Clinton Bemoans Loss of 'Party of Lincoln,' Emperor of Japan Considers Abdication, UFO Enthusiasts Accuse NASA of Cover-Up: P.M. Links

Ed Krayewski | 7.13.2016 4:30 PM

NASA

Top Republicans are criticizing Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg for comments she made critical of Donald Trump, but aren't joining his calls that she should resign. Hillary Clinton says Trump is turning "the party of Lincoln" into "the party of Trump." Jesse Ventura says he's voting for Gary Johnson.
Airport workers in Philadelphia have voted to strike during the Democratic National Convention at the end of the month.
Police in Baton Rouge have arrested three men they accuse of stealing guns in order to kill police officers.
The mayor of Newark, which just hired more than 100 new police officers, told residents of one ward sometimes they wouldn't see the police. "The mother of the teenager who was shot didn't make it to the meeting, but you did, so you got to make your speech," Mayor Ras Baraka told residents who demanded more police presence.
The emperor of Japan is reportedly considering abdicating the throne.
Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys.
UFO enthusiasts accuse NASA of cutting off a live feed from the International Space Station as part of a cover-up.

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Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

Top Republicans are criticizing Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg for comments she made critical of Donald Trump, but aren't joining his calls that she should resign.

It's hard enough work confirming ONE new justice.
1. This Machine 9 years ago
  
  SON OF A BITCH.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
    
    I know, right?
  2. Spencer 9 years ago
    
    Give me a drink!
    1. DenverJ 9 years ago
      
      Just one more, they'll bury me
      1. DenverJ 9 years ago
        
        Oops, that's not the line
2. DEG 9 years ago
  
  Good Afternoon Rufus.
  1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
    
    NO RUFUS ALLOWED
    1. DEG 9 years ago
      
      Is that why he's late? I haven't been hanging around here much the last week or two.
      1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
        
        I've had work - so I've been relegated to poking in the inferior lynx from time to time instead of my usualy haunt
        
        DEG 9 years ago
        
        You're not Rufus.
        
        UnCivilServant 9 years ago
        
        Of course not.
        
        Do I sound canukistani to you?
        
        DEG 9 years ago
        
        I know a few Canucks that don't sound like Canucks.
        
        RBS 9 years ago
        
        Reverse Canucks. You never know...until it is too late.
    2. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
      
      Playa still bitter about that roofies incident, I see.
      1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        I don't recall that incident.
        
        Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
        
        And yet, your sphincter automatically braces itself when the subject comes up.
        
        OneOut 9 years ago
        
        A wino bum passed out in front of a liquor store. A not so nice guy took advantage of him analy but left a $5 bill in his hand.
        
        Upon waking the wino found the money and bought another jug of wine. Rinse wash repeat.
        
        After a day or so of this the liquor store owner asked the bum , "you must really like that wine" ?
        
        Yes it taste good said the wino, " but it sure does make my butt hurt".
  2. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
    
    /Runs into room.
    
    Hello.
    
    Even to Playa.
    1. DOOMco 9 years ago
      
      Hi Rufus!
3. Brochettaward 9 years ago
  
  When I think of Reason's idiot peanut gallery, it is YOU, Fist. Mainly because you are always the first thing I read any comment thread.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
    
    I am humbled that you seek my comments out.
    1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
      
      No, you force him to read them. It's basically comment rape.
      1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
        
        Then I'd hate to think what SugarFree is considered doing to all you short skirt-wearing bitches.
        
        Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
        
        Tentacle rape?
        
        SugarFree 9 years ago
        
        I guess that technically they could be considered tentacles.
        
        Trshmnstr, terror of the trash 9 years ago
        
        This. Definitely this.
      2. RBS 9 years ago
        
        If you didn't want to be comment raped then you shouldn't have used that browser.
        
        Francisco d'Anconia 9 years ago
        
        Obviously asking for it.
4. TheZeitgeist 9 years ago
  
  Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
  
  C'mon entropy, hurry it up a little.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
    
    I call her Booty Raider Gamsburg. It makes her seem young again.
    1. Tonio 9 years ago
      
      Stop that, Fist. It's a stupider nickname than Block Yomamma.
      1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
        
        Hey that's pretty good. Maybe I'll start using it.
      2. RBS 9 years ago
        
        That is Block Insane Yomamma to you, sir!
    2. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
      
      I call her Truth Hater Skinsbag.
      1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
        
        A little too on the nose, don't you think?
        
        Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
        
        But Crusty says it in his sexiest voice.
        
        Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
        
        Toot Maker Gasbag?
        
        DenverJ 9 years ago
        
        Is she joining the fart-in at the DNC?
      2. bacon-magic 9 years ago
        
        So you would then Crusty?
  2. DEG 9 years ago
    
    You down with entropy?
    1. Entropy Drehmaschine Void 9 years ago
      
      Yup, sho am.
  3. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
    
    At this point, I would not be surprised if Ginsburg turns out to be a marionette operated by an out of work puppeteer that owes a favor to Kennedy for letting him copy off his exam in law school before he decided to follow his true passion.
    1. TheZeitgeist 9 years ago
      
      After Strom Thurmond's Weekend at Bernie's shtick was finally brought to a halt by sheer thermodynamics, his puppeteers got a new gig somewhere. Not into conspiracies, just say'in.
5. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
  
  Hello.
  
  Better late than never?
  1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
    
    Not always.
This Machine 9 years ago

UFO enthusiasts accuse NASA of cutting off a live feed from the International Space Station as part of a cover-up

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.
1. DEG 9 years ago
  
  Damn my slow fingers.
2. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
  
  The Ruth is out there.
  1. Rich 9 years ago
    
    Close to thread winner.
Tonio 9 years ago

So, about this free college thing: If implemented this is going to turn into a racial disparity shitshow when people discover any differences in admission or graduation rates for any identifiable racial group. So, either the loosening of standards (even lower than this program will already require), tons of remedial education or (most likely) some sort of consolation payment for those who can't handle college. The for-profit colleges are going to be all over the free college thing and will lobby hard for it. The progs hate for-profit colleges so we'll be treated to more yummy tears when they paint themselves into a corner.
1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  College degrees are already near-worthless. We have college grads (and professors, come to think of it) who can't write a semi-coherent argument. I don't think pushing more people into the system is going to improve matters
  1. Zunalter 9 years ago
    
    I have employed a person with a Masters in English to write for my business...let's just say I regularly read better prose from this commentariat, drunk belligerence, mental disorders, and all.
    1. Rich 9 years ago
      
      I have employed a person with a Masters in English to write for my business
      
      And the gender and race of this person are ...?
      1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
        
        non- and Dalek.
    2. CE 9 years ago
      
      You should read my comments when I'm sober.
    3. DenverJ 9 years ago
      
      let's just say I regularly read better prose from this commentariat, drunk belligerence, mental disorders, and all.
      
      I am switching over to mental belligerence and drunken disorders.
      1. DenverJ 9 years ago
        
        "Drunken Disorder" would be a cool band name.
      2. Contrarian P 9 years ago
        
        If I had a business I would hire Agile Cyborg to be my PR rep.
    4. C. S. P. Schofield 9 years ago
      
      The old style reporters of the era of Mencken and Damon Runyon did pretty well with drunken belligerance.....
  2. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    No, but it will increase the cost and make it difficult for anyone but the very rich or very talented to get a decent education.
    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
      
      Oh well. At least university presidents will get richer and more fluff ___ Studies Ph.D.s will get luxurious salaries.
      1. TheZeitgeist 9 years ago
        
        Merit not replaceable in any social construct successful at empirical things - including humanities like music, visual arts, or athletics.
        
        Eventually, majors grounded in anything empirical will need either their own min-jurisdictions within institutions, or their own separate entities altogether.
    2. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
      
      No, but it will increase the cost and make it difficult for anyone but the very rich or very talented to get a decent education.
      
      I can't wait till we go single payer and see it difficult for anyone but the very rich or very connected to get decent medical treatment!
      1. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
        
        NOT TRUE! There is no jumping of the queue in the system!
        
        /skips away.
        
        C. Anacreon 9 years ago
        
        They try to base this idea on the fact that there is a free college system in Europe. However, what they don't realize is, that everybody in most of these countries has to take a major exam when they're in high school, and a bunch of people are just told they missed the cut and they're never going to free college. So maybe you can afford free college if you're only letting one third of your kids go to it and the others are on their own.
        
        Why do they think that that would also work in America but without having such a selective system?
        
        Morons. Dream on, losers, ain't never happening. We have "free" college in California, and it'll cost you about $12k a year in-state.
        
        Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
        
        Worse, in Canada we don't even vet them! It's come one, come all! And lemme tell ya, there are a bunch of people in university who should not.
        
        OneOut 9 years ago
        
        My last schooling was at Texas A in89/90.
        
        They were already offering remedial classes in some basics like English and Arithmatic and in some cases requiring them.
        
        Agammamon 9 years ago
        
        That's the thing - in Europe there's university *and* technical college tracks for higher education.
        
        Here we've destroyed the technical college as anything outside of places like ITT and rolled up the education that they would give into STEM inside the university system.
        
        STEM (and its associated lesser technical training degrees) should probably be its own system (separate from the 'traditional' Humanities track) at least until the Graduate level where you merge into the University system en-route to a doctorate.
    3. C. S. P. Schofield 9 years ago
      
      It will also, sooner or later, kill the college degree requirement for getting a decent job. If any fool can get a BA, then employers will have to come up with some other way to seperate the wheat from the chaff.
2. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash 9 years ago
  
  We tried this once... It was called free public schooling. The biggest and most damning consequence of making college free will be the retreat to the lowest common denominator. We already see it now, but a BA will be so worthless that an additional 1.5-3 years will be "required" in order to get any hireable credentials.
  1. Glide 9 years ago
    
    Exactly. Once the free college is achieved, I give it about 6-8 years before reality sets in that having the same degree as every other human in your age group makes you just as unemployable as when you couldn't afford college at all.
    
    Then progressives will finally learn their lesson fire up the campaign to declare free master's degrees a human right!
    1. Tonio 9 years ago
      
      Then we'll need a whole new tier of degrees!
      1. C. Anacreon 9 years ago
        
        Think when the national minimum wage is $15/hr, and then a can of coke in the vending machine becomes $4, they'll see the connection?
        
        You've overestimated the intelligence of the general public .
        
