Before You Puke out Your First St. Patrick's Day Guinness, Take a Visit to Bordertown
Listen to Matt Welch, Kmele Foster, and Gustavo Arellano on Sirius XM channel 121 at Noon ET
Have you watched the yeah-let's-go-there new Fox animated series called Bordertown? Set in the possibly fictional city of Mexifornia, it's the heartwarming tale of a disgruntled white Border Patrol agent who is coming to grips with being surrounded by goddamned Mexicans, including his best friend and next-door neighbor. Here's a trailer:
Points alone for generating such Newsbusters headlines as "'Bordertown' Claims the Only White People Having Sex Are Rapists, Rednecks and Racists." One of the show's main writers is friend o' Reason Gustavo "Ask a Mexican" Arellano, and he'll be with me and Kmele Foster today on SiriusXM's Insight Hour (channel 121) at noon ET. We will also be discussing the awful and wonderful American assimilation/alcoholism ritual known as St. Patrick's Day.
Last year, in a more innocent age, Arellano sat down with Reason TV to discuss whether Republicans were having their Latino moment:
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Too racist to have any Irishmen on your show today, Welch?
More like the Irishman (Moynihan) is too lazy to show!
Embedded videos are a crime against the readership.
Oh snap!
Can he even come out when the sun is up?
No, which is why he lives in Sweden.
Must be rough in the summer.
Likely drunk.
Another reason to dislike millennials: they do not seem to like Guinness.
It hasn't been ruined by some beardo dropping an insane amount of hops into the wort. So of course they don't like it.
I stand by my belief that IPAs are a joke someone is playing on hipsters.
Pretty sure the same is true of Bernie Sanders.
I was recently surrounded by a gaggle of them who were ragging on me for liking, and then defending Guinness. I am sure some stouts are better, but I know Guinness is delicious. Now I want some.
I blame Welch.
Pssh. You think beer is supposed to TASTE good? I bet you listen to Journey unironically, too. [gets mustached tattooed on index finger]
These tools had a "where do you buy your skinny jeans" conversation in front of me, so if anyone to know where to buy top notch skinny jeans and pants, let me know.
Related.
Guineas in Ireland is delicious. Anywhere else it tastes burnt.
I will sometimes drink it here if I know the place will pour it correctly, but it really is much better in Ireland. Much creamier there.
Guinness is made differently for different markets.
IPAs were a work around. They were made that way so the beer could survive the trip to India in the days before refrigeration. That they sell such stuff in expensive places now is the same as if Ruth Chris started selling bully beef or spam in addition to their regular steaks and chops.
Eh, the same could be said for the once medicinal Gin and Tonics.
I thought the Gin was there to cover the taste of the Quinine, not to make it survive.
Did I write anything about "surviving"? I meant that like IPAs, the drink was a "work around," that is a way to work around the terrible taste of the quinine. Then, like IPAs, people got a taste for them.
Then I misread the intent of your statement.
No worries...I can see how it was ambiguous.
The difference being...G&Ts; actually taste good.
G&Ts; are nasty. Gross.
From the man who likes IPAs...
Touche, FdA, touche...
Do you find Caipirinha's any better?
It may not be the tonic he objects to but the juniper.
G&Ts; are a refined man's drink; you wouldn't understand. There's nothing I'd rather imbibe while swapping stories of repressing the wogs.
(swats coolie with riding crop)
I don't go in for them often, but the best I had was a microbrew aged in tequila casks. Delicious.
A lot of things that are considered delicacies started out as ways to preserve food. You can say the same about beer in general, or cheese, or pickles or cured meats. A better analogy would be a fancy restaurant serving Jamon Iberico. After all, ham was a workaround to store meat before refrigeration.
I like IPAs - not all of them, but the ones that I like I like a lot.
I like porters and stouts too. Guinness is great but I can't tell the difference between the stuff here and the stuff in Ireland.
I don't understand all the IPA hate.
I don't understand all the IPA hate.
They taste awful, that's all.
Too you they do, but not to others. So why not just let those that enjoy them, enjoy them?
