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Politics

John McAfee Will Be the Next President of the United States, Says John McAfee

How will he do it? "I don't have a f*cking clue." Inside the wild dreams of the John McAfee/Judd Weiss campaign for the Libertarian Party's nomination for president and vice president.

Brian Doherty | 5.20.2016 9:10 AM

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"We can't use standard political methods, I promise you," says John McAfee, antivirus software pioneer and seeker of the Libertarian Party's presidential nomination, sitting next to me on a couch at the Phoenix Bar in Las Vegas, shortly after the Libertarian Party presidential debate there on Monday.

Then he adds: "I don't do things I can't win. I win, I promise you. I know that sounds insane. He doesn't believe it!" McAfee says of his running mate, Judd Weiss, sitting on the next couch. (Weiss made an early fortune in his 20s brokering commercial real estate deals, and now as an avocation has made himself the libertarian movement's semi-official glamour photographer) 

McAfee/Weiss Facebook

Weiss had been telling me about the spirit behind a series of somewhat abstract, non-policy videos he'd been making to promote the McAfee/Weiss campaigns. Their purpose, Weiss says, is to make voting third party not something that made you strange or pointless, but a leader, a "hero, the idea was—be a hero, change the world, vote different. I'm trying to glorify," Weiss says, "not debating or arguing. That's also what I do with my photos [of libertarians and libertarian world events]."

"We should give up and go home if we're conventional," Weiss says.

McAfee hearkens back to one of his comments in the debate. "I'm not joking about running naked in the streets with signs. I will do that shit. I have the ability to sound sane in a suit right after that." Such moves "soften them to listen to what you're saying, that's all it is."

McAfee perhaps sees doubt in my eyes.

"Don't discount us!" He says sharply. "I'm not doing this to make a fucking statement. I do not have the time! How old are you?"

"I'm 47."

"I'm 70! You can do anything you want to waste time. I can't. I'm doing this to change the country that I love as much as I love myself. So you can believe it. I don't give a shit or not whether you believe it! It's whether I live it. And I live it, I have lived it my entire life."

McAfee gets reflective. "It suddenly became clear to me [last September]: I could become president. Do I want that? Not really. Would it help me? I don't know. Will it help the country I love? Yes, and here we are. People ask, 'How are you gonna do that?' and I don't have a fucking clue. I just know I will."

He goes on to tell the story of how he was slammed by Gizmodo for lying about having his people crack WhatsApp's encryption, and how the resulting bad press made the board of directors of a company he'd just been named CEO of, MGT Capital Investments, pressure him to recant.

He refused, and despite this the stock price kept going up. Why? All the bad press, he insists, made people start reading more about this crazy man and his company and decide "I don't know if he's crazy or not, but he will make money, we'd better bet on him." 

"I must have gotten 100 Twitter messages telling me 'I'm going to abandon your stock after reading Gizmodo but then I spent 12 hours researching you and threw another million into your stock.' That's why the stock went up."

When a crisis is erupting around you in public, he explains, you do not want to quickly put the fire out; you let it blaze until "every newspaper on earth has called me a liar. Then you have power! Then you can say, you are all fucking watching, aren't you? Let me tell you what the truth is….I have learned one thing in life: there is no such thing as bad press. There is not. That's a fundamental truth. The more bad things said about you the more power they give to you. If you own whatever truth there is. Sometimes there's nothing but truth, and sometimes there's nothing but lies." But the end of that story, to McAfee, is the stock rise of MGT Capital Investments immediately thereafter. (Yesterday it took a big tumble.)

The lesson we should learn? "I can sure as fuck make money and I can sure as fuck win this election. I'm not trying to convince you. In six months you'll be saying, 'I had no clue,' I promise you."

He looks at Weiss again. "You don't believe it, but give yourself some time. He's more conservative than me."

Weiss concurs. "I would love it, but I don't believe it. I share his vision but I don't necessarily believe in the White House [as a sure thing]."

"The beauty of knowing yourself," McAfee avers, "is nobody else has to."

Weiss goes on to explain part of the plan to get into the debates if McAfee wins the nomination is to "make him such a figurehead of media and such a part of pop culture that the public will not watch a debate without John McAfee. I believe a rock star like him is capable of pulling it off. And Gary Johnson…."

Gary Johnson, the former New Mexico governor and apparent frontrunner for the L.P. nomination, has made it plain he thinks the L.P. won't succeed if he can't get in the debate.

"The problem with Gary Johnson," Weiss continues, "it's not about baking Nazi cakes, the problem is he's boring as fuck, super awkward and no one is excited about him, not even his own supporters." Weiss stresses he loved and supported Johnson in 2012, hosted two fundraisers for him in his Bel Air home at great expense, though he was embarrassed by the "Gary Gets It" slogan.

McAfee interjects: "I have no problem with Gary Johnson on any political issue…."

"I'd be happy to live in Garyland," Weiss adds.

"Here's the problem," McAfee offers. "America does not want an exemplary character. They don't. We know this for a fact. They want someone over the top. Someone who has real balls and real experience. Donald Trump has experience only up here, all right, sitting in an executive's chair. I have real fucking experience and real experience including bullets flying over your head teaches you more than any doctoral degree or political experience."

"The beauty of insanity," McAfee continues, "is that they don't have to like you. They will come and listen to you. I have more trolls than supporters on all my sites, all it does is creates a character. Every last word said about me…"

McAfee/Weiss facebook

Weiss explains: "Outrage isn't a problem for Bernie, or for Trump. Apathy is the problem. If Bernie had played it safe, he'd be nowhere. If Trump had played it safe, nowhere. If we play it safe we might as well go home. We are going to do things that are not OK. I mean, OK by libertarian standards, but we hope to create enough outrage to generate real protests…."

McAfee leans over me to touch Weiss. "By the way, to be very honest, my biggest problem is Judd as vice president. I'm gonna have to polish your ass. Right now I follow your orders, but after this nomination you have to follow mine. I'm gonna polish your ass a little bit, OK?"

Weiss doesn't seem at all offended. "Will McAfee turn off certain people? Sure. We're not going after midwestern housewives. We're trying to create something more exciting." He thinks that the arty end of Bernie fans—not the hard-left economics types but the artists, the festival scene—might find McAfee an appealing option. McAfee says all the millennials he meets consider him a fount of strange wisdom. Weiss assures me that like everything he's done, he will run this campaign "to the edge of my abilities" and try to take the liberty movement as far as it can go.

"After I announced my candidacy," McAfee says, "and Gary stepped in, I thought: 'What alternate universe are you from, Gary? You have no idea. You clearly didn't research me.' Because, I even consider Darryl Perry [a hardcore anarchist seeking the L.P. nomination, who refuses to file papers with the Federal Elections Commission or take donations in anything but hard money or altcoins], I consider him a viable opponent because the fucker is smart as hell and has this presence and charisma while debating, and that shit's important! He just needs to be crazier, Darryl.

