills victims.

The trap is set for someone, but I don't think it's Melania.

[Free Society]

These media cycles will backfire against them only until it doesn't anymore. At some point there will be a gaffe or revelation that will seem mundane compared to all the past attempts at ad hominem and yet it will stick and do real harm to Trump. If the media spends enough time and effort throwing shit at the wall, eventually a turd will stick.

[R C Dean]

Is this really bad press though?

Nope. It saved the news cycle for yesterday for the Trump campaign.

Instead of being "Nascent rebellion on convention floor brutally quashed by GOP insiders", its "Let's attack a candidate's wife".

Trump pulled out a win at the buzzer on this one.

[CE]

Maybe Trump is playing 5-dimensional Pokemon.

[lap83]

The media is so weirdly enamored with her though. At least they remember what she was wearing. Maybe she had a copy of the speech pinned onto the lining of her jacket and that's how they remember it?

[Krabappel]

I consider all the fawning "she's so glamorous!" statements to be along the same lines as Joe Biden calling Barack Obama "so well spoken!".

[Isaac Bartram]

Democrat first ladies are always ultraglamorous superintelligent geniuses who wold be president themselves instead of their husbands if it wasn't for the oppressive male hierarchy. Or something.

[Pi Guy]

+1 clean and articulate

[Isaac Bartram]

They interviewed the guy who seems to have first tweeted this on the Beeb this AM. It was kinda of creepy to hear him say that he recognized the speech. In his words (paraphrased) it was like watching a movie you've seen before.."

I've got to admit you'd have to be a serious Obama groupie to remember a speech MO gave eight years ago in such detail, but then such is the Obama cult that i wouldn't be surprised if there were people who had both Obamas' speeches playing on continuous loops all day long.

Still, this looks bad for the campaign. Its not going to affect the diehards (anymore than BHO's flubs have affected the Obama cult), but it's bound to cause a lot of the great middle to rethink Trump.

[Agent Cooper]

This is so Donald can go out and say "You asshats made Joe Biden Vice President, so plagiarizing isn't a big deal, is it?"

[Agent Cooper]

This is so Donald can go out and say "You asshats made Joe Biden Vice President, so plagiarizing isn't a big deal, is it?"

[Swiss Servator]

And the squirrelz agree.

[CE]

Here's how it may have gone down:

Melania: I don't know what to say in my speech!
Donald: Don't worry, Don Jr. will help you write it.
Don Jr searches for previous presidential candidate's wife's speech on YouTube, figures no one remembers it, and changes a few details.
Don Jr: Here mom.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

"The Turkish government's crackdown after a military coup attempt widened into a sweeping purge on Monday, cutting a swath through the security services and reaching deeply into the government bureaucracy and the political and business classes."

You know who else instituted a far-reaching purge in wake of a challenge to their leadership?

[Rich]

The manufacturers of magnesium citrate?

[Swiss Servator]

Syrup of ipecac brokers?

[Atanarjuat]

Bulimics?

[Swiss Servator]

*applause*

[Citizen X]

3 Ballerina Tea?

[commoditous]

Brexit Tories?

[DenverJ]

Donald Trump?

[Crusty Juggler]

Katherine Mangu-Ward?

[bacon-magic]

You leave our purple haired goddess alone! She picks on Robby.

[Inigo Montoya]

A chain of colonic clinics in California?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You mean Starbucks?

[Chip Woodier]

Well, fuck. I'll say it. Cersei Lannister. There.

[CE]

Genghis Khan?

[Lord Humungus]

Police look for victim in body-shaming photo taken by Playboy model at L.A. gym

"Without a victim, we can't go forward," LAPD spokeswoman Officer Jenny Houser said.

Detectives need the woman to contact police, so they can continue to investigate the misdemeanor offense, she said. Houser urged the victim to report the incident to any Los Angeles police station, or call Crime Stoppers at (800) 222-TIPS (8477).

Detectives had been looking into the matter after receiving a report from LA Fitness of "illegal distribution" of the image, LAPD Capt. Andrew Neiman said.

Mathers was slammed by the public on social media after she shared the photo on Snapchat of the naked woman inside the gym's locker room with the caption: "If I can't unsee this then you can't either."

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Ooh, ooh, it's me, I'm the hag!

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's not really the body-shaming but locker room photos in general. Big breech of decorum. Which is annoying because I can never seem to get people to take pics of me in there, no matter how much I walk around, towel slung over my shoulder.

[SugarFree]

Oh, so you're the old guy who towel-dries his balls for an hour.

[Citizen X]

Eugene is this guy, it is known.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

He's the guy who towelair-dries his balls for an hour, while talking to you, with one leg up on the bench you're currently sitting on.

And them balls hang down 6".

Swaying as he talks...

The horror... The horror...

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

He air-dries his balls for an hour.

While talking to you with his foot up on the bench you're sitting on.

And his balls hang down 6".

And sway to the beat of his conversation in a hypnotic rhythm...

The horror... the horror...

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Fucking squirrelz.

Said 404 error on first submit.

[Free Society]

The second one is better, it's a got a literary quality. I could almost feel the air displaced by his swaying balls.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Why we need a preview?

[WTF]

Making fun of fat people going to the gym is like making fun of alcoholics going to AA.

[Doctor Whom]

The way I heard it was unemployed people at a job fair.

[UnCivilServant]

Unemployed and alcoholic. Man, getting back into the job market is going to be tough.

[Zeb]

Too bad they don't have to look for a victim before they can arrest someone for drugs, or an unregistered gun.

[lap83]

"body-shaming"
Do we have to use this term? It's not like people saying unkind things when Lena Dunham voluntarily posts her flabby body online. It was more like an invasion of privacy.

[lap83]

and I don't know, maybe it's not illegal to do it, but it's still rude

[commoditous]

"Dani Mathers pulls publicity stunt, LAPD obliges."

[Bubba Jones]

Why do they need a specific victim? Is it because they haven't explicitly outlawed photographs in locker rooms?

[Fist of Etiquette]

ISIS has claimed responsibility for Monday's ax and knife attack on a German train.

Now they're just claiming any crazy Muslim extremism as their own.

[Rich]

Pour encourager les autres.

[Agent Cooper]

This is what I think. The only membership to ISIS you need is to yell Allahu Akbar before doing anything.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

"Allahu Akbar!!"

*Files Taxes*

[prolefeed]

Still waiting for the "responsible ax and knife control" speeches.

[Rhywun]

^This. Who's going to vet it?

[Lord Humungus]

STEVE SMITH GO: PART 2

Pennsylvania mountain is hot spot for Bigfoot sightings

When 18-year old Becky Lindholl went for a jog at Rockton Mountain, Clearfield County, she had no idea of the horror that awaited her. During her first and last trip into the mountain, she stared into the woods. Becky said she saw Bigfoot staring right back.

This is an average day in Rockton Mountain, where more than 30 Bigfoot sightings have been reported since the 1970s. Becky's father, Steve Lindholl, owns Rockton's Over the Mountain Restaurant, which he calls the local "Bigfoot headquarters." He feeds the Pennsylvania Bigfoot Society (PBS) when members come to Rockton in search of the mysterious creature.