I mean, I know people that hate lobster, red wine, white wine, red meat, ice hockey, golf, warm beach days, Dickens, Led Zeppelin, etc. etc. - I don't get it but I hate things other people love, like college basketball, and St. Patrick's Day.
Seems to me that difference in preferences and taste is what makes being human occasionally a lot of fun?
"I don't get it but I hate things other people love, like college basketball, and St. Patrick's Day."
That's because the one and done rule has ruined college basketball, but hating St. Patrick's day makes you my enemy for life.
You're probably a green Irish...
That's because the one and done rule has ruined college basketball
You just want them blacks working for nothing longer to keep 'em in their place.
Ok, let me specify - I hate St. Patrick's Day in NYC. It's the biggest amateur hour shitshow on the planet. And the commute home is lovely - with drunken morons puking everywhere.
I bet St. Patrick's Day in Ireland is much nicer affair.
You've obviously never been in Boston on this date.
Until fairly recently (last couple decades I believe) St Patrick's Day in Ireland was a religious holiday. You went to church and pubs were closed. Also, they do not eat friggin corned beef in Ireland. I have never seen it there.
Corned beef is a US thing - it was a preservative technique before refrigerated railcars came into being. (even if it predated that, the salt content reduced the ability of bacteria to induce rotting)
it is pretty horrible. it was a little better when i moved out to brooklyn, at least because (*at the time) no one from Jersey or the burbs would bother to go that far, and the local hipsters didn't act much differently than they normally did.
St Patrick's day is like Oktoberfest for people who can't handle beer
The history of it I have no problem with, just all the stupid people /former bartender
Also minus the tasty food
I would hate IPAs less if they weren't crowding so many good-tasting beers off the shelves.
How dare those assholes fill their shelves to meet market demand!
Meh - I am still free to call my neighbors idiots for drinking that crap. I'm sure the trend will die down in time.
Ok, that I can see. I am starting to see more pilsners where I shop.
I'm just pissed off that someone decided that cream ales should only be offered in restaurants (around here) during the summer. Hey, I eat spicy food year-round.
Seems to me that difference in preferences and taste is what makes being human occasionally a lot of fun?
That's what I'd think. But a lot of people seem to think it is more fun to be a dick and pretend that people who don't share their tastes must be lying because they are hipsters.
But a lot of people seem to think it is more fun to be a dick and pretend that people who don't share their tastes must be lying because they are hipsters.
You're just saying that to look cool to the other hipsters.
That doesn't mean you're not wrong.
That doesn't mean you're not wrong.
So, I'm wrong when I say I enjoy drinking hoppy beers? Seems like a bold claim.
Get with the program Zeb. EVERYONE who doesn't share my tastes is wrong.
Jesus, it's like you're new here.
You like what I hate and hate what I like? Then fuck you and your family and everyone else who agrees with you. I hope you all die in the most horrific way possible. Because you deserve it.
Now, what was the topic again?
Oh, i let people enjoy their nasty hop-waters. I just bust chops, is all.
Beer in general tastes awful. Until your brain makes the connection that "Hey all these bitter flavors are followed by inebriation". Your nervous system then suppresses the bitter flavors so that you can distinguish other flavors and aromas in the beer.
People who truly enjoy IPAs aren't tasting the grass clippings and sludge that a person tastes the first time they have a hoppy beer. They are tasting something far different.
I used to hate IPAs, but found that one of the most important keys to enjoying them is to have them in a nice wide-mouthed glass- like a normal tumbler. When you drink straight from the bottle, you don't get the aromas which are the key to enjoying an IPA.
I am a beer open-borders guy. I'll have any beer that is available. I have no problem with IPA-fans, or Guinness fans. My problem is with beer snobs whose self image is so wrapped up in a fucking beverage that they have to ascribe some sort of deficiency to anyone who doesn't share their preferences.
I'm with you. There is a wonderful world of beer out there, and no shortage of any style that anyone might want.
I find my tastes vary a lot. Some days malty beers are just too insipid and nothing will do but a hoppy IPA. Sometimes a beer like that will be too bitter and a stout or English style ale is the thing.
weren't you just saying something about bottles and aromas a second ago?