        CatoTheChipper 9 years ago
        
        Not even then. Maybe some of them might see the connection when the US Army takes over food supply and distribution as they have in Venezuela. But they're all too dimwitted to see how socialism has failed others.
    2. Tonio 9 years ago
      
      But in all seriousness, that's why the IT industry went to certifications. It was a way to do an end-run around useless academic programs which produced people with no real-world skills.
      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
        
        How do you get a certification in gender studies?
        
        Trshmnstr, terror of the trash 9 years ago
        
        I'm thinking a letter pinned to their chest. Perhaps a red color? Fuschia? Crimson? No...how about scarlet?
        
        C. Anacreon 9 years ago
        
        Scarlett Letter?
        
        Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
        
        Agammamon 9 years ago
        
        'Pinned', with rifle fire.
        
        Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        Genital inspection.
      2. robc 9 years ago
        
        With useless certs?
        
        I did a lot of teaching back last decade. I think I mentioned it before, but I was on a phone interview for a teaching gig when the guy asked me what certs I had. None, was my answer.
        
        The fact that I had written linux courseware and had 15 years of experience (which for linux, is most of its lifetime) meant nothing. To teach a linux+ course for them I needed the cert.
        
        It turned out they were a cert mill themselves. I didnt get the job.
        
        invisible finger 9 years ago
        
        Exactly. All you have to do to get a cert is to pay for one.
      3. Tonio 9 years ago
        
        What I should have also said above is that degrees will become vain novelties and that industry certifications will be what matters. I'd also like to see non-government organizations develop things like literacy certificates at various levels.
      4. Hayeksplosives 9 years ago
        
        My current AirBnB hostess has a framed certificate on the wall from the Council on Geocelestial Research. I had to google it.
        
        Equal parts SMDH and ROFL. But just as legit as a BS in some fields from certain universities.
      5. Rhywun 9 years ago
        
        I've been in IT for almost 20 years and I don't have any certs. And I work in a MS shop. Every once in a while I hear rumblings that I should "get some" but then I just learn something on my own, put it into practice, and that shuts them up.
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

Airport workers in Philadelphia have voted to strike during the Democratic National Convention at the end of the month.

Finally, being a city of a-holes is going to have some entertainment value.
1. DEG 9 years ago
  
  I saw only one Bernie bumper sticker when I was in the Philly area last week.
  1. PBR Streetgang 9 years ago
    
    I've seen a bunch of Bernie stickers and yard signs in the suburbs immediately west of Philly, but it is definitely Hilary country.
2. Ted S. 9 years ago
  
  They boo Santa; why wouldn't they boo the "free shit" politicians?
3. How You Like Me Now? 9 years ago
  
  Every Philadelphian is a gentleman and a scholar.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
    
    Compared to New Jerkseyans, maybe.
    1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
      
      Aren't they pretty much the same thing?
      1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
        
        I like to think so.
        
        Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
        
        Philadelphians have an inferior accent. By far.
      2. CatoTheChipper 9 years ago
        
        New Jersey = pizza
        Philadelphia = "cheese steak" if you're into that
        
        Otherwise, they're the same.
        
        WTF 9 years ago
        
        Holy shit, that's ignorant.
  2. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
    
    So thugs with fancy titles and educations of no practical value - good to know.
  3. JaimeRoberto 9 years ago
    
    And a French tickler.
Injun, as in from India 9 years ago

The emperor of Japan is reportedly considering abdicating the throne.

Seriously, what difference at this point does it make?
1. TheZeitgeist 9 years ago
  
  Thought MacArthur said he could stay.
  1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
    
    The Gaijin Shogun has been out of power there for decades.
    1. TheZeitgeist 9 years ago
      
      Yeah, but still.
  2. LarryA 9 years ago
    
    Thought MacArthur said he could stay.
    
    That was the current Emperor Akihito's father, Emperor Sh?wa (Hirohito). He was emperor until his death in 1989.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hirohito
2. CE 9 years ago
  
  I can't shake the feeling that it's somehow related to the story about NASA cutting the ISS live feed....
3. C. Anacreon 9 years ago
  
  It's about time he abdicated the throne.
  
  I've been pounding on the door for ten minutes.
4. Mickey Rat 9 years ago
  
  Maybe it is not all that good to be Emperor nowadays.
5. LarryA 9 years ago
  
  Give the guy a break. Emperor Akihito is 83, and has been emperor for more than 27 years.
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akihito
Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago

Chair of US propaganda arm booted from Russia.

Apparently, it's a lifetime ban.
1. jesse.in.mb 9 years ago
  
  *ahem*
  1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
    
    Parallel construction, bitch.
    1. jesse.in.mb 9 years ago
      
      So, you read Gizmodo regularly?
      1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        As long as there are no followup questions, yes. Yes, I do.
        
        C. Anacreon 9 years ago
        
        Is Gizmodo pronounced with a soft G?
        
        If so, ick.
        
        Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        It gives me a soft P.
Injun, as in from India 9 years ago

Airport workers in Philadelphia have voted to strike during the Democratic National Convention at the end of the month.

Note to Democrats:

Live by the union vote, die by the union strike.
1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
  
  They'll get what they want. WHATEVER THEY WANT.
  
  It's actually a pretty smart tactic.
  1. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    ^This.
  2. Rich 9 years ago
    
    But it gets the hose again.
    1. Francisco d'Anconia 9 years ago
      
      Put The fuckin Lotion In the Basket!
  3. TheZeitgeist 9 years ago
    
    They'll get what they want. WHATEVER THEY WANT.
    
    It's actually a pretty smart tactic.
    
    Between BLM, sundry lesser ethnograpy, the unions, the public unions (own category now) the ecopukes, the trial sharks, and LGBQT-etc.-etc, that's a lot of pants down standing around the circle, waiting.
    
    Yet only one whore. Can she satisfy them all before a riot? Tune in to find out.
    1. DenverJ 9 years ago
      
      I'm never going to eat again
2. PBR Streetgang 9 years ago
  
  Throw in all the SEPTA problems, cancelled trains, overcrowding and such, and the DNC is going to be a hoot!
  1. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    And that Poor People's Economic rights group which is going to have a protest march outside, and a fart-in inside the convention. This is going to be like Christmas, the Fourth of July and Thanksgiving all rolled into one.
  2. PBR Streetgang 9 years ago
    
    And the Philly Coalition for REAL Justice, which has all but promised to be violent and Mayor Kenney saying he's going to park all protestors in FDR Park across Broad Street from the Wells Fargo Center in a fenced in "Free Speech Zone".
    Spec-Freakin-Tacular!
  3. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
    
    I used Philly public transportation once only but it was a weird experience where payment was concerned. I was told you need exact change even if you pay at the counter but on the way back from a Phillies game they waved us through without paying.
3. Agammamon 9 years ago
  
  Nope. Because everyone who matters will be flying in by private plane, have staff to move their gear, and have direct access to the aircraft.
That's A Bingo! 9 years ago

The emperor of Japan is reportedly considering abdicating the throne.

Make Japan great again?
1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
  
  He decided he wants a real job.
2. CE 9 years ago
  
  What could possibly go wrong.
3. LarryA 9 years ago
  
  Give the guy a break. Emperor Akihito is 83, and has been emperor for more than 27 years.
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akihito
Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago

"Police in Baton Rouge have arrested three men they accuse of stealing guns in order to kill police officers."

Can't they just arrest them for stealing the guns?
1. Rich 9 years ago
  
  WHAT?! And not get to tack on the "HATE CRIME"?!
Zunalter 9 years ago

The emperor of Japan is reportedly considering abdicating the throne.

That's still a thing, huh?
1. Rich 9 years ago
  
  Sure. The Prime Minister of England just abdicated.
Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago

YOU CANT TRUST NO LADY WHAT WONT SWEAR ON A FLAG
1. Brochettaward 9 years ago
  
  Would.
  1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
    
    I'm not seeing a pic in that link.
    
    I guess you just like to roll the dice. I respect that.
    1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
      
      He thinks Quakers got their name from their quaking skill during sexual congress.
2. Injun, as in from India 9 years ago
  
  She's a Quaker.
  
  Can she swear on an old CD of Quake?
  1. Rich 9 years ago
    
    Or an old box of Quisp?
    1. Ted S. 9 years ago
      
      Not Quaker Oats?
    2. All-Seeing Monocle 9 years ago
      
      Oh man, that stuff was the shiznit. I don't remember why exactly, it just was.
      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
        
        Because it was mostly sugar and you were probably 4?
        
        That is why I liked it.
      2. Lord at War 9 years ago
        
        Oh man, that stuff was the shiznit. I don't remember why exactly, it just was.
        
        Dude! It was Captain Crunch without the shredded palate...
  2. Jerry on the rocks 9 years ago
    
    What she needs is a box of Quaker Oats.
    1. Ted S. 9 years ago
      
      Doesn't it come in cylinders?
      
      (Don't eat the instant packet shit.)
      1. Rich 9 years ago
        
        *** wink-wink-nudge-nudge ***
      2. Jerry on the rocks 9 years ago
        
        Apparently it does...and with glyphosate!
  3. DenverJ 9 years ago
    
    Quake was an awesome game. Back in the Days of Dialup, me and my buddies would all bring our homemade PCs over to Randy Hodges' house, and make a local network. What a blast, except for poor John Whatsit, who has a store bought PC with onboard video... Hahahah poor shmuck was just a frozen sitting duck.
3. Eternal Blue Sky 9 years ago
  
  To be fair: The Quakers are absolutely right about that aspect of Christianity. Jesus straight-up forbid swearing oaths.
  1. Eternal Blue Sky 9 years ago
    
    Which always makes me laugh when they swear people in using a bible.
    
    "Do you swear upon this book that explicitly commands you not to swear upon it..."
    1. invisible finger 9 years ago
      
      Swearing on the bible means you have carte blanche to lie.
Injun, as in from India 9 years ago

Hillary Clinton says Trump is turning "the party of Lincoln" into "the party of Trump."