Those who study Bigfoot and other mysterious creatures are called cryptozoologists. One of them is Stan Gordon, a researcher from Greensburg, Westmoreland County, who claims to have been tracking Bigfoot since 1959. Over the decades, he has investigated dozens of reported sightings. There have been five sightings reported by the PBS in Berks County. In 2007, one hunter claimed to have shot at a hostile Bigfoot.

[(((Renegade)))]

Ummm.... Warty.

[SugarFree]

SHOOT AT STEVE SMITH YOU BETTER KILL STEVE SMITH!

[invisible furry hand]

Yeah, cos if you miss he thinks you're flirting

[Citizen X]

GIGANTOPITHECUS HAVE THICK SKULL. IT TAKE POWERFUL BULLET STOP STEVE SMITH FROM RAPE.

[Swiss Servator]

"That one is worse than the Cape Buffalo. You have one shot, miss and you are raped to death!"

[Just a thought not a sermon]

"Those who study Bigfoot and other mysterious creatures are called cryptozoologists"

See, this is that the most recent Ghostbusters movie should have been about.

[SugarFree]

They would have caught Melissa McCarthy in the first five minutes. That's a pretty short feature film.

[Suthenboy]

That's not what I call 'em.

[PBR Streetgang]

"Becky's father, Steve Lindholl, owns Rockton's Over the Mountain Restaurant, which he calls the local "Bigfoot headquarters." -
Oh, its marketing. I see

[commoditous]

Becky's father, Steve Lindholl, owns Rockton's Over the Mountain Restaurant, which he calls the local "Bigfoot headquarters." He feeds the Pennsylvania Bigfoot Society (PBS) when members come to Rockton in search of the mysterious creature.

Oh jeez you people.

[Elspeth Flashman]

Or is this a Warty hotspot? I need more free items in my pokebag.

[Swiss Servator]

You....you...don't want Warty candy. Trust me.

[SugarFree]

That breed of pokemon has a tendency to turn on its trainers.

[bacon-magic]

Doomcockachu I choose you! Dungeon gym ain't so bad, 3 bowls of gruel and a nice firm rack to sleep on.

[Citizen X]

Don't inquire too closely into the contents of the gruel.

[R C Dean]

The words "Warty" and "pokebag" should never be in the same sentence.

[db]

I don't know what is more disturbing: a Sasquatch story or the fact that you must have a Reading Eagle subscription.

[(((Renegade)))]

In her speech at the Republican National Convention last night, Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama.

"Waste, fraud, and abuse."

[Pat (PM)]

They should make that into a 3 letter agency. It might be the only one that is accurate.

[Rich]

*Please* let it be "FAW"!

[Inigo Montoya]

If he wins, he can add a new cabinet-level department: Fraud, Abuse and Pandering (FAP) and name the First Lady as Secretary.

[Atanarjuat]

Trump could offer the job to Hillary in case she loses.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Turkish government's crackdown after a military coup attempt widened into a sweeping purge on Monday...

It's almost like a genocide on the opposition race.

[bacon-magic]

Armenians agree.

[Lord Humungus]

Police across US patrolling in pairs after ambush attacks

Police departments across the country are ordering officers to pair up after ambush attacks left eight officers dead in Texas and Louisiana, a precaution that could slow response times to low-level crimes and drive up overtime for already exhausted police.

Some agencies that normally let officers patrol alone began forcing them to double up throughout their shifts, even during meals or other breaks during their shifts.

Los Angeles police assigned members of specialized crime-fighting units to back up officers responding to routine calls. Baltimore police began sending two squad cars to every call received. Dispatchers in Denver urged officers to travel in pairs indefinitely and "keep their head on a swivel" to protect themselves against the new threat. Police in Fort Worth extended the order beyond their uniformed officers to plainclothes detectives and high-ranking supervisors.

[(((Renegade)))]

"Union approves." The sweet, sweet OT pay...

[sarcasmic]

I am honestly surprised that no one has been gunned down for giving some jumpy cops a sideways glance.

[straffinrun]

The thin blue line has been replaced with long, brown skid mark.

[Atanarjuat]

Genius.

[WTF]

Yet. Anyway, how would we know? It would be listed as "Resisting arrest, assault on officer, reached for waistband furtively," etc.

[invisible furry hand]

"reached for waistband furtively,"

And all he wanted to do was masturbate

[blighted non millenial]

Are we not doing euphemisms anymore?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

We can't do it any more.

Every post is already a euphemism.

[Florida Hipster]

It's all any of us want to do.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Covering half the ground means hassling fewer civilians and collecting less revenue for municipalities? This can't stand much longer.

[Swiss Servator]

"members of specialized crime-fighting units"

And you thought all cops were supposed to "fight crime"...

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

specialized crime-fighting units == murder squads?

[SugarFree]

In her speech at the Republican National Convention last night, Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama.

Did she roar like a wookie and knock the podium over with her giant man dick? No? Then no plagiarism occurred.

[bacon-magic]

I'm surprised you haven't done a hyena gender version of your famous pron yet.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

you just haven't been paying attention... or you're blocking it out.

[Rich]

Vilsack, the single prospect who has had a long personal relationship with the former secretary of state, dating back decades before they served four years in the same Cabinet.

Why didn't they keep dating right up until they served together?

[invisible furry hand]

You'll be leased to know that Joe Biden gave me the shits today. Because he visited the short street i work on, the place was swarming with police (who were bloody rude) telling some of us (but not all) not to jaywalk but to cross at the lights for fear we would be struck by his motorcade, when it eventually turned up. 37 cars in his motorcade, FFS. What a wank.

/rant

[Citizen X]

WELCOME TO THE AMERICAN EMPIRE.

[UnCivilServant]

Biden doesn't need tow cars in his motorcade.

Or one.

He should just be put in a small room with a school desk and told to keep his hands to himself.

We certainly should be foisting him upon the antipodes.

[Citizen X]

"Foisting upon the antipodes" is a goddamn beautiful masturbation euphemism.

[SugarFree]

Feasting On The Antipopes: The Tone Poems of Agile Cyborg

[Pat (PM)]

USA! USA! USA!

[Fist of Etiquette]

If only there were always railroad tracks from wherever Joe is to where he wants to be.

[UnCivilServant]

Give him a Stereoscope and tell him he's already there.

[SugarFree]

Run, bitch! He gonna molest you!

[commoditous]

Hide yo' daughters hide yo' wife

[Elspeth Flashman]

So when did the shits happen? /asking for a friend.

[invisible furry hand]

er, not literally. Do you not use this helpful expression for getting annoyed / angry (see also the variant "crack the shits")?

[commoditous]

Given it's America, we usually go with "all methed up."

[SugarFree]

No, it usually only means diarrhea here. "Out of my fucking way! I've got the shits!"

[commoditous]

Speaking of colloquial differences, tell me if I'm right about this. It's just an instant but the way they stop short and the brief look of incredulity they give her seems too apropos.

[invisible furry hand]

That doesn't seem to be in that clip, but yep, fanny = a lady's magic garden. Also, we and Kiwis say biscuits, and we don't put them in bumbags, so it's all incomprehensible to us.

