Man Jailed for Unregistered Cat
Dan Smith insists the cat in question isn't his, but rather a feral cat that his estranged wife would feed.


File this under one way America's overcriminalization hasn't caught up to Canada's, at least: retired Quebec refrigeration technician Dan Smith is going to jail for failing to register his cat.
Under the law in Smith's hometown of Gatineau, Quebec, all cat owners must obtain proper documentation for their furry friends. Smith, however, insists the cat in question isn't his, but rather a feral cat that his estranged-wife would feed.
Nonetheless, Smith has accepted his fate, turning himself in to Gatineau police on Thursday morning, the Ottawa Sun reports.
"I want to get this over with," Smith said. "I'm turning myself in," Smith told a woman at the front desk of the station. "I'm surrendering."
Smith has been chased for months by animal control officers and police in Gatineau over a $276 charge — fine and court costs — after being found guilty last summer of not having a licence for a cat, as required under municipal bylaw.
Smith, however, says that "Winnie" isn't his, and it's feral anyway, and he doesn't even live in Gatineau. He says Winnie belongs to his estranged wife, with whom he still shares a Gatineau home even though he also has a place across the river in Vanier.
Smith says he bears no resentment against the animal. Who Smith does blame is an overzealous SPCA officer and a Gatineau bylaw, which requires cats to be licensed, but doesn't make a distinction for a feral cat such as Winnie. The cat first showed up their door 12 years ago and stuck around because his wife kept feeding it, Smith says.
Smith opted to spend three days in jail rather than pay the $326 in fines and court fees he owes by this point. "It's the principle," he told the Sun. "Why should I pay a fine if I don't own a cat?"
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Smith, using a cane because of arthritis and carrying a plastic bag of prescription drugs for various maladies, walked to the cruiser outside, was frisked and asked to hand over the plastic bag before he got into the back seat. Then he was off.
I'm glad this son of a bitch is behind bars.
From a different article:
The SPCA officer left and returned with two Gatineau police officers. Soon after, he was handed the ticket. "You feed it, you own it," the SPCA officer told him.
Smith promptly invited the three in for dinner.
Boom
Wow (also, sorry for pulling an Eddie):
Elizabeth Smith [estranged wife] said Dan is telling the truth. She started caring for Winnie after it began showing up at their house 12 years ago, and considers it her pet, not Dan's. Because Winnie is a feral cat, she never thought of buying the annual licence for the animal. But that changed last June after Dan was found guilty. Elizabeth immediately bought a licence.
So at the end of the day, the stupid cat is licensed anyway.
Ah, yes, but the wife's property belongs to the husband, so he's responsible for the property and any fees.
Canada has finally established the kind of theocracy I've been yearning for.
/sarc
Coverture FTW.
Those drugs are probably a handout from the socialist healthcare system. Now this guy is bitching about paying a few bucks back to the government? No sympathy from me.
A protectionist healthcare industry by which the medical mafia shakes down citizens for 10thousand percent markup.
His reign of terror via unregistered cat ownership is over!
He's been avoiding this for months! How come they didn't SWAT him and gun him down in the street? Damn cat insurrectionists.
Canada...no guns remember
"Who Smith does blame is an overzealous SPCA officer and a Gatineau bylaw"
The SPCA isn't a police entity in Quebec, is it? Isn't that the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals?
Do they have official status in Quebec?
Perhaps it was a private prosecution.
Which, if true, would just show the you can't rely on average hick citizens to prosecute cases, you need an impartial prosecutor's office which would *never* harass anyone unjustly!
They used in NY.
They do in Quebec too:
And...
Even the government isn't above SPCA.
Obviously, common sense feline control is working in Gatineau.
If we could just jail everybody for owning cats, the world would be a better place.
*hisses*
*shows back and preens self*
I think I heard about you in the PM links yesterday.
Don't cross the streams!
Oh, sorry, I thought I was reading the AM links.
That's actually kinda hot.
Have you seen her lift her tail and present?
No, but I'm interested in seeing her lick cream from a bowl.
There's none wasted that way.
Me-ow, girl!
polite applause.....classy
Watch this and just replace the word "fedora" with "cats".
You can have my cats when you pry them away from my cold, dead body. Which they will have no doubt partially eaten.
Cats are very environmentally minded, and eminently practical. You're just going to rot anyway, and if they are hungry, why the hell not? If I were to die and my little calico was going hungry, I'd expect to take at least a few choice bites.
Look, if you and your human friend were trapped somewhere, you'd expect him/her to eat you when you freeze to death, right? Now replace that human with a cat/dog. It's not even cannibalism for them, cmon.
When trapped in a house with its dead owner, a dog will, after many days, get desperate and resort to eating the body. A cat won't even wait until the food dish is empty. I love my little box-shitting retards, but i don't have any illusions about their nature.
Well, cats are pretty picky about their meat being fresh.
"...little box shitting retards." Seems I got something worthwhile out of today after all.
I wish all mine could hit the box.
If we could just jail everybody for owning cats
That wouldn't be very fair to the people who don't own cats.
Anyway, no one owns a cat. They just sort of hand around.