While Hillary is turning the party of ____ to the party of ___ ?
1. Arizona_Guy 9 years ago
  
  While Hillary is turning the party of Jim Crow to the party of SJWs ?
  
  that's all I got.
  1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
    
    SJWs are advocating for legally enshrined racism and segregation... where's the distinction?
    1. Arizona_Guy 9 years ago
      
      There is none, hence my comment.
2. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  While Hillary is turning the party of LBJ into the party of LBJ.
  1. Rich 9 years ago
    
    *** picks SugarFree up by the ears ***
    1. Ted S. 9 years ago
      
      Isn't it easier to pick up Obama by the ears?
      1. Rich 9 years ago
        
        Yes, but that would be RACIST!
    2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
      
      *** picks SugarFree up by the ears ***
      
      Is this so you can get el BJ?
  2. Glide 9 years ago
    
    As opposed to Bill, who turned it into the party of BJs?
    1. Rich 9 years ago
      
      It's not known as "Team Blue" for nothing.
  3. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
    
    Lazy blowjobs?
    1. mad.casual 9 years ago
      
      You misspelled 'lady'. She'll still get blowjobs from interns in the WH just as a woman.
  4. Drake 9 years ago
    
    Calhoun, Marx
    
    Or. Davis, Alinsky
3. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash 9 years ago
  
  Jefferson, FDR?
  Madison, Wilson?
  Jackson, LBJ?
  Clay, Obama?
4. Arizona_Guy 9 years ago
  
  While Hillary is turning the party of "Ask not what you country can do for you" into the party of "What can your country do for you" ?
  1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
    
    Winner
  2. mad.casual 9 years ago
    
    While Hillary is turning the party of "Ask not what you country can do for you" into the party of "What can your country do for you" ? "We will bury you."
    1. Rich 9 years ago
      
      +1 shoe on podium
  3. BigT 9 years ago
    
    Hillary is turning the party of "Ask not what you country can do for you" into the party of "demand moar free shit!"
    1. CE 9 years ago
      
      Hillary appears with Elizabeth Warren on the campaign trail and wonders why her poll numbers are dropping.
  4. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
    
    'What can your country do for you to enable and not really deliver..."
  5. Robert 9 years ago
    
    Turning the party of what can your country do for you into the party of what can your country do for me.
5. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  Jim Crow, Stalin?
  Thin-skinned demagogues (Jackson), thin-skinned demagogues (Obama)?
  Clinton, Clinton?
6. All-Seeing Monocle 9 years ago
  
  FDR, WDATPDIM
7. Arizona_Guy 9 years ago
  
  FDR, Chavez ?
8. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug! 9 years ago
  
  During the Civil War, Northern Democrats countered the Republican charge that they favored rebellion by professing to be the "white man's party".
  
  James Loewen, Lies My Teacher Told Me, Chapter 5
9. Eternal Blue Sky 9 years ago
  
  I got one.
  
  "While Hillary is turning the party of Barrack Obama into the party of Superpredators."
10. LarryA 9 years ago
  
  While Hillary is turning the party of JFK into the party of Lieutenant Colonel Francis Smith, commander of British forces at Concord, April 19, 1775.
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

UFO enthusiasts accuse NASA of cutting off a live feed from the International Space Station as part of a cover-up.

What else are UFO enthusiasts going to say, though, really? It's really just viral marketing for Independence Day 2: The Rise of Cousin Eddie.
1. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  And manufacturers of tinfoil.
2. commoditous 9 years ago
  
  We live in an era of ubiquitous, cheap video editing. Why wouldn't NASA simply digitally splice in whatever they want viewers to see rather than cutting off the feed entirely? In fact, who's to say there's even anyone up at ISS in the first place? What if it's nothing but prerecorded videos with wire work? Look, I'm just asking questions.
  1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
    
    Editing live video really puts a lot of stress on the IT staff.
    1. commoditous 9 years ago
      
      You know what else was stressful for NASA staffers...
      1. Rich 9 years ago
        
        Outreach to Muslims?
    2. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
      
      My phone doesn't seem to have much trouble doing it.
      1. Ted S. 9 years ago
        
        You're not a government worker.
        
        Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
        
        But our cell phones likely are.
      2. darius404 9 years ago
        
        I shouldn't have clicked that link.
        
        Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
        
        Drama queen.
3. IndyEleven 9 years ago
  
  That there's a mothership. Don't you go fallin in love with her now, we're taking her with us when we leave here next month.
Tonio 9 years ago

Airport workers in Philadelphia have voted to strike during the Democratic National Convention at the end of the month.

So, a major union AND that Poor People's Economic Rights group. Schweet!
This Machine 9 years ago

Jesse Ventura says he's voting for Gary Johnson.

Hell yeah. I wasn't sure about the ol' Johnson/Weld, but if Captain Freedom is on board, then so am I.
1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
  
  That will really bring in the skullet vote.
2. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  They ain't got time to bleed votes.
Injun, as in from India 9 years ago

Police in Baton Rouge have arrested three men they accuse of stealing guns in order to kill police officers.

MOAR GUN CONTROLZ!
1. Zunalter 9 years ago
  
  If only they had been put through a background check before being allowed to steal those guns.
commoditous 9 years ago

Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys.

So what? The little urchins are working their tools every time I visit the zoo.
1. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
  
  I would think using stones for that would hurt
  1. Rasilio 9 years ago
    
    That's not what David Bowie said
    1. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
      
      Nice
That's A Bingo! 9 years ago

UFO enthusiasts accuse NASA of cutting off a live feed from the International Space Station as part of a cover-up.

I accuse NASA of staging the event as part of a cunning plan to increase funding.
1. commoditous 9 years ago
  
  -1 Washington Monument
Carl #TeamBlue #RedSucks 9 years ago

Police in Baton Rouge have arrested three men they accuse of stealing guns in order to kill police officers.

Why? After all, it's easier to buy a gun than get your hands on a computer or a book.
Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago

Call it a 'Rebranding Exercise' = ISIS Informing Followers That "Caliphate" May Be Temporary
1. That's A Bingo! 9 years ago
  
  Call it "Islamic Burning Man"
2. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
  
  signs of desperation are mounting weekly inside the caliphate, which shrank by another 12 percent in the first six months of 2016, according to a report last week by IHS Inc., an analysis and consulting firm.
  
  More signals of a coming downfall are contained in statements issued by Islamic State officials over the past six weeks, a period that saw the group's fighters retreating across multiple fronts, from Fallujah in central Iraq to the Syrian-Turkish border.
  
  A remarkable editorial last month in al-Naba, the Islamic State's weekly Arabic newsletter, offered a gloomy assessment of the caliphate's prospects, acknowledging the possibility that all its territorial holdings could ultimately be lost.
  ...
  The editorial, titled, "The Crusaders' Illusions in the Age of the Caliphate," sought to rally the group's followers by insisting that the Islamic State would continue to survive, even if all its cities fell to the advancing "crusaders" ? the separate Western- and Russian-backed forces arrayed against them.
  
  "The crusaders and their apostate clients are under the illusion that .?.?. they will be able to eliminate all of the Islamic State's provinces at once, such that it will be completely wiped out and no trace of it will be left,"
  1. commoditous 9 years ago
    
    "The crusaders and their apostate clients are under the illusion that .?.?. they will be able to eliminate all of the Islamic State's provinces at once
    
    Why bother tracing an asymptotic line? Kill enough of the motherfuckers and eventually it hardly matters which caves the goatfuckers are left hiding in.
  2. John Titor 9 years ago
    
    The editorial, titled, "The Crusaders' Illusions in the Age of the Caliphate," sought to rally the group's followers by insisting that the Islamic State would continue to survive, even if all its cities fell to the advancing "crusaders"
    
    DEUS VULT!
    1. commoditous 9 years ago
      
      DEUS VULT
      1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
        
        VAE VICTIS!
  3. The Fusionist 9 years ago
    
    "I'll chew your legs off!"
3. True Scottsman 9 years ago
  
  If I were the leader of the free world, I would simply recognize the authority of the caliphate over the entire Muslim world and declare peace. This, with a little proviso, since we now recognize your authority over the entire Muslim world, you are now responsible for any attack on the U.S. or her allies emanating from your territory, which shall include all majority Muslim countries. Islamic terrorists attack Vienna organized out of Raqqa?, we bomb Islamabad or maybe Riyadh. You are all now your brother's keepers. Blow yourselves up all you want within your own territory, but venture out and not one of your cities is off my list.
That's A Bingo! 9 years ago

Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys.

Giant monolith found nearby.
1. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  I hate to be skeptical about something like this, but how are they sure who used those tools?
  1. SugarFree 9 years ago
    
    They still smell like monkey.
    1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
      
      Tools == marital aids?
  2. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
    
    Caputchin are enthusiastic bangers.
Tonio 9 years ago

Why Black Lives Must Matter to the Environmental Movement

We dwell in the environmental and outdoor space, which is not devoid of power structures, privilege and oppression?all concepts at the forefront of civil rights. And we've been disappointed that (with a few exceptions) there has yet to be a galvanizing call from the environmental movement or outdoor recreation sector to take action beyond extending condolences. We wanted to take this opportunity to link our movement to #BlackLivesMatter in the hopes that we will step up and do more.
1. PBR Streetgang 9 years ago
  
  Can someone translate this into English?
  1. SugarFree 9 years ago
    
    There Will Be Giant Papier-m?ch? Puppetheads
    1. commoditous 9 years ago
      
      Put your hand inside, put your hand inside
      1. SugarFree 9 years ago
        
        Don't, don't, don't lets start.
        
        commoditous 9 years ago
        
        Now I'm off on another kick. Thanks.
        
        SugarFree 9 years ago
        
        No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful.
        
        thrakkorzog 9 years ago
        
        I don't want the world, just your half.
  2. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    Black people need to go camping more.
    1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
      
      I have so many jokes to make about this. But I am not racist, so I will abstain.
      1. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
        
        It's racist not to tell them
        
        Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
        
        I must admit, I am intrigued.
        
        DenverJ 9 years ago
        
        Does the Pope shit in the woods?
        
        Episteme 9 years ago
        
        Pope Francis should have celebrated the release of Laudato si'i by taking an environmentally-friendly shit in the Italian woods.
        
        The Fusionist 9 years ago
        
        "I hope this camping stuff isn't like the 'Atlantic cruise' and 'Caribbean vacation' my ancestors had."
    2. Tonio 9 years ago
      
      You, Sir Mulatto, win the mothergrabbing interwebs.
      1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
        
        I just want the twerking video parts.
  3. This Machine 9 years ago
    
    Proggie Legos, dude. You can take any number of their pet grievances and stick 'em to each other to build whatever cause you want!
    1. commoditous 9 years ago
      
      And, much like Legos, when you step on one you want to die.
  4. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG) 9 years ago
    
    Black people go outside, therefore part of environmental movement. I think.
    1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
      
      +1 Pokemone Gro
      1. bacon-magic 9 years ago
        
        I have so many jokes to make about this. But I am not racist, so I will abstain.
        
