A.M. Links: State of the Union Address Tonight, Suicide Attack in Istanbul, Bloomberg Weighs Third-Party Presidential Run

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  • A suicide bomber has killed at least 10 in a popular tourist area in Istanbul, Turkey.
  • Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is reportedly considering a third-party run for the presidency.

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  1. Barack Obama will deliver the last State of the Union address of his presidency tonight.

    Final.

    1. Final

      no.

      First !

    2. Hello.

      “Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is reportedly considering a third-party run for the presidency.”

      I WILL NANNY YOU ALL TO DEATH.

      1. Run, Nanny Bloomers, Run!

        The epic failure of that caompaign would be priceless.

        1. Seconded.

          *** big gulp ***

      2. LP, CPUSA, GREENazi, Tea… I make that a seventh-party attempt at also-running, with no equivocation as to the meaning of 3rd, 4th, 5th or 6th. Or has the Tea Party given up on making us a Christian version of Islamic State?

    3. End of an error.

        1. I saw several “1-20-08 End of an Error” bumper stickers back in the day.

          1. We could make one.

            1. I’ve already seen “1-20-17 End of an Error” bumper stickers in upstate new york no less.

  2. Bernie Sanders: “Secretary Clinton and her campaign is in serious trouble.”

    Haven’t we learned by now that if you strike a Clinton campaign down they shall become more powerul than you can possibly imagine?

    1. I think of it more as a hydra–cut off one head and two take its place.

      1. Each time the Hydra appears, her vagina internally produces more venom.

        SHE CAN’T BE STOPPED.

        1. HAIL HYDRA!

          1. You’re supposed to whisper that.

            1. Not at the meetings.

    2. “Secretary Clinton and her campaign is are in serious trouble.”

      FIFY, Bernie. Also, get a haircut.

      1. You’re out of touch with modern American-speak, ifh.

        The new rule is: the verb matches the closest noun.

        Another example: “Predictions about the election is proving to be difficult.”

        1. Flat No.

          I don’t care how many ignorant slobs make that mistake, the predictions are proving to be difficult.

          1. So quaint.

            (That mistake is also something up with which I will not put!)

            1. A difference between those two; new word forms were not created to support the bullshit latinesque rule about ending a sentence with a preposition.

              1. Denizens of modern America wishes to go boldly where no grammatician has gone before!

          2. So many ignorant slobs is making that mistake, dude.

            1. NO! Many a slob is making that mistake.

              1. I believe you mean “Many a slob are makin’ them mistakes.”

          3. Maybe it’s a missing colon:

            Secretary Clinton: And her campaign is in serious trouble.

          4. Your both wrong, ‘the predictions about the election is gonna be that we is all fucked” would be the proper parsing.

            1. Why are you guys so mad for? I wish we could just get along, instead of fighting tooth-in-nail, over miner grammatical errors.

        2. That one is less common than incorrectly matching the verb to the noun in a prepositional phrase.

        3. More like:

          Predictions about the election be proving difficult.

          1. “shit is all fucked up”

      2. It’s beging to sound like Clinton herelf may be in trouble as well.

        One can only dream.

      3. Also, get a haircut.

        if he just trims the nose hair I’ll call it a win.

      4. There’s a missing coma. It should be: “Secretary Clinton, and her campaign, is in serious trouble.”

        1. Missing coma. What an excellent John.

      5. Either looter socialist–the female or the legalize-it–would, by winning, give hypothetical nonfanatical fiscal conservative Republicans reason to shovel their antichoice prohibitionists back into the Tea, Prohi and American parties. Just by running they give LP spoiler votes worth twice the usual clout.

    3. I think it may be time for release Hillary 8.8.

  3. 135) I’ve never bought a lottery ticket before. I think I’ll buy one today, though. This is the first time there’s ever been an amount of money I’m interested in. If I win, I think I’ll buy a major league baseball team, maybe Tampa Bay, and move it to Mexico City. Mexicans love baseball! The team would instantly become a national symbol.

    OK, I just checked, and the average annual salary in Mexico City $36,000. (Seems high? Or maybe that only counts people in formal employment.) And, Mexico City is the biggest city in North America. Plus, people from all over Mexico will want to see their team when they visit the capital. Plus, the television rights. I’m pretty sure this is a foolproof plan.

    1. After you take the cah option and pay Uncle Sam you have enough left over for a nice down payment.

      Now that it’s this high could someone bbuy 1 of every combination and be guarranteed a winning ticket.

      I didn’t say profitable because you might split. just a winning number ?

      1. Its been done before, with state lotteries.

        1. I thought that was myth, would you even have the time to get that many tickets printed, I suppose you could coordinate and use thousands of machines but still seems unlikely.

          1. The paper linked below gives 3 historical cases, including the one I remember…the VA lottery in 1992.

            1. I’m surprised that’s not banned. You’d think it would be more profitable for the lottery to limit total tickets bought to something like a million, so you can keep the possibility of numbers going up and people buying in.

              1. Total tickets bought by an individual or group. Not everybody.

              2. Limit the number of tickets and you also limit the money pouring in. To correct for that, you’d have to have an auction, or ban scalpers. Just another form of price control which any libertarian ought to see through.

            2. 300 million combos at one ticket a second, printing 24/7 would take 3,472 days. if you have 4 days between drawings you still need to use 868 machines that is not counting reloading paper and ink and clearing jams and whatnot. I’m gonna stick with my skepticism in the face of your facts.

              1. Each ticket can have up to ten combos on it. A little less daunting of a task than you first make it out to be.

                1. OK, an order of magnitude less daunting, which is still pretty daunting.

                  1. Iirc, the va group only bought like 80% in time, but hit the jackpot, saving them some money.

                    1. From NYT
                      Lottery officials say the International Lotto Fund, based in Melbourne, Australia, bought five million of the seven million possible numerical combinations in the Feb. 15 game.

                      They didn’t even manage to buy 2% of what the power ball would require and the article also states that Va and other were looking to change their rules to make bulk purchases harder,

                      Thus I firmly stand by my initial, instinctual, indubitable claim of bullshit.

      2. See my post below. Guaranteed and profitable.

    2. This is the first time there’s ever been an amount of money I’m interested in.

      So it needs to be north of $950m (the estimated payout if someone had won on Saturday) for it to interest you?

      1. Life-changing money isn’t enough. I need epoch-shifting money.

        1. I see.

        2. Then you need to forget about lotteries and become a bigshot hedge fund manager.

          One of those guys, David Tepper, made about $3.5 billion in one year a couple of years ago.

      1. I play the scratch ‘n sniff. Should hit the big time any day now.

    3. Don’t bother, because I’m buying the winning ticket

      1. +1 Wonka bar

    4. There’s about 292 million different combinations of five numbers from 1-69, plus one from 1-26. Powerball tickets are $2 each, with a $1.3 billion jackpot. You also win $1,000,000 if you get all five numbers but not the Powerball number, $50,000 for 4 numbers + Powerball, $100 for 4 numbers and no Powerball or 3 numbers plus PB, nominal prizes below that.

      I move that we pool our resources and buy all of the tickets. It’ll cost roughly $600 million dollars, but we’ll be entitled to deduct that cost from our winnings on our tax returns.

      Who’s in?

      1. I move that we pool our resources and buy all of the tickets. It’ll cost roughly $600 million dollars, but we’ll be entitled to deduct that cost from our winnings on our tax returns.

        There is no way to buy all of the combos and come out in the black.

        1. At the current level, there is (optimistically assuming no split jackpot)
          $1.3B for jackpot
          $25,000,000 for the remaining combos of winning numbers without the Powerball
          ~$16,000,000 for the 300ish combos of 4 winning numbers + Powerball
          Plus the thousands and thousands of smaller prizes…

          1. About half of the $600M would also go into the face value of the ticket as well, so the $1.4B would become $1.7B.

            The cash buyout would be about 1B, and the tax bite is probably right about the .6B.

            Significant risk for something that, at best, gets you to a small profit, based entirely on how you play the tax game.

            1. Gambling loss deduction would wipe out $600M of income, reducing tax bill to close to $160M, then.

        2. Yeah there is. There is just a risk of someone else also getting the combo. The lump sum is $868 million. 868-600 = 268M Taxable income. $268M * 40% (highest tax rate is 39.6% but rounding is easier. Your tax bill would be $107M if you live in a state with no income tax. *Side note, I live in Florida so I will handle our money, I promise on Hillary Clinton I won’t steal it*

          Initial cost $600M + $107M in Tax = $707M. Congrats!

          Of course if someone else wins too you are fucked.

          1. I am a bad CPA, I was thinking gambling losses were subject to pease limitations.

            So, yes, it is possible, and more fruitful if you do not live in MD such as myself, but if the pot is split we are boned.

