Obama Calls Libya Worst Mistake of Presidency, John Brennan Says CIA Won't Waterboard Even If Ordered, Danny Willett Wins Masters: A.M. Links

• 

  Fox News Sunday

  President Obama said failing to plan for the aftermath of the U.S. intervention in Libya was the worst mistake of his presidency, and that he won't interfere in the Department of Justice probe of Hillary Clinton's e-mails.

• CIA Director John Brennan said the agency would not engage in "harsh" enhanced interrogation techniques like waterboarding even if ordered by a future president.
• Court documents reveal former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was accused of child molestation.
• Hillary Clinton campaign chair John Podesta said she would declassify UFO files if elected president.
• John Kerry visited a memorial near ground zero of the 1945 nuclear strike in Hiroshima.
• Another truce starts in Yemen.
• A goat in California went on a Starbucks run.
• Danny Willett became the second Englishman to win the Masters after Jordan Spieth lost the lead with two tees into the water and a quadruple bogey at the twelfth hole on Sunday afternoon.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

A goat in California went on a Starbucks run.

Hope it wasn't carrying.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hello.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

I'm glad the cop handled it calmly. It could have been a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad situation otherwise.

[commodious spittoon]

Na-a-a-a-a-arows ga-a-a-a-aze*

[UnCivilServant]

Wouldn't that be "N-a-a-a-arows Gra-a-a-aze"?

[gaoxiaen]

Only if men stare at them.

[BigT]

A goat in California went on a Starbucks run.

It was probably one of their Senators.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Wrong kind of nanny state.

[shinokilo]

my best friend's step-aunt makes $64 /hour on the computer . She has been unemployed for nine months but last month her paycheck was $21229 just working on the computer for a few hours. read this article ????????????? Click this link http://goo.gl/JNLxe5

[Bee Tagger]

A goat in California went on a Starbucks run.

The greatest run of all time?

[commodious spittoon]

The worst part: it didn't check with anyone in the office first.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hillary Clinton campaign chair John Podesta said she would declassify UFO files if elected president.

She's got Fox Mulder's vote.

[Steve G]

I believe...the info is already on her server

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

It's just more shameless pandering to illegal aliens.

[Swiss Servator]

*stumbles to feet, begins wild applause*

[Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair]

+1 hand

[Lee G]

She'll email them to everybody.

[Adans smith]

i wonder what does Jack O'Neill have too say about this?

[Bee Tagger]

Hillary Clinton campaign chair John Podesta said she would declassify UFO files if elected president.

It'll be like a game of telephone, she'll email them to one person and then see what the media ends up reporting.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Court documents reveal former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was accused of child molestation.

Did we need the documents at this point?

[Lord Humungus]

Driver charged for buckling up beer instead of children

Police said several children, including a baby less than a year old, were lying on the laps of adults and in foot wells while cartons of beer were piled onto the seats.

A 27-year-old man has been charged with no authority to drive and failure to restrain a child.

Kimberley District Superintendent Allan Adam said he was not surprised by the incident.

"We do have problems up here in the Kimberley," he said.

"It shows some of the attitudes of some of our road users in the way they see their priorities.

[Citizen X]

Australia is the world's Florida.

[Adans smith]

Sounds like Boone county WV.

[Libertarian]

Sounds like the 1960s.

[Citizen X]

West Virginia is the Florida of Appalachia.

The 1960s are the Florida of decades.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Shaken beer syndrome is a real thing.

[Citizen X]

Eugene is the Florida of commenters, but only because his head is shaped like a penis.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That's only how Bok draws it.

[Zeb]

I don't see the problem.

[jester]

Seat belts. Roads. Alcohol. [fuck off]

[Rhywun]

"Now with more emu!"

[BigT]

Seems like he should have been cited for bad taste:

Emu Export is a clean light yellow lager that was first launched in 1954[6] with an alcohol content of 4.9%. The current alcohol volume has been reduced to 4.4%.[7] Colloquial names for the beer include: "the red lead", "flightless bird", "export", "sport", "E squared", "chook's piss", or "red can"

[Bee Tagger]

Danny Willett became the second Englishman to win the Masters after Jordan Spieth lost the lead with two tees

Does this make him, at least, the winner of the wet tees hurt contest?

[Libertarian]

Swiss golfs. Ask him.

[Libertarian]

Go ahead, ASK HIM. I dare you.

[Swiss Servator]

I haven't swung a club in anger (or joy) in years.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

[Swiss Servator]

Oh, and Bee Tagger...

*narrows gaze*

[Old Man With Candy]

I only play Australian Rules golf.

Full contact.

[Swiss Servator]

Hmmm...that might work!

[Adans smith]

I play golf,I watch golf and both are better with beer.

[OneOut]

*looks around...... shrugs*

I guess he's off today ?

*narrows gaze for Swiss*

[Swiss Servator]

I WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATE!

[Lord Humungus]

Iowa deputies find female suspect hiding in an oven

The Guthrie County Sheriff's Office said deputies executed a search warrant March 31 at the Guthrie Center home of Gabrielle Looper, 25, who was wanted on an arrest warrant for a probation violation.

Investigators said Looper initially appeared to not be at home, but their suspicions were raised when they noticed the home had two ovens.

Looper was found hiding in a non-functioning oven that had its bottom cut out in an apparent attempt to turn it into a hiding place.

"I've never seen anything like it," Deputy Kent Gries told KWQC-TV. "Yes, she fit all the way in the oven."

You know who else something, something ovens...

[Slammer]

Hansel and Gretel?

[UnCivilServant]

I'm glad I refreshed, I was about to list them.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hansel?

Gretel?

[Citizen X]

The Gingerbread Man?

[Rich]

Sylvia Plath?

[Lord Humungus]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T0sPOClzJQ

If she lost any virginity she didn't lose it too fast...

[Libertarian]

"their suspicions were raised when they noticed the home had two ovens."

I call bullshit. This type of analytical thinking happens on TV, not in real life with real detectives. The lady made a noise, or fell asleep and started snoring.

[Tonio]

^Yeah, this. There is nothing inherently suspicious about a second oven. Maybe she had a side business baking wedding cakes.

[Medical Physics Guy]

Nobody needs two ovens. And they should use Federal Toothpaste too.

[double ham fisted]

Since she had not paid taxes for such a business nor had licensing from the board of health there is no way the cops would have believed the cake business. Also, hadn't passed the test if she would bake for a gay wedding.

[straffinrun]

"Shhh. She's in the oven. Watch this....Damn, it's non-functioning."

[Swiss Servator]

"If Rocky was hiding in the oven, would I turn the gas on and throw in a lit match"

*boom*

"OK, we'll look for Rocky in the city"

/That's All Folks

[PBR Streetgang]

I LOVE that episode.
"Oh-HO!! He's hidin' in the stove, eh?"

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSNTjX_g9a4

From another episode: 'Lay a egg duck'.

[Old Man With Candy]

Jewish fella, is he?

[BigT]

The LIttle Red Hen?

[EMD]

The Dutch?

[UnCivilServant]

And some Senate Democrats are griping that the GOP doesn't allow them to order enough toilet paper. (NYP)

I know I would never get away with making a "full of shit" joke at my local paper on this. Mostly they're actually whining that they get stuck with the same splinter paper as the rank and file.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Plush double-ply for me but not for thee

[Rich]

Double plush good.

[Adans smith]

I thought socialist didn't believe in toilet paper?

[commodious spittoon]

You won't need toilet paper when the currency tanks, comrade. An end to money, money for the end!

[gaoxiaen]

Only Venezuelans and Muslims.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

same splinter paper as the rank and file.

John Wayne Toilet Paper.

Just like the Duke!

Rough and tough, and don't take shit from no one!

[UnCivilServant]

Doesn't quite fit, because the tensile strength is such that the force required to rotate the roll on the holder is usually enough to cause the paper itself to tear.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That's because they over-perforate the tear lines. The actual squares of paper could be used for final finish sanding on wood-work.

[UnCivilServant]

Actually, I've never seen any tear lines or perforations in what they've stocked here. The paper is just that flimsy.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Oh, that's the other kind.