        Come on, you just said it 2 minutes before this. Sheesh.
  5. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    "Stop ignoring us or we'll call you racist."
  6. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
    
    Can someone translate this into English?
    
    WE ARE A "CONSULTING GROUP" WHICH FEEDS OFF OF MONEY BEING ALLOCATED TO SOCIAL-JUSTICE PROGRAMS ALL OVER THE PUBLIC & PRIVATE SECTORS. WE WILL MAKE PRESENTATIONS AND CONDUCT TRAINING SESSIONS TO GIBBERISHIFY YOUR MARKETING MATERIALS AND ENSURE YOU ARE SPOUTING RIGHT-THINK IN A MANNER WHICH WE BELIEVE HITS ALL THE RIGHT BULLSHIT-NOTES. WORRIED YOU CANT COVER BOTH CLIMATE CHANGE AND RACIAL INJUSTICE IN A SINGLE BLURB? NEVER FEAR = WE CAN CONFLATE ANYTHING WITH OUR BLACK-BELT GIBBERISH SKILLZ
2. Rich 9 years ago
  
  "Oh, and we'd also like to link our movement to #BureauofLandManagement while we're at it."
Rich 9 years ago

A hitwoman for one of Mexico's most notorious cartels has made a stunning confession from her California jail cell: she claims to have had intercourse with beheaded corpses and drank their blood.

Ima say Crusty "would".
1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
  
  She should probably fact check before telling whoppers.
  1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    Yeah, I liked her story better when it was called "From Dusk Till Dawn"
2. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  She has that "girl-next door" look.
3. Free Society 9 years ago
  
  The beautiful hitwoman claims she would drink, bathe in, and use her victims' warm blood to pleasure herself after murdering them
  
  The fact that she's plagued by all known and unknown forms of Hepatitis is totally unrelated.
  1. mad.casual 9 years ago
    
    You bigotted asshole. Next thing you know, you'll be lecturing us just how icky lubricating your vag with someone's carotid artery is. Look, bathing and sexually gratifying herself in the blood of beheaded corpses doesn't mean she shouldn't have the same right to get married like you or I do!
    1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash 9 years ago
      
      #pride #celebrateLife Death Identity
    2. Tonio 9 years ago
      
      Who leaked that Wartyvision demo reel to you m.c?
4. commoditous 9 years ago
  
  Don't judge, you don't know her story.
  1. Greg Loves His Woodchipper 9 years ago
    
    This was the one I first thought of
5. DenverJ 9 years ago
  
  What? She's way too pretty to be crazy.
6. King's Ransom 9 years ago
  
  Silly hitwoman I wasn't dead at all.... Bloody yes but dead no
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

The emperor of Japan is reportedly considering abdicating the throne.

In the abdication of thrones, you abdicate and then you die.
1. commoditous 9 years ago
  
  Do the Japs even have a proper throne? I bet it's a tatami mat next to a koi pond. I'd want to abdicate too.
  1. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug! 9 years ago
    
    The Chrysanthemum Throne is kind of nice.
  2. John Titor 9 years ago
    
    Oldest one I could find with a quick google search was the Meiji one that got bombed to hell in the Second World War.
    
    But the pre-Meiji Emperors, Shoguns and Taiko (and whatever the hell Oda Nobunaga was, dictator I guess?) all seems to do the classic mat sit. So it's probably a Westernization thing.
    1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
      
      Daimyo.
      
      Learn 2 Koei.
      1. John Titor 9 years ago
        
        Yeah he was a daimyo, but daimyo doesn't really reflect the unprecedented amount of power he had without declaring himself Shogun.
        
        Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
        
        Fair enough.
    2. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
      
      So it's probably a Westernization thing.
      
      I'm not so sure of that.The Chinese did the throne thing for a long time.
      1. John Titor 9 years ago
        
        I meant it more as Japan westernizing than a throne solely being a Western concept. I just can't recall any art or images of Japanese Emperors sitting on ornate thrones until Meiji, then suddenly it's all thrones and Western-style uniforms.
        
        Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
        
        Earlier images exist, but I think you're right in that chair sitting, in general, became more popular after Meiji Westernization.
2. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
  
  The I Won Throne is made of chopsticks.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
    
    Seems racist.
    1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
      
      Hey, chopsticks are legitimate symbols of power.
      1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
        
        I just thought chopsticks were a symbol of beginner piano players.
    2. Agammamon 9 years ago
      
      They're *very sharp* chopsticks.
Carl #TeamBlue #RedSucks 9 years ago

Best CEO evar: Under Mayer deal, Mozilla could walk away and still get more than $1 billion if it doesn't like Yahoo's buyer

Under terms of a contract that has been seen by Recode, whoever acquires Yahoo might have to pay Mozilla annual payments of $375 million through 2019 if it does not think the buyer is one it wants to work with and walks away.

That's according to a clause in the Silicon Valley giant's official agreement with the browser maker that CEO Marissa Mayer struck in late 2014 to become the default search engine on the well-known Firefox browser in the U.S.

According to the change-of-control term, 9.1 in the agreement, Mozilla has the right to leave the partnership if ? under its sole discretion and in a certain time period ? it did not deem the new partner acceptable. And if it did that, even if it struck another search deal, Yahoo is still obligated to pay out annual revenue guarantees of $375 million.
1. Ted S. 9 years ago
  
  I switched the default to duckduckgo.
  1. Ted S. 9 years ago
    
    And one thing I really miss from Opera is being able to use custom search engines by typing a letter or two and then your search term. So if I wanted to look something up on Wiktionary, it was "wd [word]", or for the title of a movie on IMDB, "it [title]" You could create whatever searches you used most yourself. Apparently to get custom searches in Firefox, you have to download extensions or something.
    1. jesse.in.mb 9 years ago
      
      Nyet comrade.
      
      right click on a search field on a website, choose "add a keyword for this search" and it creates a bookmark. you can then modify the keyword to whatever and it functions like you're talking about.
  2. Free Society 9 years ago
    
    I love duckduckgo. But I hear it got bought by Yahoo too.
  3. Juice 9 years ago
    
    startpage.com
Sevo 9 years ago

Only the best are selected by Obo:

"Democratic donors get rewarded with Presidio Trust plums"
[...]
"Take Lynne Benioff, whom the president just tapped to help oversee Presidio National Park.
Federal election reports show that Benioff and her husband, billionaire Salesforce founder Marc Benioff, have contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars to Democratic campaigns in recent years.
[...]
"Another Obama pick to the Presidio board is Janet Reilly, [...]
Federal campaign records show that the Reillys have contributed $330,000 to political candidates over the past two decades, mostly to Democrats, including $45,000 to President Obama in 2012.
[...]
"Obama's third pick to the Presidio Trust board, philanthropist Nicola [...]
Records show that Miner has also contributed more than $482,000 to Obama and other Democrats in recent years,"
http://www.sfchronicle.com/bay.....to-6998697 (pay-walled)

Chicago on the Potomac.
1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
  
  Presidio National Park????
  
  Oh, what the fuck
Ted S. 9 years ago

I actually saw a Gary Johnson yard sign on my way home from work today.

(It was across from a nursing home; I'm not certain if that has any higher meaning.)
1. BigT 9 years ago
  
  "GaryJohnsonyardsign" is a character in Pokemon GO, not a real thing.
  1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
    
    It's a ghost type, right?
    1. BigT 9 years ago
      
      A grass type. But not ingesting while the game is on.
  2. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
    
    It can only be found in dajjal's yard.
2. Juice 9 years ago
  
  What state?
  1. Ted S. 9 years ago
    
    I'm in the Catskill Mountains.
3. KerryW 9 years ago
  
  Here you go, shop away
  1. Ted S. 9 years ago
    
    Yeah, but I live in the middle of nowhere. (Literally, I've got a 1000-foot driveway at the end of a dead-end road and border 1000 acres of state forest.) Nobody would see a sign on my yard.
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys.

Anything over two years means they can't be Craftsman.
1. db 9 years ago
  
  Take them back to Monkeysears and they'll give you a replacement rock free.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
    
    NOT IF THEY'RE POWER ROCKS.
    1. db 9 years ago
      
      True fact: Monkeysears lost so much money handing out new rock tools to people who brought in driveway gravel that they dragged down the whole Sears and Roebuck empire.
Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago

Fin de si?cle... perp?tuellement*

A new poll of young people between the ages of 18 and 30 finds that an overwhelming 90 percent think the two-party political system has real ? though fixable ? problems or that it is "seriously broken." Three-quarters believe the U.S. is "falling behind" or "failing" as a nation.
Hyperion's Post Brexit Moment 9 years ago

Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys

Umm, yeah, rocks are not tools.
1. Hyperion's Post Brexit Moment 9 years ago
  
  UFO enthusiasts accuse NASA of cutting off a live feed from the International Space Station as part of a cover-up
  
  And a chunk of space rock is not a fucking UFO.
  1. Rich 9 years ago
    
    It's rocks all the way down!
2. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
  
  Umm, yeah, rocks are not tools.
  
  -1 this guy
Longtorso, Johnny 9 years ago

Daddies, "Dates," and the Girlfriend Experience: Welcome to the New Prostitution Economy
A growing number of young people are selling their bodies online to pay student loans, make the rent, or afford designer labels. Is it just an unorthodox way to make ends meet or a new kind of exploitation? Nancy Jo Sales investigates.

..."The girlfriend experience" is the term women in the sex trade use for a service involving more than just sex. "They want the perfect girlfriend?in their eyes," says Miranda, the young woman at our table.* "She's well groomed, cultured, classy, able to converse about anything?but not bringing into it any of her real-world problems or feelings."