"But Johnson? I mean, I google Johnson, and what did I miss? What did I miss about Johnson that he has any concept that he can beat me? What did I miss?"

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NEXT: No Right to Speedy Sentencing Says Supreme Court, Republicans Want Party to Get Behind Trump, Oklahoma Criminalizes Abortion: A.M. Links

Brian Doherty is a senior editor at Reason and author of Ron Paul's Revolution: The Man and the Movement He Inspired (Broadside Books).

PoliticsJohn McAfeeGary JohnsonLibertarian Party
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  1. SIV   9 years ago

    Sounds good to me. John McAfee has my support 100%

    1. Lee G   9 years ago

      He's not the candidate we need, but he's definitely the one we deserve.

      1. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

        Do we really want McAfee's finger on Lady Liberty's nipple? Yes we do.

        1. Lee G   9 years ago

          A trojan horse in every PC!

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            A "free" copy of McAfee Antivirus with every Java update! Wait, we already get that.

            1. Jasmine15789   9 years ago

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    2. How You Like Me Now?   9 years ago

      Yeah, I'm with SIV. I even forgive him for murdering Episiarch. Just don't do it again.

  2. DJF   9 years ago

    Then its settled, shut down the campaigns, we don't need to vote.

  3. Ken Shultz   9 years ago

    McAfee is the only candidate who can make Libertarianism ridiculous again.

    Never mind Badnarik and his railing against driver's licenses.

    Never mind Lew Rockwell Ron Paul and his newsletters.

    Screw that. Let's go full retard!

    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

      The major parties are doing it, I don't see any reason not to join them.

      1. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

        After reading this, all I can think is, "This is Trump if he was a Libertarian". It seems to work for Trump, so why not McAfee??

        1. Ken Shultz   9 years ago

          When Trump says politically incorrect things, his supporters read that as integrity.

          McAfee actually does crazy things, and people just read it as crazy.

          "My 'double', carrying a North Korean passport under my name, was in fact detained in Mexico for pre-planned misbehaviour," Mr McAfee wrote. "But due to indifference on the part of authorities was evicted from the jail and was unable to serve his intended purpose in our exit plan."

          http://tinyurl.com/h5djkl4

          1. mfckr   9 years ago

            McAfee actually does crazy things, and people just read it as crazy.

            Or? you just see it as crazy.

            Whereas the rest of us fall in love

            1. Ken Shultz   9 years ago

              I'm sure using a double with a North Korean passport to act as a decoy and throw off Mexican immigration officers seems perfectly normal . . . to people in the lock down unit at the county funny farm.

              Do they let you use laces, or do you have to keep your shoes on with rubber bands?

              1. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

                Do you yell at those kids on your lawn to get a haircut and pull their darned pants up?

              2. mfckr   9 years ago

                I'm sure using a double with a North Korean passport to act as a decoy and throw off Mexican immigration officers seems perfectly normal

                ? and any of this is a negative to Libertarian-inclined folk how, exactly? Trolling the state is a very respectable pastime and should be celebrated.

              3. BluthHousing   9 years ago

                Have YOU ever escaped from Belize?

        2. Euphemisandry   9 years ago

          "It seems to work for Trump, so why not McAfee??"

          Trump is a Republican. His base and exposure are guaranteed.

          If the LP nominates Petersen or McAfee, our brief moment in the sun is officially over. Basically the only thing we have going for us right now is the idea that we're the least crazy of the 3 parties. Nominate the troll or the schizo, and that shit dies on the convention floor.

          Boring is better right now. The people who want an over-the-top character already have one - they're not going to leave him for another over-the-top character. The people who are refusing to vote for Trump or Hillary aren't doing so because neither are big enough loudmouth assholes.

          1. SIV   9 years ago

            Trump has the Republican nomination sewed up because he isn't actually a Republican. Those guys suck, especially the ex-Republican governors of New Mexico and Massachusetts who are trying to use the LP.

      2. Suicidy   9 years ago

        Actually this is the best time to come out as the adult in the room.

    2. mfckr   9 years ago

      Goddamn Ken, quit being such a boring sperg. Embrace your inner McAfee.

    3. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

      And Gary Johnson doesn't sound completely ridiculous when he says things like he can't rule out more non-defensive wars of choice, and it's appropriate to wield the threat of government force to coerce a Jewish baker into baking a cake for a Nazi?

      You're one of the few intelligent regulars Ken, so I know that you know that all these guys are ridiculous.

      1. Ken Shultz   9 years ago

        It's a novel opportunity to present Libertarians to America as the respectable party.

        A charlatan, a crook, or two former governors?

        Maybe the only chance the LP has ever had to be the grown up in the room.

        Don't go for the only guy in the world that seems crazier than Hillary or Trump.

        1. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

          It's a novel opportunity to present Libertarians to America as the respectable party.

          ...And be completely ignored by the media.

          1. CE   9 years ago

            But they're not being completely ignored. Johnson has polled at 11% and 10% in 2 national polls already, and the results were reported on Fox News.

        2. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

          He's not even going to be in a debate. These ridiculous lawsuits have zero chance of winning; there's hardly a judge in the entire country who would actually rule in favor of the 1% parties. You know it, and I know it.

          1. CE   9 years ago

            Unless he polls at 15%. And he's already in double digits. Just needs some big spending and publicity.

          2. JFree   9 years ago

            The whole point of Weld IMO is he's exactly the sort who can worm his way into GOP establishment and get the nevertrumpers there to 'find a reason' to include him. Trump himself won't mind - more attention. And if GOP says ok - what are the Dems gonna do - refuse to debate?

            1. Suicidy   9 years ago

              Cankles and the Wasserbeast might do just that.

    4. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

      Hey, libertarians are contrarians above all, aren't we? So if everyone says to never go full retard, there is only one option.

    5. Banjos   9 years ago

      Ron Paul grew the libertarian movement by 10 fold.

      1. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

        Proof? How many of the new converts really took to the liberty cause, and how many are now supporting Trump?

        1. Banjos   9 years ago

          Fuck if I know. But I can tell you the number of people self describing as libertarian and libertarian groups have grown 10 fold since I was in college 10 years ago. When people would ask me"what the fuck is that" when I told them that I was a libertarian. Ron Paul's '08 and '12 presidential runs gave mainstream attention to libertarianism and now it's household word. We now how libertarians starting to be represented in the mainstream news media, something I thought would never happen 10 years ago. It's almost entirely due to Ron Paul's presidential runs.

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

            10 times nearly zero is still approaching zero.

            But you are right, Libertarian concepts are a much bigger part of the conversation.

            Libertarianism is still considered a freaky outlier, despite the shitstorm that the two party system has brewing.

        2. DOOMco   9 years ago

          Me.

        3. Diomasach   9 years ago

          How about the fact that Gary Johnson got 1% of the vote last year (which was substantially higher than any previous Libertarian) and is polling at 10% now?