When you can walk across it with-out leaving a trace, you'll be ready for promotion to the next grade.

[spqr2008]

You get paid at least $175K a year, and don't have enough money to stock your own private bathroom with whatever type you want? That's just pathetic.

[Slammer]

Bernie Sanders

''I don't believe in charities,'' said Mayor Sanders, bringing a shocked silence to a packed hotel banquet room. The Mayor, who is a Socialist, went on to question the ''fundamental concepts on which charities are based'' and contended that government, rather than charity organizations, sho uld take over responsibilit y for social programs.

[Bee Tagger]

''I don't believe in charities,'' said Mayor Sanders, bringing a shocked silence to a packed hotel banquet room. The Mayor, who is a Socialist, went on to question the ''fundamental concepts on which charities are based'

Paul Ryan wishes he could sound this Randian.

[Rich]

The Mayor, who is a Socialist, went on to question the ''fundamental concepts on which charities are based'

So, Bernie is also a solipsist?

[Elspeth Flashman]

Well when I give voluntarily, it's totally different from the gov't taking the money from me before I can give it.

[Jerryskids]

It's a matter of efficiency. With the free market, you have many people giving to many charities trying many solutions to many problems. With the right Top Men instead, you have essentially one charity focused on one solution to one problem. Efficiency!

It's the same idea as more efficiently delivering bread if you had a single bread company - you end the duplication of services if all the farmers use one trucking service to deliver their wheat to one mill and that mill makes one trip to one store to deliver one type of bread. You don't need multiple trucking services delivering multiple types of bread to multiple stores.

Except that theory neglects the reality that there's no incentive for efficiency if there's no competition. Who gives a rat's ass if some customers want rye, if the bread is stale, if the store clerks spit on you, if the store sometimes doesn't have bread on the shelves or charges high prices? Where else can you go for bread?

And that's the reality that Bernie is too damn retarded to recognize. "Efficiency" lies in giving people what they want and not in giving them what you think they should want. Just because you like Arrid roll-on doesn't mean somebody else shouldn't have Ban spray if that's what they prefer you evil bastard.

[Medical Physics Guy]

This is the fashionable prog thinking now as evidenced by crap like this.

Whither all the young progs working in the not for profit sector, if charities were all replaced by the Socialist State?

[Rich]

I posted a link to the charity on Facebook, telling my friends what I was doing

Sheesh, no wonder he thinks it's selfish.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Same useless work, but with a bigger paycheck and union benefits from Uncle Sam?

[Medical Physics Guy]

I wouldn't call the not for profit sector overall useless. Though I suppose I believe all businesses should have similar tax status.

Fundraising for a revenue model doesn't strike me as objectionable in itself, if your revenue model requires a small number of heavy donors.

[commodious spittoon]

You know who else runs a not-for-profit for a small clique of very heavy donors...

[IndyEleven]

Heidi Fleiss?

[gaoxiaen]

Weight Watchers?

[Tonio]

Whither all the young progs working in the not for profit sector, if charities were all replaced by the Socialist State?

Well, they'd become government employees, of course. With higher salaries and benefits. Duh.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

"PeterS378 whoruleswhere
7 Apr 2015 9:20
31 32

You're right. In fact, you have not gone far enough. Charity should be made illegal, punishable by imprisonment, so that the evil of altruism is not allowed to break the iron control of the state over all interaction within human society."

I truly hope and pray this was satire.

[UnCivilServant]

No, it was sarcasm. There is a difference.

[Rhywun]

Look at mister writer here.

[UnCivilServant]

Look at mister writer here.

Buy my books! 😛

[Rhywun]

I will sample one.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

That's the word I was looking for.

[Rhywun]

It's tedious navel-gazing, but at least he's not advocating people to stop giving unlike true progs.

[dan'o en barrel]

I think I was 13 when it occurred to me that everything that every human being has ever done has been for self interest. Altruistic doings are rewarded with the good feeling one gets for helping someone else-- or in his case to alleviate fears in his social instinct by manipulating others into thinking he's a great guy by broadcasting his deed on social media and writing an article about it.

[KB Check Release]

Ah the classic projection I have come to love from libertarians.

You would never do something charitable for someone because the pain/work for you to provide it is less than the net benefit they receive.

In other worlds you only do good deeds in order to feel good about your deed and therefore EVERYONE who does anything charitable for someone else is ONLY motivated by that fuzzy feeling inside.

[Drake]

"I continue to believe that she has not jeopardized America's national security," Obama said... "What I also know, because I handle a lot of classified information, is that there are -- there's classified, and then there's classified," said Obama...

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics.....d=38287490

Saying shit like that is interfering with the investigation. I bet there is a Hillary leak this week.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

That's some top, TOP executive leadership right there.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

It's well-known that CIA and FBI tend to over-classify information, but that's a policy issue and not a legal issue. Classified is classified.

Also, much of the information that the Secretary of State would be dealing with would be classify at inception. Details about Iran or the Norks' nuclear facilities, for instances, are classified, period.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

First there was 'it wasn't rape-rape' and now it's 'it wasn't classified-classified'.

What is this today in the AM links? An evil bonanza?

[jarflax]

It is a rape of our minds that the classification of rapes as rapes is not itself classified as classified.

[jarflax]

It is a rape of our minds that the classification of rapes as rapes is not itself classified as classified.

[Pope Jimbo]

Well, since it really isn't classified then, I expect that they will be releasing all those redacted emails soon.

[Rich]

Yep, it's too bad they've now been "marked classified"; otherwise Hillary could release them herself.

[BigT]

She'll just post the url of the Chinese website where they are posted.

[BigT]

there's classified, and then there's classified

It depends on what the definition of classified is.

Oh, it's classified.

[commodious spittoon]

Wait, the definition of classified is classified?

Did you know the definition of quotidian is ironic?

[gaoxiaen]

Or what the definition of "is" is.

[Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper]

I guess it depends on what your definition of is is...

[gaoxiaen]

Damn your nimble... whatever appendage you use to type.

[Tonio]

Everything for the state. Nothing outside the state. Nothing against the state.

[Monty Crisco]

The reason he doesn't believe in charities is because they are VOLUNTARY. He is all for coercion by government, PERIOD. That which is not mandatory is forbidden.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Well, and the fact that when government handles all charitable functions it gets to pick and choose both who administers the "charity" and who benefits from it.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

And what constitutes "charitable," and the conditions set, and so on. My guess is that most Christian churches are out unless they provide abortions and gay marriage on demand, but favored pet-projects like performance art that no one cares about will be safe.

[gaoxiaen]

+1 Piss Christ

[Monty Crisco]

Yah, that too.

[Free Society]

''I don't believe in charities,''

Charity is only a good thing if you violently seize the wealth you'd give to the poor. Extortion is the essence of altruism or something.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Don't forget the graft. There's tens of thousands of unionized government workers just ready to be created through the co-opting of private charity.

[Ask Me Abt Waste Fraud & Abuse]

Well, yeah. Because in Bernie's world, nobody would be able to afford to give charitable donations.

[Chinny Chin Chin]

I don't care so much about the waste, fraud or abuse, but am very concerned with the &.

I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Fist of Etiquette]

...he won't interfere in the Department of Justice probe of Hillary Clinton's e-mails.

He's got surrogates for that.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

By "won't interfere" I'm assuming he means "but I'll still say in interviews that 'well, there's confidential and then there's CONFIDENTIAL.'"

[WTF]

The interference in the form of a directive not to indict was completed long ago. So yeah, he won't interfere now.

[Rich]

Obama On Clinton's Emails: 'There's Classified, And Then There's Classified'

"There's felonies, and then there's felonies."

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Dammit! I knew I should've hit refresh.

And gotten the quote correct.

[Matrix]

There's rape, and then there's rape.

[Hyperbolical]

There's felonies/classified for important people, and then there's felonies/classified for the little people.

There, that's more plain.