Miranda is 22 and has the wavy bobbed hair and clipped mid-Atlantic accent of a 1930s movie star; she grew up in a Texas suburb. "I've learned how to look like this, talk like this," she says. "I work hard at being this," meaning someone who can charge $700 an hour for sex....
1. Hyperion's Post Brexit Moment 9 years ago
  
  Will you still get free college in jail?
  1. Chip Woodier 9 years ago
    
    If someone is getting $700 for sex, just who is exploiting who?
    1. R C Dean 9 years ago
      
      Nobody?
2. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
  
  And... This makes you angry because reasons?
  1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
    
    Bitches?
  2. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    Jesus Christ, Playa! Don't you know that some of her clients could be Negroes? Or Orientals?
  3. Longtorso, Johnny 9 years ago
    
    Who said angry? If Deltas and Gammas choose to pay for what I get for free, more power to them.
    1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
      
      If Deltas and Gammas choose to pay for what I get for free
      
      Why the fuck you lyin?
    2. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
      
      You get $700 an hour hookers for free?
      1. Longtorso, Johnny 9 years ago
        
        I bought a coupon book. Some kids were raising money for the local high school marching band.
        
        Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        It's nice that you have a soft spot in your heart for the local high school marching band. Nostalgia, I suppose.
    3. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
      
      Damn. I missed the Amazon Prime Day deal for free body pillows.
    4. Paulpemb 9 years ago
      
      I'd say being able to afford $700 an hour probably puts most of these guys out of the category of 'Deltas and Gammas'
      
      "Now, she says, she has a rotation of three regular 'clients'?'a top Austin lawyer, a top architect, and another tech guy,'"
    5. DenverJ 9 years ago
      
      Oh, this guy. Sigh
3. DEG 9 years ago
  
  Is it just an unorthodox way to make ends meet or a new kind of exploitation? Nancy Jo Sales investigates.
  
  I wonder how much a concern troll can get paid.
  1. commoditous 9 years ago
    
    Not as much as giving up the goodies.
4. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG) 9 years ago
  
  someone who can charge $700 an hour
  
  Such exploitation.
5. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  "Until I saw the check, I couldn't believe that an average-looking coed could get $700 an hour for banging some rich dude, but it's true! Click on isthatarollof100sinyourpocket.com"
6. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
  
  Makes sense. Guys their age aren't going to commit with all the free pussy available. Why not get paid.
7. Longtorso, Johnny 9 years ago
  
  And not only the money. "I'm networking," Miranda maintains, "learning things from older men who give me insights into the business world. I've learned how to do an elevator pitch. I've learned so many soft skills that will help me in my career.
  1. Longtorso, Johnny 9 years ago
    
    "She's in control of the male gaze," says another woman at the table, Erin, 22.
  2. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash 9 years ago
    
    Heh heh soft skills
  3. lap83 9 years ago
    
    "I've learned so many soft skills that will help me in my career."
    
    Naturally, you've learned skills that will help you with being a prostitute. Not sure why that's supposed to be insightful.
    1. Wasteland Wanderer 9 years ago
      
      It will make her transition into politics go much more smoothly.
      1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
        
        That, and the fact that she has blackmail info on most of the local politicians.
        
        DenverJ 9 years ago
        
        Nested deep, better specify that I'm up voting thrakkorzog.
rts 9 years ago

Hollande's Hairdresser Paid $10,958 a Month by the French State

Nothing to cut!
1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
  
  Hollande went bald?
2. CE 9 years ago
  
  L'etat, c'est moi.
Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago

Pokemon Players = On Lots of People's Lawns

The "Pokemon Go" craze across the U.S. has people wandering into yards, driveways, cemeteries and even an off-limits police parking lot in search of cartoon monsters, prompting warnings that trespassers could get arrested or worse, if they cross paths with an armed property owner.

Since the release of the smartphone game last week, police have gotten a flurry of calls from residents about possible burglars or other strangers prowling the neighborhood.

So far, few tickets have been issued, and there have been no reports of arrests or assaults on trespassers playing the game, whose object is use the phone's GPS technology to find and capture animated creatures in real-world places.

Still, that's no reason not to panic pre-emptively
1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  Now I can actually yell at millenials to get off of my lawn.
  1. DenverJ 9 years ago
    
    Me too. I haven't been this happy since the little black kids starting wearing their pants around their knees.
    1. DenverJ 9 years ago
      
      I reread that after I already hit "submit". I'd really like an edit button right about now.
      1. kbolino 9 years ago
        
        ... more like a delete button
2. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
  
  And I still don't have a lawn to yell at people to get off of.
  
  *sigh*
3. CE 9 years ago
  
  I hope they can catch 'em all.
4. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
  
  Winston has a sad; people been playing Pokeyermom all over his house for years.
  1. DenverJ 9 years ago
    
    Very nice
5. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
  
  Capt. Michael Fowler with the Hanahan, South Carolina, police said his department in the city of about 20,000 has gotten a few suspicious-activity reports related to "Pokemon Go," including multiple calls from a woman who feared for her safety as she watched cars go in and out of a church parking lot across from her house.
  
  "I didn't know what was going on. The last time I heard about Pokemon was back in the '90s," Lynn Menges, 59, said.
  
  I hate this woman with every fiber of my being and with the full fury of the ?lfh??nar.
Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago

House GOP Subpoenas AG's Trying To Suppress Climate Speech
Jerry on the rocks 9 years ago

Boris Johnson made foreign secretary by Theresa May.

Wonderful.
1. Gene 9 years ago
  
  No shit.
  1. Hyperion's Post Brexit Moment 9 years ago
    
    Has anyone sent a fleet of mulching devices to Boris?
You Sound Like a Prog (MJG) 9 years ago

Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys.

Wow. This is the most racist sentence in decades.
1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys.
  
  Pffft. So what? Humans were using stone tools long before that.
  1. Hyperion's Post Brexit Moment 9 years ago
    
    Using a rock 'as a tool' is not tool making. This is not news.
    1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
      
      Yes it is, both archeologically and ethologically speaking.
    2. CE 9 years ago
      
      It is when you drag the big flat rock to the pecan tree.
  2. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
    
    This was a stone hadron collider.
2. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash 9 years ago
  
  We're the tools found under a porch or something?
  1. Hyperion's Post Brexit Moment 9 years ago
    
    No, they're not tools. They're just rocks.
    1. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
      
      Look those archeologist spent years going to college so if they say they found a clan of monkeys who used rocks as tools, and used them for communication, and that they also worshipped rocks cause they found some monkey bones next to some rocks who are you to argue? That's their job man.
  2. mad.casual 9 years ago
    
    We're the tools found under a porch or something?
    
    Monkeys died. Tools were found. Top Men went home safe. Now quit asking questions.
John Titor 9 years ago

George Bush gives speech at Dallas Memorial Service, fails to mention himself 45 times.

Follows up with dance. Michelle looks pretty damn embarrassed.
1. That's A Bingo! 9 years ago
  
  When dancing, he looks like a child that is acting inappropriately at a grown-up event.
  1. John Titor 9 years ago
    
    Bush has a history of weird 'Let's Dance!' moments.
    1. RBS 9 years ago
      
      Did he hijack a battleship after that?
    2. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
      
      Dancing is his way of flirting with black women. Well played, sir.
      1. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
        
        She cracked up. That was funny
  2. Jerry on the rocks 9 years ago
    
    Who said you can't have a drink before noon?
  3. Ted S. 9 years ago
    
    As opposed to taking selfies at a funeral?
    1. That's A Bingo! 9 years ago
      
      That was shameful due to the horrific narcissism on display.
2. Rich 9 years ago
  
  That *zany* W! What can ya do?
  1. mad.casual 9 years ago
    
    Play a song from Kanye West?
  2. Chip Woodier 9 years ago
    
    At least he wasn't trying to give her a neck rub.
3. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  He can be so likeable. If it wasn't for that war stuff...
4. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG) 9 years ago
  
  That was... weird.
mad.casual 9 years ago

Hillary Clinton says Trump is turning "the party of Lincoln" into "the party of Trump."

I blame the Copperhead Press. When Trump declares martial law and suspends the writ of habeas corpus does it go back to being the Party of Lincoln again?
1. Arizona_Guy 9 years ago
  
  A co-worker complained that "Trump wants to bring back waterboarding"
  
  My reply: "Yeah, he needs to step it up and assassinate some US citizens. That's how you get the Nobel Prize."
  1. Rich 9 years ago
    
    Beautiful.
  2. mad.casual 9 years ago
    
    Now I'm confused, if I fly a flag as a symbolic opposition to The Union under Trump is it racist or not?
    1. Ted S. 9 years ago
      
      Are you white?
  3. Agammamon 9 years ago
    
    Did you tell him 'bring it back? We haven't actually *stopped* yet.'
OldMexican sine qua non 9 years ago

Hillary Clinton says Trump is turning "the party of Lincoln" into "the party of Trump."

Hillary should be cautious about calling the GOP the party of Lincoln especially after he disposed of so many vampires. Single-handed.

Jesse Ventura says he's voting for Gary Johnson.

Another excuse for Chris Wallace to ask Johnson why his campaign attracts so many "fringy" individuals.

Police in Baton Rouge have arrested three men they accuse of stealing guns in order to kill police officers.

So much for Glocks being cheaper than laptops.

The mayor of Newark, which just hired more than 100 new police officers, told residents of one ward sometimes they wouldn't see the police.

Just like no one sees the Tooth Fairy, I guess.

Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys.

And that is why the monkey population does not progress very much - technological advancement is just too slow.
1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
  
  So much for Glocks being cheaper than laptops.
  
  Have you specced out a gaming rig these days?
  1. R C Dean 9 years ago
    
    Yes.
    
    Yikes.
Domestic Dissident 9 years ago

The emperor of Japan is reportedly considering abdicating the throne.

Only six more months and seven more days until Emperor Mofo abdicates the throne here in America. God willing.

Please, please, please let it happen.
1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  Give it a few years...we'll all be nostalgic for the libertarian paradise American used to be under Obama.
  
  "You could pay for things with cash!"
  
  "You could criticize the government on the Internet!"
The Late P Brooks 9 years ago

And we've been disappointed that (with a few exceptions) there has yet to be a galvanizing call from the environmental movement or outdoor recreation sector to take action beyond extending condolences.

Where's Ted Kaczynski when you need him?
1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
  
  Jail.
  1. 0x90 9 years ago
    
    Keepin' busy... from the wikiapaedia:
    
    On May 24, 2012, Kaczynski submitted his current information to the Harvard University alumni association. He listed his eight life sentences as "awards" and his current occupation as "prisoner."
The Late P Brooks 9 years ago

Hillary Clinton says Trump is turning "the party of Lincoln" into "the party of Trump."