I think you can be a connoisseur without being a snob. There is lots of great, fancy stuff out there. But I have no problem with a can of cheap lager either.
Look, Gilmore. Saying there is a right way to drink beer isn't being a snob about it. There' clearly is an objectively right way to do it and some people just need to be informed of that way.
There' clearly is an objectively right way to do it and some people just need to be informed of that way.
Is this a dig at me? SILLY STRAWS ARE TOO A LEGIT WAY TO DRINK BEER.
My sister in law drinks beer from a can through a straw. It made me laugh the first time I saw her do it.
SILLY STRAWS ARE TOO A LEGIT WAY TO DRINK BEER.
YES I PUT KOOL AID IN MY MALT LIQUOR, WHAT OF IT?!?!?
(rips shirt off)
Shotgun!! (stabs can with car key)
I specifically said that if you want to enjoy an IPA, it helps to drink it a specific way. I'm not going to call you a cretan for failing to do so. I'm not going to judge you.
I am a foodie and a beer lover. I will happily share my experiences, but I try my best not to judge people. To me a snob is someone who thinks others are inferior for not having "refined" tastes. That is not me at all. I love talking about the intricacies of brewing and food, and have often said something is "not to my taste." But I try to never make objective statements like "That shit is terrible and you are fool if you think otherwise."
I have been known to call the fruit infused beers my buddy drinks Panty Droppers, but that is more in jest than anything else.
I eat ketchup on my eggs and Heinz 57 on my steaks.
Let's see you let that slide.
As long as you didn't say ketchup on a hot dog!
/Chicagoan
I am a beer open-borders guy. I'll have any beer that is available. I have no problem with IPA-fans, or Guinness fans. My problem is with beer snobs whose self image is so wrapped up in a fucking beverage that they have to ascribe some sort of deficiency to anyone who doesn't share their preferences.
Indeed.
I'm guessing you gave your sweetheart a box of baker's chocolates for Valentine's day?
I had a *tangerine* IPA the other day.
Tasted like fucking grapefruit.
Oh for heaven's sake. I love Guinness and American style IPAs. Believe it or not, they are made because people like them. I thought hipster beardos drink PBR anyway. Or have they moved on?
I guess I can see why people might not like the highly hopped beers. But how can anyone not like Guinness?
They were into PBR before they jacked up the price it was popular.
I can't see why anyone doesn't like beer, period. 🙂
When I go hunting, after a 20 mile hike pulling elk off the side of a mountain, a Bud Lite is fantastic. At the end of the day, as I enjoy chilli or some other camp food, I'll drink a good stout or ESB. When the evening is winding down, I ensure a good sleep with a high gravity belgian.
Beer is food, and I don't have a single preference- it's all about the occasion and my mood. I get that people have things they don't like and more power to them. Just don't try to insist that your choices are some proof of moral fiber. And while I'm at it, stop telling my friends to recommend I enter a 12 step program.
On our last backpacking trip, we overshot our intended destination and ended up hiking nearly to Pecos Baldy. Tired, running out of daylight and water, we set up camp on the ridge and shared an entire bottle of Pendleton.
Beer would have been much better. The next morning was awful.
I have no problem with that, because it means more Guinness for me.
Another reason to dislike millennials: they do not seem to like Guinness.
Makes my pee smell like "Liquid Smoke"!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid_smoke
Cubans are not Mexicans. The vast majority of the Latins in this country are either Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, or Central Americans. And all of those groups hate Cubans with a passion.
The idea that the GOP would pick up Hispanic votes by running Cubans is rather curious to say the least, especially when you consider that Cubans tend to vote Republican anyway.
Everyone south of the US border is a Mexican
Are they butt secksers too?
And debil weed smokers
Re: John,
Must have felt good to arrive at such conclusion, right? Like: Phew!
We Mexicans don't hate Cubans, John. We loves em Cuban women and their perfectly-curved behinds.