[Lord Humungus]

Abstaining from alcohol for 'dry January' reduces liver damage and blood pressure, study finds

Researchers from University College London monitored more than 100 men and women in their 40s who took part in Alcohol Concern's "dry January" campaign. They found that refraining from a tipple also lowered the subjects' risk of developing liver disease and diabetes.
Read more
Bacon, sausages and other processed meats cause cancer says WHO

According to the study - funded by the Royal Free's hospital and charity and Islington Public Health - liver damage was reduced by 12.5 per cent and resistance to insulin came down by 28 per cent.

The subjects also lost weight after four weeks without alcohol.

Anxiety levels, however...

[Medical Physics Guy]

UK health recommendations are so bizarre. They are so biased towards puritan conclusions. Any health research with a non-puritanical recommendation, the health establishment just ignores.

[Adans smith]

Oliver Cromwell lives on.

[BigT]

Abstaining from alcohol for 'dry January' reduces liver damage and blood pressure increases stress and reduces enjoyment of life, study finds

[gaoxiaen]

Is four weeks possible? I'm up to a half bottle of tequila per day just from reading this shit.

[Libertarian]

"President Obama said failing to plan for the aftermath of the U.S. intervention in Libya was the worst mistake of his presidency"

If only there had been some recent, real-world example that could have warned him of such an aftermath.

[Slammer]

The Ultimate List of Weapons Astronauts Have Carried Into Orbit

[Rich]

Quite interesting.

Yet another reason to stop the space program.

[BigT]

Simple penetrometer

This device was used to give a rough measurement of the firmness or resistance to penetration of lunar soil. No doubt: it could have functioned as a piercing melee weapon too.

Those masturbation euphemisms are getting really obscure.

[straffinrun]

You and your quick hands. Must have more Jergen's than me.

[BigT]

That's Jerkin's.

[Mickey Rat]

Space is no country for old men.

[gaoxiaen]

Stuff it up your crater. Or in your moon.

[straffinrun]

I would love to get my hands on that Simple penetrometer.

[Steve G]

The Great Pussification continues. Just because something can be used as a weapon, does not make it one. This is how these fuckers expand the fear of inanimate objects from guns to knives, machetes, etc so they can start banning them.
*adjusts foil hat*

[Mickey Rat]

That kind of attitude is not going to serve us well when we finally run into the Kzinti.

[thrakkorzog]

"So I guess this was used by Indians to jab it into a white man's skull and kill them."

"Actually, it was used to straighten out arrows."

"But in a pinch I bet you Indians could use it to kill someone."

"Yes, but that's technically true of all tools. I could kill you with a hammer."

[gaoxiaen]

Or a rock.

[Bee Tagger]

CIA Director John Brennan said the agency would not engage in "harsh" enhanced interrogation techniques like waterboarding even if ordered by a future president.

Guantanmellow Bay

[DJF]

How will he stop them? He won't be in that job long if the President does not want him

[Rasilio]

Of course not, they will farm that work out to the intelligence services of client states.

Not sure it matters to the captured individual if it was the CIA electrocuting his testicles or the Saudi intelligence service however

[gaoxiaen]

Just use Johnnie Walker instead of water. Then it's fun.

[Fist of Etiquette]

CIA Director John Brennan said the agency would not engage in "harsh" enhanced interrogation techniques like waterboarding even if ordered by a future president.

As far as you know.

[UnCivilServant]

No, they'd hire a subcontractor who used H-1Bs to do the "Enhanced Interrogation"s.

[WTF]

Rendition.

[Lord Humungus]

Half of British Muslims want gay sex banned, says poll

The survey for Channel 4 found there was a "chasm" between views among the British Muslim community and mainstream opinion in this country.

It found 52 per cent of Muslims said homosexuality should not be legal in Britain.

Of more than 1,000 British Muslims polled by ICM, 39 per cent agreed "wives should always obey their husbands", and 31 per cent said it was acceptable for a man to have more than one wife.

[straffinrun]

Bet it split evenly between tops and bottoms.

[Medical Physics Guy]

Okay, but to be fair, this study also suggested that only 4 percent of British Muslims were sympathetic to terror.

How many Americans wanted gay sex banned 50 years ago.

While of course I disagree, it's not the most unheard of neanderthal view.

I thought overall the survey was more good news than bad.

[Free Society]

Okay, but to be fair, this study also suggested that only 4 percent of British Muslims were sympathetic to terror.

That seems suspiciously low. There's just too much data out there showing high levels of support for terrorism, extremism et cetera, even in British Muslim populations in particular.

20% of British Muslims sympathize with 7/7 bombers
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/new.....in-UK.html

Following Nov. 2015 attacks in Paris, 1 in 4 young Muslims in Britain (and 1 in 5 overall) said they sympathize with those who fight for ISIS.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/ho.....-poll.html

1.5 Million British Muslims support the Islamic State, about half the total population.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Yeh. That's not good.

[commodious spittoon]

To be fair, I think most Americans sympathize with foreign terrorists. We're awfully sorry we're going to have to bomb them out of existence.

[Rhywun]

Why did I read this as "British Museums"?

[Free Society]

For a minute there you forgot how fucked they are.

[Rasilio]

Honestly I'd say that was a pretty positive survey result as it shows that Brit Muslims are significantly less barbaric than their brethren back home

[gaoxiaen]

The other 48% said it should be mandatory.

[Lord Humungus]

Analysis: Iran nuclear deal puts US in bind amid criticism

The Obama administration is in a bind. Between Iran and a hard place.

As it seeks to implement, preserve and strengthen the landmark nuclear deal it negotiated with Iran, the administration is being buffeted by criticism from all sides: Iran, Europe, Asia, the Middle East, not to mention members of Congress, including some who supported the agreement.

Eager that a successful deal and a new era in the U.S.-Iran relationship be part of President Barack Obama's legacy, his administration finds itself encouraging foreign trade with Iran even as it forbids most American commerce with the Islamic Republic. Those efforts are complicated by the fact that the United States continues to condemn and try to punish Iranian actions in non-nuclear arenas such as Tehran's support of terrorist groups and belligerence toward Israel.

[BigT]

Virtue signalling by way of foreign policy creates a shitstorm? Very surprising, and could not have been envisioned. No, not at all.

[John]

It is as it always is all about Obama. If he can keep Iran from blowing up until he leaves office, then he can tell himself and the world he made "peace" with Iran and the resulting disaster was his successor's fault. My God is he a narcissist.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Nevermind that Iranian Parliament (or whatever it's called) unilaterally changed the terms of the deal before agreeing to it, or that Iran is already openly defying the deal, testing ballistic missiles, and still calling for "Death to America." It's about the legacy, damn it! We have a deal! A historic deal. Just look at how historic it is!

[BigT]

Iranian Parliament (or whatever it's called) unilaterally changed the terms of the deal before agreeing to it, or that Iran is already openly defying the deal, testing ballistic missiles, and still calling for "Death to America.

Which, of course, we are treated to every night on the news... NOT.

But if a Heffalump gets elected, this will become front page news. Just like the crises of poverty, violence, the VA, unemployment, crumbling infrastructure, police violence, racism, racism, racism, and gender inequality.

[Lord Humungus]

This Game Is Forcing Some Players to Be Women, And They're Freaking Out

It's been several months since we wrote about how Steam survival hit Rust would soon be implementing a feature that randomly (and permanently) makes your character a man or a woman, and now that feature is here. Players have generally loved the way the game randomizes features for your permanent character like skin color, limb length, and (yes) penis size, but that was all back when every player avatar in the game was a male. With the latest update, though, everyone got a new model, and for some players, the possibility of playing as a woman is a little too much to bear. Take a moment to bask in the agony on Steam and Reddit:

[Lee G]

"We understand this is a sore subject for a lot of people. We understand that you may now be a gender that you don't identify with in real-life. We understand this causes you distress and makes you not want to play the game anymore," they said. "Technically nothing has changed, since half the population was already living with those feelings. The only difference is that whether you feel like this is now decided by your SteamID instead of your real life gender."

I don't know who's more dull here, the developers or the players.

[SugarFree]

"Technically nothing has changed, since half the population was already living with those feelings. The only difference is that whether you feel like this is now decided by your SteamID instead of your real life gender."