So- he can't be all bad.
1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  +1 The Real Lincoln
Enough About Palin 9 years ago

Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys
1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
  
  Those monkeys couldn't actually use their tools.
toolkien 9 years ago

Europe has free education!

So there!

But they ALSO are realistic, and if you're a bit low brow, you're steered into the trades. if you're brighter, you go into the "arts". They don't fuck around. If you're on a certain track by 16, you're "freebies" are grooved into that reality. And they don't fuck around with standards. Perhaps all this is changing as PC grows exponentially, but this is how it's been for years in Germany and France. They're haven't blown gobs of money getting everyone bullshit degrees.

But, as I've said before, for Hillary it's not just that it's free, she'll INSIST upon attendance. The aim isn't well educated people, it's the desire to make sure "criminality" declines when everyone finally stops disagreeing with State Policy.
1. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
  
  The aim isn't well educated people, it's the desire to make sure "criminality" declines when everyone finally stops disagreeing with State Policy.
  
  Uh, not sure what the criminality point is. I'd argue its just about funnelling huge amounts of money into academia and create a permanent DNC constituency a la the public-teacher's unions, and to wield enormous control over how people are "taught to think" in secondary education
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

A sweet story about the upcoming race war: The New Officer Friendly, Armed With Instagram, Tweets and Emojis

Officer Tommy Norman, a 43-year-old native of North Little Rock, Ark., and a longtime patrol officer with the city's police department, is a modern (and human) version of Officer Friendly or McGruff the Crime Dog. His campaign to change how people view the police is built for social media, with a constant stream of videos, photos and inspirational words of advice. The hashtags #CommunityPolicing and #StayCommitted are attached to each post.

Last week, as the country was roiled in protests, Officer Norman amassed a staggering 800,000 followers, in part because the son of Jayceon Taylor, the rapper known as The Game, launched a GoFundMe page to raise money for the officer's work. That effort had raised more than $66,000 as of Wednesday morning. (Last year, Michael Render, who goes by the stage name Killer Mike, also brought attention to Officer Norman during an appearance on CNN.)

"Never in my life thought I'd be raising money on behalf of a police officer," The Game wrote on Instagram on Tuesday, adding, "I'm teaching my children and those who are watching to be better than we are as a nation have been."

The link goes to a NYT story.
1. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
  
  Everyone knows McGruff the Crime Dog is at least 73% responsible for the enormous crime-declines of the 1990s.
2. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
  
  Also= I don't know what "Panda Baby!" means, but i'm pretty sure its super-racist
  1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    I don't know what "Panda Baby!" means
    
    It's a trap song; the kind of trap that decided drunk slurring and mumbling should replace "lyrical flow".
3. Juice 9 years ago
  
  Little Rock area cops are the worst. They're typical redneck cops. You know how that goes.
  1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
    
    Always chasing those dang Duke boys?
  2. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
    
    Procuring young ladies for the governor?
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

In Dallas, Our President Meets the Moment

His voice seemed a mix of exhaustion and frustration. He has hugged, consoled and cried with so many parents who have lost children, wives who have lost husbands, many of whom wore the uniform of our country or a badge or carried a backpack full with school books. The list is long and sad and often inexplicable. It numbers casualties of a war fought now 15 years; those dead who were swallowed by the street, by the violence that haunts so many specific neighborhoods isolated by neglect and tormented by those among them who prey on the innocent and the vulnerable, much of it fueled by the total insanity and cowardice of a political system afraid to require potential gun buyers to pass a background check you'd need to drive a school bus or be a Little League coach.
1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  But there is in this country, our country, the deeper, lingering violence of institutions that fail to respond to reality, to needs visible to anyone who leads a normal life: the violence of failing schools, broken families, joblessness and, for too many, lack of access to basic things most take for granted: supermarkets, banks, drug stores, hospitals, public transportation, safe playgrounds and hope. And he spoke to another reality of urban life in America when he said, "We ask the police to do too much and we ask too little of ourselves."
  
  But if you heard him yesterday, watched him, listened ? really listened ? you heard a man, the President of the United States, who spoke to what is best in us and what will save us from the calamity of racial and class division. He is the only president we have and on one American afternoon in July 2016 he was the one we so badly need.
  
  Mike Barnicle is still paid to write. Mike Barnicle most likely makes more money than you.
  1. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
    
    Maybe. But he'll always be an idiot.
  2. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
    
    I remember when Bush was president. You know what he said as he flew over New Orleans when it was swamped by Hurricane Katrina? "HA HA HA!" is what he said, "Look at all those poor darkies what can't swim". I remember those days, and I'm glad we have a president who finally cares.
  3. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
    
    Also = that article seems feels like the rhetorical equivalent of a man masturbating furiously while sniffing the inside of a dirty shoe
    1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
      
      I've received less adoring blowjobs.
  4. The Fusionist 9 years ago
    
    "Barnicle's speedy crawl out of his journalistic grave has been one of the great ongoing mysteries of the business."
    1. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
      
      That's great
    2. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
      
      And a link to Doris Goodwin and her fraudulent activity. Credit to Slate.
  5. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG) 9 years ago
    
    You know, you kind of give up the argument when you have to say the observer must "really listen."
    
    what will save us from the calamity of racial and class division.
    
    ... gun control?
2. Rhywun 9 years ago
  
  neighborhoods isolated by neglect
  
  [cite needed]
Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago

If i were inordinately wealthy, i would keep a spreadsheet of all the high-profile libtards who claimed they will move to ______ if Trump is elected and very publicly give them tickets to do so after it happens.
Chip Woodier 9 years ago

Black Lives Matter Accuse Pokemon Go of Inherent Racism. No, Seriously.
1. jesse.in.mb 9 years ago
  
  That's cute. This author is hyperventilating over another author writing a probably-not-incorrect, but overly pearl-clutchy thought piece meant to drive traffic over the sensitive subject of race.
  1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    "And that most of the monsters, have colored names?"
    
    Wait. What?
    1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
      
      By the way what ever happened to Miss Brown, the brown M & M?
      1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
        
        Everyone knows it's the green ones that make you horny.
        
        The Fusionist 9 years ago
        
        If you happen to be Captain Kirk.
        
        The Fusionist 9 years ago
        
        Hey, look what I found with a simple Google search of "Brown M racist".
        
        Sorry, I need to get away from the computer for a while...
        
        The Fusionist 9 years ago
        
        "Brown M {symbol for "and"} M racist"
        
        Agammamon 9 years ago
        
        &?
    2. jesse.in.mb 9 years ago
      
      Oh shit, I just realized there are going to be a ton of kids named Articuno in a few months.
2. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  Maybe they can put out of list of stuff that *isn't* racist.
  
  Save some time.
  1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
    
    Black Lives Matter
    Supporting President Obama (sometimes)
    Complaining (unless you are white)
    
    That is all
    1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
      
      Don't forget burning down minority owned businesses if done for the sake of the right cause.
The Fusionist 9 years ago

"Clinton Bemoans Loss of 'Party of Lincoln,'"

Every weekend, I troll the thread with articles about Lincoln, but when I search for Lincoln articles to bring you, half of them noways are on the order of "Lincoln would be appalled at Trump," etc.

Just like when I look for Civil War articles, half of them are about Marvel superheroes.
1. Brochettaward 9 years ago
  
  Democrats have been disassociating the Republicans from the party of Lincoln since well before I was born.
  1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
    
    Specifically, they've been doing it since April 15, 1865.
    1. Calidissident 9 years ago
      
      I don't think that's entirely true. In the South at least, the Democrats were quite happy to tie the Republicans to Lincoln for a long time.
      1. Drake 9 years ago
        
        Pretty pissed about having their slaves taken away?
        
        Pathogen 9 years ago
        
        No, they were "Pretty pissed about" having their asses thoroughly kicked by the Yankee army of a hatchet-faced nutmeg dealer..
2. DenverJ 9 years ago
  
  Just like when I look for Civil War articles, half of them are about Marvel superheroes.
  
  I was just now, this very night, not more than 10 minutes ago, was discussing this. My position was, that due to being taught using proper key words to search the card catalog, my Google skills are better than today's yutes.
3. Hank Phillips 9 years ago
  
  In truth, in Uncle Tom's Cabin they were the Red Republicans--the ones that published the Communist Manifesto in English, complete with progressive income tax. These were after the Rebellion referred to as "radical" republicans, but a high-tariff looter by any other name is still a high-tariff looter.
The Late P Brooks 9 years ago

"I'm teaching my children and those who are watching to be better than we are as a nation have been."

When college is free, everyone will speak this way.
Ken Shultz 9 years ago

"Police in Baton Rouge have arrested three men they accuse of stealing guns in order to kill police officers."

Another loophole!

Maybe Hillary should call for us to start requiring background checks for stolen guns.
1. Ken Shultz 9 years ago
  
  I give you people gold.
  
  Comedy gold.
Ken Shultz 9 years ago

"Scientists in Brazil have found 700-year-old stone tools used by monkeys."

The Washington Post calling these people "scientists" isn't doing climate change researchers any favors.

I looked up the people referenced in the article. They appear to be cultural anthropologists--not even primatologists.

https://www.mpg.de/5773119/Chimpanzee_tool_use

There is always a circle of uncertainty associated with any science; in cultural anthropology, that circle of uncertainty is a hell of a lot bigger than it is in physics and chemistry.

I suspect finding 700 year old chimpanzee tools is controversial even among anthropologists.

But, you know, how can you argue with scientists? If they say they found 700 year-old monkey tools, then we have to believe them because they're scientists, right?
1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 9 years ago
  
  But is there a consensus?
  1. Ken Shultz 9 years ago
    
    Yes, but it's always changing.
2. Mickey Rat 9 years ago
  
  "I suspect finding 700 year old chimpanzee tools is controversial even among anthropologists."
  
  Especially in Brazil,
The Late P Brooks 9 years ago

and, for too many, lack of access to basic things most take for granted: supermarkets, banks, drug stores, hospitals, public transportation, safe playgrounds and hope.

I, uh...
1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  "hookers, heroin, hennessey..."
  
  "Mr. Barnicle, sir, your microphone is still on."
  
  "Uh, I meant, these are things they should all be protected from."
BigT 9 years ago

Stingray evidence thrown out by judge.

http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKCN0ZS2VI
1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  Hmmm...I've never heard of that particular U.S. Attorney before, is he nice?
  