As far as politics go, Latinos are much less homogeneous than what the Demo-rats think. Or the xenophobic and economically-illiterate anti-immigrant crowd thinks.
Old Mexican,
The worst racist I have ever met in my life, remember I have spent time in the middle east having frank conversations with Arabs about Jews and Kurds, was a Puerto Rican attorney I worked with who hated Cubans. It was shocking how much she hated them. The Mexicans I knew in Texas were not fond of Central Americans or Cubans either.
The funny thing is that everyone down there seems to hate Mexicans. They won't show the old Speedy Gonzalez cartoons in the US anymore because they are considered racist. I am told, though I don't know for sure, that they are still wildly popular in South America because making fun of Mexicans is something everyone apparently does.
So everyone everywhere is tribal and hates the other tribe. It's been this way forever and will remain so for the foreseeable future.
I just hate dicks. Dicks of every race, gender, and nationality. If you're not a dick, then we're cool.
In South Florida, the Haitians hate the Cubans and the Cubans hate the Haitians. I don't care as long as the Cubans keep making their awesome food.
Uh - really? Because the Mexicans I know wouldn't know a Cuban from a Puerto Rican and wouldn't care.
The Mexicans I know see it differently.
Hang on a second. I thought Latinos (along with everybody else) were supposed to be having a LIBERTARIAN moment.
If they were, it wouldn't be a collective movement.
I watched the trailer. It was as funny as this.
A human being that actually deserves a safe space. Brave little girl. That's a badass.
From the Newsbusters Link:
"Bud: My God, he's right. Listen, you guys, unless you want to stay a minority forever, you better get to making more babies.
Inbred creature: My sister and I did our part. It's just skin, but you could put it over a non-white person to make him white. Now you're Connor!
Kidnapper: If it helps, there's some white girls in my basement that weren't counted in the census.
George: Hey, what about you, Bud? Are you gonna get Janice pregnant?
Bud: Who, me? Oh, no, my wife has trouble in the bedroom. Her husband's not attracted to her.
Kidnapper: Well, ain't that kind of hypocritical?
George: Yeah, Bud, put your penis where your mouth is.
Bud: Fine, fine, fine, I'll do it! I'll make the ultimate sacrifice for my country and have sex with my wife.
Stalker: You know what, I'm gonna have sex with my wife, too. I'm coming, Sharon. No judge can keep us apart."
I'm mostly offended that this is wildly unfunny. It's just like "These are hick stereotypes! Look at how we can point to hick stereotypes!"
Those were hicks? And stereotypes to boot?
Need a Safe Space?
???
I said it wasn't funny. Not that I was offended.
On reflection, I probably should have added the ";)" after all.
White people be crazy!
That's mostly McFarlan's schtick.
It wasn't obvious in Family Guy because that's where he grew up and that show's as much nostalgia as anything for him.
American Dad and The Cleveland Show constantly fight that. AD got better, IMO, when he stopped paying a lot of attention to it.
If it survives 2 or three years Bordertown might become decent. But its never gonna be a 'King of the Hill'. Judge probably could have done this show justice, not hamfisted McFarlan.
As I was driving back to paradise from Arizona, it occurred to me that Reason should get its own XM channel. Maybe even do the AM radio thing.
If the goal is to convert Republicanz to libertarians it might be a good medium. Hit em where they live.
The golf clubs in flyover country?
Church?
You bringing hotdish to the potluck?
Better yet = they should get their own *sitcom* where they pretend to be a radio station.
They already did that with a FOXNews show.
That was just some sort of training exercise they put Kennedy through, not a sincere effort at a libertarian WKRP-reworking
WTF? What's with the dearth of Trumplinks? I always knew the Reason Staff were a bunch of slackers but this is ridiculous.
It was time for a palate cleanser.
That T.V. show reminds me of the awful 'satire' A Day Without Mexicans where we learn that if Mexicans disappeared from the United States, Americans suddenly wouldn't know how to take care of their own lawns and cook food.
I like that movie because it was ostensibly pro-immigrant, and yet it was predicated on the notion that all Mexicans are good for is picking crops. I feel like he didn't think that through.