          1. CE   9 years ago

            Anyone not named "Trump" or "Clinton" (or "Bush") would be polling at 10% against Trump-Clinton.

      2. Ken Shultz   9 years ago

        "Ron Paul grew the libertarian movement by 10 fold."

        God wouldn't let David build his temple.

        He'd killed too many people. Had too much blood on his hands.

        Moses never made it into the promised land. He only saw it from a distance.

        For everything Ron Paul has done for the libertarian movement, we should all be thankful.

        He wasn't the guy to make the LP respectable.

        If the Republican Party tailspin continues, libertarians have an opportunity to gain more influence than we've ever had before. For everything there is a season. A time for crazy. A time for respectability. I think now's the time for the latter.

        Thus sayeth Shultzathustra.

        1. Banjos   9 years ago

          Respectable is code word for throwing away your principles so you will be liked. Fuck being liked. My principles are right. Their's are wrong.

          1. Ken Shultz   9 years ago

            What principle do you throw away by voting for Johnson?

            1. JFree   9 years ago

              Never throw your vote away on someone who's ever won anything.

        2. mfckr   9 years ago

          I don't think you understand that politics isn't necessarily about cultivating a respectable image, but is foremost about wielding impact & influence.

          I guarantee that in my pre-Libertarian days, Johnson would've had zero persuasive effect on me. He'd just strike me as a fuddy-duddy goofball (is that really 'respectable'?) whose claim to fame was being a small businessman and a successful governor? ugh someone narrating their life story? mountains? bla bla something weed? boring?

          While Ron Paul actually did persuade me, simply because when he talked he actually conveyed core ideas & precepts that connected with my own sensibilities in an immediate way. That's not something Johnson can accomplish.

    6. CE   9 years ago

      Ron Paul was the best presidential candidate since Thomas Jefferson.
      And Michael Badnarik had a point about driver's licenses -- you shouldn't need state permission to transport your private property down a public thoroughfare.

      But in a race against Clinton-Trump, the LP has a chance to be the sane alternative for once.
      Hopefully they do the smart thing and nominate Johnson.

  4. Rich   9 years ago

    "America does not want an exemplary character. They don't. We know this for a fact. They want someone over the top. Someone who has real balls and real experience."

    "Are you ready for HILLARY?!"

  5. Libertarian   9 years ago

    I enjoyed the non-policy Weiss video. It was good, not great. Not sure a billion dollar government project (the Space Shuttle) should have been the last big shot, though.

  6. Jerryskids   9 years ago

    People ask, 'How are you gonna do that?

    MC Afee knows all about computer viruses and how they work, how computers can do whatever a hacker tells them to do. See that voting machine? That's a computer. MC Afee knows how to hack it. Do I gotta draw you a pitcher? Don't be surprised when MC Afee gets eleventy billion votes for President, wins 256 gold medals in Rio and gets unanimously selected to this years All Star game. I'm just sayin'.

    1. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

      He can be America's answer to the Kims!

  7. mfckr   9 years ago

    My nigga.

    1. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

      Training Day seems like a good analogy for McAfee's campaign.

      1. mfckr   9 years ago

        Wicked parallels indeed.

      2. Citizen X   9 years ago

        I didn't know you liked to get wet.

        1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

          Ju ever had your stool pushed in!?!

  8. DEATFBIRSECIA   9 years ago

    He's crazy as fuck, but I'd enthusiastically vote for him.

    Unless he picks Kasich as VP.

  9. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

    "every newspaper on earth has called me a liar. Then you have power! Then you can say, you are all fucking watching, aren't you? Let me tell you what the truth is....I have learned one thing in life: there is no such thing as bad press. There is not. That's a fundamental truth. The more bad things said about you the more power they give to you. If you own whatever truth there is. Sometimes there's nothing but truth, and sometimes there's nothing but lies."

    Ha. Finally a candidate with mostly good policies that understands what Trump understands.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      This. Buckets of it.

      Dude's nuttier than squirrel shit, and so long as he'll probably not get the win, I'll probably vote for him. He's positioning himself as an excellent protest ticket.

  10. WhatAboutBob   9 years ago

    "We can't use standard political methods, I promise you," says John McAfee..

    Then he adds: "I don't do things I can't win. I win, I promise you.

    The lesson we should learn? "I can sure as fuck make money and I can sure as fuck win this election. I'm not trying to convince you. In six months you'll be saying, 'I had no clue,' I promise you."

    Is he talking about Trump?

    1. Ship of Theseus   9 years ago

      I promise you.

      1. TommyCelt   9 years ago

        It's gonna be YUUUUUUGE.

  11. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

    As historian NAM Rodger said about Thomas Paine:

    "He's the kind of guy you're embarrassed to have on your side."

  12. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

    He may be a colourful character, but I STILL can't get rid of his crappy antivirus software. DEALBREAKER!

    1. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

      Wait, what???? When did you come back?????

      1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

        Today. I felt sentimental and decided to visit since I have no cases today. Things have calmed down here considerably these days since The Invasion.

        Also, my wife banned me from American Political Stuff, since I tended to scream at the teevee and the computer out of sheer rage.... Zhena Groovova doesn't like the kids awoken from nap time. It was great for my BP.-)

        1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

          Your dreams were your ticket out.

          1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

            "Hi There!!!!!!"

            BTW, thank you for the linguistic advices you gave me, HM; they literally saved my life. No joke.

            1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

              It was my pleasure. Good to hear everything is well with you and yours.

            2. How You Like Me Now?   9 years ago

              Obama was so much cooler back in the day

              Did you have any interactions with "Little Green Men"?

        2. Banjos   9 years ago

          How many mini Groovuses do you have now?

          1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

            Three lil' chitlins, actually: One Groovakita (Vladimir) and the twin Groovovankas (Elissabeta and Julalija).

            Given Ken's condom allegergy, I assume you have increased your brood, yes?

            1. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

              We're at three as well. And my older two, of course.

              Reason Sophia
              Liberty Ordeth Cranberry
              Justice Forall Sloopy Juneteenth

              1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

                My! That must have cost bidders a pretty penny, assuming you auctioned off names or had a raffle or something.

                Cranberry, huh? Not following that one... Did Saccharin Man write some more slashfic and inspired you somehow?

                (it's *always* his fault)

                1. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

                  "Cranberry" was because she was born on thanksgiving. Kara and the nurse recoiled when I originally proposed "Gravy Boat"

            2. Banjos   9 years ago

              We stopped after three. My pregnancies became increasingly brutal. Had my tubes tied up when the last one was cut out of me. We have three beautiful little girls.
              Reason Sophia
              Liberty Ordeth Cranberry
              Justice Forall Sloopy Juneteenth

    2. Rasilio   9 years ago

      Wait, you're alive? We feared your Ukrainian sex goddess loved you up and turned you into a horney toad

      1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

        Quite, Rasilio! Glad to see you as well! She still does and just the thought of her makes me, "Stand at attention and salute." We're very happy; and no pesky Belizesque alleged murder charges either!