  /sarc
Rockabilly 9 years ago

I say Clinton and Sanders are turning "the party of JFK" into "the party of Karl Marx."
Knarf the Yenrab 9 years ago

Hillary Clinton says Trump is turning "the party of Lincoln" into "the party of Trump."

Who do these GOP candidates think they are running around stating their opposition to wars started by the Democrat's nominee? What is this, 1941?
1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  Ask Hillary if the Democrats are still the party of Jefferson and Jackson.
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

Goodbye, obesity epidemic! Budweiser, MillerCoors and other big brewers agree to adding nutritional info to beer labels

Michael Jacobson, the president of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, an advocacy group, said that the absence of calorie labeling on cans and bottles has helped obscure what a major dose of calories alcohol can be, and that the beer companies should go further.

"Brewers are allowed to artificially color, flavor, sweeten and preserve their products, as well as use foam enhancers," he said in a statement. "If the industry takes pride in its ingredients, it should list them on labels and not simply on the web."
1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  "Objects on retina are uglier than they appear"
  1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
    
    "Do not hand this product to anyone and tell them to 'watch this.'"
    1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
      
      "Drink contents of can before attempting to crush it on your forehead."
      1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
        
        [on bottom] "Open other end."
2. Ted S. 9 years ago
  
  Fuck the Center for Science in the Government Interest. They encouraged McDonald's to stop frying their french fries in tallow and use trans-fats instead.
3. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  "Contents do not improve dancing or singing abilities.
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

Great, orchestral cover of "Black Hole Sun" from the Postmodern Jukebox folk featuring Haley Reinhart

Who is Haley Reinhart? This sweet gal.
1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 9 years ago
  
  Those red pants have to go, though.
2. Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 9 years ago
  
  But seriously, that was almost as awesome as this. Almost.
  1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
    
    It's a pity she can run so fast...
  2. AlmightyJB 9 years ago
    
    Damn
  3. Cdr Lytton 9 years ago
    
    I can't believe you used a version without Sabrina Salerno's singing.
Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 9 years ago

Airport workers in Philadelphia have voted to strike during the Democratic National Convention at the end of the month.

Democrats will rhetorically stand in support of them and all working families, film at 11.
Entropy Drehmaschine Void 9 years ago

Finally!

Go Gatah!
1. commoditous 9 years ago
  
  Right, the feds tailing suspected terrorists are totes the same guys investigating financial crimes. Christ, what a maroon.
  1. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
    
    Christ, what a maroon.
    
    See? I knew yall was racist.
2. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
  
  This is a pretty rich moment
  
  She gets all indignant when the CNN Anchor asks, "Would you think this shooting (of Trayvon Martin) would have made such a stir in political circles if he were not black?"
  
  and she gets all huffy-puffy, saying, "why, there was a white woman killed just a few months ago and i assure you it mattered as much to me as anyone killed in my district and i made sure the investigation was as comprehensive and blah blah blah...."
  
  and the CNN anchor goes, "And what was her name?"....
  
  .... and......
  
  .....uh....
  
  ..... uhm......
  
  .... looks off camera for someone to help her with cue cards.....
  
  then launches into a rant about how shit is all fucked up in America and rich people are fucking over the poor
  1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    I inserted this in my head at that moment.
    1. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
      
      What's funniest is that you can be pretty sure that the CNN people had *absolutely no intent* of trying to undermine her or make her look bad, but once the anchor asked the question, she couldn't just drop it without undermining her own premise
      
      (e.g. what could she say? "Oh, don't worry Rep. Brown, it doesn't matter?" - imagine the shit CNN would have taken for saying that. Basically, once she asked the question, it was a matter of "either you look bad, or I look bad, and frankly the ball is in your court now. best of luck digging yourself out of this one")
      1. LarryA 9 years ago
        
        best of luck digging yourself out of this one
        
        Yeah, but that's something politicians keep failing to learn. If you land in a hole, quit digging.
  2. Hank Phillips 9 years ago
    
    That's from that State of Play movie, where Russell Crowe, reporter, asks the politician for the name of the family friend's mom... Good trick for outing manipulative smirkers.
Troy Woodchipper 9 years ago

but aren't joining his calls that she should resign.

Republicans are grade A cowards. Not at chickenshit as your average millennial male, thank god for them.
1. widget 9 years ago
  
  Trump suspects RBG has dementia. I think he's right, though a bit callous. The progressive counterpoint: "Reagan did too." Probably so too, 30 years ago. But he's DEAD NOW.
  
  A businesswoman and employer who became a friend suffered from Alzheimer's starting about when she was 70yo. Not me, nor anyone else near her, caught on to this for about 3 years. The gal was an immigrant from Lebanon. She did not graduate high school. She spoke at least 3 languages fluently and couple of others she could work with. She could add a column of numbers up her head. I suspect RBG has about that level of raw intellect, but with a different background.
  
  The cops had to pick my friend up for having a 100 or so citations in her car's glove compartment before anyone close to her knew the problem.
2. LarryA 9 years ago
  
  Why would Republicans want RBG to resign before the election.
  
  No new justice will be confirmed before then, so it just gives the president another opportunity to grandstand.
Quincy. 9 years ago

Larry ? the indolent, the unmovable, the irrepressibly charming ? just might be the most dependable political figure in the U.K. today.
1. widget 9 years ago
  
  I assert that it is wrong to put a collar on cat !
  
  OK, so you might want to put a flee collar on your cat for a week of two, but generally speaking...not.
  1. Rhywun 9 years ago
    
    I can see if it's a outdoor cat, you would put some ID on there. Mind are indoors, so... no collars.
    1. Rhywun 9 years ago
      
      "Mine"
  2. Quincy. 9 years ago
    
    I assert that it is wrong to put a collar on cat !
    
    But that bow tie is so cute!
    1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
      
      Great now even Tucker Carlson is calling himself a libertarian.
Akira 9 years ago

"The emperor of Japan is reportedly considering abdicating the throne."

That raises the question - why the fuck does any country have an emperor or monarch anymore? If I were a citizen of one of these countries, I'd be pretty pissed off that my tax dollars were being spent to provide a luxurious lifestyle and a literal PALACE just for the descendants of some crowned ruffian. They should boot their asses out of those palaces, then sell the properties to whoever wants them. That way, they can actually be turned to some productive and profitable purpose instead of just being financial black holes. And the members of "royalty" can go get a fucking job like the rest of us.
1. The Hyperbole 9 years ago
  
  And the members of "royalty" can go get a fucking job like the rest of us.
  But they have a job, it's called being smarter than the rest of us and keeping our shit from not getting all retarded and fucked up.
2. Juvenile Bluster 9 years ago
  
  IIRC, the British crown is a net contributor to the economy due to all the tourist $$$ they bring in. Not sure about other countries.
3. Rhywun 9 years ago
  
  Enh... if the Japanese don't want a monarchy, they seem free enough to get rid of it.
4. widget 9 years ago
  
  Because monarchs have an interest in seeing future generations of their offspring also becoming monarchs. This is a serious argument raised in some alt-right circles. The argument is raised against the consistently failed "let me have the power now" left-leaning democracies. Monarchs have to tread much more carefully.
5. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
  
  why the fuck does any country have an emperor or monarch anymore?
  
  some countries like to maintain some ties to their historical identity, as a gesture of acknowledgement to the inherent superficiality of the 'bureaucratic state'.
  
  The imperial family in japan is actually the oldest hereditary dynasty on earth.
  1. widget 9 years ago
    
    Why did you change your handle? A lot of other frequent Reason H&R posters do so also. I did so a couple of times about 6-10 years ago, but not since.
    1. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
      
      Just felt like it.
    2. widget 9 years ago
      
      To Dennis?
      
      You're worried 'bout somethin' GILMORE.
      
      The best H&R handle is already taken by John.
  2. Hank Phillips 9 years ago
    
    Oldest and most radioactive hereditary dynasty on the 3rd Rock.
6. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  I'm guessing that for countries like England and Japan the cost of keeping the monarchy around is a tiny drop in the bucket for the sake of keeping a tradition. For actual monarchies like Saudi Arabia and Jordan, the monarchs have all the guns, so good luck getting rid of them.
7. LarryA 9 years ago
  
  why the fuck does any country have an emperor or monarch anymore?
  
  To travel around performing all the ceremonial BS the head of state needs to take care of.
__Warren__ 9 years ago

I have a 700 year-old minkey that I use as a tool.
1. Quincy. 9 years ago
  
  I have a Bosch cordless Multitool. It's just a few years old, but it could be used to cut up monkeys in a Rise of the Planet of the Apes scenario. Should stock up on batteries and chargers, though.
2. 0x90 9 years ago
  
  Do you have a license?
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

An entire evening gone by with no new content. Is this what my $5 annual webathon donation buys now?
Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago

A pictorial description of every Hit 'n Run thread ever.
1. __Warren__ 9 years ago
  
  Fuck you, ass-weasel.
  1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    FUCK YOU TOO, BITCH!
2. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
  
  Is the green flag symbolic of something?
  1. __Warren__ 9 years ago
    
    YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!
  2. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    Is the green flag symbolic of something?
    
    It's a green screen...put whatever you want on it.
    1. Dark Lord of the cis 9 years ago
      
      So... a rattlesnake, or something with boobs?
      1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        Elbows and assholes.
3. widget 9 years ago
  
  Are you a green-flag-waver, HM? Is that what you're tellin' me! Just when I thought you might like some early Elton John songs with Bernie Taupin lyrics too.
4. See Double You 9 years ago
  
  It's quite literal.
Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago

Anyone watching the ESPY's tonight?

/ducks.
1. Rich 9 years ago
  
  Anyone watching the aspies tonight?
  
  *** ducks ***
  1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
    
    SO INTENTLY. THINGS WERE OUT OF ORDER
2. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  I'd rather attend a Joyce Carol Oates reading.
Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago

http://reason.com/archives/201.....nt_6260467

Should I be proud or angry? I've been zinged by Hihn. Does this make me official around here?
1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  your mom wishes you died in the womb
2. Sevo 9 years ago
  
  Well, you're now hihn-fected, so I'd see a doctor sometime soon.
3. Krabappel 9 years ago
  
  That guy is just too classy for the rest of us.
4. Charles Easterly 9 years ago
  
  Should I be proud or angry? I've been zinged by Hihn.
  
  Currently, Rufus, there is a tiny flying insect which must have gained access to my living spaces whilst I was going in and out to my grill. On occasion it annoys me by entering my field of view. I am neither proud nor angry.
  