So 50% of all people are transgendered? OK. Sure.

[Hamster of Doom]

I thought we already figured out that messagefic was boring. We have to learn this lesson all over again with video games now?

[SugarFree]

I'm not sure we ever really learned the message about messagefic. How many "the immigrant experience in America" novels still come out every year?

[commodious spittoon]

*sighs*

*googles messagefic*

*still has a confuse*

[SugarFree]

Novels with a political message, art bent to the purpose of propaganda.

[commodious spittoon]

Oh, you mean future Hugo winners.

[Mickey Rat]

Identified With a pseudo- Newspeak sounding word.

[Jerryskids]

I think this gets to the heart of the problem - claiming that "half the population" with reference to the Steam population already lives with an avatar gender issue when the avatars were all male assumes or pretends to assume half of Steam players are female. I don't know anything about the Steam population but I'll bet a large piece of my anatomy it ain't half female. Assuming half of Steam players are female is some profound ignorance, pretending that it's true is just plain delusional.

Besides which, if it were half female, a random male/female avatar assignment would still result in half the population having an avatar gender issue - half of the 50% of the population that are males would have female avatars and half the 50% of the population that are females would have male avatars, making 50% of the population as a whole having a wrong-gendered avatar.

[gaoxiaen]

I'm just CIS-horny. I guess that's a little weird nowadays.

[Rhywun]

Let me see if I understand... there is this game with a bunch of naked dudes running around and the complaint is they added females and some lamerz might have to play one?

And someone in that post claims "95% of Steam users are male." That seems ridiculously off.

[commodious spittoon]

If I want to play a sandbox game with tree punching and ambiguous player avatars I'll play Minecraft LIKE GOD INTENDED.

[John]

Yeah. It has been a while since I cruised internet chatrooms. But I did when I was single and back then at least about half of the "women" in those places were men who got off by pretending to be slutty women. I find it hard to believe that many of these guys are that upset about playing women.

In fact, I bet the vast majority of the female characters in the game now are really men. And they are now pissed that they have to play women? Doubtful.

[Rhywun]

I think Irish is right downthread and Vice is just blowing it out of proportion.

[Hamster of Doom]

67% of statistics are made up on the spot. This is known.

[UnCivilServant]

The purpose of video games is to get away from the limitations of the real world.

I strongly suspect they've been hearing positive answers from a vocal minority, while the bulk of the player base just put up with the nonsense until it got too much.

Also a random sex change imposed on established characters from on high is in of itself galling.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

A quote from one of the supporters of the forced gender assignments: "Character customization would lead to servers full of tiny black people because they are hard to see at night."

Well then.

[Lee G]

Damn pygmies and their low-light survival privilege.

[UnCivilServant]

A quote from one of the supporters of the forced gender assignments: "Character customization would lead to servers full of tiny black people because they are hard to see at night."

OR, mor likely, it would lead to in-game avatars that people have a greater investment in than three clicks of "randomize features".

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Smile so I can see you?

/is what Irish would say.

[Rhywun]

I almost just sprayed coffee.

[R C Dean]

Character customization would lead to servers full of tiny black people

Somebody is a little confused about what game characters are and how servers work, methinks.

[Juvenile Bluster]

I once played D&D with a troll DM who introduced cursed items that would change your character's gender.

He was weird.

[John]

Is he now a she? Maybe he was projecting his own fantasies on the players? Just a thought.

[Rasilio]

Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity, your DM didn't introduce them they've been around since the very first boxed sets were released

[Rhywun]

I could use a girdle of masculinity. Better than giving up potatoes and pasta.

[Pope Jimbo]

Your dyslexic ass will just get bigger and bigger when you misread "griddle of masculinity" and end up cooking stacks and stacks of pancakes.

[commodious spittoon]

I once brought home fake maple syrup for the girlfriend. Once.

[R C Dean]

OK, it doesn't get much more abstract than this.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

I suspect a very small number of vocal weirdos care about this and VICE is giving them more credit than they deserve because OMG, SEXISM.

Sort of like how everyone's convinced college students are insane commies because of a small and psychotic minority making themselves heard on campuses where most people just want to get laid.

[R C Dean]

Steam survival hit Rust would soon be implementing a feature that randomly (and permanently) makes your character a man or a woman, and now that feature is here.

What kind of idiot intentionally cripples their character generation/customization feature this way?

Oh, a socially just idiot. Never mind.

[ant1sthenes]

Doubtful, since it's in line with their less PC but no less random male-only version.

[Rich]

Obama said failing to plan for the aftermath of the U.S. intervention in Libya was the worst mistake of his presidency

so far.

[BigT]

I think Obamacare is worse. We'll get over Libya in a few years, but Oshitfire may be with us for generations.

[Rich]

It only matters what O says. The only mistake of Democratcare was the website start up, which was quickly corrected.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Or will be corrected shortly...

Or will be the next guys fault.

[straffinrun]

He hasn't blamed Putin for not stopping him?

[Hamster of Doom]

Hillary Clinton campaign chair John Podesta said she would declassify UFO files if elected president.

Probably we can take this as confirmation there's nothing interesting in them.

My husband will be so disappointed.

[Bee Tagger]

That sounds like the perfect reaction to have if you wanted to throw people off the scent of being an alien.

[WTF]

It would explain Hillary's pathetic attempts to act human.

[commodious spittoon]

She's not an alien. She was built in a facility in Palo Alto. By aliens.

[Tonio]

Probably we can take this as confirmation there's nothing interesting in them.

^This.

[Jerryskids]

I thought we had already decided that the ubiquity of smart phones coupled with the lack of Youtube videos is pretty good evidence that things like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster and UFOs don't exist.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Bigfoot just wised up

[thrakkorzog]

I thought we all agreed that Bigfoot is blurry. There's a big blurry out of fucus monster roaming around the countryside.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

STEVE SMITH TOO FAST TO BE CAUGHT BY MERE CAMERA PHONE!

[bacon-magic]

CAMERA PHONE IS AFTER-RAPE SNACK.

[Robert]

How could UFOs not exist? That'd mean everything flying (or appearing to be so) has been identified.

[Chinny Chin Chin]

Hillary understands the difference between classified and "classified".

[Lord Humungus]

Navy officer accused of passing secrets to China faces espionage and prostitution charges

The Navy, which has not identified Lin by name, said the officer is assigned to the headquarters for the Patrol and Reconnaissance Group, which oversees maritime patrol aircraft such as the P-8A Poseidon and P-3C Orion spyplanes and the MQ-4C Triton surveillance drone.

A heavily redacted charge sheet released by the Navy states that the officer faces two specifications of espionage and three specifications of attempted espionage. He is accused of communicating secret information "with intent or reason to believe it would be used to the advantage of a foreign nation," hiring a prostitute for sex, committing adultery by having sex with a woman who was not his wife, not disclosing foreign travel to the U.S. government as required, and lying about it after the fact.

[John]

Who would have thought assigning an officer of Chinese origin to a position that gave him access to military secrets the Chinese would like to know would turn out badly? Its just bad luck.

[Free Society]

*bad ruck.

[Steve G]

Yeah, it's like we didn't learn anything after Los Alamos. ... And to think my clearance gets more scrutiny from a late bill, than, I dunno, being Chinese.

[commodious spittoon]

You mean posting here doesn't keep you on a watchlist?

[gaoxiaen]

Double secret probation.

[John]

President Obama said failing to plan for the aftermath of the U.S. intervention in Libya was the worst mistake of his presidency, and that he won't interfere in the Department of Justice probe of Hillary Clinton's e-mails.

So the guy who ran for President in 2008 excoriating Bush for not having a plan for the day after in Iraq somehow didn't realize he would need one for Libya?

First, Bush did have a day after plan. It wasn't that he didn't have a plan it was that the plan was based on unrealistic assumptions. Obama in contrast, even though he had the experience in Iraq as a teacher, by his own admission didn't even know he needed a plan.

The ugly truth that no one in the media will ever admit is that Obama not only is not very smart, he completely lacks the intellectual imagination to learn or get better. Obama can't even learn the hard way apparently.