        1. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

          Dude, what the fuck? I got pictures I need to send you.

          1. SugarFree   9 years ago

            And they are cute pictures. He's learned The Puppetry of the Penis.

            1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

              Hiya Saccharin Man! How's it hanging? *chuckles*

              Any penis pics go straight to the wife (her being a urologist and such).

              1. SugarFree   9 years ago

                Pendulous. That's how.

                1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

                  Stupendulous, no?

            2. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

              They were actually baby pics and follow up pics after Reason's surgery. Groovus might just be professionally interested.

              I'm still working on the dick pics you requested although I'm having a harder time than I thought picking out a furry costume.

              1. SugarFree   9 years ago

                Oh, c'mon. We all know you are a scaly.

              2. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

                Yes, please do. Both I and wifey would like to view Baby Rea.... err Reason's surgery resolution.

                Otherwise, a tasteful tutu and fairy wings should suffice...

                1. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

                  Dude, this is bizarre. I was JUST thinking about you last night. AND YOU'RE HERE!

                  WTF?

                  Why aren't you dead?

                  1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

                    Why aren't you dead?

                    I. AM. THE. KWISATZ. HADERACH.

                    In all seriousness, when Donets'k got invaded, I wasn't sure I would survive. It wasn't pretty. And I'd prefer to leave it at that.

                    If you have a more reliable email address, email me from it. Because, you know, yours hasn't worked very well for the LAST THREE FUCKING YEARS!

                    Yes, apologies about that - had my logins revoked for a period of time; I actually had a to hire a professional Whitehat to actually get it fixed. I pissed off the wrong person at the wrong time a couple of years back. I didn't get it addressed sooner because, well, getting married (which is YOUR fault, BTW), starting a family, getting overrun with belligerent Russian invaders, general mayhem, OH! And the Government dissolved and started over via a country wide revolt..... AND trying to keep my family alive and fed, not mention protecting what assets I could during The Transition.....

                    Well, I am sure you understand, yes?

                    In fact, I am now logged in to this addy and going through three years worth of inbox.

                    1. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

                      I. AM. THE. KWISATZ. HADERACH.

                      Great movie!

                    2. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

                      Great movie!

                      Off yer medz agin', I see. Poor, misguided, demented, delusional soul. SAD!

                    3. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

                      Medz won't help.

                    4. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

                      But seriously, my friend, we were worried about you. We had all kinds of theories. I personally thought you just got completely pussy-whipped, but the dead thing was a close second.

                      Glad you are back and okay.

                2. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

                  If you have a more reliable email address, email me from it. Because, you know, yours hasn't worked very well for the LAST THREE FUCKING YEARS!

                  1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

                    Y'all are getting catfished.

    3. Banjos   9 years ago

      Sweet Jesus on a pogo stick! You're alive!

      1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

        (((HUGS))) Tales of my demise were greatly exaggerated. Heh!

    4. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

      G R O O V U S ! ! ! ! ! 1 1 1 1 tenplusone 1 ! !

    5. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

      Praise Trump! Putin didn't get you.

    6. The Immaculate Trouser   9 years ago

      Groovus! Welcome back.

  13. straffinrun   9 years ago

    Something to the effect of "The addiction is the Heroin addict's punishment" is where he got my vote.

    1. Drake   9 years ago

      Yes - he was so much better than Johnson in that debate.

  14. Aresen   9 years ago

    Well, if McAfee is installed, every government program will grind to a halt.

    And it will be impossible to uninstall him.

    1. Mike Laursen   9 years ago

      Good one.

  15. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

    "Graphic design is my passion"

    --John McAfee

    1. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

      I almost never lol. But I lol'ed at that.

  16. Detroit Linguist   9 years ago

    I just gave the Gary Johnson campaign some money--now I may give them some more. We need to offer an alternative to goofiness, not even more of it....

    1. Drake   9 years ago

      Gary Johnson is the alternative to goofiness?

      1. mfckr   9 years ago

        Was my 1st thought too.

      2. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

        He makes goofiness dull.

    2. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

      Let me guess, you're a generativist/minimalist. Only the boys from the Institute could be such stuffed shirts.

      1. How You Like Me Now?   9 years ago

        Linguistics throwdown, aw shit. First one to explain to me how we can fully revive the Irish language--like we did with Hebrew--gets my undying discipleship.

        1. Renegade Jew   9 years ago

          They revived Hebrew wrong. That Sephardic shit is bothersome. Or, to be accurate, bothertome.

  17. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

    Someone who has real balls and real experience.

    Just what we need, a transphobic bigot. He doesn't care about the ball-less that consider themselves to have balls? He doesn't care about the ones that have had their vagoo moved and a set of fake balls stapled to their crotch? They're not good enough for America, John?

    Rico would have walked out of this interview.

  18. FreeRadical   9 years ago

    I do dearly wish that the McAfee-variant virus would infect government at the highest levels. And also fight the Trump and Hillary variants in an immunological battle for the ages!

    And then my inner responsible self tells me: sriracha sauce is not supposed to be the main ingredient. Yes, you want quite a bit of it to get that chicken hotted up, but you're still there for the chicken.

    So now I'm left with Johnson and his LINO VP choice. If I compromise now, does that mean that the Libertarian brand will be compromised forever, just as the Republican brand has been? You know, the "we can't stick to principle because electability!"

    I struggle and I'm thinking Johnson is the right choice.

    p.s. Should we celebrating due to the very fact that there is drama in all of this?

    1. mfckr   9 years ago

      My take is that this isn't a 'responsible' election season, ergo it'd be a mistake to approach it as such. If everyone maintained that mentality, our election choices would be Hillary/Bush/Johnson to the end of time.

    2. Foo_dd   9 years ago

      i gave Johnson the slight edge until his VP pick. i have concerns with Weiss about elect-ability (he does not help McAfee outside the libertarian party), but at least he does not have a record that spits in the face of libertarian-ism.

      does anyone know how often the convention makes a VP pick that was not what the presidential candidate asked for?

      1. FreeRadical   9 years ago

        I wondered that too. Would it make even the slighted sense to have McAfee as Johnson's VP?

        Probably not because McAfee would just say fuck you! to everyone at the convention and then secretly install McAfee anti-virus on every device in the hall.

        1. Foo_dd   9 years ago

          i don't think McAfee would do it. he strikes me as the guy who wants to be "the" guy, or forget it. (i do think a combination of these two would probably be the best ticket we could come up with this cycle).

          McAfee already has the outsider thing going for him, he really could use someone with more experience for national appeal.

          Johnson already has the experience thing going for him. not sure why he decided to bring another former republican governor into the mix. (plus.... the awful record on libertarian ideals.)

      2. mfckr   9 years ago

        I read the other day that they overrule candidate VP picks frequently. Don't have the link on hand, but you can probably find similar info.

