Smokeless Tobacco Bans Lubricate the Slippery Slope With Gross Brown Spit
Starting today, professional ballplayers at Dodger Stadium will be legally prohibited from chewing tobacco, because of hypocritical local pols who recognize no restraint on their power

Today marks the first Dodgers home game in the stadium's 54-year history in which the ballplayers won't be able to indulge in their gross but decidedly legal habit of chewing tobacco. That's because the Los Angeles City Council decided in January (by a 14-0 vote, natch), to make the use of smokeless tobacco illegal at the city's sporting venues, subject to the same category of punishment as defecating in public (nope, not making that up).
In today's L.A. Times, I go all Roberto Alomar on the face of paternalistic local pols. Excerpt:
The City Council says it wants "to set the right example for America's youth." I guess the lesson is: Don't get too famous, or else your otherwise legal personal habits will become subject to the whims of attention-seeking politicians.
As Councilman David Ryu explained: "Our kids shouldn't be forced to watch the sports heroes they trust using tobacco. It's important we hold professional athletes accountable when it comes to protecting our children and neighborhoods."
But to paraphrase Bryce Harper, that's a clown justification, bro. "Professional athletes" are to "protecting neighborhoods" what opera singers are to garbage collection.
And not only that, these same sanctimonious blowhards have carved out exceptions to the city's many other tobacco bans on lucrative property owned by the city, because ca$h.
Read the whole thing here. Reason on tobacco bans here.
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I badly want to see them perp-walking some million-dollar "hero" into the police station for the crime of using tobacco.
"What are you going to do, arrest me for smoking?"
Things sure have changed.
I badly want to see them perp-walking some million-dollar "hero" into the police station for the crime of using tobacco.
Which do you think will happen first, a high-profile conviction for tobacco use or an elected official effectively saying, "But it's so cool to ban tobacco and all my friends are doing it!" ?
This is a terrible law.I am all for making illegal for women to 'spit' though.
My grandfather chews and has chewed Warren County Twist his entire fucking life. He is in his mid 80s.
Think how much older he'd be if not for that evil tobacco.
Our kids shouldn't be forced to watch the sports heroes they trust using tobacco.
"I'LL DO THE FORCING AROUND HERE THANK YOU VERY MUCH."
I don't think subgenius there understands what the word "force" actually means. He should be asked how kids voluntarily watching a baseball game are being "forced" to do anything.
The parents 'force' these kids to go to these games. If parents will not take proper care of 'the children' top men [ and women ] will.
A point I make in the column.
But ? but, it's the NATIONAL PASTIME!
The next line is equally infuriating.
WTF does that even mean? Accountable for what? Protecting how? Whose children? Which neighborhoods?
It's just bullshit meaningless drivel.
I don't know about you but every time my neighborhood and the children therein are harmed I blame Lebron, sometimes Jack Nicklaus, but mostly Lebron.
It is like Los Angeles is deliberately trying to make watching Jared Weaver pitch even more painful than it already is.
Watching baseball is painful. [ Paint dry,grass grow,ect.,ect. ]
That hurts. Totally true, but it hurts.
lol. Apparently he's only hitting like 83 in spring training. If he keeps that up going into the regular season his starts are going to look a lot like a home run contest. Poor Mike Trout.
Hey, maybe it'll work. Jamie Moyer got away with that into his 40's.
But really, the Angels should make him start working on his knuckler.
"OK, write me a ticket."
I just don't understand how making the players use smoked tobacco is any better.
How about a compromise? The players get to chew, but not to spit.
SNUS FOR ALL!
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
So much for "my body, my choice."