            1. Gambling losses are limited to the extent of gambling winnings per section 165, but I think that’s the only limitation

        3. Out of curiosity, say a person and 20,000 of their closest friends win. They take the lump sum. Would that keep them out of the top tax bracket?

          1. I think they immediately tax the person who signs the ticket. I don’t think there can officially be multiple winners.

            1. Can a corporation sign the ticket?

              1. No idea. I would guess not.

                1. Although people have formed large groups to try to beat the odds in lotteries. Not sure if that was in the US, though.

                2. Depends on state, I believe. I understand that in KY, you can form an LLC to serve as the winner.

            2. There can be, I think, but there would need to be some sort of proof as to how the deal was structured before the tickets were purchased.

              So if you tried to say that after you won, you had an agreement to split the pot with your 20,000 friends, the IRS and your state would likely challenge that.

              1. I would think you would be opening yourself up to a raft of charges if your corporation defrauded legal owners of the corporation by embezzling the money.
                Otherwise, in the real world, you’d be sacrificing $700 million just to not pay a $100 million tax bill, in exchange for $40k. I don’t think it is a good scheme if scheming was your game, so I think it would only be real.

                Another angle to that, would the lottery be considered income and therefore liable for the corporate tax rate, minus expenses? If so, you might not gain much.

    5. This is the first time there’s ever been an amount of money I’m interested in.

      Yeah, $100 million is hardly worth bothering with. I find that in my sofa.

    6. At $10/hour, not an unreasonable number considering who buys lottery tickets, and considering that the payout is 50% of the total, that jackpot represents 140,000 man-years of effort. And, most everyone playing gets zero return, except for a few who get great return, and mostly squander* it. Sure, in a libertarian or any just society, you shouldn’t be requiring people to spend their money wisely instead of a hopeless dream, but still … 140,000 man-years.

      [*A lady living locally was just rumored by friends and convenience store clerks to have spent her entire recent $13,000 lottery winnings … buying lottery tickets (and was still buying $100/week, trying for that one big win).]

  4. Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is reportedly considering a third-party run for the presidency.

    Stealing votes from no one.

    1. Stealing votes from no one.

      He might just be stealing votes from Trump – Dems unhappy with Hillary (or Bernito) will have some place to go without voting for Trump.

    2. Splitting the anti-gun, nanny-state votes off the Democrats.

      I cannot see Bloomberg stealing Republican votes from anywhere it actually matters – he’s poison to anyone who cares about gun ownership which includes most swing states.

      And, if Bloomy runs his own campaign, he won’t be throwing as much cash into other races.

  5. Cops: Shoplifter Bit Off Walmart Worker’s Finger

    A South Carolina woman who was convicted last year of clobbering a fellow strip club employee over the head with a stiletto shoe was arrested yesterday after she bit off the finger of a Walmart employee who tried to stop her from shoplifting condoms, lubricant, and panties, police charge.

    1. A few months ago I was in line behind a man at Wal-Mart with severe physical disabilities. He walked with a strange gait, and was literally drooling on himself and emitting weird hums. I happened to notice what was in his cart: a 100-pack of condoms and an industrial-sized bottle of KY Jelly. My brain boggled. The KY I could understand, but the condoms? Did this guy have a girlfriend? Or maybe it was wishful thinking? Or maybe, he just liked putting them on…

      1. Maybe his sister is hooking to take care of her disabled brother, and he helps out by doing the shopping.

        1. Good point. I didn’t think of that one.

      2. “Did this guy have a girlfriend?”

        I just want to make it clear, good for him if he does! I simply found this possibility unlikely.

        1. good for him if he does!

          assuming that her face doesn’t look like an elephant’s asshole. Which is even more likely than him not having a girlfriend. There’s a seat for every ass.

      3. The thing is, if you worked there, you’d have to have him in your check out lane, etc. And no matter what I have bought, I have never had a clerk say anything . . . except one time I bought bras at Target and the clerk was all of 17, and he was having a hard time.

        1. Paging Swiss…

        2. having a hard time

          go on…

      4. I could have gone…well forever, without knowing about that.

        *googles up brain bleach*

      5. Philippines vacation?

      6. Some ladies are into that. I, uh, heard.

      7. The best combo of purchases I ever saw was the the girl in front of me in the grocery line on a Friday night: Diet coke, a tube of cookie dough and a big economy box of tampons. Poor thing was already in her sweats.

        1. Probably already in her cups, too.

          1. If she had a Diva Cup, why was she buying tampons?

        2. My vote would go to the elderly woman in a rascal who had two (2) things in her basket:

          (1) A case of light beer.

          (2) A box of Depends.

          1. Crusty would.

      8. He walked with a strange gait,

        Giant dick

        drooling on himself and emitting weird hums

        Master cunnilinguist with a built in vibrator

      9. “I was in line behind a man at Wal-Mart with severe physical disabilities. He walked with a strange gait, and was literally drooling on himself and emitting weird hums. I happened to notice what was in his cart: a 100-pack of condoms and an industrial-sized bottle of KY Jelly. My brain boggled. The KY I could understand, but the condoms? Did this guy have a girlfriend? ‘

        Ugh. Patriarchy.

        He was obviously a man-gimp sent to do errands.

      10. Drug mule. Sounds like a victim of PCP leakage too…

  6. South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley will give the Republican response to Obama’s State of the Union speech.

    The worst.

    1. *begins to narrow gaze…reconsiders and begins slow clap*

      1. You’ve been missed on a few recent threads. The absence of your narrowed gaze has led to out-of-control pun postings.

  7. Epi?

    Federal judge dismisses naked Portland violinist’s claims

    Matthew T. Mglej of Hillsboro, Oregon, sued the Portland police and the county last January, seeking $1.1 million in damages. The 26-year-old was arrested for indecent exposure in May 2014.

    According to The Oregonian, the judge said Mglej’s nudity didn’t advance a specific message, so it wasn’t protected by either the First Amendment or the state constitution.

    The judge allowed one allegation of excessive force against Multnomah County to proceed to trial. Mglej claimed jail deputies cut his wrists by jerking on his handcuffs.

    1. Not Epi. Epi enjoys it when the cuffs bite into his wrists.

      1. Yeah…they wouldn’t be jerking his “handcuffs”…

        1. “THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER.”

    2. He can’t play the violin.

    3. Which is completely bullshit. As the deputy DA for that jurisdiction argued in a prior naked bicyclist case, way back in 2008:

      Deputy District Attorney Ryan Lufkin argued that Hammond didn’t carry any signs, pass out fliers or otherwise attempt to communicate his message to bystanders.

      “He may have well thought he was doing this for a noble purpose, but there was no way to express that to a rational person,” Lufkin said. “This was, by every definition of the word, streaking.”

      Lufkin told the judge that if he dismissed the charges against Hammond on free-speech grounds, he was in essence invalidating city code. Lufkin said anyone who’d been arrested for indecent exposure could argue they were exempt from the law because they were expressing speech.

      And the judge did rule for the naked bicyclist (Hammond). There’s also the case of the man stripping at airport security, also beat the rap. WTF does it take for a federal judge to see that nudity is clear protected under state case law? A running wood chipper? Portland Police have had eight years, since their DA partner called the current city statute invalid, to retrain their officers. Sue the officers’ bosses for failure to oversee and curb their employees illegal actions too. Oh, who am I kidding? Never going to happen.

    4. Mglej’s nudity didn’t advance a specific message

      “Being an obnoxious narcissist isn’t against the law” seems like a pretty specific message to me.

  8. Bernie Sanders: “Secretary Clinton and her campaign is in serious trouble.”

    Anybody else find out the Dems were having a forum as it was happening?

  9. South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley will give the Republican response to Obama’s State of the Union speech.

    Will the old white man telling her what to say be in frame?

  10. Bush Super-PAC Launches Ad Campaign Attacking Rubio Over ‘Amnesty’

    “Marco Rubio: He ran for Senate saying he opposed amnesty. Then he flipped, worked with liberal Chuck Schumer to co-author the path to citizenship bill. He threatened to vote against it, and then voted for it. He supported his own Dream Act, and then he abandoned it. Marco Rubio: just another Washington politician you can’t trust,” the narrator says. “Jeb Bush: He’s a leader, so you always know where he stands.”

    The Rubio campaign dismissed the ad as a desperate move by a failing campaign.

    “Jeb Bush and his establishment allies are trying to buy this election and they know Marco is standing in their way. That’s why their attacks grow more desperate by the day. When Marco is president, there will be no amnesty and we will secure the border. Period,” Rubio spokesman Alex Conant said in a statement.