        I half-suspect Weld was recommended to the Johnson campaign by people wanting an anti-Trump Republican-ish guy in the race. He just seems so oddly out of place and has nothing to lose by running.

  19. Diomasach   9 years ago

    I like John McAfee, but I don't think he would be the best candidate. Yes, Johnson is boring. But if he gets on stage with the Great Orange Hope hurling insults and his usual bombast, and the Shrieking Harpy barking and scolding then boring will be exactly what people want to see. He can stand back and let them shriek and yell and insult each other while he sets himself apart as the only grown up in the room.
    I'm afraid if it is John McAfee on stage with the Cheeto and the Harpy then we'll need to get Jerry Springer to moderate the debates.

    1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      Ask Jeb how well the "only sane man in the room" schtick worked for him.

      1. CampingInYourPark   9 years ago

        and Kasich

        1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

          Kasich staying on through Wisconsin was proof that Kasich was the craziest man in the room all along.

          1. How You Like Me Now?   9 years ago

            oh snap

          2. Drake   9 years ago

            Kasich declared "mission accomplished" and dropped out minutes after Cruz dropped. He had one job and he did - make sure a conservative wasn't nominated.

      2. Diomasach   9 years ago

        Jeb! was boring in a GOP field of what, 650 boring candidates? When it comes to the General and there are basically three choices, I think sane and rational is the way to get the highest vote total. Is he going to win? Probably not. But if he can keep the 10% he is polling at now, or even increase it, then the Libertarian Party will finally get some press and some respect. He is our ticket to the grown up table.

    2. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

      then we'll need to get Jerry Springer to moderate the debates.

      Why would you ever say that like it's not the greatest idea ever? Seriously, we need a petition.org thingy to make this a reality.

    3. Brochettaward   9 years ago

      Don't be stupid, ya moron.

      We already tried this. The GOP already did this. Rand Paul was right up there on the debate stage and was far more coherent and articulate than Gary Johnson can ever hope to be. It failed miserably.

      1. mad.casual   9 years ago

        Rand Paul was right up there on the debate stage and was far more coherent, and articulate, libertarian, and arguably popular than Gary Johnson can ever hope to be.

        Remember the libertarian moment? When Rand was the GOP and *the* libertarian nominee?

    4. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      "boring will be exactly what people want to see"

      Hahahahahahah.

    5. SugarFree   9 years ago

      No, no, no! Johnson is not on the right side of THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE OF THE DAY, so he must be rejected. Instead you should vote for Trump. He's has no anti-liberty ideas whatsoever!

    6. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

      "I'm afraid if it is John McAfee on stage with the Cheeto and the Harpy then we'll need to get Jerry Springer to moderate the debates."

      And everyone would watch.

  20. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

    The guy has a bit of a messianic/maniacal L. Bob Rife vibe.

  21. Mike Laursen   9 years ago

    "I'd be happy to live in Garyland," Weiss adds.

    Galtimore, Garyland

    1. How You Like Me Now?   9 years ago

      #Hamsterdam

  22. Brochettaward   9 years ago

    A lot of people don't get Trump. A lot of the libertarians here don't really get his success. Even now as they type how any press is good press. Trump is basically trying to be the Howard Stern of politics. He attacks you, he puts you on the defensive and uses you to advertise him. We are already seeing it with Hillary. Scandal and Trump's attacks are going to be all she's asked about going forward.

    You don't fight that by trying to be the respectable guy in the room. You do it by out-crazying him. And the libertarian has just the guy to do it, but a lot of you fuckers want Gary motherfucking Johnson as your protest candidate. Because of respectability. It's just sad.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

      You do it by out-crazying him

      Who, pray tell, "out-crazyed" the King of All Media? A lot of shock-jocks attempted to do so back in the day, but none really ever achieved the popularity of Stern. And where is Stern now? Fact is, eventually people get tired of of 'crazy', which is how you deal with it. You wait out crazy.

      Now, this isn't an endorsement of Johnson as much an observation of a simple truth.

      1. Brochettaward   9 years ago

        Howard Stern is 62. He's still the top draw in radio. No one out-crazyed him, true enough. A lot of morons tried the shock jock thing and just got themselves fired because they lacked tact. But sure as shit no one got close to Stern by being the straight sensible guy in the room. Trump aint no Stern. And waiting out Trump does nothing this election cycle.

        McAfee has a chance to put the libertarian party on the map this cycle. The media will gleefully cover him. And he is crazier and smarter than Trump.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          The media will gleefully cover him.

          And then instantly dismiss him as a joke.

        2. Brochettaward   9 years ago

          Why? The Dems are going to be looking to divide the Republicans and take votes away from Trump. Especially as it becomes clearer how pathetic of a candidate Hillary is. McAfee will give them the reason and something to cover.

          The media is going to give Gary Johnson even less respect and coverage than Rand Paul. Gary Johnson is a dumber, gayer, less charismatic Rand who an awful lot of you seem oddly attached to. The guy would be a great Republican candidate if he had stayed in the GOP (at the state level or perhaps Congress). He's a lousy libertarian candidate with a watered down and mostly incoherent brand of libertarianism on top of a dull personality.

          1. mfckr   9 years ago

            Gary Johnson is a dumber, gayer, less charismatic Rand who an awful lot of you seem oddly attached to.

            The GJ attachment is def. odd. I mean he seems like a nice guy and I can't hate him?but holy shit get with it you fuckers, he's a terrible communicator. Especially for this cycle.

          2. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

            The Dems are going to be looking to divide the Republicans and take votes away from Trump.

            The guy would be a great Republican candidate

            I really don't get you. The Dems will want to divide the Republicans. They'll target Republicans turned off by Trump's craziness and point to... McAfee's craziness? Wouldn't they want a more establishment Republican to run against Trump?

            1. Brochettaward   9 years ago

              What the media wants is to push the leftwing narrative in the laziest and most profitable way possible. As their coverage of Trump has shown, they don't really think past go or at least beyond the bounds of their echo chambers. Johnson looks nice on paper. A safe alternative to attract the never Trumpers. Only, he's uninspiring. There's nothing there to cover or write about. You put him in front of a camera, and you want to fall asleep. McAfee stories write themselves.

              Reason has been trying to make Johnson interesting for years to an already receptive group and failed. Even they have barely written or talked about him until recently.

              1. Suicidy   9 years ago

                Too busy picking Rand Paul apart, or writing five 'Trump sucks' articles per day, or making the libertarian case for Hillary. For a libertarian website, Reason sure publishes a lot of progtarded horseshit.

            2. Brochettaward   9 years ago

              Should also add that I made a point to say that Gary Johnson could succeed in politics at lower levels in an established party. Not go out on in his own as a trailblazer for a third party.

        3. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

          Howard Stern is 62. He's still the top draw in radio.

          You misspelled "Rush Limbaugh". Limbaugh draws in about thirteen-fold more listeners per week than Stern.