[Drake]

Neither can his former Secretary of State.

[John]

No she really can't. Her husband could. Bill at least had a feral survival instinct and could be counted on doing the right thing once in a while even if it was for the wrong reasons. Hillary has in 30+ years of public life shown no such ability.

[tarran]

. It wasn't that he didn't have a plan it was that the plan was based on unrealistic assumptions.

The assumptions weren't unrealistic so much as the product of falling for a con. My dad met Ahmed Chalabi personally back in the late 90's, and was adamant the man was a huge fraud. Chalabi was peddling some business venture. My dad, being from a neighboring country, recognized quickly that the guy was full of shit. The Americans with my dad, who had not been born in the region, fell for his bullshit, because the bullshit was finely calibrated to sucker them in.

Because of my dad's vehement objections, his company didn't pursue the scheme Chalabi was peddling; and Chalabi moved on to telling th eneocons what they wanted to hear about Iraqi's welcoming American conquest with open arms.

This all came out during a family get together on the eve of the Iraq war when my dad predicted it would end in ashes.

[Lee G]

Chalabi was just telling the neocons what they wanted to hear. The most successful evangelists are the ones who tune their sermons to the desires of their congregants.

[Drake]

Who sold the idiots on the idea of nation-building instead of just raiding Afghanistan? That was some deep stupidity - I'm sure it involved a lot of PowerPoint slides.

[John]

Yes. And that is not the result of Bush so much as the entire culture of our foreign policy and defense establishments. They think anyone who looks and talks like them must be an important person. So they meet some well dressed and well spoken expat like Chalabi and will happily believe whatever line of bullshit the guy throws them. They can't understand that just because someone seems like they are a member of the club so to speak doesn't mean they are in any way important or anything but a con man.

Bush's mistake in Iraq was believing that Chalabi was anything but a crook and that Iraq was somehow going to stay together allowing Bush to kick out Saddam and just replace the central government. Ah no, Iraq was horribly broken and as soon as it was no longer under the threat of Saddam, the entire civic structure outside the Kurdish areas collapsed like a house of cards. The people looted and burned almost government building and anyone associated with the government ran for their lives. Chalabi convinced the idiots in the Bush Administration and at State that invading Iraq would be like invading America. If an army took over Washington and shot the President, the local government in a place like Houston or Atlanta would be unaffected. Ah, no, it didn't work like that.

[BigT]

the bullshit was finely calibrated to sucker them in.

"Hey, dude, we've got this bridge ..."

Govt employees pony up other people's money rather easily.

[UnCivilServant]

Perhaps another example, governments actually do buy bridges from time to time.

[Akira]

"The ugly truth that no one in the media will ever admit is that Obama not only is not very smart, he completely lacks the intellectual imagination to learn or get better. Obama can't even learn the hard way apparently."

You know, sometimes I agree with you. But other times, I can't help but think that he's a very smart, calculating man who knows exactly how his policies will fail, what his critics will say, and how to craft a response that makes him look like the hero and them like the idiots, all for the glorification of his ego. My opinion is always swinging like pendulum between those two possibilities.

[Lord Humungus]

Kepler spacecraft in trouble, 75 million miles from Earth

The Kepler spacecraft ? initially launched to find other habitable planets across the universe ? has kicked into an emergency mode more than 75 million miles away in deep space, prompting efforts on Earth to recalibrate the unmanned observatory.

"The mission has declared a spacecraft emergency, which provides priority access to ground-based communications at the agency's Deep Space Network," according to a statement issued by NASA overnight.

Mission operations engineers were expecting a routine contact with the $600 million spacecraft on April 7 when it was determined that Kepler had moved into an emergency mode, which means the spacecraft is operating minimally while fuel intensive.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Ugh. This is really going to set back my efforts to establish an off-world Libertopia.

[The Last American Hero]

75 million miles? It must still be under dealer warranty.

[UnCivilServant]

Just return it to the dealership and we'll repair any defect found.

[commodious spittoon]

+some fine print

[Lord Humungus]

The Black Flag in the Balkans: The Islamic State Has Spread to Bosnia

The Islamic State (IS) has settled into a small, unstable European country that has long played host to jihadists: Bosnia and Herzegovina.

The German magazine Der Spiegel recently reported that residents of some tiny, remote villages in the country's mountainous north obey Sharia law and fly the militant group's black flag. The villages serve as "safe houses" for radicals who have helped as many as 300 Bosnians join IS in Iraq and Syria ? accounting for one of the highest proportions of jihadists from Europe, the magazine wrote.

Additionally, the Bosnian government discovered that Bosnian weapons were used in the IS-inspired attack on the offices of the French magazine Charlie Hebdo attacks, and ex-Yugoslav-manufactured weapons were used in the Bataclan music hall massacre in Paris, Der Spiegel reported.

We're gonna have a TV Party tonight! Alright!

[John]

The West is never going to stop this without resorting to some pretty brutal measures. The longer they take to realize that, the more brutal the measures will end up being.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

If they're ON European soil it's ludicrous to believe regular law enforcement will be able to combat this.

[ant1sthenes]

I bet the Serbs have some ideas for how to combat this.

[Rhywun]

The Islamic State (IS) has settled into a small, unstable European country that has long played host to jihadists

It's Belgium, right? Can't be France, Germany, or Sweden.

[gaoxiaen]

Kill 'em all and let the Flying Spaghetti Monster sort 'em out.

[CatoTheChipper]

At the outset of US involvement in in the Balkan war, there were those who said nothing good would come from it. Many of them were libertarians.

Looks like, once again, belligerent US foreign policy is reaping the whirlwind.

[John]

When you look at what it did to our relationship with Russia, it is likely the biggest strategic blunder since Vietnam. Much bigger and worse than Iraq. And it was also a blatantly illegal and pointless war.

[WTF]

John Kerry visited a memorial near ground zero of the 1945 nuclear strike in Hiroshima.

When will he be visiting Dresden?

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

The bombs dropped in Japan must've had collapsible stocks, pistol grips and were painted black. That makes their use in the wanton killing of civilians totally more atrocious.

[UnCivilServant]

You forgot the shoulder thing that went up.

[OneOut]

Uuuhh.

I think that might be the collapsible stocks.

[UnCivilServant]

You missed the source of the meme. It's based on a clueless comment by a politican seeking to ban guns. It'll crop up repeatedly around here.

[Adans smith]

Or the Warsaw ghetto?

[Slammer]

On the anniversary of the Bataan Death March. Asshole.

[BigT]

Or Gitmo???

To announce the closing as promised 17-Nov-08.

[Rich]

Mentally ill felon lied on sperm bank website and helped create 36 children

On paper, James Christian Aggeles seemed like a dream sperm donor: An attractive, accomplished Ph.D. candidate in fine health and with a high IQ.

But in the vial, ?.

[Lee G]

He's a smooth criminal

[straffinrun]

Old fashioned here, but a "dream sperm donor" would be called "Dad" not James.

[straffinrun]

Or Mom.

[Lord Humungus]

Denver Post: Republicans made big mistake in abandoning presidential tally

Meanwhile, local airwaves have been featuring ads on behalf of Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, since the Democrats are still holding a traditional caucus at which participants get to signal their support for a candidate. It's known as democracy. The Colorado Republican executive committee needs to reacquaint itself with the concept.

GOP leaders have never provided a satisfactory reason for forgoing a presidential preference poll, although party chairman Steve House suggested on radio at one point that too many Republicans would otherwise flock to their local caucus.

Imagine that: party officials fearing that an interesting race might propel thousands of additional citizens to participate. But of course that might dilute the influence of elites and insiders. You can see why that could upset the faint-hearted.

[BigT]

Stupid party still stupid. Water still wet. Sun still hot. News at 11.

[John]

Step one - totally screw 30% or more of your supporters ensuring they won't vote for your nominee in November
Step two - profit!!

They don't call them the stupid party for nothing.

[straffinrun]

GOP 2016 We're doing our best to make Trump the best choice!