    1. Both Trump and Cruz send Bush their thanks.

      1. Its revenge at this point, as he has flamed out like so many other shriek predictions.

    2. So the guy running for President of Mexico is complaining about amnesty for Mexican illegals in the USA?

  11. Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is reportedly considering a third-party run for the presidency

    Because the current crop of self-described socialists just aren’t statist enough

    1. What would his party be, I am wondering?

      1. Is there an official Authoritarian Party in the U.S.?

        1. There are at least two.

      2. The The Rent Is Too Damn High Party

      3. How about Bull Moose party? A republican running as a progressive makes it seem appropriate.

    2. He has the money to make the state work efficiently THIS TIME!

      Will progressives finally get the man they’ve been waiting for?

      1. Vote for her and they’ll only figuratively be watching their victims. Or something.

    3. The serious socialists aren’t interested enough in micromanaging fast food portion sizes.

  12. Aldermanic candidate has car stolen while campaigning

    A candidate hoping to improve the quality of life in Milwaukee finds out she’s just as susceptible to crime as her neighbors.

    Vivian Redd-Fehr said her car was stolen while campaigning near Sherman Boulevard and Hope Avenue.

    “At some point, I’d leave the car running. At other times, I would not. And I think this person was literally watching us,” Redd-Fehr

    She said she never thought she’d become the victim of the same type of crime she hopes to improve.

    1. She left her car running while she was out of sight of it…Yeah, dummy that’ll get it stolen even in the nicer neighborhoods.

    2. She said she never thought she’d become the victim of the same type of crime she hopes to improve.

      Phrasing.

    3. “And I think this person was literally watching us,” Redd-Fehr’

      That’s how it usually works.

  13. Barack Obama will deliver the last State of the Union address of his presidency tonight.

    You don’t know the future, Damon!

  14. Bernie Sanders: “Secretary Clinton and her campaign is in serious trouble.”

    Ouch, is he saying only women should be secretaries?

  15. Barack Obama will deliver the last State of the Union address of his presidency tonight.

    And I can’t wait to not watch it!

    1. I have successfully avoided watching every State of the Union Address in my lifetime and think myself better informed for it.

      1. I made the mistake of watching one once. NEVER AGAIN.

        1. It is a monumental waste in practically every sense.

          1. Jefferson had the right idea.

      2. You’ve also spared yourself a great deal of disgust. Leaving aside the bullshit that the speech itself is, there is the revolting spectacle of mobs of supposedly sober adults slobbering over what they obviously see as a god-king, not the president of a constitutional republic. The president gets a standing ovation from at least part of the room every time he passes gas.

      3. I think I watched a Clinton one once. That man could sure spin some bullshit without inducing nausea, unlike the current occupant.

        1. The last time I actually sat down to watch a politician give a speech on TV was when Clinton made some kind of address about the Lewinsky affair.

          And the only reason I watched it was because my brother and I were little kids and we wanted to giggle and make wiener jokes about him.

    2. The sound of his voice triggers an immediate instinctive response from remote controller finger.

    3. Can’t remember the last SOTU I watched. The one after 9/11 for sure, maybe the one after that. I have no plans to break my streak.

    4. “There are those who say [strawman of libertarian argument]. I say, no, we can do better. We must [something that massively increases government power and spending]”

      Repeat.

      1. [pause for fifteen seconds of applause]

        1. [pan across chamber to stop on disabled transgender activist; cut to Jimmy Carter lookin’ sleepy]

  16. Here’s exactly how Bernie Sanders can beat Hillary Clinton

    FIX: NBC/Marist released a poll Sunday that showed Bernie within the margin of error in Iowa. Does that jibe with what you guys are seeing? And if so, what explains the momentum there?

    Devine: We believe the race has tightened in recent weeks in Iowa. I think a number of factors have led to the tightening. First, Bernie’s message is very powerful: America has a rigged economy that is sending most of the new wealth to the top, and it’s being held in place by a corrupt system of campaign finance. The Clinton campaign went on TV in Iowa (and New Hampshire) on Aug. 4. We started our media campaign Nov. 4. I think we have made up a lot of ground in both places since then.

    Also, Bernie is a very strong messenger for that message. He is credible and authentic, and people understand that these fights against powerful interests are the work of his life.

    1. America has a rigged economy that is sending most of the new wealth to the top,

      Yes, wealth just “gets sent” places, it is never earned through investments or production or providing goods and services. It just gets “sent”. Fucking morons.

      1. Well, the government sends a lot of tax money right to the top. Stopping that would be a good start. Maybe making it easier to start a small business and reducing onerous rules and regs for business owners too.

        I’ve seen a few of the Bernie ads that purport to explain the “rigged economy”. I can’t believe that anyone watches that and thinks there is a point or any real information. There certainly are problems with the relationships between government and big business. But Sanders almost completely misses the point.

    2. By hiring Tonya Harding?

      1. hahah I forgot about her.

        1. She has not aged well.

          http://www.insideedition.com/i…..5/4336.jpg

          1. No, she’s alright, but hey, I’m 52 and You’re just into, “Younger Women?”

  17. Alabama beat Clemson last night to win the College Football Playoff National Championship.

    I think you’re legally obligated to mention the sponsor.

    1. Didn’t watch. Decent game?

      1. My wife graduated from Alabama, and I went to a school without a football team, so we root for the Tide.

        Yes.

        Yes, it was a thrilling game.

      2. Great game, except for the Alabama winning part. They picked on Clemson’s safety twice for easy TD passes that were the difference in the game.

      3. I tried to watch but the broadcast kept stuttering and freezing. I gave up and watched Archer re-runs instead.

        1. Thanks all.

      4. Who cares? NFL playoffs are underway already.

      5. Really fun game to watch. I had zero (0) dogs in that fight, and enjoyed the hell out of it. I was more or less hoping Alabama would win, I guess, but whatev.

        Either of those teams could probably give any number of NFL teams a run.

    2. Brought to you by Tide, for that fresh scent. Now back to you, Eugene.

  18. Oil steadies below $32 as investors book profits

    Crude oil steadied near $32 per barrel on Tuesday, recovering slightly as investors booked profits after it fell to a near-12-year low on concerns about oversupply and fragile demand from China.

    Prices are down around 15 percent since the start of the year, dragged lower by a glut, China’s weakening economy and stock market turmoil, as well as the strong dollar, which makes it more expensive for those using other currencies to buy oil.

    Benchmark Brent crude fell to a low of $30.43 per barrel, a level last seen in April 2004, before recovering to $31.75, up 20 cents or 0.5 percent, by 1142 GMT.

    1. I’m starting to worry for the oil companies and the companies that exist to service them. Wages and everything else was built on the premise that oil wouldn’t drop this low. Everybody in the industry has cut to the point that they have laid off valuable employees. If this becomes the new normal, I’m worried we’ll see some big names crash and burn.

      1. I doubt it. They may have to adjust to a new set of circumstances but at the end of the day they make money on massive levels of inventory turnover, and that isn’t going to change with lower oil prices – except maybe increase.

        1. they make money on massive levels of inventory turnover

          Obviously you’ve never worked in the oil industry. Lifting costs (production) have been increasing for decades, and at some point the cost of producing the crude does not justify continuing. Saudi has the lowest lifting costs in the world,

          In the United Kingdom, it costs $52.50 to produce a barrel of oil — which is trading right now [Nov 2015] around $42. Oil production in Brazil costs nearly $49 per barrel. Production costs around $41 a barrel in Canada.
          In the United States, production costs are $36 a barrel

          BP announced 4,000 job cuts just today.

        2. Not true. There’s massive debt (somewhere north of $200B) in the oil fracking business and most of it is rated at junk bond status now.

          The fallout is going to continue for a while as noone can afford to stop pumping, which keeps prices low. There’s going to be a big wave of bankruptcies.

        3. So, how are they still in business?

          1. Savings, loans, and layoffs. If you’ve got clever accountants you can keep going for a bit on negative sales.

            1. Also diversity, a lot of different oil companies are invested in multiple parts of the world. So while some of their assets aren’t turning a profit, some of them are.

              1. Yay diversity!

          2. The defaults have just started. They’ve been running on cash reserves and if lucky, surviving on fixed price contracts for a while, but those are expiring.

      2. I believe that is the Saudis’ plan.

        1. Probably. But the Saudis’ don’t realize* how fast the US bankruptcy system allows other companies to buy the equipment for pennies on the dollar, rehire all the desperate skilled workers at lower wages, and start cranking out oil again as soon as they [the Saudis’] try to crank the prices back up.