[Isaac Bartram]

Yes, you are.

Also, if you go to a sporting event in Australia do not ask anyone which team they are "rooting" for.

[commoditous]

See, I did learn something from binging Housos.

[Cdr Lytton]

37 cars.. shotgunning his way through the traffic.

[Lord Humungus]

The man who could have stopped Donald Trump: Matt Drudge

CNN couldn't stop Donald Trump. Neither could Fox News.

Some of the nation's most influential conservatives, from Glenn Beck to Bill Kristol, were powerless. Karl Rove and the Bush family had no effect. Scandal after scandal failed to put a chink in his armor.

And the 16 other GOP contenders, comprising some of the party's brightest and budding stars, proved to be impotent.

But some observers say that one man may have had the power to prevent Donald Trump's accession within the Republican Party: Matt Drudge.

"If Drudge had come out really negatively against Trump and had supported someone who would have played well with his reader base like Cruz, it would have been much harder for Trump to win," BuzzFeed political reporter and editor Andrew Kaczynski told Business Insider, referring to Texas Sen. Ted Cruz.

[Trump's Penis Logo, Jr.]

"If Drudge had come out really negatively against Trump and had supported someone who would have played well with his reader base like Cruz, it would have been much harder for Trump to win," BuzzFeed political reporter and editor Andrew Kaczynski told Business Insider

Good thing the media never abuses its power like that.

[Florida Hipster]

Can I use the "what if machine" next?

[Trump's Penis Logo, Jr.]

Would you just wait!? I'm trying to kill Hitler over here.

[Florida Hipster]

Baby or grown Hitler?

[Swiss Servator]

Obligatory.

https://xkcd.com/1063/

[Florida Hipster]

Nice.

[Citizen X]

Hell of a euphemism you got there.

[OBJ FRANKELSON]

No because you will use it to find out what would have happened if we evolved with our genitals on our foreheads... again.

[Florida Hipster]

I know. I wanted to see it again.

[Bubba Jones]

What if Mike Ditka had run against Obama?

[This Machine]

BLUF: Politicians and political journalists with inflated sense of self-importance wonder why the unwashed masses would vote for a buffoon; blame other journalist instead of seeing opportunity for introspection.

Cruz, frustrated in the final days of his campaign, decried the Drudge Report as an "attack site" for Trump.

"I don't know what the hell happened to Matt Drudge," echoed Glenn Beck, the prominent conservative talk-show host and founder of TheBlaze, in March.

Two months earlier, Cruz had taken a different tone, confidently assuring supporters that "we have got the Drudge Report" amid slamming more mainstream outlets. For a while, he did appear to have Drudge, but that changed once he and Trump veered toward a head-to-head clash for the nomination.

So would the Republican primary have unfolded differently had Drudge been critical of Trump or simply remained neutral?

"He still could have ... won," Kaczynski said, "but the fact Drudge either boosted or ignored his worst flaws was definitely a positive for Trump."

[Bob Meyer]

Jeb was what made Trump inevitable. Once the Republican party made it clear that they were going to nominate one of the hereditary princes of the party the rebellion began. As with most rebellions, the worst idiot will come to the top of the heap by telling people what they want to hear. Who better to answer the clarion call for an idiot than an ignorant wind bag like Trump?

Thank you Jeb and the RNC for making America grate (on my nerves) again.

[Lord Humungus]

U.S. police deaths build momentum for law to treat attacks as hate crimes

When the U.S. Congress returns in September from a summer recess, it is expected to consider legislation called the Blue Lives Matter Act that would make killing a police officer a hate crime, a step first taken by Louisiana earlier this year.

Debate in Louisiana over the law enacted in May pitted police unions, which supported tougher hate-crime sentences for police assailants, against civil rights groups, which felt police did not face the historic discrimination hate-crime laws were intended to address.

The Louisiana debate could play out on a national stage with the Blue Lives Matter Act as police shooting deaths this month in Dallas and Baton Rouge stoke momentum for action to combat violence against police and build support for the law.

"Since the Baton Rouge tragedy, we've received calls and messages from around the country from individuals asking about the Blue Lives Matter Act, and we're confident more members of Congress will be co-sponsoring the legislation as soon as they can when Congress reconvenes," said Kyle Huwa, a spokesman for the bill's author, Colorado Republican Representative Ken Buck.

[Chip Woodier]

IF CRIMINALS SMART THEY COMMIT ONLY LOVE CRIMES LIKE STEVE SMITH

[Number 2]

So much for federalism, for a federal government of limited powers, for the reading of the commerce clause in a manner that the Founders intended, for criminal law reform, etc.

Too bad there isn't a libertarian publication that would address the merits of such a misguided proposal instead of discussing whether capital "T's" look like penises.

[0x90]

Maddening. It's different to discriminate against someone based on what they are, as opposed to what they choose to do. Your height, eye color, skin color... these things don't tell me anything about you, but you weren't born a cop, and your daily choice to go on being one, well that really does.

[Domestic Dissident]

Hopefully this doesn't mean that first lady Melania is going to be a thoughtless, disgusting pig and waste millions and millions of taxpayer dollars on frivolous, unnecessary vacation junkets with her mother and daughters.

[Rufus The Monocled]

She does have a certain 'I'm gonna milk this for all its worth' kinda look to her. I wonder if she's still proud of her country for the first time.

'

[Zeb]

I wouldn't count on it. I don't think she married Donald for his looks.

[Elspeth Flashman]

As long as she doesn't give us all her "diet" suggestions.

[Florida Hipster]

Eating cotton balls isn't so bad.

[straffinrun]

Good Trump nickname.

[Swiss Servator]

"Crooked" Hillary vs "Cotton Balls" Trump. The loser? All of us.

[straffinrun]

The question is: Did Hillary's bent channel make Bill crooked or did Bill's bent slick willy make Hillary crooked?

[Florida Hipster]

I picked the wrong election cycle to quit jenkem.

[Citizen X]

We all did, man. We all did.

[Bob Meyer]

If it gets her out of the country, it's worth it.

[Lord Humungus]

GOP passes rules vote over outcry from Trump opponents

The Republican National Committee ignored an outcry from angry delegates on the GOP convention's first day and adopted the convention's rules by a voice vote.

The move prompted an eruption from the crowd, with people chanting "roll call vote" and yelling "point of order."

To counter those efforts, delegate operatives for presumptive presidential nominee Donald Trump, adorned in neon-green hats, led chants of "Trump!" and "USA!" to drown out the protesters.

"I have never seen anything like this," said Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah), a close ally of Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), a rival to Trump during the primary season.

"There is no precedent for this," Lee said.

[Suthenboy]

Lee was pretty apoplectic. The whole establishment, whom I did not think Lee supported, is losing their shit. They cant believe they are being unseated.

It is a joy to watch. Stupid motherfuckers had 8 years to fight tooth and nail and all they did was turn around and pull down their pants and our pants too.

Fuck. Them.

[commoditous]

And it's going to be just as entertaining watching Trump merrily ceding victory to Hillary in November. I bet he phones it in early, around ten ET, and leaves the phone of the hook. Dumb nationalist fucksticks taking over a sinking ship.