[John]

Someone needs to explain to them that they are not the Libertarian Party. They are not some niche protest party whose purpose is to be some kind of ideologically pure conscience of the political process. They are supposed to be a national party, as in a party that wins elections and appeals to a broad base of voters not just a small niche who believe in a strict set of ideals.

I really think they have smelled each other's farts so much they have convinced themselves that the majority of the country is what they define as "conservative" and the only reason they have lost the last two elections is because they just were not unreasonable enough.

[straffinrun]

Well, I have seen this floating around.

[John]

That just shows how stupid they are. First, Reagan wasn't what they remember him. Reagan tolerated the SOCONs but he wasn't a SOCON himself and never ran on being a SOCON. He didn't run on abortion and social issues. He ran on economic freedom and standing up to the communists and restoring pride in the country. Second, Reagan was some NEOCON nation builder. He was happy to help people fight for their freedom but he didn't send US forces to do it for them. If today's conservatives had been around back then, they would have wanted to invade Nicaragua and replace the government with a "western democracy" rather than just send arms to the people living there who wanted to fight the communists.

Reagan also was a great compromise. He compromised on the 86 tax reform. He agreed to undo a decent amount of his tax cuts after the Republicans lost big in the 82 midterms. And he agreed to put tariffs on Japanese imports.

Lastly and most importantly, Reagan was a nice guy that the country liked and had a way of making even the people who didn't vote for him feel like he was their President. You really have to be a delusional moron to think Ted Cruz with his "Jesus wants you to vote for me" act and his record of pissing off everyone in the Senate is some kind of air to Reagan.

[Chinny Chin Chin]

He was happy to help people fight for their freedom but he didn't send US forces to do it for them.

What was Grenada? Chopped liver?

[John]

Yes. It was about like knocking over a taco stand with an aircraft carrier. It was a morning live fire exercise.

[Chinny Chin Chin]

Tell that to Sgt. Highway.

[Suthenboy]

Cuba invaded Grenada and American citizens there were in great danger. Sending the US military was a legitimate response to that situation.

[Lord Humungus]

I see a very possible scenario of Cruz getting the nomination, or even *gah* Paul Ryan, through some perceived behind-the-scenes trickery at the convention. That will fracture the party - at least this election cycle - but will, more importantly, let the party hacks keep their jobs and influence.

And if it is NotTrump vs. Hillary, and the Republican candidate loses, then the Trump supporters will claim their guy could have won (even if he couldn't).

[John]

I keep saying that they don't really care if they win. Life for the party hacks, conservative activists and hack journalists has been pretty great under Obama and would continue to be so with a Hillary Administration. Sure, they would like to win. But I think they would rather lose than win on anything but their own terms.

[commodious spittoon]

What percentage of the remaining 70% is going to hold their nose for trump? 3/4, 4/5? That's still 15-20% of GOP voters sitting it out. No way Trump enjoys enough crossover support to make up his deficit. You may as well lose with a serious candidate than blow out your party with this toxic dumpsterfire.

[commodious spittoon]

What percentage of the remaining 70% is going to hold their its

[Not a Libertarian]

Not being a Colorado GOP voter, I cannot say if the way that state party has chosen to select its delegates has truly unsettled voters.

The CO GOP could have the delegates walk to the middle of a tight-rope positioned two and a half feet above the ground, and I would care as much.

And I also conclude that in reality the Denver Post would care as much and this editorial is a bit of concern trolling.

[Jerryskids]

It's known as democracy. The Colorado Republican executive committee needs to reacquaint itself with the concept.

It's concern trolling when you're literally suggesting republicans have a problem because they're not democrats. It's also pretty astonishingly ignorant when you seem to have no idea that our country is a republic rather than a democracy or that it was specifically set up to be so or why it was set up that way.

I really don't see what the problem is with the GOP leadership deciding the framework of the GOP rather than leaving it up to the general membership by a popular vote. It's how representation works - you don't elect your representatives based on how you think they should vote on a particular bill or issue, you elect them on the assumption that they're going to know better than you what's actually in a particular bill and what it means for a particular issue.

When you go to the doctor because you've got a sharp pain in your ear, would you feel better if your doctor took a poll of the patients in the waiting room as to what the problem might be and how to treat it? No, you trust that your doctor knows more than you do because it's his job to know more than you do. What kind of idiot thinks his opinion matters just as much as the people whose freaking job it is to develop fully-informed opinions?

[John]

You are right as far as it goes. It is the leadership's power to make the rules. And there is nothing necessarily wrong with them following those rules to take the power to pick the nominee out of the voters' hands if that is what they want. Nothing says the party has to be a democracy and judging from the rules it is not and never was.

That is all well and good except that the point of having a political party in the first place is to win elections. If the party leadership does something that alienates large numbers of voters, that is stupid and counter productive even if it is within the rules and within their power. What is the point of keeping Trump from getting the nomination if you have to ruin your chances at winning in November to do so?

[Jerryskids]

That is all well and good except that the point of having a political party in the first place is to win elections.

I take it you're not familiar with the Libertarian Party.

It's possible to have a party for the express purpose of advocating for a certain set of principles (or even for advocating for the principle of having principles) that you believe to be Right and True and Good regardless of whether or not any sizeable portion of the electorate shares your opinion. Sort of the "one man armed with the truth constitutes a majority" kind of thing. If you have to compromise your principles to get a majority of the votes then they're not really principles, are they? As I've said before, if the GOP were only interested in winning elections they should have nominated Obama in 2012 since that's who the majority of voters supported.

[John]

If you are unwilling to compromise your principles to some degree, you need to get out of politics and form a religion. Compromise is inherent in politics. The idea that you can participate in politics in any meaningful way without ever being willing to compromise your principles is the kind of bilious horse dung that is believed by undergraduates.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Imagine that: party officials fearing that an interesting race might propel thousands of additional citizens to participate. But of course that might dilute the influence of elites and insiders. You can see why that could upset the faint-hearted.

They should be more like the Democrats, and hold elections that are essentially meaningless because party-appointed super-delegates make the decisions.

[dan'o en barrel]

Tough talk from the party who's superdelegates are voting 25 to 1 in favor of HC

[dan'o en barrel]

^refresh fail after leaving comments open for an hour. **hangs head in shame**

[CatoTheChipper]

And the same party whose establishment candidate improbably won 6 out of 6 coin tosses in the Iowa caucuses.

[OneOut]

Why is that improbable ?

The coin doesn't remember what it landed on the last time it was flipped .

600 out of 800 would be improbable

[kbolino]

Winning 6 out of 6 coin tosses has < 2% probability

It is improbable, but it's also not what happened.

[kbolino]

She won 6 out of 9 coin tosses, an outcome with a very plausible 16% likelihood of occurring.

[kbolino]

Moreover, the tail probability (winning at least 6 out of 9 coin tosses) is 25%

[Rhywun]

Meanwhile the Democrats have built-in establishment lock-in with their superdelegates. Maybe they need to reacquaint themselves with the concept of democracy.

[Rhywun]

Or what Derp said.

[Mickey Rat]

How many superdelegates does Colorado send to the Democrat convention?

[BigT]

Even body cameras aren't the whole story. NYT article shows how they can be misleading.

I posted this in an earlier thread, but it is a reminder that the camera is only one piece of evidence that must be very carefully examined.

[Libertarian]

"President Obama said failing to plan for the aftermath of the U.S. intervention in Libya was the worst mistake of his presidency"

I just cannot -- CANNOT! -- wait until Hillary is asked about this.

[Rich]

"As I have said before about this, shall we say *ancient*, false scandal -- WDATPDIM?"

[Jerryskids]

WDATPDIM should be thrown in her face at every conceivable opportunity. It was her job to prevent problems from cropping up and her job to address problems when they did pop up. She not only didn't know what caused the problem she was supposed to be dealing with, she literally said it didn't matter what caused the problem. What the hell kind of problem-fixer have you got that isn't the least bit interested in what caused the problem he's supposed to be fixing? When a fuse blows or a breaker trips in your house it behooves you to know what caused the fuse to blow or the breaker to trip and to address that problem because those sorts of problems tend to lead to your house burning down, possibly with you inside it.

[commodious spittoon]

Much like Pelosi paid for "We have to pass it to see what is in it," right?