          [Some of them probably realize this, but the people in control think that all the hierarchical ownership systems are just like theirs [the Saudis’], which wouldn’t stand up to going out of business, and popping back up under someone else’s control. Confirmation bias makes the world go ’round.]

      3. I’m worried we’ll see some big names crash and burn.

        Too Big to Fail: Round Two

        1. You can bet your sweet ass that President Establishment-Candidate (of either party) would make damned sure to bail out their buddies in the oil industry.

          “The recovery was just getting started [for 9 years], and we cannot allow a slip back into recession now!”

      4. I’m starting to worry for the oil companies and the companies that exist to service them.

        I wouldn’t worry too much. The oil patch is a boom-and-bust place and always has been.

  19. New freeze-dried ‘poo pills’ could be the answer to obesity

    Twenty obese volunteers will be taking part in the research and each will be receiving capsules that include several grams of stool from slim donors.

    The pills will be taken every week for six weeks without making any changes to their normal diet and exercise habits while researchers track any changes.

    These health and weight recordings will be taken at three, six and 12 months, with the potential to continue further depending on the success of the trial.

    1. Eat shit and diet, fatties

    2. New freeze-dried ‘poo pills’ could be the answer to obesity

      Some simple-minded poo pills still believe this.

    3. Also known as “fecal transplants”, and used for, among other things, C. diff infections. It will be interesting to see if changing gut flora affects people’s weight.

      1. I had only heard about it being used for C diff. What else have you seen/heard of it being used for?

        1. Seems like we were going to try it on colitis or IBS also.

  20. Of course you won’t see this mentioned by the people here at reason:

    The father of the billionaires Charles G. and David H. Koch helped construct a major oil refinery in Nazi Germany that was personally approved by Adolf Hitler, according to a new history of the Kochs and other wealthy families.

    The book, “Dark Money,” by Jane Mayer, traces the rise of the modern conservative movement through the activism and money of a handful of rich donors: among them Richard Mellon Scaife, an heir to the Mellon banking fortune, and Harry and Lynde Bradley, brothers who became wealthy in part from military contracts but poured millions into anti-government philanthropy.

    But the book is largely focused on the Koch family, stretching back to its involvement in the far-right John Birch Society and the political and business activities of the father, Fred C. Koch, who found some of his earliest business success overseas in the years leading up to World War II. One venture was a partnership with the American Nazi sympathizer William Rhodes Davis, who, according to Ms. Mayer, hired Mr. Koch to help build the third-largest oil refinery in the Third Reich, a critical industrial cog in Hitler’s war machine.

    Hail hydra!

    1. in 1933.

      Why does everyone skip over that part? He built a refinery in 1933.

      1. He should have known the future!!11!!!!!! KOCHTOPUS NAZIS!!111!!!!!!

      2. Because then you can’t call him an evil monster.

    2. How many oil refineries were built in Germany in the 30’s without Hitler’s approval?

      1. In 1933 Hitler was just appointed the chancellor of Germany representing a socialist political party. He was not yet a dictator and the Fuhrer. So criticizing someone for building a refinery in Germany in 1933 is idiotic.

    3. Henry Ford built tractor manufacturing plants for Stalin and taught them assembly line production but he’s still the darling of the left because he had a self imposed minimum wage.

      1. He paid above market rate and had his pick of the quality workers, further aiding productivity. I also recall that Ford had annual complete staff layoffs wherein everyone had to reapply to work at the plants too.

        1. Ford established a city in Brazil in order to grow his own rubber for tires. For some reason, he deemed it necessary for the workers in the center of the Amazon rainforest to adopt an American middle-class Protestant lifestyle.

          It did not go well.

          1. I was unfamiliar with that idea. How interesting. How stupid.

          2. He also believed that what people ate didn’t matter because it was all simply fuel for their bodies. He developed a habit of eating whatever plants he found growing in his yard (after consulting with his pal George Washington Carver first to make sure they weren’t poisonous).

    4. How did Soros get his start again?

      1. A small loan of a million dollars from his father?

      2. Th-th-that’s different! Koch made money off of the Nazis. Soros just participated.

    5. stretching back to its involvement in the far-right John Birch Society

      Wait till they hear about the Property and Freedom Society.

    6. And he was Time’s Man of the Year in 1938. I don’t think he had quite lost his … luster … in 1933.

    7. It’s a mystery to me why “progressives” believe every word in the NYT (and other far-left publications like Mother Jones and Daily Kos) as though it were chiseled on stone tablets and carried down from a mountaintop, but they endlessly screech about the biased POV of Fox News.

        1. Well, I suppose not. It’s just pathetic, though.

  21. Barack Obama will deliver the last State of the Union address of his presidency tonight.

    Let a tsunami of narcissism flow!

  22. Kinda light on comments so far. Is everyone Goggle Imaging Sonny Leone?

    1. Funny, I just caught my own John-level typo…

      1. I find typing with two hands iproves my accuracy.

  23. Hillary Clinton Races to Close Enthusiasm Gap With Bernie Sanders in Iowa

    Iowa Democrats are displaying far less passion for Hillary Clinton than for Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont three weeks before the presidential caucuses, creating anxiety inside the Clinton campaign as she scrambles to energize supporters and to court wavering voters.

    The enthusiasm gap spilled abundantly into view in recent days, from the cheering crowds and emotional outpourings that greeted Mr. Sanders, and in interviews with more than 50 Iowans at campaign stops for both candidates.

    Voters have mobbed Mr. Sanders at events since Friday, some jumping over chairs to shake his hand, snap a selfie or thank him for speaking about the middle class. “Did you get to touch him?” asked one woman who could not get close enough after an event here on Saturday.

    1. Caucuses are odd. Sometimes the candidate with the buzz (Sanders) wins, sometimes the candidate with the organization (Hillary) wins. And polls are not good at predicting which.

      This will be very interesting. If Bernie can pick up either NH or Iowa, Hillary is in a lot of trouble. Her support is paper-thin and could evaporate quickly, is my totally unresearched gut reaction.

      1. You’re not wrong, her support base is thinner than the cunt hairs growing on her chin.

        1. That’s pretty thick, actually.

  24. Call me when Justin Amash gives the Republican response to the State of the Union.

    1. “Mr. Amash promised a detailed rebuttal on his Facebook page, but limited his on camera remarks to just two sentences – ‘Fuck off, slaver. No, fuck you, cut spending'”…

  25. The Associated Press Verified account
    ?BREAKING: Turkish deputy PM: Istanbul suicide bomber is 28-year-old Syrian; victims mostly foreign

    1. So of course Obama will have a Syrian refugee as a guest at his final state of the union speech. Just a big fuck you to people who have expressed legitimate security concerns.

      1. Obama will have a Syrian refugee as a guest

        A whole refugee, or just parts scraped up in Istanbul this morning?

          1. A Syrian refugee, a former illegal immigrant and a plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that legalized gay marriage…

            walk into a bar.

            1. The refugee throws the plaintiff off the roof, and the illegal says . . . .

              C’mon, help me out with the punchline.

              1. “See, that’s another job Americans won’t do!”

                1. Ba-dum CHHH

          2. The individuals who will be seated in the guest box tell the story of the progress we have made since the President delivered his first address seven years ago ?…. Outside of the White House guest list, Rep. Barbara Lee, D-Calif., announced Friday that one of the Black Lives Matter founders, Alicia Garza, will be her guest for Tuesday’s address. Meanwhile, House Speaker Paul Ryan, R-Wis., also announced his own guest list…..

            This sounds like the worst party ever.

      2. Obama will have a Syrian refugee as a guest

        For real? I heard the Wookiee is saving an empty chair “in honor of the victims of gun violence”.

        As if listening to her husband isn’t vomit-inducing enough.

        1. That woman is the worst. I think she posts online on various forums under her codename “Nikki”.

        2. the Wookiee is saving an empty chair

          So she can say she sat next to the Prez.

  26. I probably missed it because I haven’t posted much recently, but has anyone posted this open letter from NOW defending the Rolling Stone rape hoaxer and claiming she’s a real rape victim?

    “Even more troubling, Dean Eramo’s court filings wrongly argue that “Jackie” cannot seek the legal protections afforded to alleged victims of sexual assault. She goes on to engage in numerous offensive attacks against “Jackie”, including repeatedly attacking her because she did not report her assault to the police or wish to cooperate with their investigation. Keep in mind that these actions are being taken by a University dean who specifically counseled “Jackie.”

    Your dean’s demands recite nearly every false argument made to undermine victims of sexual assault. It is exactly this kind of victim blaming and shaming that fosters rape culture, re-victimizes those brave enough to have come forward, and silences countless other victims. It is deeply disturbing to see what UVA students are now witnessing: A senior University official, whose job was to counsel and support rape survivors, publicly attacking one such survivor in court filings. We do not see how students who experience sexual assault at UVA will be able to trust University officials tasked with protecting them if this conduct is allowed to continue.”