          1. Brochettaward   9 years ago

            Let's move Rush exclusively to a pay service and see how he does. Stern brought in millions of his audience, and still draws over a 1m viewers. If Rush was the same sort of draw, the market would pay him like it.

            1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

              Let's move Rush exclusively the goal-posts

            2. Brochettaward   9 years ago

              There's no goalpost shifting. Stern remains the top radio personality. The top draw. The radio market values Stern above Limbaugh. You are the one who made 'top draw' into ratings - not me. For a guy who is irrelevant, he's sure being paid a shit ton of money.

              1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

                Oh, fuck off with your pigeon chess. You've twisted the meaning of 'top draw' well beyond it's semantic limits as well as providing no hard empirical data to support your claim; whereas, I have supported my argument with citation to actual data. Just admit it, dude, you were caught talking out of your ass. Don't compound it by continuing to argue in bad faith.

                1. Brochettaward   9 years ago

                  Yea, it's pigeon chess to point out that Howard Stern is still the highest paid radio personality pulling in $95 million a year after you called him irrelevant. And there's Chipper Morning Wood to agree with you going all the way back to his 2004 switch to Sirius.

                  http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/top-drawer.html

                  But you instead want to sit here and focus on top draw, forcing me to use your precise interpretation of it and ignoring all nuance like the fact that one guy is on midday for free and the other is on a paid subscription service in AM.

                  Guys who are irrelevant don't get paid $95 million a year.

                  1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

                    Funny, I don't recall ever calling Stern "irrelevant". But that's just how your mendacious ass rolls, isn't it, by putting words in your opponent's mouth? However, I would counter that Limbaugh could back 95 million a year too if NBC paid him to be a judge on a variety game show as well (Because nothing says 'shock' like network-TV family entertainment). Nevertheless, despite your hissy fit, the fact remains that Stern is still nowhere as popular as he was during the 90s-early 2000s as evidenced by the fact that on his primary medium, Limbaugh has 13 times the audience as he does. That fact is incontrovertible, regardless of your attempt at equivocation .

                    As you have repeatedly shown yourself to be dishonest, I have nothing more to say to you. I'm sure your next post will consist of the rhetorical equivalent of Yosemite Sam hopping up and down in rage combined with whatever nonsense your mid-functioning autist's mind can approximate as a 'withering insult', but I'm done with you. So strut around on the shit-splattered chessboard, Mr. Bruschettaward; you've earned it!

                    1. Brochettaward   9 years ago

                      If Limbaugh's audience is 13x as large and that's what matters, why does the radio industry value Stern more? Stern is worth an extra $150 million more than Limbaugh. Hint - it's more than AGT making up the difference. Though maybe if Limbaugh knew how not to get himself fired from outside gigs, he'd be worth more.

                      Also, I'm really 'mendacious' to equate this statement to calling Stern irrelevant (also a term used by Chipper Morning Wood):
                      "And where is Stern now? Fact is, eventually people get tired of of 'crazy', which is how you deal with it. You wait out crazy."

                      Seems pretty damn clear what you are saying to me.

              2. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

                Stern is boring as fuck these days. He stopped being relevant the moment he went to satellite.

                1. Brochettaward   9 years ago

                  I'm hardly a fan of the modern incarnation of Howard Stern, but even his 'safe' still gets away with things that I don't think any other media personality could in the current climate. And it isn't because he's so irrelevant no one is even listening.

              3. Suicidy   9 years ago

                Stern makes close to $100 million per year with his new contract.

          2. How You Like Me Now?   9 years ago

            Do people pay $100+ one time and $60+ per year to listen to El Rushbo repetitively fart out of his pie-hole?

            1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

              Do people pay $100+ one time and $60+ per year to listen to El Rushbo repetitively fart out of his pie-hole?

              No, but advertisers pay 10s of thousands of dollars to sponsor his pie-hole farting, so I'm not sure of your point here.

              1. Slammer   9 years ago

                Hey HM, I have a question for you: English language triple contractions? These are legit? I mean, I know people use them, but I'm asking if they're "correct/standard".

                1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                  You shouldn't've asked.

                2. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

                  Hey HM, I have a question for you: English language triple contractions? These are legit? I mean, I know people use them, but I'm asking if they're "correct/standard".

                  Outside of an specific attempt to render a spoken utterance into text, they are heresy in need of purging through steel and flame.

                  1. Slammer   9 years ago

                    Thanks!

                3. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

                  There is no such thing as "correct/standard" when it comes to language. There is only frequency of use. Linguistics should be primarily descriptive, especially for libertarians. Human brains are not processors to be programmed, although that is certainly what the ones in power like to think.

                  1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

                    Human brains are not processors to be programmed, although that is certainly what the ones in power like to think.

                    And Scott Adams.

                    There is no such thing as "correct/standard" when it comes to language. There is only frequency of use. Linguistics should be primarily descriptive

                    I agree with you; however, I don't ignore the fact that from a sociolinguistic standpoint a "prestige dialect" is a thing.

                    1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                      Human brains are not processors to be programmed, although that is certainly what the ones in power like to think.

                      And Scott Adams.

                      And L. Bob Rife.

                    2. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

                      I agree with you; however, I don't ignore the fact that from a sociolinguistic standpoint a "prestige dialect" is a thing.

                      Of course. Social signaling of group membership has often been primarily through language. That is why medieval nobility were all into falconry. If you gave someone a blank stare when they said that their tercel was in yarak, they knew right away that you were a pretender.

                    3. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

                      I briefly thought about falconry as a hobby, but NH law requires a few years of apprenticeship and I figured that if I were going to pay that kind of money to an instructor before starting a hobby, I'd rather go for my private pilot's license.

                    4. Slammer   9 years ago

                      This was a really popular book

                    5. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

                      This was a really popular book

                      Yeah, I read it last year. It was half about falconry and half about dealing with the loss of her father. A worthwhile read.

                    6. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

                      I briefly thought about falconry as a hobby, but NH law requires a few years of apprenticeship and I figured that if I were going to pay that kind of money to an instructor before starting a hobby,

                      I don't think a falconry sponsor will demand payment. The major costs are all the equipment and the building of the mews. The cost is about $1000 for everything.

                      I'd rather go for my private pilot's license.

                      Why not both?

                    7. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

                      I don't think a falconry sponsor will demand payment.

                      It's been a while, but I remember from my investigations that the area schools were asking for like 30 to 50 dollars for an hour's class. The equipment costs were in the 700 to 1000 dollar range.

                      Why not both?

                      I already have a few other hobbies. Only room for 1 more at this point in time.

                    8. Hank Phillips   9 years ago

                      Scott Adams readers have convinced themselves that the antichoice GOP will beat the pro-choice party. But none of them are betting money. English and Irish bookies are still betting 3 to 1 the Dems win, and have done so for the past month. The odds are updated constantly. If the Dems were going to lose, betting on that outcome would be a winning proposition. So what's the problem?