[R C Dean]

WDATPDIM should be thrown in her face at every conceivable opportunity.

The fact that Cruz and Trump aren't meme-ing the shit out of this just baffles me.

Every time they get a question about something in their past, they should just answer WDATPDIM. Let the reporter have a follow up, which will probably go something like this:

"Mr. Trump, what say you to claims that you made your girlfriend get an abortion?"

"WDATPDIM."

"Mr. Trump, that doesn't answer my question. Do you have any response to these allegations?"

"Eh, if it was a good enough answer for Hillary when she was being asked about an ambassador getting killed in Libya, its a good enough answer for me."

[Lord Humungus]

Man Breaks Into D.C. Five Guys To Make Himself Burgers

D.C. police are asking for the public's help with identifying a man who broke into a Five Guys last month in order to make himself some burgers.

"A suspect followed a delivery man into the restaurant and waited until the delivery man left," the department wrote in a news release. "He then rummaged through the establishment, cooked food, and stole bottled water before leaving the restaurant."

[Citizen X]

Can't say i blame him. Five Guys burgers are delicious.

[Akira]

So, what you're saying is that you like Five Guys inside of you?

[Slammer]

I don't like their fries. Too wet. I like my fries crunchy.

[Rhywun]

Sometimes they get them right and they're good when they do. But yeah I don't them wet either.

[Hamster of Doom]

Wait, wait, what? How did the delivery driver have the keys? That isn't how it works.

[commodious spittoon]

That's not how any of this works!

[Old Man With Candy]

Danny Willett became the second Englishman to win the Masters after Jordan Spieth lost the lead with two tees into the water and a quadruple bogey at the twelfth hole on Sunday afternoon.

Hey, guys, over here! Paint drying!

[UnCivilServant]

That reminds me, I need to pick a color to repaint the garish bedrooms in my new house.

[Rich]

Master's Jacket Green, perhaps?

[UnCivilServant]

Too dark. That side of the building doesn't get sunlight. I need something on the lighter end of the spectrum.

[Swiss Servator]

"Reason Orange"

[Citizen X]

"Irish White"

[commodious spittoon]

Like a little slice of Appalachia.

/ace

[Jerryskids]

"Trump Orange" - the beauty of it is that it first appears to be red but if you look closer it's actually blue but then again every time you look at it it appears to be some other color entirely. It's like painting a room with a rainbow that allows anybody to see whatever color they want to see.

[R C Dean]

So I guess the new Sherwin Williams color "Black, Like a Libertarian's Heart" is out, then?

[Lord Humungus]

as soon as my boss starts talking about golf, the fake smile is pasted on my face and I start to zone out. "Please let it be over," my mind screams like a college girl at a frat party.

[Akira]

as soon as my boss starts talking about golf, the fake smile is pasted on my face and I start to zone out. "Please let it be over," my mind screams like a college girl at a frat party.

[Slammer]

"Hey, guys, over here! Paint drying!"

Someone's watching soccer?

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

(puts up fishy dukes for exchange of fisticuffs with Slammer)

[Old Man With Candy]

Frankly, I can't tell the difference except that golfers don't clutch their knee and roll on the ground.

[Hamster of Doom]

Kicking a ball and pretending to be hurt.

[Hamster of Doom]

Kicking a ball and pretending to be hurt.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Surrounded by sporting philistines!

(swims away to watch 2012 Champions League final for 1,074th time)

[Juvenile Bluster]

I've watched the 2005 final approximately 80,000 times. I need to watch it again.

[UnCivilServant]

Still can't stay awake to the end?

[SugarFree]

The difference is that legions of people don't get mega-butthurt when you call golf boring.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

(bows up to SF...ponders...concedes the point)

[Not a Libertarian]

Because I am certain that Mr SugarFree is without any anti-gay feelings, I don't think it confrontational to ask:

Is "mega-butthurt" a problematic phase?

[SugarFree]

"Butt hurt" doesn't really connote a physical pain, as, from say, anal intercourse, but more a whiny and childish response to a perceived personal slight or insult. Butt hurt is an emotional response open to all.

[commodious spittoon]

That's why faggot is a perfectly reasonable insult.

/C.K.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Can I still be butt-hurt from over-seasoning my daughter's chili?

There is some emotional response when I'm forced to dab, instead of wipe.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Golfers are the worst.

[Lord Humungus]

Privacy concerns? FBI director Comey trolled online for taping over laptop cam

It turns out that FBI director James Comey covers his laptop camera with tape, just like any NSA-fearing citizen should - an admission that has generated hilarity on social media.

The FBI chief confessed to keeping his camera covered at a Kenyon College, Ohio speech on encryption and privacy on Wednesday.

Comey revealed that he had learned of the novel camera blocking trick from the news. "I saw somebody smarter than I am had a piece of tape over their camera," he said, NPR reports.

After Comey admitted that he too is concerned about privacy, the internet was quick to call him out on his double standards.

[BigT]

"I saw somebody smarter than I am i. e. a 6-yr old,had a piece of tape over their camera," he said,

[SRVolunteer]

I have a fuzzy dice sticker from Steak & Shake over my laptop cam.

It's amazing to me that this is such a big concern and no one builds a laptop with a physical lens cover.

Even more amazing is that EVERYONE knows about covering your laptop camera, but no one ever seems to talk about covering your cell phone camera(s). I would pay extra for a cell phone (or case!) with a physical lens cover.

/market failure

[Rhywun]

*stupid question coming up*

Isn't it obvious when the camera is in use? Like on my iMac there is a red light next to the camera when it's running. Or can that be disabled?

[Mr Drew]

In theory, the red light comes on but I can imagine a simple hack that would cause the light to not come on.

The Rand Paul site used to sell a laptop camera slide cover and a cell phone case with a cover.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"President Obama said failing to plan for the aftermath of the U.S. intervention in Libya was the worst mistake of his presidency, and that he won't interfere in the Department of Justice probe of Hillary Clinton's e-mails."

That's weird because like 2 weeks ago he blamed the failure in Libya entirely on David Cameron.

Another of Obama's patented "People are pissed at me for being a douche, time to flip flop" maneuvers?

[John]

Come Irish, how was Obama supposed to know they needed a plan? It is not like the US had invaded and replaced the government in any Middle Eastern countries recently.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I thought Hillary counted Libya as a success on her resume.

[jarflax]

Smart power at its best

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Damn you, jarflax!

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

I heard somewhere that it was smart power at its best.

[Rich]

Yes, she did visit that foreign land.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

fter Jordan Spieth lost the lead with two tees into the water and a quadruple bogey at the twelfth hole on Sunday afternoon.

Not sure If tees he hit into the water effected him, but the two balls he hit in sure didn't help.

[John]

Isn't that the same hole Greg Norman melted down on? When the greens are hard and there is any kind of breeze, that hole is almost unplayable. Hit it the slightest bit hard and the ball rolls across the green and into the bunker or worse the woods. Hit it too soft and you go in the water. And worse, the winds will swirl suddenly and put what would have been a perfect shot short into the water.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

He mishit the first one by 30 feet right. The issue there is that there's a ridge right behind the sand trap and if you're on the left side of it, you can pretty much guarantee yourself a 3-putt. He payed off the ball to make sure he was right of the ridge and in doing so got it hung up in the wind.

The second shot, he just shit the bed. It barely made it to the water. If he just whacks that one into the trap behind the green, he's likely in a playoff at worst. Because when he posted that 7, you could see Willett's body language change, which probably helped him play loose the last 4 holes.

I asked a buddy last night that's played in The Masters what he thought happened. His answer was, "he choked. He failed to hit a recovery shot (the second ball in the water) that every single tour pro hits 99.99% of the time". Of,p course, his best Masters finish was 40th, but I'll still take his word for it.

[AlmightyJB]

He choked

[sloopyinTEXAS]

I do like his game simply because he's not as ridiculously long off the tee as some of the other players. He relies on shotmaking more than a guy that knocks it 360 yards and never has more than a 9 iron into a par 4.

But damn if he isn't slower than shit. He's like a white Kevin Na.