[invisible furry hand]

The new science of cute

Kumamon, a cartoon bear created to promote tourism in an overlooked part of Japan, has become a billion-dollar phenomenon. Now, a new academic field is trying to pinpoint what makes things cute ? and why we can't resist them

[Pat (PM)]

Domo Kun (is greater than) Kumamon.

[WTF]

*Googles "Domo Kun"*

The fuck?!

[AlexInCT]

is that some anagram for Bukkake?

[This Machine]

+1 grue

[Rich]

There is the whole class of kimo?kawaii, or "gross-cute", epitomised by Gloomy, a pink bear whose claws are red with the blood of his child owner, whom he habitually mauls.

Good stuff, ifh.

[Swiss Servator]

What?!

*gives up ever trying to understand the inscrutable Orient*

[Lord Humungus]

The Sudden, Short-Lived Objection to Political Speeches from Grieving Mothers

Pat Smith: 'I Blame Hillary Clinton Personally for the Death of my Son.'

Hey, remember when grieving mothers of American men slain in battle had "absolute moral authority," in the words of New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd?

Why would Pat Smith, mother of Sean Smith, one of the four Americans killed in the attack in Benghazi on September 11, 2012, not have that same authority?

...

If you're one of those folks who found Pat Smith's remarks shamelessly exploitative, I wonder if you'll see the same grumbling about the speakers at the upcoming Democratic National Convention:

Also scheduled Tuesday are Mothers of the Movement members Gwen Carr, Mother of Eric Garner; Sybrina Fulton, Mother of Trayvon Martin; Maria Hamilton, Mother of Dontr? Hamilton; Lucia McBath, Mother of Jordan Davis; Lezley McSpadden, Mother of Michael Brown; Cleopatra Pendleton-Cowley, Mother of Hadiya Pendleton; Geneva Reed-Veal, Mother of Sandra Bland.

[robc]

Anyone else notice the disconnect between mother/child last names on the D list.

[Rich]

RACIST!

[straffinrun]

Bastard!

[Swiss Servator]

*standing ovation*

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Don't fathers grieve for their dead children too? Or can they not be pulled away from the bar for long enough to give a speech?

[UnCivilServant]

It's less effective at playing the heartstrings because no one gives a damn if they're grieving.

[WTF]

Yeah, they're only men, and therefore not even the primary victims of their own deaths.

[blighted non millenial]

Women, children and minorities hardest hit.

[Trump's Penis Logo, Jr.]

It's about time mothers got some political traction in this country.

[commoditous]

Mother of Trayvon Martin

Is this still a thing?

[bacon-magic]

+1 white hispanic

[Lord Humungus]

Foreign ownership of US debt slips again in May

The Treasury Department says total foreign holdings dropped 0.5 percent to $6.21 trillion after slipping 0.8 percent to $6.24 trillion in April.

Japan, the second-biggest foreign owner of Treasury securities, reduced its holdings by 0.8 percent to $1.13 trillion. China, the biggest foreign investor in Treasurys, increased its holdings slightly to $1.24 trillion.

The national debt is nearly $19.4 trillion and is expected to grow, which means the United States will need foreigners to keep buying Treasury securities.

Of the debt total, nearly $14 trillion is publicly traded on financial markets. The rest is money the government owes itself, including holdings in the Social Security trust fund.

LOCK BOX!! LOCKBOX!

[Lord Humungus]

Fewer than half of those nabbed at the border are from Mexico

Not everyone who gets apprehended at the U.S.-Mexico border is from Mexico.

In the first six months of the year, 264,165 people were apprehended somewhere along the Southwest border, and 49.6 percent of them were from Mexico, according to data from the U.S. Border Patrol.

The map below shows the number of people apprehended, by country. Use the search bar for specific countries, or hover and zoom over the map.

1. Mexico, 131,138
2. Guatemala 45,604
3. El Salvador 44,574
4. Honduras 30,585
5. India 2,867
6. Brazil 1,841
7. Equador 1,770
8. China 1,498
9. Romania 1,307
10. Nicaragua 730

Also, six Canadians took the long way back home.

[SugarFree]

Also, six Canadians took the long way back home.

C'mon. They just lost their IDs in a bordello.

Wait. That's a good idea for a movie.

[Lord Humungus]

Too bad John Candy is dead. He would have been great as the sidekick.

[SugarFree]

Or the coyote they have to have sex with in order to cross the border.

[commoditous]

Ew, even for you.

[blighted non millenial]

They aren't sending their best coyotes.

[Bob Meyer]

The send badgers disguised as coyotes.

[Citizen X]

Fucking Romanians, man.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm surprised Mexico hasn't secured its southern border yet.

[R C Dean]

I'm surprised Mexico hasn't secured its southern border yet.

No need. It just puts them on trains to its northern border. They wind up on the other side of a border, so its all good.

[Spoonman.]

I'm surprised how few Venezuelans are trying to get in.

[robc]

Colombia is closer.

[robc]

And on the way.

[blighted non millenial]

They aren't sending their best coyotes.

[blighted non millenial]

Doh! Threading FTL!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Let's be real though: the Melania flap is the biggest non-issue ever considering the freak show of speakers that preceded her.

[Crusty Juggler]

the Melania flap

You're better than this.

[Citizen X]

No he's not.

[Col. Chestbridge]

He's just channeling his inner John, in the spirit of the convention.

[Agent Cooper]

They're probably not too big and chewy.

[Number 2]

In approximately one week we had the "Melania plagerized Michelle" flap, the "it's a Star of David" flap, and, the most idiotic of all, the "his logo looks like a penis" flap. That Reason Magazine actually devoted an entire serious article to the penis flap is an embarrassment.

And we have four months of this nonsense yet to go.

I swear to God, they are doing everything in their power to turn me into a Trump supporter.

[Citizen X]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

A "serious" article?

[Bubba Jones]

CIRCUMCISION

[Crusty Juggler]

Healthy eating can include 'a lot' of fat, analysis of 56 diet studies concludes

The Mediterranean diet not only appeared to reduce a person's risk of heart issues but also seemed to have benefits in connection with breast cancer and type 2 diabetes.

So how much fat can you eat? According to Bloomfield, "a lot," but this rule doesn't apply to all fats.

"If you are eating healthy fats that are monounsaturated fats like olive oil or canola oil, you don't necessarily have to limit them. But that doesn't mean you should be going out and filling up on bakery products that have saturated fats," she explained in an interview.

She said the study supports the idea that eating healthy fats may fill you up more than carbohydrates, and the misplaced emphasis over the past 30 years on eating a low-fat diet may have backfired by leading people to eat unchecked amounts of sugar and refined carbohydrates leading to obesity. Indeed, in the new Dietary Guidelines for Americans that came out in January, the recommendation that you consume less than 30 percent of calories from fat was taken away. It was replaced with a warning about saturated fats, which are mostly found in meat and dairy.