    1. Wow, that’s an amazing amount of delusion. They really do live in their own separate world.

      1. White men are to these women what Jews are to anti-Semites. Go and read the defenses of the Dryfus prosecution sometime. They read exactly like this.

    2. She is neither a victim nor a ‘survivor’ since there was no rape. She is a false-accuser.

      1. Which makes her at least as evil as your average kidnapper or extortionist, but probably even worse yet still since her weapon of choice is the injustice system of the state. Fuck her, I wish her the worst.

    3. A senior University official, whose job was to counsel and support rape survivors

      And people wonder why tuition is out of control.

      1. And what is it with this “survivor” bullshit? Rapes are typically not fatal, so they are “victims”, not survivors. It’s like claiming to be a mugging “survivor”.

        1. Grrl power or something.

          I’m still shaking my head that a college dean is expected to be some sort of crisis counselor.

    1. Well, when they’re right, they’re right

      1. Oh, they call him “Madonna’s Ex, Sean Penn” too. That has to sting.

        1. I wish he had done the whole interview as Spicoli.

          1. I am beginning to think that he really is Spicoli. That wasn’t an act.

    2. I always felt he played the parts of Sam and Spicoli really well.

      Too well.

    3. I figured that the Mexican authorities decided he should die when they loudly proclaimed that his interview led them to El Chunko.

      1. Yeah, if he’s not already in hiding, he is as dumb as he sounds.

    1. Waiting for the him to declare the next Crusade.

    2. “The present wave of migration seems to be undermining the foundations of that ‘humanistic spirit’ which Europe has always loved and defended,” he said.

      I think “always” is a bit of a stretch.

    3. Maybe he has caught on that at some point the people of Europe are going to get enough of their ruling class’ bullshit , enough of being victimized by third world savages and the reaction is going to be….bad.

      Mark my words, it is coming.

      1. It’s already started in Germany.

        1. You know who ?else? —

          Oh, never mind.

    4. Pope Warns Migrant Influx Threatens Europe’s ‘Humanistic Spirit’

      Didn’t the Pope come out at the beginning of all this and began lecturing everyone about taking unlimited numbers of refugees? Maybe I misremember.

      1. That shit went down the Memory Hole.

  27. Multiple Jobholders Surge To Highest Since August 2008

    As we noted earlier, while the headline payrolls print blew away consensus estimates, printing above the highest expectations, there was a rather unpleasant number in the data: nominal average hourly wages actually dipped by 1 cent to $25.24.

    What caused this? There are three reasons.

    First: the continued surge of minimum wage jobs, as seen in the chart below, which shows that in December another 36,900 minimum wage waiters and bartenders were added to the labor force, bringing the total to a new record high of 11.3 million.

    Second: a troubling finding from the report was the continued surge in temp-help workers. In fact, as the BLS admitted, while employment in professional and business services increased by 73,000 in December, temporary help services accounting for nearly half, or 34,000, of the gain. As the chart below shows, jumping the 34K jump in December brought the number of temp-worker to a new all time high.

    Third: the most troubling aspect of today’s jobs report, and perhaps the clearest explanation why there was no wage growth in December, is that the number of multiple job holders soared by 324,000 bringing the total to 7.738 million. This was the highest since August 2008, which as a reminder is the month before the great financial crisis started.

    1. I look forward to POTUS addressing these concerns in his little speech tonight.

    2. The other issue is that the big job gains they reported were almost entirely fictional “seasonal adjustments”.

      The data showed a grand total of 11,000 new jobs.

      http://nypost.com/2016/01/11/t…..ob-report/

    3. Our recovery continues!

      (Part LXVII)

  28. Question: Why on Earth would Charlize Theron have willingly had sex with Sean Penn? He’s rich, but she’s so rich that she doesn’t need to gold dig. Plus, she’s hot and he perennially looks like an alien hobo wearing a skin suit he ripped off of a pimp.

    1. Because she’s hot enough and rich enough that she can sleep with whoever the hell she wants. After a couple years of that looks become less important, especially when who you are sleeping with tonight has no effect on who you get to sleep with tomorrow.

      1. He also beats people up. And he’s crazy. And seems boring and pretentious.

        1. It’s impressive that he can do/be all of those things, really.

      2. So if he was kind of a homely guy with a great personality, I could get that, illocust.

        But he’s actually kind of a homely guy, with a terrible personality. The mystery continues . . . .

    2. Two words: Bad boy.

    3. It was her duty for the party maybe. Hell, forget Theron, why would Robyn Wright have sex with him? She is no Theron but still she could do better than Penn

      1. Robin Wright is 50 years old and I would still hit that. You make a valid point. Pretty much every woman who’s ever been with Sean Penn was too good for Sean Penn. He must have some masterful game that I’m not aware of.

        1. not to mention Madonna at the height of her powers.

          1. Yeh but Madonna ain’t exactly a bastion of intellectual thought so it’s not surprising.

            1. And the list of men who “had Madonna in her prime” is likely really long and the requirements to get on that list are very low or likely nonexistent.

        2. I have always thought Wright was hot. Forrest Gump did alright in my book.

          1. “I may not be a smart man, but I know what a nice ass is.”

        3. She was totally hot in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

    4. I mean their has to be something to him Robin Wright and now her.

    5. I think y’all underestimate just how incestuous hollywood is. The blacks, whites, jews, atheists, man, woman, hot, not hot, etc, etc, don’t separate themselves out like that. To them all of the performers are ‘one of us’, ‘our kind’.

      Also, most of what you hear about them, who is sleeping with who, who got arrested, who is fighting, etc etc is bullshit cooked up by PR people to keep them in the spotlight. Really, 99% of that shit is manufactured.

      This bs by Penn with El Chapo is no exception. The whole thing is a PR stunt.

  29. OT: Don’t know how much I could ever believe this but first heard. Morgan Freeman thinking about run on Libertarian ticket.

    http://thelibertarianrepublic……ertarians/

    1. *first heard on Scott Horton.

    2. President Morgan Freeman? Now THAT would be a State of the Union address that i could stand to listen to.

      1. Everyone would. It wouldn’t even matter what he said. Just speak, President Freeman. Let those golden tones wash over the land and heal us all.

        1. “My fellow Americans, I do not wish to address you as a collective. I intend to address every one of you. Mr. Speaker, please hand me the phone book.”

      2. “I wish I could tell you that President Freeman fought the good fight and rolled back big government. I wish I could tell you that, but politics is no fairy tale world.”

    3. Wait, I think I saw a webcomic where that happened. Then Godzilla ran as a Green, I think.

  30. My Night With the World’s First Bionic Penis
    Charlotte Rose, a former British ‘Sex Worker of the Year,’ is relishing helping 43-year-old Mohammed Abad?who has a bionic penis?lose his virginity.

    This will be Rose’s first bionic penis, but she often works with men with disabilities.

    “I have got gentlemen with muscular cirrhosis, Motor neuron disease, and those who are quadriplegics, tetraplegics, and have Parkinson’s. I’ve got one client that communicates with me through his eyes, and it can be so funny because he rolls his eyes at me because my spelling is rubbish.”

    While she insists that she loves the work, Rose admits that these encounters can be emotionally fraught.

    “I’ve got a gentleman in a wheelchair, he wanted training on how to better his oral skills to better a woman’s experience. And I said, ‘Oh, what about you?’ And he said: “Don’t worry about me, I don’t want to be loved?I’m going to die soon. I don’t want somebody feeling sorry for me.'”

    When she got home, she was in tears. Her daughter, who is 15, asked what was wrong. “She gave me a big cuddle and a big kiss and she said, ‘They are lucky to have you.’

    1. They are lucky.

      Out of the mouth of babes………

    2. They are lucky.

      Out of the mouth of babes………

  31. Obama’s last State of the Union will try to counter electorate’s anger

    President Obama will deliver his last State of the Union address Tuesday at a moment when fear and anger seem to be driving both the American electorate and the candidates seeking to replace him in the White House.

    His challenge? Communicate a message big enough to rise above the election-season vitriol.

    To that end, the White House has promised a “non-traditional” speech that, in the president’s words, will cut through the “day-to-day noise of Washington” and celebrate the country’s capacity “to come together as one American family.” Instead of a to-do list of policy proposals that have little chance of passing Congress, he has said he plans to deliver a speech that will describe “who we are” as a nation ? or perhaps more accurately, whom Obama, in the last year of his presidency, would like us to be.