                    9. Lord at War   9 years ago

                      Three words...

                      Leicester City, asshole

        4. Zeb   9 years ago

          They will ignore him just as much as they would any Libertarian candidate. The media already has their Trump.

          Maybe I'm wrong. It would be great if it played out the way you suggest. But I doubt it would.

          1. Brochettaward   9 years ago

            Entirely possible. But I know full damn well they'll ignore Johnson. Makes Jeb look like a rock star.

            1. Zeb   9 years ago

              Johnson is dull, no denying that. But I could see his relative normalness working for the LP in this election as a sensible alternative for some republicans.

              But the most likely thing is still probably that the LP gets ignored by the press as usual, whether they nominate Johnson or McAffee.

            2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

              Low-T! Sad!

            3. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

              #Don'tIgnoreTheJohnson

          2. Hank Phillips   9 years ago

            They sure as hell won't ignore our spoiler votes. Lots of governors have been elected president. Antivirus magnates, not so many... but I'll take any pro-choice libertarian and platform.

    2. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      Thisthisthis.

    3. Rasilio   9 years ago

      The thing you're missing is that McAffee can't out crazy Trump because the media will just utterly ignore his attacks on Trump.

      There is 0 chance that any of these guys even wins a single state and the odds that any of them pulls more than 5% of the total vote is miniscule with Johnson being literally the only one with a shot of that

      1. Brochettaward   9 years ago

        You don't attack Trump at all.

      2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        Eyes glaze over for anything other than a) furriners swarming over the border, raping the womens, or b) transgendered people literally dying in the street because they can't use the bathrooms of their choice.

    4. JFree   9 years ago

      uses you to advertise him

      Ding ding ding! Someone finally gets part of why Trump is winning. But it ain't about his demeanor/tone. His policies actually threaten powerful people who've been screwing things up for everyone else. So they've spent tons of money attacking him and in so doing give him credibility to precisely the people who are actually angry about what's been going on.

      Problem is the LP has a policy platform that purports to be radical but that actually threatens nobody in power. They can't claim they had a damn thing to do with gay marriage, pot legalization, 'free trade agreements', effectively open borders, object to bailing out bankers but then do it anyway cuz OMG property rights and can't do class warfare. But hey, elect our candidate - a polyamorous barista Quaker with six pre-teen spouses - to keep the US doing almost exactly what we've been doing while sounding like we want to do different things. Cuz - hey we're cool and edgy.

      Angry people vote third party. Cool edgy people don't vote.

      And BTW - Trump is the candidate who is likely to get the NAP vote as well. While the LP is trying to figure out how to appeal to the neverTrump neocon vote.

    5. Robert   9 years ago

      That's why it's going to be President Biden.

  23. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

    How many fetishes can you fit in one photo?

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      I got to seventeen and then took a cigarette break.

    2. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

      How did you know that I like to masturbate onto Persian rugs?

      1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        I prefer bare floor.

      2. Slammer   9 years ago

        *straight into the half drunk Gatorade bottle*

    3. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

      There is even something for John in that picture.

  24. See Double You   9 years ago

    OT: Federal judge imposes sweeping sanctions on DOJ, requires ethics classes for litigators in 26 states

    Blasting the U.S. Department of Justice for its earlier conduct in a major immigration case that is currently before the U.S.Supreme Court, a federal judge in Brownsville, Texas, on Thursday imposed sweeping sanctions on the department's litigators and demanded a remedial response from U.S. attorney general Loretta Lynch.

    "[T]he Justice Department lawyers knew the true facts and misrepresented those facts to the citizens of the 26 plaintiff states, their lawyers and this court on multiple occasions," wrote U.S. District Judge Andrew Hanen in his Thursday opinion (PDF),

    It requires all DOJ lawyers who litigate in the 26 states to take three hours of annual ethics training for the next five years. It also calls on Lynch to provide to the court within 60 days a "comprehensive plan" detailing how such unethical conduct will be prevented in the future among DOJ lawyers and counsel at its Office of Professional Responsibility and appoint an individual to take responsibility for ensuring DOJ compliance with his order.

    Why not disbar these attorneys?

    1. FreeRadical   9 years ago

      Wow, those 3 hours of training a year are going to sting!

      1. See Double You   9 years ago

        Government lawyers are like cops: more power, less responsibility.

        1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

          If only they'd had three hours of training per year before establishing a pattern and practice of systemic corruption, this could have all turned out differently.

    2. Hank Phillips   9 years ago

      Why not define "ethics"? I work in the middle of those bureaucrats and no way do they conceive of ethics as "a standard of values to guide our choices and actions." Those guys are all about the fallacy of equivocation.

  25. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

    SIGN THE PETITION to make Jerry Springer the moderator for all presidential elections.

    He's not the moderator we want but he's the moderator we deserve.

    1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      When I was a feckless young prog I listened to Springer's Air America program. He was surprisingly sedate given his reputation.

    2. Slammer   9 years ago

      Link no worky

      1. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

        how about this one?

        1. Slammer   9 years ago

          Cool

          1. sloopyinTEXAS   9 years ago

            Please pass it on to as many people as you can. Fuck it, I want to see if it sticks.

            1. FreeRadical   9 years ago

              I was the 4th to sign it and now all of my facebook friends will see it.

  26. Glide   9 years ago

    I would happily vote for McAfee in the general, and he's by far the most interesting and charismatic public speaker/debater on the LP stage. That said, I'm not sure whether it's better to go safe and boring or wild and crazy when the main goal is not to win, but to establish enough viability now to win in the future. Some people like wild and crazy. Some don't want to vote for a tinfoil hat wearer. I'll let the smarter people with actual LP memberships decide the best course.

    1. mfckr   9 years ago

      This election cycle is crazy. Go with crazy.

      1. Cyto   9 years ago

        One more time folks.... anyone who has Dwayne Johnson's number, give him a call. He could easily carry the day if he headed the libertarian ticket.

        With two mainstream candidates that have greater than 50% negative ratings, all you need to do is get on the stage. And Trump has guaranteed that whoever you put up there is going to look like a serious candidate.

        1. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

          If Mick Foley was his running mate and they actually ran as the Rock n' Sock Connection, it would just about be the greatest thing in the history of politics.

  27. Cyto   9 years ago

    In other news, the Brits might be even bigger wusses than US.

    Filming the new Top Gear, Matt LeBlanc left tire marks on the pavement from doing burnouts. And there was a WWII memorial nearby!

    The city council says they are going to make them pay for cleaning up the damages (rubber marks on the pavement).

    Bonus handwringing of lots of pictures of skid marks on pavement that have only mostly disappeared after 12 hours!

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      Might be?

      Clarkson wouldn't have apologized. The BBC really fucked themselves there.

      1. Cyto   9 years ago

        In their defense, the article didn't mention anyone setting up safe spaces and counseling sessions for those who might have been triggered.