[Rufus The Monocled]

FUCK. YOU. GOVERNMENT.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

I feel like we're finally coming out of the bottom of the U. Over millennia, human societies came up with pretty good diets for their local environments, and passed them along to each new generation with traditional recipes, folksy sayings (an apple a day...etc.), oral tradition, and so on. Then, we started studying nutrition as a science, and because it was a new science and we couldn't take any of the folk tradition for granted, we actually declined in our food knowledge. But now, we're figuring things out, and slowly assembling a workable, scientifically-based diet plan. Which, of course, looks a lot like the ways we did things before, except now we know why things work.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

But, at least for the next few decades, people would still be better off following the traditional guidelines.

[Crusty Juggler]

People would be better off if they started smoking.

[Juvenile Bluster]

I was skinny as a rail until I stopped smoking.

[End Child Unemployment]

Lift heavy and eat whatever the fuck you want, as long as you also cram in at least .7 grams of protein per pound per day. If you make your protein intake numbers you'll be so sated you won't have space for much garbage food.

[Zeb]

You don't say.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm planning on transitioning to an all-Soylent diet.

[Chip Woodier]

Stay away from Soylent Brown.

[blighted non millenial]

Next you are going to tell us the science isn't settled.

[commoditous]

going out and filling up on bakery products that have saturated fats

Or perhaps it's the bakery goods and not the form of shortening they use?

(Though do be careful about consuming too much fat or you'll risk shartening.)

[Rich]

18 injured after teenage refugee shouted 'Allahu Akbar' and hacked passengers

If Allah is so Akbar, why does he need these clowns to do his work for him?

Serious question: Aren't these clowns being blasphemous by assuming the role of Allah?

[Juvenile Bluster]

I wonder how long it will take the government to figure out his motives for the attack.

[Crusty Juggler]

Too Many Deer on the Road? Let Cougars Return, Study Says

What large mammal regularly kills humans in the Eastern United States?

And what other large mammal might significantly reduce those deaths?

The answer to the first question is the white-tailed deer. Deer do not set out to murder people, as far as anyone knows, but they do jump out in front of vehicles so often that they cause more than a million collisions a year, resulting in more than 200 deaths.

The answer to the second question, according to a new scientific study, is the cougar.

[Crusty Juggler]

Figuring out the downsides of having cougars back was more difficult. The numbers of cougars would be considerable in some states once the deer and cougar populations stabilized ? about 1,000 each in New York and Wisconsin; 350 or so in Missouri; and only between eight and 15 in New Jersey. They estimated lost livestock values in the areas studied at $2.35 million per year. But they were not able to get good estimates of pet loss, since it is hard to pin down which pets that disappear were killed by cougars. They may have been killed by coyotes, or cars, or have wandered off and been taken in by someone else.

Also, they could not account for the obvious emotional response to predators. Even if the estimate is correct that five times as many people would be saved by cougars as would be killed, death by deer and cougar are different.

[Citizen X]

Classic: Brave Mountain Lion Fends Off Group of Hikers

[commoditous]

Taking my nephew to the zoo and standing underneath the catwalk enclosure where the mountain lions live was a special kind of hackles-raising experience. One of the pumas was stalking back and forth with its eyes fixed on the 4-y/o kid.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Niiiiice.

I remember taking my niece to the zoo where we came upon a Panther. The cat calmly came up to the glass window and suddenly let out a vicious growl showing its teeth.

It was something else.

Cats are the best.

[commoditous]

Still hoping for something like this when nephew II is a little older. So far our best experience was the submerged polar bear exhibit when one of the bears was practicing drownproofing or something up against the glass.

[Idle Hands]

death by deer and cougar are different.

I think it's worth noting that death by cougar is probably likely to be a far more traumatizing and painful ordeal.

[Lee Genes]

You've obviously never had a live kicking deer come thru your windshield and pummel you with its hooves while it bleeds all over you.

[SugarFree]

Sounds like Citizen X's prom night.

[Citizen X]

Got to third base!

[Idle Hands]

no but I had sex with your mother, which is what inspired the above comment.

[Lee Genes]

Dude, my mom is firmly in the cheetah category (over 70). Hope you had fun.

[Idle Hands]

I'd do anything twice.

[Zeb]

Is something really traumatizing if you are dead at the end of it?

[UnCivilServant]

It's a trauma you can never recover from.

[Zeb]

It's definitely a trauma, but is it traumatizing?

[R C Dean]

Nikki? Is that you?

[Zeb]

Someone has to do it.

[Pope Jimbo]

Maybe you'd like to borrow some of Minnesoda's wolves? They can be a bit pricey, but can you really reduce the wonder of having packs of predators roam your countryside to mere money?

I was talking with my father (from NW Minnesoda) and he said that on one refuge where they reintroduced a pack of wolves, it has been so successful that there are now at least 3 packs and deer have almost disappeared. Also a lot of farm dogs and livestock too.

[Florida Hipster]

Cougars may be less harmful than wolves since they are solitary hunters and don't kill for sport as much as wolves/dogs. Better solution is year round deer season without permit until you get the numbers down.

[commoditous]

Releasing more cougars to thin an artificially high population density = natural and mother gaia-approved

Releasing more hunter permits = unnatural and makes mother gaia weep.

[Free Society]

Personally, I think the country should be awash in wolves, bears and cougars. And moose. And elk. And stuff.

[commoditous]

Megafauna or GTFO. Make America Great Again.

[Free Society]

Megafauna was covered under "stuff". Obviously I'm pro-giant sloth and pro-mammoth.

[Agent Cooper]

If we didn't have hunting seasons where I live, I would be swerving all over the road to avoid deer.

[WTF]

Better solution is year round deer season without permit until you get the numbers down.

Well yeah, but guns and hunting are icky, so that's a no-go in the Northeast.

[CE]

If they had year round deer season in Minnesota, there wouldn't be any leaves left on the trees, there would be so many bullets flying.

[Citizen X]

About 30 years ago, just across the border in NC, wildlife people released a bunch of extinct-in-the-wild red wolves into a preserved part of their former native range. They're already almost extinct again, mostly because they won't stop fucking coyotes and putting all their genes into miscegenated coywolf babies.

[Citizen X]

They're bringing 'Cougar Town' back? Finally!

[Lord Humungus]

I saw a great cougar at the pool yesterday... ok maybe she wasn't hunting but ?\_(?)_/?

[lafe.long]

Chris Matthews: MSNBC Host Says It Was 'Wrong' to Have Mother of Benghazi Victim Speak at RNC

"I don't care what that woman up there, the mother, has felt," Matthews said. "But for the country in choosing a leader, it's wrong to have someone get up there and tell a lie about Hillary Clinton."

[Citizen X]

Shut the fuck up, Chris Matthews.

[SugarFree]

He didn't feel that special tingle.

[Rich]

Or at least switch parties so you can have some impact on arranging the festivities.

[Pat (PM)]

Cindy Sheehan on the other hand is a saint and a hero.

[Mock-star]

Only up to 2009.

[WTF]

Isn't it a confirmed fact that Hillary lied right to the faces of the families of the dead regarding Benghazi being about a video? What the fuck is Matthews bloviating about?

[Atanarjuat]

Admitting it hurts Hillary politically?