    *throws up a little*

    1. What’s the over and under line on how many times he uses the word “I” ?

      1. Oh, that’s a tough one. I estimate 250 times.

    2. a “non-traditional” speech that, in the president’s words, will cut through the “day-to-day noise of Washington” and celebrate the country’s capacity “to come together as one American family

      This, from the most deliberately divisive President in my lifetime.

      1. His MO isnt changing. He will continue to pick scabs and provoke division. This is just an opportunity for him to try and lull people into being vulnerable.

      2. The man literally hates his country. I would not be surprised to see them retire to France or something.

        1. That has been my thought for a while now. The left has managed to elect someone President (twice!) who actually despises America.

          1. Well, he represents them, so there’s that.

    3. But…Obama is the day to day noise of Washington.

  32. I’m contemplating this little gem from Tao Te Ching:

    “Give evil nothing to oppose
    and it will disappear by itself.”

    Could it be the secret to defeating Hillary?

    *** looks at Heroic Mulatto ***

    1. The Tao also says:

      Governing a country is like cooking a small fish
      Using the Tao to manage the world
      Its demons have no power

      Which I interpret as that she should be placed in boiling oil.

  33. 1st Amendment: Right to Wear Unearned Military Medals Protected by Constitution, Court Rules

    The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the conviction of former Marine Elven Joe Swisher for wearing a medal he did not earn. The act is considered a crime under federal law.

    1. Right call. It makes you a dick, but shouldn’t be illegal

      1. Unless you use it to swindle but I guess that the swindle is still the crime.

        Maybe it hact like the difference between armed and unarmed robbery.

    2. I don’t see how it is not. This goes to the distinction between fraud and speech. It is and should be a crime to defraud someone, by speech or any other method. The speech itself, however, is not fraud, just the method for committing the fraud. Fraud requires damages and a victim. So, if someone is out there claiming to have won medals as a way to make money, then they are guilty of fraud and should be prosecuted. If they are falsely claiming to have won medals because they are kind of sad and want to feel good about themselves, they are not guilty of anything other than being kind of sad.

      If it is illegal to wear medals you didn’t earn, how are Civil War reenactors not guilty of a crime? “Hey buddy, you were never in the Grand Army of the Republic!!”

      1. I imagine that only a few really *committed* re-enactors represent themselves as *real* Civil War soldiers.

        1. So if you want to “re-enact” a Purple Heart without trying to fool people, that would be one thing. It’s if you claim you have a real Purple Heart when actually you didn’t – there I have trouble seeing the 1st Amendment issue.

          But the Supreme Court precedent has restricted Congress’s power here.

  34. Chinese Gaming Billionaire Buys U.S. Gay Dating App Grindr

    One of China’s newly minted technology billionaires signed a deal to buy a controlling stake in Grindr, the world’s biggest gay social-networking app.

    Beijing Kunlun Tech Co., an Internet games company that helped introduce Angry Birds to China, offered $93 million in cash for 60 percent of New Grindr LLC, the company said in a statement to the Shenzhen stock exchange. Beijing Kunlun Chairman Zhou Yahui, who became a billionaire after the company listed shares last year, was scouting other potential investments in the U.S., according to a company spokeswoman, Sophie Chen.

    [insert Engrish joke here]

    1. “Psst, you know that ‘gay’ doesn’t just mean ‘happy’, right?”

    1. Of course they are looking to prosecute him for ‘sedition’ while downplaying and excusing the actual raping.

      1. You know who else wanted to prosecute people for sedition under German law?

        1. Arminius?

        2. You know who else wanted to use the power of the state to silence far-right-wing German celebrities? And fat lot of good that did them.

    2. “Mr. Bachmann has been the target of a widespread delegitimisation effort ever since PEGIDA came to the fore in 2014. He was forced to resign the group’s leadership after pictures of him dressed as Adolf Hitler were disseminated online. He was reinstated after it became clear to PEGIDA’s leadership that the pictures had be doctored.”

      “Well, we *did* do the moustache.”

      “And the swastika.”

      “But he’s a witch!”

      “Burn him!”

    3. So Germans are not allowed to oppose taking in refugees, they’re not allowed to not subsidize them, but they’re allowed to shut up and pretend there’s no cultural incompatibilities because freedom.

    4. The street movement has strict rules about behaviour, but protest was derailed by some “HOGESA” (Hooligans Against Sharia) members who became aggressive and unwieldy

      Interesting – this bit was omitted from the half-dozen or so reports I read yesterday.

  35. Trayvon Martin: Mother of Teen Fatally Shot in 2012 Pens Op-Ed Endorsing Hillary Clinton for President

    “We simply can’t afford to elect a Republican who refuses even to acknowledge the problem of senseless gun violence,” Sybrina Fulton wrote for CNN. Her son, Trayvon Martin, was fatally shot in 2012.

    1. But senseless fist violence is A-OK, right?

    2. How about the problem of mothers who raise dumb ass sons who think it is a good idea to go MMA on strangers for the crime of “following them”? I am sorry she lost her son but fuck her. Your son attacked someone and was on top of him beating the shit out of him. The victim defending himself with a gun is properly called “sensible gun violence”.

    3. Fulton writes that meeting Clinton in November helped cement her endorsement, primarily because the candidate listened to the group’s ideas on guns and criminal justice reform.

      Sheesh, Sybrina, *I* will listen to your ideas. Will you then endorse *me*?

    4. Hillary is gonna teach people to raise their kids right.

      1. Her village will.

    5. If she ‘penned an op-ed’ then I am a flying reindeer. I heard the woman when she testified. She is illiterate. Clinton’s campaign team penned that and paid her to say she did.

  36. Amanda Marcote, Salon.

    Hear me out. The gist of it is “how dare a misogynist like Trump portray himself as a defender of women by attacking Bill Clinton?”

    But wait -Trump isn’t attacking and he’s not attacking Bill. Trump is defending himself from attacks by Hillary by pointing out her hypocrisy in claiming to support women after how she defended Bill. (Look at her private words and actions toward Bill – she knew damn well Bill was guilty but she attacked his accusers anyway. Remember the howls of derision when she said victims should always be believed?)

    But Amanda’s not smart enough to develop this Siamese straw-men argument herself and I’ve seen this concern-trolling about the wisdom of Trump attacking Bill’s past when we’ve already litigated all that and Bill came out of that briarpatch smelling of roses. Not as blatant as Amanda makes it, just gliding right by that “Trump attacks” and sliding into the issue of the whole Monica Lewinski thing as if that’s what it’s all about.

    The memo has gone forth, this shall be the narrative. And it sounds familiar: lie, stonewall, point at the squirrels as long as it takes to dismiss the fake scandal with a “what difference, at this point, does it make”.

    1. It is a tough time for feminists. The twin projects of putting HIllary’s sorry ass in the White House and finally criminalizing any contact with women the woman later decides she regretted or didn’t like have collided in a giant train wreck. And people like Marcotte are having a real sad about it.

    2. If it comes down to Clinton/Trump (and just for the record, I’m standing on principle and stick by my assertion that our next President will be Joe Biden – all this crap about the polls and the issues overlooks what might happen between now and October surprise time) the debates are going to be epic.

      Hillary: You’re an asshole.

      Trump: I’m a rich, successful, wonderful person and just look at all the people who worship me. I’ve heard some people say they have pictures of you giving a dog a blowjob in the middle of Times Square. I have no idea if that’s true, I’m just saying.

      Hillary: Look, I’ve heard it all before and I can take the criticism, but your bullying attacks like this against women and minorities and gays and the poor and disenfranchised aren’t going to work any more. We poor black gay crippled people are standing up to you and saying “No more!” and that frightens you to see your victims finally fighting back.

      Trump: Some people, dog, blowjob, Times Square.

      Hillary: Poor black gay woman.

      For two and-a-half fucking hours.

      1. I’m a rich, successful, wonderful person and just look at all the people who worship me. I’ve heard some people say they have pictures of you giving a dog a blowjob in the middle of Times Square. I have no idea if that’s true, I’m just saying.

        I’m dyin’ here. If our luxury liner is doomed to sink to the bottom of the Atlantic, with candidates like these, at least the band will be really entertaining.

        It’d almost be worth putting up with President Trump to have a debate like what you’re talking about.

        1. I don’t see how we could possibly have a more entertaining debate than Trump v Clinton.

          I would actually watch it.

          1. From what I have seen The Hildebeast is completely inept. It will be wonderful to see her flouncing and flopping around on the stage while Trump mops the floor with her ass.

            I can’t decide if I would rather see that or her lose in the primary again to a commie.