  Does this make me official around here?
  
  I do not think so, Rufus, although it does seem to me that Crusty's comment in response to your query might have been a "welcome aboard" type of statement.
  1. Heroic Mulatto 9 years ago
    
    By the way, from last night. In case I wasn't clear, I have eaten Crying Tiger Steak many times. It is one of my favorites. I just have never prepared it as I have a pro in the house.
    1. Charles Easterly 9 years ago
      
      HM,
      
      I understood. Thanks for the clarification nonetheless.
      
      Even though I still intend to try the fare from "hole in the wall" Chinese restaurants around my area, I wouldn't mind learning your wife's recipe, yet only if this is appropriate. It is my opinion that among the many topics discussed here on the H&R threads, the sharing of recipes is among the best.
      1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        Well, let's start the interview.
        
        1) What is your area?
        
        2) How many Lee Kum Kee products do you stock in your kitchen?
        
        3) What is your favorite brand of fish sauce? (answer this one carefully)
        
        Charles Easterly 9 years ago
        
        What is your area?
        In easy traveling distance to the types of "hole in the wall"Chinese restaurants which HM mentioned previously.
        
        How many Lee Kum Kee products do you stock in your kitchen?
        Here again, PM, I find that there are an almost uncomfortable number of coincidences with regards to the various ongoing threads being discussed on H&R.
        I shall answer "more than one, yet likely less than might be stocked in the kitchens of other individuals who very much enjoy cooking according to their family and/or favorite recipes and experimenting with and creating their own recipes.
        
        What is your favorite brand of fish sauce? (answer this one carefully)
        Here it is, PM (and perhaps I would have saved your time by answering your third question first) - I do not use it and thus have no favorite.
        
        Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        No offense intended. I just wanted to know where you live, and if you have hoisin, plum. and black bean sauce in your kitchen.
        
        Charles Easterly 9 years ago
        
        I did not take offense, PM.
        
        Today I happened to use Lee Kum Kee's Pure Sesame Oil as an ingredient for dinner, thus my reference to coincidences.
        
        ... hoisin, plum. and black bean sauce
        
        Go on.
        
        Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        So, this whole thing goes back a long way. I used to go to a Szechuan place growing up. Once a month, maybe more. They had maybe 150 items on the menu. Poorly translated to English, so you never knew what you were getting. Each time, though, the food was delicious.
        
        It took me almost 10 years to gain the trust of the owners. They knew I was an amateur cook, and not a threat to their business. So, they gave me a peek behind the curtain.
        
        Almost everything was Lee Kum Kee. Hoisin sauce, Oyster sauce. Black bean sauce. Plum Sauce. Spare Rib Sauce.
        
        They wouldn't give me the exact recipes, but when you use these sauces, you'll recognize the flavors.
        
        Sadly, they went out of business about 5 years ago. I have yet to find an adequate replacement.
        
        But, if you're going to stir fry some meat, onions, and vegetables. any one of those sauces is a good start.
        
        Charles Easterly 9 years ago
        
        Thank you, PM.
  2. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
    
    Yeh well Crusty...anyway.
    1. Charles Easterly 9 years ago
      
      For Frith's sake, Rufus,
      
      This seems to me to be one of thousands of (internet) places where one will be pounded without mercy unless* that one currently "trends" in accordance to the more present/in attendance commentators' groupthink views.
      
      Declare yourself "Official" - why not?
      
      *"pounded without mercy unless" - of course, the merciless pounding does occur with great frequency regardless.
      1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        The pounding shall continue, both in frequency and amplitude.
      2. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
        
        Why do you encourage Playa?
        
        Charles Easterly 9 years ago
        
        I hope that my existence and comments are fundamentally immaterial to Playa.
        
        As should both be immaterial to you, Rufus.
        
        Point made?
        
        Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
        
        I like you, therefore your existence is material to me. Rufus, on the other hand....
        
        Charles Easterly 9 years ago
        
        Rufus, on the other hand.... passes the Dutchie?
        
        In keeping with the idea of being disparaged by one of the commentators here on H&R, I am reminded of the time Fist of Etiquette responded "HOW DARE YOU" to me and another individual with regards to this video from Fist's era .
        
        It seemed to me at the time that he thought we were being ageist.
        
        With regards to Rufus, PM, my sense is that it behooves Rufus to consider his good qualities in light of the display of "good qualities" his contemporaries evidence on a near daily basis.
        
        Charles Easterly 9 years ago
        
        Oops: this video
        
        I must away. Gooday all.
5. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
  
  You are not official until Hihn adds your daguerreotype to his scrapbook of Gentlemen of Four Outs.
  1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
    
    down your jeans with a can of beans
Hank Phillips 9 years ago

So Jesse Ventura finally grew some cojones? Last I read from him he was horrified of LP calls for eliminating the communist manifesto tax. Since 1913 the world has finally gotten to see communist governments and policies in action. Before then, and before gulags, genocide, war and tedes-schutzen, there were only prophesies and predictions about how wonderful an anarchist dictatorship of the proletariat would be someday.
1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
  
  That dude lost his fucking mind.
  
  He was great about 15 years ago. Now, I'd serve him Thanksgiving Dinner in a smoothie, and make sure he got his 6 hours of Matlock.
  1. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
    
    Would you include cranberry sauce in the smoothie?
    1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
      
      He won't remember, but it makes it harder to clean his diaper.
      1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
        
        At least you know it's crab sauce, cause he ain't got time to bleed.
        
        Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
        
        Cranberry sauce, goddamnit.
straffinrun 9 years ago

Talking with my Japanese co workers. Consensus is that the Emperor will abdicate to avoid succession problems. Oldest son only has a daughter, but the second son has a boy (and two sisters). The Emperor could steer succession to the second son more easily were he to abdicate before he went totally senile. Sounds about right.
1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
  
  Unclear. But I think I get it. Your son will be emperor.
  
  Can I buy you dinner?
  1. straffinrun 9 years ago
    
    Not being entirely unknown for avoiding clarity, the Japanese penchant for obsequiousness isn't necessarily frowned upon.
    1. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
      
      Uh... so what's for dinner?
2. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
  
  Why do I picture you surrounded by giggling women?
  1. straffinrun 9 years ago
    
    Robust legs, perky breasts and deference. Yes, I like it.
    1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
      
      Sounds like Crusty. Well, may be not deference.
    2. Playa Manhattan. 9 years ago
      
      Robot legs?
3. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  Just so long as he doesn't try to divide the kingdom, because I already saw that movie, and it doesn't have a happy ending. (Great visuals though.)
Shit Pyrate 9 years ago

"Clinton Bemoans The Loss of The Party of Lincoln"
...

This coming m a Southern, Progressive , Democrat.

HAHAHAAHAHAHA !!!!!!!
1. Shit Pyrate 9 years ago
  
  *from
2. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  She's as southern as poutine. She spent the first 30 years of her life in the Chicago Washington corridor. The only time she's vaguely southern is when she ain't no ways tired.
Brian 9 years ago

SEXUAL KNEADS We try trendy new vagina 'massage' but at ?250 a session, pleasure comes at a price

The yoni massage is exclusively for women and focuses on a lady's private parts. But the treatment comes at a price ? an hour-long session can cost up to ?250.

SOMEONE CALL THE HUMAN TRAFFICKING TASK FORCE! NO ONE WOULD WILLINGLY MASSAGE VAGINAS ALL DAY UNLESS THEY HAD NO CHOICE! ZOMG! BEGIN MORAL PANIC!
1. Chipper Morning Wood 9 years ago
  
  I set up a booth for this at the last farmer's market, and only charged $5, but I had no takers.
  1. Brian 9 years ago
    
    Well, duh, you had no takers because you are obviously a PREDATOR.
2. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  I'm pretty sure there are some videos on the internet showing that the masseuses don't seem to mind.
  1. Brian 9 years ago
    
    Yeah, because patriarchy!
    1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
      
      Nope. Pretty sure if I could give a chick a massage that would instantly give any lady an orgasm, I would be all over that, along with plenty of other guys.
      
      Poking around downstairs is kind of anticlimactic, if you're the the type of guy that thinks that women should have orgasms as well.
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

Hillary is the most specialist ever
1. Charles Easterly 9 years ago
  
  Your lack of faith in the presumptive First Female President Of The United State is noted, Crusty.
  
  Is it not possible that the undergarments which you expected/hoped Lady lap of H&R was going to send to you will be replaced by a set of undergarments chosen as appropriate by the one whom you disparage?
2. Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago
  
  If anyone does leak - it will be that there there's nothing TO leak, and that's the "big secret".
  
  Because the investigation succeeded in avoiding charges by purposely avoiding "asking questions" that would lead to acknowledgement of crimes. They had a bottomless pit of secondary-evidence. but without getting people to testify *about* the secondary evidence, it was always 'not enough'. The testimony they purposely acquired was all simply for show.
  
  the only question(s) i think worth investigating are the situation with Pagliano - e.g. why was he given immunity if there was not enough evidence to believe any crime had occurred? and what testimony did he provide in exchange for immunity - and then the situation w/ Blumenthal, who was in possession of intel that had no business being anywhere near him.
  1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
    
    Considering Comey's non-answers about the C;inton 'charity' fronts, it looks like there still might be some token investigations happening there.
3. Sevo 9 years ago
  
  "Sources said they had never heard of the "Case Briefing Acknowledgment" form being used before, although all agents must initially sign nondisclosure agreements to obtain security clearance."
  
  They'd never before had to deal with such a slimy POS with these sort of protections someone required.
  Does anyone know who required those protections? Who approved them?
  Gotta be Trump, since if you find that hag as obnoxious as her husband does, you must be a Trumpbot
lukashik 8 years ago

Showbox Download, Showbox Apk Download, Showbox App Download: Nowadays technology has brought a lot of changes in our lives, especially in education and communication.
Dennis (n?e GILMORE?) 9 years ago

What was that supposed to be?
Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago

What's it showing?
thrakkorzog 9 years ago

You posted a link to gmail.
Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago

Yeh but is it showing my...stuff?
thrakkorzog 9 years ago

Not unless people have been bcc'ing you all my mails.
Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago

What I'm *asking* is when I'm signed in to my account will people be able to access it by clicking on that link? Paranoia brah.
Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago

Removed! Like magic! Thank you Reason! Or was it Penn & Teller?!

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