Does anyone really need more than 7 cats?
No. I say this as someone with 9.
I only have 6, at the moment.
If we could jail everybody for feeding feral cats, you mean.
I have a female cat named Carlos Danger. The other female cat is Donnie Trump.
They are really big pussies.
Let's not forget - let's not forget, dude - that keeping wildlife, a feral feline, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that ain't legal either.
I guess they don't know about "rule of law" up there in the frozen wastes. Does this guy want all order to break down? Pay your fine, freeloader!
What are you a fucking park ranger now?
Hey Boo-Boo, why don't we go on the lookout for some pic-a-nic baskets!
So you have no frame of reference here, HM. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know...
I am the walrus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDOJ4L0Edk
Wait, what's new about this, they've been jailing dudes for illegal pussy forever
*applauds*
I had no idea you could just buy a license for it now.
Only if you feed a feral one.
I'll even tame it.
Aren't they all?
Actually, women make very poor house pets. You'd be much better off with a Mountain Lion. Their behavior is more predictable and they're slower to anger.
Prostitution is legal in Canada. Though one suspects that the 'Because it's 2016' party will soon fix sex positive feminism's little red wagon. Or sled.
If I recall, bawdy houses, aka brothels are illegal. There was movement in Parliament to hold 'johns' accountable because of the patriarchy and penises being the root, pun intended, of all evil.
Is it my positive bias toward sex and drugs, or does ENB have better stories than most of the other dudes here?
Or you are really passionate about abortion. Weirdo.
Busted. At least on the weirdo part. I don't have a stance on abortion, it's the issue I am using in my apathy about the universe exercises. Which I am failing at in the sex and drugs areas. Damn it.
To warn you, there are no strange people in the hit and run commentariat, so you could stand out a little.
*barrels out of closet wrestling gator*
Who's the new weirdo?
Wait is the gator closeted, or is the wrestling done in closets?
Or you are really passionate about abortion. Weirdo.
I'm curious if rule 34 is really universal, but at the same time I don't want to know.
There are no exceptions to Rule 34. None.
*hits Google search, cringes*
Tell us what you find. In detail.
You mean as in wondering how many flavors, again, pun intended, of 2 girls 1 cup one could find, or variations on live action tentacle porn?
I have noted a dearth of normal folks here -and that if one applies a belt-sander, figuratively, that normal veneer covers some freakishly dirty stuff in most folks' personal tastes.
Why just "figuratively"?
No, no no. It is the love of penis which is the root of all evil. Common mistake.
Guilty as charged.
I'm gay for myself.
Do you think gay dudes get turned on by their own wieners?
Well, I assume that a gay guy invented the howdy stranger.
(howdy stanger: Sit on your wrist until your hand falls asleep, jerk off, and it feels like someone else is doing it)
You straight people are so weird.
Seems plausible, same for lesbians, being attracted to their own sex.
If I had breasts, I'd never leave my room
Only to the extent that straight guys do.
Ah, I should have caught this. 'Time served' in progressive hellholes like BTV, Northampton, PDX. The womyn of Smith could have trained me better, were I not so intransigent.
For all of you Dudes (and Dudettes I suppose too) out there, who are stirred up by this article, into dreaming and creaming of cavorting and consorting with wild, furry felines, I have composed the following peom for you:
Well, I don't know where they come from but they sure do come
I hope they comin' for me
And I don't know how they do it but they sure do it good
I hope they're doin' it for free
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Well, the first time that I got it I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
An' I went to see the doctor and he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
I got a bad scratch fever
The cat scratch fever
It's nothin' dangerous
I feel no pain
I've got the choo-choo train
You know you got it when you, you're going insane
It makes a grown man cry, cry, oh won't you make my bed
Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand
They know they gettin' it from me
They know just where to go when they need their lovin' man
They know I'm doin' it for free
I give them cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
They got a bad scratch fever
The cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever?
I award you one nekomata.
The Furrie Anthem.
I think Mark Steyn even has it on his recently released album, Feline Groovy.
AC/DC, you,re welcome.
Best version (with Mike Huckabee)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyDFtJdh0Zs
To add a pun to another pun: It turns out that the city's name, Gatineau, is pronounced gatino, just as "gattino," the Italian word for "kitten." You can't make this up.
Its times like these when I think there may be a god and is laughing his ass off.
snort......
Smith says he bears no resentment against the animal.
Smart pr move Criminal. If he'd muttered "fucking cat" all the sympathy would dry up and cat lovers would attack him on twitter.
You do NOT mess with the Internet's favorite animal.
I am fortunate enough to have a crazy cat lady who is keeping/feeding a feral cat colony on the property adjacent my business. I love the constant presence of stray cats pissing and shitting in the flower beds and fighting in the parking lot.
Not to mention the paper plates she uses to feed them that blow around the property.
*tells self you shouldn't hate the mentally ill*
I used to live next door to someone who did that. I got fed up with it, and Mr. .22 and I negotiated with the little fuckers.
I've certainly considered it.