Re: Irish Breaks Up W/ESB,
At least it would have the effect of Irish forgetting what Opportunity Cost and Comparative Advantage look like. Oh, look! It happened already!
Dude, the show wasn't about 'opportunity cost,' it was about Americans being literally unable to figure out how to take care of their children without Mexican nannies to help them.
If there weren't Mexican workers, the cost of shit would go up because of increased labor costs, but the work would still get done. They might just replace cheap Mexican laborers with automation in many instances or people would cut their own lawns who were previously hiring Hispanic lawn workers.
And you're claiming I'm the one forgetting how economics works?
Re: Irish Breaks Up W/ ESB
Exaggerations aside, the point of the show is that the economic benefit of immigrant workers is real and not made up.
If only it were that simple, Irish. The problem is that once the lower-cost labor goes away, it is not like the consumers will simply shrug and say "Ah, c'est la vie!" and pay more for their cooks, nannies and landscapers. That won't happen. That's the point of the show.
Yes. I am making that claim. You just said above "the work would still be done." No, it won't. If that were true, then the effects of a minimum wage hike would not matter. Think about it.
A better way to put it is that some of the work would not be done, and some of the work that would still be done would not be done at the same cost or in the same manner.
Much of that work would still get done. It would just be done by a different group. The group is called "teenagers".
it is not like the consumers will simply shrug and say "Ah, c'est la vie!" and pay more for their cooks, nannies and landscapers
This is true. But children will still be cared for, food will be prepared and lawns will be mowed. Some things wouldn't get done that are done now, but it won't be the case that no one will be able or willing to do the work currently done by Mexicans and other immigrants.
Who knows - American youth might decide that honest work is better than a government handou-- hahahahah I almost got it out.
Seems like a brilliant strategy. The sort of film that would be odious to the right would be taken as gospel by the left, and so nobody would watch it (like Piketty's book). So you make it deliberately contentious and now everyone wants to see it.
(Granted, a brilliant strategy for making money, not for genuine activism.)
A lot of ostensible pro-immigrants are racist as fuck. Film at 11.
That was funny. I'm a huge stout and porter and belgian beer guy. Strangely I'm not a big Guiness fan. I'd rather do a light lager than a thin stout. Just my preference. Don't really care much for IPAs either. If adding a cement truck worth of hops to the malt was a great idea, the monks would have done it and perfected it a long time ago. Balance padwan.
I would add that a 2 minute clip is funny, I wouldn't want to watch a whole episode.
same here. I like guiness with certain foods, but not as a "Let's party!" beverage.
I have a soft spot for dark lagers. Blackened Voodoo, Shiner Bock, Warsteiner Dunkel. But any decent lager will usually make me happy. like Overt, i also sometimes ike shitty american light beers (or better = Mexican beers like pacifico, tecate) when there are occasions for very high-volume-drinking. Esp outdoors, on the beach. I think there's a time for snobby beer, and a time for swill,
Yeah, that's me. I love Bocks and Dunkles as well. Not familiar with the Blackened Voodoo, I'll look for it. I'm not drinking Chimay all day. I might start with the good stuff, but if I'm planning on making it an event (like tonight) I'm most likely going with Miller Lite. Any heavier and I get way too full.
So Voodoo is a Louisiana beer. Don't recall seeing any Dixie. I do see Albita all over the place though.
Oh yeah, its a Mardi Gras /Jazzfest staple. That's normally how everyone first encounters it.
Nice. I'll look around. We get a pretty good selection here
until I looked at the draft of $7079 , I didnt believe that...my... mother in law had been actualie bringing home money in there spare time at there labtop. . there sisters neighbour haz done this for under 4 months and resantly cleard the dept on their place and purchased a new Lotus Carlton .try here ..
?? W?W?W. A?l?p?h?a-C?a?r?e?e?r?s.C?O?M
What a bunch of fucking snobs. I have 2 Plinys in the fridge. Maybe today will be the day/
I saw IBU's of 80 and 100. Either way that will pucker you up.
why is everything a "moment" now?
All this 'beer drinking' is a euphemism, right?