[Free Society]

Nothing was confirmed. All we know for sure is that the terrorists hate us because of our youtubes.

[Suthenboy]

Fuck you Chris. Really, fuck you.

What did this shameless, half-wit hack have to say about Cindy Sheehan back in the day?

[commoditous]

So brave. So. Brave.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Chris has mental illness just like those poor Muslims who commit terrorist acts.

[Free Society]

No, they have marital problems and closeted homosexual inclinations.

[Bubba Jones]

So, blame gay people?

confused.

[Crusty Juggler]

EXCLUSIVE: Nick Cannon leads Black Lives Matters protest outside Republican National Convention - and attacks BOTH parties for 'taking our votes for granted'

He said he felt let down by both Republicans and Democrats

He said: 'We want to be respected. We want to feel safe. We want the American Dream.

Apparently he wants to be deported. Fact: he was once in a group called "Da G4 Dope Bomb Squad."

[Pat (PM)]

A guy who made 50 million dollars as a mediocre rapper and then married Mariah Carey on her post-Glitter rebound thinks he got shortchanged of the American dream?

[Crusty Juggler]

America is racist, but Nickelodeon isn't.

[Free Society]

But they are a bit creepy and weird and maybe a bit racist, but mostly just creepy and weird. They put out a teenager show called Bella and The Bulldogs, the show-runner, Jonathan Butler, having earned his film-making spurs by directing some softcore pornography. The precise genre of that pornography when put into context with this tv show, is where it gets creepy. There's just no way Nickelodeon didn't know about this, the guy has a relatively tiny portfolio of previous work before getting hired by Nickelodeon and after he got hired, he apparently joked on Facebook that Nick would change their name to "Kinc" now he was hired in.

[commoditous]

It's not the size of the portfolio that matters...!

[commoditous]

Related.

[Free Society]

That pretty much sums up the unspoken premise of the show in one picture.

[Rufus The Monocled]

And from what little I watched on 'America's Got Talent' the irony is he got none even as a host.

[WTF]

The Republicans take black votes for granted? Does he live in an alternative universe?

[Zeb]

Well, they probably take the fact that they are not going to get very many black votes for granted.

[WTF]

Which is quite sensible, seeing that decades of failure in black communities during decades of Democratic mismanagement has not resulted in any fewer black votes for Democrats.

[Idle Hands]

Behold the next VP:

Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Secretary Juli?n Castro violated a law that prohibits federal employees from making personal political statements while appearing in an official capacity, according to a new report.

The U.S. Office of Special Counsel (OSC) released a report on Monday concluding that Castro, considered a possible running mate for presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, violated the Hatch Act during a Yahoo News interview with Katie Couric on April 4 by sharing his views of the presidential candidates.

"Secretary Castro's statements during the interview impermissibly mixed his personal political views with official agency business, despite his efforts to clarify that some answers were being given in his personal capacity," the OSC report said.

[Rich]

Castro violated a law that prohibits federal employees from making personal political statements while appearing in an official capacity

Sheesh, it's not like he was extremely careless with National Security or anything.

[Bubba Jones]

AYFKM? This guy gets called out for violating the Hatch Act while hillary skates?

[Pope Jimbo]

Crusty For Life gal nabbed in Moorhead, Minnesoda.

22 yr-old gal stumbles 2 blocks to pool with the 6 kids that she is baby sitting. Cops show up, she pegs .252 on the breathalyzer and is awarded 12 gross misdemeanors for child endangerment and child neglect.

Priceless comment:

Ma Deuce .252 won't even make the podium in Wisconsin

[Idle Hands]

seriously what an amateur.

[Pope Jimbo]

That was the breath of fresh air that kept me going yesterday.

The rest of those comments are a real shitfest. A few people mildly mention that maybe ringing her up with 12 misdemeanors isn't exactly "helping her get the help she needs" and the rest of the apes go crazy.

HouseOfPain
Should be a mandatory dry out of 1 year in jail and home arrest except for mandatory work for 2 years. Chemical testing daily blowing into a machine in her car.

This is not just a dumb drunk girl, she was responsible for 6 little kids. It's time we start protecting our kids seriously. If you endanger children I have no problems with throwing the book at them.

Par for the course.

[SugarFree]

Jump around.
Jump.
Jump.

[R C Dean]

Oh, very nice.

I would expect anyone who drops that in a Wisconsin thread to have actually been to a UW football game. Am I wrong, Suge?

[Bubba Jones]

Shouldn't we blame the parents for hiring a drunk?

[WTF]

Would.

[Lord Humungus]

me three.

[straffinrun]

When I was in Wisconsin in the 80's, it was Mother's Against Designated Drivers.

[Pope Jimbo]

DAMM

Drunks Against Madd Mothers

[straffinrun]

It used to be, "Whoever had the least amount, drives us home." That changed with the severity of the DUI laws in the 90's to, "He's wasted. Let's make him drive. I don't want a DUI."

[Eternal Blue Sky]

See, this is why you get a token Mormon friend in your social circle.

[(((Renegade)))]

Would.

My wife did better than that this past weekend. I think she even managed a personal best, pushing close to .40. When I got her home, I opened the passenger door of the car and she fell out and refused to move. Gentleman that I am, I covered her with a blanket, then went inside and went to bed. The next morning, I found that she had crawled in and passed out in the front hall. I proceeded to Cosby her.

Good times.

[WTF]

Am I a bad person for laughing at that? Because that made me laugh.

[(((Renegade)))]

Laughing at that is a symptom, not a cause.

[Pope Jimbo]

I'm laughing bitterly because that happens a lot at my house, except the roles are reversed.

And my wife never Cosby's me. I'm totes jelly.

[This Machine]

I proceeded to Cosby her.

Ha! You're one classy motherfucker, Ren.

[Agent Cooper]

Vodka Sam call your office!

[Free Society]

ISIS has claimed responsibility for Monday's ax and knife attack on a German train.

This is my shocked face.

[WTF]

Let's not jump to any conclusions before the Top Men can figure out what his true motives were. Which may forever remain a mystery.

[Free Society]

Last night, before I put away the internets, this story had just broke and there were no details other than "a man attacked people with an axe on a train". I thought there would be pretty good odds I'd check the AM Links this morning and it would be a Muslim perpetrator and the media and authorities would be saying "we don't know why he did this".

[WTF]

It really has become farcical at this point.

[Free Society]

There's a clash of civilizations taking place and the western elites in media and politics are doing everything they can to pretend it isn't happening. Makes one wonder whose side they're on.

[ant1sthenes]

There's a clash of three civilizations taking place -- the West, Islam, and Babylon. They're loyal to their own side.

[lafe.long]

Johnny B. Goode: Michael J. Fox Performs Chuck Berry Song With Coldplay at MetLife Stadium

Coldplay started the North American leg of its "Head Full of Dreams" tour in East Rutherford, N.J. Fox also played the Penguins' "Earth Angel" on a Gibson Les Paul during the final encore.

[Idle Hands]

I don't think anyone's kids will ever love Coldplay.

[invisible furry hand]

Coldplay really are a pack of bedwetters

[SugarFree]

I heard them once described as The Scrotebags of the 21st Century.