There was the story about a vet who killed a feral cat with a crossbow and lost her license. My various acquaintances couldn't understand my apathy to the killing of the animal. I love cats, have owned one throughout my entire life. They are also a ridiculous efficient killing machine and even the domesticated housebound ones are more than capable of causing serious harm if pissed off enough. Someone going out and killing feral ones is doing their community a huge favor.
If I remember correctly, it turned out the cat wasn't feral, but was an outdoor cat belonging to a resident of the neighborhood.
Yeah man, see "... kristen-lindsey-justice-for-tiger " ... (link too long) http://www.thecatniptimes.com/.....kitty-doe/
But?
CUPID SHOULD LOSE HIS LICENSE, TOO, DAMMIT!!!!
If'n ye think about it, Cupid is accused (rightfully so) of shooting (with a bow and arrow) 100% of the hearts of those in romantic / sexual love, yes, we all know that?
But CUPID SHOOTS PUSSIES TOO, dammit! In about 50% of these "love" cases!
And Cupid is Stupid, then, for breaking the law! And that's NOT-OK, Cupid!!!
A distinction without significance.
Damn indent limit. If you are saying that the outdoor cat/feral cat is the distinction without a difference, you have clearly had no experience with a feral cat. It's almost like two different species when it comes to behavior around people.
^This (what Zeb said). Although it's possible that GT considers any animal that strays onto his property to be "feral" and eligible for killing. There are a lot of assholes here.
Smith opted to spend three days in jail rather than pay the $326 in fines and court fees he owes by this point.
Good for him. Cost the system money rather than feed the beast.
The microwave burritos aren't half bad.
I hear that people usually buy their cats at pet shows without even going through a background check.
We definitely need more common sense cat safety laws.
Reasonable, common-sense pussy control.
DID IT HAVE THE THING THAT FOLDS DOWN?!?! WAS IT AN ASSAULT PUSSY?!?!? DID IT HAVE A BAYONET LUG?!?!?
No but I hear it had a high capacity kibble dispenser; [semi] automatic, at that. They don't need those things to catch mice, you know.
What we really need these days is...
You want to put that pussy on the chiainwax?
HM, I think HoD just took your Youtube crown.
That is awesome
I had a couple of males who would go sit on the sidewalk in front of the house and make the people with dogs on leashes go to the other side of the street.
"As he surrendered Thursdsay, the French-speaking clerk didn't seem to understand what Smith was saying, but he was eventually told by someone else behind the front desk to wait in the lobby for a police officer."
I thought Canadian civil servants were supposed to know both French and English.
A french speaker that does't understand surrender? C'mon!
Nice.
Federal civil servant must be bilingual. This was a municipal civil-servant, in the province of Quebec, so he may very well be unilingual.
I know cunilingual
Beware the double standard.
"Too bad Canada doesn't have the death penalty."
-LAO"L"
"Without government, who would take care of all of the adorable kitties?"
"My estranged wife would."
"You're under arrest."
Way too many feral cats survived this story for it to be any good.
Unless real family values like bear wrestling and marking hogs are covered or the half-feral family pet gets shot at the end, what's the point?
I blame John Cleese and Michael Palin.
There's no such thing as a bloody cat license!
Yes there is!
No there isn't!
What's that then?
This is a dog license with the word :"dog" crossed out and "cat" written in crayon.
They would have to change places for the modern bit.
But you don't need a license for a cat.
You bloody well do, and I've got one!
I do not believe for a motherfucking second there's a cop in Gatineau who can't understand that much English.
I think the cop was doing the repeater, but Smith couldn't tell because he doesn't speak French.
It's a French thing. My mother who was British and spoke French said she ran into that shit all the time back in the 60s. She knew damned well they understood her French, but knew she was British so always feigned misunderstanding.
Im making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do,
...................... http://www.richi8.com
Prostitute!
Those damn Canadians are trying to reduce their social costs with government harassment in hopes of an increase in illegal immigration to America. This is WAR. Call Trump. 🙂
Now those Canadians, they're not sending us their best. They're sending us feral cat owners, people looking for a doctor's appointments without a 6-month wait, and tourists from Quebec. And some, I assume, are good people.
I hope some clever officer at the jail decides to give him 3 hats and a cat.
Close enough
"I want to get this over with," Smith said. "I'm turning myself in," Smith told a woman at the front desk of the station. "I'm surrendering."
These words sum up the general feeling I have every time there's an election.
Resistance is futile.
How is it that no one has posted this yet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1RGwaCUjm0
Not that long ago the notion of a cat license was absurd.
Do I need licences for the pet Zika viruses that I am carrying about?
Is it named "Eric?"
***ALL*** of them are named Eric!
Every law every regulation every tax is a gun.
I believe that Reason's favorite explanation for all government tyranny is appropriate here.
Because fuck you, that's why.
When cats are outlawed, only outlaws will have cats.
Smart guy. He makes $326, get's 3 days of R&R in a quiet Canadian town's Mayberry jail, avoids the wife and cat, can catch up on reading, room service 3 times a day, and all on the town of Gatineau's dime. What's not to like?
Oh, Canada.
From Monty Python sketch to actual law in how many years?
lol ou have GOT to be kidding me.
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i don't swing that way, but the way he doesn't blame the cat at all is sexy.
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