[makes jerking off motion]
I'm telling the boss!
After work, I'll be drinking some lovely bushmills black label. Anyone have any other blended they'd advise? I'm no mine/factory owner yet, so I don't have hundreds of dollars to get the super expensive stuff.
Bushmills for years (I don't know about now) would not hire any Catholic (Irish) workers. It was known as an Orangeman's whisky. Try the Jameson's Caskmate. Very drinkable stuff. Aged in stout barrels and you can taste the creaminess.
Will do. The standard Jameson isn't as good as most people seem to say it is. Not bad, and my standard if I'm at the bar. Cask mate it is. Thanks
Yup, I much prefer Irish to Scots whisky. I'm just not a fan of the peat unless it's being burned, lovely smell. If you want a really top shelf Irish whisky try Red Breast 10.
I also didn't know that about bushmills. Their black label was the first one I truly enjoyed, no matter what.
Just in case anyone wanted to tune in, you can sign up for Sirius and they give you a 30 day trial. took like 5 mins.
Kmele is not wearing green.
Matt pronounces "Ribald" as '"Rye-bald"
It makes me wonder if i've been reading it wrong for ages. No one ever actually *says* it. my english colleagues said, "Ribb-old"
Matt charts the evolution of immigrant culture in america from austere roots, to ascendance in certain occupations, to outperformance in sports, to crony political machines, to natives celebrating the immigrant holidays by drunkenly pretending to be them and urinating in the streets
Sounds about right.
There is a "West-Indian-American" festival in Brooklyn which is a complete freaking riot. it never generated the press that the PR Day parade does, but its usually good for a few shootings every year.
e.g. 2015 = "Brooklyn community leaders blame guns, not festival, for West Indian American Day Parade violence"
The Daily News has been on the craziest batshit-insane crusade against guns I have ever seen. That is the hill they have chosen to die on as they circle down the drain looking for a buyer to save them.
NYC has less gun crime than any other american city, and already has super-strictest laws in the country
(*and, surprisingly, zero connection between those 2 facts - because they still had the same laws back when the city was a rape/murder festival)
i don't know why they even bother. I always thought the daily news was just for sports and gossip and "what rapper was arrested / sued this week".
Bordertown? Based on the trailer - no.
Mexifornia? They couldn't go with Calexico?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calexico,_California
Look, we all like beer. Stouts are delicious. Ales are also delicious. All the beer is wonderful.
Except sours.
Now this is the way to get the true beer snobs to reveal themselves.
Jokes are fun.
WHITE SHADOW IS MY FAVORITE SHOW!?? MATT YOUR STEALING MY STORIES
And they just told a joke about a leprechaun fucking a penguin
MORE JOKES LESS WHINING ABOUT STEREOTYPES (throws beer bottle at wall, looks for someone to start fight with)
Matt tells story about tying virgins to trees in the Czech republic.
Joke is told =
"Have you ever heard about the irish guy who left the bar?"
"No?"
.....
(silence)
Once upon a time, maybe 10-15 years ago, bars around here didn't have IPAs, they just had pale ales. And they didn't taste like someone had taken a dare to see how much hops they could cram in before people stopped drinking them.
This is the second time i've listened to this show. This is the second time i note that the advertisements are for "baldness solutions" (hint: there aren't any, you fool)
I think its a step up from The Independents, at least. I haven't heard any ads for industrial lubricants yet.
Now they talk about Trump for the rest of the show. (goes back to working)
Matt just proved Kmele's point.
There ARE black supporters of Trump and people in the media continue to pretend its supposed to be 'shocking' and bizarre. Being constantly aghast about 'racism' is a white-people thing which reveals a cloistered very-white view of the world. Not everyone gives a shit.
And why is an "Irish Car Bomb" not IrishCatholicophobia?!? smdh
I really hated making those as a bartender. Almost invariably they would be ordered by ejits that would get way too drunk. Just get a Guinness and a shot fer crissake.
I'm pretty sure they don't call it that in Ireland. Nor do they serve black and tans.
You're likely to get thrown out if you order either of them.