[WTF]

Wankers

[Pat (PM)]

Must have been a moving performance. Next time they can do Good Vibrations.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Shakin all over?

[OldMexican sine qua non]

I expected quite a share of anti-immigrant rethoric and I was not disappointed. The Trumpistas dragged in parents of men and women killed by criminals who also happened to be undocumented immigrants, which provided the emotional element needed to justify restrictionist policies that purport to stop 'illegal immigration'.

The restrictionists' logic, that we don't want to let in immigrants lest we let criminals in, could perfectly be applied to the hiring of police officers, which should be halted immediately in the face of so many shootings by these 'bad apples'. Precautionary Principle, baby!

[Pat (PM)]

Yeah, booting criminals out of the country is the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

[Hamster of Doom]

Even more dumb than giving criminals paid vacations and an entire justice system for emotional support?

[Pat (PM)]

I don't there's necessarily a binary incompatibility with holding cops *and* immigrants accountable when they commit crimes. In the pantheon of stupid things the government does, deporting temporary immigrants when they commit crimes is very near the bottom of the list.

[Hamster of Doom]

Look at Mr Clever here, with his binary incompatibility.

It's a joke, not a segue into a serious catfight. It's too early for that shit.

[Pat (PM)]

Oh, well, nevermind!

[Suthenboy]

I thought they made it pretty clear that they are pro- legal immigration, anti-illegal immigration. You seem to be conflating the two.

[Pope Jimbo]

I'd be with them if there were such a thing as sane "legal immigration".

The system is broke. When my wife and I went through it 20+ years ago it was broke.

I'll jump on the anti-illegal band wagon the second that they pass a law that asks every citizen to go down to the local ICE office and get a piece of paper from them. Let's say, you just have to go down and have them put a check mark on a yellow sticky note. That's it. All you need to confirm your citizenship.

My prediction is that within a month, at least 15% of the population will be in jail for terroristic threats to ICE employees and the other 85% will now be illegals because they gave up and just put a check mark on their own sticky note because it was impossible for them to get one from ICE.

[Pat (PM)]

I'll jump on the anti-illegal band wagon the second that they pass a law that asks every citizen to go down to the local ICE office and get a piece of paper from them. Let's say, you just have to go down and have them put a check mark on a yellow sticky note. That's it. All you need to confirm your citizenship.

Dude, it's like you've never been to the DMV.

[Pope Jimbo]

Fuck that. I'd rather sit on a bench in the DMV paddling my nuts with a wooden spoon than spend any time at all down at the ICE office.

[AlexInCT]

,i>I'd be with them if there were such a thing as sane "legal immigration".

The system is broke. When my wife and I went through it 20+ years ago it was broke.

And you don't think that was done on purpose so illegal immigration would remain the only alternative option?

[straffinrun]

War and the limiting the ability to immigrate freely. Two of the worst things about statism.

[dajjal]

I claim responsibility for the Muslim ax attack. (That's sarcasm - please don't drone me. Though, the attack is my probably my fault in some way.)

[Citizen X]

Shorter dajjal: "Pay attention to me! I'm so lonely."

[lafe.long]

Latest Guccifer 2.0 Leak Reaffirms Primaries Were Rigged for Clinton

On July 18, hacker Guccifer 2.0 released a new batch of documents obtained from DNC servers. Among the files given exclusively to The Hill is a DNC memo to Clinton political operatives on March 24, 2015?before she formally announced her candidacy?outlining how to legally solicit pro-Clinton super-PACs. "The memo was sent to political consultant John Podesta, now Clinton's campaign chairman; Clinton fundraising guru Dennis Cheng; and campaign manager Robby Mook," reported The Hill.

[WTF]

I eagerly await CNN and 60 Minutes running with this expose.

[Idle Hands]

Don't hold your breathe:

In May 2015, The Intercept alluded to similar strategies, when it discovered that a CNN op-ed published under Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed's name had actually been written by a Clinton lobbyist, edited by a Clinton super-PAC, and sent directly to CNN from the super-PAC. In June, Daily Beast reporter Olivia Nuzzi tweeted that she might lend some credence to the Bernie Bros narrative if the Clinton Campaign hadn't pitched her Bernie Bros stories to write. In refusing to cover how the DNC and the Clinton campaign united, mainstream media has rewarded corruption.

[Rufus The Monocled]

60 Minutes.

Someone needs to explode that clock.

[SugarFree]

For fuck's sake, Cracked... Can you at least try and be funny? What is this shit?

[Joe M]

Top five reasons you're a racist, homophobe, sexist, Islamaphobe rapist.

[WTF]

Cracked long ago stopped being a humor website and became instead a SJW website.

Any organization not explicitly right-wing sooner or later becomes left-wing.
-Robert Conquest, from the Three Laws of Politics

[arbitrary wavefunction]

I used to read Cracked semi-religiously until that shit happened. All of their writers started slowly dripping "sexism" or whatever into articles. But whatever, it was still funny. Then they interviewed Obama and I found that kind of odd. Shortly thereafter, it became basically a "comedy" site for the Everyday Feminism crowd.

[WTF]

Same here, I used to read Cracked fairly often back when it was still a comedy site. Not anymore, though.

[R C Dean]

Ditto. Used to check in daily, now its down to very occassionally while waiting for the internet to give me something new and interesting.

[This Machine]

Sorry, SF. That chicken flew the coop a long time ago. Flew the coop, escaped into the woods, raised a little chicken family and died.

[SugarFree]

I know. I just wanted to kick them while they were down.

[arbitrary wavefunction]

I wonder what's happened to their clicks and revenue. I know their primary audience is millennial-types, but it just became off-putting.

I like to imagine they're drowning and the staff is looking around at each other like "what happened?"

OTOH, it could very well have boosted their profits substantially.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Cracked has officially....

/dons sunglasses

Cracked.

[OBJ FRANKELSON]

Yeah, I unfollowed them on the derpbook awhile back when it became clear that they had made the transition from somewhat interesting entertainment-themed listicles and occasionally interesting personal experiences articles to full-blown SJW garbage

[Agent Cooper]

MAD MAGAZINE 4EVER!

[JW]

Esquire did the same. They went from Classy Man Advice to mewling beta males, tying to outdo one another to show their love for Hitlary.

[CPRM]

I'm a regular in the photoplasties, but the prompts have been getting so skewed to one point of view I haven't even participated in the last few weeks.

[Hamster of Doom]

In her speech at the Republican National Convention last night, Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama.

Are you kidding me? Et tu, Root?

I'm deeply disappointed the staff chooses to participate in this idiotic tunnel-visioned little witch-burning. C'mon, y'all. Integrity.

[Zeb]

Did Root plagiarize a speech from Michelle Obama too?

[Hamster of Doom]

I'm tempted to haunt his articles and take to teh Twatterbook with howls of PLAGIARISMIST every time he uses a trite common phrase.

[Florida Hipster]

Do it. It'll be funny.

[Zeb]

Not that I give a shit, but the similarities between the speeches was pretty striking. It's just a lazy speech writer and says nothing about anything.

