Election 2016

The Biggest Loser at the GOP Debate? America, I Argue Tonight on Red Eye w/ Tom Shillhue

Unkind words for Donald Trump, Chris Christie, John Kasich, Vladimir Putin and more, at 3 a.m. ET on Fox News


At 3 a.m. ET, I'll be appearing on the Fox News show Red Eye w/ Tom Shillhue to make belligerent comments about the GOP debate, foreign policy, terrorism panic, Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, and men who make very public wedding asks. Also on the program will be comedians Tom Cotter and Lynne Koplitz, as well as regulars Joanne Nosuchinsky and TV's Andy Levy

NEXT: Federal Reserve Announces First Interest Rate Target Hike Since 2006

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  1. Do you have a zoot suit? You should wear that.

    1. Oh, I am dressed very badly, you can be sure.

  2. Can’t take my dick off of you..

    I love you baby

    Trust in my starship
    while your
    planet melts from
    Putin bullshit
    while Putin
    and releases star whores
    after Putin was an ASS

  3. I need you baby because
    Putin is lonely fucking russian

  4. Little frozen rivers alongside gleaming nuclear moonlights
    and a bunch of assholes in this State LOVE
    Putin, I guess…

    Hey, Putin, don’t kill us all? We dig your bitchass self in spite of
    the FACT you are a DICK asshole hating human rights thug

  5. angled faces on the tall spheres
    should resist the deadly clouds’
    because the lost spaces of angry humans
    across the boundaries of angst
    should determine that earth worlds serve the purpose of not a single nation

    the planet has changed
    all voices should join
    for the greater peace of the living

  6. rand paul sings me asleep.
    and i do NOT GIVE a single fuck about
    how how much i LOvE RAND PAUL

    IF America falls into the lovely asshole of Trump while the Democrats spread their millions of legs for the fucking of Trump cock and his ejaculation into their mass pussies…. WHERE THE FUCK do you THINK CUM goes DUMBASSES?

  7. “and men who make very public wedding asks”

    I don’t know what this is. Can I get a hint?

    1. Missed the late night (east coaster) thread:
      OT: SF RENTAL RATES SKYROCKET on 12/16/15!
      SF is an expensive place to live, and brain-dead proggies see that as a difficulty. In the late ’70s, Di Fi (she was mayor at the time) pushed through a ‘limited’ rent control (post ’79 construction exempt), knowing that general rent control would kill construction. So her sop to the proggies has continued to expand with the resulting tremendous increase in rental costs. Owners are only displeased that quite a bit of the increases has to go to legal help; ‘fixers’ to make sure you can toss the bastards out.
      Given district elections, North Beach/Chinatown just elected a true imbecile who ran on a ‘moderate’ platform and as soon as he took office, dropped the mask and today demanded that ALL rental properties will henceforth be rent-controlled, offering developers trade-offs in height limits and zoning restrictions. As proof of his idiocy, he will then proclaim that his rent control measure ‘didn’t affect the rental market after it was approved!’
      This man has zero knowledge of how markets work. His “announcement” was sufficient to change the predicted rental income for new construction by, oh, 25%. It has to be, since charging more later is out the window.
      Those trade-offs will be taken, and that’s the last new rental property you’ll see that isn’t tax-payer funded.

      1. I am totally screwed if I have to move. I’d have to pay 2-3x what I am paying now for an equivalent place. And I’m not under rent control.

        1. You can thank econ ignoramuses like Peskin; he just drove the market.

      2. I can’t wait to be out there this summer… nothing like blowing all my salary on a shoebox to live in. At least it’s only for 4 weeks, so it’s like an extended vacation rather than actually living there.

        1. Hey, drop me line when you arrive. We’ll have a beer with some of the other H+R types nearby. My handle+gmail.com.

      3. Geez even in NYC it only applies when -gt 6 units. Too bad that doesn’t include me until I move next year.

      4. “that’s the last new rental property you’ll see that isn’t tax-payer funded.”


  8. Millionaire found not guilty of rape after claiming he tripped and fell on woman

    A millionaire businessman has been found not guilty of rape after claiming he accidentally penetrated her when he tripped and fell.

    Ehsan Abdulaziz, 46, was initially accused of forcing himself on the 18-year-old as she slept on a couch at his London flat after a night of drinking.

    The Saudi property developer said he had already had sex with the young woman’s 24-year-old friend and it was possible his penis may have been poking out of his underwear when he tripped.


    Abdulaziz said he had accidentally fallen on the teenager and that she tried to seduce him, and that was how his DNA got onto her vagina.

    “I’m fragile, I fell down but nothing ever happened, between me and this girl nothing ever happened,” he said.

    He also told the court it was possible he had semen on his hands after having sex with the young woman’s friend.

    The jury acquitted Abdulaziz after just 30 minutes of deliberations.

    1. Onion, right?

      1. If you mean by anything Saudi Arabia related – yes.

      2. I would love to know the composition of that jury, and about any sudden increases in their bank accounts after the verdict.

    2. Ehsan Abdulaziz seems like the kind of guy who knows exactly how many seconds it takes for rohypnol to kick in.

      1. In case anyone was wondering… WOULDN’T. Jesse?

    3. The Mirror reported the group had met at an exclusive West End club last year where he entertained them before offering them a lift home.

      Is it victim blaming to say that young women shouldn’t assume they can trust a guy just because once he offered them a lift home. He could still turn out to be a clumsy oaf with an unruly penis

      1. unruly penis

        At least it’s not detachable.

    4. A millionaire businessman has been found not guilty of rape after claiming he accidentally penetrated her when he tripped and fell.

      Sounds legit.

    5. That’s the ‘Austin Powers’ move/defense.

  9. Belgium ‘bungled Abdeslam’s arrest’ two days after Paris attacks due to law banning overnight raids

    Police failed to arrest Salah Abdeslam, Europe’s most wanted man, after locating him in Molenbeek two days after the Paris attacks due to a legal loophole over searching premises between 11pm and 5am

    1. To be honest, the term “loophole” raises flags.

    2. The Mayor of Molenbeek loves playing the pick and roll for terrorists.

      That guy. Woodchipper.

  10. Looks like Matt is not interested in making America great again.

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