[John]

I agree with your buddy. Your typical 8 handicap amateur could easily hit two or even three shots in the water on that hole. A PGA pro is however a totally different animal. Those guys all, even the worst of them, have unreal skill.

Also, from the tee box on 12 you can see a wind gust coming by looking at a flag on a nearby hole (I forget which one). The gust will hit that flag a second or two before it hits 12. So they watch that flag and wait for it to be down and shoot allowing them to avoid the gust.

You can miss it once but not twice. He just choked. Also, he had been spraying it all over the course all weekend. He hadn't been hitting the ball well at all. He was ahead because his putting was unreal. His inability to hit a straight shot finally caught up with him.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

The typical 8 handicap isn't playing with that many people watching and with the greens that damn fast and hard.

I've played Pebble Beach and shot an 82 there. And I've seen pros shoot 85-86 there. But the conditions were so different they're not even comparable.

Having said that, I can assure you I would have probably played the ball onto the back of the green or into the trap if the worst I could do is bogey the hole and move on with a 3-4 stroke lead afterward with six holes to play. It makes sense rather than even take the 20% chance of a catastrophic error in hitting it short right.

The second ball into the water is inexplicable. He flat out chunked the ball. He was 3" fat with it. Not to mention he dropped where he did rather than in the drop area right up by the water.

[John]

Yeah. One of the most impressive things I have ever heard was how Arnold Palmer shot an 86 in his last round at Augusta. An 86 sounds terrible until you think about it. Palmer was nearly 70 years old and under tournament conditions (no gimmes no mulligans and every rule strictly enforced) with the world watching him he shot an 86. There are awesome golfers out there, club pros and people who have played their entire lives who couldn't at their best shot an 86 under those conditions at Augusta. And Palmer does it in his early 70s I think. That is incredible.

[Mickey Rat]

He also decided to play back from where the ball entered the water hazard instead of going to the drop area. He was playing a shot a pro never plays on that hole for the third stroke.

[BigT]

It will be interesting to see whether this impacts his confidence. Until now he has never faced such a calamity AFAIK. Some people have a hard time coming back, and never recover. But he's young. I sure hope he recovers - seems like a genuine nice guy.

[OneOut]

12 was the only hole I played par.

I got so excited I shot an infinity on 13

The flower beds would likely keep the ball from rolling into the woods.

[OneOut]

I think it was Faldo that blew a 4th day lead with a 17.

There is a plaque by the hole about it.

[Ask Me Abt Waste Fraud & Abuse]

I don't know if it's the terrible writing or the actual touting of identity politics over principle, but this thing is frackin hilarious.

[Lee G]

She's got a hobby horse and she's going to ride it till it rots away.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

I seriously didn't know whether to laugh or cry while reading that.

[Ask Me Abt Waste Fraud & Abuse]

I don't even necessarily disagree with her premise that Bernie is a sexist pig, but everything else is just incomprehensibly bad.

She said "sorted" when she meant "sordid". But that's just probably the patriarchy talking.

[Mickey Rat]

How is voting for someone based on their sex, not sexist? Or is "sexist" just too loaded for them to want to assocciate themselves to it?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Rachel Maddow, predictably, doubles down on retarded.

[straffinrun]

I fantasize about being able to interview Trump. Who knows if I ever will be?

That's a fucked up fantasy.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Couldn't she just,openly,invite him onto the show and tell the audience hw he responds?

[straffinrun]

Do the interview in front of Hoover/Trump! Dam. Then open the gates.

[UnCivilServant]

We can't just give Mexico our strategic water reserves!

[straffinrun]

Don't eat the worm, amigo. It has glasses and toupee.

[SugarFree]

But what if he accepts and she can't take him down? Better muse over a victory than suffer an actual defeat.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

She could do a test run as her Chris Hayes persona.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I was thinking more of her Chris Gaines persona.

[Slammer]

"interview"

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That's a fucked up fantasy.

But it's a pretty good euphemism.

[R C Dean]

"Welp, time to interview the Trump!"

Works for me.

[sarcasmic]

I see my job more as explaining things rather than emoting about things.

Haaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Whew! I'm out of breath!

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

I feel so bad for that good looking 23 year old multimillionaire who melted down so badly over the weekend that he still made $880,000 dollars in three days.

[robc]

4 days.

[Pope Jimbo]

That changes everything! Is that even $15/hour?

[straffinrun]

All the golf hate around here. Love golf and hate Dune. There, I said it.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

What the fuck is a "Dune"?

-8 handicap

[straffinrun]

Something Spieth would rather have found.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

::golf clap::

[Slammer]

That's because it's a planet sized sand trap.

[Pope Jimbo]

worse golf course I ever played was at the Atsugi Naval Air Station. For about 5 holes you were downwind of some sort of garbage burner. The fumes would make your eyes water and turn red. It was horrible.

I haven't played in years though because it is a) too expensive and b) my friends all take it too seriously.

[Jerryskids]

I've only ever tried to play real golf one time, I shot a 60-something in 9 holes and that was enough for me. The holes are just too damn far from the tee for it to be interesting for me, too many chances to screw up for getting one in the hole. I prefer Putt-Putt miniature golf, but is there such a thing as small golf - something maybe 1/4 scale where the longer holes are around 100 yards, maybe a 9-iron course? That would be more fun to me, you screw up a tee shot and it's no big deal because it's going to be over with quickly anyways. Who wants to screw up a shot where you gotta trudge 200 yards and find your ball and then you're still 200 yards from the green and trying to hit out of a briar patch from behind a tree? And even if you don't screw up the shot you're still nowhere near the green so you've got another good chance to screw up your next shot. Give me a course where you're on the green in one or two shots and if you hit a bad tee shot you just get a do-over. You'd only need two or three clubs that way, too.

Damn, if there's not such a thing as 9-iron golf maybe I should start it. Nobody steal this idea!

[Winded]

You might be interested in what is called "Park Golf". It was invented in Japan about 30 years ago, but I know they have opened at least one USA course.

http://www.destroyerparkgolf.com/

[OneOut]

There are par 3 courses where all the holes are short.

There are also some experimental courses where the holes are extra large.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

A goat in California went on a Starbucks run.

Can we now officially call California a nanny state?

[AlmightyJB]

That's cheesey

[jarflax]

That response was a little gruff.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

All these puns are a feta accompli?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

"There's classified and then there's classified."

He's basically making an open advocacy of the rule of man being preferable to the rule of law.

And the seals on the left are clapping wildly.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You mean the people who protested the wars in the mid-east?

[Suthenboy]

I thought he was implying that the stuff on her server was not really sensitive material, in which case he is arguing that Hillary was never allowed access to the important stuff.

[R C Dean]

That's the thing. This server was used for every single one of her official emails. In no universe is it possible that the SecState doesn't have an assload of very highly sensitive info emailed to them.

And, the real focus should be on Blumenthal. They caught him redhanded with top-level shit. That there is no conceivable good explanation for. Roll him, and you get the whole gang, would be my guess.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

What he's implying is,that the legal definitions of words and phrases, such as "Top Secret, Classified and TS/SCI", don't matter to him as much as personal opinions do.

Replace "Top Secret" with "Theft" or "Murder" and you see that he doesn't care about the written law. But anybody that's looked at his immigration policy and his application of the Espionage Act would already know that.

[Mickey Rat]

Of course he is. There is a lot of power in numerous laws which are arbitrarily enforced. You cannot protect the nomenklatura if law is black and white.

[BigT]

President Obama said taking the oath of office was the worst mistake of his presidency, except perhaps for appointing Hillary, or continuing the Afghan and Iraq adventures, or not closing Gitmo, or appointing HorseFace as SoS, or drawing a red line, or dissing Bibi, or bowing to the King of Salty Arabia, or dissing the Queen, or pissing off Putin, or firing a bunch of drones into whatever country he hit with a dart, or appointing Elena Kagan, or bailing out the car companies, or appointing Janet Yelling, or appointing Loretta E. Lynn as AG, or getting too close too that shark when swimming off Hawaii, or marrying the Wookie, or maybe all of these.

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