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          No, but that sort of nonsense does seem to have penetrated mainstream culture a bit more over there than it has here.

    2. Slammer   9 years ago

      You know who else left tracks all over Europe?

      1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        Eurorail?

      2. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Portuguese heroin dealers?

      3. straffinrun   9 years ago

        They were on Heroin when they wrote "Final Countdown"?

      4. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

        Mata Hari?

      5. simple man   9 years ago

        James Bond's pecker?

      6. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

        Ze Wehrmacht?

      7. Hooha   9 years ago

        Everyone but me, the last time I played 'Ticket to Ride; European Edition'?

  28. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

    They're really taking a page out of the Hair's playbook, huh?

    Whatever. I'm not gonna vote either way, bitches!

  29. straffinrun   9 years ago

    Here's an easy caption contest pic. Keep it classy as usual boys.

    1. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

      "Bill, your Cardassian neck is showing despite all that makeup."

    2. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

      "You think it hurts now? Wait until I pull it *out* of your ass."

    3. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

      "Stop staring up that girl's skirt, you bastard! Everyone else is looking the other way!"

  30. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    I like this guy

  31. Hank Phillips   9 years ago

    Waitaminnit... Darryl is a hardcore anarchist? He never told me that... What gives?
    Alluva sudden McAfee is starting to look sane.

  32. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

    I like McAfee. He is certainly more principled than Johnson. And if the election was about a purity test, he'd be the man. I'll certainly vote for him if he's the nominee, BUT...

    The goal isn't winning the election. The goal is bringing people under the tent. Most of the folks we are targeting currently think libertarians are batshit crazy. The target audience will take one look at him, confirm their beliefs, and never give the LP a second thought.

    GayJo is more of what they are used to. When looking for an alternative to the insanity that is Trump/Clinton, they will give Gary a fair look, and perhaps pull some folks to the cause.

    Johnson will, IMHO, be better for liberty, in that respect, than McAfee.

    1. Knarf Yenrab!   9 years ago

      Most of the folks we are targeting currently think libertarians are batshit crazy.

      I may be imagining things, being batshit crazy and all, but that seems to be what sells.

      Friedman, Rothbard, and Aristotle had their day. Now we need wrestlers and pron stars hawking the freedom philosophy if we are to turn the tide.

      1. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

        Um...

        No.

        I look at my folks, hell I look at pretty much everyone I know, and if you asked them if they're pro liberty they'd all say certainly. But they don't realize they aren't. A reasonable man, dressed in reasonable clothing, who doesn't swear in public... has a shot at explaining his position. McAfee, will be perceived as just another Hollywood whack-job.

        Many many people still believe in the sanctity of the office of the presidency. Starchild isn't the way to reach them.

        Loud and bombastic is a good way to get attention when no one is inclined to look at you to begin with. This election is different. There are a shit-ton of folks out there looking for an alternative. Be reasonable (in their eyes) and you just might win some good will.

        1. JFree   9 years ago

          Yes this election is different. My dad (a lifetime moderate 'Main Street' type Republican) is gonna vote L or not vote. My mom (who would love to see the first woman prez before she dies) is about 60% there. And once they decide to do 'something different'; they are the sort who will tell all their neighbors in their old-folks community - just for the shits and giggles. But 'person of interest in a Belizean murder investigation' ain't the sort of shits and giggles they would even remotely consider.

    2. mfckr   9 years ago

      Humans don't waste effort listening to boring people unless they have to. People like Johnson are generally avoided.

      1. mfckr   9 years ago

        Do some of you not understand how loathsomely boring people like Johnson are perceived by most normal humans??

        1. JFree   9 years ago

          Yes. They are exactly the sort of people who get elected President. Sure charisma and good speaking helps. But batshit loon doesn't. 44% of voters in 2012 were over 50 - 19% were under 30.

    3. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

      Yep, I don't see how any other prediction is credible. Weld looks terrible, and probably won't get the VP nom, but Johnson/Weld would allow the LP to say, "We're the only ticket with executive experience and a track record of governance. See? We're not crazy or useless or hopeless idealists, we're Serious."

      I predict that, ultimately, this election's results will be like all of the others. But if the LP does make gains in the final tally, at this point, it will only be with Johnson.

      1. mfckr   9 years ago

        I predict that, ultimately, this election's results will be like all of the others. But if the LP does make gains in the final tally, at this point, it will only be with Johnson.

        Lol. Atrociously out of touch rationalizations like this help me better understand now exactly why the LP never gets anywhere.

        1. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

          Out of touch with whom? Who is it the LP is supposed to be targeting, and why is McAfee the better choice? Because he's crazy and excites libertarians? I thought that's the kind of irrelevancy and self-sabotage that we're always joking about.

          McAfee says arty-lefty types will go for him. I find that ridiculously out of touch, and a much narrower scope of people than what Johnson is aiming for.

          Gore and Kerry both lost their elections, but they still each got 50 million people to vote for them. "He's boring!" is not a death sentence, and in this particular election, it could be novel. Or not. But I don't know how a second crazy person, who's not offering protection, is somehow going to be more popular.

          1. Euphemisandry   9 years ago

            You're wasting your time. This mfckr douchebag is a single-issue poster. I'm guessing he was a Cruz fan a month ago.

            1. mfckr   9 years ago

              Ew, never.

    4. Eric Bana   9 years ago

      Complete agree with Fd'A.

  33. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

    Prediction: if McAfee gets the nod, all of the Reason staff votes for Hillary, except Root and Doherty.

    1. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

      Most of them are going to vote for her anyway, regardless of what they tell you.

    2. SIV   9 years ago

      KM-W won't, neither will Sullum or Walker.

  34. Knarf Yenrab!   9 years ago

    I liked McAfee much less before he provided the world with one of the great shorting opportunities of 2016.

  35. The Immaculate Trouser   9 years ago

    Dude's crazy and narcissistic as hell, but in a highly entertaining way. He won't win, but I'd bet he'd win more votes than the dynamic duo of Pasty White Republican Governors of the 90s.

  36. Cloudbuster   9 years ago

    You have goofballs like this guy on the Libertarian debate stage, and wonder why nobody takes the Libertarian Party seriously?

    1. SIV   9 years ago

      Yet some people want the LP to nominate GayJay again.

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  51. Brochettaward   9 years ago

    Gary Johnson is a Michael Hihn style Nolan chart libertarian. The more delusional members of the commentariat need to think about that.

  52. Citizen X   9 years ago

    You've already got my vote for president. FEEL THE HIHNSANITY/

  53. mfckr   9 years ago

    Incoming Hihn copypasta about the Nolan chart thing and how it proves the majority of Americans are actually crypto-Libertarians but don't know it yet.

  54. bacon-magic   9 years ago

    (giggles)

  55. DOOMco   9 years ago

    Look, Nazi cake and banning religious attire is perfectly libertarian, you dolt.

  56. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Listening to that song caused my gender to change.

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