[SugarFree]

witch-burning

[quickly Googles "Are silicone breast implants flammable?"]

[WTF]

Well? Are they?

[(((Renegade)))]

As a chemist specializing in the synthesis of silicones, I can assure you that not only are they not inflammable, they are delightfully non-inflammable.

[SugarFree]

The subject is very confused by websites of the medical conspiracy bent. Silicone gel will burn, but it isn't exactly an accelerant is my takeaway.

[bacon-magic]

They have a silica wicking material for atomizers(that ecig thingy that the FDA believes will wipe out the human race).

[Atanarjuat]

I just flipped on Glenn Beck for a minute. He pointed out that it was some speechwriter's fault, not Mrs Trump, and that Mr Trump called in to Bill O'Reilly's show during the Benghazi speech, making the larger point that Trump may not be the PR whiz hr claims to be.

[lap83]

FirstLadySpeechesMatter!

[Suthenboy]

Well, in all fairness Michelle wrote that speech herself and it was totally original, never been heard before.

*I have never seen people lose their shit over someone like they are over Trump. Not only that they are clueless how a guy whose campaign slogan is 'Make America great again!' can get so much traction after 8 years of;

"Every country thinks they are exceptional"

Bowing to foreign princes

"We are going to fundamentally change America"

"This is the first time in my life I am proud of my country"

World apology tours

Constant lecturing and scolding

Evasive, half-assed cover for our sworn enemies

...I would go on but I think I have made my point.

[Suthenboy]

Maybe I will go on.

We have had 8 years of a Divider in Chief impugning the character of certain classes of Americans, America and its founding principles, our history and constitution all the while all kinds of underhanded sneaky and not so sneaky shit designed to hurt this country coupled with a feckless, weak, opposition party that rolls over and gives the left everything they want at every opportunity.

The ruling class couldn't have set the stage for Trump better if they had planned and executed it deliberately.

[Suthenboy]

http://www.onenewsnow.com/pers.....e-evidence

[OBJ FRANKELSON]

That is the most entertaining thing about the leftist rabid anti-Trump crowd is that they have no idea how much their hyperbolic and hysterical reactions are actually helping Trump.

[CE]

Political jiu-jitsu, or something like that.

[Zeb]

I have never seen people lose their shit over someone like they are over Trump.

Have we forgotten Sarah Palin? I guess it might be worse with Trump.

[Suthenboy]

Why yes. Yes, I did forget about her. She was far more inconsequential but the same kinds of pants shitting occurred.

[Lord at War]

It would have been total awesome sauce if Melania had said, "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really proud of my country."

[Juvenile Bluster]

WikiLeaks promised to release 300k e-mails from Turkey's ruling party today, and now all of a sudden, their servers are under attack. What a strange coincidence.

[dajjal]

I claim responsibility for Melania's plagiarism. I put a *must change this before speech time* post-it note but then I got distracted by my boxcar designs and drone flying lessons.

[WTF]

"Sigh".

[arbitrary wavefunction]

Who takes drone flying lessons? Build the thing, wreck it a few times, learn from your mistakes and improve.

[dajjal]

The drones will accompany the trains. If they try to jump out the windows (which must be operational due to various state regulations), the drones will attack. It's not as easy as it sounds, even with today's 'push to start' technology.

[arbitrary wavefunction]

?!

[Agent Cooper]

How else does one get orphans to the monocle-polishing factories? Get with the program.

[CE]

I clone mine.

[Agent Cooper]

Do you have a newsletter I could subscribe to?

[Ken Shultz]

Think of it as something like a jazz standard. When everybody sings from the same songbook, you have a point of reference so you can appreciate their own personal flavor.

Also, Melanoma is way hotter than Moo-chelle.

[Free Society]

Also, Melanoma is way hotter than Moo-chelle.

It's not even a contest. Unless you like your women with animal fangs.

[arbitrary wavefunction]

+1 Real Book

[Ken Shultz]

And let's face it, the job of First Lady is pretty much being a spokesmodel.

Certainly, having your wife talk about you at your convention is like using a hot chick to sell cars.

http://downmagaz.com/uploads/p.....nmagaz.jpg

And to be perfectly honest, Trump having a smokin' trophy wife like that at his age is one of the most impressive things about him. To meet a woman like that and have her fall in love with you at his age . . .

Actually the story of how they met is a little more complicated than that. You see Trump bought himself a modeling agency, and she was under contract.

Trump. bought. himself. a. modeling. agency.

[R C Dean]

So. Alpha. I mean, dayum.

[prolefeed]

From the GayJay linked article:

Nevertheless, Johnson drawing any support away from the Democrats is problematic for Clinton even if he attracts more Republicans to his side.

Seriously? It's "problematic" for Clinton if Johnson attracts even one disgruntled Democrat even if he snags millions of disgruntled Republicans?

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Well, DUH!! Clinton was banking on snagging those disgruntled Republicans!!

[EdnaWalker]

I left my office-jobs and now I am getting paid 98 usd hourly. How? I work over internet! My old work was making me miserable, so I was forced to try something different, 2 years after...I can say my life is changed-completely for the better! Check it out what i do..

====== http://www.Aspire-Jobs.com

[lukashik]

We can even create playlists of them so it will be very easy to find our videos which we like. We can also download those videos and can watch them offline. Showbox for pc

[sarcasmic]

The agency said the $12,500 testing cost is "unlikely to represent a significant economic impact for small businesses."

This is how the government grows the economy.

[invisible furry hand]

You joke, but a friend saw a woman at her gym do something pretty similar every day to dry her hoo-ha

[Lee Genes]

I had words with the dude who let his crank hang int the sink while he shaved.

[Rufus The Monocled]

I don't partake in any activities that include more than one or two people anymore.

[Chip Woodier]

Only impressive if using one of those large chairs with the built in hair dryers found in beauty salons of yesteryear.

[Lord Humungus]

shaved what?

[Rich]

"Hey, dude, nice crank you got hanging in the sink"?

[Chip Woodier]

"Well, you don't expect me to just let it lay on the floor...do you?"

[Lee Genes]

His face, even though his pubes needed some attention.

[Pope Jimbo]

Where do you work out Tundra? Not the Lifetime in MG.

A yoga studio opened up next door to my Caribou. Morning coffee has become significantly better than it used to be.

[commoditous]

That's what you told him?

[Crusty Juggler]

"You into married couples?"

[Pope Jimbo]

The Caribou at 494 and Bass Lake Rd. Core Power Yoga studio got built last winter.

Saturday morning coffee is to die for.

[Elspeth Flashman]

Me too! I had a friend who used to do this. Augh!

[commoditous]

And largely at the expense of those working temp jobs. It's not a fucking cakewalk to be employed there in the first place. And now the feds effectively have told temp workers: find a real job, 'cuz any partially unionized outfit is not going to want your services.

[Agent Cooper]

I worked as a temp in H'wood. It sucked, but it was nice to get the checks.

[Hamster of Doom]

White House Cuts Economic Growth Forecast

Surely unrelated.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

How many people does it take to dry your balls?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

"Dude, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but..."

[Citizen X]

"Do you like gladiator movies?"