    3. I don’t have cable at home, so I rarely watch CNN or FNC anymore, but I was at the father-in-law’s over the weekend and sat down to CNN for the first time in years. The way the Trump vs. Bill and Hillary thing was presented was shockingly deceitful. The “reporters” repeatedly claimed that Trump was essentially attacking Hillary by pointing out that her husband had cheated and that reflected poorly on her.

      Umm….no. Trump is pointing out that her husband has repeatedly been accused of a wide range of sexual misconduct, including rape and sexual assault, and that Hillary, who now claims that alleged victims should be believed no matter what, used her power and influence to attack and/or silence these women.

      Huge difference, that.

    1. We are having muslim terror attacks every day now in the west, a full-on invasion of europe, the economy is in the shitter etc etc; real world problems affecting people’s lives and scaring the shit out of them and that is what they are going with?

      A fake climate crisis and the completely contentless issue of inequality?

      The democrat party is one big, empty suit.

  37. Kim Davis: Clerk Jailed for Refusing Gay Marriage Licenses to Attend State of the Union, Reports Say

    The Kentucky county clerk is reportedly attending President Obama’s final State of the Union address Tuesday at the request of the Family Research Council, a conservative Christian group.

    1. So are the Nuns who are being forced to buy birth control. The SOTUS has become the national night of trolling your opponents.

      1. That’s what Barry does best.

    2. at the request of the Family Research Council

      Who is reason sending?

      1. DONDERRRROOOOOOOOOO

  38. Yesterday, on the way to work, my BMW started smoking out of the tailpipe – alot. Strange smell, not oil. I drove back home and the amount of smoke decreased the further I went. Heat gauge stayed in the same place (thought it was only 12 degrees outside) and the car drove normally.

    I parked the car, let it cool down for an hour or so, and then went and checked the coolant. Hardly anything in there – almost bone dry. Started the car and a trickle started. Also saw water coming out of the exhaust – which was also oily, having the same consistency as the coolant in the radiator. Pulling the dipstick, there was some white-ish gunk on top.

    I’m diagnosing blown head gasket. My mechanic friend says it could be a bad CCV/EGR valve, but I would expect burning oil and no loss of coolant.

    Should I fix – normally a ~$2500 repair – a 12yo car with 113k miles, or replace?

    1. Depends on how much you rely on the car and how much you want to avoid a car payment. If it is a second car and not the car you would bet your job or life to start, then I might fix it. If it is the car you have to bet your job and life on starting, I would trade it off and get something under warranty, assuming your finances make that an option.

      1. I was planning on replacing the car in the summer – once I had some work done on my house and taken care of some other things… and to go through the set of Blizzaks I put on the car last winter.

        1. If you were planning to replace it this summer, then trade it off now. Do not drop another dime into a car you don’t plan to keep.

    2. Look at the payment costs per month for a new car. Estimate based on your car’s past history how long until you expect it to next break down. If the cost to repair split into payments between now and the next repair is less than a new car payment, fix your car. If not, get a new car.

      1. That is a good method except that the past is no predictor of the future with a car. There really is no way to tell if this is going to be a one time repair or something else is going to go wrong next week.

        1. Mmmm, yes and no, there are certain points where certain models will just give up the ghost (my mother found this out via multiple mini-vans), but your car history is relevant to if your specific car does or does not have problems that will lead to the need for more repairs than normal. Add in some research on your car model and what tends to go, review with your mechanic what is likely to break next and when. That should give you a decent estimate. It’s not perfect, but nothing is.

          1. I agree with Illocust – you know the car and how much you trust it and how much it’s worth to you. Get advice from a trust-worthy mechanic and check the consumer complaints boards to see the overall opinion on this vehicle. I would add though that you should check used car prices – how much is your car worth if you fix it and sell it versus how much is it worth if you sell it as is? Can put $2500 into it and get an extra $4500? The mileage is not really that high, if it’s aged gracefully and been well-maintained the age is not a deal-breaker either. (If you’re old like me you remember the days when 100k was the standard life expectancy of a vehicle – not any more.)

            1. Mmmmmm, a BMW out of warranty with a toasted head gasket. Yeah, I’m not seeing that this is going to be the only problem you’ll have with this car from now on.

              Really, you had me at, “BMW out of warranty.”

              Then again, car shopping sucks. Sorry for your situation. I’ve been there, albeit with a Honda.

              1. Yeah, I went down that road. They are absolutely fantastic cars, but no way can you afford the long-term maintenance. My 328i was fantastic, but eventually all 4 automatic window units went bad – thanks for making them with a plastic pulley, BMW. I was expecting to pay a lot – maybe $65 to fix them. Heh… that’s rich. $350. Each. Sheesh.

                When it came time to do the 100k service I had sticker shock. Just doing the plugs on the thing was like $400.

                Traded it in for a Hyundai and never looked back. Got more complements on the Hyundai to boot.

      2. Make sure to take into account the possibility of your insurance prices going up as well. Newer cars often cost more to insure.

        1. That’s what I thought until I just replaced a 10 year old Honda Civic with a 2016 model and they raised my insurance premiums by a penny. Is this what being in your 30’s is all about?!

    3. Yeah, sounds like head gasket to me. How’s the frame looking? You live in Michigan, right? I imagine there is lots of salt.

      1. No rust on the car – only been in Michigan for three years, was a southern car before that.

        It’s actually been a reliable car until now.

        And yes, it’s my daily – odd choice I know but I do enjoy driving it.

    4. What’s the car worth and how much would a replacement cost you? I’m not a Bimmer owner, but the mileage is pretty low and 12 years old is really not that much these days. I’d probably fix it if that’s the only thing wrong with it.

    5. Get a correct diagnosis first. If it’s just a leak around the EGR spacer causing coolant to get into the cylinder then it’s worth fixing. If it’s a head gasket, craigslist that sucker quick.

      1. Should he announce the problem or fill it with coolant and hope the buyer doen’t find it ?

        Maybe doctor it up with Mr. Gasket before the unsuspecting buyer come along ?

        What would be your recommendatioins ?

        1. Actually, I would put it in an auto auction. I wouldn’t want to be near the transaction. Caveat emptor.

          1. Good answer.

            I spent 20 years as an independent used car wholeseller.

            I once got extremely upset with people who would bad mouth used car dealers and then laugh about how they cut 30K miles off of their trade in before showing it to the dealer.

            They never admitting to putting 2 and 2 together and understand thet THEY were the problem.

            I mostly dealt in dealer to dealer transactions but I was still covered under the used car dealer reputation social measure.

            1. I rent and sell construction equipment for a living. I’m always getting asked for prices on used equipment. Frankly, it’s a question I hate because my business is almost all repeat and the risk of selling a turd to a long-term customer is not worth it.

              So I price my used equipment high and if I know it’s past it’s useful lifetime, I send it to auction sans any identifying labels that could tie it back to me. It’s guaranteed if there are identifying marks, I will get a phone call asking why it doesn’t work properly and what am I going to do about it.

  39. Kentucky Governor: Matt Bevin Planning to Dismantle State’s Health Exchange, Report Says

    Bevin aims to dismantle the state’s health insurance exchange created under the Obama Administration’s Affordable Care Act, the Courier-Journal reported. He reportedly sent notice on Dec. 30.

    1. Clearly, Bevin hates poor people and wants to go back to the dark days of 2008, when people were dropping dead in the streets from lack of affordable healthcare.

  40. Rightly or wrongly, some people are under the impression that Michael Bloomberg is “fiscally conservative and socially liberal” – something to bear in mind when being tempted to optimism about the libertarian moment.

    Looky here – “Bloomberg’s brand of fiscal conservatism and social liberalism places him in the tradition of[New York] city’s iconoclast Republican mayors.”

    and here – “…as a [sic] someone who is socially liberal, but economically conservative, Bloomberg would be the type of pragmatist I’ve hoped would run.”

    1. and here – “Like Mr Giuliani, Mr Bloomberg is fiscally conservative and socially liberal.”

      and here – “Bloomberg is a fiscal conservative and liberal on social issues. He supports marriage for same-sex couples and abortion rights.”

    2. So ‘socially liberal’ means wildly and flagrantly authoritarian now?

      1. Of course not, any True Libertarian knows that – but many people in politics and among the unenlightened masses *don’t* know that.

        Which gives context to all those “OMG so many libertarians! More people tell pollsters they’re economically conservative and socially liberal!”

        1. HaHa

          Someone saying they are socially liberal today doesn’t have the same meaning it once did.

          Today’s liberal is an authotarian statist.

      2. So ‘socially liberal’ means wildly and flagrantly authoritarian now?

        it has for quite some time, and when the socially liberal conflicts with the fiscally conservative, the socially liberal wins every single time.

        So, in reality, “socially liberal fiscally conservative” means . . . progressive.

        1. Yeah, time to take off their mask and reveal who they *really* are.

          Or else they’ll get away with posing as libertarians.

      3. No, but it no longer coincides w “socially tolerant”. It just means on the opposite side in the culture war from “socially conservative”. Neither of those sides is particularly libertarian or authoritarian,

        For example, socially the “liberals” & “conservatives” can tussle over the curriculum content of the gov’t schools. Neither makes education either more or less free. They’re tugging the rope in opposite directions, but neither of them along an axis that either libertarians or authoritarians per se are interested in.

  41. Fourth Circuit court of appeals (link goes to PDF): Sure, these cops used excessive force, but the cops weren’t previously on notice that tazing a man 5 times in 2 minutes for simple noncompliance, causing his death, was unconstitutional, so they’re allowed qualified immunity.

    1. With Armstrong separated from the post, Appellees restrained him. Lieutenant McDonald and Sergeant Sheppard pinned Armstrong down by placing a knee on his back and standing on his back, respectively, while handcuffs were applied. But even after being cuffed, Armstrong continued to kick at Sergeant Sheppard, so the police shackled his legs too.

      The officers then stood up to collect themselves.

      I think standing on his back contributed as much to his death as the tasing.

  42. Bloomberg, Trump, and Clinton?

    There is going to be a revolution against downstate New York.

    1. Is this a special edition of fuck, marry, kill?

      1. Even I can’t get excited for that repulsive trio.

      2. Fuck one with a rusty chainsaw, marry one off to Omaima Nelson, kill the third – either by fucking them with a rusty chainsaw or marrying them off to Omaima Nelson.

  43. David Bowie, twisted and making us uncomfortable to the end. Check the videol

    1. Saw the video for Blackstar last night on VH-1 Classic. It’s a huge, prog-jazz-fusion thing, super-long and fairly delightfully weird. And the video itself is creepy as shit and almost delves into Tool territory without the claymation.

  44. Retired judge gets probation for firing at LAPD officer from West L.A. townhouse

    “It’s important to me and this community there not be a perception we have a two-tiered system of justice,” Goethals told the court.

    Bascue’s attorney agreed that the “very unusual” case did not demonstrate preferential treatment. Hirsch said his client had also written a letter to the police officer whom he shot at, apologizing for what occurred.

    1. He said he was sorry, what more do you want, you jackals?

      1. So…Joe Public calls the cops and when they arrive, shoots one of them.

        I’m sure Joe Public would get probation, too.

        /sarc

        1. And I’m totally sure he wouldn’t get shot himself.

          /more sarc

    2. Bascue’s attorney, Richard Hirsch, said his client had consumed both alcohol and Ambien on the night of the shooting. Since his arrest in the early morning hours of June 11, Bascue has undergone treatment for alcoholism, including private counseling, regular Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and a two-day outpatient program, Hirsch said.

      After you fuck you it is important to get into some form of treatment as quickly as possible. I hate how that “works.”

      “He didn’t intend to either harm a police officer or do anything to put a police officer in jeopardy,” Hirsch said.

      Even thought he shot at him/near him. Right.

      1. I mixed ambient with alcohol once or twice.

        One morning my wife told me that she noticed I was out of bed the night before and went looking for me. She discovered that I had taken the microwave out of the kitchen ( a big one), hauled it out into the front yard and was sitting on it, stark naked, and staring at the stars.

        After she told me all that I was only able to vaguely recall looking at the stars, but no recollection of any of the rest.

        I looked out the window and sure enough, the microwave was in the front yard.

        It is a good thing I live in the middle of nowhere and not in town.

        I am gonna say the judge is telling the truth.

        1. My brother would stay up partying and drinking until dawn every weekend, mess up his sleep schedule, then take Ambien throughout the week to help him get to sleep. He said he woke up one night standing by his bed with his Springfield XD-9 (with no mag) in his hand, and there was a full magazine on the bed that he had apparently loaded in his sleep. He started keeping his guns at my house until he quit using Ambien.

          Ambien is spooky as fuck. You couldn’t pay me to take it.

    3. “officers found him inside, holding two guns. He loaded the guns’ magazines and pointed a gun at his head, police said.”

      Despite all they do to insulate themselves from consequences, the statism still rots their soul.

      FTA he was previously gang task force prosecutor.

    4. So, you don’t want to make sure that there isn’t a two-tiered system of justice, you just want to make sure that people aren’t aware of it?

  45. http://twitchy.com/2016/01/11/…..ts-burned/

    The Kochs built a refinery in Germany in 1933. That means they are Nazis you know. The fact that George Soros actually collaborated and helped Nazis round up Jews for extermination is, however, not something we should hold against him, unlike these evil Kochs and their Nazi war profiteering.

  46. What model is it ? Top of the line or lowest cost model used as a loss leader for marketing purposes ? Compare the relative value in spending $2,500 on a used car woth 10,000 vs. one worht $35,000.

    You’re pretty much going to pay for it either way. If you trade it in like it is the dealer has to assume a worse case senario for the repair and some dealerships require in house repairs for the used car dept. Dealership labor rates are higher than reputable independent shops.

    If you like the car well enough and especially if it’s paid for take it to a reputable shop and fix it.

    If you don’t like the car that much and don’t mind another 5 years or or so in car payments, or dropping a lump sum , get a new one.

    Whichever you decide do not drive it to the shop, hire a flatbed wrecker.

    1. ultra-base black ’04 325i with a 5-speed. Probably the cheapest BMW you could buy in 2004. Only option seems to be the sunroof.

      It’s a good driver though – fun, though not particularly fast.

  47. Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is reportedly considering a third-party run for the presidency.

    Who in the world would vote for him? Aside from all the dumbfucks in NYC that is…

    1. That is a really good question. And exactly what would Bloomberg offer that Hillary or even Bernie would not? I can’t imagine any Republican voting for him. So, he would likely give a place for Democrats who can’t stomach Hillary to go.

    2. I can see him getting support from voters who are solely interested in civilian disarmament, but other than that… I can’t see who would vote for him.

  48. Dad was so drunk, he couldn’t report daughter’s gang rape

    The Brooklyn dad who ran away while his 18-year-old daughter was being gang-raped at gunpoint walked into two local delis to try to get help ? but was too drunk for anyone to understand him, witnesses said Monday.

    “He was swaying side to side. He asked me, ‘Lend me your phone.’ I said no,” said a worker in one of the shops, Zaida Deli and Grocery

    This story…

    1. “Two of the teens were brought in by their mothers Sunday night”

      “You naughty, naughty boy, now march right down to the police station and say how naughty you’ve been!”

      “Ma, do I have to?”

      “Yes, and until you do there’s no allowance for you!”

  49. All the articles about this are too nauseating, so I will just share the best photo instead:

    President Obama with Kendrick Lamar, his favorite rapper, in the oval office.

    Our coolest president ever!

    1. I didn’t look; did the photoger get a circline fluorescent bulb centered above his head? A rainbow extending from his finger?

    2. Hey, that’s the white man handshake.

      CULTURAL APROP……….

      never mind…..

  50. It’s just San Francisco:

    “S. F. supervisor wants junk food out of vending machines”
    […]
    “”We’re really proud San Francisco is taking this step,” she said. “It’s part of their continued efforts to make the healthy choice the easy choice across the city.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..751904.php

    I guess they were making too much money on the vending machines, or someone likes the smell of rotting veggies when no one buys them.

    1. The easy choice – take it or leave it. And then when San Franciscans accept the easy choice, you’re going to sadly be forced to introduce legislation to correct the problem of them accepting the easy choice. “We tried offering them a carrot but they refused the offer so now we’re forced to give them the stick. One way or the other these bastards are going to get a carrot stick shoved into them.”

  51. to make the healthy choice the easy choice….

    It also makes it the only choice which means no choice.

    1. You should do a proggy-to-human translation book.

    2. People will just have to pick up their junk food during their smoke break now.

    3. See my above comment – you still have a choice, for now, to decline the offer. To me, that’s the easy choice when you want some Cheetos and you’re offered carrot sticks. I suspect that this person honestly believes the only reason someone would possibly indicate they prefer Cheetos to carrot sticks is if they are victims of a false consciousness created by those evil greedy corporations hell-bent on destroying humanity . These poor helpless victims must be rescued by a knight in shining armor, of virtue pure and honor true – and she knows just where to find one for she has a mirror right in front of her. (Naturally, you must expect that victims of false consciousness will protest that they are not victims of false consciousness and do not require rescue – that’s how you know they’re victims of false consciousness.)

      1. those evil greedy corporations hell-bent on destroying humanity

        For great profit. Because a destroyed humanity can make them rich, or something.

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